I DO NOT OWN OR MAKE ANY PROFIT OFF OF LAW AND ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT AND ITS CHARACTERS.
A/N: I wanted it to be better than this, but we live and we learn. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
~~~ooOOOoo~~~
At the ripe hour of ten in the evening, Olivia steps into her apartment, and her phone buzzes. With a heavy sigh, she pulls out her phone from her pocket.
CRAGEN: Missed you on your way out. IAB cleared you. Take tomorrow off.
OLIVIA: I'm fine. I don't need to call out.
CRAGEN: It wasn't a request.
OLIVIA: Okay.
Clicking out of the text, she slips her light jacket off, tosses it on the back of the armchair, and trudges to her bathroom. Shedding her bloodied clothes and tossing them in the washing machine, she turns on the hot water in the shower.
~~~ooo~~~
Elliot is practically dragged to 1PP, after the shootout. Currently, Elliot is sitting next to his PBA delegate, right across from his arch-nemesis, Ed Tucker. "I'm done," Elliot exclaims as he stands from his chair.
"Sit down, Detective!" Tucker yells from across the table.
The representative stays silent as Elliot matches Tucker's pitch, "I said I'm done!"
"We're just getting started," a devilish grin spreads across Tucker's face.
"I'm out of here," Elliot takes a step toward the glass door.
"You leave now, and you're off the force," Tucker threatens.
The representative speaks up, "You know you can't do that without a proper investigation."
Elliot stomps over next to Tucker. Leaning over him, Elliot slowly reaches for his badge, and his weapon clipped to his hip, "You don't have to fire me." Placing his badge and weapon on the table, he shouts, "I quit!"
The delegate and Tucker sit in shock as they watch Elliot leave the conference room. Leaving 1PP his phone chimes.
KATHY: It's late. I'm going to bed.
Elliot scrubs his hands over his face and lets out a heavy sigh. His phone chimes once more.
KATHY: If you're not coming home tonight, don't come home at all.
Reading his wife's words, he yells out into the streets of New York City, "Fuck! Fucking- Fuck!"
"Sir! Sir, calm down," a uniformed police officer rushes to his side.
"Leave me alone!" Elliot pushes away from the officer and swiftly strides away. He has a destination in mind. There is only one person who will understand, only one person who can help him.
Olivia.
~~~ooo~~~
The buzzing of her apartment intercom system pauses her shower. Toweling herself off and slipping into her robe, she rushes over to the intercom box. Olivia clears her throat, "Who is it?" There is no response. She frustratedly talks again, "Hello?"
"Liv," he voices softly.
Olivia asks, "El?" The silence from the other side of the intercom overwhelms her. "El, come up," she buzzes her partner into her complex.
Before he can even knock, Olivia swings the door open. Olivia froze at the sight of Elliot, dressed in his bloodied clothes, standing there with a trail of dried tears running down his cheeks. Elliot practically sprints towards her. He wraps his arms around her, squeezing her tightly. With a slight gasp, Elliot steps back and looks at her robe now covered in a thin layer of blood, "I'm sorry… I forgot I… I didn't realize…"
Olivia leads him into her apartment, "It's okay, El. Let me get you some water." She rushes into the kitchen and grabs a glass from her cabinet. As she fills the glass with tap water, she notices Elliot standing awkwardly in the center of her living area. Handing him the glass, she watches him chug the whole thing in less than a second, "Why don't you take a shower, I can put your clothes in the laundry."
Elliot stands frozen and glassy-eyed. With no words, he only nods in agreement. Slowly approaching him, she places her hands on his shoulders, "Let's get you cleaned up." Olivia shows him to her main bathroom where he shuts the door behind him. Hearing the water running, Olivia cracks the door open, "El, can I put your clothes in the laundry?"
He slowly responds, "Okay."
"Here are some clothes for when you get out," she drops a folded pile of clothes and reaches for the bloodied clothes on the floor. As she starts another laundry cycle, Olivia thinks deeply about what might be running through Elliot's head. Ultimately, all she knows is that he feels responsible for what happened. She throws on a pair of pajamas and settles on the couch. She hears the water stop running and the door creak open. The hot steam emerges from the bathroom and trails down the hallway. From the steam, Elliot appears in a tattered gray NYPD long-sleeve and blue flannel pajama pants with a butterfly patch sewn into the hip. Olivia quietly speaks, "Sorry about the pants."
"It's fine," Elliot admits as he plops himself down next to her on the couch, "I…" He turns his head to make eye contact with his partner. Cocking his head he manages to spit out, "I quit."
"What?" her breath hitches.
"I quit," he repeats.
Olivia can feel her eyes getting heavier. She asks him for specifics, "Quit what?"
"The force. I quit my job," he clarifies.
Sitting in stunned silence, Olivia processes the information. Gradually, she manages to ask, "Why?"
"I just- I just can't do it anymore."
"Do what?"
"The job, Liv! The job!"
"Is it IAB?"
"No."
"Is it me?"
"No!"
"What changed, Elliot?"
He falls silent after her question comes out. Thinking about his answer, he leans back into the couch cushion, "I killed Jenna…"
"It was a clean shooting, El," Olivia tries to calm his nerves.
"Jenna was a child…"
"Elliot, she came in the precinct with the intent to kill Skinner."
"She died in my arms…"
Olivia grasped his sense of guilt, yet she found herself growing more and more exasperated with his closedmindedness, "You had no choice!"
"I could have shot to disable not to kill!" Elliot stands from the couch and makes his way to the door, "I shouldn't have come here. I'm sorry to disturb you."
She jumps up from the couch and dashes towards him. Reaching for his arm she pulls him into her embrace, "Come here."
Elliot falls into her and lets Olivia hold his weight, "I killed her. She's dead because of me."
She knows there is nothing she can say or do to make him think differently, at least for tonight. Olivia rubs his back to help comfort him, "It's gonna be okay, El. Everything is gonna be okay."
He repeats, "I killed her. She's dead because of me."
"It's late. Why don't you get some sleep?" Olivia lets go ever so slightly and looks intently at him. He nods lightly and lets Olivia lead the way. She brings him to her bedroom where she peels back the blanket and moves herself to stand in the doorway, "If you need any more blankets or pillows, they're in the linen closet at the end of the hallway."
"I'm not taking your bed," he tries putting up a fight. Olivia glares at him and he backs off. Elliot slips under the covers and whispers, "Thank you, Liv."
"Any time," she flicks the lights off and turns back around to face him, "Try and get some sleep."
She leaves the door open a crack, making sure he isn't in complete darkness. Plopping herself back on the couch, she pulls the blanket over her. She slowly drifts off to sleep to Elliot's words ringing in her head.
"I quit."
~~~ooo~~~
"Liv!" Elliot wakes Olivia.
She turns her head to look at the clock on the wall. Olivia thinks, 'It's three in the morning. What is he doing up?'
"LIV!" Elliot screams bloody murder.
Olivia jumps up from the couch and rushes down the hall. Bursting through the bedroom door she calmly states, "I'm right here."
Starting to fight her off the bed, he continues to scream, "Liv, get down!"
"El, I'm right here. It's just a nightmare," she strokes her hand up and down the length of his arm trying to peacefully wake him up, "I'm right here." Elliot's eyes snap open and he sits straight up almost knocking Olivia over. She repositions herself to sit on the edge of the bed and to face him. "It's just a nightmare, El," she soothes him with her calming voice.
He wraps his arms around her body and pulls her closer to him. Elliot cries out, "I thought you were hit."
The muscles in her abdomen strain as she is stretched out in his embrace. She pulls back slowly and reassures him with a low voice, "It's okay… I'm okay…" Elliot stares into her eyes longingly as he adjusts to his awakened state.
Olivia slowly begins to stand up from sitting on the edge of the bed, but is stopped when Elliot reaches his hand out and grasps onto hers, "Can you…" She waits for him to finish his thought. He inhales sharply, "Can you stay?"
It takes a moment for Olivia to realize what he is asking of her. She asks for confirmation, "In here? With you?"
He justifies himself, "I haven't slept alone in a bed for twenty-six years. It's-"
"Move over," Olivia peels back the blankets. Elliot stays still and stares at her with big eyes. Her tone deepens, "Move over, Stabler." She slips in between the covers and stays near the edge of the bed.
Sighing lightly, he voices, "Thank you, Liv."
~~~ooOOOoo~~~
A/N: Let me know if I should continue or just leave it at this. Much love to all my peeps.