Summary: Imperial Luke AU.

Luke asks his all-knowing father how he's supposed to flirt with the pretty redhead who tried to kill him.

Flirting 101

"Right. Lessons. Flirting 101 – go!"

Vader blinked, trying in vain to process.

Luke stared at him expectantly.

"What?" He said dumbly, feeling lost in the way only Luke could ever succeed in making him feel.

"Flirting 101." Luke repeated. "How do I flirt?"

Until this exact moment, Vader hadn't quite realized that there was indeed a limit to what he was willing to do for and on behalf of his only child. Luke was everything to him and had had his father wrapped around his finger for the entirety of his life. He was spoiled but he had an inherent right to be – and that was completely disregarding the reality that their lives were far from pleasant or easy.

Luke had suffered more pain and torment during his short twenty years of life than most could possibly even conceive of. He bore the abuse from the Emperor with a level of grace and maturity that was unheard of and in conjunction with their mutual plans to kill Palpatine, carried with him a determination to use his position as a means to set all that was wrong in the galaxy to right.

"I am not talking to you about this."

"Oh, come on!" Luke begged, trailing after him. "You were married once – obviously you know something."

"Not about this." He muttered, thinking back to his frankly… pathetic efforts to woo Padme all those years ago. It made him cringe just thinking about it and the Force seemed to agree, mournfully whispering truth to his words.

Luke paused when he felt the affirmation and Vader scowled at nothing, feeling betrayed.

"Wait – you really don't know how to flirt?" He tilted his head, confused and obviously having never considered that such a thing was possible before. Judging by the sudden whirling and speed of his thoughts, Vader wouldn't have been surprised if he were trying to figure out an exceptionally complicated math equation.

Brat.

"Try not to hurt yourself, Luke." Vader snapped, walking quicker. He had the entire Imperial Navy to run, as well as diabolical plans to overthrow the Emperor to work on – he did not have time for this and quite frankly, as his coconspirator, neither did Luke.

Luke's mind cleared abruptly and something very close to awe replaced his confusion.

"Oh my God."

Vader withheld a sigh. Of all the things that his son could choose to be distracted by, it had to be this. Because obviously their plans, in which there was no room for error and if they failed for any reason would result in one or both of their deaths, guarantee a lifetime of slavery and pain for the survivor, and would ensure that there would never be true peace or freedom in the galaxy ever again, took a backseat in light of this stunning revelation.

"You really don't know how to flirt." His son restated slowly, a mischievous smile tugging at his lips. "What did the Jedi Order do to you?"

"How much time do you have?"

"Not much – I have a date in the cells tonight."

"You. Are going. To medical." Kix interrupted immediately, glaring unrepentantly at him.

Luke groaned in exasperation. "I'm going – " he said, gesturing with his good arm to indicate that he was in fact, moving in the right direction. "I'm literally walking there right now!"

A/N as with so many of my short fics, this belongs to an AU I toy with on occasion. Prior to this bit, Luke was hurt in and experienced a failed assassination attempt conducted by one Mara Jade and it was literally love at first sight for him. Naturally he asks his father how the hell he's supposed to flirt. Vader is not happy or impressed with him. XD

In other news: What Lurks in the Dark chapter 6 is very much in the works. It's just... like putting together a 5000 piece duel sided puzzle. It's complicated and I am fastidious. But, if I don't finish it this weekend, it'll be up by next. :)

ALSO. In the event that Fanfiction is indeed shut down and disappears at some point in the future - all of my fics can be found on my A03 account, under the same username, DragonflyonBreak. Thanks for reading!