The name echoes through the square. It's that silent. For a moment, I think that I've misheard Rolanda. I mean, I probably have. Right? Right!? There's no way the name she called was actually…
Tullia Canale!
Except it was. It's my sister.
"No," I say, my throat having gone completely dry. Speaking suddenly feels a thousand times harder. I watch in horror as Tullia slowly exits the crowd. Our eyes lock when she suddenly turns back. I can see the tears running down her face but she forces a smile at me. I can't smile back. There's nothing to be happy about.
Tullia has just been sentenced to death.
I shake my head. Tullia heaves a silent sigh, wiping her face before turning away and walking towards the stage. The air is heavy and breathing has suddenly become very difficult. I want to scream, to beg her to turn around and come back, or for Rolanda to draw another name. You can't take her, that's my sister! Give her back!
But nothing happens.
Slowly but surely, Tullia climbs the steps of the stage. Very deliberately and calculating, as if she's already worried one wrong step could spell out even further doom. Rolanda, Gardenia, and the mayor all watch her move, way too robotic for my tastes. That means she's in shock. Everyone is watching. I can't even think of tearing my eyes away. Tullia wipes her eyes with her arm again and stands still at Rolanda's side.
"Any volunteers for Tullia?" Rolanda asks.
Yes. Someone, volunteer! I don't care who it is! Tullia can't go into the Games! I need her here, she's the only family I have left who truly cares about me. I don't know what I'll do without her.
Nobody moves. Nobody raises their hand. Nobody does anything.
Cowards! I want to scream. Tullia just tries to smile, but it immediately cracks.
Everything moves in slow motion as Rolanda steps towards the second glass ball. "Well, in that case. We'll move on. For the boys, our tribute is…"
I feel my hands ball up into fists. I almost miss it.
"Cicero Canale!"
You've got to be FUCKING kidding me.
"No!" I yell out, causing the kids surrounding me to jump. "This is bullshit!"
On the stage, Tullia gasps. Rolanda looks rattled by my voice, dropping that wretched slip of paper that just so happened to have MY name on it. I immediately decide that I hate her. I hate her with every fibre of my being. For dooming both my sister and I to certain death.
"Cicero Canale? Please come up to the stage."
Nearby Peacekeepers start to move towards me. Well, screw that. I can walk myself up there just fine, thank you very much! I push through the crowd, not caring who I shove or if I step on any toes. A Peacekeeper reaches out to grab me but I slink past him. "Don't touch me."
The Peacekeeper knows what's good for him and backs off. I make no attempt to hide my anger and frustration. I'm pissed, and I know I have every right to be. My nails dig into my skin, and that's the only thing that grounds me as I stomp up towards the stage. I want to punch something, someone, but I can't land myself in any more trouble so I keep my hands frozen at my side.
The second I make it up, Tullia rushes towards me and envelopes me into a hug. I release my hands and hug her back. "I'm so sorry," she whispers, her voice catching in her throat.
"This is bullshit," I say again. Because I know it is.
Tullia doesn't respond. I hear Rolanda asking for volunteers. She sounds desperate. Well, fuck her. It's ten times worse to be me than it is to be her. She has no right to pretend she's upset over this. It's not her who just got Reaped alongside her own sibling!
Nobody in the crowd moves. "Of fucking course," I grumble.
"It's f-fine," Tullia stammers. "We'll be alright."
I look in her eyes. Even she knows she's lying.
A million thoughts course through my head, the majority of them being about how absolutely fucking unfair this is. Because it is. It doesn't surprise me when Rolanda gives up and the despair kicks in fully.
"Um, ladies and gentlemen, I give you your tributes for the 26th Hunger Games: Tullia and Cicero Canale. Tributes, if you could please shake hands?"
Tullia's hand is absolutely clammy and I can't imagine mine feel any better. The second we pull away, she starts sobbing. I want to cry too, but something inside me tells me that I can't. I have to stay strong and put together. For the both of us.
If I fall apart, then it's all over.
Once we hit the Justice Building, the Peacekeepers herd Tullia and I to separate rooms. I want to rip their heads off, but I keep my composure because getting beat up by a Peacekeeper would just be the cherry on top of my proverbial shit sundae and probably not the best idea. Instead I just flop back on the couch and try not to breathe in too much of the foul smelling air as a dust cloud suddenly pops up around me. This place needs serious cleaning.
I find myself staring out the cracked window, watching the crowds of people head home. I can't help but feel a little jealous. All these families that get to stay whole when mine has been horrifically torn apart.
As per usual, life is simply not fair.
I stare at the door and wait for it to open. Five minutes pass, each one feeling agonizingly long, until eventually Maurie and Jess stumble in. I see Tacoma lingering in the doorway, before Jess eventually turns around, grabs their hand, and yanks them in.
"Hey, Canale." Maurie gives me a little wave. "How are you feeling?"
"Like shit." There's not much of a point in trying to sugarcoat things, so I don't. Jess smiles sadly at me, but it doesn't do anything to make me feel better. I don't blame her though. There's nothing that she, or anyone, could really do.
"What are you gonna do?" Tacoma asks.
"I…" I feel a pang in my chest. "I don't know."
"Poor kid," Jess sighs.
"Hey," I mutter. "I'm not a kid anymore, alright? I'm a teenager. I'll…" My voice catches and I hate how high-pitched it suddenly gets. "I'll figure something out."
Maurie seems skeptical. "How?"
"I mean, what other choice do I have?" I feel the despair bubble in my stomach. "I don't exactly want to die. But I don't want Tullia to die either. It's the stupidest conundrum I've ever had to face."
"Maybe you'll both be allowed to win?" Tacoma asks with a shrug. "Maybe everyone will feel bad because of how much this sucks."
"That's stupid," I mutter.
"Hey!" Jess scolds. "Be nice to them."
"What? It's never gonna happen! Maybe if we were a district that Capitolites…" I probably shouldn't be voicing that opinion in a government building. Last thing I need is to paint a giant target on my back. "Anyways. They're not gonna change the rules for us. They haven't done anything like that in twenty-five years."
"But if they can have Quells and special twists," Tacoma insists. "They can have two Victors."
"I wish," I grumble. "But Tullia's gonna want me to make it out over her. I know she will. And I'm the selfish one. I won't be able to say that I'd willingly sacrifice myself so she could win."
Jess pats my hand. "You're not selfish for not wanting to die, Cicero."
I don't know how to respond to that.
There's a knock at the door. We all look up as a Peacekeeper sticks their head in. "Time's up."
"Shoot," Maurie mutters. "Well, we'll see if we can help you, man. Go start a campaign to sponsor you stuff. Sure we may have not had a Victor, but if 12 can do it, why can't you?"
"You have a lot of faith in me."
Maurie smirks. "First time for everything, Canale. Stay safe."
Tacoma waves and Jess blows me a kiss as they follow the Peacekeeper and the room is empty, save me. Minutes slowly pass by as I think about what comes next.
My emotions are jumbled and messy, but the main one that sticks out is exhaustion. I'm too tired to feel angry and upset anymore. I'm like a burnt match, my energy drifting off in a wisp of smoke. I've used up everything I had left in me and now I'm just numb.
I don't know what's left for me to do or say that I haven't already said, mainly in the form of cursing. That felt good. But there's only so many times I can keep repeating how unfair this all is before everyone starts to get bored and tunes me out.
There's so many things I want to do. I want to pry open the window and run for my life. I want to beg Rolanda for one last chance to redo the Reaping. I want to hug Tullis and ask her what the plan is because I don't have any idea. All my thoughts are just variations on being tired and terrified.
How much longer do I have to sit in the smelly room anyways?
A few more minutes pass by, but then the door finally opens again and a Peacekeeper beckons for me to follow her. In the hallway, I see Tullia exit another room. She's been crying. I don't comment. She's holding a tiny stuffed rabbit.
"Where did you get that?" I ask.
"Mercedes gave it to me." Tullia hugs the plushie close. "To use as my token. But it can be yours, if you want."
I shake my head. "Keep it. I'll be fine."
I wrap my arms around myself as we are led out of the Justice Building and towards the waiting train. Gardenia and Rolanda are already waiting for us inside. That's when it finally dawns on me.
My own mother didn't come to see her children.
Third chapter out! Sorry it took so long, I got distracted by other projects.
Eight slots are still open so if you want to submit and you haven't yet, grab a slot before they're all gone! All submission info is in the first chapter and remember there's a maximum of three submissions per person.
See you all in the next chapter,
-Vr