"I have to tell you something."

Mary looked up from her book and raised a curious eyebrow at her brother. Edward was sat opposite her, almost matching her. He held a book in his hand, but the pages hadn't been turned for some time, suggesting that her brother had read the same two pages repeatedly.

"What do you have to tell me, darling?" Mary asked.

Edward pulled a face, a look that Mary associated with guilt or at least, a look that told her that her brother had done something or heard something he shouldn't.

"The other day…it was before the rest of you returned home for Christmas…Tony Foyle showed up and asked to speak to Papa." Edward replied.

"Tony? As in-"

"I know who Tony is, Mary. I might be your little brother, but I know who you're seeing." Edward interrupted.

Mary smiled and nodded.

"What did he want?" Mary asked.

"He and Papa went to the study for a private conversation and I listened in at the door-"

Mary chuckled amusingly.

"Were you caught?"

"Carson saw me and asked what I was doing but he simply looked the other way when I told him that Papa was talking to your boyfriend-"

"Tony isn't my boyfriend. Not officially any way." Mary sighed.

"Anyway…Tony was asking Papa for permission to propose to you. I think he plans on popping the question soon."

Mary felt stunned yet grateful that her brother had eavesdropped on the conversation. She hadn't seen Tony since their weekend together two weeks ago, she had been spending her time between the office and Downton with all the Christmas events that they had been holding. Tony had been busy meeting with architects and builders about starting the renovation and restoration of his ancestral home. The opportunity to tell him the truth about her view on their time together and to end their dalliance had yet to present itself.

"What did Papa say?" she asked curiously.

"Papa said that he wasn't comfortable having that discussion when you hadn't given any indication that you and he were serious. He also said that ultimately, it would be your decision if you wanted to marry Tony and if it was what you wanted, and Tony made you happy…he would be happy for you." Edward replied.

Mary nodded.

She couldn't believe that Tony had the gall to go behind her back and ask her father for permission – as if she were living in a different century where women had no say over their lives. She hadn't even had a chance to interject during their weekend together when he started rambling about their future together and what he envisioned them getting up to. Due to their busy schedules, they hadn't yet met up to discuss anything either.

"Thank you. Maybe one day, you could outshine Mr. Poirot's detective work." Mary chuckled.

Edward grinned.

"I'd need to refine a few skills before I'd be just as good. But what will you do if Tony does propose?" her brother asked.

Before Mary could answer, Matthew and Lavinia walked into the library, interrupting their conversation.

"Tony is proposing?" Lavinia asked brightly.

"Uh…Lavinia…" Matthew said delicately.

"What? It's exciting. Two weddings within the family." Lavinia gushed.

"I'm not supposed to know. I've been told that Tony asked Papa for permission to propose." Mary stated.

"And you're excited?" Lavinia pressed.

Mary frowned at the redhead's immediate need to know about Tony's upcoming proposal. It was strange that Lavinia was so invested in knowing how she was feeling about Tony's intention to propose or the prospect that, if she were to accept which wasn't the way she was inclined, there would be two weddings to plan.

Her eyes met Matthew's as she noted the pained expression on his face. Their mutual gaze only lasted a moment before she turned her attention back to Lavinia, who had taken the empty seat next to her.

"I won't be accepting the proposal." Mary replied delicately.

"Oh…"

There was an awkward pause as they were joined by Edith and Sybil.

"Who is proposing?" Edith questioned curiously.

"Tony to Mary." Lavinia answered quickly.

Mary rolled her eyes.

"Oh…that's awfully quick…you've only been seeing him for a few months." Edith commented, taking a seat next to Edward.

"Be nice." Sybil pleaded.

"I won't be accepting, and I'd like everyone to stop discussing my personal life like it's the next gossip in our social circle." Mary snapped firmly.

"But why wouldn't you accept?" Lavinia asked, "He's so nice."

"I don't need to justify my reasons to anyone," Mary stated firmly, "Now, if you will all excuse me, I have some last-minute preparations for the carol singing tonight to sort out."

Getting up from her seat, Mary hurried out of the room quickly and breathed slowly, trying to rid herself of the annoyance that had built within her during Lavinia's interrogation. She hadn't wanted the others to walk in and interrupt her conversation with Edward and then be interrogated on the why she wouldn't say yes and how she would feel about the proposal. Now her entire family knew about it and would know her answer to the proposal.

As she took her coat out from the closet in the great hall and pulled it on, deciding to go for a walk before she finished the last-minute details of the carol singing event tonight. She exited through the front doors and walked across the snow-covered lawn, feeling thankful that she was wearing her winter boots which protected her feet from the cold.

She found it frustrating that Tony had gone to such lengths to secure her commitment. The fact he had gone to her father to ask permission…in the twenty-first century where women had control over their lives…it just made her feel angry. They had slept together, what should have been that next step to making their relationship official and committed. The next step should have been about them making plans as a new couple – like who would be staying over at whose home, where they would next go out for dinner, if they would do dinner dates with friends and a possibly weekend break together. Not how many kids they were going to have, when they would get married and how many countries they would travel to. Not to mention who would be quitting their day job to take on new responsibilities.

"Mary! Wait up!" a voice called.

Stopping in her tracks, she turned around to see Matthew powerwalking through the snow.

"Matthew, what are you doing?" Mary asked, when he finally caught up to her.

"You forgot your gloves and scarf."

Mary took the items from him and wrapped the scarf around her neck before pulling on her gloves. She thanked him quietly and invited him to walk with her, finding herself not minding some company.

"Does Lavinia know you're out here?" Mary asked.

"Yes. I told her that I had to help you with the last-minute details, but I also wanted to apologise for Lavinia's eagerness." Matthew replied.

"Why was she so eager?"

"We've had to postpone our wedding planning, so I think she's living vicariously through others at news of a wedding."

Mary nodded. She had guessed that with Matthew being made redundant from the law firm would make a wedding be on the backburner of priorities.

"Out of curiosity…"

"What?"

"Why wouldn't you accept Tony's proposal? I know it's only been a little while since the two of you…"

"You really want to know?" Mary asked.

Matthew nodded as they walked, and they stopped at the snow-covered bench where Matthew had once proposed to her.

"Tony and I aren't compatible for a future together, I am planning on talking to him but he's going a hundred miles per hour since we-"Mary trailed off.

"You slept with him?" Matthew deduced.

"Yes."

Matthew nodded stiffly.

"Does that bother you?" Mary asked.

A flash of panic flew across his face as he met her gaze.

"W-why would you ask that?" Matthew spluttered.

"Because you seem bothered." Mary pointed out.

Matthew looked away from her, trying to avoid her gaze. Mary stood there patiently, waiting to see whether he would answer or not. Things between them had been polite at best which only made her feel awkward since that day she and Anna were discussing her relationship with Tony.

"M-Mary-"

She stepped closer to him, trying to catch his gaze.

"Matthew, it's okay. It's not easy seeing someone you once loved move on with someone else. I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable." She said quietly.

Finally, he looked at her.

"I didn't think it would be difficult. Before I came back to Downton…when I was building a life with Lavinia…"

"I know," Mary smiled sadly, "Being apart hurts but it dulls the pain somewhat when you don't have to see the other person regularly."

"I'll hopefully be in another job soon." Matthew sighed.

"Can we enjoy Christmas with the family? Put aside the awkwardness?"

Matthew nodded and Mary smiled again, and they turned back towards the house, the cold making their exposed skin on their faces sting. Before they reached the front doors, Matthew stopped and called her name. She turned around, looking at him curiously.

"What is it?" Mary asked.

"Do you love Tony?"

She felt her heart rate spike at his question. It was unexpected and to hear him ask surprised her. She had never thought that she would hear something like that come from his lips. And before she could even think of how to answer, the words came out of her mouth.

"No, I've never…"

Her eyes met his once more as he stepped closer to her, his gloved hand reaching for hers. Mary looked at him curiously, about to reach for his hand to close the gap between them when they heard Robert calling for them both.

Both looked away from each other and headed back inside the house to finish the final touches for the last Christmas event of the season at Downton.

oOo

After the carol singing event had finished, most of the family had headed to bed. The evening had been filled of talk with memories of past Christmases. The family had gathered around the extremely large Christmas tree that stood in the Great Hall lit up the room, sending twinkling lights to hit one eye's wherever they stood in the room and gazed upon it. Tinsel and garlands hung from every surface that Mary looked at and seeing it made her smile, remembering fondly of her childhood and the Christmases she had spent at Downton.

Most of the family had headed up to their bedrooms for an early night whilst Mary had found herself in the library. Her eyes moved to a far wall from where the family usually sat together by the fireplace, her eyes scanning the various photographs that were hung on the wall. She smiled as she gazed at one of the photographs in which she was a child, sat in front of the Christmas tree with her arms wrapped around her brother who was dribbling on her hands. Edith and Sybil sat on either side of each other, and all had big grins on their faces. It was Edward's first Christmas when the photograph had been taken and she could remember quite clearly the look of amazement on her baby brother's face as he stared at the bright colours on the tree.

"I thought I'd find you in here."

Mary turned around, smiling as Matthew entered the room. He joined her and looked at the photograph with her, resting a hand on her shoulder.

"Edward's first Christmas." He noted.

She nodded.

"Those few moments where we had a photograph taken was one about us. Just us. The Earl of Grantham's children. No Patrick the surrogate son to spoil things. Mama wanted a photo of her girls and her baby boy and for those moments, that experience wasn't ruined. Afterwards, Patrick did everything he could to make himself the centre of attention." Mary sighed.

"In a way I do feel for him.

He didn't have parents in the biological sense and being raised by Cora and Robert, they loved him like a son, and he thrived on being spoiled rotten." Matthew said quietly.

"He was always an insufferable prick. He loved being the heir presumptive. He loved rubbing it in my face that he would be the next Earl and how I couldn't inherit because I was a girl. The day Edward was born was the worst day of his life." Mary sighed.

"I remember. But you never showed it that his bullying bothered you. If anything, you either ignored him or made sure he knew just how you really felt about him." Matthew added.

Mary smiled sadly.

"I never liked him but now that he's gone, I have found myself wondering if I could've been better." She admitted quietly.

"Mary, you have a good heart-"

"Do I?" Mary interrupted, looking up at him, his arm still on her shoulder, "Everyone believes I don't have a heart."

Matthew smiled down at her reassuringly, giving her shoulder a squeeze.

"I know different," he stated in a whisper, his head lowering to her level, "I've always known."

Mary turned to face him. Her heart beating anxiously against her chest.

"Have you? I always imagined that you hated me given how our relationship ended."

"I have never hated you. I may have…been angry and sad…but I know that I have never hated you."

"I wish I hadn't hesitated, Matthew. I wish I could have explained myself better." Mary sighed.

Matthew moved his arm from her shoulder down to her side, taking hold of her hand and giving it a light squeeze.

"You know Violet encouraged me to truly consider if I were making a mistake in marrying Lavinia." He admitted.

Mary felt a little shocked by what he had just told her.

"Really, why?" she asked.

Matthew smiled amusingly as he pondered for a moment.

"She thought I was being a fool for the second time in my life. This time by marrying the wrong woman." He replied.

"Classic Granny. What did you say?" Mary asked, her eyes meeting his.

"I told her that she couldn't expect me to throw Lavinia over after she was the one who made me happy again after simply existing since we parted ways."

"Of course not."

"How ever much I might want to."

Her eyes widened with shock.

Had she just heard him correctly?

"Absolutely not." Mary breathed.

They shared a look. A moment of blissful silence. No words were said, none were needed. Matthew simply pulled her to him, and his lips descended on her own. Feeling his lips move against hers felt like a dream. Her arms wrapped around his neck as her mouth moved with his, his tongue caressing hers softly as his hands held her hips. They stood there, simply enjoying the sensation that they had both missed over the last four years. Mary moaned into his mouth happily, her fingers playing with the hair on the back of his head as thoughts of wanting more filled her mind.

Thoughts of holding his hand as they walked up the stairs together. Sharing a goodnight kiss if they parted ways to their bedrooms. If they separated at all.

Thoughts of waking up to him in her bed in the morning, just like she had missed in the last four years.

Thoughts of making love to him.

This is what she had been missing for the last four years. That familiar scent, that familiar touch, that familiar feeling.

She had missed Matthew.

As she felt him grip her waist, pulling at her blouse that had been tucked into her jeans, Mary gripped his collar tightly and moaned into his mouth. She felt Matthew's fingers pull her blouse from her jeans, his fingers lightly touching the bare skin of her abdomen. She pulled away; her breath hitched as she felt his lips press against her throat. She let out a breathy sigh and closed her eyes, her skin running hot as she recalled the last time that she had felt this way with Matthew.

She felt him pull away from her and she opened her eyes, meeting his loving stare as his fingers slowly caressed her cheek.

"Matthew-"

He moved his fingers from her cheek to her lips, gently silencing her.

"I shouldn't have done this." Matthew muttered, pressing his forehead against hers.

"No, we shouldn't." Mary sighed.

They said nothing further as they stayed close together for a few minutes more before Matthew bade her goodnight and left her alone in the library. Mary was unsure how long she stood frozen in the spot she stood, tears flowing down her cheeks absentmindedly, as she realised that she still loved Matthew and that everything between them would be nothing short of messy going forward.

oOo

Back in London, Edna Braithwaite wrapped her dressing gown over her naked body and stepped out on to her balcony, lighting a cigarette that she pulled out of the pocket. As she took a drag of the cigarette and slowly blew out, she heard the balcony door open and close behind her. Out stepped a tall man with dark hair, dark eyes and wore nothing but his boxer shorts and shirt.

"Got a spare?"

Edna pulled the packet out of her pocket and chucked it at him, along with her lighter.

"Nothing better than a smoke after a fuck." Edna laughed.

The man nodded his agreement and lit up a cigarette and handed her back the lighter and packet.

"I have to say, you don't bore me like the others do."

"That's because I don't get clingy, Alex. I like the excitement." Edna stated.

Alexander Green grinned as he took a drag of his cigarette and shuffled closer to her.

"One thing I can't wait for is to see the look on Lady Mary's face when she realises her boyfriend's assistant is fucking her assistant. There's nothing private in the office." Alex laughed.

"Definitely nothing private," Edna agreed, "I just can't wait to see the prissy's face when she realises that we've fucked in the office too."

Alex laughed as Edna finished her cigarette, putting the end out into the ashtray.

"There's something taboo about fucking in the empty office of a murdered man. Makes it more thrilling in my opinion." Alex laughed.

"Why don't you show me how thrilling you find our arrangement?" Edna suggested.

With that, the two headed back inside Edna's flat.