As much as she loves every little thing about being in Vermont, mornings have to be Olivia's favorite. The way the light peeks over the mountains, the cool air blowing, not yet warmed by the summer rays, the sound of birds chirping and singing. She loves to lounge in her spot in the loft, basking like a cat in the glowing sun shining through the high windows, while she drinks her one allotted caffeinated tea for the day.
Usually, she prefers to be alone, but there's something about this trip that makes her crave Fitz's company, so she pours him a cup of coffee and tugs him back up the stairs to the loft overlooking the living room. They sit snuggled closely on the chaise, content in the soft morning silence, sharing kisses every so often in between sips from their mugs.
From where she's sat, she can just barely see down the stairs and through the hallway toward Karen's and the guest rooms, and when she hears the faintest click of a door and sees a flash of black hair darting across the hallway, Liv stifles a laugh.
Moments later, a second rattling of a door echoes across the house, and a seemingly sleepy, freshly woken Karen stumbles out of her room and pads across the living room toward the kitchen. The couple upstairs watch as she grabs two mugs from the cabinet and begins pouring coffee into both, adding cream and sugar to one and leaving the other plain.
They watch in silence, not to be weird, but there just isn't anything to say. It all just feels so normal, that when Kayla emerges—re-emerges—from the guest room and grabs the sugar-filled cup and kisses her girlfriend 'good morning'—though surely not for the first time today, Olivia thinks to herself—there aren't any words to describe how comfortable it feels.
How normal. How right.
With a smiling glance to Fitz and a wordless exchange, he nods before standing up and helping her to her feet as well. They descend the stairs together, and the girls turn their heads at the encroaching sound.
"Good morning, you two," Fitz greets warmly, slinging his arm around Olivia as soon as she takes the last step, wanting to keep her as close to him as possible.
"Morning," Karen and Kayla chime in almost perfect unison.
Olivia provides her own greeting, looking knowingly at Karen who has the fondest smile on her face. "How'd everyone sleep?"
"Oh, like a baby!" Karen laughs, turning once again to Kayla. "How'd you sleep, love?"
Kayla blushes, feeling a bit exposed with how obvious Karen is being. "I slept great!"
"How's the bed in that guest room?" Fitz asks, genuinely, not picking up on the sneaky exchanges going on around him. "I've been thinking about ordering a new mattress, just because that one's getting a little old."
"Oh, it was… It was great! Perfectly comfortable. I slept really great, promise," she says, spluttering a bit and trying to regain her composure as she forces out a lie as best as she can.
Liv just smiles and shakes her head teasingly. "Well, I'm glad you guys got some good rest because it looks like we may have a busy morning. I saw in today's paper that the Farmer's Market starts at nine, and we were thinking about getting breakfast before going."
Karen nods, cuddling in closer to Kayla as they stand next to the kitchen counter, her chin resting on Kayla's shoulder as she wraps her arms around her girlfriend's waist from behind. "You're the one that's preggo. We can keep up, Liv, but don't want you to be too tired for this afternoon."
"You guys are terrible at surprises," Liv says, peering up at Fitz who's already gazing down at her. "They already told me last night, I'm not sure why you're still acting like it's a surprise."
"Well, it was supposed to be a surprise. We were just going to drop you off at the spa and pick you up several hours later, but Karen thought you would prefer to know before going, so blame her," Fitz adds, chuckling and kissing her temple.
Of course, he's not sharing with her that the spa is the least of his surprises today. There's a bowling ball of nervous excitement weighing in his gut at what is actually happening later, but he has to push it out of his mind until they are separated, and she's blissfully distracted while getting a massage.
There's too much at stake for him to mess it up at this point. So many years, so many dreams of this moment, so many seemingly failed attempts. He knows she won't say no today, but somehow that makes it even more stressful. She's going to say yes, so it has to be perfect.
Before he can get too lost in his thoughts, the girls start chatting away and making plans, and Liv finally drags him out of the kitchen and into their room to get ready.
The Rutland Downtown Farmer's Market is the most precious gathering of creatives, from woodworkers to bakers to farmers to painters. There are little tents of homemade sourdough bread and soy candles and locally sourced honey and craft cold brew coffee and hand-sewn baby bibs. The girls buy large coffees, Liv buys three bibs, and Fitz insists that they buy a plethora of baked goods to satisfy Olivia's constant cravings for carbs these days.
Walking around the outdoor market, it feels a bit odd because, of course, there are some people staring at them…Well, everyone is staring at them, like so often happens when having a small entourage of Secret Service agents surrounding their family outing. Sure, the agents are in simple street clothes like them, but the earpieces and unnecessarily large muscles and concealed firearms are all dead giveaways.
Not to mention, there's nothing inconspicuous about a former president and his highly publicized girlfriend and his incredibly evasive daughter and a completely unfamiliar young woman all walking together down the cobblestone streets. Karen and Kayla keep their distance, friendly but far away as to not draw suspicion. As much as Karen is dying to reach out and grab Kayla's hand, she knows they cannot…yet.
When they finally make it down the row of tents, they stumble upon one of the last vendors, and Karen's eye immediately catches the plethora of rainbows and the sign Vivid Vermont hanging above it. Trying not to stiffen, she starts to turn toward her dad to insist that 'it's okay, we don't need to stop', but Fitz is already ahead of her, turning toward the booth and greeting the two people working behind the table.
It's laughable, watching the faces of these two strangers shine with curiosity as they shake hands with a former conservative president of the United States. Fitz looks down and reads their name badges—Lex and River—and their respective pronoun pins affixed to their jean jackets—she/her for Lex, they/them for River.
"It's nice to meet you both," Fitz offers before extending a hand toward Karen. He introduces all of the entourage, leaving out the word "girlfriend" when introducing Kayla for Karen's sake, and starts to peruse the items in the booth.
It's a hodgepodge of Pride goods—little flags, t-shirts, bandanas, clothing of all shapes and sizes, pins, and the like. He takes note of the calendar taped to the side of the tent.
"Rutland has a Pride parade?" He asks, his tone gentle and inquisitive, but he can still tell his audience is on edge, as though they suspect he is wanting to spark some kind of political debate with them on the legality of gay marriage or equal rights amendments.
And he hates that. He hates that he has this image that couldn't be further from where his heart rests these days.
"We…yeah, we do," Lex confirms, slowly, like she's wanting to pull the Band-Aid off as slowly as possible rather than ripping it off in its entirety. "It's pretty small, of course, compared to most cities'. More just like a big party rather than an actual parade."
"Cool," Fitz comments, feeling as Liv squeezes her hand in his, giving him a little "what are you doing?" eye. "You all have sponsors?"
"Um." Lex looks to River for moral support, her wild red curls bouncing as she turns. "Yeah… Just like local businesses though. Nothing like major corporations or stuff like that… People sponsor our organization, Vivid Vermont, and we use leftover funds to host the event. Most of our funding goes to our mission of housing, mentoring, and supporting queer and trans youth who are unhoused for one reason or another."
"That's… that's amazing," Karen chimes in, stepping up closer to the table. "LGBTQ youth are so vulnerable, oftentimes they feel like no one is looking out for them. It can be incredibly isolating and scary, especially when you factor in a huge vulnerability like housing."
River immediately looks up at her, eyes widening with a mixture of surprise and understanding. "Yeah, it can be. At least, that was our experience. No one was there when my parents kicked me out. I lived on the streets for months before I was able to find a group home that was accepting of trans kids. I was only sixteen. Lex was fifteen when she was kicked out… Having support at that time would have meant everything. It would have given us a completely different life…saved us from a lot of pain. And just in general, LGBTQ youth are 120 percent more likely to be unhoused compared to their straight peers. That's why we do what we do."
Fitz looks over to Karen who is enraptured, eyes welling with tears, looking like she wished she could take away their pain and bear it herself. "I'm… I'm so sorry. No one deserves that kind of treatment, especially not as a child," she sighs.
"You're right. No one does, but for some reason, it keeps happening. Even in diverse and liberal cities like ours," Lex adds, eyeing Fitz at the mention of politics, but she's impressed when his face remains stoic, as though internally something was stirring in his soul.
In a faint voice, full of broken sadness, he finally speaks up. "How…how could someone do that? How could they turn their child away? I'm—" Then, it's his turn to well up. Quickly, he clears his throat, not wanting to embarrass these strangers with his show of emotion. "I'm sorry. It's just, I can't even imagine…"
Looking to Karen, he stares at her, wide-eyed and apologetic, communicating everything he's thinking—the sadness, the understanding, the absolute lack of understanding he has that someone could throw away this. He's had the most amazing weekend with his daughter and his girlfriend and her girlfriend, and he cannot fathom willingly throwing it away because of who Karen was born to be.
His chest aches, and all of the sudden, he feels the weight of not having done enough when he had the chance, and before he can consider the implications or the fact that he doesn't explicitly have the authority to do so, he asks if his institute can sponsor the organization.
"That's—um—that's very generous of you, President Grant," Lex offers. "But we don't really have control over that. Here's the card of our CEO. Feel free to give him a call next week, and I'm sure they'd be happy to work that out, if you're serious."
Fitz nods and thanks her, reassuring her that he is very much serious and determined to do as much good as he can now. With a second glance down to the table, a hat catches his eye—it's a weathered gray baseball cap with a little rainbow and, under it, the words Proud Dad embroidered into the fabric.
He picks it up, smiles up at the pair, and hands River a twenty-dollar bill.
"Thank you all, truly. You are making the world a better place," Fitz adds, putting his purchased hat into Liv's tote bag and bidding them farewell, promising to give their boss a call first thing on Monday.
Before they leave the booth, Karen gives the pair a small, sneaky smile and a thank you, subtly grabbing Kayla's hand where just the two of them can see and winking sheepishly. River's mouth drops open, and Lex's grin consumes her entire face. It's confirmation that they didn't need nor deserve, but it's confirmation that Karen has been dying to give. It feels good to show Kayla off. It feels good to be herself.
And of course, they could tell; these strangers could easily tell the world, sell the story before Karen gets the chance to tell it herself, sell the whole bizarre exchange that they just had with Fitzgerald Grant, but she knows deep down, after all of that, they won't.
Hours later, she's alone. Well, alone, save for the glorious woman standing above her, rubbing her hands all over her.
Liv can't believe just how relaxing this is—the press of fingertips into her muscles, the aromatherapy wafting through the dimly lit room, the soft harmonic music resonating around the space. The tension being released from her neck and shoulders, the relief she feels as her swollen feet and ankles are being massaged, the glorious outpouring of happy hormones being forced out with each second of her anxiety being lessened—it's all enough to convince her that this isn't frivolous.
In fact, in this heavenly room, she vows that she will be back as often as her midwife allows her.
This whole "taking care of herself" and "prioritizing her needs" thing is new, but maybe it is as worth it as everyone says it is. She has a lot of things she's looking forward to in the coming months and years, and to let it slip away by losing herself is not an option anymore.
She's having a baby. She wants to get married. She is going to have a family for the first time… That in of itself is reason enough to make sure she's present and available for it. So, biweekly massages and meditation and letting people in and being vulnerable—as terrible as it is—are her new habits.
Out with the wine and popcorn. In with the diapers and self-love.
It's so odd, this life she would have never imagined herself having:
This place that she loves so much. That is warm and inviting and calm. That restores her energy and her heart. That holds this profound, symbolic meaning for them as a couple. That is now going to be the place where her child enters the world.
This child, who she already loves so completely. Who is wiggling in her belly, giving her playful kicks to remind her that she's there. Who she already feels an innate sense of connection with, without even seeing her face. Who she will love unconditionally, who will teach her how to do so.
And of course, this man, who she loves so deeply. Who knows every intimate, scary part of her soul. Who knows her flaws as well as she does. Who doesn't cower away from them but embraces them as part of who she is. Who loves every part of her. Who has shown her what unconditional love looks like. Who has put her first when no one else ever has.
Who has evolved himself into an even better man than the one she met all those years ago. He's still the man she fell in love with but better—more peaceful and kinder and generous. More accepting, more forgiving, more whole.
Just this morning as she watched him interact with the LGBTQ outreach group, she felt her heart pound with love for him for everything that he's trying to do. He's trying to be the father he never had—one that shows up wholeheartedly with love and appreciation and respect for his kids. She's never felt so confident in her choice to have a child with him than she did this morning.
He loves to learn how to love his kids better and better. She's seen it with his evolving relationship with Karen. She's seen it in how he learns about Teddy's interests, even going so far as to pay a college kid who interned at the Institute last summer to teach him about video games and toys and all the other things Teddy won't shut up about.
She's seen it in how he specifically picks up Gerry's favorite chocolate cake from a bakery an hour outside of DC on his birthday and watches his favorite movie—The Godfather— on the anniversary of his death.
And she imagines how she will continue to see it when he strives to learn about their child. Like how to take care of the textured hair that Olivia knows she's going to have. How to love and celebrate her Blackness as a beautiful and vital part of who she is. How to learn all of the unique and special things about this new baby… how she likes to be rocked, the songs she prefers, how best to make her laugh.
It's been just a few weeks since they last talked about marriage but laying here, her heart nearly leaping out of her chest with love for this man, she just can't imagine what Fitz is waiting for. She figured once she gave him the green light, they would be engaged within a week, and now she finds herself a little frustrated at his unrushed pace.
They've waited years to belong to one another, and now that they are ready, she doesn't know why he's hesitating. If she didn't know how much he's been dying to propose to her, she would just make the first move herself, but she's not going to deny him the honor. Instead, she'll bring it up tonight, heavily implying just how ready she is.
After two hours of pampering, she exits the spa parlor to find Karen mischievously behind the wheel of the Escalade and Kayla sitting in the passenger seat. Liv laughs, considering what persuading the Grant had to do to convince the Secret Service to let her use the car.
She's still giggling to herself when she swings the door open and climbs in the back, greeting the girls jovially, the sense of Zen still evident in her languid body movements and relaxed smile.
"How was it, Liv?" Karen asks, teasingly eyeing her. She's seen Olivia in many different environments and situations but never this calm.
"It was amazing. Thank you two… It was quite a treat. What did you girls get to do this afternoon?"
Kayla tucks one of her knees into her chest as she turns to look at Olivia while Karen begins the journey back to the house. "Oh, not much. We found a bookstore that had a coffee shop at the back, so we ended up getting stuck there for most of the time… Can't ever pull this one away from the books…"
"Hey!" Karen gasps. "You didn't complain one bit when we were in there, and now, you want Olivia to feel sorry for you! No-no, love. Not happening."
The other two laugh playfully before settling into light chatter as they get closer and closer to the house. Olivia can't wait to see him. She can't wait to throw her arms around his neck and feel his lips on hers. She can't wait for him to say 'hi' to the baby like he always does. She can't wait to tell him how ready she is to be married to him.
When Karen pulls the car into the driveway, she instantly notices Fitz relaxing on the front porch, wearing her favorite summer outfit of his… fitted, tailored khakis with a simple blue short-sleeved, button-up shirt that makes his eyes—and biceps—pop. Liv nearly moans at the sight of him, all beautiful and sexy and hers.
Home.
"Well, don't you look de-stressed," Fitz comments, standing from the rocking chair and walking to greet her and help her out of the car.
"I am. It was amazing. You look…" Her voice trails off on a hum, and he grins softly.
"Thank you, Livvie. Wanted to clean up for you," he confesses, reeling her in and kissing her tenderly.
"You–hoo…" Karen calls, breaking their moment and making Olivia retreat. "Save it, you old folks. You've got reservations to make!"
Liv whips her head around to look at Fitz. "Huh?"
"Oh, I called to see if we could get into this new hole-in-the-wall place. It's supposed to be amazing, but they only had a table for two. Karen assured me that they could handle themselves, so we are going to dinner. Go get dressed, pretty girl."
"Um, okay, sure…" Liv replies tentatively, unfamiliar with the idea of people making plans that she's not involved in or in charge of. But in the spirit of this afternoon, she decides it's okay to be trusting, to let other people handle things like dinner plans, for once. "What should I wear?"
Fitz smiles and looks to his daughter who has already enveloped her girlfriend in a hug. "Why don't you two go help with that?"
And so, the trio sets off into the house and up the stairs to the enormous closet waiting for them. Karen insists that Olivia sit herself on the bench seat and let them work, picking items and presenting them to her for her approval, forcing her sit back and relax in the meantime.
She's still not used to this whole 'dressing with a baby bump' thing, and for that very reason, hasn't been doing it all that often, sticking to leisurewear and oversized shirts and the like. But tonight, be it the surprises or her head space or whatever, she wants to dress up for him. She wants to look pretty and show off the baby growing in her belly.
Karen and Kayla sift through the dresses on the rack in the corner of the closet, whispering to each other and plucking four or five dresses to show her. There's a flowy yellow dress, a short green one, a black sundress, another gold-ish yellow one, and lastly, an off-white, form fitting one.
Her eye catches at the last dress Karen holds up—inch-wide straps, a square-cut neckline to show off her cleavage, a ribbed texture to provide support as it clings to her body. There's bunching at the sides to allow for the fabric to stretch over her stomach, and from trying it on before, she knows that it hits right at the knees. It's simple but elegant. Sexy but reasonable.
It's perfect.
Thanking the girls for their help, she dismisses them and throws the dress on before checking on the state of her hair and makeup, touching up where necessary. She takes a few slow, deep breaths, enjoying the silence for just a few seconds, cradling her belly through the soft dress.
Her hands rub gentle circles over her bump, and for some reason, tears form in her eyes. This trip has been so special, and though she's not Karen's mom, it's making her long and ache to be this baby's.
"Hi, baby girl. It's just me… Mama, I guess. I…" She pauses, feeling sort of silly but so blissfully in love. "Your daddy and I can't wait to meet you. I just wanted to tell you that I love you. Yes, that's right… I do."
She's cooing in her best baby voice, feeling every roll and stretch the baby makes in response to her voice. It's so crazy to her how in tune she is, even though the baby is still inside of her.
"Don't worry, I'm going to feed you so soon, I know you're hungry. Just wanted to say that I love you. Thank you for making me a mama… I'm never gonna let you go, baby girl."
She slips her shoes on and gives herself a final once-over in the mirror, arranging her soft curls, fixing her lipstick one more time, before setting her gaze back down on her bump one more time.
"I can't wait until we are all a family…"
When she makes her way down the stairs and rounds the corner, Fitz's eyes nearly pop out of their sockets. She looks so beautiful, so gorgeous, so her, so confident like she's stepped out of fear and into her new role. Like she is so happy and proud to show off the fact that they are having a baby together.
It's so precious, and he has to kiss her, brushing his lips over hers faintly to not mess up the hard work she did earlier on her makeup.
"Wow, Livvie," he sighs, stepping back again to admire her. "You are beautiful."
She smiles and pecks his lips once more before suggesting they get a move on to dinner. They say goodbye to the girls, and Liv gives them a knowing grin—of course, they would be more than content with an empty house and a stocked liquor cabinet.
"You ready?"
A gentle squeeze to her hand, another soft kiss to her lips, and they are walking out the door.
It feels decidedly special, walking hand in hand tonight as they cross the threshold out of their house, like they are stepping out of what they've known and into something new. He keeps her close, his hands refusing to separate from her. Fitz helps her into the car, kissing her lips then her cheek and then the back of her hand, before he asks one more time, as though her answer might change.
"You ready?"
A/N: I'M SORRY OKAY? You all know what's going down, of course, but the chapter just got way too long, it made sense to split it into two. The second part will be posted in a few days! As always, thank you SO much for reading my silly little stories. Let me know what you think!