A/N: Well let me start by saying thank you to all who are following and reviewing this story. I appreciate your feedback. I know for some of you, it is hard to understand the mind of Jasper, who is a victim. Unfortunately, I can't explain it because this is what domestic violence does. It conflicts every part of the victim's dynamic. It is easy for a person who is not being abuse to judge and say I would do this or that, Jasper can't love him after all of that, etc., but the mind of a victim is far from logical or rational at times. What makes sense to me and you may not be practical for them. I pray that you will go back and reread this story and try to reconnect with Jasper who is struggling to find his place in a marriage to someone who no longer loves him. I also want to point out that Jasper's connection to James has nothing to do with love…thus the title of this story. In the beginning he fell hard for James and for a long time he thought he love James after the abuse started, but it was really about another issue for him…about the one thing that defined him as a man…commitment.

Warning: This story is intended for an adult MA audience only. Contains crude language, adult content, adult related themes, sexual relationship between two men: SLASH. If this is not for you, please don't read. If you are under 18 stop reading now!

Jasper's POV

The rest of the day seemed to drag by. I made sure all the chores on my list were done and that I washed our sheets. I was excited as I meandered about the house. I was anxious to see my family and I decided it would be better to wait until James gave me permission to call them to let them know we were coming, just in case something came up and we couldn't go. I mean he had made promises to visit them in the past and then at the last minute changed his mind. That was always a crushing disappointment, not only to me, but to my parents as well.

James arrived back at the house at exactly six pm. He'd called me earlier and told me that we were going to Bella Italia in Port Angeles. He knew how much I loved eating there. I always ordered the mushroom ravioli. He'd hurt me…sure…but he knew me. He knew what I liked and how to make me happy, even with the smallest things. I had a suspicion that this was part of this honeymoon phase we were in, but I made myself enjoy it. I had to stop thinking hate for this short little while because I didn't know how long this would last. I had to find the pleasure in what he was offering before I was back in hell again. It was sad, but that was my life.

"I'm just going to change and I'll be right back down. You look great." He ran upstairs.

God please don't let this end. Please. I'll do anything for this peace to stay in my home.

I smiled to myself as I waited for him to come back down. After a few minutes, he dashed into the kitchen looking like a ray of innocent sunshine.

"Ready, babe?" He asked, winking at me.

"Yes."

After a short drive, we arrived at the restaurant and James came around and opened the door for me. I got out slowly giving him a look that must have said, "Have you lost your mind?" He just shook his head and laughed.

"Let's go." He nodded towards the restaurant and in a surprising maneuver, took my hand in his own. He pulled me along and I tried my best not to faint. This was definitely not the James that blistered my behind. Something was up.

Once inside we were seated at a table right in the middle of the restaurant. That didn't surprise me one bit. James was flashy and he loved to show me off when we went out. Scared for a moment that the old James was going to resurface before we got home, I quickly commented him on how good he look and that I was going to have fight the guys off of him tonight. That gave his ego a turbo boost, and hopefully chased away any thoughts he might have been having about possibly slapping me around.

"You are a pleasant distraction in those jeans, Jasper." He winked at me. "I think you have an admirer."

"What?" I followed his gaze across the room and my eyes landed on the one and only Edward Cullen. He was having dinner with his parents. He smiled at me and I nodded, careful not to let on to James that I knew him. That would not go over well.

God if you are in heaven right now, please don't let him come to this table. Please let him forget that I'm here. Please don't let him mention that he saw me yesterday. Please for the love of all that's holy let Dr. Cullen distract him so that any ideas of coming over here is thwarted. Dr. Cullen would know that I can't have guests. Please do this for me. Please!

"Probably just some local guy. He's with some older people. They must be his parents." I deliberately looked James in his eyes and gave him the sexiest smile I could muster. "He doesn't hold a candle next to you, sweetheart. I'm all yours." I winked at him and took a sip of my water. I knew he loved that possessive shit so I laid it on thick.

God, please don't let this end badly for me. I don't want to be hurt again.

James glanced over at Edward who was smiling radiantly at the woman I presumed to be his mother. She was beautiful, with long caramel colored hair. There was another girl there with darker hair and shorter than everyone at the table. I guessed that was the pesky little sister he'd referred to.

"Well, are you sure Jasper? I mean he's quite handsome. Young, great body…I may not be enough for you." He laughed but something told me that he was serious. Not wanting this to end in disaster, I made haste to reassure him.

I leaned into him and whispered so that only he could hear me. "Sweetheart, I came with you and I'll leave with you." He gave me a look that said 'you're damn straight you will.' I reached out and took his hand in my own. He was distracted by someone moving behind him, just in time for me to see Dr. Cullen giving me an understanding look. He must have known that Edward was watching me and that James was probably getting antsy. Dr. Cullen would protect me just like he had yesterday at the ER. He would hold Edward's attention so he wouldn't stir up unnecessary jealousy in my husband. My eyes were pleading, and he nodded his understanding. I returned the nod to translate that I understood as well. He quickly flagged the waiter for their check.

I gave his hand a little squeeze. I knew James. He could have the mostly heavenly smile on his face, and be like a volcano ready to erupt inside. I had to try harder to distract him. I couldn't afford for latent anger to be festering inside him. My life depended on it.

"James you're my husband." I leaned in a little further. "It's your bed I'll be in tonight and your name I'll be screaming as you pound me senseless." It was a sleazy attempt, but it's what appealed to him. If that is what it took to keep my head from being smashed into a wall or pole on the way out, then I'd tell him anything he wanted to hear.

He smiled and winked at me again. "Damn right."

I was so thankful we had a female waitress this time. I wasn't so sure I could keep convincing my companion that every male in this god-forsaken restaurant didn't want me. While we ordered our food, I noticed that there was movement at the Cullen table. I had my head down in the menu, but I could still see them well out of the corner of my eye.

Thank God for Dr. Cullen. They're leaving.

I noticed Edward looking in my direction again, and Dr. Cullen was running interference again. There was no way he would tell my secret, but was smart enough to create a diversion. He was talking to Edward about some of the photos on the wall near the entrance, and I assumed since I looked like I was ordering my food, he dropped his inadvertent plan to come set my husband off…no doubt. He had no clue that coming to this table would do exactly that. A few minutes later they were gone.

The rest of the dinner went off without a hitch. James was Romeo incarnate. He let me taste little bites of his food and to my surprise he fed me off his fork. There were a couple of times he reached over and wiped crumbs from my mouth, and reached out and pulled my chair a little closer to his. He was quite comfortable with us being together in public. Truthfully, he could have cared less about what anyone in the restaurant thought. I was gravely suspicious of his behavior.

He is just being too nice. Maybe I should just go with it. Maybe he's really trying to apologize for what he's been doing to me. Jasper just let it go. Go with the flow for now. It will all work out. I can't…just can't find it in me to trust him completely, but I have to do something to ease my mind before I go crazy. James didn't love me, no matter what he said, but at least he was making an effort not to beat my ass…I hope.

When we got back into the car, James pulled me to him. For a moment I thought he'd seen what happened back in the restaurant and was going to start hitting me again. I trembled a little, and I'm sure my eyes were fearful.

"Will you relax, Jasper? Jesus! Every time I try to touch you, you shrivel up like a prune." He let me go. "Didn't you enjoy yourself?"

Way to go Jasper! You just succeeded in pissing him off. He's right! Will you just relax!

I shook off any fear I had, but couldn't rid myself of the skepticism. "Yes, yes I did baby. Very much. Thank you." He seemed to harden a bit so I leaned over the console and pulled his face to mine. "I can't wait for us to get home." I lied.

God please don't let him be mad. Please.

He softened and I saw lust in his eyes. "You're mine, Jasper."

I nodded, the fear slowly returning. "I'm yours, baby. Only yours."

He kissed me hard, demanding entrance into my mouth so I let him in. When he broke the kiss, he reached over and grabbed the back of my neck. "I can't wait to get you home either." After we came home, we made love and when we were done and lying in bed, he'd given me a gift.

"James, it's beautiful. I don't know what to say." It was a diamond bracelet that I was sure cost him at least ten grand. On the back of it he had the words "Forever Mine" engraved on it. In lieu of his recent cruelty to me, I couldn't help but cry. "James…I-I…"

He'd pulled me to his chest. "Shh…no crying."

I'd settled down. Then he pulled me back so he could see my face. "Jasper I know things haven't been easy with me, but I'm going to change honey. Please promise me you'll always be mine. Only mine. We don't need other people in our lives. We have each other. I can't help it babes. You have that effect on me. I don't like sharing."

There was that possessiveness again. Not wanting to upset him, I'd told him that I would. He seemed content with that. It was his next words that shocked the hell out of me.

"I saw the way that kid was looking at you Jasper. You guys look to be around the same age. It would be so easy for someone like him to convince you that you don't love me. You do love me right?"

"Yes, James. I love you." Again, a small part of me did, but a greater part had been damaged by his abuse and I just couldn't give my love to him the way I really wanted to.

"Did you know that boy, Jasper?"

Oh God this is a trick question. He's going to pulverize me. I already told him that I didn't. God why does he have to ask so man damn questions? If I tell him the truth, I'm dead.

"No, baby." I had not hesitated at all shooting that lie to him. "I've never seen him in my life."

He was quiet for a moment. "I hate it when those young punks salivate over you like that. He better be glad I was in a good mood. I would have smashed his face into the wall."

That in itself was enough to let me know that under no circumstances could I ever see Edward again. The thought of Edward's beautiful face being harmed by James was just too much. He was innocent, and while he might be interested in me, he didn't do anything wrong. James was jealous and had no right to even think about hurting him.

I'd reached down and began to massage his cock in a last ditch effort to distract his insecure ass. "James…James…why are we even talking about some guy who neither one of us knows. We've had a great night. The restaurant was great. You've given me a nice gift to show your love. I'm here and entirely yours…and…the night is still young. I know you would much rather be ramming this hard spear in and out of my tight little hole—a hole that only you've been in- than wasting time worrying about a nobody." That was all it took to end that night on a happy note and to totally prevent me from getting my ass minced.

By Thursday night, I was beside myself. Since our dinner date, the week had been pure bliss. James was darn near perfect. Seriously. Now James and I were packing for our trip tomorrow to Seattle. So far he'd made good on his promise to take me to see my family. He'd given me permission to call them today to let them know we were coming. My mother was ecstatic, but she'd quickly informed me that James must have heeded her warning. When I inquired as to what she was referring to, she'd told me that she had left several messages on our phone telling me and James that if I didn't come see them soon, or call, or let them come see me, they were coming any way with law enforcement. James must have intercepted those calls or had their number forwarded to his cell phone so I wouldn't get the calls at home during the day.

My father was excited too…about the prospect of me coming. He politely told me to leave James home. I heard my mother scolding him in the background telling him to be thankful that I was coming at all. My parents didn't know the extent of James' abusive behavior. They just thought he was just a controlling, older guy that I'd fallen in love with and married. They didn't know about any of the stuff he did because I didn't tell them. For one, my father would have tried to literally kill James and his best friend Michael would have taken a shot at James with his gun. They'd both gone to jail once because they were defending me after someone gay-bashed me at a club. I knew without a doubt if they knew what James was doing to me, they would go to prison for a long time and James would be dead. I couldn't let them ruin their lives because of me. They had families that needed them, and I wasn't about to take that from them.

They did not play around when it came to their children. They had been best friends since childhood, and they shared everything…even their love for each other's children. Mr. Michael had his back and my dad had his. They were true comrades, and in a way I was glad they didn't come around that often because it would have only taken one time for them to even get a hint about James' violence against me and it would have been a TKO right then and there. I only prayed that James didn't show out while we were there. We didn't need a blood bath.

Another reason I didn't tell them was because I was embarrassed to let them know that I allowed him to treat me like that, and an even greater reason was that I didn't want them to get involve because I thought James would hurt them, although he would have one hell of a fight on his hands. I just couldn't take that risk. Rosalie and I were twins, but she was much more dependent on my parents that I was. I could put them in harm's way. No way, so I just took the abuse silently and left them to their good life.

Admittedly, I was hurt because I thought that James was really trying to be nice in letting me go visit them. All the while he was trying to avoid an unpleasant scene between him and my family, and he certainly didn't want local law enforcement to be involved. No wonder he was so eager in letting me go. I knew something had to be up. He was scared. James could punk me whenever he got ready to, but be scared of other people. I didn't get that at all.

I felt James' arms snake around me as I was packing my toiletries. His steel rod was pressing into my ass. I knew what he wanted. This man was a machine. He couldn't get enough if he tried. I guess that should have made me cocky that he craved my body like that, but it didn't. Too be honest, I was mad as hell that he'd intercepted those calls and had not let me talk to my parents. I really didn't feel like having sex with him, but I knew that if I wanted to keep my teeth and go see my family, I had to play by his rules.

In truth, James had been a true prince all week. Not only had he'd actually acted like a husband in every way, he'd given me that expensive bracelet, some new clothes, and a gaming system with some new games—even though he'd forbid me on numerous occasion indulge in video gaming. He said they were juvenile and that no man of his was going to be playing childish video games while he was hard at work taking care of his family. I mean, I was twenty-three years old…not forty. I found myself wondering when he'd found time to shop. I didn't dare ask.

"Are you almost done packing, Jazzy?" He nuzzled my neck. "Mmm. You smell so good. I want you."

I had to act like I wanted him too, so I decided to give in to him. "Are you ready for me to be done?" I pretended to tease. All I could think about was getting to Seattle to see my family.

"Mmm…hmm…I'm so ready." His voice was laden with lust.

"How bad do you want me?" I played along, hoping that he would be finished in minutes so we could just go to sleep.

"Really bad." It should have been impossible for this man to be so hard. I turned to face him and he smiled at me. If the research was correct, it was only a matter of time before James became the villain again. It was hard to keep playing these games knowing that at any moment he could snap. "You're teasing me, baby. That's not nice."

I pretended to think about what I wanted to do to him in order to keep his game fun for him. "Well…I guess I could do a…few…things." I resisted the urge to pretend I was talking to Edward. I didn't want to accidently slip up and say his name instead of James.' My parents would have been coming to the morgue to id my body.

He shivered with anticipation. "Yeah, like what?"

"Well…I could do this…" I dropped to my knees in front of him and rubbed my face against his cock through his boxers earning a moan. "You like that, sexy?"

Please don't let me vomit. I should bite him, but I better not.

"God, yes." He stroked my hair and pulled my head back so I could look up at him. Those liquid blue eyes looking were full of need.

"I don't know James. You haven't been nice to me." Somehow I knew he understood that I meant that, and that wasn't part of the game. His face started to harden. I decided to fix this before it got out of hand. I didn't want him to think I was rebelling or something. "But you've been good all week so I guess I can put out…a little." I smiled weakly at him.

As if I have a choice.

I allowed him to pick me up and carry me to our bed. If it weren't for the fading bruises, I would have had to ask myself if he'd really whipped me Monday morning. I'd taken just about all of the pills that Dr. Cullen had given me, and thankfully the cream was odorless, so I was able to get some relief. I'd walked to the local drug store earlier this morning and checked my blood pressure in one of those machines in the back of the store. It was a lot lower than it had been when I went to the hospital, probably because James had backed off this week.

James fucked me with everything he had in him. I had to make myself mentally stay in the room with him. This man was something else. He could take me in the most intimate way, yet take my life and freedom and abuse it. I was writhing under him, fighting a losing battle to resist the guilty pleasure I was taking from him thrusting madly inside of me. He filled my ears will the dirtiest talk he could muster, and the entire time kept telling me that I was his. "Mine" was his mantra. I looked into his eyes as I lay there with my legs spread for him, giving myself completely to him. He was too caught up in his own pleasure to see the tears in my eyes. This was just sex to me. For him it was control…ownership…he had taken total possession of my mind and my body.

He pushed tighter on me and buried his face in my neck. In the midst of his grunts and moans, I wondered what I had done to deserve this. Was I being punished because I was gay? Did I have some unconfessed sin that I didn't know about that was causing this man to treat me this way? Why was it so hard for me to accept that James, despite his kindness this past week, was never going to change?

It was true that love would make you blind, but I ask the question, what does love have to do with it? Being alone in this house this week while James was working gave me time to sort some things out. I concluded that my relationship with James had absolutely nothing to do with love. It was about commitment. That was how I defined myself. My word was all I had. It was my bond. That's how I'd been reared…that's what my father taught me…to honor my vows. I had nothing else in this life. If I couldn't stand by my commitments, who was I? Where would I be?

In lieu of this, I'd honored my vows with James and I'd come to a point where I could no longer put myself in danger to do that. I had tried with all of might to love this man, but his mind games imprisoned me and I couldn't find a way to reconcile my feelings toward him. I still didn't have a clue what was happening this week, but I knew that once the cork blew, it would be a living nightmare. I didn't know what to do or even how to do it. All I knew was that my time with James was coming to end however slowly. I just prayed that God would give me grace to make it out safely.

The next morning we packed the trunk of his Aston Martin. Of course, he would drive that one instead of the Jaguar. I'm sure he didn't care about making a good impression on my folks. It was a status symbol for him. James was a shrewd business man and stood his own ground. He knew what he had in his wallet and more so he had their son. In his eyes, he'd beaten them already at a game that no one was playing but him…and me—be it unwillingly.

As we put the last of luggage in, he reached over to me and pulled my hips to his. He pulled me in for a kiss and I didn't resist. Still not really knowing how to react to this side of him, I was walking on eggshells trying not to do anything today that would signal the end of this phase for us.

"I love you." He said. I realized last night that I had given up wanting to believe that. I guess hearing my mother saying that she'd been trying beyond hope to contact me…to just say hello and to tell me she loved me, and this…this bastard kept her from me like that…my own mother…the woman who had been there for me when no one else had…when I didn't even know he existed on the planet…that was worse than any physical blow he could have dealt to me. His tried to make his voice sincere, but I saw through him.

I smiled but remained silent. Tears rolled down my cheeks. This man had hurt me in the worst ways, but right now he held me in the palm of his hands. He was all I knew. He was my life. Everything I had or could hope to be was wrapped up in him. He held the keys to my life that I had so freely given to him.

"James…" I nearly crumbled. "James…I…what?"

I didn't know how to ask him to stop hurting me. I didn't know how to tell him he'd gone too far and we could never have what we once had. I didn't know how to tell him that he'd left me with battle scars all over my body that would be an eternal reminder of his hatred for me.

"James why do hurt me so badly?"

He didn't answer my question but motioned for me to come to him. He was too much of a coward to give me that much respect. "Come here."

I obeyed.

"I'm doing this Jasper…going to Seattle because I know it's important to you." That had nothing to do with my question. I knew he would avoid opening that can with me. He could beat my ass, but not even justify me with an explanation. Unbelievable!

I nodded.

"I know you haven't seen your family in a while and I want you to know that I'm trying to get better and do right by you." He continued to hold my arms as he spoke. He still didn't know what my mother had told me. I wasn't going to say anything because he might back out of our trip. "You know that right?"

I nodded again.

"I'm your husband and it's my job to take care of you. You don't need anyone else. Remember that."

"I will." I said humbly.

"One more thing, Jazzy." He said softly.

Here it is…the moment I've been waiting on…he's about to drop kick me with the big but…

"Sure baby, anything." I was a little nervous. He noticed and smiled.

"Geez! Will you relax! I'm not going to hurt you. I just wanted to say that we're leaving together and I would like very much for us to return together."

Somehow I knew that wasn't a polite request. It was a polite as-a-matter-of-fact statement but who was I to argue. He was establishing his ground rule while still trying to be the white prince he'd been all week. There was no mistaking. He would go along with this visit, his idea, but it was to be understood that my ass would get in his car and leave with him when it was time to go. He was going to pack me up with the rest of his luggage.

"Of course."

That was a loaded statement and he was testing me to see how I respond. If my response wasn't right, he would have called this trip off immediately. "I never want to be without you." I added that just for reassurance in case he was thinking about backing out. "I'm yours." Those were the words he wanted to hear. I might have been a young and inexperienced, but I had learned exactly what to say to please my husband.

He kissed the top of my head, gave me another squeeze, and then pulled away. "Okay then. Let's do this."

A/N: Well Jasper has some hard choices to make, but at least he's starting to come to terms with his connection to James. He has finally admitted that he no longer loves him like he used to and that he can no longer honor his vows. How will he get out? I wonder what is going to happen in Seattle…no really. I already have this story completed but I think the characters are trying to rewrite the script for me. Thank you all for reading. I've about had enough of James. We just have to get through Seattle and I think he has to be ousted…I kind of feel sorry for Edward though because Jasper is going to have some serious baggage. Thanks again.