Healing
In that void of darkness, time seemed to lose all meaning. It was as if I was floating in a limbo, disconnected from the physical world. Fragments of memories and emotions swirled in my mind, flashes of pain and fear intertwining with moments of love and support from my family. Suddenly, a faint glimmer of light pierced through the darkness, pulling me back into consciousness. As my eyes fluttered open, the sterile white walls of the hospital room came into focus. The beeping of machines and the hushed whispers of medical professionals filled the air, a stark contrast to the chaos that had surrounded me moments ago in my parents' living room.
"Oh, God! What have I done? This entire mess is my fault!"
I turned my gaze to see Rosie and my mom sitting by my bedside, their expressions a mix of relief and concern. Their eyes were red and puffy, evidence of the tears shed during my unconsciousness. Mama reached out and gently squeezed my hand, her touch offering a much-needed reassurance.
"Jasper, you're awake," she whispered, her voice filled with a mixture of emotions.
I tried to speak, but my throat felt dry and scratchy. My body ached, a reminder of the pain I had endured. Rosie quickly poured a glass of water and helped me take small sips, soothing my parched throat.
"Take it easy, Jazzy. You've been through a lot," Rosie said, her voice filled with genuine concern.
"W-what happened?" I asked. "What happened to me?"
"After all the commotion last night, you passed out honey." Mama said caressing my face. "You were unconscious and had to be transported here."
"Dad?" I called him. "Mama where's Dad?"
Mama's voice shook. "He's in jail now, baby."
My eyes widened. "Mama, no. I-"
"Jasper, he's trying to bail out now."
As the fog in my mind began to lift, the memories of the incident with James and my family flooded back. The fear, the pain, and the overpowering sense of vulnerability washed over me once again. I glanced tearfully at my mother and without words, she understood the turmoil within me.
"Jazzy, you're safe now. James is in ICU, but we've been informed that he may be taken into custody once he is discharged, and the police are handling everything," my mother assured me, her voice laced with determination. "He can't hurt you anymore."
"It's all my fault. This is what I was afraid would happen."
"Oh, Jazzy! It's not your fault, baby. Please don't blame yourself. Just know that you are no longer alone in this battle. Your family had rallied around you, ready to protect and support you through this ordeal." Her words did very little to comfort me. I was worried about my Dad and Uncle.
Tears streamed down my face, not only from the intense pain I was feeling but also from the haunting memories of the night before. The images of my family seeking justice for the years of abuse James had inflicted on me flashed before my eyes. They truly delivered on every promise they'd made to stomp James' ass. They handed it to him… unapologetically…without remorse…without one second thought.
Feeling a surge of anguish, I asked, my voice trembling, "Where is everybody else? Are they okay?"
My mother fought back tears, her voice cracking with emotion. She had tried her best to prevent my dad and Uncle Mike from going too far with James, but the situation had escalated beyond her control.
"Jay and Michael are in jail, Jasper. The lawyers are working on getting them out. They will make bail," she explained. "I haven't heard much more about it. I left a message for Jay to call me as soon as he is able. I'm not sure they will allow it."
My heart sank, and I couldn't hold back my grief. "God, no."
My mother's voice softened, filled with empathy. "Jasper, you have to stay calm. You can't get worked up. They will be alright. Your Dad and Uncle have been in this position before."
"Yes, Mom but not like this. They hurt James badly." I interjected. "This could mean a lot of time for them."
Mama shook her head. "You must think positively, son. We have to hope for the best outcome."
"The best outcome would have been for me to stay put in Forks. That way you all would have been safe. I could handle James for a while longer. Now I've messed everything up!" Guilt settled heavily upon me, and I whispered, "I didn't want this to happen."
My mother's hand reached out to gently caress my cheek. "Jasper, again none of this is your fault. You didn't ask for any of this. You needed to tell us so that we could help you get out of that abusive situation."
As tears continued to flow, I clung to my mother's words, trying to find peace in her unwavering love and support. Amid pain and uncertainty, there was still a glimmer of hope that we would overcome the darkness that had enveloped our lives.
My medical team had been diligent in their efforts to treat my injuries, but the road to recovery seemed daunting. Dr. Thompson, my attending physician, entered the room, a sense of calm and expertise radiating from her. She reviewed my chart, her eyes scanning the various notes and test results. With a gentle smile, she approached my bedside.
"Good morning, Jasper. How are you feeling today?" Dr. Thompson asked, her voice filled with genuine concern.
I mustered a weak moan in response. "I've had better days, but I'm hanging in there. Am I going to die?"
Dr. Thompson laughed and shook her head, her reassuring demeanor putting me at ease. "Hopefully not until you're 150. We've been monitoring your head injury closely, and the hematoma seems to be stabilizing. We'll continue with periodic scans to ensure it doesn't worsen. As for your internal injuries, we're keeping a close eye on any signs of bleeding or organ damage. So far, things are progressing as expected."
Some relief washed over me as I absorbed the positive news.
"That's good to hear. What's the plan moving forward?" Mama asked.
Dr. Thompson explained the next steps in my treatment, outlining the specialist that would help me understand my injuries, one of which was a psychologist. She also discussed the importance of rest and allowing my body time to heal.
As she finished her explanation, my mother spoke up.
"Doctor, I just want to make sure he's going to be okay. Are there any risks or complications we should be aware of?" my mother asked, her eyes locked with Dr. Thompson's.
Dr. Thompson nodded, understanding my mother's concern. "While we are doing everything, we can to manage his injuries, there are always potential risks, such as infection or further complications, especially from things we don't know about. He has a lot of injury to his groin and rectum. He has internal bleeding as well. We will run a battery of blood tests and continue with further scans. However, we're taking every precaution necessary to minimize these risks and provide him with the best care possible. Jasper is in good hands."
My mother's grip on my hand tightened, her worry etched on her face. "Thank you, Doctor. Please do everything you can to help him recover."
Dr. Thompson offered a reassuring smile. "I will, Mrs. Whitlock. We'll continue to closely monitor his progress and adjust his treatment plan as needed. You're doing a great job supporting him through this."
As the medical team left the room, my mother turned her attention back to me. Her eyes brimmed with tears, a mix of relief and worry evident in her expression.
"Oh, Jasper. I'm so glad you're still with us. We're going to get through this together," she whispered, her voice choked with emotion.
I reached out and squeezed her hand, grateful for her unwavering love and support. My eyes and heart were full of worry. The events of the previous night had left a somber atmosphere, and the uncertainty surrounding my family's legal situation weighed heavily on me. I was so worried about my family.
My mother, sensing my restlessness, she gently placed her hand on mine."Jasper, I know you're worried about your Uncle Mike and your father. Their lawyers are working tirelessly to navigate the legal process and ensure their rights are protected," she reassured me, her voice filled with a blend of comfort and determination.
I nodded, appreciating my mother's words of support. "But, Mom, do we know anything about their situation?"
My mother's expression softened; her voice laced with empathy. "We're still waiting for updates, Jasper. The legal process can be complex, and decisions regarding bail are ultimately up to the court. We have to trust in the system, as difficult as it may be."
Mom's phone rang. It was my dad.
"Hi, sweetheart." My mom answered the phone on the second ring. "Are you okay?"
"I'm good, Lizzie. I'm good. I managed to make a call from here. How is Jasper? Is he okay?"
"He's okay. It's good to hear from you, honey. We are so worried about you and Michael. We're relieved the kids weren't taken in. Jasper is going to have to stay in the hospital, and he sustained a lot of injuries from James. The doctors are doing everything they can, but they are monitoring the situation. He's trying to be a good sport about it."
"I can't stop worrying about him, bae. I love my son. I would do anything in the world for him. I wish I could be there with him. It pisses me off to just think that mother fucker hurt my boy like that. I swear his mama should be crying over him right now!" I could hear the anger still in his voice.
"Dad," My voice was feeble. "I'm sorry." I apologized again. I started crying. "I'm so, so sorry, Dad."
Mom moved quickly to comfort me. Sensing that I'd become upset, she tried to coax my father down. "Honey right now, the most important thing is for us to focus on Jasper's recovery and get you home safely. We have to stay positive and channel our energy into getting through this together."
"I understand, bae. My family is the most important thing to me. Protecting you guys is my job, Lizzie. My loyalty lies with you and my children. I cannot allow anyone to hurt you in any way. I just want Jazz to know how much I care about him and how much I want to be there for him. It hurts me to know he is in pain."
"I love you too, Dad." I started crying again. "I'm scared Dad. I'm so scared. What if James doesn't go to jail and comes- "
"Son, I need you to stay strong. You don't have to worry about James but remember that we all have your back. You can rest assured that bitch won't ever hurt you again. We have the best lawyers on this, but please, son, remember that we staying in this fight to the end with you."
I sniffled. "Okay."
"Hi, Daddy." Rosie spoke to him. "Are you sure you're, okay?"
"Hey, baby girl." He told her. "Daddy's fine, baby. I'll be out today."
"Thank God. I am ready to see you."
"I love you guys. Jasper till the day they put me in the ground I will not stop until James is either in prison or dead for the way he's hurt you. We won't stop until we see him behind bars for a long time. My job from now on is to help you mentally and physically become stronger. I got you son. Don't ever think otherwise."
"But what about you and Uncle Michael? I'm scared-" I trailed off, my voice filled with worry.
"Don't worry about us, Jasper. We'll handle this," my father reassured me, his voice steady and determined. "We're good, son. We have the best lawyers on this and a plan in motion. It's all good."
"Where is Uncle Michael?" I asked, eager to know how he was holding up amidst the chaos.
"He's here with me, but in a different cell. He's doing alright, Jasper," my father replied, his voice carrying a hint of concern. "Felicia and the boys are beside themselves, naturally, but Mickey, you know Mickey, he's completely unbothered. Keeps telling everyone he's on an adventure. He's been complaining that we didn't finish the job. I must agree with him. Bitch ass fucker."
A small smile tugged at my lips, grateful that my uncle was finding some sense of positivity during this turmoil. It offered a glimmer of hope in an otherwise dark situation.
"Tell him I'm sorry and I love him too," I said, my voice filled with genuine gratitude. "Thank you for being there for me, for fighting for me when I'm too pathetic to do so myself. "
"I love you too, Jasper," my father replied, his voice filled with emotion. "You're my son, and nothing in this world will ever change that, but don't ever let me hear you talk down on yourself. You will no longer believe or live the lies that son of a bitch told you. You are my prince and from now on you will breathe and live as such."
Tears welled up in my eyes as I felt the weight of my father's love and support wash over me. In this fleeting moment, despite the distance and the circumstances, I knew that we were united, bound by an unbreakable bond that would carry us through even the darkest of days.
"My time on the phone is almost up. Thank God this guard seems to think I'm hot," my father joked, trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere. "He's letting me do all kinds of stuff in here. He even gave me extra cookies and sandwich…. after I ate." I couldn't help but let out a chuckle, grateful for his sense of humor in such a difficult time.
"I guess you might be gay after all, Dad," I quipped playfully. "I've always caught you staring at other guys... slobbering."
My eyes were growing heavy, exhaustion settling in, making it difficult to stay awake and engaged in the conversation. I struggled to keep my voice steady.
"Yeah, you keep it up," my father replied, his voice laced with a mix of teasing and genuine affection. "I'll make sure you get a longer stay at that nice hotel you're in. Just keep up the jokes."
I mustered a weak laugh, my energy fading. My mother interjected, concern evident in her voice. "Honey, he's very tired. He needs his rest."
"I'm okay, Mama," I managed to say, my voice barely audible as I felt myself drifting off.
"Jasper, I love you," my father's voice filled with tenderness and longing. "We'll be together again soon."
"Love you," I whispered, my voice barely audible as sleep tried to claim me, the weight of the situation momentarily forgotten. I could still hear my parents talking.
"But Lizzie listen, we need to discuss the legal situation right quick. We talked to Davis and I'm sending him your way. He will be representing both me and Mickey, and there are some things you need to know."
"Okay. Please tell me what's happening."
"The bail amount has been set at $200,000 each They've charged us with aggravated assault, attempted murder, possession of a firearm during the commission of a felony, and a few other charges," my father's voice trembled as he delivered the devastating news. He was trying his best to be strong, but I knew he had to be tired. The ordeal last night had to wear him out and I was sure he'd been up for most if not all night. There was no way he could have anticipated I would bring this many problems to him this weekend.
I watched as my mother's hand flew to her mouth, attempting to stifle the flood of emotions that overcame her. Tears streamed down her face, mirroring the pain that washed over me. I couldn't help but let a few tears escape from my own eyes as I listened to the charges being listed. Deep down, I had known that this day would come, that the secret of James' abuse towards me would eventually lead to this moment.
My mother's voice cracked as she spoke through her tears, "Oh, honey..." Her words trailed off, her heartache unmistakable in the room.
"I'm sorry, Mom," I managed to choke out, my voice trembling with a mix of fear and regret. "I never wanted it to come to this. I tried so hard to protect us, to shield you both from the truth. But now..."
My voice trailed off, the situation settling heavily upon my shoulders. I felt a mix of guilt and anger at myself for not being able to prevent this from happening. I had tried to bear the burden alone, thinking I could protect my family, but it had all unraveled, leading us to this dark place.
My mother reached out and took my hand, her touch offering a small glimmer of comfort in the midst of the chaos. "Jasper, it's not your fault," she whispered, her voice filled with a mother's love and understanding.
Her words steadied me, reminding me that our strength as a family would carry us through even the darkest of times. In that moment, I found solace in knowing that I wasn't alone, that my parents would stand beside me, no matter what lay ahead. I heard my Dad tell me not to worry. How could I not worry? Their entire lives were on the line all because of my mess. I should have stayed in Forks secluded from them. At least they would be protected.
"Well I attempted to post my own bail money, but Michael is refusing to allow me to do so. I've been trying to reason with him, but he won't listen. He wants to put up all his own money for bail and attorney fees, even though I have the means to assist."
"He doesn't have to do that," my mother protested, her voice filled with concern. "We have the money and resources to handle this ourselves."
"I tried explaining that to him, but he insists it's his privilege and honor to help us," my father replied, his voice filled with gratitude. "Michael has always been there for me. He wants to handle this, to support us. He loves us. I'm going to give it back to him, but he doesn't know that yet. I just don't feel like arguing with him today."
My mother let out a weary sigh, her worry etched on her face. "If Michael is determined to take care of things, we'll respect his decision for now, but he really doesn't have to."
"I know he's doing this out of love," my father reassured her, his voice filled with conviction. "We will work it out, I promise."
I could hear my father politely requesting one more minute from the guard, a desperate effort to prolong the connection between us. His voice grew softer as he turned his attention back to me.
"I'll handle the necessary paperwork here at the hospital," my mother promised, her words filled with genuine concern. "I want to see you, honey. Are you eating? Sleeping? I'm worried sick."
"I'm fine, bae. Don't worry," he assured her, his voice filled with a mixture of exhaustion and determination. "I'll be seeing you in a little bit."
Mom's voice trembled with fear as she struggled to hold back her tears. "I know, Jay, but I..." Her voice trailed off into soft sobs. "I'm scared."
Dad's tough exterior melted away as he tried to encourage her. "I know you are, baby. It's going to be alright," he assured her, his voice filled with love and tenderness. "I'm good, bae. Trust me, okay?"
Mom wiped her tear-stained face with a Kleenex, her eyes filled with fear and love. "Okay," she whispered, her voice barely audible.
I knew if Dad were here he would have pulled her into a tight embrace, and enveloped her with a protective strength. He and Mama had been married longer than I'd been alive. He was absolutely crazy about her. "It's going to be fine, bae, "he repeated softly, his voice filled with conviction. "We'll get through this together."
As I listened to the exchange between my parents, a heavy weight settled in my chest. It pained me to see them both so vulnerable, yet their love and support for one another shone through their tears.
"I'm so sorry, Mama," I apologized again, my voice choked with emotion. What else could I do but apologize?
They both spoke simultaneously, their eyes filled with unwavering love. "It's not your fault, Jazz," they said again in unison. "We love you, son," my father's voice was firm, filled with unwavering support. "Stay strong. Get some rest. You know I love you Lizzie, and you too baby girl." Rosie had been silently crying the entire conversation.
"Love you too, Daddy." She sniffled.
"Don't cry, Princess." She was indeed a Daddy's girl. She always teased me about being his favorite. In some ways I don't believe she was lying. If he'd whipped James' ass like that for me, he probably would have severed his head about his princess. Rosie had Dad wrapped around her entire body. She was indeed his baby girl. "Daddy is just fine. You don't have to be afraid."
My mother couldn't hold back her emotions any longer, tears streaming down her face.
I felt a lump forming in my throat as I witnessed the depth of our love for one another
"Jasper?" Dad's voice was filled with a father's love and determination. "Jasper, we will get through this," he said, his gaze unwavering. "We're good son. Our family will be okay. Don't worry. Stay strong."
I nodded, my voice barely above a whisper. "I will, Dad. Just please come home."
My mom was still crying.
"Baby, please don't cry," my father pleaded, his voice filled with tenderness. "I have to go now. But please, don't cry. I'm alright. I'll be home soon. Just take care of our children."
She wiped her face, trying to compose herself, and sniffled. "I will."
"See you soon," my father said, his voice filled with determination and hope.
"Okay, see you," my mother replied, her voice quivering with the effort to hold back tears once more.
With a heavy heart, my father ended the call, leaving us in a moment of silence, each of us holding onto the love and strength that united us.
As if on cue, there was a knock on the door. Davis Henley, the lawyer representing both Uncle Mike and my Dad, entered the room. His presence brought a glimmer of hope amidst the uncertainty.
My mama stood and hugged him. "Hi Davis. It's good to see you even if under these circumstances." Davis had been the family attorney for decades.
"Good morning, Jasper, Lizzie," he greeted us, his voice calm and composed. "JP wanted me to come by to provide you with an update on the legal proceedings. But first, how are you feeling Jasper?" He looked at Mom and gave her a side hug. "You okay Lizzie?" She nodded.
"I'm ok, but, I'm worried about my Dad and my Uncle." I told him. He leaned over and hugged and then Rosie.
"That's understandable. Well let me assure you that they are doing well. Michael's family was there for them. I saw Felicia and the boys earlier and they said to tell you that they will be here later today to see you. They are worried about you too Jasper."
My heart raced as I listened intently to his next words. He stood by my hospital bed, explaining the current status of both my father and my uncle.
"Thank you," I said to him, my voice full of anxiety. "I just want them to be okay. I caused all of this." The guilt was so strong that I couldn't help repeating myself over and over again.
"Don't worry Jasper. I'm here to support you and your family through this difficult time," Davis replied, his voice filled with empathy. "I understand that emotions are running high, but blaming yourself won't help anyone. We will fight tooth and nail to build the strongest defense possible and navigate through the legal proceedings."
I wiped away my tears. "Thank you, Mr. Davis," I said, my voice filled with gratitude.
He nodded, his expression resolute. "I'm committed to seeking justice and ensuring that your father and uncle receive a fair trial," Davis assured me. "We will leave no stone unturned in building their defense and presenting their side of the story."
My mother's voice trembled with fear as she asked the question that weighed heavily on all our minds. "Will they have to go to prison?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Davis sighed, his tone filled with empathy. "Right now, it is a possibility," he replied, his voice tinged with determination. "But we have to build our case. We are going to try to prevent that."
More tears welled up in my mother's eyes as she whispered a plea. "God, please no."
Davis reached out and gently placed a hand on her trembling shoulder, offering what little comfort he could. "I understand your fear and concern, Liz," he said softly. "But I promise you, we will do everything in our power to fight for justice and protect your husband and brother-in-law."
I nodded in agreement. Okay, I'll do whatever it takes," I said firmly, my heart aching for my father and uncle. "James is in here."
Davis nodded, his expression serious. "I was told that by your father. I don't have an update on his condition yet, but we will make sure to stay on top of it."
My mother's voice quivered with worry as she asked the next question. "With Jasper being his husband, is he entitled to details about James?"
Davis paused for a moment, considering the question. "If James signed a release giving informed consent and authorization for Jasper to receive information, then yes," he explained. "James would be protected by HIPAA laws even though Jasper is his spouse."
"Can I see him?" Everyone looked surprised. "Not that I care too, but I just need to be sure of some things."
Davis shrugged, his tone understanding. "That's entirely up to you," he replied. "You can at least inquire about his condition and what's going on. It's important to stay informed."
Nodding, I expressed my desire to know more. "I don't necessarily want to see him, but I want to know what's going on," I admitted. "Is he going to jail?"
Davis sighed, and approached my question with caution and reassurance. "Well, right now, it's your word against his. We must gather evidence and witnesses to build a strong defense," he explained. "We will fight for the truth to come out."
Feeling the vulnerability, I turned to Davis with a plea in my eyes. "Will you defend me too?" I asked, my voice filled with a mix of fear and uncertainty.
Davis shook his head gently, his voice filled with compassion. "No, my practice is focused on criminal defense," he said. "However, I have already spoken to your father. At his request, we have referred your case to the best family law attorney in Seattle. They will provide you with the support and representation you need. Is that okay with you?"
I nodded, grateful for the support. "That's fine," I replied, my voice laced with a mixture of relief and trust.
With a renewed sense of purpose, we delved into a discussion about the steps we needed to take. Davis assured us that he would keep us updated on any developments and that we could reach out to him at any time.
As Davis left the hospital room, worry and anger was coursing through me, my mind consumed by a whirlwind of emotions. I turned to my mother, tears welling up in my eyes.
"I can't help but blame myself, Mom," I confessed, my voice filled with self-doubt. "If I hadn't said anything, none of this would have happened. I didn't want the family to get hurt."
My mother reached out, gently squeezing my hand. "You did the right thing by speaking up. We needed to know the truth, no matter how painful it may be."
Anger and frustration bubbled up within me, and I couldn't help but let it spill out. "But look at what happened, Mom," I said, my voice trembling with a mix of sorrow and rage. "James took advantage of me, abused me, and now Dad and Uncle Michael are facing potential prison time. I never wanted any of this!"
Rosie, who had been listening in silence, couldn't hold back her incensed fury any longer. She had been trying to stay calm for my sake. "Jasper, that piece of garbage deserves to rot in prison for the rest of his miserable life," she seethed, her voice dripping with anger. "He betrayed your trust and hurt you. I hope they throw away the key."
"Rosie please let's not get Jazz riled up." Mom pleaded.
"I'm not trying to Mama." She countered. "I just literally can't stand that butt swipe. Bruh makes my butt itch."
"Rosie…"
"Well, I'm right Mama."
I nodded, tears streaming down my face as I absorbed Rosie's words. "I know, Rosie," I replied, my voice quivering with a mix of pain and determination. "I just wish things could have turned out differently. I wish I could have protected everybody from all of this."
My mother's grip tightened on my hand, her voice filled with unwavering love. "Jasper, you are not responsible for the actions of others," she said, her voice resolute. "What James did to you in that yard was unthinkable. And in our house too? I'm not so concerned about the threats he made toward me. What I'm concerned about is how he hurt you in our home. That was a violation of trust and protection. He brought that into our intimate space."
Rosie added, "Damn right, Jasper. Ugh. I am so glad he got his last night. Dad should have pulled the trigger!"
"Rosie girl, that's enough sweetheart." Mom gently stroked her arm. "I understand that you're upset baby, but we need to stay calm."
"Ugh, Mama." She complained. "Ugh I swear I can't stand his ass!"
"I know baby. I know." She said. "However, we'll make sure James pays for what he did, no matter what it takes. Even if it takes hour by hour gathering witnesses and evidence. We will do whatever we can do."
As I looked at my mother and my fiery sister, I was still full of regret.