This is where the fun begins! From here you'll start seeing this story pull away from canon Clone Wars "Brain Invaders" material a bit. Not much, but just enough to start unraveling a new plot! :) Mild PTSD content warning. Enjoy!

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Off of Geonosis

Chapter 2

Any appreciation Ahsoka felt for leaving Geonosis' surface was quickly swallowed up with boredom and restlessness in the dark of her frigate bunk. Her mind was running at light speed, thinking about the previous battles. She remembered how frightened she was for Obi-Wan's life when his ship was shot down, and how simply Anakin redirected her focus by acknowledging that he was worried too, instead of a lecture on attachment like she would've received at the Temple. Then again, she'd never really had a problem with attachments until she became a Padawan. Until she'd met Anakin.

Ahsoka groaned. Her master was definitely not the perfect Jedi, and they had their issues, but Ahsoka knew she wouldn't trade him for anyone else. Sure, he could be reckless and impulsive and far more passionate than any Jedi probably should be, but she trusted him with her life… Though he lacked the same trust with her. She frowned. Arguing on the surface was easier than addressing the root of their aggravations with each other. But their last argument, the one they'd had before the factory collapse, after he had continually interrupted her in her briefing, that argument still struck a chord. She'd snapped at him childishly, despite feeling their Force bond hissing with frustration.

"Well, if you don't trust me, then maybe you should send me back!"

In the dark, Ahsoka grimaced at the shadowed wall in front of her, her face flushed in shame. She hadn't meant it. She would never want that. She'd only said it to get a reaction out of him. A jolt of shock maybe, or a pang of disbelief at even the suggestion, despite her behavior. But instead, his smooth response had sent a shard of panic into her chest.

"Oh, don't tempt me Snips."

Ahsoka flipped over on her bunk, resting on her left side. She knew that Anakin hadn't initially wanted her and that she'd been assigned to him against his wishes, but she'd thought that by now, he'd at least be resigned to teaching her even if he wasn't glad. She thought that by now, this tension wouldn't exist. She was only happy to ignore it for so long. She hated the fear twisting her guts, hated the way she was questioning her apprenticeship, hated even her old Temple teachers, for making her believe her future master would be the perfect Jedi mentor. What bantha fodder!

It's not always his fault. You're the one who refuses to follow orders. Maybe he should send you back.

Ahsoka pursed her lips against the onslaught of her restless thoughts. She'd already learned that lesson about following orders multiple times. Her recent lapse on Felucia came to mind, when her master had actually physically put a stop to her battle, landing his gunship in front of her troops. But she'd already been punished for that, by the whole Council, no less. She'd served her super boring guard duty time, and meditated, as assigned, on her mistake. Besides, Anakin would never just send her back because she annoyed him or argued with him. It was part of the reason she liked being his apprentice so much. No padawan and master duo bantered so much as they did… Well, besides maybe him and Obi-Wan.

Still, she wished they had resolved the conversation before she dove into those stupid bugger catacombs. Instead, Ahsoka remembered how triumphant she'd felt over his discomfort when she'd been assigned to destroy the droid factory.

"See? Dependable Bariss will get us through."

Ahsoka glanced across the room to the Mirialan girl, her face the picture of peace, directly contrasting Ahsoka's own mental chaos. She frowned at the twinge of jealousy that leapt to her mind's forefront and turned over onto her back, staring blankly at the dark ceiling.

She'd felt Anakin's worry slipping around his mental shields as he watched her leap into the canyon behind Bariss, but she'd ignored it, chalking it up to his overprotective nature that was forever too present. He couldn't stop her from going on this mission and they both knew it. They'd parted ways out of tension and frustration. And then she'd almost died.

Ahsoka gingerly stroked the healing bruise on her lekku, prodding it gently with her fingertips across the tender blue and purple tinted skin. The motion created a dull pain, the kind that almost felt pleasant or in the least addicting, and so Ahsoka pressed against the bruise a few more times. Anakin and her had kinda sorted out their tension... Mostly. His frustrations seemed to have dissipated after he pulled her out of the factory ruins. Instead, she'd felt his relief rolling in waves, followed by a sense of self assurance, and to Ahsoka's great happiness, an absurd amount of pride, especially under Master Luminara's praise. But then, when she called his comm from the med bay, he hadn't picked up, using the excuse of a sandstorm or his mission into the bugger queen's catacombs not to answer or respond. Which was a decent enough reason, but it felt like there was something more to it than that, something of a fear maybe. Fear of comming his injured padawan? Ahsoka huffed and shook out her hands, forcing herself to stop poking at her lekku since the dull ache had now turned into a throb. She pressed an index finger to her temple, starting to get another headache, from stress most likely.

The soundlessness of this room was getting under her skin. It was too quiet. She was used to sleeping through the sounds of war, not the peace of an empty barrack and a silent supply ship. Master Yoda would tell her to meditate probably, but the thought of spending more time exploring her thoughts just repulsed the young Togruta. Obi-Wan might hand her a cup of tea, a beverage she didn't particularly enjoy. Anakin would probably say something like, "if you can't sleep, make yourself useful", and then hand her a tool to help him fix a speeder's steering or a rattle in a fighter engine or a squeak in Artoo's wheels. Honestly, she didn't hate it when they had those types of sleepless nights. She'd learned a lot of mechanic skills then, but more than that, she just liked working beside him, even in silence. It seemed their Force bond was strongest during those times, humming resolute and content. Like maybe this was all their master-apprentice bond should have been, without the war.

Ahsoka chewed her bottom lip. Despite knowing how the Jedi Council felt about attachment, and the lessons she'd endured several rotations ago with Master Secura when her master almost died, and their faking-it tension on Geonosis… despite it all… she wished Anakin was on this mission with her. Even just on a ship or something nearby. Force knows his signature was strong enough to sense his presence from a nearby transport if she wanted to. When she'd been in the med bay after the factory collapse, he'd been assigned to a mission with Obi-Wan. Ahsoka told herself she didn't mind. She knew Obi-Wan would watch his back in her stead. Yet, there was something about her being the one on his six that eased her mind. And now again, they were on separate missions. The absence of his oddly soothing, chaotic warmth in the Force left her feeling cold and restless and alone.

Ahsoka flipped over to her left side again, gazing at Bariss. At least the other padawan was here, so she wasn't totally friendless. Gently, in the Force, Ahsoka reached toward Bariss, feeling for her presence, hoping the other Jedi wouldn't notice her prodding. Her signature wasn't near as fiery as Anakin's, in control or warmth. Bariss felt cooler and collected, as if she was a carefully maintained glowrod to Anakin's bright and striking lightsaber.

Still, as Ahsoka dipped below the surface layers of Bariss' Force signature, she sensed the tiniest bit of something else… Something mesmerizing but hidden deep beneath the tiers of her persona. As if pulling a thread from a catch, Ahsoka caught a whisp of the something and tugged, revealing more and more until she could wrap the feeling around her own signature, its familiarity catching her a bit off guard. Passion? It was the same thing that emanated from Anakin's Force signature in such huge abundance, despite the Council's warning against it.

Pleasantly curious, Ahsoka reached out to the Mirialan again, this time pushing a little more against Bariss' mental shields. For all the time she'd known Bariss, she'd never known her as passionate. In fact, probably the opposite. Reserved, agreeable even. But this was different. As Ahsoka meditated on her friend in the Force, she found that the passion was like an aquifer in wealth and abundance, all brewing deep under the surface, in quantity similar to her master's. Which, to Ahsoka's surprise, made her wary. Perhaps this is how the other Jedi felt when in the presence of Anakin's blazing Force signature. The thought disturbed her. Anakin's presence was different. His was warm and teasing and comforting while Bariss' was… uptight? Ahsoka frowned. No that wasn't right, it was more…

Bitter.

The word came to her suddenly, like the Force smacked her in the face with it. Why bitter? And passion for what? The two felt connected in a way that made her eyes narrow, like different ends of the same string. She prodded a little more at Bariss' presence, leaning past the surface mantle of agreeableness, into the passionate abyss below. This discovery deserved some digging… Something seemed almost wron—

"What? What is it?" Bariss asked, her eyes still closed. Her voice was clear and calm from across the room. Clearly, she'd noticed her prodding.

"It's too quiet." Ahsoka blurted. She swallowed her surprise quickly, smoothing her tone into a sigh while a blush crept up her lekku and across her face. "It's a big change from all the fighting the last few days."

"You should enjoy this peace while it lasts."

Ahsoka wondered for the first time in her and Bariss' friendship if the other girl meant "peace" sincerely. She bit her lip and shook her head. "I can't. Let's go eat."

In one graceful motion, Bariss swept her legs over the edge of her bunk, her skirt pinwheeling around her ankles, her hands tucked in her lap as she sat up. The corners of her mouth turned up just the slightest and a single slow nod gave her answer. Ahsoka watched as Bariss stood and nearly floated over to the door. It opened automatically with her movement.

"Coming?" A polite lilt anchored the end of the word.

Ahsoka shook herself from her daze. "Of course."

She dropped from her bunk with a thunk, far from Bariss's dancerly descent, but then again, Anakin had never taught her subtlety. Trodding on the other padawan's heels, the pair headed to the frigate's small cafeteria, hoping the rations were a little more flavorful than normal.

When they arrived, the cafeteria was empty, all the troops on duty, leaving the whole room to themselves. It was a quick trip through the line. Ahsoka carried her meal tray over to a table, glancing down at her rations blandly. She supposed the food wasn't terrible, but it certainly wasn't the good meals she'd have at Dex's when they were home on Coruscant. She picked at the white sludgy food block with her fork as Bariss took a seat across from her, her own rations in hand.

"You know," Ahsoka said, breaking the silence, "I don't think I've slept well since becoming a padawan."

"Not even when you and your master are on leave back on Coruscant?" The other girl questioned.

"Well, maybe a little at the Temple, but the change from the battlefield is…tricky…and my bed always seems a little too soft after sleeping on the ground."

"I suppose I can understand that." Bariss said simply. Ahsoka studied her for a moment, the other padawan the picture of a cool and calm façade. Perfect posture, back straight, wrists hovering over the tabletop with each bite. Even her food squares were lined up in a grid on her food tray, while, Ahsoka glanced at her own pallet, the bites were scrambled across hers in disarray. She pulled them all into the center of the tray with her fork, suddenly self-conscious.

"I was just thinking about what you said earlier, about enjoying the peace while it lasts." Ahsoka flicked at another block of food. "I don't know if I know how to do that, though as a Jedi I feel I am supposed to. I can barely remember a time when there wasn't war."

Bariss let her fork rest on the table. "Some of the other masters have said that we are to be keepers of the peace, not warriors."

Ahsoka frowned. "But aren't we already warriors? We're generals and commanders in battle. We study war plans and battle schematics. My master has developed new lightsaber techniques purely to disarm and destroy battle droids."

Oddly enough, Ahsoka felt a spark of frustration floating around Bariss' Force signature, but it was suppressed by the padawan's mental shields as quickly as it appeared. Ahsoka narrowed her eyes and pushed a little further. "Is what we're doing now keeping the peace, or fighting as warriors? And what's the difference?"

Bariss took another bite of her meal, breathing deeply, the epitome of collectiveness. "I don't have all the answers, Ahsoka. Like you, I'm still a learner. What does your master tell you?"

Ahsoka blinked at the other girl. A deflection. Bariss was being clever.

Ahsoka frowned inwardly at the thought. She was conducting this conversation as if she was running an interrogation, not chatting with a friend. Bariss had been by her side when the droid factory collapsed on top of them. They had sacrificed themselves together. They had bonded beneath the rubble, and Bariss had been willing to give her life for the war effort just as Ahsoka had. They were friends. She should be ashamed of herself.

Anakin's warning on Geonosis chimed softly in the back of her mind. Keep your guard up.

Ahsoka sucked in a sharp breath. Against a fellow Jedi? Maybe all the fighting really was getting to her nerves. She took another bite of her food, chewed the rubbery square, and swallowed.

"Oh Anakin?" She said, finally getting around to Bariss's question. "You might find some of his thoughts on the future a— a bit radical."

To Ahsoka's surprise, Bariss leaned in at her words, as if she'd finally found something to take interest in. "Really? Why?"

A thin thread of eagerness wound itself around the Mirialan padawan, disappearing deep into her signature, below the layers Ahsoka could sense, down to where she knew the pool of passion lay hidden. Through Anakin's words, the Force issued another warning. Keep your guard up. A chill swept over her orange skin, goosebumps raising over her arms. Ahsoka stared at Bariss, her fork resting frozen in her hand, reverse grip, like she held her lightsaber. She checked her mental shields. They were still solid. She set her fork down beside her tray, depressing the utensil until the metal bent under the pressure.

"Let's just say my Master will always do what needs to be done." Ahsoka murmured, the words drifting between them darkly. Bariss blinked at her. Ahsoka pasted a friendly smile on her face, tearing her gaze away as if nothing happened. Her hands floated to her chin, cradling her face in her hands. "I'm not even sure how peacetime will agree with him."

"I see." Bariss said shrewdly, examining the tabletop with drawn brows. "That is supposing, of course, that we all remain alive long enough to see peacetime."

Ahsoka stilled, the sound of the crashing temple on Geonosis filling her montrals. The dread sinking into her very being. We're dead. We're dead. We're dead. The rocks finally settling, burying them layer under layer of ruins. The heat made her sweat. It felt like the tank's walls in the tiny hatch were caving in. Through their bond, she called to her master. Master! I'm here, I'm still here! She felt his panic and uncertainty, despite his steady current of I'm coming Snips, I'm coming. With every breath of chalky air, she sensed her call growing weaker-

"Ahsoka, are you alright?" Bariss drew her once again out of the memory. She clutched her arms across her chest in a self-hug.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." Ahsoka pushed her food tray forward, unable to eat another bite. She swiped the sweat off her brow and silently cursed herself. That bout nearly took her away, and right in front of Bariss too. Letting herself cave to her anxiety like that wasn't at all what Anakin meant when he said to keep her guard up. She had to get it together. Ahsoka cleared her throat. "Um, what has your master told you? You know, about the difference between peacekeepers and warriors?"

Bariss frowned from her place across the table and suddenly a blip of several dark emotions floated through the Force, unreadable before they disappeared behind her mental shields. Her hand clenched into a fist around her fork, her voice tense. "It seems that my master has no struggle with the correlation between the two. To her, the Jedi are peacekeepers, not warriors. She trusts the decisions of the High Council, despite the actions the Jedi have had to take in consequence."

She flicked her gaze up to Ahsoka, shaken from her thoughts, and immediately stared back down at the tabletop, becoming once again the meek padawan Ahsoka had always known.

"Forgive me," Bariss folded her fisted hands gently into her lap, "as the padawan, I am sure there is more to my master's conviction than I can presently see. Master Luminara is always prepared; I am sure I only need to ask her to get the answers we both seek."

Ahsoka frowned at the other girl, opening her mouth to respond when the cafeteria door slid open and revealed two of the clones assigned to their squadron. She nodded to them.

"Evening Ox, Edge." Ahsoka flicked at the food cubes with her slightly warped fork. "Would you like to join us?"

The two soldiers didn't reply, their stares unchanging. Ahsoka frowned. "Troopers? Is everything alright?"

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Chapter 3 coming soon! I'll try to update every week or two, depending on life and editing. Thanks for reading and please review!