A/N: This is the thanksgiving oneshot - its not canon to the Girl's Mind verse, more like a crack AU to it. around thanksgiving there were lots of tumblr posts about wanksgiving so i tried to write sex, chickened out, and wrote a fade-to-black instead XD
thanks for reading, and have fun!
The mission goes suspiciously well, which honestly should have been Sasuke's first clue.
But no, they go out, get the job done, stop at an inn honestly a stone's throw from Konoha just because they can and-
Well.
The mission going flawlessly should have been his first clue.
"You think Kakashi-sensei'll take us out for ramen when we get back?" Naruto bounces in his seat as Sasuke waves down the lady taking orders. He scoffs. "And stiff us with the bill? Absolutely."
Natsu snorts. "Yeah, that sounds about right. Miser wouldn't know how to take someone out to dinner if you robbed him for it! What're you getting?"
"I can dream!" Naruto protests, before turning to ask the server if they sell ramen.
At the inn's local dining hall.
The blind optimism of fools, Sasuke supposes. No one's making proper ramen in the tiny kitchen he can see past the counter, but far be it from him to burst the dobe's bubble.
He's not quite sure how much he trusts any of the food on the menu, honestly, that kitchen does not look well-off. Best just stick with tea, maybe.
The conversation meanders easily, a little about the job, a little about the village, at one point Natsu grouses about Igneel giving him headaches and then grouses MORE as he relays Sakura's own complaints in an exhausted tone. Clearly both not wanting to make the effort to relay her words but also not wanting to cut her out of the conversation entirely, and once again all Sasuke can think is better her than me.
After almost three years of Natsu's presence, Sasuke can't even picture Sakura's mannerisms anymore, can't imagine seeing anything other than the wild, excessive gestures and high energy that comes with Natsu. If he focuses he thinks he can recall her, equal turns loud and subdued, curling into herself and then exploding out for a moment before tucking away again. But it's fuzzy, half-overwritten by Natsu's constant motion.
Even when he's sleeping, he doesn't stay still.
Naruto laughs at the twos' misfortune, fully prepared to boast his own immunity to headaches, and Sasuke can practically see the fight building.
He's never been more grateful to be interrupted by the server coming back around, because he is not ending this mission with another civilian property damage charge, even if he has to hogtie Natsu and knock him unconscious to ensure it.
Which means he needs to change the topic.
Now.
"Gai-sensei should be back in the village now, right? Think we could sic him on Kakashi again?" The twin faces of impending mischief that turn towards him would absolutely terrify just about anyone who has the misfortune of knowing Team 7, he well knows. Sasuke grins back, sharp enough to cut. "We still have yet to pay him back for that Tora run last month..."
"I almost forgot," Naruto breathes, as though Sasuke doesn't know he keeps a journal of all the offenses he needs to prank Kakashi for, "He can't get away with that, 'ttebayo!"
"The way you hit your head when he turned the field into a giant mudslide? I'm surprised you remember anything at all," Sasuke quips, stealing one of Naruto's skewers as the blond looks away.
"HEY!"
…he was right, it is awful. What is that flavor?
If he puts it down Naruto will not let it go though, so he keeps eating, smug grin in place with a will of steel.
It's so bad.
"How d'ya think we should get Gai involved this time then? Last time he practically refused, accused us of manipulating him!" Natsu waves his hand, nearly losing the food off his chopsticks.
"And who's fault is that?!" Sasuke bites, before rolling his eyes. "And I was just thinking we'd suggest some joint training. It's been a while since we worked with Team 9, and Kakashi won't be able to just walk out on us, not with Gai-sensei wanting him to 'youthfully participate in the development of his former genin!'"
"Ugh, you're gonna make me ask dad for more salve aren't you."
"You'll live."
"Do y'think we can maybe sabotage Kakashi-sensei for a change?" Sasuke glances over at Naruto, raising a brow. "I just mean, he's always sabotaging our Tora missions! And Gai likes to challenge him to those crazy stake battles right? Betcha Kakashi-sensei can't read his pervy novels when he's running around Konoha on his hands!"
Sasuke snorts, as Natsu chokes laughing on his food. "That would be something to see. But if he even suspected sabotage, he wouldn't do the penalty. I don't know if we can fool him on it."
"But we could try?"
"Of course!" Natsu pumps a fist, grinning. "I've been itching to try out some of the stuff Inoichi-san taught me anyway!"
Naruto's grin gains a distinctly sharp edge to it, as he casts a glance towards Sasuke.
As though the dobe even needs to ask.
Of course he's in.
…if only because these idiots would never manage it without him.
Later, Sasuke will curse himself ten types of fool, because in hindsight it's so obvious. They finish their meals and stand, and Natsu stumbles.
They laugh it off, heading up to the rooms, because Natsu exhausting himself on missions and ending up dizzy and off-balance is just a reality of his situation.
Sasuke only remembers much later that Natsu didn't light anywhere near enough things on fire to warrant that sort of instability.
Naruto's head is pleasantly fuzzy, in a way only alcohol after a long argument with the Kyuubi really manages.
...did he have alcohol today? He usually doesn't order it outside of Konoha...
Naruto shakes his head, stumbling a little into the wall. But Natsu's laughing, and the fuzz is pleasant, so- they must have just ordered some drinks in celebration, right?
I don't remember talking t'kyuu though... did I-?
"Oi dobe, hurry up."
Naruto groans, flapping a hand at Sasuke as he catches up and slips into their room. "You hurry up!" he grouses, collapsing onto Natsu with a laugh. "Man, what kind of alcohol do they serve here, cause I think we need to ban it from Konoha or the old bat'll do something stupid." He laughs again, rolling a little more into Natsu as his teammate leans back, clearly swaying.
"Did we order any? I thought we just got water and your shitty tea, Sasuke."
"There's nothing wrong with tea-"
"There's everything wrong with tea, starting with the fact that you drink it."
Sasuke laughs at that, and Naruto squints suspiciously because- that's not right, is it? Sasuke doesn't laugh when he's arguing about his food. But then he's flopping down, joining their pile on the floor, and all the thoughts flee Naruto's head as he wiggles over to flop across both his teammates.
Right. That's... better.
Not quite there yet though...
It's too hot.
Sakura groans, trying unsuccessfully to shimmy out of her qipao only- something's not quite right-
Groaning again she rolls away from the biggest source of heat, only to be stopped by a whine of protest.
"Noooooo, I'm too hot." she mutters back, trying to roll further away even as the heat rolls back on top of her.
Naruto's heavy weight settles across her back. "You can't leave, we're- uh- what're we doing?"
"Team bonding." Sasuke offers, staring forlornly at the empty space between them and-
Sakura's too hot and something is definitely not right but. But Sasuke-kun looks so sad-
"Fiiiiiiiiiiine." she grumbles, ignoring Naruto's cheer as she rolls back the way she came, dislodging him and then rolling over him to get back to her other teammate. "Too hot though."
Sasuke laughs like that's the funniest joke he's heard all year, and something about this isn't quite right, but she's laughing in her head alongside him so maybe this is just a dream? Because she's laughing in her head and NOT laughing with her mouth and something's weird so she's probably dreaming which means-
Shimmying some more, Sakura finally gets most of her clothes off, immediately sighing in relief at the cool air on her skin.
"Much better." she grumbles, flopping a hand at her teammates as Naruto insistently shoves himself in the middle again.
"So- what were we doing again?" Everything feels fuzzy and half-real, memories forming and crumbling in moments, and Sakura thinks she hears someone laugh about drugs but drugs aren't a laughing matter, even in dreams!
She tries to say as much, only for Naruto to roll on top of her again and-
It's too hot. But it's also kind of nice...
Right. Only one way to fix that.
She slaps at him a time or two, protesting. "I'm on top!"
Sasuke snarks something as Sakura bullies Naruto into letting her roll on top of him instead, and she ignores him.
Right up until she gets situated, only to have him flop on top of her.
"Noooooooo it's too hot!" she tries to protest, even as Naruto giggles something about summer sandwiches and Sasuke grabs strands of her hair to glare at them.
"Not on fire..." he grumbles, confusion audible in his voice.
Sakura drops her face into Naruto's shoulder.
...when did he lose his shirt?
No. No, she's too hot to deal with this. Maybe if she just... takes a nap? It'll get better. So she wiggles around, nearly dislodging Sasuke, until she gets somewhat comfortable.
"Ser-" she cuts off with a yawn, then continues, "-iously, you're like a furnace. Don't even need to pay for heating..." she grumbles, and shoves her hand over his face when he tries to give her a weird look over it.
She's not taking complaints, she's going to take a nap and everything will make sense when she wakes up.
But-
"Sasuke-kun... I can't sleep if you're moving around."
He freezes, then drops his own face into HER shoulder with a groan.
"Oh. We've been drugged."
Huh?
Sakura puzzles through that, but-
"Not- not for laughing…" she mutters, but that doesn't quite make sense, she wanted to say something else, right?
Naruto shifts under her, and Sakura grabs his face again. "Can't sleep, stoooooooop."
Naruto's complaints are muffled against her hand, as Sasuke groans into her back.
"Guys. Drugs."
"You're drugs." Sakura snipes, trying to get comfortable again. Naruto starts moaning. "Ugh, no, shut up, I wanna sleep." she tries to cover his mouth again, and Naruto just licks her.
Sasuke sighs, hot breath curling over her shoulder and-
Oh that-
That's nice.
"You guys have fun," he grumbles, rolling off and crashing to the floor. "I- I'm… gotta put up traps… so…"
There's something important there, maybe, but Naruto licks her again and Sakura licks him back because no, she is not losing here-!
Sasuke comes back after a bit, and Sakura bites him.
It's way too hot.
There's a crash, something snapping, and a scream of pain. They blink, dazed, looking around and-
Was that person there before? One of them murmurs, but they don't know.
I finally got to sleep too!
Someone moves- Sasuke? Rolling off their sweaty pile and stumbling to the door, kunai in hand.
Good. He's handling it. SLEEP.
Yeah, sleep sounds… nice. Ugh. They're so sore.
It'll be better in the morning.
Things are not, in fact, better in the morning.
"DID YOU KILL SOMEONE?!"
"HE DRUGGED US!"
"THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN JUST MURDER HIM AND LEAVE THE CORPSE IN THE DOORWAY! TEME!"
"Ugh what happened- owwwwwwww-"