Chapter 2–Fighting Children

Like they said, Billy was here in the morning. First thing in the morning, in fact. Instead of my alarm clock, it was the repeated ringing of the doorbell. I groaned, rubbing my face as I stumbled down the stairs.

I fiddled with the front door blinds, pulling on them with an open glare and met Billy's wide grin set from ear to ear. I looked past him, seeing Jake down by his car, smoking.

"Hello, Bella. Fine morning today, isn't it?"

"Come on in. Dad will be up soon, I'm sure."

I wrapped my robe around myself tighter and stumbled into the kitchen to turn on the coffee.

"Ah, well I didn't just come to talk to Charlie."

"Hm. Sure you didn't."

The front door squeaked open, and a fresh whiff of cigarette smoke slithered through the air. It filled me with a distinct fury that was only enabled when Jacob Black was present. One that made it impossible to contain. Especially in the morning. I took a deep breath.

"Ah, yes. I just love the stench of misery and despair in the morning. Don't you, Billy?"

I ignored Jake as I walked past to give Billy a cup of steaming coffee and returned to the counter.

"Emily made muffins."

He set down a mounding plate of blueberry muffins beside me. Although they truly smelled heavenly, I shrugged.

"How nice. Too bad you tainted them." I twisted around to lean against the counter, sipping on my coffee.

Jake was standing surprisingly close to me. Enough that I had to look up to see his scalding glare. It brought a smile to my lips.

"Tainted?"

"Yes," I nodded once with sharp affirmation and extended a singular finger to poke at his chest. "You reek."

He sighed, rolling his eyes before sitting in the chair beside his father, who was pretending not to hear. "Aren't you just a ray of sunshine?"

I glared at him, having nothing else to say on the matter. It wasn't two minutes later that I caved and grabbed a blueberry muffin. It was delicious, but I slowly picked at it for fear of being too loud. The silence that filled the air between the three of us was horrific, at best.

Billy whistled and cleared his throat. "So, I see we are off to the right foot. What are your plans today?"

"I'm leaving soon."

"I'm with Charlie."

Jake scoffed at her, gesturing for her to continue.

"Actually, I was talking to Bella, son."

A smug grin stretched across my face. "Thanks, Billy." I sighed, "Today I have only one true goal, and that's getting Charlie to go on a walk."

Billy outright laughed, a deep chuckle that rang throughout the kitchen. Jake was equally amused, but hid it behind a smirk.

"That's certainly a…goal," Billy remarked with raised brows.

As if called upon, Charlie's heavy footsteps clomped down the stairs. He was rubbing his eyes, hair a mess as it flopped awkwardly in every direction.

He glanced at Billy and continued to the coffee then stopped just a few feet short and did a double take, confusion twisting his expression.

"What're you doing here?"

"I heard you were going on a walk! Thought we might join."

That was something I didn't expect him to say at all. Charlie grumbled with dissatisfaction as he poured himself some coffee.

"I'm not going on a walk right now. I'd like to relax a bit if you don't mind."

Just as he raised the mug to his lips, I remembered my job and swiped the cup from him. Almost forgot.

"No, no. Not for you. You can have decaf."

Now he openly glared, his eyes flicking down to the mug in my hands.

"The nurse said nothing about that."

"Dad, you had heart surgery. No coffee for a few weeks. It's a personal precaution, even if I'm being too careful."

Charlie's lip curled in disgust and upset. "First the food, walks, and now no coffee?"

I simply stared at him with no sympathy for the whining man.

"Can I make my own decaf at least, or is that a personal precaution too?"

"Glad to see we are all in a good mood." Billy interjected, his voice was too chipper

Jake cleared his throat. "Well, I think it's my time to go—good to see you Charlie."

He moved to stand, but Billy gave him a severe expression with narrowed eyes. "I think you have time."

Charlie scratched at the back of his head, yawning. "No, don't feel like you need to stay, Jake. I don't need you all being up in my business everyday. I'm fine, promise."

Billy didn't appear to be phased in the slightest. "No, I think he will stay. Won't you?"

"Yep." Jake agreed, though the tension in his posture said otherwise.

Charlie and Billy walked far ahead down the road while Jake and I stayed behind. I didn't want to walk with him at all, but by his lingering presence I had already put it together that he was going to apologize for yesterday. The problem was that I didn't know if I was even sorry about yesterday at all.

His hands sat in his pockets while he wore another plain black shirt and jeans. They walked side-by-side with a healthy distance between the two of them.

"I'm sorry for being a dick yesterday."

"Save it, Jake. I know it was Billy who put you up to it."

Jake scoffed looking down at me. "No, he didn't."

"Mhm. Sure."

I sped up, hoping to catch up with Charlie and Billy just so I wouldn't have to be alone with Jake any longer.

"Bella," a jolt of electricity shot through my arm as warmth climbed up it. His fingers brushed against me as he reached out. The sensation brought an immediate lump to my throat. I looked up at him and knew the devastation on my face was the mirror to his. We both took a step away from one another, and I averted my eyes.

"It wasn't Billy's idea. I-I wanted to talk to you today. Say I'm sorry for a lot of things, but mostly just for yesterday. You were right."

My blood whooshed in my ears, making me question if I had heard him correctly.

"What?"

His brows pushed together. "About being a hypocrite. I wasn't thinking about you—when it came to the girls, I mean."

"Jake, no. You don't need to be considerate of me, I just don't want you intervening with what I choose to do with my own life." It was ripping me apart inside to see the growing sadness in his expression. He knew I was lying, because it hurt more than anything to see him with them.

He squeezed his eyes shut, nodding. When he opened them, they were clear of any turmoil. "Right, yeah. That's what I meant. I won't intervene if you want to…fall in love."

I guffawed at the ridiculous statement. "I think you're being a bit dramatic again, and jealous. You did this, not me."

His tongue rolled inside of his cheek, the sallow bags underneath his eyes dampened further by the declining mood of the conversation. "I know."

I felt bad then, and had the urge to reach out and comfort him. It was my skin that screamed at me to touch him again, anything that would repair the hurt that I knew sat inside the bottom pits of our hollowed out hearts. But in the end, this was his choice.

There was a reason that we tried to stay away from one another, and this was it. The moment we were alone it opened a chasm of memories as the ground crumbled beneath their feet. It was almost impossible not to fall into it again.

"I think we should catch up to them."

Jake didn't respond, but walked alongside. It was almost too close. I could feel the heat radiating from him. My heart felt like it was drowning in pools of sadness and my lungs were the only ones left to be filled. Would I die then? No. Because I never did before.

We didn't speak for the rest of the walk, and he left right after. No goodbye—no more apologies.

I deflated into the kitchen chair and put my head in my hands. First it would be a tidal wave of grief, then it would be the stress and obsession with everything that wasn't him. Then, finally, it would be over. Eventually.

How was I going to live here and be around him? My eyes leaked as I rubbed at them, trying to not think about the ever present question that demanded an answer

"Bella?"

Charlie's voice was too close for me to pretend that I wasn't upset, but I still tried anyway.

I swiped at the tears and cleared my throat before looking at him with a faux smile. "Hey, why're you up? You should be resting." My voice was thick with tears, and Charlie knew it.

"Bells…"

"Stop. It's nothing, really. Just emotional."

He gave me a sympathetic frown, and I knew that he understood all too well without me saying anything. Charlie walked over and gave me a long hug.

"My poor little girl. You know you'll always be little to me? Sometimes I look at you and I swear I see the six year old Bella, instead of the twenty-eight year old." He let out a chaste laugh as he sat in the chair across from me. "You have plenty of time. There are plenty more—"

"Fish in the sea," I sniffled.

"Exactly. I know you're trying to be strong for your old dad, but you don't have to be. I know that you think you have to protect me because of this," he pointed to his heart before waving his hand. "But don't worry. I'm strong. You don't have to stay here. You don't have to endure this, Bells."

If only he knew half of it.

"Actually, I do have to stay here." I ran a nervous hand through my hair, dreading the impending mess I was going to create.

Immediately Charlie picked up on her confession. His face filled with concern. "Tell me."

It was impossible for me to look at him, so I fixed my gaze on the center of the table as my fingers twisted in on themselves.

"I-uh…it's bad."

He took a deep, calming breath. "Okay, go ahead."

"I got fired six months ago from the newspaper and I've been working at a bookstore ever since. My apartment was shared with three other people, and we didn't even have that many beds. The things that I brought with me are the only things I have now. I've just been trying to finish my book." Tears welled in my eyes again. "So, it's not Jake. It's just…"

"Everything else. I get it." His hand reached out to give mine a quick squeeze.

"It's all terrible. And messy. I don't know what to do…"

"Well, you're gonna stay here and get back on your feet. Just like before, when…you know, that boy left. We are going to stick together. I've got your back, Bells."

I nodded, wiping my face on the back of my sleeve.

"I mean it. And we will…figure it out with Jake. I can tell Billy to lay off, and give me a break."

"No, no. I don't want that. I'm fine—Jake and I are fine. It's just hard, still for the both of us."

His brows pinched in sadness and confusion. "After all this time?"

"Yes."

"Then don't you think…"

"No. It's for the best."

I pulled down the long driveway I'd missed almost more than Charlie in those long six months. When I parked, two children appeared at the front screen door, pressing their noses up against it.

I grabbed the large plate that was filled with chocolate chip cookies and took one final breath of preparation. Before I got to the door, the children disappeared and a familiar beautiful face replaced it.

"Bella!"

Emily's sweet voice was one of awe and surprise. She threw open the door, ignoring the plate of cookies and wrapped her arms around me in a crushing embrace. My chest caved in with a mixture of happiness and sadness. Emily smelled like the wind when it flew through a grassy meadow, and it immediately reminded me of what home truly felt like. My closest, best friend since high school. She released me, smacking me lightly on the shoulder.

"You should have told me you were coming! The twins have made a disaster…"

Promptly, the two children made their appearance. Two girls—Iris and Lily with sprouty black hair grinned at her from behind Emily's legs. They had identical dimples, but each of them were an individual mixture of their parents. I waved to them, making them run away in a fit of giggles.

"Oh, stop. Charlie convinced me to finally let him have a bit of time from my constant fussing, so anything is better than babysitting him."

"Good on him. I've missed you." Emily's eyes twinkled with tears as she wrapped a gentle finger around one of my curls. "You don't age a day, I swear." I concealed my displeasure of the comment and simply smiled. Emily didn't seem to notice, her eyes flicking to the giant plate of chocolate chip cookies.

"Your plate back, plus some," I explained, after having held onto this particular piece of her cabin for the better part of the year.

Emily only shook her head with a roll of her eyes and let her inside, dragging her to the kitchen. "You are a lifesaver. I haven't baked a single thing all day and I'm worried when the boys get here, they'll devour my whole kitchen and maybe the table too."

I stopped in my tracks. My arm pulled on Emily's, and she turned to look at me with confusion.

"Um—the boys? I didn't know they'd be here. I don't want to interrupt."

Emily rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "Not Jake. Just the rest of them. Jake and Paul have some sort of personal meeting scheduled tonight. At least, that's what they told me earlier today." I knew what that meant. Copious amounts of alcohol and girls.

She eyed me, her head tilting to the side. "He said that he spent the morning with you and Charlie."

"Did he? I wasn't aware that we were publicly acknowledging one another's existence."

Emily sent me a scalding look. "You sound like him."

I scowled, folding my arms as I leaned against the counter to watch Emily at the stove.

"So, how are you all? I've missed my regular updates."

Emily smirked. "Good try—I'm not done."

"Can we talk about something else? Sorry, Charlie is just harping on about it more than usual."

"Because it's a big deal. It has been…how many years since you spoke for real?"

"Does that matter? We were only talking because of convenience, really."

Emily stopped stirring, giving me a mischievous smile. "That's not what I heard."

I leaned over on the counter, sniffing the delicious concoction that was wafting up from her pot. "Oh, really? Well, do tell since you already know."

"I know that he was jealous, and you fought. That's all Sam would tell me."

"That's because there's nothing else to it. That's what happened. We fought about what we always fight about."

The pained expression on Emily's face was full of sympathy, but I knew it was laced with a deeper hurt. Her and Jake's separation had put a rift in their friendship.

Emily sighed, blinking at the ceiling. "You already know how I feel about it all."

"Yes, I do. But it's our decision. It's been a long time, and we can talk without causing a whole drama fest. Aside from our crossing paths, we have nothing else left for one another."

Emily frowned at me, heavy disapproval set in her downturned mouth."I don't think that's—"

"Is that Bella? Bella!"

A chipper and strikingly familiar voice came up barreling behind me and wrapped their arms around my waist. It was a bone-crushing hug—the kind that made my insides squish to my spine.

"Oh my god you're here!"

I laughed, the sound came out as a wheeze. "Seth…can't…breathe!"

He let go of me immediately, almost dropping me on the floor. "Shit, sorry."

He spun me around. It took my eyes a moment to adjust to the movements before I could see. Seth's grin was stretched so wide on his face, I thought it might be hurting. He always looked so boyish, like his face never changed past his teen years.

He squished my own face in his hands as he fawned over me. "You look so different, you even smell different! How can you change so much?" His eyes narrowed, pulling my head down so I looked at my toes. "Is that some gray hair? Oh my god! I mean Jake saw you, and so did I, but that wasn't even close to good enough! You have to tell me everything you've done in Phoenix!"

I loved every word he said—couldn't soak it in enough, even. I couldn't stop the bubbles of laughter that rang out from me. Every time I saw him, I wished that he had been my little brother. It felt too right that he should be my real family.

"I will, I will." I swatted his hands away despite the deep frown he bore because of it. "Later, though. I was just stopping by."

Heavy footsteps interrupted their conversation as Embry and Quil came into the room. Their eyes lit up and it was immediately extinguished. I knew why—allegiance to Jake and all that—and settled for a gentle wave as they sat at the table.

"No, you can't leave yet, you just got here." Emily pouted, cracking my resolve to dust.

I conceded with a heavy, mirth-filled sigh. "Fine. I'll stay if you let me help you at least."

Emily sparkled with glee, nodding. I took over the vegetables, and set myself up to work beside my best friend. It only took a few minutes and I couldn't help the overpowering grief that always came with this. Because it felt normal. Delightfully normal. It was heartbreaking because this felt a million miles in the past, and it was the past.

Emily squealed, making me jump and almost chop off her finger again. Sam had snuck up on her, and was twirling her around. He dabbled kissed over her shoulders and the sides of her face.

I had forgotten how utterly enamored imprints could be with one another. Eugh, I shivered with disgust for the word. I preferred soulmates to be the term, no matter the clichés attached to it. That was one thing—well, more than one—that she hated about the supernatural world.

I looked away quickly and went back to my chopping.

"Hello, Bella." Sam's voice rumbled with a gooey affection that appeared only when he was with Emily.

I gave him a quick wave, expecting the same treatment from him as Quil and Embry. It was surprising when he leaned against the counter beside me and started to converse with his wife.

"Thank you for helping Emily with dinner." He said in a quieted tone while she went to search for the children. "She stretches herself too thin, and is too proud to ask for help. Just like she's too proud to tell you just how much she missed you."

His words brought tears to my eyes. "I don't think she realizes how much I missed her too."

I cleared my throat, a lump of emotion forming. Something about feeling important was always a double edged sword for me. It made me feel guilty for leaving in the first place, but also made me feel comforted that someone I held to great importance also put me in the same spot.

He clapped her on the shoulder. "Then don't be a stranger. Please."

I would have responded, but Emily came waltzing back into the kitchen with both twins in tow. Her eyes were wide and her mouth sat open in shock. I didn't have time to ask what was wrong before Paul came around the corner.

"I'm sorry," was all Emily had time to say before Jake followed quickly behind.

I froze in place, for only a moment. Then I acted as if nothing were amiss. The room fell into complete silence. I ignored all of them, training my eyes on Emily's wide ones.

"Sorry? I missed what you said. Did you want me to get plates out?"

Emily's shocked expression blinked rapidly as her mouth flopped open and shut. "Wh—yeah, of course." She shook her head, handing the children to Sam.

"Bella," Jake said from behind my back as I reached between the group to set plates on the table.

"Jacob."

I looked up under my lashes and caught Seth's expression of absolute shock and horror as his eyes bounced between them both.

"I thought you were with Charlie."

He took a seat beside Seth but his eyes stayed on me as I continued to place each plate down. I flashed him an innocent smile. "Yes, well I'm sure you know that he's his own person and can do his own things."

"And you're sure it's a good idea that he's alone?"

I reached over his shoulder and put his plate down in front of him with a sharp clunk. "Maybe you should mind your own business?" My tone dripped with irritation.

"Yeah, Bella's got it under control Jake. Now let's talk about something else. The weather, for example. It was really…rainy." Seth interjected in a rush.

Jake was turned towards me now, his arm hanging over the back of the chair as we met at eye level, for once. It was interesting how equal he appeared to me when he wasn't ominously looming over.

"I think that it is my business, actually. You weren't here when it happened."

I looked to Seth with a defeated shrug of acceptance "Is this becoming a trend? I sense a trend."

I took my seat on the other side of Seth. Emily sat beside me and reached for my hand underneath the table to give it a quick squeeze while everyone got their food. I started to get my own and reached for the same ladle as Jake.

Seth reached out for the entire bowl, picking it up as we glared at one another. "I-I've got it!"

He indecisively moved it back and forth between me and Jake before finally giving it to me. I gave him the most genuine grin I could muster.

Jake glared openly, before questioning me. "Trend? Clarify."

"Oh, you know, just how you're always butting head first into my life after years of not even a 'hi' or 'hello'? What—did you finally run out of girlfriends? Just thought you would resort back to the default?"

Quil choked and sprayed water. Jake leaned forward over Seth with fuming eyes dark as the night sky. "Now who's breaking the rules?"

I grit my teeth, knowing full and well what we had agreed. Don't talk about any of it, essentially. But I still leaned forward now too, and Seth leaned back.

"Sometimes it's necessary if someone broke the first rule and won't leave things alone."

"Says the one who keeps bringing up the past."

"The past! That's the present and the future! You're a hypocrite!"

"You've already said that." Jake shook his head, looking away from me. "Intolerable."

"And you've already said that," I replied in a bored tone.

"Alright, enough. There are children here." Sam snapped, shooting both of them a cautionary glance.

I straightened, and broke our locked gaze first. My face flamed at the realization of the spectacle we just made. The rest of the table erupted with sudden overlapping voices as the rest of them tried to recover the dinner.

Emily turned to me eventually and included me in the conversation. It was kind, really, but unnecessary. I tried to stay quiet for the rest of the dinner, already feeling guilty that I had behaved that way.

The moment that dishes were washed and cleaned, I peeled myself away from Seth and his interrogation and said goodbye to Emily.

"I'm sorry I ruined your dinner," I hugged my friend tight, and was truly sorry.

"Stop it. It's been a long time since we've had proper Bella and Jake entertainment."

"Yeah, well don't count on it happening again. You'll text me when he isn't here? I'm just home with Charlie, and I'm sure he won't mind."

"Fine, but you can't avoid him forever." Emily whispered into my ear.

I grimaced, biting the comment back. "Yeah, I know," I nodded before slowly heading towards my car with a small regretful wave.

I drove home in silence. I was waiting. It was a quiet calm before the storm, because the moment that I stepped out of the vehicle into the crisp night, it was over and I knew it.

There was an eerie quiet as I pressed the lock button, followed by a soft thump that disturbed the leaves on the ground.

"You've got some nerve pulling that around all of them."

Anger immediately replaced exhaustion and took the driver's side as my blood began to burn in my veins. Just like that, he was going in on me?

"I'm sorry I embarrassed you. Maybe if you would mind your business—"

"Oh, for fuck's sake…" his head lolled to look at the sky with silent rage.

"—and stopped crawling back to the default—"

"Stop referring to yourself as the default!"

"I am the default!" I shouted, jabbing my finger at my chest so hard it hurt. "You're lying to yourself if you say that I'm not." My rigid voice broke, and I hated him for it. Pouring hatred that always mixed so beautifully with the natural pull of him and became intoxicating.

His eyes glinted, a spark of hurt danced just behind the surface of his gaze before he let out a sharp laugh. I knew what was coming. Why was it that he always became so mean when he was hurt?

"You haven't been the default for years, sweetheart."

Although an insult was anticipated, I hadn't readied myself for that. My body buzzed with fire, and I felt the tipping point in my mind between rational and blind rage. I watched as my hand shot out and collided with his face in a sharp smack that echoed off of the street. It startled me, but I concealed it with a quick turn on my heel to escape to the door.

I didn't get one step before a steady shock climbed up my arm at the contact of his blistering hot hand wrapping around mine.

I waited for him to admonish me, or worse, the faint tremble in his hand to serve as a reminder of what he was. But there was no tremble. Just a heady, pulsing heat that soaked into my bones.

His grip on my hand was firm, but never more than he ever had been. There was always a softness to his touch, even if I was sure he didn't want there to be. I turned back to him, my heart fluttering with nervousness. He should have been angry. Spitting, seething anger that I would dare to raise a hand to him.

Instead, his darkened eyes were filled with amusement. A smile twisted up the corner of his mouth as he chuckled. I pulled away from him, but he didn't release me.

He flipped my palm up, his thumb rubbing quick circles to it as he raised it to his lips. It was a crackle of energy, a graze of his lips on my fingertips that was full of sparkling heat right where they had made contact with his skin only moments ago.

"Oh, how I've missed you," he whispered in a sort of confession, as if he had forgotten not to say it aloud.

He grinned at me again and winked before he dropped my hand. It fell to my side with a newfound heaviness. I didn't have anything to say, and apparently neither did he because Jake quickly turned around and disappeared into the shadows again.

Just like that, nothing had been solved. And the tension only became…palpable now. A sediment accumulating on the outside of my skin, building up until I was paralyzed by it.

My chin trembled, the comment ricocheting inside of my head. Why did I care in the first place? It wasn't the first time he had been mean to me, but still, I didn't have an answer.