Chapter 09
He dreamed. And he knew it was a nightmare.
Paul, he thought. My name is Paul. But I am also…
The truth was horrifying. He wasn't alone anymore. Would never be again, probably only in death.
Death. He had tried to kill himself. But… couldn't. Instead, he slept and even there he wasn't whole anymore.
As he dreamt, images came and went. He dreamt of his daughter; the child he would have sacrificed to Cerberus had Kahlee Sanders not helped him. Kahlee… He had to go to her. He didn't know why, but he had to. Maybe she could help. Maybe she could kill him…
But no, she was in danger.
Her message came back to him often in the dream.
"Paul, I need your help. Meet me on Omega. I'm sending you the location, please hurry. It's urgent."
Her tone had not been right, in fact… She had not sounded afraid, her voice flat and monotonous, as if she had no fear nor fervour for life. But perhaps it was the fear itself that did that, that robbed her of all emotion. Perhaps she was facing her own death as he was…
Death. He dreamt of Liselle, of her naked body pressed against his, their minds one in their shared passion. Oh, how he loved her. She had been such a sweet delight, such an unexpected light in is life. Her embrace… that he would never feel again. Even if she had survived his abduction, he would never dare come close to her again. Not like this.
Then why are you going to Sanders? The question was urgent, like lighting streaking across his thoughts and it was… his thought. Why are you risking her life? Something had been off about that message. The way she said it, the way she spoke. Something wasn't right!
Paul roused himself, clawing to consciousness as he focussed on the small craft he was in. Memories rushed back to him in a flood as his own sense of self took hold. He remembered the attack on the Cerberus base, how it had given him an opportunity to escape the torture. Yet, even then the… The minds had a hold of him. He had recognized that he needed to die even then but… somehow they conquered his own self-control and feigned confusion when turians found him. The poor beasts took pity on him, helped him off the station and what did he do?
He murdered all of them.
God have mercy, he thought when he realised that he was perhaps a day away from Omega where the others had set up a meeting with Kahlee. I have to… He reached for the console but then his hand went slack and the world turned back to his dreams where his mind was dominated by one thought and that was to protect Kahlee. He had tried once before to protect her. When he had come to consciousness the first time after killing the turians, he had realised that he was on his way to council space. He had realised that he was only one relay jump away from the Citadel. There was no telling what the reapers had planned to do with him there but it could not have been good. He had managed to steer the shuttle away and plot a course to a desolate area of space, hoping against all hope that his fuel would simply run out and strand him out there. It would have been a slow death but it would have been death. And it would have taken him away from Kahlee and the threat he posed to her life.
Kahlee… The urge to protect her grew stronger in his dreams, the need to be near her. They had had a hard time controlling him, he was such a strong individual. An unexpected surprise.
An avatar, a perfect blend of organic and synthetic life.
He could not end his life. He could not wish for death or seek it out. No, she was the key to keeping him alive. And they knew. They knew more of her now. They knew of his spawn, his daughter and the school where she worked. The strategic importance it held. Oh yes, they knew all and they would use it against him.
They would use her against him.
Kai Leng had known that Aria's people had a strategic session on how they planned to take Grayson but when he showed up to be a part of it, he had been told to wait for his instructions. It was clear that they weren't going to allow him near the man. It didn't faze him; he had come to Omega prepared for that. And, he didn't much care for their plans because he knew that they would fail. They had no idea what Grayson had become which meant that they would underestimate him.
Him, Kai Leng thought with a snort. In his opinion, Grayson wasn't human anymore.
The Illusive Man had told him that, if possible, he must try and extract the body but without help, that wouldn't be possible. He was smart enough to understand that, as rough as Aria's people looked, they weren't inefficient. He had noticed that the asari that had accompanied the doctor seemed to be among Aria's closest confidants. It was very hard to get information on her but from what he understood, she had been with the team capturing Sanders as well. Her partner however, the doctor, was another matter. As soon as he enquired about her, his colleagues were able to give him a complete if short dossier on Dr Abigail Gable. She had joined with Shepard's crew after they deflected. He still felt as if she was an avenue to be explored but it couldn't happen by force. Maybe he could use her to coerce her partner Asura…
The plans milled around in his head, and he knew that he was running out of time. Aria had had the decency to let him know that Grayson was perhaps a day away but she only said that she would inform him when the deed was done. He didn't trust her to do it. If that was what she wanted, she would just have involved him from the start. No, he was going to have to be creative and at the very least, he decided that following Asura would allow him to be where the action was.
He only had one job.
Trailing back to his apartment, deciding to grab a meal before he started staking out the veterinarian's apartment, he resolved to get all his stuff. He doubted that he would return to the small hell hole with its alien stink and amorous neighbours. He had not enjoyed anything of staying here but it had been a useful location and it had given him the time to observe everybody's interaction with each other. Still, it was with no measure of relief that he opened the apartment for the last time and…
A wave of biotic energy pulled him into the room and flung him towards the furthest wall. His panic and surprise lasted only for a second as he was already reaching for the swords at his sides before he smashed into the wall. The impact wasn't as hard as he expected though which gave him the split second that he needed to find his feet and dash towards where his instincts told him the attack came from. He didn't panic, didn't flounder about, didn't hesitate. He was sure that he could outlast any biotic in a fight and…
Another field hit him, this time holding him up. It was faster than he had thought it would be.
An asari…
His senses caught up with what was happening around the room and, for the first time in a while, Kai Leng was… surprised.
"Lawson," he said as a figure stepped out from the small restroom the apartment had. "This is unexpected."
She was just as he remembered her, her sculped body wrapped in the tightest whore suit she could fit into, though she had discarded some wrappings on the floor. Her piercing blue eyes were bright as ever, her hair dark and flowing to her shoulders.
"Yes," she said with a cold smile. "I'm sorry for the welcome but you're not the kind of man I want near me when you are surprised. Hello Kai Leng." Her tone was pleasant, making him smile.
"I didn't realise we're on polite terms," he said. "Have you come to finish me before I can get close to you? Strike another blow at the hand that fed your sister," he liked that her eyes narrowed at that, "or have you seen the error of your ways and come to me to put in a plea on your behalf with the Illusive Man."
Lawson snorted at that. "Please," she said, her body still aglow with biotics. She could certainly hold him for longer than the average human as her strength was on par with most asari's as he understood. "If I wanted to make a plea I'd go to him myself. And if I wanted to kill you, we wouldn't be having this conversation." Her eyes glowed suddenly as he felt the biotics around him tighten. "But word of advice. You mention my sister again and I'll tear you apart."
He smiled at her and inclined his head as much as the biotics allowed him.
"Fair enough," he said. "Then I am curious as to why you are gracing me with your company. Can you put me down? I promise to be civil. I might even be able to offer you a drink."
She hesitated for only a fraction of a second before he dropped out of the air. Kai Leng gripped his swords and then… slowly sheaved them, watching her the whole time. She was smiling at him again and moved as he did, always keeping a certain amount of space between them.
I can shoot you in the head from here, Ice Queen.
"Drink?" He asked and moved to the drinks' cabinet. "They don't keep anything short of passable alien swill here, but I did some shopping of my own though I don't have any wine. Sake?" Miranda held up her hand.
"You know I don't drink when on a job," she said. "But please, have some for yourself. This place is enough to drive anybody to the bottle." He could not help but chuckle a little at this and purposefully turned his back on her to show that he was planning on being agreeable.
"I will drink to that," he said. "I'll be glad to be done with this place." He poured himself a healthy helping of drink and turned, leaning against the counter. By the way she was studying him he knew she had picked up on the fact that he was drinking with his off hand, his other lingering casually within in easy reach of his pistol. "To what do I owe the pleasure? I have to say Lawson, you really caught me by surprise. I didn't think you had this kind of audacity."
Miranda snorted at his choice of words. She reached a threadbare couch and, after some consideration, sat down slowly, looking as if she was about to hold audience.
"Audacity is hardly the word," she said. "We are acquaintances you and I. And, from my point of view, there's no hard feelings between us."
His smile was thin as he calculated the distance between them and how quickly he could cross it.
A normal biotic, sure… but not with her, the variables are too many. And she was very alert. He wasn't going to pull one on her quickly.
"The Illusive Man might disagree," he said. "You turned your back on us."
Miranda's face was calculated, so she might have expected this response.
"My disagreement was with him," she said. "And even there, from my side there are no hard feelings. He had put me in that situation. He had given me a suicide mission to complete. If anything, the hard feelings should be on my side."
"You know what you signed up for when you were assigned to Shepard. You volunteered for that."
Miranda waved him off. "Not quite," her words were crisp. "I volunteered to try and bring someone back from the dead. Assigning me to Shepard post resurrection was his idea. If he had simply implanted her with a control chip as I…" She trailed off. "We are getting off topic."
Kai Leng felt himself smile with genuine mirth. "No hard feelings, eh?"
The woman across the room didn't blink. "The thing is Kai; you don't know what it's like. You didn't see what I saw. Not even he did. I made a judgement call beyond the Omega-4-Relay. And yes, perhaps I was swayed by Shepard. He told us that Shepard was the answer. Can you blame me for starting to believe in her?"
Kai shrugged and took a sip of his drink. "I couldn't care less to be honest," he said. "Fact is, you're out and I am still in. And you talk about no hard feelings? Well, acquaintance to acquaintance, there's plenty of that on the other side. He gave you everything. And you turned your back on him." He took another sip of his drink. "Honestly I don't know why he was so surprised that you would. You did the same thing to your father."
She shifted ever so slightly, the only indication that his words hit home.
"As I've said," Miranda spoke coldly. "We are getting off topic."
Kai continued to smile. "It's not as if you've informed me what it is," he pointed out. "There is very little you and I have to say to each other these days. Unless…" His smile broadened to a grin. "You want to surrender yourself."
"Don't be ridiculous," Miranda said. "And you are not going to hand me in because I have a proposition for you."
He was intrigued but didn't say anything.
"I can't imagine that there is anything that you have that I want," he said. "Nor anything that I am busy with that requires your expert touch."
Miranda was smiling in a way he didn't like.
"Paul Grayson," she said and waited.
He didn't like what was happening on his face, nor the satisfaction that he saw on hers. She was smiling now and it was that wretched little knowing smile she had that made her look so superior.
I'll slice it off your face one day bitch.
He schooled his shock and anger back and tried to replace it with a smile of his own. "Now I am even more surprised," he said. "Though I'm guessing I should have expected it, considering that you have friends here."
"Hardly," Miranda said. "What gives you that idea?"
"Dr Gable," Kai Leng ventured. "You know her."
Her face became schooled again. "And you do too?"
Kai Leng shook his head slowly. "No, but I'm familiar with everybody involved in Aria's little sting to apprehend him. She's the captive's attending physician. And she seems to be rather close to Aria. I was wondering if I could use that to get to Sanders." He watched her expression but this time she revealed nothing, either because there was nothing to reveal or because she was trying very hard not to. It was always difficult to tell with Miranda.
"Don't bother," Miranda said, sounding smug and indulgent. "Aria's not that fond of them. She sees them as a means to an end."
"So would I," Kai Leng countered but Miranda chuckled.
"A useless end," she said. "Kai, I am offering you my assistance. I want to help you get Paul Grayson."
What he hated was with how much conviction she said it. Miranda Lawson had always been hard to read and he didn't lie to himself about how efficient she had been in the field. It hadn't surprised him when he heard that she had been assigned to do the impossible. Hell, even he had believed that she'd be able to do it, though he had cringed at the budget. There had been a lot they could have done with all those credits and he wasn't sure whether it had all been worth it. He wasn't even sure whether the Illusive Man still thought it, though he was hardly privileged to the man's thoughts.
"Why?" Kai Leng asked. "You were never involved with him."
"Not… quite true," Miranda said. "Let's say… How can I put it? This is something I want to finish. I'm not completely done with Cerberus, even though they think they are with me. I want to help you with this."
"Bullshit," Kai Leng interrupted her. "You're not that charitable. Or sentimental."
She paused then smiled. "True. But, if I help you, I'll have access to him and he's pivotal to something I'm working on."
That made him interested. "What, you mean you're actually working and not hiding in some hovel somewhere?"
She laughed. "Do I look like someone on the run? I have my own allies, just as you have yours. I can help you with this… Then perhaps we can become allies."
Ah, he said. She's trying to curry favour.
It wasn't going to work, not with him, but he wondered how desperate she was. He studied her again, more closely this time and allowed his concentration to slip away from all plans to attack her. He simply looked at her and then he saw it.
The tighter look around her eyes, her somewhat leaner figure. Even her clothes, though still fine, hardly had that polished look it had before. For the first time since he's met her, he realised that she looked less than perfect. She simply looked tired. Life, it seemed, was quite hard outside the fold of the Illusive Man's embrace.
"What are you working on?" He asked. "And with whom."
Miranda shook her finger at him. "I'll discuss the what not the who," she said. "I'm working on indoctrination and reversing the process. There are quite a few privately funded labs willing to assist me on this but… Well, they don't have the Illusive Man's resources."
Kai Leng became more suspicious. "And how do you know about Grayson's condition?" he asked. "Even the turians couldn't figure that one out."
Miranda chuckled. "They haven't seen what I saw," she said. "And you can mark my words, after things went south on that station, they're trying hard to catch up. Some of their best people were killed there during Aria's little stunt. They want answers."
He chuckled, but he was thinking fast now.
"Are you telling me you are working with the turians?"
Her smile was grim. "I didn't say that." She pointed out. "And you won't be able to figure it out Kai. It's hardly important right now. Do you need help with Grayson?"
He did. He had been thinking about it when he came back to his apartment, he couldn't deny it to himself.
"What kind of help do you think you can give me?" he said. "What makes you think you have more access than I do at this stage?"
Miranda smile was thin. "Dr Gable," she said. "She isn't a contact you can use but I can. I can get you information, details on where this is going to go down. I can even try and make contact with Sanders and Anderson. Have you managed to succeed?"
Kai had to admit that he hadn't, but he said nothing.
"Seemed like a waste of energy," he pointed out. "The Illusive Man wants Grayson dead."
"And…" Miranda said. "He'd be really happy to have the body back as well. Trust me. That's what I would have wanted. Let me help you with this, then you can… get an extra win. This is a big job for one agent, and we don't know what we're dealing with."
Again, she was right, which was what made it so vexing. He could tell that she had rehearsed this. She wanted this badly, though he was a little surprised to hear that it was for research purposes.
"Let's pretend I'll say yes," Kai Leng said. "What makes you so sure that I won't betray you? That I won't just knock you over the head, let Aria deal with this herself, and take you back to the Illusive Man."
She was smiling again. "Because he doesn't want me as badly as he wants this breach dealt with, I can tell you that," she pointed out. "And you will never get the chance to touch me." Her voice dropped as the intensity of her gaze increased. It made him shiver, he couldn't help himself and for a moment, the thrill of trying beckoned to him.
But her proposition was alluring. And… When they had Grayson, if he killed him. Then what was to stop him from trying to touch her then.
Kai Leng sat back and smiled, feeling content with his current circumstances.
"Then I guess I shouldn't try," he said. "Alright Lawson, I'll confess that your offer has its appeal. And, you know as well as I do that the Illusive Man will tolerate no failure in this. I'll accept your help. But getting you what you need is not a given."
She sat back nodding. "Fair enough," she said. "You have your priorities, I have mine." She stood up, stretched and for just a second he considered rushing and killing her right there. But that would have been a waste of resources.
"Let me see what I can find out about this take down."
It was as if she had read his thoughts because for the first time since he found her in his apartment, she turned her back on him and simply walked to the door, goading him. Kai Leng smiled and decided that he was smarter than that, so he poured himself another drink and simply enjoyed the view.
They walked home together in silence, enjoying the moment and each other's company. Abby, who tended to be an over thinker, had managed to tell herself to stop thinking and simply enjoy the moment. Asura had stayed with her for most of the day after they returned from Aria and had prompted her to close early so that they could get some rest before the next day and whatever it brought. Days were really a rough term. Abby had started to think of her waking hours on Omega was 'cycles' rather than days. She kept track of dates of course, but unless it was for Asura's business, they had little use for them. Which was an odd, disconnected way of looking at the world. Abby had missed the routine and at first had tried very hard to stick to a specific schedule but in the past couple of weeks she had learned to relax and simply enjoy the moment. Asura had also helped her realise that, in the time that her disease started to take a hold of her again, she didn't have to push herself too hard.
And of course, the less that she pushed herself, the longer she was able to go without melding. She had learned a kind of self-care on Omega and under the care of Asura that she had not managed on Earth. To asari, tomorrow was simply another opportunity to finish what couldn't be done today and Abby wondered sometimes whether this attitude came with their longevity.
Asura's exploration of mental health and stability also stemmed from the asari's own need to reconcile with all that ad happened to her in the past. The death of her family, her manipulation by Lenelle, her encounter with the Justicar Phora. Abby had learned to listen to her and support her as she meditated on the events, discussing them with her as the horrors of what she had done was occasionally shared when they melded. They were truly capable of carrying each other's sorrows and Abby understood now why people said that relationships with asari were truly fulfilling.
Despite all the drama of the past few days, she was still very happy.
Squeezing Asura's hand, Abby found herself looking around them as they walked, wondering about what Miranda had told her that morning. She wondered whether someone like Kai Leng would be able to blend into the crowd here on Omega or whether he would stand out like a sore thumb because he was human and Cerberus.
Not that that was an oddity these days, she thought darkly. There was an increasing number of the agents around though they kept mostly to themselves and out of the areas that Abby frequented. They had stationed themselves near the one floor's docks, several sections away from her, where they would have easy access to the various shuttles that came in now almost daily. Asura had told her that they came in from the Omega-4-Relay which made her very uneasy. She hadn't imagined that Cerberus would try and salvage the base even after Jane had destroyed it.
I will not let fear compromise who I am. Abby remembered those words from the game, when her Shepard had been telling the Illusive Man that she was going to destroy the human reaper. In her game, Miranda had been there and, from what Abby understood, this Miranda had been there as well and it had been a turning point in her relationship with Cerberus.
Abby realised that it had been an honour to witness that interaction, a glimpse into the choices and lives of those around her. She wished that she could tell them that she had shared in that but she was too scared to.
"There is someone at our door," Asura said suddenly as they came to their apartment. "Look." She said the words, but she was already pushing Abby behind her, her attention focusing on the creature she thought might be an assailant. Abby pulled herself away from Asura and caught sight of the bundle of rags sitting beside their door. The figure looked up and straightened, human hands balling into fists.
"By the goddess," Abby breathed. "Jack!" The veterinarian pushed herself past Asura and rushed forward. She didn't see the person's face yet but she just knew. The hands relaxed and came up, pushing away the hood that had been covering her face.
Jack, aka Subject Zero, smiled at Abby though she stood her ground instead of moving forward. Abby slowed when she reached her a little unsure of whether her embrace would be welcome. Even Jack suddenly looked a little unsure as the older woman stopped in front of her.
Abby was immediately struck by how different she looked.
Jack's hair had grown considerably and was now long enough to be tied back into a tiny little stub of a ponytail. Her hair was dark, darker than Abby remembered but somehow not completely black. She still kept her sides shaved, her one line of tattoos standing out but somehow they didn't feel as prominent as they had before. Abby found herself reaching out to touch her head then stopped, reminding herself who this person was.
"Oh, come on Doc," Jack said suddenly. "Let's just fucking hug and get it over with."
She didn't sound as antagonistic as her words were and it made Abby grin. She opened her own arms and allowed Jack to step into her embrace and was a little surprised and secretly elated by how quickly the younger woman did it. Jack was about a head and shoulders shorter than she was but her embrace was tight as she pressed herself against Abby. The woman allowed herself to wrap her arms around Jack and returned her tight hug. They stood like that for a few seconds before Jack's comfort level seemed to be reached. She relaxed her grip which prompted Abby to let her go immediately. Instead of pulling away from her though, Jack stepped back a little, looked up at her face and then took her hands, her brown eyes sharp as she took them in. Something about their appearance made her smile and it was a gentle look on her face. She squeezed Abby's hands before she let them go and didn't look up immediately.
"You look well Doc," she said.
Abby liked to hear that.
"So do you," she said and remembered Asura. "It's so good to see you, Jack." She noticed a slight tinge of colour appear on the biotics cheeks as she smiled sheepishly.
"Yeah," she said. "Well." She sniffed and straightened. "I hope you didn't drag me all the way here just to say that."
Shaking her head quickly, Abby looked back to Asura. "Ah, no," she said. "No actually. Ahm… Asura, let's go inside." She knew that Jack must have seen her partner but so far she had not acknowledged her at all. The ardat yakshi had given them their distance as they greeted but stepped closer now, her hand outstretched as she offered it to Jack.
"Jack," she said. "Thank you for coming…" The look the biotic gave her was nothing short of a death stare.
"Don't get cute with me bitch," Jack snapped. "You were a part of that fuckery Shepard pulled. I ain't forgiven you for that."
Asura, surprisingly, handled her ire very well. She inclined her head and walked past them, opening the door to their apartment. Abby found herself reaching out to touch Jack's shoulder, because she understood her reaction to Asura. It had taken her a while to process what had happened. Jack wasn't the only one that must have felt betrayed.
They went into the apartment and while Abby took Jack through to their lounge, Asura went into the kitchen.
"Can I get you anything to drink?" The asari asked. "Abby?"
"Beer," Jack said. "Now, you don't have to stand on niceties. What's up?" Abby wished that they could catch up first but she also realised that Jack hadn't come halfway across the galaxy for a beer. She glanced at Asura who made eye contact with her and subtly inclined her chin, signalling that she should do the talking.
"I'll let Asura join us, because she is going to have to join in. And," she decided to try and smooth things over between the two of them. "She was the one who said I should call you."
Jack's surprise was clear. "Well fuck me," she said. "Whatever the fuck for?" It dawned on Abby that she had not heard the biotic cuss a lot till now.
"Kahlee Sanders is here," she said. "On Omega."
Jack blinked slowly but her eyes began to narrow. "Yeah?" she said. "Last I heard she said she was going to lay low for a bit. She upped and left the academy a few days ago. Just… fucked off. Which isn't like her, I can tell you that. Not a word. Nothing. I nearly went and looked for her."
Asura brought them their drinks, a beer for Jack and some wine for her and Abby.
"She was working with a team of turians to take down a few Cerberus operations," the asari said. "Or, that's what I understand from Aria. Did you hear about that?"
Jack's expression was a tornado of activity.
"No," she said. "But you are going to tell me all about it…"
The End of Chapter 09
AN: I need a Beta for grammar and punctuation. Someone with time, who I can send the paragraphs to as I type them. If you are interested to help me, please PM me. Thanks.