"…you gotta be kiddin' me."
Gazlene Membrane grunted as she looked out at the blonde-haired, brown-eyed, dressed-all-in-pink girl who sheepishly smiled at her in return. She had her hands in front of her and was clasping them, as Gaz stood by her family. Professor Matthew Membrane was an acclaimed and beloved scientist who was bigger than Bill Nye, and also waaaaay more taller and muscular too, as he cheerily shook the girl before them's hand.
Sadly this well-built frame didn't carry to his son Dibbun Membrnae, better known as Dib. Yes, Dib had his dad's scythe-like black hair…he, like his dad, had to wear glasses (though Membrane wore goggles so thick you couldn't SEE his amber/golden eyes) and like his father he also had a love of science, though his love of the paranormal and supernatural trumped even that. But you'd never consider this skinny little shrimp to be a good fit for the next Professor Membrane…not when he was such a TWINK compared to his dad.
"It's such an honor to have you here!" Professor Membrane told the girl, who was named Circe M. Thiabaud. "Gaz, Dib, say hello to our new exchange student."
"It's such a pleasure to meet all of you." Circe cheerily intoned as she gave a bow of her head AND a curtsey with the sweet pink, glittery dress she wore. As Gaz more closely examined her she gagged, for f—k's sake she had DIMPLES. Yeccccchhh. She looked half Shirley Temple and half Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. "I'm very sorry my parents could not come with me on this journey, South Africa is not in a good place right now."
Hmm. So that's where she was from. Looking more CLOSELY at her Gaz did notice she appeared to be mixed race, there were some distinct African traits, despite how…slender she appeared at first glance, she had very surprisingly long legs and her eyes were a deep, beautiful, hypnotizing brown. Probably from her father's side, if she had to make a guess.
"We understand completely, times are rough in South Africa. As such we're more than happy to welcome you under our roof. It was my honor to become a host for you!" Professor Membrane insisted as he led Circe into the house. "Would you like my son and daughter to show you around?"
"I'd be ever-so-grateful." Circe said with a sweet smile as Dib took her hand, a blush coming over his cheeks as he did so, and led her up the stairs, Gaz sticking her finger in her mouth in the "oh GAG me" gesture. Yeeccccchhhhhhh!
"And this is MY room, I have all my things here, especially for studying the paranormal, we've got this alien in the neighborhood I've been trying to get at for years, he's VERY clever, and THIS is my collection of Mysterious Mystery DVDs I'm personally upgrading to blu-rays with my own machine…"
Gaz just went to her room and rolled her eyes, the Mexican-American girl grunting a bit as she adjusted the settings on her gaming PC to try and get into the MMO RPG known as "Heart of Darkness". She'd sliiiiightly grown out of her goth phase…but not so much that she couldn't appreciate a "Play as a Creature of the Night" MMO.
"Alright, now, at last, I can…oh. OHHHHH."
She looked in awe at what was on the screen. A present for her! She must have won that in-game lottery! The Scythe of Infinite Curse! A weapon that dealt massive damage AND inflicted a slow-draining-HP curse on ANYONE it sliced in a critical hit, and because Gaz had put so much points INTO critical hits via accuracy, this weapon was essentially perfect for her. She was about to click it when-
"Oh, what's this?"
She turned. Circe was in her room as Dib stood by her. "Hi! I thought she could see your room?"
"…I'm…BUSY right now." Gaz grunted out as Circe looked over at the screen.
"Ohhhh, you finally got a Scythe? Congratulations, I lucked out with one myself last month, we should go on a raid together!" Circe offered. "The Lich Queen's a great choice. She does have that insta-kill move but with TWO Scythes we could probably-"
"You…play Heart of Darkness?" Gaz was now intrigued. "…what level are you?"
"Oh, I got to the highest level way back when it first came out last year, I'm now in the New Game plus mode and at level 54."
Gaz inwardly flinched, though she remained stoic, her purple-haired face looking at Circe as her skull necklace hung down over her shirt. She was only level 50 herself…and Circe had already gone past the level cap and was looping!?
"Well…uhh…fine if you wanna do a raid sometime just…get your computer set up and…whatever…" Gaz muttered as she turned back to the game. Circe patted her on the shoulder, making Gaz instinctively flinch as she LITERALLY saw Circe skipping out her room.
"UGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Gaz moaned. How could someone so girly and like THAT be so good at her favorite game?! No big deal. She'd just try to ignore her otherwise. She was just a guest. She'd be gone eventually. This wasn't a big deal.
…
…
…
…but things got worse at school.
"And then I shot her. It was weird." Skoodge insisted to Dib as he sat with him for lunch. Skoodge was an Irken alien in disguise, just like Zim, who Dib was DETERMINED to see exposed, but Skoodge was much nicer and more friendly than Zim. He was perfectly willing to sit with Dib and talk and chat about anything, and he was also a surprisingly good artist…especially at sculpting. Skoodge probably could have been a great doctor had he not been forced to be an Irken invader, but he now could use his talented hands in another way.
"So you got your project finished?"
Gaz sat not far away, munching on a chocolate pudding up. With her side dish being a chocolate pudding cup…and her dessert being a chocolate pudding cup! See, her father felt it was important that his kids make their own lunches. And in the SECOND bag was-
…hey, where WAS the second bag? It was just here a minute ago. Gaz looked around as Skoodge pulled out his sculpture he'd made for the art class project. "Ta daaaa!" He proclaimed. It was indeed pretty impressive…him as the Nutcracker, killing the Mouse King rather…um…violently.
Yeah, Skoodge hated rodents, it was a thing nobody wanted to get into.
"Wow, you put a ton of detail into the intestines soaring out his belly and…oooh, I can actually count some bone rings in the neck!" Dib admitted, Gaz looking briefly at the little sculpture. Yeah, okay, it wasn't half bad. Decapitations always made art better-
"Hi! Mind if I sit down?" Gaz looked up to see Circe approaching. She cheerily waved at them with one hand, the other holding up her own brown bag lunch as Dib nodded and let her scootch in. "VERY nice sculpture." She told Skoodge, as she got out her own lunch of a sandwich and some fruit cups and some juice, along with a very nice small collection of delicious-looking candy. She examined the sculpture as Skoodge smiled warmly back at her.
"Oh, you must be that new exchange student." Skoodge said. The normally green-skinned, antennae-having Irken alien had a surprisingly good disguise by…well…ZIM standards. Holographic appearance of a red and messy-haired lad though his clothing wasn't that much different, it looked just like his invader's attire but more "sweater" than "Irken battle attire". "You like it too?"
It was definitely better than Dib or Gaz's. Dib had tried his best but…he'd just made a fairly simple flying saucer. It wasn't BAD it was just…basic. He did do some nice texturing on the alien inside though, which was obviously Zim in his real form, and it gave him a sense of smug happiness to see Zim scowling at him from across the cafeteria. But GAZ's sculpture, which laid next to him on the table, to be turned in next period, was…a fiasco. She'd tried to make a fighter jet.
It looked like squash. It looked like a bad bowl. It looked like someone sat on it.
"I'm a bit of an artist myself." Circe admitted as she reached down into her backpack and pulled something out. Dib and Skoodge gasped. Holy crap, it was a hand-carved wooden statue of a bird in a nest, and the detail was astounding. Baby birds were slumbering inside the nest, with feathers finely carved in, little eyes shut…save for one in the middle who was open-beaked, calling for momma. But something about the bird looked…different. The pattern of the feathers wasn't like the others.
"Wait, that's…that's not a robin, the others are robins, what type of bird's that?" Dib asked.
"Oh, a cuckoo bird." Circe said. "You ever hear of them?"
"I know about cuckoo CLOCKS." Skoodge said. "Never heard of the bird itself, is it special?"
"Well, the cuckoo bird momma will have her baby disguised as another bird's baby." Circe admitted in a whisper, leaning in to really tell the story. People were milling over, looking at her wooden sculpture as Gaz grunted again in irritation. Folks seemed VERY impressed that a kid could make something so detailed. "And the baby cuckoo when it's hatched will try to push other birds out of the nest so IT can eat all the food!"
"Wow. That's one mean bird." Gaz remarked, surprised at how…GANGSTA the cuckoo sounded. But still, while she normally WOULD be impressed at somebody doing a sculpture about such a dark subject, coming from Circe, it seemed…insulting. Insulting that this prissy princess was so much better than HER at everything she should love.
The day went on and Gaz was stuck with Circe sharing her classes. Her teacher, Mr. Elliot, gave them a pop quiz on history and though he'd insisted Circe, being new, didn't have to take it, Circe had said she wanted to show she could handle the material…and she aced the damn thing. Mr. Elliot was practically in tears as he clutched it to his chest!
And then that night, Professor Membrane told Gaz she had to finish up the chores she'd been putting off…like taking the garbage out. It had begun to pile up in the garage and Gaz had kept saying she'd do it later…and later…and later. Well, later was NOW. So Gaz had to slowly stagger out of the garage, gigantic bundles of garbage in her hands and one in her mouth so she could get all the bags OUT.
But then the bag in her mouth spilled open.
"….AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHH!" Gaz shrieked and yelled, covered in crap, bounding and plunging up and down in a fury. She stomped and snarled and hissed as she FINALLY got all the trash into the garbage can, a-stomping back inside…juuuuust in time to see her dad and Dib and Circe at the dinner table in the middle of eating a Bloaty's Pizza.
"Dear, go take a shower, you're not hygenic enough to eat with us." Professor Membrane insisted as Gaz looked at the pizza, then at Dib and Circe, who's mouth was half full of delicious cheesy goodness. Gaz's mouth hung open…but she groaned and raced up the stairs to quickly shower.
By the time she did get back down though…only two slices left. She moaned, sitting alone at the table, eating the two smallest pieces left, munching quietly and stewing, looking at the barely-any-soda-left 2 liter bottle of "Poop Cola" that laid on the table nearby.
…which had gone flat, to boot.
"…I'm beginning to really hate that girl." Gaz quietly muttered to herself.
The days went on and bit by bit, Gaz was feeling left out of everything. The teacher never called on her even when she had the answer. Yes, sometimes she DID have the answer to a question, she wasn't stupid. Just bored and lazy. But Circe always got called on and she always had people following her and praising her in the hallways.
What was strange was…EVERY group in school seemed to like her. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adored her!
"I don't get it!" Gaz insisted to her brother as she saw Circe shaking hands with Jessica, the now-second-most-popular girl in school before heading over to the table with the goths and emos, the "darkest" kids in school. She nervously glanced about…before then quickly pulling out what was distinctly a small bag of pot gummies, passing them around to the kids. They all cheered, downing one each as they then began to merrily sing along with Circe.
"I wanna fuck you like an animaaaaal! My whole existence is flaaaawed!"
"You get me closer to Goooooood!" Circe finished the verse, hitting QUITE the high note as all the kids whooped and hollered at her table, patting her on the back, a big grin on her face as Torque Smacky, who was sitting across from them at the table with the jocks, raised his juice box up and gave a solemn, respectful nod at her.
"It's simple." Skoodge said. "They think she's a righteous dudette." He remarked. "She's so likable and she does all the stuff we like to do too! What's NOT to love?" He added. "Look at this adorable scarf she made for me!" He said as he pulled out a sweater from his backpack…which was really the alien PAK he wore on his back.
"…is…is that made out of what I THINK it's made out of?" She muttered.
"Yeah, she carefully cut off pieces of her own hair to weave this scarf for me!" Skoodge said dreamily. "She said she's part of "Locks for Love", they donate hair to needy people all the time. She's so considerate and sweet and talented!"
Gaz banged her head into the cafeteria table so hard that it literally cracked. "Hate. HATE. HAAAAATE!"
Things didn't improve even online. She'd gone on that raid against the Lich Queen two nights ago and sure enough…Circe DID play the game. Circe, like her, was a vampire slayer/werewolf hybrid who used a cool scythe as a weapon…and she was better at it than Gaz. She kept getting critical hits and Gaz kept whiffing when it mattered most. It was HER who got the most EXP that day, leaving Gaz to angrily break her headset over her knee…which made her yelp and bounce "ow ow ow" all around the room.
When Gaz had been reading "Curses for Dummies" in her room the night after she realized the house was…too quiet. She exited her room, looking around the house, confused until she heard the garage door open. Her dad, Dib and Circe walked in, Gaz staring at them, one eyebrow raised. "Where the heck did you go?!"
"Oh, slipped my mind." Professor Membrane shook his head, smacking his forehead with a thick-black-gloved hand. "We went to see that charming Einstein biopic directed by Mr. Nolan." He explained. "I completely forgot to tell you we were going. Silly me!"
"You missed a very lovely movie." Circe said as she patted Dib on the shoulder. "Dib was such a great host. He bought all the snacks for us and everything. Too bad you were shut up in your room!"
"Well, why didn't you come get me if you knew I was in my room?" Gaz asked Circe who gave an apologetic look, clasping her hands behind her back, pushing her bottom lip up.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Gaz! I just thought you wouldn't like to come, you seemed so busy in that book of yours! Please forgive me!" She said, bowing her head as Gaz's face turned a little red with anger as she found her fists clenching and unclenching and imagining what it would look like to knock out all those pretty little teeth in Circe's mouth to make them into MODERN ART…
And worse still, this kept happening. Whenever they ordered out, or wanted to eat out, they almost always forgot to invite Gaz. Professor Membrane kept suggesting trips to Dib and Circe…but never when Gaz was in the room.
"You said you'd take ME to Disney World!" Gaz shrieked before she clasped her hands over her mouth. Dib gaped at her, stunned by this. Gaz…admitted she wanted to go to the Happiest Place on Earth!?
"…well…you were busy playing your MMO, I forgot to ask you…" Dib sheepishly said. "And Circe said you probably wouldn't be interested cuz…I mean…it's Disney, and…you usually don't like "wholesome" stuff…"
"I…I…" Gaz looked from Dib to Circe to her dad, all of whom had MICKEY MOUSE EARS and overstuffed tote bags loaded up with souvenirs. "…did…did you at LEAST get me a souvenir?!" She whispered out.
"I did! Here!" Circe handed her a small little statue of Mickey Mouse that read "I Went to Disney World" underneath in big letters he stood upon as he cheerily waved. "Now you can feel like you DID go!"
…
…
…
… "This just in. A 10 year old South African exchange student is being violently held outside of a bedroom window. The police are attempting to negotiate her release."
"MS. MEMBRANE, PUT THE NICE LITTLE GIRL DOWN!"
"GRAAAAAAH! BUCKETS! OF BLOOD! RAINING! RAINING DOWN! DISNEY WORLD! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HEEEEEELLLLL!"
"Gaz, put her down SLOWLY!"
"Open the door, Gaz, the cops are gonna bust your bedroom open if you don't!"
"TRY IT AND MISS PERFECT'S A PANCAKE! I'LL DO IT! I'VE BEEN WANTING TO DO IT FOR WEEKS!"
Well, eventually poor Gaz was subdued and tazed.
Repeatedly.
Now she was stuck in a jail cell, waiting for her father to bail her out. She grunted as she looked over a small harmonica left in the cell, humming a few bars before trying to play it…but frankly she was crap at playing instruments besides guitar. She tossed the harmonica out of the jail cell, turning away, folding her arms over her chest.
Then she heard someone playing the harmonica right across from her! She looked up, seeing…CIRCE of all people!? She was here?!
"Beeaaaautiful dreeeaaamer, wake unto meeee…" Circe blew a few gentle notes to play the next lines of the song as Gaz gagged.
"Ugggghhhh! Have you come to gloat? No, that'd be too goody-goody for you." Gaz muttered as she rolled her eyes before seeing a VERY wide, unnaturally large, sinister smile spread over Circe's face.
"Alright. I'll gloat. It's fun." Circe remarked. "Yeah, you're absolutely screwed, Gaz." Circe giggled evilly. "The fact is nobody really gives a flying FUCK about you…not anymore. You're unpleasant, you're mean-spirited, and well…compared to me…" She flicked one of her bountiful locks of golden hair about and giggled. "You don't compare." She said as Gaz noticed her voice was far different now, more…warbled. Like a…parrot's impersonation of a human voice.
"…what are you ACTUALLY?" Gaz insisted. "Cuz you're not human." Her eyes had drifted to the wall behind Circe. Her shadow. As she'd been speaking, she'd noticed her shadow had changed into something distinctly animalistic. "Are…are you a BIRD?"
"Well it IS rather in the name…" Circe giggled. "Circe Moko Thibaud…"
Gaz blinked, her head slightly cocked as she began to rearranged the letters. After about half a minute though the answer came to her when she looked back at that shadow and realized why the voice of Circe sounded like it did…
"I Am the Cuckoo Bird."
"Give that girl a prize!" The Cuckoo Bird guffawed as she clapped her hands together, her form now shifting, becoming distinctly VERY avian. She had the same brown eyes, but now golden rims surrounded them, with her skin a dull greyish color. She looked like a cross between some sort of changeling reptilian alien and a gigantic bird with her big old beaked mouth which had far too many teeth...
"I should have known there was something wrong about you." Gaz muttered. "You were too perfect at everything. What I can't believe is NOBODY else noticed, not even my idiot brother. Noticing unnatural stuff is his entire THING."
"There's no stigma attached to success, Gazlene Membrane!" The Cuckoo Bird guffawed. "As long as I get wonderful grades and out-perform all I do nobody questions it." She cheerily intoned as she mockingly curtsied again. "Your father and brother were happy to welcome in a poor sweet little girl from South Africa into their home cuz they couldn't help themselves, their better nature just couldn't let them turn me away. But you, ohhh, you're like me. You're just as greedy. I'm just better at this than you are."
"When I get out of here I'm going to FRY YOU AND EAT YOU IN BARBEQUE SAUCE." Gaz snarled, racing forward, trying to grab at the cuckoo through the bars of the jail as the changeling bird guffawed.
"Ha ha ha ha! I'm sure you'd love a drumstick!" She said, wiggling a leg about in the air. "But face it! I've almost totally pushed you out of their lives. Once you get found guilty of what you did to me in court your daddy'll disown you and you'll be out on the streets." She sniggered. "Normally it's SO much harder to get rid of girls like you. The last girl who's life I took over, back in South Africa, I kept hoping she'd snap in some way and try to hurt me and that'd force her parents to lock her in her room, or to kick her out of the house until her attitude improved, but…"
The Cuckoo Bird now looked very irritated. "She was just too NICE to do that. Normally it's easier, once the girl's alone I can…accidentally…have her fall out a window or off the roof so I can replace her, and nobody disbelieves my story about it because they all think "oh she just gave in to despair" or the like. After all, girls hurt themselves all the time. But nooo, THIS one was so irritatingly persistent. I couldn't pass off her death as a suicide the way I did the others. The whole plan was foiled. So I got myself brought here to America so I could try it again. Now you're stuck in jail and I'll have all your pretty, shiny things…"
Gaz stewed angrily, thinking about what to do as Circe walked off, laughing all the while. She paced back and forth, thinking long and hard about what to do before an idea came to her. Something Dib couldn't possibly ignore.
"I get a phone call, right?" She called the guard when he came by. The guard was VERY noticeable…because he had a big, but adorable-looking large brown and black dog of some indeterminate breed with beautifully deep brown eyes. "I want to call my brother, Dib Membrane. I want to ask for a book." She asked as the dog barked cheerily in front of her, the guard patting him over the head.
"Sorry, a BOOK!?" Dib inquired, listening to Gaz's request, confused. "What book?"
"Curses for Dummies." Gaz insisted, as the guard let her rub the top of "Ol' Betsy's" head as Betsy munched happily on a gigantic turkey bone, loud CRUNCHA CRUNCH CRUNCH noises ringing out. "Bring it here."
"Gaz, you can't curse the justice system or the like." Dib reasoned. "I mean for one…everyone already knows most lawyers don't have souls so-"
"It's not for THEM. Just bring it, okay? This may be the last thing I ever ask from you!" She demanded.
"...fiiiiine." Dib sighed on the other end of the line. "Fine. I'll bring it to you. But I'm not smuggling anything into it, the guards aren't dumb enough to not check for stuff like a shovel or a bomb or the like."
"Funny how the only intelligent cops in the whole city seem to end up guarding the prison." Gaz remarked.
"They must pay way better."
"Nope! We get to work with the dogs." The guard remarked. "The guys out there have to borrow ours cuz the city's on a tight budget. But WE get them every day! Who's a good girl?" The guard said, ruffling Ol' Betsy's head as she woofed cheerily back.
Luckily for Gaz, what she needed was easily available. A very simple curse on page 8 of the Curses for Dummies book. Specifically…a curse to "make someone look how they REALLY are inside". This curse was especially useful for folks who took plastic surgery, or had masks or disguises on. It had once wrecked havoc on Los Angeles back in the day, according to the author and now…now Gaz was going to put it to proper use!
Gaz waited for Circe to be alone with Dib…it wasn't too hard. She'd come by with him to put on a fake show of being soooo sorry that Gaz was soon going to go to trial. "Our dear daddy's trying to make a deal with the prosecutor, but it's not going well. After all, there were so many witnesses, Gaz!" She remarked as she shook her head, a big shit-eating glint in her eyes. Dib noticed Gaz was looking right at Circe and speaking quietly under her breath, then he looked back at Circe.
"Uh…Circe, you feeling alright?" He asked.
"I feel just fine!" Circe said…unaware that her REAL form was now becoming visible. Her eyes had changed color…her skin was that freakish blend of bird and reptile, and even her voice was now exposed. "It's just SUCH an awful shame what's happened to Gaz."
"...yeah, yeah it is…" Dib said quietly, his eyes bulging as he stared at Circe, then at Gaz.
"You know, Circe, I think being in prison shows people for who they really are. Don't you agree?" Gaz asked, Circe smugly grinning at her, unaware that Dib was sneaking OUT of the prison hallway and asking the guard who'd stopped by before if he could bring Ol' Betsy in…his sister would love to pet the dog again, after all.
"Are you…wait…" Circe was beginning to lose her smile. "You're up to something." She murmured. "You did something funny, you…" She then realized her voice sounded different, gazing down at herself. "What the?! What did you just do?"
"GRRRRRRRRR…"
Circe sloooowly turned around, as she came face to face with a ravenous-looking "Ol' Betsy", Dib holding onto her leash.
"...girl…you like a nice, tasty bird, right?" He quietly inquired.
"AAAAA!"
…
…
…
…needless to say, the prosecution was forced to drop the charges when Circe…shall we say…mysteriously vanished. Her complete and utter…and to Ol' Betsy, DELICIOUS…destruction meant that there was no body. Her being gone destroyed her unique spellcasting…everyone forgot WHY they were holding Gaz. Even the witnesses who'd seen Gaz that infamous day couldn't remember why all of them were gathered outside her home.
With no body and no crime to recall, the charges were dropped. Gaz was free once again, and was now relaxing at home, sipping on a soda.
"Okay, I've decided. We need a dog." Gaz told Dib firmly as he sat across from her, watching her play some classic Mario with one free hand.
"I thought we HAD one…" Dib murmured. "Didn't he die two years back?" He wondered aloud.
"Good point. But that's no reason we can't have a dog." Gaz remarked. "I'll get my copy of the Necronomicon out and we can get Scooby back to business…in case any more annoying pests like Circe come around." She said as Dib walked out of the living room and headed to the backyard to check on their old dog house-
OH!
"...Gaz? Uh…the…the old dog house? The one Scooby got buried under?"
"...yeah?" Gaz heard the tone in his voice, raising an eyebrow. "What is it?"
"The thing is…it's gone. Just…gone."
"WHAT?!" Gaz shot up, looking in Dib's direction, peering over the couch. "Who could have taken it?! Why would anyone take an old, dead dog?"
Meanwhile, down the street…someone else was interfering with the dark powers of magic just as Gaz had. Tak, the purple-eyed, British-sounding Irken invader who was Zim's rival, was currently wearing a deep dark purple robe, chanting loudly as she stood in an empty garage. Circles surrounded the body of the dead dog in the middle of it all as she held her gloved hand up, eyes glittering.
The chant rang through the garage as lightning crashed in the sky overhead, dark clouds formenting as…at last…THROOOOOOM! It worked! The dark spell shot up from the ground, enveloping the dog! Smirking, Tak watched as it began to return to life, its body twitching and groaning, flesh regrowing right before her eyes. POP! The empty eye sockets became filled, bones re-righted, fur growing anew as the dog then rose up upon two feet…gaining distinctly…greenish, faintly reptilian-esque skin…black antannae…overly large eyes…
Indeed, her spell was working perfectly. Why should the human Dib and his sister enjoy the fruits of dark magic's labor when she could make her own army? This combination necromantic and transformation spell, if it worked out, would be PERFECT for her needs. She could take entire graveyards and make them into willing Irken soldiers!
"Now then…" She spoke aloud, pulling her hood on her cloaked robe down as she looked the brown-eyed Irken over. "Your name?"
"Scoobert, miss."
"Good, good. I want you to do a few…things…for me. To assess your readiness in close quarters!...combat. Come. I have…something to show you." She remarked, gesturing for him to follow her out of the garage and upstairs to her room.
THE NEXT DAY…
Dib and Gaz blinked in surprise. A VERY angry Tak was holding onto a brown-eyed Irken who was wearing a dog collar, and she shoved the end of the leash he was on into Dib's hands. "HERE! Okay?! YOU take him!"
"Why on Earth are you giving me an Irken prisoner?" Dib asked.
"I thought he'd be useful for my plans. But the effects of the spell weren't good enough, he's too…DOGGY…to be a good Irken! I mean for one…he piddled all over my couch! He drank out of the toilet bowl! He kept chasing squirrels around the backyard instead of focusing on practicing his rifle work like I insisted!" Tak snapped. "And…well…uh…"
She DEEPLY blushed, unwilling to say the next line but the VERY broadly-grinning Scooby did it for her, looking at Dib and Gaz.
"Well…what can I say, masters? After all…YOU had me fixed!"