If I wanted to get on something online with my mates back in Britain, I'd have to wake up at 6 in the morning to compensate for time zone differences; for them it'd be 9 in the evening.

Then again, what the fuck was I doing up at 6AM? On a weekend, no less?

Let me tell you who I was dealing with.

Zak, a guy about the same height as me, with dirty blonde hair. Tousled. Loved making crude jokes, but that meant we were always on the inside of inside jokes. He played guitar.

Owen. He was quiet, a bit like Touji, but with long, dark hair. He was tall. Maybe I've outgrown him? He was really good at games, and still kicks my ass whenever I get on. He played piano.

Isaac. He was proud of his long blonde hair - and coming in fully buzzed just to shock us was his idea of a prank. He's also the best damn drummer I've ever seen, better than Touji. He has tinnitus, he's been playing for that long.

And Lizzie. Whilst I went to an all boys school, we'd been friends since primary, and we'd stayed friends. I'd introduced her to the guys, and they got on like a house on fire. We all knew Owen liked her, and it was an easy dig at him for whenever he was being big-headed. Though that wasn't often, that guy maintained his level really well.

I hoped that they were together, at long last.

Anyway, Lizzie sang - and of course, I played bass.

They'd all made me promise I'd come back and we'd play together again, before I left.

And on that morning, they were begging more than ever.

We were playing some RTS game (Owen's favourite) which gave us the perfect time to talk.

'So, Jess, when I am I gonna see that ugly mug of yours again?' asked Zak.

'Not until I see yours on a gravestone,' I answered, smiling. This is what I'd been missing. Speaking English, so casually, so brashly, was refreshing. The only person I spoke English to full time nowadays was my sister - and of course I couldn't speak to her like I did to my mates.

'Zak cries into his pillow every night thinking of you,' Owen quickly backed me up with.

Lizzie replied quickly. 'Are you sure that's why his pillow gets wet, when thinking of Jesse?'.

They all laughed; I only smiled whilst wondering why despite Lizzie being my oldest friend, she still refused to call me Jess.

You could only hear a quiet, but clearly through a chuckle 'what the fuck...' from Isaac. He was purer than the rest of us, being an only child.

And that's how we continued. Despite the hectic atmosphere and insults lovingly being thrown around from to everyone to anyone, I felt relaxed, as if some tension that I'd been holding since I'd arrived in Japan had been released. I personally didn't talk much, I only leant back and savoured the atmosphere. That, and of course, I didn't want to wake anyone up at 6 in the morning on a Saturday. In fact, my dad's snoring from across the landing comforted me - it told me I wasn't being too loud.

…

'Jess? Helloooo? Finish your turn already.' commanded Lizzie. I'd been staring at my monitor and somehow once she spoke, I'd immediately forgotten about what I'd been talking about. And I never remembered.

'Yeah, yeah,' I replied. I didn't feel like playing this game, but if it kept them talking, I was happy.

'So when you coming over?' I felt like she was forcing me to speak.

'When would be good? It's not like my parents would let me travel halfway across the world alone to meet some friends, as old as you all are.' I thought. 'Practically fucking ancient.'

Owen replied. 'So don't come alone. Bring those mates of yours, you know, the ones you don't like talking about. Show us just how good this band is. Of course, you can't, if they're not real, can you?'

Part of what he was saying was true. I didn't like talking about my friends here to them. I didn't know why, maybe I was scared they'd thought that I was moving on? I'm pretty sure they all still thought I disliked it in Japan, and was clinging on to them to keep savouring my old life. Or maybe that was just me being conceited? I don't know.

What I did know, though, that when Owen suggested that I bring my friends over to Britain, I felt something. I'm not sure what it was - it felt like excitement, only different. What would happen if both my friend groups met each other?

What would they think? Would they get along?

'Maybe. It's a lot to organise, though... and it won't be cheap.'

'How about you all come over at Christmas break?' asked Zak.

'When ticket prices skyrocket? Think again,' I said. It came out more bitterly than I intended it to be. I did want to go, after all.

'You moved to Japan 'cause your dad wanted to get your family minted, yeah? So why don't you take advantage of that?' said Owen. I thought it was a bit brash, but it was true. It sounded good.

'I suppose I'll talk to them then. There's a lot to sort, but if you all miss me so much, then why shouldn't I bless you guys with my presence?' I snapped back.

And so we continued playing. Every so often some scenario would pop into my head - maybe me showing my friends around an English café, them laughing at random shit which would be normal there - and I felt more and more that I wanted to bring them over.

The following Monday, we sat down in the Shack and I told them about my plan. They thought I was joking at first, but started to get excited when they saw that I wasn't. So we started planning.

We'd need an adult to come with us, so we decided on my dad - he spoke English better than any adult I knew here in Japan, despite it being with a heavy Slavic accent.

We'd need accommodation, and the thought of us all sharing a hotel room amused us all - so that was sorted quickly.

We'd need a way to get to England, obviously - Jiro's suggestion of swimming was rejected quickly and we decided on plane.

The length of our stay had to be calculated as well. We decided on 5 nights, with one day compensating for the day long flight there we'd have to endure.

And of course, permission. Luckily everyone's parents were fine with it - permission wise, and financially. Me and Jiro were set to go, and Ryo and Touji had apparently agreed to take up part time jobs to pay for their trips - their parents were fine to pay for their trip if they chipped in too. I'd been meaning to find some work myself, and if I was in the UK I wouldn't have given it a second thought, but here? I just didn't know how to go about doing it.

We decided, in the end, to go at Christmas-time, despite the prices - it was the only time that we could ensure that both groups would be off school.

I decided to keep it a surprise for my British friends, and only tell them a week or so before we arrived. I got lucky none of them were planning to go away for Christmas, though.

Slowly but surely, our trip built up and up in terms of planning and organisation, until it was... sorted. Everything was booked, our schedule was down, and our departure drew closer by the day. I told my friends in the UK around a week before, and as I expected, they were ecstatic. They immediately began suggesting places to go and things to do. I only smiled and uttered a 'maybe', trying not to seem as excited as I already was.

It's so strange, isn't it, that when you're packing your bags for a holiday, it's so fun? On paper, it looks menial and boring, but somehow, whilst doing it, you can't help but to enjoy it? It's weird.

Finally, our day of departure arrived. I sat in the café at Nagoya's airport with my dad, waiting. I looked at my phone, swiping back and forth on my home screen - any app I clicked on instantly lost its appeal to my excitement.

My dad was one of those people who liked to be at the airport 5 hours before a flight, 6 for good measure - as if we'd miss our flight or the world would go to shit or something if we didn't.

At long last, I saw them walk through the entrance. They walked over as I flashed them a smile - my dad, being the early bird he is, only gave them a brief good morning and started walking over to security. We scrambled to keep up with him.

We had a good time in the airport - we had a few hours to ourselves, and it was no different to being in a mall. If anything, it was more enjoyable - we got to laugh at how overpriced everything was.

We eventually boarded the plane - I, Ryo and my dad sat together in a row, whilst Jiro and Touji sat together in front of us. It didn't take too long to reach our layover - Hong Kong - where we managed to amuse ourselves the same way we did in Nagoya, before boarding our second flight, exhausted. I suppose that was a good thing though, what with a 15 hour-ish flight ahead of us.

Whilst Ryo had sat next to the window on the way to Hong Kong, I did on our way to the UK, which I was happy about - I had something to lean on, if I wanted to sleep. I fell asleep with headphones in, which turned out to be a surreal experience - I'd wake up in random intervals, sometimes 10 minute intervals, sometimes several hours, but whenever I did, whatever music was playing sounded crisper, more energetic. If I'd listen to a more melancholic song, I'd stare into the untesselated plastic of which the table I was using as a headrest knew - or rather, the people who made it - that I was going to, to put it childishly, have a lot of fun with my friends. They didn't, obviously. They'd go on and so would I. And the world would keep spinning.

It made me appreciate the music a whole more - before I fell asleep again.

I'd find myself thinking, in those short intervals when I was awake, what I'd be like back in Britain - would I still use sarcasm? I'd learnt to cut that out quickly in Japan - most people didn't get it. I wondered how much English I'd forgotten.

We all woke up a few hours before landing, in time for a shitty in-flight meal. We discussed our plans for what we'd do once we'd landed whilst eating the low quality aeroplane food.

The 15 hour flight time had seemed daunting at first, but it passed quickly, and soon enough, we'd landed in Manchester.

My dad had already booked a rental car beforehand, which we loaded ourselves into sluggishly, before enduring the hour drive to Liverpool, the city near to which I'd grown up in, and where we'd be staying for nearly a week.

As soon as we got onto the road, Jiro exclaimed: 'We're driving on the left?! I thought only in Japan we drove on the left!'

Of course he'd had the impression that in the UK we drove on the right, with the amount of times he'd been to Europe he'd been on holiday, where everywhere else, they do drive on the right.

Eventually we all packed into the hotel - not before my dad made us promise we'd not trash our room, or take anything from the 'minifridge from hell', as he'd called it - he'd booked himself a seperate room.

Strangely enough, no one had enough energy to eat or fuck about in the room - it seemed a full day of sitting on our arses and doing fuck all had taken its toll.

So we promptly fell asleep, after a shower and declining Jiro's invitations to 'snuggle'.

We woke up early the next day. We had a full day to ourselves, my dad catching up with some old co-workers on that day, and we weren't due to meet my old mates until the afternoon of the following day. We'd surprised ourselves with how

early we'd woken up, so I decided to show them what a real English breakfast was.

Let's just say beans on toast nearly killed them.

With them full and happy, we ventured out into the city. I didn't have a plan, particularly, but the others were happy enough wandering around, enthralled in the simplest shit. They saw it (luckily) as an opportunity to read any and every sign they could, asking me constantly if what they'd interpreted was accurate. They were determined to get by by themselves, talking to shopkeepers so formally whilst buying the unhealthiest shit it made me laugh out loud. Despite the snacks being essentially the same - under different brands, of course - they swore that it tasted better than in Japan. Me personally? I didn't see a difference.

Their self determination to talk to as many people as possible proved to be funny. Ryo spoke the most out of all of them, but they still managed fumble the simplest questions - once Touji answered an offer for a receipt with 'perhaps when we next meet,' like some cheesy movie villain. But how could I talk? My proficiency in Kanji was nothing to brag about, not to mention that my Japanese was littered with mistakes that my friends had - thankfully - learned to cope with.

After a day of wandering around the city centre and watching them waste their money (over which they'd revolted once they'd learnt how little a Japanese Yen really was) on shitty trinkets and snacks which I assumed they'd plaster the hotel room walls with, we checked back into our hotel and flopped onto our beds.

'It's not that different to Japan... if you moved Liverpool,' ('Livapu' as he'd pronounced it, which made me smile), 'to Japan, and changed everything to Japanese, you wouldn't notice anything different,' Ryo had said, after we'd flopped onto our beds for God knows how long, again exhausted after a long day of doing nothing productive.

No one said anything until Touji retorted with a slow 'No shit...' which made us laugh.

We were waiting in our room for my dad for dinner, who called me soon enough.

He said we'd have to go find dinner ourselves - that he'd slipped us some notes under the door (so that's what Jiro had pocketed) and to find somewhere nice to eat. He made it expressly clear that fast food was off the limits, so we had to decide where to eat together.

My mates looked at me eagerly. Of course, it wasn't often they'd heard me speak Bulgarian. I swept a weary eye over them all before staring down Jiro.

'Got any money there, fucker?'

I made sure to say 'fucker' in English.

After Touji learnt that Jiro had pocketed our communal dinner money, he quickly wrestled it off of him and we sat down to decide a place to eat. I let them pick, only interfering to steer them away from anything that would've been deemed 'rubbish' by my dad.

They decided on what seemed like a Japanese-themed restaurant.

'Homesick?' I asked.

Ryo looked me dead in the eyes. 'Haven't we got a week to sample British food? Anyway, we've decided to go there to see just how accurate everything is. We'll be like critiques! Even you... foreigner.'

It wasn't every day Ryo insulted anyone - he was the slowest to break out of the others. I raised my eyebrow at him, before smiling.

'Is that right?'

'Maybe we'll finally get the chance to speak some proper Japanese over here...' uttered Touji.

'You miss it that much? Anyway, are we not speaking proper Japanese right now?' I replied.

He looked up from his phone before looking back down again.

'You heard what I said... fucka,'.

'How flattering,' I answered back.

It took another half an hour to get ready to go. I called and made a reservation whilst the others freshened up - all the while ignoring complicated plans laid out by Jiro about how to deceive my dad and go grab some 'real food', as he called it.

Eventually we got going and caught the train over 1 stop - we each had a day pass, so we might as well had made the most of it.

Outside the restaurant I surveyed it quickly. It stood on a busy central street, not distinguishable by its outsides. The night air smelt of smoke and the cold - other's breath misting up like portable fog. People bustled around me as we looked on the place. They all had somewhere to go, not caring that we'd come from the other side of the world to be here. And we didn't care where they were going, either. It was a weird thought.

I suddenly became aware of my fingers numbing at the tips, so I gestured to the others to go in.

We were seated by our reservation's name - Iliev - and we sat down in a booth, me and Touji facing the others. I was sat against the wall, having discreetly pushed ahead of the others to sit next to a radiator. The whole place was decorated in standard Japanese decorations, my friends frustrated that any Kanji they could find didn't translate to something laughable.

As we scoured the lengthy menus, Ryo broke the silence. 'Remember, we have limited money. Eighty pounds leaves each of us with 20.'

Touji quickly added to Ryo's orders. 'And the rest can be a tip.'

I saw the smiles, constructed from the anticipation that they'd speak to someone Japanese, fade swiftly from their faces once a cheery blonde girl came to take our order.

Was she payed enough to smile or was she just like that?

We - I - gave our orders and she walked off. I was secretly relieved from Ryo's earlier comment - we'd all managed to order our fill and remain comfortably within budget.

Our food arrived quicker than I expected, and whilst I dug in, sacrificing my tongue in favour of my hunger, they pompously commented on their food's texture and ingredients and colour and whatnot, cherry-picking like I'd never seen before. Jiro went as far as to lean over and quickly twist a few of my ramen strands onto his chopsticks, whilst I sat gaping at him - with a fork in one hand, and a clenched fist ready to throttle him in the other. He had the audacity to call it mediocre.

Of course it didn't take long for each of them to start wolfing down their food, and before long, we sat at our booth with full stomachs and empty plates - satisfied, despite their unprovoked criticism.

I decided that was the best time to brief them for tomorrow.

'We'll be meeting my mates after lunch, around 2. My dad'll either be out with colleagues or hungover, but either way, he's not a problem. We'll grab something fast to eat tomorrow and we're to meet them in the city centre. Apparently they've found something for us to do in the evening. Sound good?'

'So what are these friends of yours like? Speak any Japanese?' asked Ryo, innocently enough.

I couldn't figure out if he was joking or not. After staring at him for a few seconds, I told them who they'd be dealing with.

'Nah, they'll be all relying on your 'amazing' English skills instead. Well... there's Owen. He's pretty sarcastic, even more than you make me out to be, so... pretend to get it, I guess?'

'We're not retarded, you know. It's not like sarcasm is a foreign concept to us... genius,' retorted Touji, adding some irony of his own.

'Then there's Zak. He plays guitar and he's fucking funny. Maybe he can give you two shitters some pointers?' I said, spreading my index and middle fingers of my left hand - my dominant - to point at our two guitarists. They narrowed their eyes at me through suppressed grins.

Touji exhaled loudly, a sure-fire sign that he was amused. I rolled on.

'Isaac's a fucking good drummer... sorry to say this Touji, but he's the best I've ever seen. In person he's just... funny, again - and he's pretty good looking - so try not to fall for him, yeah?' I swept an eye over them all to see them all chuckling.

'And last but not least... Lizzie. She's been my friend since primary, and she's a fucking good singer,' I declared, watching with interest as my friends' smiles subsided. We went to a mixed school with girls, but they all remained awkward talking to them. Ryo and Jiro, at least. Touji always remained his indifferent self.

Tomorrow would be a good opportunity to push 'em into a nicely uncomfortable situation.

I think they saw my smile whilst I plotted, because Jiro broke the silence in an uncomfortable tone.

'So... we have about twenty pounds left between us after we've payed... what are we going to do with it?'

Ryo replied. 'Well, we'll leave a tip, maybe round up the total for it to leave us with a little over... ten? And we can... ' he trailed off.

I answered. 'We can go get some snacks for back at the hotel... don't trash the place, though...' I looked at Jiro and smiled. '... pig.'

So in light spirits, we payed our bill, thanked and tipped our light-haired waitress and left. It didn't take long to find some generic supermarket, where Jiro and Ryo started filling up baskets with junk, disregarding our scanty budget that I was unknowingly warming in my pocket.

I walked over to a freezer, took a Pepsi out and placed it in Jiro's already laden basket. He froze and slowly turned to me, as if awoken from hysteria.

'What the fuck do you think you're doing? You're disturbing the process.'

'Put that shit back, fuckwit,' I retorted quietly.

'... what?'

'You heard me, didn't you? Or are you as deaf as you are greedy? Don't forget in who's pocket the money is here. Buy within your own budget, and ask others if you wanna dig into theirs. But otherwise, empty that basket to the bottom... now.'

'... is that right? Or what?'

I looked at him incredulously, dead in the eyes and that dumb smug grin of his. The nerve of this fucking swine.

I grabbed my drink back from his basket, gestured for Touji to follow me and I payed for mine and Touji's drink, of a brand of which I'd never heard before - he'd grabbed it whilst I showed down with Jiro. Speaking of whom, was glaring at us from the aisle, both hands occupying a crate of gluttony.

We stepped outside and coolly sipped our drinks. Jiro stared at us before looking down and putting back everything defeatedly, with Ryo following suit shortly after realising what'd happened - although, his basket wasn't nearly as full as his fellow guitarist's was.

Me and Touji looked at each other before bursting into laughter, having to support each other in the middle of the street as we both clutched out guts, bent over in hysterics. People stared, but they weren't laughing, so I'll take that as a win. Laughter is the best feeling, after all.

Jiro came back outside with Ryo following closely behind.

'You uhh... gonna need the rest of that money? I'll get some shit for you guys, too,' he practically begged.

I handed what was left through stifled giggles.

They eventually finished their shopping ordeal and we all decided to walk back to the hotel - better to get some fresh air and walk all that food out of our system, especially if we'd be gorging ourselves on Jiro's supply later.

We got back to the hotel eventually and after a few exhausting hours of laughter and talking, we fell asleep, one by one - with smiles on our faces and stomachs full of food.

...

Waking up the next morning to find out that we'd overslept wasn't pleasant. I woke up to find the others still out cold, only to check my phone and see that it was 1 o'clock. I hurriedly ran around waking the others up and getting ready, taking the quickest shower of my life - not before I'd shouted at the others to do the same.

We got out at about quarter to two, and we rushed to the train station to get to the city centre, where we'd be meeting the others. On the train, I'd texted Owen, telling him that we'd skipped lunch, but we'd be there on time. Jiro calmed down when Owen had replied and said that they'd sat down at a fast food place anyway, so we should meet them there and grab something to eat. We got off the train soon enough and the restaurant that the others were at wasn't far, and we were stood in front of it soon enough. That's when I caught the first glimpse at my old friends.

They were laughing at something. Zak was slamming the table as he did, which brought me back. I could easily envision those days - without Lizzie, of course - when we'd sit in the canteen at lunch, making shitty jokes and laughing as if our lives depended on it. I could practically see myself sitting next to them, joining in with their hysteria as I did. They hadn't seen us yet though... not yet.

I realised I was nervous. How easy would it be to turn around right now, go back to the hotel, pretend to be consumed by some mystery illness? Everyone'd understand, of course.

I felt a hundred thoughts at what felt like a hundredth of a minute as I stood there staring at my old mates enjoying themselves through the window. Memories and plans rushed through my mind, mixed in a wave of melancholia and mundaneness. What would have happened if my dad didn't lose that job? I'd still be friends with Lizzie and the others - not that I wasn't then - and the lives of Jiro and Ryo and Touji would go on, and I'd be someone they'd never meet nor think about.

I wouldn't exist.

...

What the fuck am I thinking?

My friends were in there; why wasn't I excited? I knew in the back of my mind that tonight'd be fun, that I'd go to bed smiling.

I stood staring, perhaps not through, but at the window, thinking about everything until everything became nothing, or something which I couldn't - or didn't want to - comprehend.

That was until I felt the back of my legs buckle, my knees giving into Jiro's, which had pushed into their backs, causing me to stumble - but thankfully snap out of whatever fucked up existential phase I'd just gone through.

We walked into the restaurant confidently - or that was a damn good act the others were putting on - and headed towards their table.

Little did I know, that however much fun I'd have, however much I'd cry laughing, that cynical, entropically mundane version of myself would set itself - or himself up in my mind to haunt me whenever the fuck it - or he pleased.

I walked on.

/

Holy shit. I didn't expect my first chapter to get so much attention - over 40 clicks?! That's fucking wild. This chapter wasn't meant to be a two parter, but at the rate I was going, it was becoming pretty obvious that I'd have to make it so.

Well, thank you all for reading and I'll catch you next time!