Chapter 16: Coming Clean

I stirred from my much-needed nap in the hospital, feeling somewhat rested. As my eyes fluttered open, I noticed that the only person in the room was my father. He was eating Chinese food from a styrofoam box. It smelled delicious. I was really hungry since I had not eaten anything since dinner the night before.

"Finally waking up prince?" He said. He smiled. He looked exhausted.

"Hey Dad." I reached for him and he stood from his chair holding his food. He closed the box and placed it on the table. "You're tired."

"I'm good, prince." He wiped his mouth and hands with a napkin and hugged me. "More importantly it's good to see you. I've been waiting for this since they locked me down."

"Your food smells good." My stomach growled. "Mmmm. Dingo's". I knew from the smell it was from one of my favorite local restaurants.

"You know it!" He confirmed. "You wanna a bite." He opened the box and shared a few bites with me. I was literally not bothered that he was hand feeding me. Call me a wuss or whatever, but I mentally needed the extra attention. And he didn't seem to mind.

I smiled. "Thanks. Where's mom and Rosie?" I whispered. He put the food away when I was done.

"They went back home to shower and change, promising to return later. Mickey also visited but decided not to disturb your sleep, so he opted to rest at home with his family. They will all be back later."

I nodded. My body ached so bad, and I couldn't help but complain about the pain. Truthfully I was in a lot of excruciating pain when I had trekked down to see James. That proved to be a mistake. I was paying physically for that "delightful" visit. I was surprised at how my body was responding today verses yesterday. It was scaring me.

I whimpered in agony. "Dad, my head is hurting so bad and everything is hurting. It seems like it's worse today."

"Jasper were you hurting yesterday, son?" He asked genuine concern in his voice.

"Yes, sir." I confessed. "I just didn't want to say anything and ruin it for everybody."

"Jasper we should have taken you here when it first happened. I spoke to the doctor when I came in. You're blessed that you didn't have hemorrhaging in your head yesterday. I know you were going 'bout business as usual, but your injuries are serious son. There's also some old internal injuries that have not healed." He looked at me knowingly, tears spotting his eyes.

Tears fell from my own eyes. "I was scared to tell you Dad."

"But why, Jazz?" He looked puzzled. "I mean, I know James has you terrified of him, but you know how protective we are of y'all kids. Ya'll have always been able to tell us anything. Even the things y'all didn't want to tell us. Fuck you being a grown man, Jasper. I don't give a fuck about that shit! If you needed my help, grown or not, you could've told me and I would had your back. Ain't no way in hell I would have been entertaining James in any way in my house or presence knowing he had just done that bullshit to you. It didn't make no sense for you not to tell me! That's bullshit Jasper!"

I looked at him and covered my face. My eyes filled to the brim and I bawled in my hands. When he saw me and realized he was too harsh, he immediately softened. "Don't cry." He tried to pulled my hands down but I resisted. "Come on now." He rubbed my back. " Hush now. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. That was too much and I'm sorry. Stop crying now." He continued to stroke my back until I settled down. "Hush now. You're alright. You're alright. We're good." He continued to soothed until the only sound was my sniffling.

"You don't know what I had to endure." I sniffled."

"I have a clue."

"But you don't know." I shook my head and wiped my face.

"We'll tell me, son. Come clean."

I wiped my face again with my hands. "James is crazy. He has been abusing me in the worse ways. At home I get beat for just breathing. I can't do anything right. If one thing is out of place I get the hell beat out of me. It's a living nightmare with him. And yes I am scared of him because he's always hitting me. I went to the hospital last week because I got a whipping with his belt and I thought something was broken."

I paused to assess where he was mentally. "Keep going. I'm listening."

"Sorry for how this sounds but I am a sex toy for him. Since we started being with each other, I'm like a drug for him. It's the craziest thing I've ever seen. He wants it everywhere and everyday. I'm so sick of him. And he doesn't always reciprocate. I have ask his permission to enjoy sex with my own husband. It's just so stupid.""

I paused again and waited for him to vomit. But he didn't.

"He won't let me have friends because he's so jealous. He has so much money and he treats me like a trophy in public. He is very comfortable being "out." And he likes to show me off. Then when his friends or guys my age hit on me or whatever he gets mad. Then I have to spend most of the night letting him show me why I don't need other men that I don't want no way. He's a control freak and he buys me expensive stuff I don't like or need but he won't let me have stuff I want. He finally bought me a gaming system."

I shook my head in total disgust.

"On the way here James literally spanked me like I was a child. Just for crying and trying to stand up for myself. I was crying and he lost it on me in the car. He pulled to the side of the highway and he slapped my face and spanked my thighs and legs like I'm a freaking kid. He called me names and smashed my head and face on the window. Then after he did that to me he-"

I couldn't hardly say the words. I shook my head in self pity. I looked at my Daddy through tear stains. Saliva pooled at the corners of my mouth. He stroked my hair and climbed on my bed to sit beside me. He pressed his forehead against mine and I felt his tears becoming one with mine on my face.

I had to finished coming clean to him. "This is why I said you don't know! How can I tell this to you or anybody? I'm a grown man letting someone treat me like this! I was embarrassed to tell you!"

I choked on my saliva. Soon I was able to continued.

"Anyway, he unzipped his pants after he finish showing me who my 'daddy' really is-"

"That fucker ain't your damn Daddy."

"…and forced me to go down on him until he finished. I mean just like that beat and nut."

Now he looked like he wanted to hurl. "I'm sorry Dad. But this is my life. Day in and out. It doesn't stop."

"I'm good son. Pissed but good."

"Dad I swear he gets off on beating me like that and then forcing me to have sex with him. But it's never mutual. He demands and takes what he wants and if I don't do it, I get whipped with belts and straps or anything. He used to wouldn't hit me in my face but now he doesn't care. And it's selfish. He's right. All I am is stupid sissy bitch. Good for nothing but letting him use me."

I started bawling again. He shook his head in disagreement and clutched me tighter to him and comforted me. I felt him kiss my head and he was rocking me. "I got you, son. It's alright now. Never again."

I cried for a while against his chiseled chest.

"Then he wouldn't let me ride in the front seat. He told me how sorry I was and to get my sorry ass in the back seat. He later threatened me with a gun that he had in the glove compartment of his car. I was scared he would hurt someone while we were here. Dad when you live in constant fear and abuse you believe everything. I was trying to protect y'all."

I felt his grip tightening and I knew this made him angry but more so it hurt him.

"And in Ms. Amy's yard Dad he beat me so bad. It's amazing I didn't go to the hospital yesterday. I was trying to desperately put my best self forward before Mama came back from the store. But I was in pain all day. It started in our front yard. Honestly it's probably on everybody's ring cameras"

"Yeah Michael and I were already talking about that. We checked ours and yes we saw the part that happened in our yard up to the point where he drug you into MsAmy's yard. We already asked her to pull her camera and she said she would."

"Does she have cameras in the back? I asked hoping she did.

He nodded. "Yes, she does. Mickey texted me and said he went over to her house to get the jump drive. He looked at it and said it's bad."

More tears.

"That doesn't even describe it." I muttered. "He could have killed me. He has never beat me that bad before. He did that because I fought back and he had to smack the rebellion out of me. He couldn't have me rebelling against him like that. He meant to show me he was in charge. He had warned me before we left that he was going to do that if I got out of line. I guess he meant it. He didn't even know if they were home or not! He didn't care. He was so enraged that he completed was out of his mind."

I shook my head sorrowfully.

"Like I said he gets off on getting his after beating me like that. It's like complete control and dominance is a high to him. He thrives on it. He took my clothes off in the yard and was kicking and grabbing me and hitting me with that belt buckle. That's how I got these injuries. Once he knew he had me under complete fear and submission, he pulled his pants down and snapped his fingers for me to come to him. So I did. I crawled in front of him because he would have knocked me senseless if so stood. I was in pain and crying. I thought he would make me go down on him but he didn't. I'll spare you the vile details of what he made me do to him right there in somebody's backyard. It was so degrading and he got off on that. And once he'd had enough of that he forced himself down my throat all the while telling me he was going to silence the back talking. I couldn't even breathe. If Uncle Mike saw it I'm sure he threw up."

"He did. He told me he did. He was crying his heart out telling me about what he saw. He was devastated. That thing hurt him to his heart. Mickey loves you as much as I do. You're like a son to him. He would do anything for you, prince. He wants to kill James. Like myself, he's regretting not finishing him off."

"I know he loves me. I told you James is so screwed. He duped me. He threatened to bring other men into our bed to turn me out and make me a real man. He even said he was going to sleep with other men who knew how to treat him. He spit on me and that's that. I believe he would sit and watch other men abuse me. He's sick. Something is very wrong with him. Not to take up for him, but I think something happened to him when he was a child."

My father's face contorted with anger, his complexion turning a deep shade of crimson.

"Disgusting. I should have been came to get you from that bastard. I could have found you. But I was trying to give you the space to live your life. I knew something wasn't right."

"I know it's disgusting Dad. I tried to hide this. No one should have to hear how bad this was."

I shook my head in total defeat.

"I don't know. I just feel so defeated. So useless and helpless. There were so many times I thought about ending it all but I kept thinking about you guys. And if it wasn't successful then I would be in so much trouble with James. And this was only the abuse that happened this weekend. Even now I just wanted to die."

He pulled me closer, his embrace a shield against the world, and together we cried out, releasing the pent-up emotions that had consumed us for far too long. He smelled clean as if he'd went home to shower and change before coming here. I was sure he had and grabbed food on the way. His struggle for composure was evident, but he mustered the strength to urge me on, his voice trembling with regret and longing.

"Son, no matter how bad, I need to hear it all," he managed to say amidst his tears. "This happened to you so I need to feel it the best way I can so I can relive your experience. I need to shoulder this son. I need to know what my prince suffered through. I feel like I have failed you as a father. Even though you are a grown man, I should have been there for you sooner." His sorrow poured out, his words drenched in remorse. "I'm so sorry, son. Your Daddy is so sorry. I going to make this right Jasper. I should have finished him."

My heart weighed heavy with a mixture of pain and love as I held onto his arms, the same arms that had fought tirelessly to bring justice to my life just hours ago. In that moment, his embrace became a soothing balm, offering solace and reassurance. With a quivering voice, I called him by the name that had always carried warmth and familiarity, even in the darkest of times.

"Daddy," I whispered, and his tears flowed even more freely. "Please don't cry," I pleaded, my voice filled with an earnest plea. "I know it hurts, Dad, but it's not your fault. You didn't know. You've always been there for me. I love you too. You've already done so much to him. I just don't want you getting into more trouble because of me."

"I should have put him in the ground when I had the chance." He said regretfully. "God it makes want to go finish him now. I do not care about my consequences. I care about you."

He wept for a while longer, then released our embrace to gather himself in the restroom. With a clean face and a warm towel in hand, he returned and gently wiped away my tears, a tangible act of love, cleansing both my face and my wounded soul. I accepted his gestures of care, knowing that every touch was an expression of the love he had for me.

Amidst my pain, the words emerged through my sobs, "My head and private hurts." It was a simple statement, but it held the weight of my suffering.

"I'm sorry, son," he murmured stilled sniffling, his voice filled with empathy. "I'm sorry to breakdown like this and upset you. I should be keeping you calm."

"It hurts so much, Dad." The pain had become relentless, unyielding, threatening to engulf me completely. I guess from all the crying. "It hurts." Each passing moment felt like an eternity of torment with pain.

In response, my father's voice trembled with emotion, his words a lifeline in the storm of my suffering. "I know, son. I'm right here," he whispered, his voice carrying the weight of a parent's unwavering love. He sat in the chair beside me and held my trembling hand tightly between his and kissed it, a symbol of solidarity and support.

Amidst my tears, I found comfort in the unwavering presence of my father. He remained steadfast by my side, offering comfort and strength, even as his own heart ached witnessing my pain. His voice, filled with tenderness and fierce determination, resonated in the room, promising a path through the darkness.

"I'm going to stay right here, Jasper," he vowed. "I promise you, I will stay by your side. When you leave here, you're coming home with me so that I can protect you and take care of you. I'm going to make sure James doesn't get anywhere near you. Man I wish he would. I'll make sure no one ever hurts you like this again, even if I have to spend the rest of my life locked down."

He stood and gently adjusted my covers, his voice filled with tenderness. "Here, lean forward. Let me fix your pillows and sheets. Maybe that will bring you some comfort."

He carefully and cautiously joined me on the bed again. I lay there, allowing his soothing touch to stroke my curly blond curls and calm me down just like he used to do when I was kid. His eyes sparkled with love as he spoke, "Your hair, Jasper, it hasn't changed a bit. Those are the same beautiful curls you had when you first came into this world." Memories flooded his gaze, and a smile danced on his lips. "You're not so little anymore, but you will always be my favorite boy. You'll always have a special place in my heart, Jasper."

His hand caressed my cheek, and I closed my eyes, savoring the warmth of his touch, as he reminisced about my younger days. Lost in the comfort of his words, he continued, "And you know what, Jasper? You're quite handsome too, just like your Daddy." A smile spread across my face, touched by his words.

"What a damn fool to throw away such a gem! James may not have appreciated you, but someday, when all of this has passed and you've healed physically and mentally, a very lucky young man will come into your life. Together, you'll create something beautiful—a love that will bring forth beautiful babies." The hope in his voice resonated deep within me. "And I cannot wait to witness the joy you'll share, my prince. And since Rosie isn't in any hurry to give us some baby grands, we're looking forward to yours."

Okay that made me smile. This time it was genuine.

"There it is. My golden boy's smile. That's what I needed to see." He whispered. My father had such a tender heart. It was hard to believe he could be violent even when necessary. This was all a stark contrast in the Dad I saw last night. Last night he'd morphed into an Avenger.

"Yeah that will be nice."

We both smiled.

"Truthfully I wouldn't even know how to experience and receive love like that. James is all I know about love. He was my first love. I don't even know how to be in a mutually loving relationship." I confessed.

"It will come in time. The most important thing is learning to love and respect yourself. And I am going to help you do that, get therapy or whatever it takes to help make you whole again."

"After James I don't know how to love myself."

"I'm aware of that. But we'll help you get straight. You're among those who love you the most. You're going to be just fine."

I tried to sit up and Dad assisted me. "Dad this is so embarrassing to ask, but I need your help in the bathroom. I have a problem…there…" I explained bashful and blushing. "James injured me yesterday and there is a problem and it has been very painful and swollen. It hurts so bad when I pee."

He nodded in understanding but keeping his anger in check. He stood and assisted me from the bed. "There's no need to feel embarrassed son. It's just me."

"It hurts when I walk, but they told me to walk. I walked to the green tower earlier to see what's going on with James."

His eyes widened.

"It's not like that Dad. I needed to know if he's going to jail or what's going on period. I'll fill you in. I couldn't care less about him."

He nodded and understood. He assisted me to the toilet, his strong presence offering support as I struggled with the pain. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I cried out, "Dad, it hurts so much to use the bathroom. It's getting worse. James really abused me in this area. I'm almost scared to use the bathroom because it's gonna hurt. It's like I feel like I have to pee, but hardly anything comes out. It hurts to even bend over."

"Here let me help you." He gently pulled my pajamas down. "Relax son. I've seen you before. I'm just Dad. Don't be ashamed." Thank God mama had brought a pair of loose fitting ones I'd packed in my suitcase. It made it easy for him to assist. Dad's eyes widened with shock when he saw the damage to my private area.

"I swear 'fore God! That bitch is gone eat shit for hurting my baby like this." He was livid. "Stupid mother fucker. I swear!"

He was talking to himself as he slowly lowered me to the seat. I nearly jumped back up from the pressure but he steadied me as he continued to lower me down.

I started shaking and crying again. I leaned towards his leg and held onto it for support.

"It wasn't hurting like this..not this bad. It's getting worse and something is wrong."

He stroked my hair to soothe me as I continued to hold onto to him. His eyes were full..mostly with anger towards my abuser. I cried out and clutched him harder when I fell an intense burning sensation.

"I'm going to call the nurse. This is not good." He said. "Hang on son." He pressed the nurse's station call button. They would hear it and come to assist me.

Fear and panic took over as I felt a very strong urge to do number two. And I could tell it was going to be an awful blowout.

" Dad you should probably leave. I'll be okay." I sniffled and cried.

"Why do you want me to leave,sport?" He asked.

"This is so damn embarrassing! I don't want you to see me like this. I am a total punk and I have to do number two and it's going to be bad."

He was completely unphased. "I don't give a damn about that Jasper! If you got to shit, you got to shit! If it stinks it's stinks! Hell it won't be the first time I've handle you in the bathroom! Boy please! We all shit! Do what the hell you need to do! I'm your damn daddy and I really don't give a fuck!"

I buried my face between the front of his thighs and let it go. And I was right. It was violent, awful, and it stank! And not to mention the noise. So freaking embarrassing even with my own father!

True to promise, he was unphased. He knew I was embarrassed. "You're okay, Jazz. You're absolutely fine. There is no need to be embarrassed. Just let me know when you're finished."

I gave myself a few more minutes finish and myself a chance to calm down and stop crying. I looked up at my Dad and he was still unbothered. He kept stroking my back to soothe me.

"I'm done." I told him. "Please don't tell anybody."

My Dad chuckled. "Oh, Jasper. You make me laugh." To preserve some of my dangling manhood and dignity, he hand me the toilet paper, but I hesitated. I shook my head. "I can't reach." This was the first time I'd used the bathroom since I left Forks. I didn't know it would hurt to try to wipe my own butt. My face must have been two shades redder. "I need your help."

He smiled. "Sure thing. No problem." My face dissolved into a sea of red. He chuckled again and went right to work and kept working until I was nice and clean. He was gentle probably because when he touch "back there" I squirmed and yelped in pain.

"I'm sorry son." He passed zero judgment although he knew full well why my backside was hurting. He flushed the toilet and washed his hands. He walked back to me drying his hands with paper towels.

"I'm sorry you had to do that and be in here period." I apologized. "I'm such a loser."

"HEY, HEY!" He scolded gently. "What did I tell you about talking down on yourself like that. I don't want to hear that again, prince."

"Yes, sir." My voice was mousy.

"You are not a loser Jazz. You having to ask for help doesn't make you a loser. It's my pleasure to help you, son. And I will do it everyday until you're well enough to manage it on your own. Now don't let me hear that again. Is that clear?"

"Yes. It is. I won't."

"Loser my ass. You are far from it."

He gingerly helped me stand and adjusted my clothing for me. He led me to the sink so I could wash my hands and then back to my bed. This time he picked me up in a cradle hold and lower me down on it. After that he adjusted my covers again.

"If only I was strong as you are, Dad. Physically, mentally, all of it. You know how to handle yourself and business."

"Give it time."

"I'm mean Dad you really, really kicked ass last night."

"I wasn't playing with his bitch ass when I told him I was coming for him bout my baby." He said with absolute confidence and boldness. "I meant what I said."

"Yes you did." I smiled a little. "I'm not a baby Dad." I told him.

"You'll always be mine though. I don't give a damn how grown you get. You're a man and I will respect and treat you as such. BUT, you will always be my blonde headed baby. Don't get it twisted. You are the son of my right hand. I helped make you. Wasn't no other dude butt ass naked in that bed with your mama but me. So that makes you mine."

I couldn't help but to laugh. "Dad I swear you don't have nothing but testosterone in your veins. No blood at all."

"Damn straight. And if that bitch bucks again he gone get knucked. I'm completely done playing games with his bitch ass."

The nurse knocked on the door, and Dad explained the situation and requested an examination of my private areas. He didn't leave my side when she asked him to step out of the room. She asked me if it was okay. I told her that it was. She examined me, and as I continued to complain, she checked me out and noticed the swelling and bruising. "Okay I'm going to call in a doctor to come examine you further Jasper. This looks pretty bad."

I panicked. "Stay calm Jasper." Dad soothed. "You'll be fine son."

The nurse left and came back in within a few minutes with the doctor. Dr. Williams introduced himself, his voice gentle yet authoritative.

"Hello Jasper, I'm Dr. Williams. I understand you've been going through intense pain and have severe swelling in your groin area. Let's have a closer look, shall we?"

I tightened my grip on my father's hand, seeking strength and comfort as Dr. Williams gloved up and approached me. The pain intensified as he examined my groin, and I couldn't help but wince and groan in response. It felt as if every touch caused a surge of agony to course through my body.

"Ow, ow." I squirmed. "It hurts so bad. It hurts." Tears fell again. He kept going. "Oh God it hurts." I clamped down on my Dad's strong hand and forearm. "God."

"I'm almost done Jasper." He assured me. I let out a scream when he lifted my private areas. I cried against my Dad's arm and my legs shook.

"Doc are you almost done?" My father asked. I could tell he couldn't take any more of my pain. This was hurting him as much as it hurt me.

"Yes, we're done. I'm so sorry Jasper." I dropped back on the pillow and my dad clean my face again.

"Come on honey breathe." The nurse said. "Breathe."

I focused on listening to her soothing voice as hot tears fell from my eyes.

"That's it. Breathe, sweetheart." She said.

Unable to contain his fears any longer, my Dad turned to Dr. Williams. "So Doc, what does this mean? Is going to be okay?" He whispered, his voice laced with worry.

Dr. Williams continued his visual examination without touching me further. When he was done he gently pulled my pants back up. His face was etched with concern. "Jasper, I'm quite concerned about the severity of your condition. The swelling and bruising are significant, and I suspect there may be internal bleeding or even a blood clot," he explained, his words filled with a mix of caution and urgency.

My heart sank at his words, a wave of panic washing over me. "But let's not jump to conclusions just yet. We need to run some tests to get a clearer picture of what's happening," Dr. Williams continued, his tone calm and measured. He turned to the nurse. "Any other areas? This young man took a beating." I heart my Dad growl.

Everyone looked up at him. This staff knew for my chart this was due to domestic violence and they knew I was gay. What I'm sure they didn't know was about the ass whipping my folks out on James. I'm sure they knew he was ICU.

"Yes he has anal pain possibly bleeding."

"Hmmm." He said stroke my arm. My eyes widened in fear. " I know Jasper but I need to take a look. I'll spare you now because it's too painful but will you at least consent to let us examine you while we are running tests? We have to make sure you're okay son."

I signed and groaned long and loud. They chuckled including my Dad.

"Thank you Jasper. We will take extra care good of you."

I groaned again. "Only if my Dad can go with me." He smiled and shook his head. He nodded at Dr. Williams who was looking for affirmation.

He turned to the nurse. "I'm ordering bloodwork, and prescribing an antibiotic as a precaution. He needs ice and no tight fitting garments. When he feels up to it assist him with a hot shower to relax his sore muscles and ease his pain. I'll also prescribe pain medication."

She nodded while typing this in my chart.

Dr. Williams explained the tests that would be conducted to gather more information about my condition. He spoke with a calm and informative tone, outlining the procedures that would help in diagnosing and treating the issue at hand.

"Jasper, we'll need to run a series of tests to get a clearer picture of what's happening. First, we'll start with a comprehensive blood test to check for any abnormalities or signs of infection. This will provide us with important insights into your overall health and help us rule out any underlying conditions."

"Additionally, we'll need to perform an ultrasound to examine the affected area in detail. This will allow us to assess the extent of the swelling and identify any potential internal bleeding or blood clots. It's a non-invasive procedure that uses sound waves to create images, providing us with valuable information about the structures and tissues involved."

"To further evaluate your condition, we'll also arrange for a CT scan. This imaging test will give us a more comprehensive view of your pelvic region, helping us identify any potential damage or abnormalities that may not be visible through other means."

Dr. Williams paused, giving me a moment to absorb the information. In addition to explaining the tests, Dr. Williams also discussed the physical and mental health consequences of domestic violence. He emphasized the correlation between being a victim of domestic violence and increased risks for various conditions.

"Jasper, it's important to acknowledge that domestic violence can have significant physical and mental health effects. Being a victim of domestic violence is linked to increased risk for posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, and even suicidal thoughts or behavior. Exposure to traumatic events can lead to immense stress, fear, and isolation, which can contribute to the development of mental health issues. Because of this I'm referring you to a therapist specializing in domestic abuse and trauma." He continued, "It's also crucial to recognize that survivors of domestic violence may internalize verbal abuse and blame themselves for their situation. They may experience anger, resentment, and difficulties in forming new relationships after enduring such abuse."

"The accuracy." I whispered almost to myself. My Dad brushed my soaked curls out of my face.

Dr. Williams explained that survivors of domestic violence are more likely to experience health problems and perceive their overall health as poor compared to those who have not experienced such violence. He highlighted that survivors experience some form of injury related to domestic violence and listed common physical symptoms such as headaches, insomnia, chronic pain, and various gastrointestinal, chest, back, and pelvic issues.

Clutching my father's hand tighter, I felt a surge of vulnerability. "There goes those future baby grands Dad." I whispered, my voice trembling with fear.

My father's voice, steady and filled with unwavering support, reached my ears. "You stop that. You don't know that son. Dr. Williams will do everything he can to figure it out. We'll face whatever comes together." He reassured me.

Dr. Williams acknowledged my worries, his eyes reflecting empathy. "Jasper, let's not jump to conclusions. Our focus is on diagnosing and treating the immediate issue. Rest assured, we'll explore all options to preserve your future fertility if necessary," he said, his voice soothing yet determined.

"Thank you Doc." My Dad extended his hand. I thanked him as well.

"You're welcome. I'll be in touch soon with the results," Dr. Williams responded, his voice filled with determination and compassion. He smiled and left the room.

"Jasper are you hungry sweetheart?" The nurse asked. You missed breakfast and lunch today. You need to eat." She offered to have food brought up, but it would take a while since dinner service hadn't begun yet.

"My Dad gave me some of is food. It's some left but I'm sure it's cold."

"If it's okay I will go heat it up for you."

We thanked her and handed her the food. When she left he turned his attention back to me.

"Don't worry. Everything will be ok."

I sighed.

The nurse returned with the food, presenting it to my Dad with a beaming smile that had become a constant presence ever since she arrived in my room. Oblivious to her charm, my Dad remained focused on me.

"Thank you," he replied, returning the smile.

"Alright, Jasper, I'll be back shortly with your medication and some ice bandages. Here's some water for you." My Dad accepted the water from her, and she bestowed upon him yet another radiant smile. He reciprocated. "Is there anything else you need, sweetheart?"

"Could you please bring a blanket and a pillow for my Dad? He'll be sleeping soon."

"I'm fine, Jasper," my Dad interjected.

She winked at me. "Consider it done. I'll return shortly."

We bid her farewell as she departed from the room.

My Dad adjusted the food on the rolling table and pushed it gently over my legs.

"Dad I think nurse likes what she sees."

I told him. "All that smiling."

"What? What are you talking about?" He asked still making sure I had everything I needed.

"The nurse was checking you."

He chuckled. "I didn't notice."

"I wonder if she will be smiling when Mama gets here?" I looked at him.

He waved me off. "You act like I'm scared of your Mama son. "

I looked at him sideways. He laughed. "Just eat, boy and hush."

"Mmmm, hmm."

I smiled, taking small bites and savoring the taste of his food. "This is good." I remarked. "Thank you for sharing it with me."

"You're welcome, Jasper. I'm glad you're enjoying it."

"I rarely get takeout. It's always fancy restaurants for me. I just never get to experience something normal."

"Well, son, things are changing for you. Your future holds new possibilities. Although with Mickey around, not much might change. He's like the food police with his tomato shakes and protein shit."

I continued eating. "But it's paid off. You guys are as fit as steel."

"I'm not as dedicated, though. Lizzie and I always sneak tacos and ditch the tomato paste smoothies and shit cakes."

We burst into laughter.

"I'm done, Dad," I said.

"You were hungry. Here, drink some water."

"I was greedy and ate it all."

"Good, that's what I wanted. I'm glad."

"Thank you, Dad," I whispered. "Thank you for all the love, for standing up for me, and for fighting for me, literally."

"That's my job, son. And you're welcome."

When the nurse returned, she brought along the requested blanket and pillow for my Dad. She placed them gently near the couch, ensuring his comfort for the upcoming sleep. She also brought my prescribed medication and ice. She helped me get situated with the ice and admittedly it felt good. We expressed our gratitude as she smiled warmly once again before bidding us farewell and leaving the room.

"It sure seems later than three o'clock." He said looking at his watch.

"That's because you're tired. If you're rested you won't be tired when the gang gets here. We have plenty of time to talk. Lay down Dad. You are tired. I'll be fine." I turned the tv on.

"I'm not tired." He went to the bathroom and when he came out he sat on the couch. Before long he was passed out.

I looked over at him snuggled on the pillow under the blanket.

But he wasn't tired! I just smiled thinking about how I was so very grateful he's my Dad.