A/N: Warning: Description and discussion of suicide.

—

The war changes in April 1917 with America joining the war though Emma knows they'll only be in the war for like 5 minutes and will be bringing over the Spanish Flu.

By this point, Sybil and Emma had finished their training in York and had begun working at Downton Hospital. Both of them at the end of a long shift back to Downton where, while Emma is no longer working there as a servant, she's allowed to stay in her old room with Gemma. The long and exhausting hours is something she's somewhat used to so that bit isn't the hardest part of it all. Sybil and Emma have also grown closer over this shared experience; particularly bezzies now.

It's weird how Emma is hardly in the house anymore but Gemma and Anna tell her what she is missing when they can.

There's Mr Lang the new Valet though he seems like a shaken rabbit caught in the headlights but he has been to war though so can't fault him there. William has been called up and is going for his medical and it seems there's something going on with him and Daisy.

Gemma tells Mr Molesley is hovering around Anna and discussing books with her. While Emma finds that sweet, she knows that Anna won't be over Mr Bates any time soon. Also, apparently, Mr Carson looks ready to pop a vein with the stress of maintaining everything to pre-war levels despite losing staff and that no one really cares except him.

One bit of news they don't have to tell Emma about is Thomas getting injured in his hand and being sent back home. He can't come to Downton Hospital though as it's only for officers. He's not going back to the front but Miss O'Brien tells her that she'll work on getting him back to Downton with Lady Grantham.

Nothing has really happened between her and Mr Branson (Emma felts and feels uncomfortable calling him 'Tom' yet after being so used to not being supposed to plus it sounds a bit personal, maybe intimate) since her letter other than him writing back. In the letter, he said he still doesn't want to retract his proposal as he says she's still the same girl but needs time to digest – to get used to the idea, not that she blames him. Now it wasn't just him waiting.

When Emma returns to Downton, they didn't, and still don't have much time to talk as Emma is more elsewhere now, so they didn't have much time to talk though she's glad as it was awkward. He had asked her more. Emma reluctantly tells him when the war ends, who wins, the Treaty of Versailles and the Russian revolution though she holds back from telling him about the next world war considering it's too far away to prove what she's saying is true and she felt she was giving too much away anyway. Being a history nerd helps with proving her credentials.

This calms him down a bit as well as making it more real for him. He hasn't asked anything about Irish independence thankfully considering she doesn't know much about it, which is what you get going to an English school.

—

Emma catches Lady Grantham with Major Clarkson outside the Hospital at one point.

"I'd love to help, but it's not within my power to hook men from hither and thither as I please." She hears Clarkson say. She decides to linger, curious about what they're saying. Lieutenant Courtenay's pills can wait.

"It's not at all what I was asking." Her Ladyship replies.

"Forgive me, but I thought you were saying that you wanted Corporal Barrow to come and work here when he's fully recovered." Okay, now she's definitely listening. It'd be great to see Thom- she means Corporal Barrow -again.

"I think it a credit to him that he wants to continue to serve in this way. After he's been wounded." Lady Grantham argues.

"Well, that it may be, but it's not for me to decide what happens next." With that, the Countess nods disappointedly and leaves.

Clarkson turns and sees Emma standing there. "Don't you start." He says before Emma can say anything.

"I wasn't going to say anything Major." She says, he relaxes. "But it would be nice for Corporal Barrow to return." She grins at him.

He sighs irritably and walks back inside.

—

"Oh, I like a bit of life in a house," Anna says as she trails into the Kitchen with Emma behind her. Anna had been explaining to her how Lady Rosamund and Lady Mary's new beau, Sir Richard, are going to be invited for a weekend.

"But won't Mr Carson spontaneously combust? I might not be here as often but I have noticed he's extra stressed." Emma says to her. They stop next to Mrs Patmore.

"Erm, I had a letter yesterday." Mrs Patmore says, going over to her little desk.

"Yes?" Anna encourages as she and Emma follow.

"It's my sister's boy. He's-he's with the Lancashire Fusiliers, only he's gone missing." She puts on her glasses and pulls out the note. "Erm, "missing presumed dead" they call it."

"Jesus. How did that happen?" Emma questions.

"Well, that's just it. They can't find out how it happened, why it happened, whether we can be sure it did happen or he isn't lying prisoner somewhere." Mrs Patmore says in a panicked ramble.

"Why not ask His Lordship?" Anna suggests. "He'll have friends in the war office. They can dig something up."

"Oh, well n- I don't like to bother him." Mrs Patmore says.

"Why not? He's got broad shoulders." Anna argues.

"Mmmh." Mrs Patmore sighs.

"Can't hurt," Emma adds. "Better to know than wondering." Mrs Patmore nods mutely, her mind clearly still focused on her nephew; she doesn't blame her.

—

Emma heading off for a shift at the Hospital and is going out through the servants' entrance though technically she's not one anymore. Mr Carson will still have a stink if she goes out through the front entrance and since he looks like he's ready to keel over the stress, Emma decides to go with it.

Emma enters the Courtyard through the door when she spots Thomas. "Thomas!" Emma cries, throwing herself at him. He laughs as he catches her. Miss O'Brien rolls her eyes at the sight but Emma thinks she sees a very slight quirk at the edge of her lips.

Emma pulls back and holds his shoulders to look at him. "So, it seems Miss O'Brien's scheming has actually done some good."

"The cheek." O'Brien huffs.

Thomas lets out a snort. "Yes, I'm now working under Major Clarkson. So are you apparently."

Emma shrugs. "Well…" Her eyes flicker down to see his hand. It's covered by a fingerless glove thing.

Miss O'Brien seems to be on the same wavelength. "What about your blighty?" She nods to his hand. He pulls off the glove, showing how it was maimed by the bullet, Emma cringes at the sight of it - though, of all of the injuries she has seen, it isn't the worst. "My god."

"It's not so bad. And it lived up to its name and got me home." Thomas says.

"Go inside, say hello to everyone," Emma tells him. "I've got to head off." She leaves the Courtyard.

—

Mr Branson, later on, turns up at the Hospital to inform Sybil that her mother expects her back for tea and Sybil is not happy.

"I can't possibly come! Really, Mama is incorrigible!"

"It's not poor Branson's fault." Mrs Crawley says.

"But what is the point of Mama's soirees? What are they for?" Sybil argues.

"Well, I'm going out for dinner tonight and I'm glad. Is that wrong?"

"Lady Grantham has also invited Nurse Byrne as well." Mr Branson adds. "She felt Lady Sybil might more likely come if she does."

Emma spins around from where she had been making a bed and stares at him in shock. "What?!" she exclaims in a squeaky voice.

"Well, that's nice, it'll be fun." Mrs Crawley says.

"Will it?" Emma questions in the same squeaky voice. Not only is it the Downton house and Village Crawleys, including newly appointed Captain Crawley who is in the country to help recruitment, but she knows that Lady Rosamund and Sir Richard, Lady Mary's new 'friend', are coming as well. Help.

"Well, if I'm going, you are too Emma," Sybil says.

"But what am I going to wear?" Emma questions.

"We'll find you something."

She looks over to see Mr Branson amused by her reaction.

Thomas walks in with some blankets and Mrs Crawley turns to him. "Thomas, you can cover for Nurse Crawley and Nurse Byrne, can't you?"

"I can." Thomas starts making up a bed and Mr Branson approaches him, they talk briefly.

Emma goes over to them with a bottle of pills in her hand. "Can you give Lieutenant Courtenay his pills?"

"Of course, I can. I'd be glad to." Thomas replies. Mr Branson and Emma share a lingering look as she walks away.

—

Emma shifts uncomfortably in her new clothes that she had borrowed from Sybil as it seemed they aren't too dissimilar in size. She scans everyone from her spot next to Sybil waiting for Mrs Crawley to arrive as Emma knows she'll treat her normally. She also takes in the world of socialising before dinner as it's something she'd never seen. The greeting between Emma and the Earl and Countess was incredibly awkward but they were kind even if slightly uncomfortable with the idea of their ex-servant joining them for dinner; don't know why really considering it's their fault she's going to be sitting at the table with them. Emma nervously eyes Sir Richard, who is by Lady May; something about him unnerves her.

"Mrs Crawley, Captain Crawley, and Miss Swire." Mr Carson announces. Oh, thank God.

Mr Carson steps aside for them to enter.

Lord Grantham goes over to greet them. "Ah. Isobel." Mrs Crawley smiles and walks past him to Lady Grantham and Captain Crawley steps forward. "Well, now. Still in one piece. Thank God."

They shake hands. "Touch wood."

"I never stop touching it."

Lady Mary drags Sir Richard over to them. "Do you know Sir Richard Carlisle? My cousin, Captain Crawley."

"How do you do?" Sir Richard greets. Sybil, her aunt and Emma watch from the other side of the room.

"And his fiancé, Miss Swire." Lord Grantham adds.

"I know Miss Swire. Her uncle and I are old friends." Sir Richard says.

"Well, old acquaintances, anyway." Miss Swire says. Well, that's interesting.

Sybil turns to her aunt. "What do you think Mary sees in him?"

"Besides the money, you mean?" Lady Rosamund replies.

"It must be more than that," Emma speaks. Sybil nods in agreement.

Lady Rosamund raises an eyebrow at Emma in surprise. "For you two. Not necessarily for her."

Mrs Crawley wanders over to them. "You look lovely Emma."

Emma blushes. "Oh, thank you, Mrs Crawley. I had some help though." She glances at Captain Crawley again. "You must be glad to see your son again."

Her smile dims a bit, likely thinking then of how she could easily lose him in this war. "Yes, I am."

"Have you met Mary's new suitor?" Lady Rosamund butts in pointedly. Emma wonders what she's trying here.

"Um… no I have not." Mrs Crawley replies.

"Well, he seems like a good match for Mary." Lady Rosamund says.

"Is he?" Emma blurts out before she can stop herself causing the three women she's standing with turn to stare at her with varying degrees of annoyance and amusement. Sybil giggles. It's not Emma's fault she's getting a bad vibe from him!

—

Lord and Lady Grantham sit opposite each other in the middle of the table. From Lady Grantham's right, it's Sir Richard, Lady Mary, Mrs Crawley, Lady Edith and Lady Rosamund until Lord Grantham and on his right, it's his mother then Captain Crawley, Miss Swire, Emma and Sybil.

Emma is quite happy with her seat as she knows Sybil and Miss Swire is very kind and non-judgmental; Emma likes her even if she prefers Captain Crawley to be with someone else. Someone Emma notices him glancing over to at some point during dinner.

"So, you are a nurse now?" Miss Swire kindly asks Emma.

She startles at being spoken to. "Uh… yes. I er used to be a maid here but I wanted to train as a nurse, to challenge myself I suppose and well do something with my life if that doesn't sound too selfish."

Miss Swire smiles. "Not at all. It is commendable."

Emma looks at Mr Lang concerned as he enters, the man looks terrified. The Dowager refuses the sauce Mr Lang offers after Mr Carson has served her. Emma hears her talking to her son about Thomas though the man doesn't sound happy about the idea that Thomas is back and working in the Hospital.

Mr Lang walks around Mr Carson, past Lord Grantham, who Mr Carson is serving, to serve Lady Rosamund. Mr Carson angrily hisses at him to get behind him and he and Mr Lang switch places and Mr Lang serves Lord Grantham the sauce. Mr Lang continues down the table to Lady Rosamund despite having already served her.

"Thank you, but I already have some." She says politely.

"No, no. Give that to me." Mr Lang tries to hand Mr Carson the sauce, but Mr Carson drops it and it spills all over Lady Edith, who stands up in shock. "I-I do apologise, my lady. I- Mr Lang, get a c—" Mr Carson seizes up.

Mrs Crawley immediately stands. The entire table stands up to help Mr Carson, well everyone except the Dowager.

"Carson? Carson, what's the matter?" Lady Grantham exclaims.

Lady Mary stands behind Mrs Crawley's chair as said woman sits him down. "Carson, it's all right. Everything will be fine."

As they all, that is if you don't count the Dowager and Sir Richard, crowd around him, Lord Grantham loosening Mr Carson's collar, Mrs Crawley turns to Lady Edith, "Edith, go with Branson and fetch Major Clarkson. I'll telephone and explain what's happened."

"What about my dress?" Lady Edith complains. Emma sends her an irritated look; this was really not the time!

"Edith! We'll get you a coat! Come." Lady Grantham says dragging her middle child out of the room. Sybil and Emma step forward to help due to their training.

"Sybil and Emma will know what to do until the doctor comes." Lady Mary says to Mrs Crawley.

"You'll find there's never a dull moment in this house." The Dowager remarks to Sir Richard as Mrs Hughes walks into the room. Emma then sees Ethel, Anna, Daisy, Miss O'Brien and Gemma at the end of the room watching.

"Lady Sybil and I will take him upstairs. Nurse Byrne will show us the way, please." Captain Crawley decides as he and Sybil grab Mr Carson's arms.

"Of course," Emma says. She watches Mr Carson's face closely, trying to gather anything else about what is going on with him.

"I can help." Lady Mary says.

"No, let me. I know what I'm doing." Sybil says to her sister.

Still rather incapacitated, Mr Carson still protests. "I'm sure that's not necessary, my lady."

"It's not milady now, Carson. It's Nurse Crawley." Captain Crawley, Sybil and Emma guide Mr Carson out of the room.

—

It turns out that Mr Carson is not having a heart attack and just simply needs to relax and rest. It seems Mrs Hughes is going through a trial to keep him in bed.

Time continues and Emma can't seem to find the time to talk to Mr Branson since his proposal though she's secretly grateful as she's not sure what to say to him if she did have a chance considering how awkward she feels around him now.

One day Emma sees Thomas and Lieutenant Courtenay getting closer when she spots Thomas reading Lieutenant Courtenay's post to him. As Emma watches them, she sees Lieutenant Courtenay pat Thomas's knee and Thomas grasps his hand back. She smiles sadly at the sight, thinking how, due to the time period, Thomas can't be truly open with who he is. She decides to leave them alone.

Emma is in the Exercise Yard with Thomas helping Lieutenant Courtenay learn to walk on his own with a cane without being able to see. They have set up a few chairs so he can figure out how to judge the space in front of him when walking. It reminds Emma of her life in the future when she would see this man and his wife taking walks and the wife always had a stick out in front of her to judge the surface.

Thomas walks in front of him. "That's it. That's right, sir. If you move the stick fast enough, you don't have to slacken your pace."

Emma walks behind. "And check the width of the space as well as any possible obstruction."

"Lieutenant Courtenay!" Major Clarkson approaches. "Well done. You're making good progress."

"Thanks to my saviours," Courtenay says. Emma smiles and Thomas salutes the major.

"So, you'll be pleased to hear that we're all agreed that it's time for you to continue treatment elsewhere," Clarkson says. What?

Courtenay voices this, "What?"

"At Farley Hall." Clarkson continues unfazed. "You're not ill anymore. All you need is time to adjust to your condition, and the staff at Farley can help with that."

"But, sir, these two are helping me here."

"Nurse Byrne and Corporal Barrow are not trained in specialist care." Clarkson dismisses. Emma frowns at that. They're trying their best!

"Please. Don't send me away. Not yet." Courtenay begs.

"Sir, surely we—" Clarkson shoots Thomas a look.

"Lieutenant, you must know that every one of our beds is needed for the injured and dying from Arras. Mm?" Clarkson pats Courtenay on the arm. "Corporal, I'll see you in my office."

—

Sybil and Emma stand outside the office that Major Clarkson and Thomas are in but they can only hear muffled voices and it's only when Major Clarkson picks up his voice, do they hear what is being said. Sybil had found her standing worriedly outside the door and she explained what had happened and now Sybil has joined her in her worry.

"I will not leave wounded soldiers freezing or sweating under canvas because one junior officer is depressed!" Clarkson yells and Sybil takes this opportunity to knock on the door. "Yes!"

Sybil enters with Emma right behind her. "I thought you may want to know what I think."

"Why should I?" Clarkson spits. "Nurse Crawley, I may not be your social superior in a Mayfair ballroom, but in this Hospital, I have the deciding voice. Please help him prepare his belongings. He leaves first thing in the morning."

Emma pushes in then. "But won't this cause him distress?" Clarkson's sharp eyes turn to her but she continues. "You heard him; he's made attachments here."

"I've made my decision."

—

It's horrible when Emma learns that she was right about it causing him distress. She discovers, during one of her rounds, Lieutenant Courtenay with cut wrists, lying completely still with a pool of blood gathered on the floor. She rushes out of the Ward to sound the alarm about what has happened.

It is later on once the news has spread that Emma goes to find Thomas who is crying in one of the corridors. She sits next to him and gathers him in her arms so that his head is in between her head and shoulder. She simply holds him as he sobs, not saying a word.

"He must've smuggled a razor into his bed. There was nothing to be done." Major Clarkson notes as they gather in the Exercise Yard.

"It's because we ordered him to go," Sybil says.

"We don't know that." Mrs Crawley argues.

"Yes, we do." Emma counters.

"This is a tragedy; I don't deny it. But I cannot see what other course was open to me. We have no room for men to convalesce here and Farley is the nearest house I can send them to." Clarkson explains what they already know.

"There is a solution and it's staring us in the face…" Mrs Crawley says.

"Downton Abbey…" Emma realises.

Clarkson scoffs. "Would they ever allow it?" A revelation occurs to Sybil and Clarkson. "Or even consider it?"

"I think they would. After this, I think they can be made to." Sybil declares.

"It's worth a try," Emma says, agreeing with her.

—

It is a busy day when the wounded arrive in the Hospital trucks. Everyone is working hard to direct and settle them.

Emma is inside guiding a wounded man to his bed when she notices Mr Branson standing next to her. She feels herself blush slightly at how close he is.

"Don't worry I'm not here to talk." He speaks.

She almost feels bad for the relief that he hasn't come to talk about anything else but she tries to deny it. "Oh, n-no I…"

He smiles at her almost fondly. "It's all right." He lifts up a basket in one of his hands that she hadn't noticed before. "Her Ladyship had Mrs Patmore made this up for Lady Sybil so she could eat something during the day. But I can't find her, do you know where she is?" He speaks.

"Oh, I dunno, somewhere. Anyway, I won't have time to find her. Though I doubt she'll eat it, she'll be too busy." Emma turns back to settling the wounded officer.

Captain Crawley enters and approaches his mother who is directing and placing wounded, some on stretchers, along with Major Clarkson. Captain Crawley then seems to wander aimlessly among the beds in shock.

Mr Branson snaps her out of her observations. "Is it what you thought it would be? "

"No. No, it's more horrible and crueller than I could've imagined, but I feel like I am actually making more of an impact for the first time in my life, and that must be a good thing." Emma says to him without looking directly at him for too long. "Captain Crawley," she calls to the lost man, "are you busy?"

Captain Crawley snaps out of his daze, "No, of course not." He helps a man into bed by lifting his legs onto it.

"So, you wouldn't go back to the safety bubble? To your life before the war? Being in service?" Mr Branson asks her.

Emma can't look directly at him as she speaks, "No. No, I can never go back to that world again. Not back to being a servant." She goes about her work, leaving him behind her.

—

Bad news reaches them as it turns out that Mrs Patmore's nephew has been killed. It seems every man of the young generation is being killed. The woman is inconsolable for a while, it makes Emma wonder if there is more to it.

"Turns out he's been hovering around as he hoped to see more of him, but I've had to turn him away," Anna explains as they talk about Mr Mosely in the Servants' Hall.

"Well, it's only fair to him, isn't it. You don't like him." Gemma says, inadvertently hinting to he who shall not be named.

"Mmmh," Emma replies, "in other news can I tell you I'm so glad not to be eating with them upstairs tonight," Emma says diverting the conversation before Anna gets upset with the thought of Mr Bates. She's also glad not to be there as Sybil and Mrs Crawley are pitching the Convalescent home idea to the family and Emma doesn't want to be there for the argument.

"Why?" Ethel interrupts. "Seemed quite entertaining last time."

"Yes, Mr Carson overworking himself and then collapsing is the height of entertainment." Emma snaps. Ethel rolls her eyes and picks up her magazine and walks out of the room.

Anna and Gemma then stand to clean the Dining room as William then walks in, dressed in full uniform.

"William?" Anna says when she spots him. "What a treat to see you. And how smart you look. Welcome."

"Thanks." He speaks. Emma sends him a kind smile despite the dread she feels seeing him in the uniform.

"Supper won't be long. We're just going up to clear the Dining room." Gemma says.

"I would help but like you, I've got a new job now." Emma jokes. Anna and Gemma smile at him and leave.

"So, still full of the joys of warfare?" Mr Lang questions from where he has been sitting, reading.

"I'm not sorry to be part of it, Mr Lang, and I can't pretend I am." Emma couldn't help but feel like he shouldn't be but she doesn't say anything cause she knows it won't do anything.

"Oh, yes, you're part of it. Like a metal cog is part of a factory, or a grain of sand is part of the beach." Mr Lang says.

"It's all right, Mr Lang. I understand." Do you? "And I'm not saying I'm important, or ought like that. But I believe in this war. I believe in what we're fighting for and I want to do my bit." William says determinedly.

"Then God help you."

—

Emma soon learns that William has got a lot to say.

""If you had taken another minute to make up your mind, sir, we'd all have marched over the cliff."" The servants laugh at William's tale while Emma just watches him sadly, this young boy has no idea what is coming.

Emma decides to walk away at this point. Away from this hoe and positivity. She heard William talking behind her. "And I'll tell you something else as well—"

—

The next day Sybil tells Emma it has worked and her parents have given the okay for Downton to become a Convalescent home. It is now clear that Downton Abbey has not escaped the war and will now be able to do its bit.