Sailor Moon: Usagi's Descent into Madness Chapter 5: Holding Back, a sailor moon fanfic

Chapter 5: Holding Back

After Killing Ryo, Usagi physically became depressed. She could only keep the urges and psychosis at bay by seeing the shiny scarlet blood that comes out of her victims.

She wondered how her ancestors did it. Here she was, about 400 years old, and she could barely resist the urge to just go out and just stab some innocent soul to satisfy her own urges. But she could barely keep the feelings at bay.

In wake of killing Ryo, she had to cover it up or else. So, she camouflaged herself and snuck into Ryo's private office. She used a sort of skeleton key used to access any employee of the Neo Silver Millenium Created by Ryo himself in case any of the files of the servants to the crown would unwisely choose to betray them.

Usagi input the login and Ryo was logged in.

She wrote up an email about being paranoid and needing a few days off to collect himself.

It worked for a few days, but the things became chaotic.

At first, it was just other researchers asking about where he was. Then they were wondering what he meant by a few days.

It all began when a colleague tried to visit him at home, finding that he wasn't there and there was no evidence that he was ever there after the email was sent.

After this, researchers went to the armed police to report Ryo missing.

Not long after the missing person's report was filed, Ryo's profile photo was on the news all over the world, sending everyone into a witch hunt to find the missing scientist responsible for the crown's personal research.

Day and night, people looked everywhere right alongside the Armed Military.

For weeks, people looked, but nothing ever came up, not even when they searched his personal office and his private residence.

After a year or two, people stopped looking, making the excuse that maybe he didn't WANT to be found.

After this, life went on normally, but Usagi was making quick trips to other countries to commit murders.

Since she had hundreds of years' worth of experience with life itself and knowledge, she found ways to make sure that bodies were never discovered.

For 18 long years, Usagi went around the world, killing one or two people unfortunate enough to be found in her path.

Each of the encounters made Usagi sad, but she still made sure that the public never saw her frown or cry. Only the strong and brave Neo Queen Serenity that saw justice where it was needed.

Each of the encounters would go something like this:

Usagi would land in a part of the world that saw crime regularly. In this randomly selected encounter, she went across the sea to the former United States of America, to the state of Arizona. She would disguise herself with clothes of someone living in the Southwestern U.S. to blend in with the crowd. Since it was a spring night, she opted for blue jeans, a red buttoned shirt and some cowboy boots that had the Moon stitched into the sides along with the normal design. To top it all off, she sported a pair of glasses to conceal herself better. Since her hair was iconic, she made it so that her hair just fell straight down her shoulders along her back.

Here, she would go about the largest city's streets looking for how she would catch her next victim.

She sees a bar and enters.

Inside, she grabs a seat at the bar and orders a drink.

She waits, waiting for someone to sit next to her.

Eventually, an adult male and female sit on either side of her.

She talks to them, talking about the weather, how each other looks, then she makes her move after the two have had a few drinks.

(Usagi) So... Why don't we three get outta her and to somewhere more... private?

Both seemed interested, but wondered who she was about to... "engage" with.

(Usagi) Oh... Don't worry, I swing BOTH ways...

She gave each person a lustful glare and each of them nodded at her and each other.

The three would walk out of the bar and they would get into an old truck owned by the male. They would drive for a few minutes and then she would shoot each of them in the head, grabbing the woman's arm after she shot the male and shot her in quick succession.

Before the truck could swerve too far, Usagi would take the wheel and drive the truck into the desert.

After an hour, Usagi would stop the truck and go on a stabbing frenzy with each of the bodies until the urges were satisified with the gory scene she created.

After she finished. She would create a large hole in the ground, large enough for the entire truck to fit.

Then, she would set the truck ablaze and quicken the process with her own destructive powers.

At the end, she would bury the entire whole before anything in the landscape seemed amiss.

Upon finishing, Usagi would return to home to the former country of Japan to the Crystal Tower, in the Garden, before Mamoru could ask where she had been.

It was a process she hated, but it kept her sane until the Sailor Guardians were ready. But one thing would have to happen before she did this. She would have to tell her most loyal companion, Luna.

She would have to tell Luna everything. But she would have to do it, SPECIFICALLY, at the moment when Luna would awaken all four Guardians and for long enough to where they know who they are and understand their powers.

When Luna started finding the guardians, she would happily tell Usagi about the find and offer to meet them again, but Usagi declined, feeling her ever coming end, slowly coming closer and closer. Once Luna found the last Guardian, Usagi told her to train them for an incoming threat to the Earth that could spell the end if they are not careful.

When Luna heard this, she didn't question it and began to rigorously train the guardians and build them from the ground up. Once they were prepared and strong enough, Luna reported to Usagi, just for Usagi to tell her that the threat to the Earth... was herself.

(Luna) Very funny Usagi, but this is not the time for jokes! Who is the enemy? Or what are they?

(Usagi) I'm sorry Luna. But I'm not joking.

(Luna) What are you saying? That you're the largest threat to Humanity? But you're Neo Queen Serenity! How could you be a threat to the entire globe?

(Usagi) Luna... The queen hid something from you before you came to Earth.

Usagi told Luna about her "Blood Moon Syndrome" and how it could spell doom for everyone in the Neo Silver Millenium if she continued to live.

(Luna) No... No, that can't be right! There has to be something we can do! What about-

(Usagi) Luna! Look, I've tried everything. But nothing works. Physical restraints won't hold me because of how powerful I am. Putting me under won't work, my mind will regenerate. There's no other way for this to end.

(Luna) So that's why... you never wanted to meet your old friends... so they wouldn't remember you.

(Usagi) Precisely. If they remember me, they won't try to kill me and I'll end up killing them, their blood on my hands once again and their deaths over me, once more.

(Luna) Do Mamoru and Small Lady have any knowledge of this?

(Usagi) No... They won't know until after I am gone. And Chibiusa is safe. She was born without the gene required for the "Blood Moon Syndrome". I checked after she was born with the researchers.

So, after exactly 18 years since the Crystals disappeared, Luna came to Usagi and a 27 year-old Usagi Tsukino, formerly known as the Small Lady, in the Garden, their hairstyles completely identical, only differing in hair color, one a golden shade of blonde and the other a rosy pink.

(Luna) Usagi! I have to tell you something!

(Usagi) Oh. Hey Luna, what's up?

(Chibiusa) Hi Luna!

(Luna) Oh, I didn't know you were here Chibiusa.

(Chibiusa) Oh c'mon Luna! How many times do I have to tell you!? I'm not a little girl anymore. Just call me Usagi, Like my mother!

(Luna) Um... No. It'd be pretty hard to call you both Usagi and know which one I was referring to.

(Chibiusa) I see... You do have a point, but when she's not around, just call me Usagi!

(Luna) Okay. Usagi, I need to talk to you about something private. Chibiusa, would you mind giving your mother and I some privacy?

Chibusa walked away, going to the meet with her friends from work for tea.

(Usagi) Are they really ready?

(Luna) I... I'm afraid so. I believe they can defeat you and end the bloodshed.

Luna began to tear up, even as she looked at Usagi.

Usagi wiped a tear from Luna's eye.

(Usagi) Luna. I know this is hard to do, but I can't just keep killing these innocent people. I need to be stopped before I lose control to the Blood Moon Syndrome. If we wait until the last moment, they may not be enough to defeat me. And kill me.

(Luna) It's just that, knowing that this is what I am training them for... It feels so wrong to do, and you're one of the only people that I've known to live this long. Other than Artemis and Mamoru of course. But still, you're asking me to train the Sailor Guardians to kill one of the most important people in my life, and a life that was entrusted to me by your mother.

(Usagi) I know... You haven't told them that I was their enemy right? And you also haven't told Artemis yet, right?

(Luna) Of course. They don't need to know. Have you told Mamoru or Chibiusa?

(Usagi) I've prepared an explanation for when I'm defeated. I've also written letters to each of them for when the time comes. The researchers and scientist think it's a time capsule, but they don't know either.

(Luna) I understand... But I WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND IS HOW!? HOW ARE YOU SO OKAY WITH THIS!? YOU'RE PREPARING YOUR OWN DEATH! HOW ARE YOU SO CALM!?

Usagi seemed unfazed by Luna's outburst, continuing to bear the genuine smile on her face.

(Usagi) Well... I've lived a long life, filled with ups and downs like any other. But I've lived for as peacefully long as I can and now? Now I'm ready. I'm ready to end this life because if I don't, many people will lose their lives to me, and I just can't bear it knowing that the people I'm killing are completely innocent.

Luna's ear twitched as she listened to something.

(Luna) The girls are ready to battle.

Usagi stood up and transformed into Eternal Sailor Moon.

(Usagi) Thank you Luna. Tell them... Tell them that they are the last line of defense for all of humanity... and that Failure is NOT an option.

Usagi was ready. She just hoped that they were too...

With her pistol and dagger at her sides, she prepared herself to fight the Sailor Guardians, her olf allies, now her executioners.

Usagi powered down and went to the area where the fight would take place.

Before she left the Crystal Tower though, she found Mamoru in their study, reading literature from almost a thousand years ago.

Since he was standing, she went up to him and gave him a big hug, holding him tightly as she kissed him on the cheek.

(Usagi) See you later Mamo! I'm gonna go meet Chibiusa and her friends as a surprise!

(Mamoru) OH! Oh... Okay Usako, I'll see you later! Have fun, and say hello to them for me!

Leaving and going to Chibiusa's favorite cafe, Usagi found her daughter with her friends and surprised Chibiusa from behind with a hug.

(Usagi) ~Gueeeeessss who~

(Chibiusa) Oh, c'mon, at least make it a little challenging! Hey Mom, what brings you here?

(Usagi) Oh nothin, ~Usagi~, just wanted to meet your work friends, that's all.

There were only a few of them, but Usagi took the time to introduce herself to everyone as herself and not the Queen.

(Chibiusa) So, what did Luna want to discuss? She made it seem pretty important.

(Usagi) Oh... She was just reminding me of something important that I have to take care of.

(Chibiusa) Oh, ok. So she's getting on you about your job, like she always does?

(Usagi) Oh, I don't slack off that much! Anyway, I gotta go, so I'll see ya later!

Chibiusa was surprised when her mother tightly hugged her for a while, just holding her there.

(Chibiusa) Uh... Mom? Is everything okay?

(Usagi) Just remember, I will always love you, and I will always be proud of everything you do, no matter what it is you decide.

(Chibiusa) Uhh... Thanks?

Usagi walked to the door, flashing her daughter a smile before she left for the last time.

Chibiusa was confused, her mother was affectionate, but what she told her felt a little ominous. She would have to ask about it later, see if Dad knew anything.

End of Chapter 5: Holding Back