Chapter 31

I helped Bella set up her keyboard near the bed. There were a lot of components to it- I could see why she preferred a regular piano over this. When we finished, she sat down on the tiny stool behind the keys, and I sat at the edge of the mattress, facing her.

"I meant it when I said this song wasn't very nice."

"I know." I said.

Her fingers pressed down on the keys, eliciting a dark sound from the instrument.

"I can play something else." She said.

"Please play it, Bella. Please."

She sighed, her big brown eyes searching my face for confirmation that I meant it, that I wanted to hear what she had to say about me.

She must have found what she was looking for, because with a sigh, she began to play.

Beautiful. Her voice was so fucking beautiful, it nearly distracted me from her words. They were beautiful, too, because them came from her and because they were raw and true, but they hurt. They hurt because they were an expression of her hurt, hurt that I caused. Hurt that I didn't really know I could cause, because I couldn't understand what I felt for her back then, so I couldn't understand how she felt about me.

Love.

My eyes welled up with tears as she sang, and I was grateful that she kept her eyes on the keys, because I didn't want her to see me cry. It wasn't that I didn't want her to know what I was feeling- God, I wanted her to know- but I didn't want her to stop playing.

I managed to gather myself by the time the song came to a close. She looked up at me, nervous and vulnerable, and I gazed back into her eyes, trying to convey my emotions without having to say them out loud, because I didn't want to hear my own voice after hearing hers.

As she peered back, her eyes welled up with tears of their own. The sight of them cracked at my heart, so I stood, walking over to her and taking her face into my hands. I let my thumb caress her cheek, saying nothing as I leaned down to press my lips against her head, her nose, her eyelids.

"Edward," her voice cracked on her whimper.

"Shh.." I returned, my lips continuing their soft trail down her face, touching her temples, her cheeks, her jaw.

I tasted her silent tears as they fell down her skin. Her little arms snaked around my shoulders, pulling at me so she could press her face into the crook of my neck. I stood up straight, and she stood with me. I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her against me as she squeezed me. A little sob escaped her as we hugged, so I tightened my grip and pressed my face into her hair, planting little kisses there to let her know I was here, and I felt it too.

I don't know how long we stood like that, but it was a while. Eventually, her tiny cries slowed and her lips connected with the skin of my neck, my jaw, my cheek. I turned my head, capturing her lips with mine and kissing her with all of the love I had, desperately trying to show her how I felt. How much she meant to me.

How much I fucking loved her.

Without breaking our kiss, I led her back towards the bed, lowering her down gently when the back of her knees hit the mattress. She scooted herself backwards, and I followed, climbing up the bed with her. Hovering over her, I lowered myself until we were flush against one another, using my arms to keep the extent of my body weight off of her. The room was spinning with our kiss; I don't know if it was because I wasn't pausing to breath, or simply because being with her made me dizzy, and I didn't care.

When she finally broke away for air, I kept my lips attached, kissing down to her neck. She moaned, her back arching her into me, and I groaned against her skin.

"Bella," I sighed, the first word I spoke since she finished her song. She writhed against me, the movement pushing my now-throbbing dick between her legs. We both gasped at the contact, so I thrusted into her again, feeling her warmth through the thin layer of clothes between us.

"Baby," she gasped again, her fingers finding their way to my hair and tugging until our lips connected again. "I need you," she mumbled into my mouth, and I groaned, sliding my tongue between her lips to return the sentiment.

Bella's hands slid down my already bare chest, grabbing the hem of my boxers and pushing them down. At the same time, I grabbed for her shorts, attempting to do the same, but getting our arms jumbled up in the process.

This did not deter us, or even break our kiss. Instead, we readjusted, reaching for own pants and pushing them down. While I was kicking my boxers to the floor, I pulled at Bella's t-shirt, needing there to be nothing between us. When she pulled the shirt over her head, I immediately went for her chest, kissing from one nipple to the other and groaning at the sensation of her tits in my mouth.

Once her shirt was completely off and tossed across the room, her little hands landed on my shoulders, pulling me up so that she could kiss me again. "I need you," she reiterated against my lips, making me gasp into her mouth. "Please."

"Anything," I muttered, taking a hold of my cock and lining it up with her entrance. "Anything, baby."

Inside of her was heaven. I melted into her after my first thrust, losing the strength of my arms and pressing all my weight against her. She whimpered under me, her hips hitching to meet my pelvis as she panted my name into my mouth.

I detached my lips from hers only because I needed to look at her. Once again finding my strength, I propped myself up on my elbow and gazed down at her, thrusting slowly into her again.

The look in her eyes knocked the breath out of me. It was a stunning look of desire in its simplest form; just a reflection of raw need gleaming off her blown pupils. My jaw slacked open as I stared at her, continuing my painfully slow rhythm, wanting to savor this moment forever.

"Edward," she sighed my name again, bringing her hand up to rest on my cheek. I moved the hand that wasn't holding me up from her waist, placing it over hers.

I felt my eyes start to water again, so I squeezed them shut, ducking my head and pressing it into the crook of Bella's neck. With a gasp against her flesh, I collected myself enough to start kissing her skin.

Bella moaned again, and I dug my fingers into her skin, gripping on for dear life as I lost myself in her. I muttered her name again and again as I kissed all over her neck, shoulder and collarbones. I trailed my tongue up her jaw, muttering about how good she felt before attaching my lips to hers once more. I lifted myself from her body minutely, just enough to grab each of her hands with mine and lace our fingers together before pressing them against the mattress near her head. Needing to be connected with her in every fucking way.

I gazed back down at her as she panted below me, looking so beautiful as she met my eyes, gasping for breath. I pressed my forehead to hers, maintaining eye contact. It was hard to keep my eyes open through the overwhelming fucking pleasure, but I had to look at her. I could taste her on my lips, I could smell her and hear her and fucking feel her, and I needed to see her, too.

"Oh Jesus fuck, Bella." I grunted, my orgasm imminent and my emotions spilling out of me, completely overwhelmed. "My Bella. I love you so fucking much."

Bella gasped, her whole body stiffening as she came under me. The sensation of her coming undone sent me over the edge, and with one last thrust into her I came so hard it rocked my whole fucking body. I was trembling, my eyes were watering and I felt weak as I collapsed on top of her, huffing and puffing and squeezing her hands that I still held with all of my might.

I didn't realize that something was wrong until I rolled off of her and she rolled away from me.

"Bella?" I turned my body so I was facing her back as the stared at the wall.

She said nothing.

"Hey," I propped myself up, grabbing her shoulder and shaking a bit. She pulled away from me. "What the fuck, Bella?" I asked, sounding as desperate as I was when my voice cracked on her name.

I didn't know what the fuck was happening. I felt like my heart was going to explode.

She sat up, still not facing me, and wrapped her arms around herself.

"How could you say that?" She asked in a whisper.

"Say what?" I plead, totally dumbfounded.

"T-That you love me!" She stuttered out in a yell. I froze, shocked at her reaction.

She stood from the bed, grabbing her t-shirt off the floor and pulling it on before turning to face me. I gaped at her, unsure of what I should say- what she wanted me to say.

"Because I do." I replied simply, my voice breathy and barely a whisper.

She laughed once, hard and without a trace of humor.

"What, Bella?!"

"A-All this time…" She stuttered again, choking out another humorless laugh. "After all of this time, all of this bullshit, how can you say it to me now?"

The cogs in my brain were working overtime, trying to comprehend what it was that she meant. Say it now? Had I never said it before? And, even if I hadn't, wasn't it fucking obvious enough? Everything I did was because I loved her.

"I've always loved you." I said.

"Shut up!" She yelled, turning from me once again and stalking to the other side of the room.

I jumped from my spot on the bed, grabbing my boxers and nearly tripping over them as I tried to slide them on while walking towards her.

"Bella," I breathed out once I got close to her. Reaching out, I placed my hand on her shoulder gingerly, and though she flinched, she didn't pull away this time. "Bella, baby, please look at me."

She spun to face me, her eyes filled with tears. She narrowed them at me as she huffed, staring me down.

"I love you." I said again.

Her face broke. The tears spilled from her eyes as she wept with her shoulders slumped.

"How can you not know that? How do you not know?" I asked.

She pulled away from me again. "Everything I've done is because I didn't know, Edward! Everything!" She yelled as she continued to cry. "I wouldn't have gone to Phoenix if I knew! I wouldn't have been with Jake, we wouldn't have t-to…" She trailed off as her tears overtook her. I pulled her into my arms again, not caring as she struggled against me.

Eventually, she stop fighting, instead going limp against my chest. I lifted my hand to run it through her hair, hoping to soothe her as she cried.

"I love you, too." She muttered against my skin.

The words did crazy things to my insides. My heart, already pounding, started beating so fast I was sure it would fly out of my chest. My arms and legs tingled and my head swam, replaying the words over and over until I felt my own eyes well with tears.

The only thing I could do was hold her tighter against me, hold her for dear life as emotion wracked through my body. I choked out a sob, and somewhere in the back of my mind it registered how insane my reaction was, but I couldn't find the will to care.

Bella snaked her arms around my waist, holding me like I was holding her. I gasped out a breath through my tears, making her look up at me. Her little hand came to my face, wiping the wetness off my cheek.

"Why are you crying?" Her voice was horse through her tears.

"I don't know." I replied, laughing a little at the absurdity of it all. She laughed, too, bringing her other arm up to cup my face in both hands. I closed my eyes, letting myself relax into her soft touch and just soaking in the knowledge that she still loved me, too.

"Lay down with me?" She asked, and I nodded, not letting go of her as I led us back to the bed.

Bella slipped her shirt back off, so I removed my boxers, too, before pulling down the covers and motioning for her to get in them. I didn't want to sleep- didn't want to waste a minute I had with her, but the desire to hold her against me was too strong to ignore, so I climbed in bed with her and pulled her into my arms.

Flush against me, she lifted her chin up just enough for her lips to find mine. I kissed her back slowly and softly, trying to pour every ounce of love for her into it.

"My Bella," I muttered against her lips. She hummed in response, her little hand running up and down my arm as she kissed me. "You're everything to me."

She whimpered into my mouth, her hand clutching onto my shoulder. I could taste the saltiness from her continuous tears slip between our lips, so I broke from her mouth to plant more kisses across her damp cheeks.

"How can you not see that?" I asked, pulling away just enough to look her in the eyes. "I thought it was so obvious. I always thought it was obvious."

"I don't know." She muttered, her voice still shaking as she wept quietly.

"Even back then, I was so sure you knew how pathetically obsessed I was with you. I was so scared it would freak you out, that it would be too much and you would leave…"

Bella choked out a laugh. "That's insane," she said. "That's really crazy, Edward."

"Is it?" I asked.

She nodded. "Yes, because I felt the same about you." She cleared her throat a little and blinked, slowing her tears. "I feel the same way about you."

I leaned in, pressing another soft kiss against her lips. "Can you say it again?" I asked as I pulled away.

"Say what?"

I reached between us, grabbing her chin and searching between her eyes. "The thing you said before."

Her eyes were still gleaming from her tears, but now they lit up as a small smile graced her perfect face.

"I love you." She said. I smiled, too.

"One more time?"

Finally, she laughed her big belly laugh, rolling us over so she was on top of me.

"I love you." She said again, leaning down to kiss my cheek, my nose, my lips. "I love you, I love you, I love you," she said between kisses, moving along my jaw to my ear to my forehead.

"I love you, Bella." I said, letting my eyes drift closed under her kisses. "I love you so fucking much."