"Stop clapping, please." Edmund blushed as he sat down at the table. His male friends such as Cedric, Harry and Neville were the ones clapping, Neville was reluctant to do so but was perhaps pressured by Harry, who thought it was all funny. On the contrary, the girls looked as if they were ready to pounce on him, torture all the details of his evening out of him.

He gulped and sat down, managing to avoid eye contact with Hermione who sat in the midst of it all. She looked a bit lost, Edmund knew why because ever since Lavender and Ron had made it official that they were dating she had been like that. Whether he liked it or not, Edmund understood the feeling of being lost in your own thoughts and feelings. He had the same moments as she has whenever he sees her staring at him with that glint in her eyes. "Edmund?" He tore his eyes away from her sombre posture and trained his eyes onto Susan who called out his name.

"It was fine." Edmund said and pulled his jacket closer to him. He couldn't help but feel cold in the rather lukewarm room they were in. "I told her what I had to tell her." Susan knew what he meant and by the looks of Padma nodding along his words, he knew that Padma knew what he was talking about as well. "We're better off as friends rather than a couple." Edmund cleared his throat, "Besides, it's not like it was going anywhere. The only thing we have in common is quidditch."

"And you two didn't kiss?" Padma asked, Hermione sat still next to her with that same gaze. Edmund clenched his jaw and focused back on the people who showed their interest. He pursed his lips and shrugged.

"We did." He admitted to the Ravenclaw. "I think we both knew that it was a goodbye kiss, and our last one at that." Edmund saw the movements from the corner of his eyes, noticing and seeing that most of the students were making their way out of the Great Hall and to whatever place they desire to. It was a saturday and most were dressed in muggle clothes.

Edmund's eyes glanced over to the Staff table, all the usual people were seated but the one he wanted to see was missing. "Anyone seen Hagrid?" He asked. Harry choked on his drink and Edmund questioningly looked over at him.

"Hagrid wanted to meet us at midnight." Harry whispered to him. Edmund looked confused at his brother.

"Why?"

"Don't know."

Edmund clicked his tongue and nodded. "I can't, I have a meeting." He muttered and stood up, Cedric had left a long while ago as he only came to tease Edmund by embarrassing him with clapping and whistling loudly. Padma and Hermione had left soon after the table fell quiet, Padma had been dragged out by a whispering Hermione.

"Should we study?" Edmund asked Harry quietly. Neville and Susan were talking to one another. Harry quietly shook his head as he looked back at the Gryffindor table. "You're going to try and get through to Ron again, aren't you?"

"Yes."

Edmund smiled and stood up, patting Harry's back. "That's fine." His smile was forced, it wasn't fine, it was ridiculous that Ron even held a grudge. "I'll see what I can find in the library." Frustrating was crackling in Edmund and he didn't know why.

It could be because he just couldn't get over Hermione and had missed his chance to be with someone who genuinely wanted to get to know him. It could be because he had to participate in some stupid honorary battle between schools. "Edmund, it's a saturday." Susan raised his eyebrows at him.

"Right." Edmund nodded, "What about it?"

"Don't you have your meetings with Professor Dumbledore around this time?" Edmund blinked a few times as he nearly forgot, he wondered how'd he forget about his routine. "Are you sure that you're fine?" She asked and Edmund nodded, his mouth as dry as a desert.

"Yeah. I just have to get my notes before I head over to his office." Edmund said and smiled at them friendly as he walked away. Every now and then a younger student would wave excitedly or an older one would clap his back as he walked past.

He quickly entered the Hufflepuff common room and headed over to his room to grab the notes hidden from sight underneath a fake layer of his drawer. He tapped them onto the desk and stuck them between a book before grabbing a scarf and wrapping it around his neck. The cold tantalised his ache for the warmth of a July sun, it ran up his hands to his arms and down to his spine.

He walked out of the homey common room and took in a breath as he faced an empty corridor. All he had to do now was walk across the yard to get to Dumbledore's office. Since the morning he had felt off-balanced, there was something that he just couldn't pin it on and it was bothering him. He could feel it by the way he walked and then again by the way he didn't smile or hum a song as he walked. He even felt bothered that there wasn't a single soul in the corridor.

The shine of light revealed the floating dust particles in the air as he pushed open the door to the courtyard. Only a few first years stood outside, Edmund guessed that they were taking a break from their studying, they stood huddled around a little fire. A colour of nostalgia entered his dull chest as he looked at them, a Ravenclaw, a Hufflepuff and a Gryffindor. It was as if he was thrown back to the first year of his time as a student at Hogwarts. In his eyes, there stood he besides Hermione, trying to sneak a glance in her direction without having Ron or Harry notice him looking as if she hung up all the stars for him.

The colour disappeared when he heard them speak, it wasn't Hermione's voice or Ron's high pitched nasal one. The pep in his step disappeared as he pushed yet again another door to the main castle. He nodded at a few people as he walked up to the gargoyles and whispered his family motto.

The usual groan of moving statues sounded and Edmund held back a cringe, knowing that the gargoyles watched him closely, as a protector should. He stepped up the swirling staircase, the cold of the stones crept through his sole. "Ah, young Edmund." Dumbledore said and waved his hand, the stove fired up. "Come boy, sit down."

Edmund hung up his scarf and jacket, pulled back the chair, placed down his notes on the desk and sat down in front of the man. "Hello Professor, how have you been?" He asked gently. The frustration wasn't visible anymore, whenever he was close to an authority figure his back straightens and his ugly feelings ebb away.

"I've been rather fine." Edmund was about to mention what day it was yesterday and make sure that his mentor was fine. "Even though it was a day to remember, I mourn the potential of what my life would have been if it weren't for our fixation."

It was unspoken but Edmund nodded, 'I mourn the things that I had missed out on, every single day.' Most of the time people who had ever had the pleasure to meet and even listen to Dumbledore speak didn't understand what he was saying. But to Edmund it was as clear as day, knowing the life Dumbledore had led before becoming the figure of who he is this time of day. Edmund agreed with Dumbledore, even though he was merely fifteen years old he understood that the weight on someone's shoulder can make them bend a knee and make them think of everything that they had missed out on.

Grief was in both of their eyes as the crickets sounded between their silence, "You're too young to know all that is happening around you, young Edmund." Dumbledore said with a tone Edmund had heard only once before, when the student had safely returned from the Chamber of Secrets, escaping from his narrow death. "But life has forced your hand."

Edmund let go of his ring, "I live with the understanding that I can't change my past, and I am fine with that, sir. The hand that I was dealt with isn't as bad as others." Edmund hadn't noticed the Professor preparing the tea behind the desk.

"You reflect too much on yourself." Steam arose from the tea cup, Edmund could see the faint figures of porcelain birds move. "Perhaps that is a positive enforcement, especially with what is coming soon." Edmund looked up from the teacup and looked at his mentor's face, hoping to find a clue of what he was talking about. "Compare yourself too much with the others and you'll find your own worth declining."

Edmund took in the scent of the tea to find comfort in, the hidden caution of Dumbledore's words weighed heavily on his mind. "So is it better to not think about it all the time?"

"For your own safety."

Edmund nodded, after that the conversation steered away from hidden caution tales and rather into the politics of what the Triwizards tournament is and how many attributes each Champion has, they even analysed Harry which made guilt climb up his throat. Then when their session was over, Edmund walked down the stairs once again, the unfriendly weather ignored because his body was heating up, as if he just had a lesson in acupuncture where he was the patient, his nerves were on fire and just like every lesson his mind raced afterwards, sometimes for an hour and once for three days.

"How was your meeting with Professor?" Susan asked as she was paging through her book. She looked cosy in her casual nightwear, by the fire with a book on her lap. Edmund ached for a time where he had time to do that, or where he could just be in silence for a few hours.

He put down the books on the coffee table in front of her and sat down, stretching out his legs so that his feet could warm up by the fire. "It was okay." He said and blinked a few times when Susan slapped her book shut.

"What is it, Edmund? You've been moping around like a lost puppy." She said and Edmund hadn't heard her be so fierce before. He was surprised at her furrowed eyebrows and small eyes.

He could lie to her, but she would know. "I'm just out of it, woke up with some stone in my shoe." He said metaphorically. "But I think that the reason why is-"

"Hermione." Susan's harsh composure dissolved into something a lot softer. Like she always has been, she knew that Edmund had his moments and that even she had her moments, but as his best friend, she was just taking care of him just like he does of her.

Edmund sighed and that was all she needed to know. "It always comes back to Hermione." The orange light of the fire shone onto Susan's face. "I shouldn't live like this but I still do regardless."

Susan put the book on the stand beside her empty cup of tea. "You shouldn't, Edmund. The problem is that I don't think you can. She is always around, we're friends with her, we share classes with her, we study with her and we talk with her." Edmund's hand held onto his necklace, the memory of his mother and father's vows were in there. "I mean this in the nicest way that I can, but I think that you should give up."

His eyes shot up to her illuminated blue ones. "Give up?" He asked.

"You aren't living when you're stuck on someone who is already moving on." His mouth dried up and he realised that she was right. How could he be so hung up on Hermione without ever having anything romantic with her, it was a silly child crush.

"It's silly, isn't it." He voiced his thoughts. "How she's someone I've liked since our second year. It's a silly crush." He wasn't telling his thoughts anymore but was rather trying to convince himself of his own words.

"Since our first year." Susan corrected him, "You only admitted it during our second year." The cackling fire sounded and Edmund looked over. "I love you like a brother but your crush was cute at first, but when I noticed how she treated you and saw how Ron acted after he finally got together with Lavender. Your crush shouldn't be like how Hermione likes Ron. It should be like Cedric and Cho, Cedric is genuinely and utterly in love with her. The way he talks about her makes her head spin around and make me swoon." Edmund smiled at the little remark about Cedric sneaked into her speech.

"What I'm trying to say, Hermione only makes your stomach drop and your face pout when it should be your hands that need to sweat and your heart beat whenever she nears." Susan stood up and grabbed her book. "I wish that you find someone like that, even if it is Hermione. I hope for you that she will be over Ron and actually smitten with you."

"It's a push and pull motion with her, repeatedly." Edmund said quietly as he waved his hand, the teacup levitated over to the kitchen. "Thank you for not getting tired of me."

Susan smiled as she watched the teacup disappear away, she walked over to Edmund and put a hand on his shoulder. "You're my brother just like how I am your sister." She said, "I will stick by you every time that there can be."

Edmund looked at the unpredictable flames of the fire and put a hand over hers. "As do I with you."

"You better." She snorted, ruining the soft moment of the two of them. "I need you to stick up for me because you're built like a goddamn wall." Edmund let out a stifled laugh and shook his head.

"Goodnight, Suzie." He called out as she walked away to her dorm.

"Call me that again and I will fill your shoe with shaving cream!" Her voice was faint but it got the message across. He wondered if Susan will ever get a boyfriend who doesn't deserve her, what he'd do then. Most likely would be that Edmund would scare him off or show Susan that he isn't right for him.

He stood up and grabbed his notes, his head was turned over to look in the direction of the girls' dorms, he hadn't expected to see her as a sister when they first met in their quest of finding Neville's toad. Edmund was glad that there was a little thing such as fate.

—

"It is always raining here." Fleur complained and Edmund just snorted as he held the umbrella in the direction of the rain, minimising the drops that would fall onto her head. It was a sunday morning, the day before their first task. He was being mother henned by Susan and motivated with short sentences out of a 'power-mind' book from Neville.

"Bienvenue en Angleterre." Edmund said, playfully and Fleur let out a gasp as she stepped in a puddle of water. At an instant Edmund's wand was aimed down at her feet, with his mouth shut, he casted a spell. The water was sucked out by an invisible vacuum and returned to the puddle. "It is bad luck, unless someone else splashes you." He said and held open the door for her.

"Thank you." Fleur said, "You're being too nice against your competition." Edmund raised an eyebrow at her, "I have seen you talk to Viktor." Edmund let out a breath as the necklace suddenly felt like five pounds around his neck.

"Mother said to be good and nice. That was always her advice, every year." Edmund knew it wasn't a good time to be reminded of when his mother was around, or when his birthday would come around and end in a crushing reality without her.

Fleur looked up at him in mild surprise and she nodded. "My little sister is like that." They are showing a card to each other, no matter what card it was, but both knew it was as fragile as glass. "I don't know what led her to be so mature about herself."

Edmund took in a breath and nodded. The chatter sounded from the Great Hall and he folded up his umbrella. "The first task is dragons." She said quietly and Edmund recoiled his head to look at her, as if he didn't hear her the first time.

"Dragons?" He whispered, the calm before the storm feeling had settled on them like a fog but now it felt acidic, as if was burning him from the inside out. "How many, which ones?" He asked and looked around, "Can you even tell me this, are we even supposed to know of this?"

Fleur straightened her back and shook her head. "Normally no." She said her accent was nearly incomprehensible with how soft they were whispering to one another. "But I don't think that your headmaster would tell you, breaking the rules and such."

Edmund let out a breath that he was holding, "Thank you." He whispered. The two of them walked to the open doors of the Great Hall, before she walked over to the other end of the Hufflepuff table, Edmund caught onto her arm and whispered a 'Thank you' once again, in her ear and pressed a soft kiss against her cheek.

"Bonne chance, Edmund." She said before walking over to her Beauxbatons friends, some who were glaring at him. He walked over to the end of the Hufflepuff table before he was stopped by a hand on his chest. He looked down to follow the hand up to the owner.

"Roger?" He asked.

"Don't you dare kiss her cheek like that again!" He whispered in a low, threatening voice. Edmund raised his eyebrows, he hadn't meant it romantically and didn't know what the Ravenclaw captain's problem was until he saw the silver shine around his eyes.

"Ah." Edmund took a hold of his hand and glanced over to the Gryffindor table, to see Harry looking curiously and Katie looking concerned. He gave her a small smile before letting go of his hand. "You should only go after your genuine feelings, there are others out there for you."

Roger looked like he wanted to make a bigger scene but Edmund just continued down the path and to his friends, where he just explained it with a single word, "Veela." Susan nodded knowingly.

"I had to hold back Neville so that he wouldn't trip over his words like a common English fool." Edmund snorted and shook his head. "How come it doesn't affect you? Because I know that kiss on the cheek was a calculated risk."

Edmund's eyes glanced up at the staff table to see Headmistress Maxime looking over at him with daggers in her eyes while Karkaroff curiously peered over at him. "Make enemies, make them weary and keep them close."

Neville just shook his head, "That could work for someone like Dumbledore, but you get too personal with them, Edmund." The Hufflepuff said. Susan nodded beside him.

Edmund just grumbled and shrugged, "It got her classmates glaring at me." He leant forward a bit and looked at the end of the table where he made eye contact with three angry students dressed in a periwinkle uniform.

"Dragons." Harry whispered as he abruptly sat down next to his brother. "Hagrid showed me that there will be dragons."

Edmund blinked, "I know brother dear." He whispered back. "We trained for this."

"You mean that you did. I didn't do anything during our study sessions." Harry whispered back. Edmund let out a slightly annoyed breath and nodded at him.

"Fine, I'll bring my notes and we'll go over them in the library. We'll also practise a few spells against dragons." Harry nodded and patted his shoulder as a sign of brotherly affection. "After breakfast!"

Harry was up and away. Edmund watched his brother with an overwhelming feeling of concern. There was no way that Harry would be able to drop out. "He'll be fine." Neville said.

"You two survive the weirdest things." Susan scoffed. "I don't know how you do it, I jump down a stair and I break a leg. You two jump down a tube and you end up in a game of hide and seek with a basilisk."

Edmund let out an amused breath, "Consider it as luck."