Chapter 33

Ga Eul was dozing off on a chair watching Yi Jung in and out of sleep. He'd been in a catatonic state ever since the incident. His eyes were empty. Sometimes she would notice glances of shame or guilt in his eyes. Other than that, he'd remained silent. It had been a week, going to the hospital for checkups and scans of his hand. The injury was severe. The doctors aren't showing enough hope for Yi Jung to have full mastery of his hands anytime soon. Even if, they aren't sure it would be the same as before.

Ga Eul had to carry Yi Jung ever since she watched his hand being crushed. It had all happened so fast, and she cursed herself for not being able to see it coming. If only it were her hands, she thought to no avail. When the ambulance rushed him to the hospital, she had to remain strong for the both of them, but when Jan Di and the rest of the guys appeared, she finally broke down, telling them all that had happened.

It was the guy who pushed her's friend who crushed Yi Jung's hand and his future. He was trying to defend his friend before he realized just who exactly did he mess with. She didn't want to imagine everything the F4 must have done to him by now. The thought sent a chill down her spine. Their eyes were murderous when she told them what had transpired.

While she seethed every time she remembered his hand under that guy's foot, she had no time to dwell on her anger. All that mattered to her was Yi Jung. She knew his parents were horrid, but nothing could have prepared her for that dinner. The way they talked about Yi Jung as if he were a mere chess piece made her sick to her stomach. While her parents weren't perfect adult figures, they still were capable of love. Maybe not for her, but they did have it in them. But Yi Jung's parents were a different kind of evil. Pure filth.

She couldn't blame Yi Jung for the way he acted after the dinner. She only wished she could protect him, but no one could protect Yi Jung from his mind. And his parents knew how to sweep their words into his.

He had been taking sleeping pills to get some sleep, and Ga Eul would be there if he woke up. He seemed annoyed by her constant presence, but that didn't deter her from being by his side. Since her exams had started, she left his side only to take the exams and then return home to him.

She sometimes heard him grumble apologies in his sleep. She didn't understand why he was apologetic. More importantly to whom? If anything, he was the one who deserved the apology. His pleas for forgiveness almost drove her to insanity. She wanted to talk to him. To get to him, and make him understand better. But she knew she couldn't. These were the demons he had to fight alone. The one thing she could do was be there as he tortured himself in sleep while she watched.

"Please, don't go. I'm sorry. It's all my fault." He cried as he woke up. His eyes were disoriented as if he wasn't familiar with his room.

"It's okay. You're okay now." Ga Eul cooed taking his side by the bed. She held his shaking head in her hands. He looked petrified as he took her in. Then he crushed her in a hug as he trembled. She rubbed his back and lulled him back to sleep. It wasn't the first time that had happened.

He woke up again not long after that and passed by Ga Eul, who was still sleeping by the chair, without acknowledging her to go to the bathroom. She took that opportunity to freshen up herself and prepare breakfast for the both of them before she headed off to her exam.

She had to work her way around the unfamiliar kitchen. Even after a week, she couldn't remember where everything was.

"I tried to make us some scrambled eggs, but cooking isn't my forte like you." She apologised over breakfast. She knew he was going to eat silently, barely passing her a glance. Still, she tried. She wasn't going to give up.

"After my exam today, let's hang out with the rest of the guys and Jan Di. They all miss you terribly."

He nodded his head and took his plate to the sink after he finished. She sighed, watching him. He didn't look unkempt. His hair was brushed and clean. He made sure to keep himself proper after all that happened, refusing Ga Eul's help every time she offered it, despite the blatant grimace on his face whenever he moved his hand the wrong way. When they went to the hospital for his scans, he made sure to look perfect. He didn't want anyone to think he had fallen. How can such a strong man be so delicate? He knew how to look and play the part all while being so tender and frail that Ga Eul wanted nothing more than to protect him in her arms.

She left him a note on his bedroom door before she left to take her exam, telling him that she would drive them to the F4's den after her exam. She tried as much as he could let her not to make him use his hand. He was easily persuaded into letting her be his chauffeur since he was struggling. His not suggesting to use his family's chauffeur made her hope that he inwardly liked being taken care of by her. At that point, Ga Eul had to interpret his every single move because he barely uttered a word.

She hoped beyond hope that she would at least be able to graduate with a high school degree, knowing how badly she was doing on these exams. She barely had any time to focus on anything.

Her eyes squeezed shut at the intrusion of heavy sunlight as she went out of the school gates. She rested her head against her back, taking in a deep breath to calm down. She had never been this alone since she had met Yi Jung. She wanted to get him back. She wanted everything to be as okay as it could get, but her life seemed to return to its original point.

She walked to a cafe near her school, needing a few moments to think alone. She took a table at the far end of the cafe and ordered some caffeine to help her think. She had promised to meet up with Jan Di and the F4 there after the exam. They needed to talk before they all meet up with Yi Jung.

If Yi Jung's state didn't get any better soon, she might have to cancel her plans to leave. She wasn't going to leave him alone when he needed her most. Of course, she would have to look for therapists to help him get out of his head. She had mentioned that to the guys the day before, and they didn't look in favour of the idea, but they all agreed that they had no other options.

His parents had known about the incident by God knows who, and they had been restless since. They visited him at the hospital once he was admitted, but Jun Pyo made sure they only saw him once when he was asleep. Since then, Woo Bin has been giving them vague updates. They knew that his state would deteriorate if he saw them.

The door to the cafe opened, pulling her out of her daze. They sat down once they saw her, ignoring the creeping glances their way as few people recognized them.

"How's he today, Ga Eul?" Jan Di was the first to ask her, taking a sip from Ga Eul's coffee.

"He's the same. He doesn't talk or even look my way."

"I had been hoping that being beside you would make him better." Ji Hoo said.

"Well, it isn't. I have been trying everything, but I feel like I'm making him worse. I just can't get to him." Ga Eul's voice broke. Jan Di took her hand, trying to calm her.

"Me and Jun Pyo have been speaking with the doctors. They're saying there's a physical therapy program that might help him."

"That's great! Why haven't you said anything earlier?" Ga Eul asked.

"There's a catch. It's in Sweden. I'm not sure Yi Jung would be able to go there given his mental state." Woo Bin said.

"I think you should go with him, Ga Eul." Jun Pyo suggested. "We can tell him about it today, and he can think of it as a romantic getaway for you two."

"How long will it take?" Ga Eul asked, sceptical.

"With an injury like his. It could take up to five years. The doctors told us about this program after intense research. We have been on their necks ever since his injury. It's the only solution up till now that looks promising. The sooner he takes action the better." Woo Bin said.

"Oh God, how are we going to convince him? We can't tell him it's a romantic getaway for heaven's sake. It could take years. Hell, he looks like he wants nothing to do with me. You don't see the way he's been treating me. I know it's my fault. I should've acted quicker. I should've done something." Ga Eul exclaimed, putting her head between her hands.

"Don't say that. Yi Jung is an adult. He made some questionable decisions. It's up to him to make it up to himself." Ji Hoo said.

"If I could've left him alone that way, or if I could've prevented him from going altogether."

"Stop blaming yourself. I know it's easier to point fingers and be mad at someone, but that won't solve anything. There wasn't anything we could've done to help him. What's important is that he gets better now." Jan Di said.

"We'll try to convince him tonight. Maybe he would respond if he sees us all encouraging him." Ji Hoo said.

"I hope so."

They had tried as much as possible to act normal. After their meet-up, Ga Eul returned home to freshen up and take Yi Jung with her to the den. It had been a while since they all had a gathering, so they tried not to put too much pressure on him.

He sat on a leather chair, swirling a glass of whiskey in his hand, while they all talked, trying to catch up. He seemed bored of them. Even furious. Ga Eul stole a few glances at him and understood why he seemed to be off-put by them. He knew what they were trying to do. It was too obvious to dance around. They couldn't act like life had been normal these past few days. It wasn't. But Ga Eul was at least glad that he began to show some kind of emotion again. It didn't matter that he looked like he was going to murder them all.

"How are you holding up, Jan Di?" Ga Eul asked.

"Better than expected, I guess? I want the exams to be over though. I want a good night's sleep." Jan Di replied, leaning her head on Ga Eul's shoulder.

"My grandfather is more excited about you going to med school than me." Ji Hoo commented.

"Are you sure you're going to switch schools?" Woo Bin asked.

"Yes, after this semester ends."

"Good for you man." Woo Bin patted him on the back.

"So I'm the only one without a plan, then?" Ga Eul asked, sarcastically.

"Looks like it." Jun Pyo replied. Ga Eul threw a cushion on him, making duck, laughing.

"But for real. What are you going to do?" Woo Bin asked, his question holding two meanings. He was giving her the signal to talk about the program.

"I'm still sure that I want to travel. But maybe I could settle down in one place for a while. I'm not so sure." She replied. It was too obvious what they were doing. But Yi Jung left them no choice in the matter. It was better than nothing.

"How convenient." Yi Jung commented.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ji Hoo asked.

"I suppose Ga Eul's plan to settle down in one country has nothing to do with Sweden?" He smashed his whiskey glass on the table.

"You knew?" Ga Eul asked, surprised.

"Of course, I knew. I'm not an idiot. Did you think I wouldn't see into your little intervention? You thought you were all slick, making Ga Eul babysit me? "

"What the fuck is wrong with you? We're all worried about you, and this is how you think of us?" Ga Eul shouted.

"Helping me? You feel sorry for me. I don't need your pity." He seethed.

"Why would I pity you? This program could help you get better, and I'm willing to go with you until you get better. Just like I know you would do for me."

"I'm NOT getting better." He was enraged, his eyes going up in flames as he shouted back, getting up from his seat.

"You've been injured for a week, and you're giving up? Yi Jung, I can't imagine how hard it is for you, but you need to trust us." Her voice got softer, pleading. She saw his angry frame for what it was—which was hurt and exhausted. She knew he wasn't in his right senses.

"Yi Jung, stop taking your anger out on Ga Eul. We all planned this for you. You haven't been responsive for a week now." Jan Di explained.

"You treat me like I'm a lost child. I know what's good for me or not. I have nothing left to salvage. This hand is useless now. I know it's hard for you to grasp, but everything I have, everything I own, is gone. So let. Me. Be." He snared.

Ga Eul flinched as he smashed the door of the den behind him.

"This went well." Woo Bin remarked.

"Let's give him some space. Maybe he does need to be alone." Ji Hoo suggested.

"I don't know about that. I think it's better if Ga Eul tries to talk to him again. Not today. Either way, it's not his choice whether he goes to Sweden or not." Jun Pyo said.

"What do you mean by that?" She asked

"You think the matter of his hand affects only him? There's an uproar between his family members right now. I'm talking about the whole So family. Some are saying he's become unfit to be the heir because of his hand." Jun Pyo elaborated.

"What? It's only been a week!" Ga Eul exclaimed.

"I'm surprised they haven't called him for a family meeting, yet." Woo Bin said.

"Does that mean he won't be able to inherit?" Jan Di asked, concerned.

"I doubt it. Even with an injured hand, his talent would still be better than all his family members combined. And he's the purest of the bloodline. But that doesn't mean that vultures wouldn't see that as an opportunity to step in. If he wants to keep the respect he has, he'll have to step up once and for all, and what better way than to go heal his hand?" Ji Hoo said.

"It is really like a blood bath." Ga Eul said, remembering the mural. The king had control over his people. That included family members.

Ga Eul parked the Lotus at the studio. She went to the penthouse and didn't find him there. If she couldn't find him in the studio either, she had no choice but to go to the cabin they once rested in. These were the only properties Yi Jung had that Ga Eul was aware of.

She drew a sigh of relief when she opened the door to find Yi Jung there. He was looking at the shelves displaying all the masterpieces he had made over the years.

"I can't let you be." Ga Eul admitted, standing beside him.

"I apologize for my outbreak earlier. It was rude of me. But what I said still stands. If you feel guilty or burdened by my injury, then I clear you of all blame. Not that I need to. It's not your fault, but I know you would feel responsible. You're free to do as you please." He said, not looking at her. His hands were in both pockets, but she could see they were made into fists.

"Why are you pushing me away? I thought that you would never want space from me." She said, her voice rasped. She was scared that he didn't want her anymore. She knew she was being ridiculous, but she missed him.

"That was before. I know things aren't the same anymore, so I don't want to hold you back."

"What things aren't the same? Yi Jung, I don't understand at all." She grabbed his arm, making him look at her. His eyes have never been this cold to her.

"You don't have to hold it in anymore. I know how it must've felt that day. And now that my hand is gone, you don't have to entertain me anymore. You're smarter than to hold onto damaged goods."

"What?" Ga Eul asked, taking a step back in shock.

"See? I understand. You don't have to explain anything to me." He replied.

"Listen to me here, Yi Jung." She said, grabbing his head in her hands forcefully. He took a sharp breath in surprise at her sudden closeness.

"I don't give a flying fuck about what your parents said at that dinner. I won't stand here, and listen to you tell me about how I feel. What is all that talk about damaged goods? Is that what you think of me? You're being a hypocrite. You're the one who gets mad when you think I'm undermining your feelings, but what do you think you're doing now? I will not let you be whether you like it or not because I love you. So damn much, and you know it. You know me too well to know whether I'm lying or not. Do I look like I'm lying to you?" She said, looking him hard in the eyes.

"No." He replied, his eyes searching hers in wonder and relief.

"Good." She said, taking his injured hand from his pocket. She took it in hers admiring it and placed a long kiss on it. He watched her in confusion as if he couldn't believe his eyes.

"This hand bandaged mine not too long ago. Do you know how precious it is to me? So you can imagine how sad I am that it's now hurt. I'm going to do everything to make it better again. Just like you did to me. Since that day, you have made my life brighter. Better. I don't plan on letting you be for a very long time, Yi Jung. So give up. Give in to me. Let me help you like I'm supposed to do." She whispered, still holding his hand.

"You still want me?" He replied, his voice shaking.

"I never stopped. I don't want you to assume things on your own again. Own up to your feelings like I will." She said, reciting his words.

"I'm being greedy right now." He said, stepping closer to her, and taking a strand of her hair.

"You aren't. But if that's how you name it then I want you to be greedy with me all the time. If you find yourself believing anything your parents said, then come to me to remind you how wonderful you are."

"Ga Eul, I don't know what to do or think anymore. I am so confused and tired." He admitted.

"It's okay. I know. Let's go home for today, and we'll figure things out one by one. Lean on me."

"Is this what you want?" He asked, still hesitant.

"Yes!" She breathed.

"God, I missed you. I missed you every day." He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in.

"Me, too. So don't push me out again." She said, hiding her face in his chest.

"Never. I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologize."

His hold tightened, and he let his muscles relax. She finally got her Yi Jung back, and she didn't plan on letting go.