From the May 18, 2023 writer's prompt on the JE FF Facebook page. Write a one-shot using the words "asking for a friend". No longer a one-shot. Not by a long shot.

All familiar characters belong to Janet Evanovich. I am not making any money from this. Mistakes are mine.

Asking for a Friend - Papa Manoso

Diesel's POV

The Newark familia (family) just pulled into the Rangeman underground garage with Ranger, Bobby, and Tank meeting them with three double decker carts to transport the food. It must be a universal truth that mothers and grandmothers are incapable of cooking for less than 400 people. I should have popped out of here by now but I haven't seen Remy or Steph yet and I didn't want to miss the Manoso-Santos invasion. Between the amount of food and the number of people, the freight elevator was needed for the trip to the fifth floor breakroom.

After they introduced me as a fellow apprehension agent and the guy who brought them Remy, Papa Manoso asked Ranger what the three of them had been doing today. Very few people would have picked up on the slight grimace on Ranger's face. As a distraction, he studiously peeked under the aluminum foil covering the flan. Abuela Rosa must have packed her wooden spoons as she had to resort to smacking his arm with her handbag. You go, Abuela.

Ranger uncharacteristically cleared his throat (I snorted a little but disguised it as a cough) and said that he, Bobby, and Tank were inspecting the building's lower levels. Papa asked him what they were looking for - great question, Papa M. Simultaneously, Ranger said mice, Bobby said mold, and Tank said leaky pipes. It was so worth it to hang around for this - these guys are pathetic.

Ranger's POV

Madre de Dios, we are so pathetic. After turning Mama, Abuela, and Tia loose in the breakroom to serve the food, I grabbed the nearest phone and used the intercom to announce that there was Cuban food in the breakroom for anyone who was interested. This building is as soundproof as possible but a tsunami of employees thundered from the stairwells. Steph, Santos, and Remy got their welcoming hugs and kisses. I asked Bones if the gym was in good shape now that recess was over. He indicated that it was and that there were no chalk outlines of bodies, which is a minor miracle.

It's always been Mama's habit to clear out her refrigerator and freezer on January 1 in order to start the year with a clean slate. They really outdid themselves - all the tables in the breakroom are full of food so we opened up the large conference room for eating. I'm always amazed at how much Abuela fits in her handbag as she pulls out a piece of queso (cheese) for Remy.

Babe asked us what we'd been doing today. Must be the Italian-Hungarian version of the Spanish Inquisition. I told her that I reviewed overnight reports for the other branches and there were only a few minor issues, Tank looked at a file we are handling for the FBI, Bobby read a journal article, and Bones did his refresher course on CPR and AED use. I would seriously like to wipe the smirk off Diesel's face, which he's stuffing with empanadas at the moment. Crap, he's got his eyes on the bowl of caramel flan now. Mine.

Papa Manoso's POV

My daughter-in-law Stephanie, nephew Lester, and all the other guys following them look energized and refreshed. They must be doing Pilates in the gym. Or yoga. My son Carlos, Bobby, and Tank haven't made any lengthy eye contact with me. Something's up. Diesel has a cat that ate the canary look on his face and I notice a deck of playing cards sticking out of his jacket pocket. Were they all in the basement playing poker, smoking cigars and looking at girlie magazines? And why wouldn't they invite Lester? I notice that Lester and Stephanie and the others are laughing like loons. Could Lester and Stephanie have instigated some shenanigans in the fourth floor rec room or gym? I've heard stories of their antics when they are paired together. Is it possible that my son Carlos, Bobby, Tank, and Diesel were hiding in the basement to avoid dealing with those shenanigans? I need Google Translate immediately - what is the Spanish word for putzes? Asking for a friend.

A/N Your reviews are appreciated!