Author's Note: Brace yourself children! This is a TWO drink minimum chapter, so buckle up! Thank you for ALL of your amazing comments, you inspire me. I love it. I LIVE for it! You make writing so much fun! Hope you enjoy!
Marie woke-up feeling quite refreshed, the early night having been far more necessary than she cared to admit. She actually smiled to herself before climbing out of bed, her mind in a far better place this morning than it had been all day yesterday.
She glanced over at her clock and realized she was actually up a little early, so she took her time stretching as she made her way toward the washroom. After splashing some water on her face and brushing her teeth, she couldn't help but take a quick peek at her bum in the mirror. It still felt slightly tender, but it wasn't nearly as marked up as she thought it would be. There were only a few little broken capillaries (the pattern of which made her fairly certain they were from his finger tips), but there weren't any real bruises and she was sure the tiny little purple dots on her skin would fade in another day. She didn't know why she was so fascinated by it— or even slightly disappointed if she were being honest with herself—but some darker part of her liked the idea of being marked by him. What are you talking about, Marie! Remember how much that shit hurt...do you really think you could handle anything harsher? Don't even think about it!
Attempting to get her head in the right place, she changed quickly and made a decision to start the week off on the right foot. Whatever Lord Kent had going on, it was clearly stressing him, and as much as she enjoyed a bit of banter and sexual tension, she didn't want to push him away by being another cause of stress in his life. She was pretty sure he enjoyed a certain amount of cheekiness and he definitely reveled in an occasional reason to punish her, but she'd gone too far yesterday and he'd made it fairly obvious he was fed up with her by the time she was in his study last evening.
That whole situation had actually affected her quite a lot— whereas she normally looked forward to every minute with him, the interaction had left her wholly unsatisfied and his obvious detachment had made for a stark realization on her part. It wasn't even that he had been cold, per se, but that for the first time she really felt like she was a drain on him, that he wasn't enjoying his time with her and he was forcing himself to deal with her out of obligation, not choice. It felt far more punishing than anything else he'd put her through and she was determined not to feel that way again. If his intention had been to deliver a message, it had been received.
After putting on her clothes and spelling her hair up quickly, she bounded down the stairs with a new determination, her mind fresh as she prepared for a nice walk to get the day going. But her face fell as soon as she reached the back door—the slight drizzle she'd noticed from her window had turned into a full-on deluge, and she could tell the wind was really whipping when she heard the sound of horizontal rain slamming forcefully into the glass.
"Damn," she whispered to herself. A little rain she could handle, but she'd be soaked and chilled to the bone if she went out in this.
"Perhaps an indoor activity would be a better idea this morning."
Marie hadn't seen or heard the man approach, but he was now standing behind her, his arms clasped behind him, his posture immaculate and his face perfectly still. Damn he looks good this morning. She couldn't help but notice that he also looked more refreshed, his eyes brighter and more alive.
"Yeah, that's too bad. I was actually really looking forward to my walk this morning."
"How disappointing."
"Maybe a bit of yoga will be nice. It's been a while since I've done it, but I always manage to feel better afterward. Hopefully my aging joints can take it." Marie gave him a twinkling smile.
Snape returned her with an unimpressed look. "I hardly consider your twenty year-old joints to be aging, Ms. Cloutier."
"I'm nearly 30, thank you very much. That's practically ancient for an unmarried witch. At least if you ask most people." It was true, most of her friends had gotten married straight out of school, and despite her beauty, she was a bit of free spirit and people often wondered if she'd ever settle down or if she'd just spend her life as a spinster. Not that she really cared, she'd rather be alone than settle, even though she very much dreamt of having a family.
"Don't be absurd. The very idea is patriarchal tosh."
"I agree. Anyway, hopefully I'll manage. If not, Tinny can always levitate me to the breakfast table."
"If you need a space, there's an empty room in the East wing you may use. I'd be more than happy to make some alterations to it, so that it might better suit your needs."
"Really? That would be fantastic, actually." She'd debated whether she really had enough space in her room or if she'd maybe have better luck in the library, although neither was really ideal. And there was something kind of sweet about him making space for her.
"Follow me."
Snape turned and headed back up the stairs, Marie close behind him. In all the time she'd been there, she'd never been beyond his study, which was the very first door at the beginning of the corridor.
There was something almost forbidden about walking this far into the East wing, like she was entering Lord Kent's personal domain. She'd been curious about what was down this hallway, knowing of course that he had his bedroom somewhere at the end of it, but she'd never dared to venture an inch past his study—it gave her a small thrill.
They walked past several other closed doors before Snape put his hand on a door-handle to his right. "Hopefully, this will do."
When he opened it, Marie was struck with awe as she looked out several large picture windows onto the back garden. It wasn't quite as magnificent as the view from his study, but it was close. And the room was filled with beautiful plants and even a small fountain. It was like a peaceful, bright oasis in an otherwise rather dark house.
Snape went to work immediately banishing a few random items before throwing out some impressive cleaning spells and then filling the room with some pillows and cushions. It was spacious, airy and bright.
"Feel free to make any changes you see fit. This room is for you. If there's any specific you need, I will arrange it, just let me know."
"It's perfect. Really. Thank you so much." Marie didn't know why she was so touched by the gesture, but she was. It felt like a gift—but more than that, it was like he was letting her in, inviting her to take a glimpse into one of his private spaces. But rather than give her any insight into the man, it only served to confuse her more. One minute he's shutting her out, the next he surprises her with something like this. She didn't want to read too much into it, maybe it was just an extra room, but she felt like it had to be more. Who is this man!
As she walked around, it became clear that he'd spent a lot of time in this room, the plants were well-cared for and carefully curated, like he had designed it as his own little meditative space. Even without him saying so, she knew that this room was special to him, his energy and magic were everywhere, but it was...different somehow. She couldn't quite put her finger on it.
"Very well, I'll leave you."
"Thank you, Lord Kent. Really."
He gave a nod of acknowledgement and then backed out of the door without another word, closing it softly behind him.
Marie transfigured one of the cushions into a yoga mat and set to work. It had been close to two years since she'd done any yoga with regularity, so she was a bit out of practice, but she moved carefully through several poses, just allowing her body to stretch slowly as she focused on her breath. By the time she finished, she was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, brimming with energy and enjoying an endorphin rush that she'd forgotten was an added bonus.
Even before she opened the door to wake Soren, she could hear him giggling from the hall. She entered his room to find him chasing around a small toy dragon that was hovering in the air just above him.
"Look, Ms. Cloutier! Isn't he so cute!"
It took a minute for Marie to get her bearings. "Where did you get that?" Her first thought was pure panic, she knew right away that Lord Kent would not approve and she just hoped Soren hadn't done anything that was going to get him into trouble.
"Mr. Potter bought it for me. At first, father took it, but then I found it laying on my table this morning! It's really neat- you can teach him tricks and everything. And he even breathes smoke."
Just then the little dragon landed on Soren's head, puffing out his chest and attempting to growl as a small plume of smoke came out of his mouth. If he was trying to look intimidating, it was hard to do with an almost cartoonish face and being only 4 inches tall.
Marie let out a small chuckle. "He's adorable. Did you name him?"
"Maybe I'll call him Oliver. Or Ollie. Do you like that?" Soren reached up and grabbed the little dragon off of his head and gave him a snuggle.
"I love it, it suits him perfectly." She took Soren by the hand so she could comb his hair quickly. "Come on, let's get you ready for breakfast. But you should probably keep Ollie here. I'm not sure how your father would feel about having a baby dragon at the breakfast table."
"Awww, but Ollie will be lonely! What if I just keep him in my pocket?"
"I think Ollie will be a lot more comfortable here in your room. But you can see him when you come back and brush your teeth."
"Alright." Soren carried the little dragon back to the egg on his table. "OK, Ollie, just take a short rest. I'll come and see you after breakfast, OK?"
The dragon gave a small snort of frustration but then curled back in his egg.
Everyone was in a much better mood at breakfast and Soren could barely contain his excitement over his toy dragon.
Not wanting to look like he was becoming indulgent, Snape stared the boy down. "I'm permitting you to keep this toy, but I do not want you becoming distracted by it. If at any point you are playing instead of doing whatever it is you're supposed to be doing— whether that's schoolwork, reading, or sleeping— I will confiscate it immediately. Do you understand?"
"Yes, father." Soren nodded his head enthusiastically.
"And it goes without saying that you will never have him in the classroom. I mean it, Soren."
"I won't father, I promise!" Soren bounced happily in his chair. "I named him Ollie, by the way. And I'm going to teach him lots of tricks!"
"As long as you do so in your spare time. And in your room. I don't want to see the blasted thing flying all over the manor."
"Aww, but he's so cute, father. Even Ms. Cloutier says so." Soren was beaming as he dug into his omelet, happily swinging his feet under the table.
"It's true, he's pretty adorable."
Snape had to work hard not to roll his eyes. "You're delusional. The pair of you."
The rest of the week passed quickly, with everyone doing their best to keep themselves busy and out of trouble.
Snape spent every possible second in the lab and he even though he was exhausted, he was starting to believe that he was nearing a breakthrough, but he didn't have a moment to waste. He was obsessed—his mind so totally consumed that it was all he thought about, every waking moment and sometimes even while he slept. Although his face showed no sign of it, behind his eyes his mind was ciphering constantly, in the same way a chess grandmaster might play a dozen games in their head at once. His brain was firing on all cylinders, his mind was like a control room with 20 screens, each one flashing with images of formulas, combinations of rare ingredients, long-forgotten and rarely used magical theories. For every potion he brewed in the lab, he'd brewed a hundred other versions in his head.
So consumed was he in finding a solution, that he had almost no memory of where the time had gone that week. Harry had come by briefly one afternoon to check in with him, and to let him know that there wasn't much time—that whatever lies he'd told the Ministry would only hold them off until sometime next week. He'd also managed snaffle another vial of the paternity potion, which Snape was incredibly grateful for, even though he snarled his way through their brief meeting, letting Harry know with no uncertainty that he didn't need to be checked up on or reminded about just how little time he had left. "I'm quite aware of the circumstances, Potter. And you coming here to waste my time and distract me isn't exactly helping."
But thankfully Harry knew him well enough to know that Snape being surly was a sign of his affection, at least that's how he chose to perceive it. The man had even managed to mumble a barely audible "Thanks" when he'd put the bottle of paternity potion on his bench, only to follow it up with a raised eyebrow and a particularly snarky "Is there a reason you're still here, Potter? Or are you so unfamiliar with hard work that you can't even recognize when someone else is trying to get things done."
As for Marie, she was slowly coming unraveled as Lord Kent became more distant. Her mind was swirling with self-doubt, and try as she might not to overthink things, her insecurity grew with each passing day, her inner voice planting negative seeds every time he refused to look at her, or he slid into the dining room at the last minute without acknowledging or greeting her. And even though it was obvious he was consumed by whatever it was he was working on, it was hard not to feel like it was somehow about her. Even their nightly meetings— which she had always looked forward to—had been so brief at times she hadn't even had a chance to sit down before he dismissed her. One night he'd even cancelled it all together because he'd been "too busy." She tried not to take it personally, but every day that this continued, she became more and more convinced that he wanted nothing to do with her and just didn't know how to say so.
Marie had actually been quite optimistic at the start of the week, believing that he'd given her that room as a gesture of fondness and care— but now she'd completely convinced herself it was some kind of consolation. He only gave me the room so I'd have somewhere to go away from him. So he doesn't have to see me, hoping maybe I won't bother him as much. He probably thinks I'm beyond anything he can fix, and I'm too much trouble, and I never learn, so he doesn't have the time or energy to deal with me anymore. He's only keeping me here for Soren's sake, but he really wishes I was gone, he just doesn't want to feel like a dick for firing me.
And she wasn't the only one who was worried about it—Soren couldn't help but notice that there were no more casual moments chatting in the parlor before or after meals. Even if he didn't always understand what was going on, he'd loved watching Ms. Cloutier and his father exchanging witty banter and knowing glances, everyone just enjoying their time together, it was easily his favorite part of the day. But now his father barely looked at her, and if she tried to start a conversation, he only responded when necessary and with as few words as possible. What worried Soren even more was that Marie was smiling less and less each day, and starting to go quiet during meals—it made him wonder if he maybe he'd done something wrong, that maybe it was his fault somehow that everyone was miserable, even though he was trying so hard to be a good boy. It had made him so sad that he'd cried about it in his bed last night, questioning why he didn't do more to bring them together and blaming himself for every stupid time he'd misbehaved and caused them to argue.
So even though the week had gone seemingly without incident, by the time the weekend rolled around, everyone's emotions were simmering furiously beneath the surface—and it was only a matter of time before something erupted.
"Father, will you come outside and walk with Ms. Cloutier and me in the gardens after breakfast?" Soren looked up at his father with hopeful eyes.
"No. I have a potion on the flames right now and it needs to be attended to straight away."
"Come on, please father, please? Just for a few minutes!" Soren was whining but he didn't care, he'd been waiting all week for a few minutes that they could all be together.
Snape put his teacup down with a clink . "Do not whine. We've discussed this, I'm in the middle of something very important and I don't have time for playing about in the garden today."
"That's not fair. You've been working all week. You said maybe we could go for a walk this weekend."
"I said maybe on Sunday. If I'm at a stage in my brewing where I can. Now fix your face and quit whining, I don't want to hear another word about it." Snape let out a hefty sigh and reached once more for his cup of tea.
"But I want us to go all together— I want to go with you and Ms. Cloutierrrrr."
With a sharp click of his fingers, Snape pointed at Soren. "Enough. Sit up properly, get your elbows off the table, and don't let me hear another word in that infuriating tone."
Snape's words were curt, but he was working hard not to lose his temper, even though there was almost nothing he hated more than whining children.
"Are you sure you can't spend just a few minutes, Lord Kent. Maybe a bit of fresh air would be nice and I know it would mean a lot to Soren." Marie attempted to keep her voice light, but her face gave her away— anyone who saw her would know she wholly disapproved of his response. Can't the man see how much his son wants to spend time with him! As if ten minutes is such a big deal.
"Ms. Cloutier, I have made it clear to both of you that right now I am fully-entrenched in some difficult work and I do not have time for frivolous activities."
"It's not frivolous to spend time with your son," Marie snapped, a bit surprised by her own words.
"See, father. Even Ms. Cloutier says you should." Soren jumped on the bandwagon and crossed his arms, scowling impressively for a boy his size.
Snape had had enough and he focused his eyes on his son, lowering his voice as he spoke slowly. "Go stand in that corner right now. I will have no more of your cheek."
"Fine." Soren shoved back his chair with an air of callousness, but before he could storm to the corner, his father grabbed him tightly by the arm.
"Unless you want a smacked bottom to go along with you, you will get control of yourself right now," Snape growled in a low, dangerous tone. "There will be no more tantrums or whining this morning. Is that clear?"
Soren's face burned red and he nodded, softening his voice. "Yes, father."
"Good." He gave the boy one more pointed look and then nodded in the direction of the corner before he let him go.
Once Soren was settled, Marie leaned forward. "I don't know why you can't just make ten minutes for him, it would go a long way," she said as she shoveled some eggs into her mouth.
"And I don't know why you can't keep yourself from talking back to me in front of him. Honestly, Ms. Cloutier, you're worse than he is. Is it really that difficult to keep your mouth closed when it doesn't concern you?" Snape said, allowing himself to express his full irritation now that Soren was away from the table.
"Suit yourself. But one day you're going to wish he would spend time with you and you'll be the one begging him while he's too busy, lamenting the way you brushed him aside while you wither away alone in your manor. And I hope you remember this."
Anger flashed in Snape's eyes. "That's enough, Ms. Cloutier. You and I will finish this discussion later."
"Will we? Because I thought you didn't have enough time, you're so busy."
Snape scoffed but made an effort to sound calm as he buttered a piece of toast slowly, his eyes focused on the task. "Oh, believe me, I will make time. I've had enough of your cheek as well."
Even though they were attempting to keep things civil and ensure their voices were low, Soren could hear everything from the corner. And he hated every second of it. All he'd wanted was just for them to spend a few minutes all together, but instead they were arguing again, all because of him. It's always your fault when they fight- you should just keep your dumb mouth closed. A few tears rolled down his face and he sniffled lightly, feeling far more lonely than he would ever admit.
When his five minutes were up, Snape called Soren out of the corner. "Time's up. Come and finish your breakfast."
Soren slid back into his chair. "Sorry, father."
"Let's all just move on, and try to finish on a more pleasant note." Snape shot a particularly pointed glare to Marie who ignored him and took a sip of her tea. Infuriating woman.
The rest of the day went by fairly smoothly- Soren played outside for a while with Marie and then they browsed through the library and he spent some time trying to teach Ollie some new tricks.
Dinner was a quiet affair, and while there were no more arguments, Snape was determined to have a stern discussion with Marie tonight during their nightly meeting, a meeting that he had been forced to move to 10pm so he could finish some critical steps in his brewing.
By the time 10pm rolled around, Snape was rushing to get to his study. He had barely completed the last few steps in his latest creation before he'd leave the potion to sit and simmer for the next 10 hours. Unfortunately, Marie was already waiting outside of his door when he arrived.
Snape said nothing as he glanced down at his watch—he was barely 30 seconds late and he refused to apologize for it.
When they walked in, Snape nodded at Marie to take a seat in one of her usual chairs while he slid in behind his desk. "I've finally had a chance to read your essay and I have some thoughts." He'd nearly forgotten about it, truthfully, but he'd found it in his desk earlier in the day when he was riffling around for an article he'd read recently. With a few minutes to spare before he had to stir his potion again, he'd given it a quick read.
Marie blushed slightly. "Oh, it's fine, we don't have to talk about it. I know it's like, a silly little privileged girl complaining about nothing."
"No, it's not silly. Not at all." He pulled her parchment out of a drawer and placed it in front of him on the desk. "I was touched by your honesty. And no, what you described here was a girl whose most basic emotional needs were not met. I'm sorry for that, you deserved better." Although he hadn't really had the mental bandwidth at the moment, he'd ended up thinking a lot about it during the day, and it had shifted something in him. Suddenly so many things made more sense to him about her, and it softened him slightly.
"It's not like they beat and starved me or anything."
Snape raised an eyebrow. "No, but emotional neglect can be just as painful. And just as capable of causing damage... Just because the wounds it leaves aren't as visible, doesn't make them any less real, Ms. Cloutier."
"My parents tried their best, really. I just don't think they understood what I needed. And honestly, I don't think either of them had particularly great parents to teach them."
"Well their best wasn't good enough. As a parent one has to do more than just 'try'—even the pain of one small episode of neglect can be carried through a lifetime. It is kind of you to forgive them, but do not excuse them. And certainly don't convince yourself you don't deserve to feel angry and hurt by the way they treated you."
Tears filled Marie's eyes and she nodded. "Thank you." She worked for a moment to breathe and control herself, but bringing up her essay had disarmed her, and she knew this was her moment to turn things around. "I'd actually like to talk about that a bit more."
"Go on." Snape sat back in his chair, tenting his fingers and giving her his full attention.
Come on, Marie. Say it. "I know you get frustrated with me for speaking out, but I feel like what you don't realize is that maybe you're not meeting Soren's emotional needs. Maybe he's feeling emotionally neglected and I don't want him carrying those wounds around for the rest of his life. He's been through so much already."
This was not at all what Snape had expected to hear and his face hardened immediately. "Ms. Cloutier, we're talking about you right now, not Soren. And I get frustrated with you because you interject and interfere when you should not, no matter how many times I've asked you not to or requested you wait until we're in a more proper setting. That is why I get frustrated with you."
"But can't you see that he needs more from you? I can. I see him hurting, begging for time with you. And you just dismiss him. Tell him you're too busy. Do you have any idea what that feels like for him? All he wants is time with his father."
"I have told you, right now I am in an impossible situation, I have a looming deadline and extraordinary pressure to complete some work that I do not have much of a choice in doing. I am not neglecting my son!" Snape's voice rose up slightly as he swelled with emotion. "Everything I am doing, I am doing for him."
"Well, you're not meeting his needs! It's like the only time you give him any time or attention is when you're scolding or punishing him. Do you really think that's providing for his emotional needs? He's a little boy, one who has just lost his mother, and he is desperate to feel loved and cared for!"
Snape let his hand slam down on the desk. "I am doing the best I can right now! You have no idea what you're talking about."
"Do you even hear yourself? Didn't you just tell me that trying isn't enough!" Marie's eyes were burning with fury as she stared into him, ready for a fight.
Suddenly Snape paused and broke eye contact, putting a hand up to silence her as he stood quietly, the rest of his body going still as he reached for his wand.
Try as he might, Soren couldn't sleep. His mind was furiously spinning with all kinds of thoughts and feelings—he'd been tossing and turning for hours working himself into quite a state. All he could think about was how he'd never have a real family, that he would always feel lonely and unloved, that he was a burden that no one really wanted. He also missed his mum a lot. But most of all, he was feeling disappointed that despite his best efforts, he couldn't seem to bring his father and Ms. Cloutier together. All they seemed to do now was argue, mostly because of him.
When he couldn't take it any more, Soren opened his door and snuck across the hall, knocking softly on Ms. Cloutier's door. When she didn't answer, he knocked again, before he finally cracked it open and peered in. "Ms. Cloutier?"
As he crept toward her bed, it didn't take long for him to realize that she wasn't there. He panicked for a moment, but then thought she must be downstairs in the parlor reading, or maybe in the library. He had no idea what time it was, but he realized that she was an adult and unlike him, she didn't have a bedtime.
Slowly he made his way down the corridor and just when he was about to turn to go down the stairs, he heard raised voices coming from his father's study. Oh no! He tiptoed as quickly as he could toward the door and there was no mistaking it, it was his father and Ms. Cloutier, and it sounded like they were fighting once again.
He couldn't hear what they were saying—the voices were too muffled—but he strained near the door, leaning down to put his ear next to it. Was Ms. Cloutier in trouble? What was she doing in his father's study?
Just as he put his hand on the wood to brace himself, the voices went quiet. Before he even knew what hit him, the door burst open and Soren fell face-first onto the floor, sprawled out on the ancient carpet.
It didn't take Snape more than a few quick strides to grab the boy by both arms and yank him to his feet. "What on earth do you think you're doing listening at my door?" He bent down and held him tightly by the shoulders, glaring into his eyes.
A look of horror flashed across Soren's face as he attempted to formulate an excuse, but his mind went blank. He looked up at Ms. Cloutier who looked equally shocked and frozen in place.
"I was looking for Ms. Cloutier...and then I heard your voices and I was worried she was in trouble."
"The only person in trouble right now is you. It is well-past your bedtime, not to mention you do not ever, ever sneak around and eavesdrop outside of my door. How dare you!" Snape stood to his full height and grabbed Soren by the wrist. "Let's go, I'm putting you back to bed."
"I'm sorry," Soren said, as he started to cry, pulling back against his father's grip.
"Wait, let me take him." Marie stood, knowing she was overstepping, but not wanting to see Soren get in trouble— she had absolutely no doubt about what would happen to him once they got back to his room and she was going to do her best to prevent it. "I'm sure Soren's just exhausted, perhaps it's better if you talk with him in the morning."
Snape stopped in his tracks and pinched the bridge of his nose as he turned around slowly to face her. "Is there nothing I can say to get through to you? How. Many. Times? Is it really that difficult? You're absolutely insufferable. Do not interfere, Ms. Cloutier. If I have to say it one more time, I assure you, it will be the last time."
"Can't you see he's scared? You didn't even ask him why he was looking for me! Maybe he had a nightmare or he isn't feeling well! Why is it so damn hard just to talk to him first before you go dragging him off to punish him!"
"Soren, go to your room and get in bed." Snape let go of Soren and clicked his fingers toward the door before turning his attention to Marie. "You and I will finish this conversation when I'm done with him."
"No! Stop it!" Soren shouted at the top of his lungs. "Stop fighting, please! I'm sorry!"
The boy broke down in real tears, crouching on the floor with his hands over his ears, wailing loudly into the room. For a moment everything was still, and then Marie rushed to his side to pick him up and hold him against her. "Oh, Soren, I'm so sorry. Everything is OK, please don't be upset."
Snape stood in stunned silence, unsure of where to go from here. His son was clearly distraught, not because he'd been caught out of bed, but because he couldn't stand hearing them argue. And he felt horrible. He blamed Marie, mostly, but he'd been complicit as well, raising his voice and engaging with her.
"Come on, darling, let me put you back to bed." Marie shot the man a withering glare before carrying the sobbing boy back to his room.
Once she'd settled him back in bed, she sat down next to him, putting her arm around him and cuddling him gently. "What's wrong, Soren. Can you tell me what's got you so upset."
Soren just shook his head and continued to cry into his rabbit. There was no way he could tell her.
"Did something happen, why did you come looking for me?"
After several heaving sobs, Soren finally tried to speak. "Cuz I couldn't sleep and I was missing my mummy."
"Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry." Marie pulled him into her chest and held him.
"But when I went to your room you were gone..."
"Shhh, it's OK."
"I didn't mean to listen, I was just afraid you were in trouble and father was shouting at you and I wanted to make sure you were OK. I don't want him to be mean to you."
A small smile crossed Marie's lips that she was glad he couldn't see. If Soren only had the slightest clue at just how mean his dad could really be with her, and she found it cute that he was so worried about her. "We were just talking, Soren. Like adults do sometimes. And at times they may disagree and that's OK. Besides, do you really think I'd let your father be mean to me? I don't think so." Well, maybe sometimes, but not in the way you think.
"But I just want you to get along. Why can't you just be nice to each other. I just want everyone to be happy—but you're not happy and father's not either, and it's all my fault!" The boy collapsed into a fresh round of sobs.
"What, no!" Marie lifted up his chin. "Soren, look at me. You haven't done anything wrong. Sometimes adults just disagree and that's OK. They may argue or have big feelings, but then they talk through it. It has nothing to do with you, I promise. You haven't done anything to cause this."
"But you're always fighting because of me. Because I get in trouble and do stupid things and then you both shout at each other." Soren was crying even harder now, his tiny body shaking as he wailed loudly and released every tear he had inside of him.
"No, darling. That's not it at all. I'm so sorry that's how you were feeling. Your father and I need to communicate better, but it isn't ever your fault. You are such a good boy, you know that right?"
"No, I'm not, I'm always in trouble," Soren heaved out in between sobs and wiping his face with his sleeve.
"What? You're amazing. You're so smart and kind, and your father and I both love you so much and we are so proud of you."
Soren's breath hitched slightly. "Really?"
"Of course. Come on, let's wipe your face and then we'll lay down and relax. Do you want me to tell you a story?"
"Yes please."
"OK, let me go get a cool cloth." Marie got up and splashed some cool water from the sink on a small washcloth before bringing it back to Soren. "Here, let's clean up your face."
She spent the next minute gently dabbing at Soren's face and neck with the cool cloth until his tears had stopped and there was no longer mucus pouring from his nose. "Alright, lay down now."
"Am I still in trouble? What if father is still mad at me?" A fresh round of tears started and Soren's shoulder's began to shake.
"No, Soren, it's all going to be OK, I promise." Marie was planning to give Lord Kent a piece of her mind as soon as she got the little boy to sleep, but after several more minutes of unmitigated tears, it was clear he wouldn't calm down and she knew she couldn't do this on her own.
"Can you wait here for just a minute? I'll be back, I promise."
Soren held his bunny and continued to cry, but nodded his head.
Marie walked brusquely out of Soren's room toward the study, but when she tried to open the door, she found it was locked. Her own patience now gone, she quickly cast a silencing shield down Soren's side of the hallway and then banged on it with her fist. "Open the door, dammit!"
She was about to blast through it with her wand when it popped open, and she stormed in to find Lord Kent, sitting on the Chesterfield, leaning over with his head in his hands.
"What the actual FUCK! Do you have any idea how distraught your son is right now? He's a complete wreck. He's not going to sleep until you go in there and reassure him that everything is OK, that you aren't mad at him, and that the fact that we were arguing is not at all his fault. He's blaming himself for all of this!"
Snape raised an eyebrow before responding in a calm, cool tone. "I have begged you constantly not to argue with me in front of him. Do not dare put this on me."
"I really don't care if you blame me or not, but right now your son needs you, and I swear to Merlin, if you don't go in there and hug him and tell him everything is fine, I will make it my life mission to destroy you." For once, Marie let her rage go. "You are not going to threaten him, or scold him, or even think about punishing him- you are going to give him a cuddle and be a reassuring father for once in your life. He's traumatized!"
Several seconds ticked by before Snape stood from the Chesterfield, took a deep breath and smoothed down his coat. "Very well. But just know that I am not doing this for you, Ms. Cloutier, but for him. Because despite what you may think of me, I care deeply for my son and his well-being. Far more than you realize or give me credit for."
And with that, Snape held his head high as he glided out of the room toward the West wing.
When he appeared in Soren's doorway, the boy was sobbing on his side, staring at the wall with his eyes wide open but with a detached look that made Snape's blood run cold.
Snape sat on the edge of his bed, adjusting his voice with as much softness as he knew how. "Soren, come here. I'm not angry, I just want to talk to you."
The little boy didn't move or even respond, so Snape put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Soren, it's alright. There's no reason to get worked up."
But Soren just started crying harder, putting his face into his rabbit and sobbing.
Unsure of what to do, Snape got up and walked around to the other side of the bed, reaching down and lifting Soren into his arms before settling back on the mattress, leaning against his headboard with the boy in his lap. "Take a breath, everything is going to be alright."
When the little boy just continued to cry, Snape cradled him against his chest and rocked him slightly while he shushed him. "You're alright. Everything is alright."
It was the most patient Snape had ever been, certainly ever with a child, but some kind of instinct within him kicked in, and he couldn't stand to hear the pain in his child's cries. So he rocked him and held him and waited until the sobs died down into small whimpers.
"That's a good boy. Take deep breaths." Snape repositioned the boy on his chest with his head on his shoulder, running a soothing hand from his head all the way down his back. He did this for what seemed like ages until the tiny body stilled beneath him. When he looked down, Soren's eyes were still open, but his body was limp and heavy.
Soren's breath hitched dramatically as the last remnants of his sobs coursed through him.
"Come now, let's lie down and sleep. It's far too late for little boys to be awake." Snape's voice was gentle and kind, but when he attempted to place Soren down beside him, the boy shouted, "No!" And a new round of tears started as he grasped desperately to crawl back into his father's arms.
While there was certainly a part of Snape that wanted to tell him that he'd been indulged enough, his overwhelming reaction was wanting to comfort Soren, recognizing now just how hurt and vulnerable the little boy was.
So instead, he held him tightly in his arms and reassured him. "Alright, alright. I'm here, I've got you." Snape leaned back onto the bed frame and tried to find a comfortable position, Soren still clasped tightly to his chest. He was realizing he might be there for a while, so he allowed himself to settle in, staring up at the ceiling Marie had so brilliantly charmed for the boy.
Several minutes later, Marie appeared in the doorway, watching as Lord Kent cradled and comforted his son. She hated that this made her heart flutter, and even though she was still angry with the man, she set her pride aside and walked over to sit on the other side of Soren's bed, saying nothing, but lifting her feet up so that she too was propped up against the headboard, running a soothing hand down Soren's face.
Marie could feel the heat radiating off of Lord Kent as their bodies touched, but she allowed herself to relax next to him. First it was their shoulders, then their thighs and hips, and finally as she leaned a bit closer to him, the side of her breast brushed up against his arm. She breathed him in and closed her eyes briefly, feeling an overwhelming urge to put her arms around him. And while he didn't look at her, he didn't move away from her either, and they both just sat there, their bodies smoldering attempting to focus all of their attention on comforting Soren.
It was like that was the magic Soren needed to finally let go and let the tension fully release from his body. No more words were exchanged, just him lying there in his father's strong arms, Ms. Cloutier pressed next to both of them while she stroked his face and hair gently. Heaven.
Soren fought sleep for as long as he could, not wanting to miss a single moment of the most complete feeling he'd ever had, but eventually his eyes started to close and he drifted off, wishing more than anything he could hold onto this moment forever.
The next morning Soren woke up with a start, a sudden feeling of emptiness gripping his body as he realized he was alone in his bed, desperately missing the feeling of his father and Ms. Cloutier surrounding him with warmth and love. He sat up slightly and noticed the sunlight in his room seemed brighter than normal, making him wonder just how late it was.
He didn't bother changing out of his pajamas before sprinting across the hall, but when he opened the door, Ms. Cloutier's room was empty and her bed made. He quickly made his way down to the parlor.
The manor was eerily quiet except for the sound of the old grandfather clock and a few logs popping in the fireplace. Soren couldn't tell time but he peaked in the dining room and saw there were a few remnants of breakfast still on the table but only one place-setting, and not a soul was there.
"Father? Ms. Cloutier?" he shouted anxiously. Where is everyone?
A few seconds later, Tinny popped up. "Ms. Cloutier has gone out for the day. Master Kent is working in the dungeon. Yous is supposed to eat whenever you get up. Whatever you like, young Master Soren. Do you want crepes or French toast?"
"No!" A scowl formed on Soren's face. "I don't want to eat by myself. I want to have breakfast like normal! I want to eat breakfast with my father and Ms. Cloutier!"
Tinny nervously wrung his hands. "I'm sorry, sir. Master Kent ate already and Ms. Cloutier is out for the day."
Soren immediately ran toward the dungeon door, reaching to grab the handle before Tinny wedged himself in front of it. "I want to see my father, now! Move, Tinny!" He shouted at the house elf who was attempting to block his way.
"Please. Lord Kent is working, master Soren, it's very dangerous. Just have some breakfast first and he'll be up soon."
"No! Get out of my way!" Soren was close to kicking the poor elf, not because he didn't like Tinny, but because his emotions were high. Ultimately he was able to push Tinny aside and open the door, bounding down the stone steps with his hand pressed against the wall.
Snape heard the commotion but was in a particularly difficult stage of his brewing— he had one hand on a stirrer and the other carefully adding dried shrivelfigs every 2.5 rotations. He glanced up briefly and hardened his face between stirs. "Get upstairs right this instant, Soren. NOW."
But Soren was undeterred. "No. I don't want to eat by myself. Why did everyone leave me?"
It took every ounce of concentration and focus Snape had not to screw up this potion, which was already on day 3 of brewing, but there was now anger and fear coursing through his veins and after adding another piece of shrivelfig, he looked up again, his eyes radiating fury. "You know it's not safe for you in here and you are to never come in this lab without permission. You don't even have on proper clothes or shoes. Go upstairs right now. Don't you dare disobey me!"
If Soren had any sense whatsoever, he would recognize that he was playing with fire, but he didn't care, his emotions were all over the place and the last thing he wanted was to sit by himself. So instead he plopped himself down on the steps and watched, refusing to leave.
"You and I are going to have a very serious conversation when I'm finished. And if you dare move one muscle from those stairs, other than going back to the parlor, I will abandon this potion and put all of my attention on teaching you a lesson you will never forget." Snape couldn't believe the boy's audacity, it wasn't like him at all. He was trying to keep his emotions in check but it was giving him heart palpitations having his impulsive child refusing to listen to a word he said, not to mention the pressure of trying to keep up with this complicated potion before he destroyed it.
For the next thirty minutes, Soren sat still on the stairs watching as his father moved deftly through the complex next steps of this potion. Most of the time he was fixated on his father, but he also took his time looking around at the hundreds of bottles of potion that lined every shelf in the room.
When Snape finally reached a stopping point, he tapped his stirrer twice on the inside of the cauldron, placed it down gently, and removed his robes, taking deep breaths as he decontaminated himself with his wand before stalking toward the stairs.
If Soren was scared, he didn't show it, and when his father came over and picked him up, he didn't utter a word or fight it, allowing the man to carry him up the shoddy stone steps into the parlor, angrily closing and warding the dungeon door behind him.
"I am appalled by your behavior," Snape said, setting the boy down on the carpet, having to restrain himself from smacking him on the spot.
Soren gave his father a menacing look. "You left me. Everyone left me. I don't want to be by myself!"
"No one abandoned you, I was letting you rest and sleep because you had a difficult night and you were clearly worn down. But regardless, there is never, ever an excuse to come into the dungeon and disobey me that way."
If Snape hadn't been so shaken from the night before, he would have had no compunction about putting the boy over his knee and giving him the hiding of his life. But now he was hesitant, not wanting to do anything that might further traumatize the boy. What the hell is wrong with you, Severus! You cannot let him get away with this!
"Where's Ms. Cloutier?" Soren demanded, crossing his arms in front of him, clearly unintimidated.
"Excuse me? Don't you speak to me that way. You're in enough trouble, you should be thanking your lucky stars I haven't already put you over my knee."
Soren narrowed his eyes back at his father. "I want Ms. Cloutier."
"Well she's not here. But I've had enough of your defiance, so you will spend the rest of the day in your room. And if you dare disobey me again or say one more word to me in such a disrespectful tone, you will get a spanking."
Snape took the boy by the wrist and dragged him up the stairs, Soren at least having the sense not to fight it.
When they reached his bedroom, Snape sat him on the bed. "You will stay here until I tell you otherwise. If you need something, you will call for Tinny. If I were you I would spend this time thinking about how I'm going to adjust my behavior because you are on seriously thin ice."
Soren knew it too, and he was still beyond shocked that he'd somehow escaped a more serious punishment. It almost made him wonder if his father just didn't want to bother with him any more. Maybe after last night, he'd realized he was too much trouble, and it was easier just to leave him here and ignore him. The thought caused his heart to sink further.
"Did you hear me?" Snape clicked his fingers at the boy.
"Yes, father." Soren replied quickly.
"Then you sit here and think about your egregious behavior. In fact— you will start by writing a letter of apology to Tinny." Snape walked over to the little boy's table and summoned some paper and a training quill from the classroom. Soren was still learning to write so he didn't even know if he was capable of such an assignment, but Snape didn't care if it was illegible scribble, he was determined to make him sit there and go through with the exercise anyway.
"Come here and sit down." Snape pulled out the small chair.
Soren obeyed immediately.
"You will write a letter to Tinny. And when you're done, you will give it to him and apologize sincerely for the dreadful way you treated him. And if I ever ever hear you speaking so rudely to him again, I will tan your hide on the spot, do you understand?"
"Yes, father." Soren nodded his head, his eyes filling with tears of guilt at how mean he'd been to the poor elf.
"After that you will read or study or lie on your bed. I don't care what you do as long as you stay in here quietly. But you're being punished, so you will not leave here for any reason, and you will not ask Tinny to go outside and play. Is that clear?"
"Yes, sir."
"Very well. I sincerely hope you will do some serious reflecting, because I do not ever want to see that kind of behavior from you again. In fact, I still haven't decided that I won't paddle your backside with my ruler when I'm finished. You most certainly have earned it." Snape got up and left the room, closing the door firmly behind him.
As soon as he got into the hallway, he let out a small growl of frustration. It had actually been quite distressing seeing his usually obedient and polite little boy acting so out of character. But Snape didn't know what else to do, he was afraid to punish him too harshly given how vulnerable he seemed to be, but he just hoped maybe some time alone in his room would help the boy sort himself out. Or at least just stay out of his way until Marie could come back.
Speaking of Marie. The two hadn't seen each other since they left Soren's room after midnight, at which point they'd both quietly retreated to their own rooms without exchanging a single word. Marie had foregone breakfast this morning and left the manor without any explanation of where she was going. Not that she owed him one—it was her day off, she could do as she pleased. But Snape didn't appreciate things being unresolved between them.
She'd never not come to breakfast before, so while she wasn't required to, it had surprised him. He wasn't sure if she was angry at him or just needed some space, but either way he didn't have time to worry about it right now. There were far more important things he needed to take care of.
After leaving Soren in his bedroom, Snape returned to the dungeon and called for Tinny. "Send a large tray of food up for Soren. Make sure he eats. Also I will not be having lunch today, I'll be working in my lab for the next several hours. Just ensure that Soren has plenty of food and if he gets hungry again, bring him whatever he asks for—within reason, of course. Except no sweets. He's being punished."
"Yes, sir!" Tinny said before disappearing to the kitchen.
Up in his room, Soren sulked. He was hurt and angry and despite finally bringing everyone together last night, it seemed as though nothing was going according to plan. Ms. Cloutier had left without saying goodbye to him and his father hadn't even bothered waking him for breakfast. No one wanted to be around him it seemed.
And he knew he'd been awful this morning— he should have never shouted at Tinny, and he definitely shouldn't have gone into the dungeons. He was actually quite horrified when he thought about how blatantly he'd disobeyed his father. Frankly he was still a bit stunned that he hadn't gotten in more trouble— he had fully expected his father to punish him severely for that. The fact he hadn't made Soren wonder if he had just given up on him, which made him even more sad. What if he doesn't want to be your father anymore? You're too naughty, now everyone hates you. Probably even Tinny.
On the plus side, he'd had a good half an hour to look around the lab for a love potion, although he quickly realized he didn't know what one even looked like, and there were so many potions on his father's shelves it would be impossible to find even if there was one. Not to mention reading the bottles in his father's script would be nearly impossible. It was definitely a dead end.
Just then, Tinny popped up with a tray of food. "You needs to eat, Master Soren."
As if on demand, Soren's stomach grumbled. He was hungry, so as much as he was tempted to refuse the tray out of sheer self-pity, he quickly thought better of it—not only because he was starving, but because he knew that was the fastest way to drive his father over the edge. "Thank you, Tinny. Do you know what time it is?"
The little house-elf looked so relieved that Soren was being nice to him now that he beamed up at him with a giant grin. "It's nearly 11:30am, sir."
"OK, thanks." Soren looked down at the tray, and it was filled with a huge English breakfast along with some juice and tea, it was obviously meant to be more like a brunch.
Soren set the paper and quill aside and tucked into the food, putting away quite a plateful before setting the tray aside and getting to work on his apology letter to Tinny.
Marie hadn't been able to sleep all night. She was worried about Soren, of course, but she also didn't know how she was going to fix things with Lord Kent. One thing was clear, though, something had to change.
They were arguing far too often—mostly about Soren—and it had obviously taken a toll on the boy. She knew she was partly to blame for this, but she had only wanted to protect him, to advocate for him. But maybe Lord Kent was right, she wasn't giving him enough credit or trusting him the way she ought to. It's just that she loved the little boy so much, she only wanted what was best for him, so it was killing her that she'd somehow made things worse.
She sat for several hours sipping coffee in a small cafe in Edinburgh. She didn't know why she'd chosen to come here except she was desperate for a change of scenery and she'd remembered this place from a visit she'd made with friends a decade ago. It just felt like the right place to come and do some reflecting.
Unable to sleep, she'd slipped out early this morning and said nothing, just needing to clear her mind. Even though she felt bad about disappearing without a word, she wanted to make sure she was in a much better head-space when she returned to the manor, because she knew there would be some difficult discussions ahead.
As she sipped her café au lait and munched on a croissant, she couldn't help but think about Lord Kent, and the way he'd hugged and cuddled and comforted his son last night— even if it had taken him some prompting to get there. She knew in her heart that he was a good man. He'd shown her this on dozens of occasions. Yes he was rigid and stern— qualities she ultimately found to be quite a turn-on—but he had never been truly heartless or cruel. And it was obvious he loved his son, even if she didn't always agree with the way he handled things.
Now that she was in a much calmer frame of mind, she could see things better from his perspective. And she had to admit that even sitting next to him last night, being in his close proximity like that, was electric. There was something there between them, a passion and a chemistry that was very real. The fact he was denying it and attempting to shut himself off she was sure was at the root of some of their tension, and why they'd both been so quick to anger over the last week or two.
Maybe you should tell him how you really feel. Something has to change—maybe it is worth the risk.
She'd think about it. That was what today was all about. She was going to walk around the city, far away from it all, and try to figure it all out. All she knew is that she hated the way things had been for the last week. Lord Kent had to stop pushing them both away—he had to do her part, but she also knew she needed to do things differently as well. Her heart ached thinking about poor Soren, and she vowed she'd never let him feel that way again.
Down in the dungeons, Snape was brewing feverishly. He was pretty certain he was getting close now. As long as he didn't make any mistakes on this potion, he was pretty sure he'd finally found a solution. Or at least be close enough that it would only require a few small changes and he'd be there. Then hopefully this whole fiasco would be over with in a few days.
It had actually been Soren's question about putting two people's hair in the polyjuice that had sparked his idea. It wasn't that simple of course, he knew the polyjuice base would never be stable enough to manage a predictable outcome, but the concept was interesting. So instead he'd gone through an enormously complex process of brewing in stages and with some different ingredients to see if he couldn't get a similar result. An external change, leaving his blood untouched. If it all worked correctly, he'd stroll into the Ministry as an unrecognizable version of Lord Kent, with the blood of Severus Snape ready for the paternity potion.
At which point he would gaslight them into believing the magic on their registry had been botched and demand it be altered so that his son's name appeared properly: Soren Kent. He'd make a meal of it, enjoying a display of indignant behavior at having to go through the whole process of proving who he was. He hoped that would be the end of it once and for all.
The pressure was certainly on, but he wasn't going to give up. He longed for the day when all of this was over so they could all just move on with life. Try to find some normalcy, a routine, and far less chaos.
Snape always did a lot of thinking when he brewed; it was a meditative process for him, so sometimes it worked to clear his mind, and it often helped him process his problems more clearly.
Everything was a disaster at the moment and he could feel the stress eating away at his body. He had been shocked to see Soren break down the way he had last night, and all because he didn't want to see the two adults in his life fighting like cats and dogs. Not that he enjoyed it at all either, in fact he loathed it. But when he realized that Soren was blaming himself for the arguments, it was a stark wake-up call. It had to end.
He had never been one for arguing. In fact, it was part of why he made sure he had clear rules and boundaries for everyone he dealt with. He made a point to be honest and direct, and although he didn't mind engaging in calm intellectual discussion or discourse, at the end of the day when he'd made a pronouncement, that was final. It was why he liked there to be a hierarchy, that way there was no confusion about who made decisions. It was why he demanded obedience.
In his own childhood, he'd grown up with a constant soundtrack of screaming and yelling, along with flying fists and pots and pans. He had no memory of it ever being any other way, in fact he was sure he was hearing his parents fight from the time he was in the womb, and certainly in almost every single one of his earliest memories, it was nothing but shouting and crying.
Growing up around so much chaos meant Snape learned to dissociate early, because he was always in a constant state of fight or flight and there was only so much a person's body could take. He retreated into his books and his mind, and when he got old enough, he spent as much time away from his house as possible. He'd become adept at bottling up and controlling his emotions, refusing to be anything like his parents.
Most of the time the fights were his father's fault— he was an angry drunk, and whenever he got blitzed—which was daily— he was ready for a fight. Sometimes he was just in the mood to beat on Severus, which he did without provocation, but the majority of the time he was looking for a row and someone who would fight back.
What Snape never understood is why his mother played into it. He would beg her to keep quiet and not instigate, or at least not engage with the man when he was off his head, but she couldn't help it, and she'd shout right back, egging the man on. And inevitably they would fight and scream, throw things, and ultimately Severus would try to step in which only resulted in him being beaten as well. Hardly a day went by without some kind of drama.
That is, until he got old enough. When his magic developed he felt emboldened. Even though Severus was slightly taller than the man, his father was always a much bigger physical presence. Despite his drinking, his body was strong and well-developed from his time in the army during WWII, forged even more by years of hard manual labor in the factory. That combined with the fighting skills he'd honed in every bar and pub in the Midlands made for a man who would physically overpower Severus until the day he died. So when Severus finally stood up to the man, it was with a wand, not a fist, and he immediately stopped laying hands on him. And his mother. At least when Severus was around.
He'd never understood why his mother had refused to use magic to protect herself, it was like she wanted to fight as much as his father did. The two had some kind of toxic relationship, and it was like they wanted and needed to scream and hit each other so they could deal with their trauma and emotions out in the open. It was as if it was the only time they felt anything.
Snape had made up his mind early in life that that would never be him. He found it appalling to allow his emotions to get the best of him, to put them out on display for the world to see. So he worked tirelessly to keep his boxed up inside, and it gave him a sense of control that he desperately needed to function. He liked being unreadable, imperturbable— it was what made him excellent as a spy, and ultimately what contributed to his powerful abilities at Legilimancy and Occlumency.
His childhood was another reason why he would never stand for that kind of chaos and disrespect in any relationships he did have, and it was certainly what appealed to him about domestic discipline. Not that he didn't believe a woman was an intellectual equal, but that he craved the predictability and peace that came with authority and structure. In his home, he vowed there would be no confusion, no arguments, no screaming and fighting. Everyone would know their place, and he would ensure that there was as little drama as possible.
Even as the Head of Slytherin, he calmly kept control over a hundred students in his House and he almost never had to raise his voice. He made sure he didn't have to— that is why he put such strict rules in place and made the consequences clear. Everyone knew what to expect and he didn't need to deal in emotions, he dealt in discipline instead. It was simple.
Until along came Ms. Marie Cloutier. It was like she knew exactly how to find the smallest chink in his armor. No matter what rules he put in place, what explanations he gave her, or even how much he threatened and carried out punishments, she just couldn't control herself, she had to argue. And for whatever silly reason, he'd allowed himself to engage with it, losing control of his emotions and of his household, and now it was happening more and more often. He didn't understand why it got to him so much, but there was something about her that made it infinitely harder to keep his feelings bottled up. She was his kryptonite.
But it absolutely couldn't continue. It wasn't good for him, and it wasn't good for Soren, and knowing what a sensitive person Marie really was, he knew it wasn't good for her either. Hopefully she'd be able to see that clearly now. He didn't know what he needed to do to change things, but he was going to try.
Hopefully it will all be better when this is finished. You're almost there. Once he'd sorted everything out with the Ministry, he would take them away—to the seaside or anywhere Soren wanted to go. And they would fix things. He and Marie would talk things out and find a solution. But there had to be an ultimatum, though. Things could absolutely not continue the way they have been. Either they will find a way to exist in a more calm dynamic, or this would have to be the end of it. He didn't want to lose her, but he would not allow this arguing to go on and destroy Soren.
After writing and giving his apology letter to Tinny, Soren felt a bit better. He thought about writing a letter to his father as well, but his hand was too tired. It had taken him ages to try and write that letter to Tinny, even with the training quill. Maybe he'd take a quick break and try again later.
He laid on his bed for a while and thought about everything. Despite his best efforts this morning, he knew he'd never be able to find a love potion inside the manor. But he didn't want to give up. After everything that had happened last night, he knew he had to find a way to bring his father and Ms. Cloutier together. If he didn't do it now, it would soon be too late.
There was only one other solution that he knew of...he'd have to buy one. But how? He had hoped he'd be spending the day with the Potter's and then he could have gotten them to take him, but apparently they were busy this weekend, so he'd have to find a way to go by himself. How hard could it really be?
His father was going to be working all day in the lab—he'd made it clear that he wouldn't be seeing Soren until much later. Would the man even notice if he was gone for a few minutes? I could just sneak through the floo and come back and he'll never know. He'd used the floo on several occasions now, there wasn't anything particularly difficult about it. And then he'd just go to the potion store and buy it.
Soren knew it was a dangerous plan, but he didn't really care. He had to get his hands on this potion before it was too late, before he missed his opportunity entirely and his dreams of the perfect family were gone forever.
In order to buy himself extra time, Soren called for Tinny. "Tinny, may I please have some tea and snacks?"
When Tinny came back with the tray, Soren thanked him and then casually asked. "Is father still working in the lab?"
"Yes, sir. He's going to be working all afternoon. Does you needs something else?"
"No thank you. I was just curious."
After Tinny popped away, Soren packed up his small knapsack with a few things. He put on his warm clothes and packed an extra jumper, his toy dragon, his snitch, and some of the crackers and fruit Tinny had put on the tray for him. Sadly there were no chocolate biscuits, but Soren wasn't surprised. He was sure his father had told the elf he was being punished and he wasn't to have sweets.
Now that he was ready to go, his galleons securely in his coat pocket, Soren was feeling butterflies. Maybe this is a bad idea. What if you get caught? Well, he was pretty sure his father would be beyond angry, but what was the alternative? If he didn't get the love potion, he'd never get his family. He just hoped it wasn't too late already. The pay-off was worth the risk.
Be a brave boy, you can do it. So with a deep breath, Soren strode out of his room. He closed the door carefully behind him and then made his way to the stairs, listening intently for any noises below, only moving on when he was sure it was quiet.
He tiptoed down the stairs slowly, avoiding the places he knew would creak. When he got to the parlor, he looked around. He had hoped Tinny would be in the elve's scullery, where he normally was during the day, getting started on dinner. Now what?
The floo powder. Soren looked up and saw it in a silver bowl on the mantle, but it was far too high for him to reach. He looked around and then dragged an ottoman over and stood on top, his fingers barely reaching, but finally managing to work the bowl to where he could grab it. Without hesitation, he put two large handfuls of floo powder in his pocket, and then replaced the bowl before scrambling down from the ottoman and pushing it back into place. For several seconds he stood in front of the fire, his heart beating so loudly he could hear it in his ears. You can do it, Soren. You'll be back in no time! This will fix everything!
He threw down the floo powder and shouted "Diagon Alley!" before stepping into the green flames, the familiar feeling swirling and spinning him through space until it spit him out in a crowd of people coming out of the communal floos at Diagon. He picked himself off the floor and disappeared into the hoards of people before anyone could notice him.
Author's End Note:
OMGGGG- what is going on! I can't wait to hear what you think! This chapter has a LOT going on- where to even start? Do you think Snape and Marie can work this thing out between them? Will Snape be successful with his potion, finally? And what the HELLLLLL is Soren thinking! OMG.
Tell me everything- I LIVE for your comments!