"I'm sorry for what I said Johanna."
This was the first words she allowed me to speak free from interruption. I needed to apologize for my mistake, and I took advantage of this moment and went for it.
"If I had known about your past," I continued. "I wouldn't dare have said something like that. Everything that has been going on has made me hostile and volatile. I'm really, really sorry."
Johanna wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes and stared at me. She made her way to where I was at the edge of the bed, and I could not help but wince in anticipation of what could come.
"Why would that have made a difference, Katniss?" She says, fixing me with an unwavering stare. "You don't quite understand the power that words can have, do you? What you said cut deep. Deeper than anything I had felt in a while." I hear her choke back a sob and cannot help but feel worse. "After I won my Games, and was asked to whore myself out," she continues. "Part of me knew the consequences of saying no. But I also knew that I couldn't stoop to the level of being a common courtesan for the bastards that put me in the Arena in the first place. I was threatened with death and ridiculed, but I was ready for it. I welcomed it with open arms as I knew they couldn't hurt me anymore. While a victor of my Games, I died out there in the Arena. Mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, I was broken, never to be whole again. I was called brave by many for opposing the Capitol. But I would've never guessed that because of my 'bravery', my family and those closest to me would be targeted. They died because of me. And that is a burden that I will have to carry on my shoulders for the rest of my life. Not only that they died because of me. But that it should've been me. I should've died in the Arena. Without me, my family would still be here."
She steps closer to me, close enough that I can see the intensity in her eyes.
"If it was up to me, I would tell you to fuck off and the hell with the rebellion. But this is now bigger than just you and I. Millions have and will continue to be affected. If I can do one right in my life, let it be getting back at those snakes for what they've done to me, my family, and countless others."
A feeling of shame makes my cheeks go bright red and Johanna seems to notice as a snarky grin comes across her face. I drop my eyes from hers, knowing that my sacrifices paled in comparison to hers. She's bested me and she knows it.
Time for her to rub it in.
Before another word could be said, Haymitch is adjacent to us, placing a hand on each of our shoulders. "We've established that words hurt. Now all these emotions you two are feeling right now need to be aimed towards the Capitol, more importantly towards Snow. He the culprit behind all of this. From the execution of your family Johanna to the torturing of Peeta. He can longer be allowed to systematically be the cause of so much cruelty in this world." He lowers his hand from our shoulders and glances between us both. "But first, we need to get to the bottom of what Plutarch is up to. And to do that we need to act like a team. Without all of us in this as one, we are destined to fail. Now, ladies, can we put our differences aside and work together?"
I finally looked up from the floor and I'm met by Johannas fiery eyes once again. But the animosity they once held is now gone and replaced with the apprehension of the situation at hand. I reach my hand out, hoping she meets mine in solidarity. She gives me a quick up-and-down look and meets her hand with mine.
"As much as I hate agreeing, he's right. It'll take all of us to topple the Capitol." Her grip is light at first but eventually transforms into that of a death-grip, turning my hand white from blood loss. "But don't think or a second that I completely trust you. I know that for you, if it was a choice between the Rebellion and Peeta, you'd choose him over us in a heartbeat. Also meaning you'd choose him over me." She releases her grip and blood begins to flow back into my fingers. She was still surprisingly strong given her enfeebled state.
She wasn't wrong. Was Peeta my Achilles heel?
"Do you trust her with your life Haymitch?" she says to him, making him look at me then to the floor.
"At first no," he says, his eyes meeting mine once again. "But now, I do. 100%. And when the time comes, I know she'll make the right choice."
His sudden view of me startled me, but the lack of alcohol on his breath made me realize he was telling the truth.
Johanna lets out an exaggerated sigh, making it loud on purpose. "I still have some doubts. But maybe you'll prove me wrong. Just don't get in my way. Or they'll have to save you from me."
Haymitch claps, seemingly breaking the tension in the room with the noise. "Alrighty then, let's get down to business. We need to find out who Plutarch is in contact with. Johanna has done her share by crawling into the lion's den herself and giving us some vital information. Now it's our turn Katniss. You ready?"
I straighten my back and nod, like a soldier ready to take an order from his commanding officer.
"We need to get back into Plutarch's quarters somehow," Haymitch continues. "And sending Johanna again may raise some alarms."
"Yeah," Johanna says. "There's no way I'm getting into bed with minuteman again. That was a one-and-done deal."
"So we'll have to find a way inside. Or at least get our hands on his laptop somehow."
"What about when he's eating supper?" I ask. "He leaves his room to get dinner from the canteen, right?"
Haymitch nods. He turns away from us and begins to rummage through the dresser next to his bed, eventually pulling out a silver disk. "He's gone only for a short time, but that time should be enough that you can insert this disk into his laptop. With this we can begin monitoring his activity remotely through my laptop. He won't know I'm connected to it, and we'll see everything he's up to. I'll try to bullshit with him a bit, giving you some extra time just in case."
"And I'll be here nice and comfy," Johanna chimes in. She makes herself comfortable on the stained mattress, lying on her back and kicking her feet in the air.
"You do that," Haymitch says to her. "You've done enough." He faces me again, rolling his eyes at Johanna's antics. "Now, he usually heads down for his food around six. I'll try to get him whiles he's exiting his room and place something on the door so he can't successfully lock it. I want you around the corner sweetheart, ready to be in and out as fast as you can. You need to insert this into his laptop, download the necessary drivers, make sure to eject and destroy the disk, and hightail it out of there. Can you do that?"
"I can." I respond back. I felt empowered by Haymitch's words, and a new feeling of optimism hit me.
"Then let's get this party started."
Authors Note:
Feels good to be back in the spirit of writing. It's been a while since I've felt the excitement of it again. Another week, another chapter down. Hope you enjoyed this one! The story is slowly reaching it's conclusion and I hope to surprise you all with it! Make sure to leave a review if you enjoy this story! Thank you all for the continued support.