Before she knew it, the day was repeating again, except this time, Hebe had a shadow looming over her.
The train pulled into the station at District 11, and Hebe was handed another set of cue cards with the same speech from yesterday. She nodded to Ambrosia, slipping them into the deep pockets of her pale green dress. Then the light from outside burst in as the doors opened, and she descended the steps.
She looked around at the citizens of 11, and in every face she saw Niamh and Dean staring back at her. They had the same deep skin tone and dark coily hair and stoic expression that had characterised her former allies. She tore her gaze away from the people and focused on her destination, the armoured car in front of her.
Hebe climbed inside, one of the peacekeepers grabbing her arm to help her up. She was directed to one of the benches at the back, and sat among around five of the troopers. She kept her gaze down, unable to feel at ease around what was effectively the Capitol's armed militia.
Even in a district like 4 which was favoured by the Capitol, she had still seen first hand how dangerous the peacekeepers could be. Several of her fathers colleagues had been beaten by them for 'breaking fishing laws'. Some had even been flogged in the square. It was difficult to believe that that was in their best interests.
Luckily, the car ride wasn't too long, and soon she was arriving at the hall. Unluckily, that meant she was one step closer to having to make that awful speech.
Hebe hadn't expected that all of the squares in the districts would look so similar. The differences were stark in terms of terrain and surrounding buildings, but at the centre there was that same white building and dull concrete stage.
The door swung open and she hopped out, waving to the crowds as she made her way up the steps and through the doors.
She greeted her team shortly, unable to meet any of their eyes, not even Finnick or Mags. Ambrosia didn't seem to take any notice of her worry.
"I'm sure you'll be wonderful, just try and be as enthusiastic as you can, yes?"
Hebe nodded, and let herself be pushed towards the entrance. She took a deep breath in, attempting to dispel her worries, and carved the most dazzling smile she could muster into her face.
The anthem began to play and she stepped out, grinning all the while. The mayor began his speech as Hebe stood off to the side of the stage, all the while trying to avoid looking at either the crowd or the large boards displaying the faces of the fallen tributes.
Then a little boy was walking up to her, holding the cushion with the pin. She swallowed the lump in her throat and accepted, trying not to think that this little boy was Dean reincarnate. He pinned it onto her dress and waddled off the stage. She strode up to the Mayor and shook his hand, keeping up her smile all the way.
Then it was time for the speech.
"People of District Eleven! I'm so happy and so honoured to find myself in this wonderful district today. I've heard so many stories about how beautiful this district and its people are, and I can already see that it's true. The occasion for which I'm here is both a happy and a sad one. I'm happy to share my victory with you all, the victory that was obtained through the strength that was forged in the crucible of the Games. It is this strength that I find to be my greatest prize, for it is this strength that gets us through all hardship, that brings an end to the longest, hardest of nights, and brings us to a brighter tomorrow."
She looked up, turning the cards, steeling herself to confront the images of her former allies.
"Of course, I also owe my victory to Niamh and Dean," The words on the card began to move and dance, and Hebe took it as a sign that now was not the time to read them.
"I only spoke to Dean a few times during training, and he was a sweet, kind boy. His reaping was a… tragedy, and he made a brave choice at the beginning of the games. Niamh I knew a little better," Hebe looked up at the board with the girl's face on it, trying to will away the tears in her eyes, "She was strong and talented, and she taught me things in training that helped me survive through the games. I truly believe that she had the makings of a victor. She died avenging her ally, my district partner, and I am eternally grateful for the sacrifice she made to try and save him. Her death was an incredibly noble one and I will miss her dearly. It is partly because of her that I can stand here in front of you today, and I send my deepest condolences to both Niamh and Dean's families. Thank you. Panem today, Panem tomorrow, Panem forever."
It hurt her to sign off her speech with that soulless Capitol motto, but she didn't want to cause too much of a stir. She knew she had gone off script, but they deserved it. She owed their life to the both of them, and she couldn't simply disregard that.
She bowed, and the crowd clapped for her, much more enthusiastically than the audience from 12 had. They liked her speech. She caught the eye of Niamh's mother, seeing in her so much of her former friend, and nodded at the woman, before returning to her place beside the mayor.
The rest of the ceremony passed quickly, and soon she was walking off of the stage again, flanked by peacekeepers.
Her team clapped as she walked towards them, her prep team and Ambrosia all sniffling slightly. Finnick avoided her gaze, but she chose not to linger on it.
"Hey, Ambrosia, I'm sorry for going a bit off script, I got a little carried away…" She said, smiling sheepishly at the woman, who waved off her concern.
"Oh, it's quite alright dear. I thought your remarks were quite beautiful and eloquent." She said in between sniffs, still dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief.
"Indeed! It was very moving!" Blaire cried, his cheeks obviously tear-stained.
Hebe hadn't realised that her speech had been so affecting, she'd merely wanted to show her gratitude towards the people who had helped her survive.
"Right, that's enough of that! Time to prepare for the party!"
The rest of the evening passed by in a blur, and soon she was boarding the train again, shedding her flowery gown and handing it back to Tigris in return for her own clothes.
She changed back into sweatpants and a black t-shirt, making a beeline for the end of the train, a place she often went for some much needed peace and quiet. She slumped down on the sofa, leaning her head back and sighing softly.
She'd only completed two of her eleven visits so far, and she already felt drained. The muscles in her face hurt from grinning all the time. Even worse, it was her birthday tomorrow. She was turning 19. At some point in the games, she had thought she might not make it to see another birthday. She hated the fact that she had to spend it away from her mother and sister, even worse that it would be while she was spewing Capitol bullshit.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the doors to the compartment sliding open. She lifted her head, smiling in relief when she saw it was only Finnick, clad in his own grey sweatpants and a white shirt.
"Oh, hi."
"Hey."
"Sorry, I'll go." He said, turning around and starting to walk away from her.
"Wait!" He spun back around, "You don't need to leave. Come, sit." She said, patting the spot next to her. He appeared to hesitate for a moment before accepting her offer, walking back and sitting beside the girl.
"What's wrong Finnick?" She asked after a moment, clearly able to tell something was bothering her former mentor.
"Nothing. I'm fine." He replied, his voice stiff, still refusing to make eye contact just like he had after her speech.
"No you're not. Is it about the speech?"
"I- Yes. Yes, it is."
"And?"
"And what?"
She rolled her eyes, poking him in the arm, "What's bothering you about it? And don't try and backtrack and say it's nothing again."
He sighed softly. "I'm worried, Hebe."
"Worried? Worried about what?"
"You, mostly. That speech you made, it was beautiful, don't get me wrong, and it was the right thing to do, but… but I don't want it to backfire."
She nodded. He had a point. The speech she made could easily be seen as inflammatory by Snow, and she definitely didn't want to upset him right now.
"I know," She put her hand on top of his, and he quickly interlocked their fingers together, "But it won't backfire, I'll make sure it doesn't. And I won't be making any more speeches like it again, I barely knew any of the other tributes." Just as she said it, she knew it was a lie, and Finnick knew it too.
"What about her?" He said, not wanting to even say her name unless it upset her. For the past few months, she had been the one who haunted her nightmares the most. She'd seen her death more times than she could count. It had gotten to the point where Hebe didn't say her name anymore either. She couldn't bring herself to, not after what had happened.
"That's different. You know I'm not going to be able to make one of Ambrosia's speeches for her."
"I do. And you shouldn't have to. But I don't want you to give him any more reason to hurt you."
Her heart cracked slightly at that statement, Hebe knowing full well what he was referring to. Her time where she was free from the clutches of Snow was rapidly ticking down, and both of them were all too aware of that fact.
Finnick spent all his time trying to convince her to let him take her place, insisting he could take on the extra 'clients' and that he would rather it was him than her. Hebe, obviously refused, not only because she knew Snow would never agree to that, but also because she couldn't have him doing that for her.
"I know. And I won't. Just one more speech like that. All of the others will follow Ambrosia's to the letter."
He didn't look at her, instead staring down at their clasped hands. But, he hummed his approval anyway, and she smiled at him. They both knew she wouldn't listen to him even if he said no, but Hebe liked having her mentor on board anyway.
They stayed silent for a minute, before Finnick's demeanour suddenly shifted, and his head shot up, his gaze bright with excitement.
"It's your birthday tomorrow." He grinned, and she looked at him, rather shocked.
"How did you know?"
"Well I knew it was in November, so I asked Annie." He replied, still grinning like an idiot.
Hebe rolled her eyes, of course it was her sister who told him, "So why are you so excited about my birthday?" She asked, eyeing him curiously.
"Because. What, are you not excited for your present?" He wiggled his eyebrows at her, delighting in her confusion.
"Present? What present- Oh. You got me a present?"
"Yes. You're my friend, are you not?"
"Huh. I didn't realise we were friends now." She responded, a sly smile creeping its way across her face.
"I'm wounded. Do you not want to be friends with me?"
"Hmm, I suppose I could come around to the idea. Although, it is a little hard to be alone in a room with you and your ego."
"Ego? Never heard of one." He smirked, leaning back in his seat whilst Hebe chuckled at him.
"So, what's my present?" She gave him a wry smile, tilting her head to look at him.
"That," He tapped her nose lightly, "Is a surprise. No telling until tomorrow evening."
She rolled her eyes, sighing. She really hadn't expected him to get her anything for her birthday. After all, she hadn't even realised he knew until moments ago. It was… sweet. She'd never have guessed it, but he was full of kind, genuine gestures, surprising her over and over again.
Sure, she would've expected him to be the type to do some tacky romantic bullshit, but as she had gotten to know him over the past few months, she had quickly realised that Finnick was not at all how the Capitol had made him out to be.
Yes, he was constantly flirting with her, and making all sorts of innuendos, but she quickly realised he had developed it as a sort of defence mechanism to deal with the reality of being a victor. And it was a reality she was also quickly having to come to terms with. However, perhaps the most surprising thing for her about Finnick was how much she had come to value their friendship. He had quickly become one of the most important people to her, her close friend and her confidant. He understood what she was going through, and vice versa. Even more than that, he understood her as a person.
"Oi, Hebeee. Hebeeeee." He sang, waving his hand in her face and snapping his fingers. She jolted slightly, pushing his hand away as he said, "I know I'm handsome, but there's no need to stare."
"Watch it Odair, we don't want your head to explode before the end of the Victory tour."
"Hmm, that's true. But it's not like you help matters with your staring. Gosh, it's like when we first met." His voice went up an octave as he pretended to gush like one of his fangirls back in 4.
"God you're never going to get over that are you?" She sighed, shaking her head.
"Never. It's too funny. I still think you were there to try and catch a glimpse of yours truly."
"And I think that's wishful thinking on your part!"
"No way. It's 100% confirmed. You were blushing and everything!"
She gave him a light shove at that, grumbling curse words under her breath. He ignored her comments and slung an arm around her, pulling her in to ruffle her hair with his other hand. Hebe couldn't help herself and started laughing, trying to push his hand away from her head and escape his clutches. Unfortunately for Hebe, he still had the upper hand strength wise, so eventually she realised it was no use and stopped struggling.
"You're the worst, you know that?" She said, her tone spiteful but her true emotions given away by the grin on her face.
"And? You love it."
"Keep telling yourself that."
District 10 passed without incident. She looked at the crowds of people before her as she made her speech, slightly guilty about using Ambrosia's words as she watched their faces fall, but knowing nonetheless that she made the right decision to ensure her own survival. Besides, she didn't even know the names of the fallen tributes until she read them off of her cue cards. She avoided the gazes of the families as she spoke, not daring to look at them even as she left the stage.
The party was as it always was, rather dull. She did enjoy sampling the range of meats they had in 10, due to it being the district of livestock. She had always loved red meat, steaks and such, but in 4 there wasn't really much around, and all of it was painfully expensive. Hebe supposed that there were still some small perks to being a victor, even if now they seemed few and far between.
Her viewpoint on the games had changed so quickly in the last few months. Before, she had seen them how most others in 4 had, something aspirational and glorious. But now that she knew the truth, she had no idea how she had been so blinded. Every year of her life she had watched children kill each other, yet it had never truly occurred to her just how twisted that was, not until she was in the thick of it.
Despite that, Hebe had never liked the shallowness of the Capitol. Before, she had felt their obsession with pageants and parades to take away from the rawness of the games, that they were dishonouring the power and bravery of the victors by reducing them to cheesy fashion statements. But now, although her opinion was the same, her reasoning was different. She despised the way their materialism distracted from the violence and brutality of the games, dressing it up as something she wanted to participate in.
The people of the Capitol were even worse than the institution, completely oblivious to the suffering in the districts, the starvation and poverty. And, even when small parts of it were revealed to them, they turned up their noses, uncaring and unbothered that they were directly contributing to the issue.
She knew they weren't all entirely evil people, in fact, some of them were empathetic to their struggle, Tigris for example. But others, namely Ambrosia, continued to be rude and condescending to all those from the districts.
She had refused to eat the food they provided, saying it was uncivilised and cruel to the animals they were killing. She obviously didn't realise, or just didn't care, that people here didn't have much choice. They had to farm animals, or they would have nothing to contribute to Panem and to the Capitol, and in turn they would starve. Even if they did have a choice, was it really such a crime to eat meat when the leaders of their country were responsible for a mass killing spree of children every year?
Hebe tried to ignore it, she really did. She tried to understand things from their perspective, but it was just so difficult, having lived the life she had, to turn a blind eye.
"It just irritates me, you know? They come in here, expecting to be catered for, and then turn their nose up at the food they've lovingly prepared!" She whispered as she walked alongside Mags, the old woman nodding firmly in agreement.
"They don't understand the way of the districts. They can't help but view things through their Capitol lens." She replied sagely, her face slightly sad.
"Yes. God, I dread to think what they would have thought of me before I was a victor…" Hebe laughed bitterly, thinking back to the many slim meals she had eaten over the years.
"Hmm. I don't think your escort would have approved."
Hebe snorted at that, imagining inviting Ambrosia for a meal in the Cross household, her reaction to being served fish padded out with what was virtually sawdust.
"You'll have to get used to it I'm afraid, you eventually learn that they don't mean any harm by it all. It's just the way they were taught." Mags sighed, taking Hebe's outstretched arm as they reached the steps up to the train.
Mags wasn't doing too well physically at the moment, it appeared the tour was taking a toll on her. However, Hebe wasn't too worried. Her mind was as sharp as ever.
Eventually they reached her compartment, and Hebe was just about to bid goodbye to her when the woman suddenly told her to wait outside for a moment. She furrowed her brows in confusion, but complied nonetheless, and a moment later the woman re-emerged with a plant.
It was sat in an ornately decorated pot, and a mosaic covered the side, a picture of a wave. Inside sat a plant with a long stem that reached up to a flower, towering so high that the white petals nearly blocked Mags' face. Hebe gasped, recognising the flower.
"It's an orchid…" She said softly, her eyes trailing over the soft petals.
"Happy birthday Hebe." The older woman said, holding the pot out for her to take.
"I- Thank you. Thank you so much. Are you sure? It's beautiful." She asked, hesitant to take the gift, not wanting to be ungrateful.
"I'm quite sure, I selected it for you myself, your mother told me they were your favourite."
Hebe nodded in understanding. Juno and Mags had grown quite close as of late, their combined passion for gardening bonding the two women.
"Thank you Mags. I really appreciate it."
"Like I said, it's my pleasure. Now take it from me before I drop it, it's rather heavy." She laughed, as did Hebe, quickly taking the pot from her mentor.
"Now, you best be off before Finnick gets too antsy." Hebe didn't even bother asking how Mags knew, the woman just always had a sixth sense. She thanked her one last time before leaving, stopping off quickly in her own compartment to place the pot on the coffee table and get changed.
Before she knew it, she was stepping through the sliding doors, her face curving into a gentle grin at the sight of Finnick, looking slightly antsy just like Mags had predicted. By his side was the duffel bag she had seen him boarding the train with, and she laughed in triumph.
"I knew it! I knew something was suspicious." She wagged her finger at him and he laughed, holding up his hands in surrender.
"Yes, yes you were right, now hurry up and sit down so you can open your present," He grinned widely, patting the spot beside him just like she had done the night before. Hebe slumped down onto the sofa, pulling the bag onto her lap as her friend watched eagerly beside her, the smile on his face never faltering.
She unzipped the central zipper, trying to work out what it could possibly be from the shape. It seemed to be something solid, and as peered down she slowly revealed brown canvas fabric. The bag fell away at the sides and she was left with a violin case, but not her case.
She gaped up at him, shock written indiscriminately across her face.
"You didn't." She said, not even able to smile, she was so surprised.
"Oh but I did. Go on, open it."
She did as he said, pulling the zipper back and undoing the clasp on the front, gasping as she saw the instrument that lay inside. It was truly the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.
It was a deep mahogany colour, and vanished until it practically sparkled in the light. The case was lined with a plush velvet, and the hardware was clearly high quality. She unclasped the fastening around the neck, and as she lifted it out of its place, she noticed carvings that trailed around the f-holes and down the sides, beautiful intricate vines.
Hebe brushed a thumb across the strings, revelling in their deep tone. She felt tears begin to well in her eyes at the kindness of the gift, and she sniffed quietly, trying to will away the tears. After all, she hated crying in front of people.
Finnick noticed her silence, placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, "Are you alright? Sorry, do you not like it? I thought you would, it's alright I can…" He trailed off as she turned to face him, the brightest smile he had ever seen crossing her face.
"Are you insane? Finnick, this is, I mean, I can't even put into words, it's… it's perfect, thank you so, so much." She placed the instrument and case onto the table, turning her body to pull him into a tight hug. He sighed in relief, realising that she wasn't disappointed. How he thought she could be disappointed was a mystery to Hebe.
They pulled away, and he returned her smile, "So you're happy with it then?"
"I'm overjoyed with it. This is the best gift I have ever gotten." She wiped away the traces of tears around her eyes, returning to inspecting the violin.
"I mean, where did you even get this?" She asked, turning it over in her hands, before placing it back and moving onto the bow. Even that had little details, the same vines as before carved into the wood at the top.
"Oh, uh, I had it made." He said, slightly sheepish.
"You had it made?!" She gaped at him again, her eyes widening to the size of saucers.
He enjoyed her reaction, the confidence returning to his voice, "Yup. You know Old Marvin, the nutter who has the little woodworking shop in the square?" She nodded, "He did it for me, threw in the case free of charge."
Hebe suddenly gasped in realisation, "Oh god, how much did it cost? How much do I owe you?"
Finnick looked at her for a moment, trying to discern whether she was messing with him or not. Then, when he realised she was serious, he started laughing, unable to contain himself.
"Hebe, you can't be serious. It's a gift, you don't need to pay me for it. God only knows I have more money than I need."
"Are you sure? I'm sure this wasn't cheap…"
"Of course it wasn't cheap! I wasn't going to be stingy about your birthday, now was I?!" He cried, his amusement still clear in his voice before he grew suddenly more serious again, "Hebe, I wanted to get something for you, something that would make you happy. That's all the payment I need. That, and some live performances."
She sighed, but was convinced nonetheless, and soon the smile was back on her face, "I suppose I could give you a private concert," She said, a soft smile crossing her lips as she looked at her friend, unable to comprehend how she had managed to get quite so lucky.
Finnick looked back at her, nodding, not taking his eyes off her as she continued to inspect each area of her present. He was grinning like an idiot the whole time, abuzz as he realised that it was the first time since her games that she was unadulteratedly happy. In that moment he also realised that he would do anything to keep that smile on her face.