From the May 18, 2023 writer's prompt on the JE FF Facebook page. Write a one-shot using the words "asking for a friend". No longer a one-shot. Not by a long shot.

All familiar characters belong to Janet Evanovich. I am not making any money from this. Mistakes are mine.

Asking for a Friend - Tank 2.0

Tank's POV

I gotta agree with the Bossman - it always feels good to have an uneventful New Year's Eve behind you when you're in the security business. I have today off but, as sometimes happens, an idea came to me while I was sleeping this morning regarding an FBI case we are working on. Ranger requested that I not (= forbade me to) take my laptop home when I clocked out at 0400 hours this morning but I want to review something in the electronic file while it's fresh in my mind. All Ranger's vehicles are in their parking slots when I arrive at Haywood - he and Little Girl must be in the building.

I take the stairs to the Infirmary to make sure everyone is healthy. I think I strained my neck muscles when I did a doubletake after glancing in the windows in the double doors to the gym. I had a beer when I got home this morning and a cup of Espresso made in my cat-shaped Espresso maker when I got up but I'm having trouble processing what I see. This can't be happening. Wait - I see Little Girl, Santos, and Remy in the mix so it definitely could be happening (= most likely is happening.) In addition to Little Girl and Santos, I count 10 other Rangemen in a perfect circle, holding hands, and singing Ring Around the Rosie in their native language. It's a mixture of English, Spanish, and Italian. Remy is in the middle of the circle. I slowly back away from the view and head to the Infirmary.

Bones is listening to a podcast - it's a required refresher course on performing CPR and AED use. I asked him if Bobby was awake yet. He said yes, and that he was probably somewhere in the building. What? He's probably somewhere in the building? This isn't Schrodinger's Cat we're talking about - he's either in the building or he isn't. Bones just shrugged and said to check in with Ram, who is in charge. I pass by the gym doors again on my way to fifth floor and foolishly look in. Oh, no, no - hell, no. I'm not even on duty today but I'm the only Core Team member on third floor if I don't count Santos, who is a major part of the problem. These idiots are lining up to play Crack the Whip - someone will get hurt. I burst through the double doors and yell at everyone to stand down. Wow - Remy sat down, which must be the dog equivalent of stand down. I told them not to play any games where someone was likely to get hurt. As I walked out, I saw Little Girl and Santos pulling out 3 Twister mats. Crap.

I finally arrive on fifth floor. Manny and Junior are on monitors, Brett is giving them breaks and answering the phone. Gene and Ghost are Patrol Team 1 and Hank and Slick are Patrol Team 2. Ranger's office is dark so I stick my head in Ram's doorway and raise an eyebrow. He said that, in order to avoid the antics of Steph and Santos, Ranger sequestered himself in a holding cell in the sub-basement so he could read overnight reports from the other branches. He guesses that Brown is with him to avoid whatever is happening in the gym so he can claim plausible deniability. "Rangers Lead the Way?" - ha - hiding. They are in hiding.

I finally grab my laptop, hoping that I remember what part of the report made me curious. I could definitely use some privacy and Ram is more than capable of being in charge. His promotion to the Core Team was a no-brainer. He smirks at me when I tell him I'm going to find a quiet place to look at the report and sends his regards to Ranger and Brown.

I take the stairs to the sub-basement and find two of the four holding cells still vacant. I'll take the one next to Brown and leave the end one open. Santos won't need it - he's half the reason we are hiding here in the first place. Brown looks a little embarrassed to be discovered. No need for that - he is reading a journal article from the AMA and Bones is doing his best to control the antics on third floor. A flicker of annoyance crosses Ranger's face - he's not happy about me working on my day off. That look quickly disappears to be replaced by another expression - could the Bossman be feeling sheepish about being caught hiding from his Babe and his cousin? Asking for a friend.

A/N I'm posting these quickly to capture the post-holiday goings-on at RM. Your reviews are appreciated.