Good Boy
The four stood in the shadows of Valencia Boulevard, looking up at the gold letters etched in black marble: DOA RECORDING STUDIOS.
Underneath, stencilled on the glass doors was: NO SOLICITORS, NO LOITERING, NO LIVING.
It was now almost midnight, yet the lobby looked like it was full of people. Behind the security desk sat a rather tough looking guard with sunglasses and an earpiece.
"Okay. You remember the plan." Percy said to his friends.
"The plan." Grover gulped. "Yeah. I love the plan."
"What happens if the plan doesn't work?" Annabeth asked.
"Wow, we haven't even started and you're thinking negatively." Lykos groaned.
"Right." She snarked back. "We're entering the Land of the Dead, and I shouldn't think negatively."
Percy took the four pearls he got from the Nereid out of his pocket, looking unsure as to how they can be any good as backup.
Annabeth then put her hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. You guys are right, we'll make it. It'll be fine."
She then gave Grover a nudge.
"Oh, right!" He chimed in. "We got this far. We'll find the master bolt and save your mom. No problem."
The two boys looked at them and were grateful.
Percy then slipped the pearls back into his pocket. "Let's whoop some Underworld butt."
The four walked into the DOA lobby.
Muzak was playing softly on hidden speakers. The carpet and walls were all steel grey. Pencil cactuses grew in the corners like skeleton hands. All the furniture was black leather and every single seat was taken.
People sat on couches, people stood up, people stared out the windows or waited for the elevator. No one moved, talked or did anything, really.
Out of the corner of his eye, Lykos saw them all perfectly fine, yet if he focused on any one of them, they started looking transparent, making him see through their bodies.
The security guard's desk was a raised podium, making them look up at him.
He was pretty tall and elegant with chocolate coloured skin and bleached blonde hair shaved in a military style. He also wore tortoiseshell shades and a silk Italian suit that matched his hair well. He even had a black rose pinned to his lapel under a silver name tag.
"Your name is Chiron?" Percy asked in bewilderment, making Lykos facepalm, as he knew who this guard was and how it can be easy to mistake his name.
The security guard leaned across the desk and all Percy can see is his own reflection in the guard's glasses. Though his smile was sweet and cold.
"What a precious young lad." He said in a strange accent, one that also hinted that English was his second language. "Tell me, mate, do I look like a centaur?"
"N-no."
"Sir." He added smoothly.
"Sir."
The guard then pinched his name tag and ran his finger under the letters. "Can you read this, mate? It says C-H-A-R-O-N. Say it with me: CARE-ON."
"Charon."
"Amazing! Now: Mr. Charon."
"Mr. Charon." Perc said.
"Well done." Charon said as he sat back." I hate being confused with that old horse man. And now, how may I help you little dead ones?"
The question caught Percy so off guard that he looked over at Lykos for support.
"We want to go to the Underworld, Mr. Charon." He said respectfully.
This made Charon's mouth twitch. "Well, that's refreshing."
"It is?" Annabeth asked in confusion.
"Straightforward and honest. No screaming. No 'There must be a mistake, Mr. Charon'." He then looked them over. "How did you die, then?"
Percy nudged Grover.
"Oh. Um… drowned… in a bathtub."
"All four of you?" Charon asked.
They all nodded with Lykos saying "It was a big bathtub."
"I see." Charon said, looking mildly impressed. "I don't suppose you have coins for passage. Normally, with adults, you see, I could charge your American Express, or add the ferry price to your last cable bill. But with children… alas, you never die prepared. Suppose you'll have to take a seat for a few centuries."
"We actually have coins." Lykos said, putting three golden drachmas on the counter, part of the stash that was found in Procrustes' office desk.
"Well, now…." Charon moistened his lips. "Real drachmas. I haven't seen these in…."
His fingers hovered greedily over the coins when he looked at Percy with that cold stare behind his glasses boring a hole through his chest.
"Here now." He said. "You couldn't read my name correctly. Are you dyslexic, lad?"
"No. I'm dead." Percy shook his head.
Charon then leaned forward and took a sniff. "You're not dead. I should've known. You're a godling."
"We have to get to the Underworld." Percy insisted.
Charon then made a growl that came deep in his throat.
Immediately, all the people in the waiting room got up and started pacing, very agitated, lighting cigarettes, running hands through their hair or checking their wristwatches.
"Leave while you can." Charon told the four. "I'll just take these and forget I saw you."
He then started reaching for the coins, but Lykos was a blur when he snatched them back.
"You won't get paid if you don't take us to the Underworld." He told him bravely. This just made Charon growl again, now a deep, blood curdling sound.
The spirits of the dead now started pounding on the elevator doors.
"It really is a shame, considering we had more to offer." Lykos then sighed as he then held up both an entire bag of Procrustes' entire stash and the drachmas he had at the start of the quest.
He grabbed a fistful of coins and let them spill through his fingers.
Charon's growl now changed into what sounded like a lion's purr. "Do you think I can be bought, godling? Eh… just out of curiosity, how much have you got there?"
"A lot." Lykos said. "I'm sure that Hades doesn't pay enough for all this hard work."
"Oh, you don't know the half of it. How would you like to babysit these spirits all day? Always 'Please don't let me be dead' or 'Please let me across for free'. I haven't had a pay raise in three thousand years. Do you imagine suits like this come cheap?"
"I know, right?" Lykos nodded. "He should show you a little appreciation once in a while. As well as some respect and good pay."
As he spoke, he stacked another gold coin on the counter.
Charon glanced down at his Italian jacket, like he was imagining himself in better clothes. "I must say, lad, you're making some sense. Just a little."
"I'm just being honest." Lykos said as he added a few more coins. "We could even mention a pay raise when we're talking to Hades."
Charon sighed. "The boat's almost full, anyway. I might as well add you four and be off."
He then stood, scooped up the money and said "Come along."
They pushed their way through the crowd of waiting spirits, who all started grabbing at their clothes like the wind, their voices whispering things that they couldn't make out.
Charon shoved them out of the way, grumbling "Freeloaders."
He escorted the four into the elevator, which was already crowded with souls of the dead, each holding a green boarding pass. Charon grabbed two of them that were trying to get on with us and pushed them back into the lobby.
"Right. Now, no one get any ideas while I'm gone." He announced to the whole waiting room. "And if anyone moves the dial off my easy listening station again, I'll make sure you're here for another thousand years. Understand?"
He then shut the doors, put a key card into a slot in the elevator panel and they started to descend.
"What happens to the spirits waiting in the lobby?" Annabeth asked.
"Nothing." Charon replied.
"For how long?"
"Forever, or until I'm feeling generous."
"Oh. That's… fair."
Charon raised an eyebrow at that. "Whoever said death was fair, young miss? Wait until it's your turn. You'll die soon enough, where you're going."
"We'll get out alive." Percy told him.
"Ha."
Lykos felt a sudden dizziness as they no longer went down, but forward. The air also started turning misty and the spirits around them started changing shape. Their modern clothes flickered and turned into grey hooded robes. The floor of the elevator then began to sway.
In the blink of an eye, Charon's creamy Italian suit was replaced with a long black robe. His tortoiseshell glasses were also gone. Where his eyes should be are just empty sockets, similar to Ares, but Charon's were completely dark, full of night, death and despair.
He noticed Lykos and Percy looking at him. "Well?"
"Nothing." They shrugged.
The flesh of his face now became transparent, letting them see straight through to his skull.
The floor continued to sway.
"I think I'm getting seasick." Grover moaned.
In another blink of the eye, the elevator was no longer an elevator. They now stood in a wooden barge with Charon poling them across a dark, oily river that swirled with bones, dead fish and other things like plastic dolls, crushed carnations, soggy diplomas and gilt edges. Lykos felt like this isn't what this river's supposed to be like.
"The River Styx." Annabeth murmured. "It's so…."
"Polluted." Charon said, confirming Lykos' thoughts. "For thousands of years, you humans have been throwing in everything as you come across - hopes, dreams, wishes that never came true. Irresponsible waste management if you ask me."
Mist was curling off the filthy water and above them, almost lost in all the gloom, was a ceiling of stalactites. Ahead, the far shore glimmered with a greenish light, which was the colour of poison.
Lykos rubbed his hands to distract himself as Annabeth grabbed hold of Percy's hand, as they both needed reassurance that there's others alive on the boat.
Lykos heard Percy mutter a prayer.
The shoreline of the Underworld finally came into view. Craggy rocks and black volcanic sand stretched inland for about a hundred yards to the base of a high stone wall, which marched off in either direction as far as they could see.
A sound then came from somewhere nearby in the green gloom, echoing off the stones: the howl of a large animal. And because Lykos can understand animals, the howl was: HUNGRY!
"Old Three Face is hungry." Charon said, his smile turning skeletal in the greenish light. "Bad luck for you godlings."
Lykos actually grinned, as he knew he had this already planned, knowing what made that howl, the nickname Charon said also being a giveaway.
The bottom of the boat slid onto the black sand and the dead began to disembark. A woman holding a little girl's hand. An old man and woman hobbling along arm in arm. A boy no older than Percy, shuffling silently along in his grey robe.
"I'd wish you luck, mate, but there isn't any down here. Mind you, don't forget to mention my pay raise."
He counted the golden coins into his pouch before taking up his pole. He warbled something that sounded a lot like a Barry Manilow song as he ferried the now empty barge back across the river.
The four then followed the spirits up a well worn path.
Lykos never really knew what to expect, but the entrance to the Underworld looked so much like airport security and the Jersey Turnpike mixed together. Guess even the Underworld can be modern.
There were three different and separate entrances under one large black archway that said YOU ARE NOW ENTERING EREBUS.
Each entrance had a pass through metal detector with security cameras mounted on top. Beyond that were toll booths manned by black robed ghouls like Charon.
The howling from a certain three headed animal was now louder than before, though they couldn't see where it was coming from. Cerberus, the three headed dog to guard Hades' door was nowhere to be seen as that howl came from him.
The dead queued up in the three lines, two were marked ATTENDANT ON DUTY, and one was marked EZ DEATH. That line was moving right along whereas the other two were crawling at a snail's pace.
"What do you figure?" Percy asked Annabeth.
"The fast line must go straight to the Asphodel Fields." She said. "No contest. They don't want to risk judgement from the court, because it might go against them."
"There's a court for dead people?"
"Yeah. Three judges. They switch around who sits on the bench. King Minos, Thomas Jefferson, Shakespeare - people like that. Sometimes they look at a life and decide that person needs a special reward - the Fields of Elysium. Sometimes they decide on punishment. But most people, well, they just lived. Nothing special, good or bad. So they go to the Asphodel Fields."
"And do what?"
"Just imagine standing in a wheat field in Kansas, but for all eternity." Lykos explained.
"Harsh." Percy said.
"Not as harsh as that." Grover muttered. "Look."
A couple of black robbed ghouls pulled aside one spirit and frisked him at the security desk.
"He's that preacher who made the news, remember?" Grover then said.
"Oh, yeah. What're they doing to him?" Percy asked.
"Special punishment from Hades." Grover guessed. "The really bad people get his personal attention as soon as they arrive. The Fur - the Kindly Ones will set up an eternal torture for him."
Percy shuddered before he looked over at Lykos, remembering how he told him that Hades was a fair god. This is just an example of that.
"But if he's a preacher and he believes in a different hell…."
Grover shrugged "Who says he's seeing this place the same way we're seeing it? Humans see what they want to see. You're very stubborn - er, persistent, that way."
They got closer to the gates and the howling was now so loud that it shook the ground at their feet.
Then, around fifty feet in front of them, the green mist shimmered. And standing just where the path split into three lanes was an enormous shadowy monster.
It wasn't noticeable beforehand because it was half transparent, like the dead. Until it moved, it simply blended with whatever was behind it. Only the eyes and teeth looked solid and it was staring right at them, Lykos, in particular.
He was actually surprised upon seeing Cerberus and his surprise was expressed by Percy, who said "He's a Rottweiler."
Lykos always imagined Cerberus to be like a black mastiff, yet he's actually a purebred Rottweiler, just twice the size of a woolly mammoth, mostly invisible and with three heads.
The dead walked right up to him without any fear whatsoever. The ATTENDANT ON DUTY lines parted on either side of him and the EZ DEATH spirits just walked right between his front paws and under his belly, without even crouching.
"I'm starting to see him better." Percy muttered. "Why is that?"
"I think…" Annabeth moistened her lips. "I'm afraid it's because we're getting closer to being dead.
Cerberus' middle head craned towards them and sniffed the air before growling.
"He can smell us." Lykos said calmly.
"But that's okay." Grover said, trembling next to Percy. "Because we have a plan."
"Right." Annabeth said, her voice sounding so small as she looked at Lykos. "A plan."
"Don't worry. If he does indeed act like a normal dog, it'll be fine." Lykos assured them as they moved towards Cerberus.
The middle head snarled at them before barking: Demigods… hungry.
"Can you two understand it?" Percy asked Lykos and Grover.
"Yep. And he said that he's hungry." Lykos said before he took a deep breath and walked slowly up to Cerberus.
"Hello, big guy. How are you today?" He asked the large monster, who stopped snarling and all three heads cocked to the side with his six nostrils dilating.
So hungry. Are you food? The middle head asked, making Lykos chuckle.
"No, I'm not food. Neither are my friends. You see, we need to go and talk with Hades about something important." He said, pulling out a red rubber ball the size of a grapefruit out of his backpack, which Annabeth got from Waterland.
Oooh, a ball. The head on the right said, all three heads heavily panting.
"Can I give you chin scratches and a belly rub?" He then asked Cerberus, holding the ball up for him to sniff before the middle head took it.
YES, PLEASE! All three heads said as he then laid down, crushing a dozen spirits who'd been passing underneath him in the EZ DEATH line. The spirits made muffled hisses as they dissipated, like the air let out of a tire.
Lykos then proceeded to give Cerberus chin scratches first to middle head, who closed their eyes in pure delight, itching for more while still playing with the ball.
Oh, yes…. That's so good.
Lykos then scratched the other heads.
Master doesn't do this anymore. We missed this. The head on the left said, making Lykos feel bad for the big boy.
"I'll make sure to bring you up when we talk to Hades." Lykos promised him as he nodded to Percy, Grover and Annabeth to move as he started giving belly rubs.
"Oh, who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? That's right, you are." He said, giving him praise and Cerberus ended up slamming one of his hind legs to the ground as the other three proceeded down the line.
As Lykos was giving Cerberus affection, it made him consider the idea of having a canine for a pet. He just needed to talk to his father about it, if they do in fact complete the quest.
Upon seeing that his friends made it to the metal detector, now was the time to get going.
"I'm sorry to say this, but I'm gonna have to go now, buddy." He told Cerberus, stopping the belly rubs and all three heads looked at him sadly, whining as well.
Really? Why? All three heads asked him.
"Like I said, me and my friends have to talk to Hades. It is super important that we do so. But I do promise that, no matter how long it takes, I'll come back with treats and some toys. And I do promise to tell Hades to give you the affection you clearly deserve, okay?" He told the large monster.
Okay. Goodbye, demigod. And good luck. Cerberus said, all three heads nuzzling him.
With a wave goodbye, Lykos joined back up with his friends.
"I was worried he might eat you." Annabeth said, sounding incredibly relieved.
"Nah, turns out he just needed some affection and love." Lykos shrugged.
With that now over and done with, they crossed the metal detector to the EZ DEATH line, which instantly screamed and set off flashing red lights.
"Unauthorised possessions! Magic detected!"
They continued on, bursting through the EZ DEATH line gate, which had even more alarms blaring, and they raced into the Underworld.
A few minutes later, the four were hiding, most of them out of breath, in the rotten trunk of an immense black tree as security ghouls scuttled past, yelling for the Furies to provide backup.
As they waited for the ghouls to pass, Lykos had to endure the rather heartbreaking and mournful keening of Cerberus in the distance, who was already missing his new friend.
I get that Hades can be busy with the Underworld, but would it really hurt him to have spare time to give Cerberus some affection? The poor guy needs some love.