The rise of the Black Rod
Chapter Nine: August
It had started, Harry thought, harmlessly enough with adorable little Moira wanting a cat. Somehow, within a day, every adopted daughter wanted a pet – and then the boys realised they could have pets, and, pets, so many pets.
Harry had bought every kitten at Magical Menagerie, and all Mrs Figg's that she'd part with. He knew part-kneazles were a good idea for children as they'd keep the children safe. Several of the part-kneazle kittens were orange, and that made Harry wonder if Crookshanks was the dad.
The huge crowd of children inside Magical Menagerie was his fault, he pondered, but his first idea of taking them in family house team groups, in alphabetical order had been shot down by Daphne, in case the Blacks got there first and took all the pets the other children wanted. So all forty-two at once it was. He wondered if he would go deaf. Or deafness curse himself. That was looking more and more likely. But one by one, children got kittens, decided they wanted owls, or in once case; Sanford took a toad. He said quite definitely he wanted to be a proper wizard with a toad. Harry hoped he didn't grow up to chop off snake heads and have all the senior Hufflepuff girls as groupies. Still, Sanford was… Harry checked the card. Already a Hufflepuff. Bugger. He resorted to paying by signet ring and hissing, as he didn't have a pocket full of galleons.
But the other thing he discovered was that Daphne was a ridiculously soft touch for a child holding a kitten. Four girls had kittens and owls by the end of the trip to Eyelops; and Harry resignedly burnt a snake into the parchment IOU for two hundred and three galleons.
That was also how they ended up buying so many ponies, he assumed. And her horses got moved over from her family's stables too. There were, obviously too many ponies for Potter hall's stables, but the stables at Black manor were vast. And now half his 'daughters' went everywhere in jodhpurs and coats. They looked, well, posh instead of like poor orphans who'd somehow got adopted and were still surprised about four meals a day. Four of the older boys seemed to be on a horse-clothes in the house kick too. It was probably his imagination, but he thought the girls were starting to effect a posher accent. Like Daphne's.
Harry drew the line at buying an entire flight of pegasi. The price per animal was horrendous, and only the older ones could safely ride something that flew anyway.
Daphne nodded at him and said "That is a very sensible decision." And then she slept in a different bedroom that night, which meant Harry didn't sleep well. But he woke up wrapped in a familiar warm blonde, so, he supposed it was okay. Then she pouted. And explained that the Malfoy's had once had Abraxans but had lost them when the DRCMC found out Malfoy's grandfather Abaraxas Malfoy had killed his stallion, after it attacked him. Harry felt that sounded very Malfoy to him. And having flying horses would prove he was better than Malfoy. Not that he felt that needed proving but… Daphne then made a very persuasive argument that left Harry light-headed, and wondering when she'd learnt to do that. His memory helpfully reminded him of all the other times she'd done that, and he suddenly felt vigorous. And quite adult as his magic hadn't done a single stupid thing even though he felt tingly all over. "Dear?" he asked "have you had any trouble with accidental magic lately?"
"Um" said Daphne, licking her lips, "Are you offering?"
"As an experiment?" said Harry "For science?"
Their bedroom windows remained unbroken, even with Daphne panting, dark-eyed and pink-faced.
"We're mature adults now" said Harry, licking her belly-button.
"Ohhh" groaned Daphne, wiggling. "So much to do…" Harry regretfully realised he couldn't just keep licking Daphne to see what happened. He had a pretty fair idea now, he realised.
"Well, I suppose its breakfast and babies," said Harry, sitting up. "Shower."
They were only a little late for breakfast and hadn't done a single naughty thing in the shower. Daphne had put on a very tiny underwear set, but… that was, well he'd cope.
Harry made enquiries by going to Hogwarts and asking Hagrid about Pegasi instead, who obviously knew Madam Maxime, and she gave Harry the name of a breeder in the Pyranees. A long-distance floo call later, and Harry had to go to the bank. It was, after all only money, and the girls and boys did seem to love the ponies. Harry suspected there were dog-lovers among his adopted children, but with Potter hall full of cats, it wasn't going to work. In the event Black Manor was ever habitable, the dogs could be there, he supposed. And the really weird stuff at Caer Peverell.
Harry got to the teller then asked to withdraw a million and a half galleons, and the goblin teller stopped breathing, as far as he could tell. A bit later they snapped out of it, and dragged him out the back, and up the stairs. Harry got to wait in the waiting room for it felt like an hour or so, then the doors opened, and Ragnok's secretary, in a suit, opened the door. "Ragnok will see you now" he said, and stood to one side.
Ragnok was sitting, one leg over the arm of his totally not a throne behind his banking desk, in leather trousers and no shirt, while the two goblin women in chain-mail bikinis um, well they were feeding him and rubbing his arms and chest. Perfectly normal for your bank manager, really.
"So I need a million and a half to buy pegasi for my children and wife" said Harry.
Ragnok growled, and one of the handmaidens rubbed his shoulders vigorously from behind , her chain-mail breasts bumping his head.
"There are penalties for early withdrawal" said Ragnok gruffly. "It is most unsatisfactory. You said you would not withdraw the cursed gold. That it would be mine to lend."
"I had a sudden need to placate my wife." said Harry, and he had an idea "Knight of the Snake clan can be… difficult to please."
Ragnok made that gravelly wet sound again that Harry supposed was a goblin laughing.
"Gold or gems?"
"Gold bars will be fine. I have to take it to France. Not our economy, so not as big a problem I think."
Ragnok was clearly unhappy about it, but it was Harry's money, after all.
-==0==-
Portkeys to France were awful, Harry felt, landing in gravel. He levitated the chest and walked up to the big white roman villa with the terracotta roof. A man came out the front in a very expensive black silk robe, and stopped , and bowed. A fat man, Harry realised.
"Lord Slytherin" he said with a trace of an accent "Hugo d'Chasseur, equestrian agent at your service."
"Right" said Harry "Twenty pegasi at the price you quoted." Harry slid his wand over, and the chest stopped in front of Hugo the fat, and with a swish and flick, the lid opened.
"Gold." said Harry. "Obviously, delivery to Black Manor, England. "
Hugo d'Chasseur stared into the trunk, the sunlight reflecting gold on his face. "Twenty" he said. "Twenty pegasi." he was sort of whispering.
"You can get twenty, can't you?" asked Harry. Twenty seemed like an acceptable trade-off, as Daphne had explained you simply can't fly one all the time, it needs to rest and eat.
Hugo sighed, "Twenty is rather a lot. I can probably get twelve, but you will be buying all the new rideable yearlings… people will be reluctant to sell all the polo stock and prices will go up.
Oh. Economics, thought Harry. Also. Polo with pegasi? Sounded interesting.
"Twelve then." said Harry, and he hesitated "Of course, I will be asking around. If it turns out you overcharged me…"
"I would never overcharge the Hero of Britain" said Hugo. "Are you starting an aerial polo league?"
Yes, yes I am, thought Harry. I've got four teams. Not just quidditch! "Yes"
Once Harry got home to England, he remembered about the DRCMC, and went to ask questions.
The Head of DRCMC filled in the application form for him, which Harry thought was helpful.
He got home by floo, nearly tripped on shoes, as usual, and was just in time for morning medical call. Which had five kittens with various things that Harry didn't know how to treat, but Daphne fed them all Pepper-up, and that seemed to work okay. Works on cats, thought Harry. Good to know.
"I have" siad Harry in a pause in the grazed knees, cat-bites and elbow grazes "got twelve Pegasi coming."
Daphne stopped casting "Antoinette, you're fine now" she said, and put a hand on his forearm "Dear, did you say you'd bought twelve pegasi?"
"Yeah, apparently aerial polo is a thing. We'll have a house teams league, of course." said Harry "We could play that at Hogwarts, but it'd be uneconomic unless we used thestrals, and they're too fast for children, let alone being invisible."
"A national polo league?" asked Daphne, her hand tightening on his forearm.
"Um. Well we're the only people with the pegasi so we can't really" said Harry.
"But … we could do demonstration matches at Hogwarts, in time" said Daphne.
"Um. Yeah," he said.
"Hmm," she said, "We could own the license for aerial polo. I'll go see Magical Games and Sports, see what it'd cost."
"Huh" said Harry. Sounded maybe interesting. "Okay" he said.
"Harry?" said Daphne softly "The quidditch league makes serious galleons every year. We'd be in at the ground floor on the polo league."
"We'd have the only players with any experience" said Harry.
"Oh Harry, you dear. Job skills for the children!" she said, and kissed his cheek.
That, thought Harry, had been an accident.
"You can coach them of course. Best flyer around" she said.
"I'm already coaching our quidditch teams" said Harry.
"Well you did say you like to fly" said Daphne. "And it'd be more fun for you than attending the Wizengamot meetings."
She was so right. A genius, in fact, thought Harry. But she'd be teaching all the horse care and flying bits. He could ,he mused, use a thestral…. No problem getting round faster than the pegasi then. And that a thestral was faster than a firebolt was… pure coincidence. A saddle, he thought would be required, or his bits would meet that big bony wing joint if he stopped quickly.
-==0==-
The Hogwarts letters came and Harry had three new first-years. He decided they'd take three third-years with them to Diagon Alley, so every first-year would have a bigger sibling to explain stuff. And help herd them. They had their book-lists, so Harry got three sets of books and paid.
"You do realise we've got the other twenty-two to do?" asked Daphne. "And they've mostly got different books because of electives." Harry was almost tempted to take out the list and just get every book for every child at each year, but then Daphne had to sign the IOU for seventy galleons, and Harry mentally multiplied by nearly ten. Right. This would need to be done like a quidditch team drill. Delpha, Corine, and Kerian went home with their stuff, Andrea, Nona and Gene having been excellent guides. "Well done you three" said Harry. "We're coming back this afternoon to do the rest."
"All at once" said Daphne, sounding headachey. Harry made sure she got headache potion with lunch, and aftewwards stood up "Right. Hogwarts second years and above, into the ballroom. We're going to Diagon Alley for books." Harry paused. "And stuff." Andromeda made a head-jerk at the child minders. "I'll be taking … a dozen minders counting Daphne, Andromeda and I, and you will all of course be on excellent behaviour. The home points system is of course going to determine – as judged by Daphne, who gets tower rooms etc. So… ballroom, in tidy clothes – that means no -grass stains, no rips, in fifteen minutes. Anyone not ready by then loses two points."
"Go" said Harry, and chairs scraped as the older children all ran off.
"That was uncivilised," said Andromeda. "Nearest nine, you're with us. Be there in ten minutes."
Child-minders got up and left the table.
Daphne stood up "We'd better get dressed." she said. "You're not going in that."
"I went shopping this morning in this"
"And bought pets. You look… dishevelled." said Daphne. "And shave again, do be a dear?"
Harry stood in the ballroom in a clean robe, and clean shoes. Eyelops owl emporium wasn't the cleanest place, he mused.
The minders stood with Andromeda, looking pensive.
"Everyone on top of shrinking charms?" asked Andromeda. Nods all round.
"House elves, we need shopping bags!" said Andromeda firmly. With a chorus of pops. house-elves brought large shopping bags with shoulder-straps.
"Right. We're ready. Now for the children" said Andromeda, with a hint of steel.
And the childrend were actually on time.
"Right. Everyone has their equpment list, and has marked up what they already have?" asked Andromeda, summoning a self-inking quill and conjuring a writing desk.
Harry conjured two, and Daphne vanished his. "You're not writings lists" she said "Half of you with lists that need updating to me. Now.!"
"Next year" said Harry firmly to the milling children, "You're losing points for not being ready for this." Andromeda snorted.
The bill at Flourish and Blotts was over seven hundred galleons. Harry felt quite disturbed, and pressed his signet ring into the receipt and hissed, and with a faint burning smell, the ring left a snake on it.
"That can be redeemed at Gringotts" said Daphne. "Staff, stow the purchases, we're going for potions ingredients."
Daphne paid that one… Harry had stood by the door of the apothecary and casually blocked it. It wasn't like they could serve anyone else while his small army got their supplies anyway.
And a small revolt happened.
"We want icecream" said Olive, looking a little nervous. It was a fairly nice day, thought Harry. Fortescutes wasn't really Fortescues anymore, but thirty-two ice-creams including nine sundaes, eight banana splits and four milkshakes, Harry had to pay an eye-watering sixteen galleons for … snacks. And there were basically no chairs left, or tables inside, and the staff resorted to conjuring plates. They ran out of chocolate, which made Harry suspect his beautiful wife had more influence on them than he'd first thought. But, as he finished his choc-mint waffle cone, it was a treat. And… Olive smiled at him, and the children had visibly relaxed.
"Right" said Harry "Who needs other supplies?"
Most hand went up.
"Split up with a minder, and meet outside… quality quidditch supplies in forty minutes" said Harry.
"Can we get new gloves?" asked probably Claude. "Only mine got lost."
"And I will personally lead our resupply mission in Quality quiddith supplies." said Harry.
"Can I have the new Firebolt extreme?" asked probably Neal, who was one of the Greengrass relations.
"No you may not" said Daphne. "You have the same broom as all your siblings, well, if you made a house team, we might consider it."
Harry wondered how much a firebolt extreme cost anyway. Hypothetically.
After buying two new trunks ( which he should have assumed for everyone as they were orphans, after all,) Harry checked out the Freibolt extreme in the front window. It looked nice and glossy. The little card said 'Price on enquiry', so Harry barged in with Furmann and Claude, and got to the till.
"How much is the firebolt Extreme" said Harry.
"Um… fifty five thousand" croaked the teller. "It's a marked improvement on the firebolt with a twenty-percent higher top speed."
Harry felt that fifty five thousand was an absolute ton of gold for a broom. He looked at both Furmann and Cladue "Well, that's quite expensive" he said. "Is Neal on a team?"
"Um no" said Furmann. "It is a brilliant broom though." he added. Which meant to Harry that he had red blood, like any proper wizard. But the idea of fifty-five thousand times forty-two was… horrific.
He took the boys outside and they waited.
"Would you really?" asked Claude.
"If someone was on a school team and wanted to go professional" said Harry "I think we'd consider it. But it's a lot, and forty-two of that's not happening."
"That'd be… two million, three hundred thousand galleons" said Claude.
"And that" said Harry "Is way too much for just some brooms."
"But.. it's a firebolt extreme" said Furmann. Harry wondered if he'd have said that to his step-father in Diagon alley, and imagined doing this as a teen, with Sirius. Who'd just brought him a Direbolt without asking, to replace his nimbus two-thousand. But, thought Harry responsibly, Sirius didn't have to buy forty-two of everything.
-==0==-
Justin sat at what was now, he supposed, 'his usual' booth in the Three Broomsticks. He eyed the still-foaming glass of butterbeer in front of him. It was a Saturday, and not a Hogsmeade weekend. He waited, time passed, and he started conjuring beer coasters, just to fidget with them. Madam Rosmerta leaned on the bar, and looked his way. Justin sat and tried not to feel nervous. He'd never had a, well date with a witch he was erm… seeing. Well, seeing naked in his bed, kind of seeing.
His mind carried him, like a boggart, back to his dates when he was at Hogwarts. The simple third year ones, going to Hogsmeade with the other puffs, some of whom were girls, well, and Sue. Sue sort of merited her own category, not because of puberty, but because she and the guys had already been exploring Hogwarts's cursed vaults for years by then. Then in fourth year, Sue came back from summer hol's with well… boobs, and suddenly all the Ravenclaw boys were asking her out. Just had never thought about Sue seriously as a date. The only date destinations that would make sense with Sue were dusty catacombs under the official dungeon levels, and locked secret towers of Hogwarts. It suddenly occurred to Justin that he hadn't mentioned exploring … historical bits of Hogwarts to… Hogwarts's current history professor who was… a witch he was seeing.
He took out his pen, and rummaged in his pockets. A very long folded receipt for … supplies from Boots. He was seeing a woman in his bed, after all. He cast a quick transfiguration on the receipt, and it turned into a normal looking lined writing page. Justin started making notes about his school adventures, and having written fifteen lines, read them over, and went back to the beginning, and racked his brains for the names of the books they'd found clues in.
Isobel sat down opposite him while he was concentrating.
"Sir Justin" she said, and Justin nearly cracked his neck, startling upright.
"What are you doing?" asked Isobel, her eyes staring at the paper "Nothing official, I'd hope?"
"I realised," said Justin ,capping his fountain pen, and slipping it into his jacket pocket, and looking at her, "That I had not mentioned some little adventures we had at Hogwarts, exploring some… places that are largely mythical. The cursed vaults. Ernie, Sue, Hannah, and I started in first year. It was all a bit of fun – the actually dangerous bits were long gone. Dusty catacombs, the odd locked tower room." Isobel's eyes, normally so sleepy looking bored into his intently.
"And what is that list are you writing?"
"A list of places we explored, where they are, and I um, remembered to write down where we found clues. Well, in a lot of cases, which books, though some paintings had clues, and a few of the ghosts."
"I find," said Isobel, sitting straighter "That the Hogwarts ghosts are not as helpful as I had hoped. A number of them seem to feel they still owe loyalty to my predecessor."
"What did happen to Binns?"
"Precisely nothing," said Isobel, "Though it's apparently technically possible to erm… move him on, well, as I said, the ghosts are still on his side. Rookwood says while it's technically possible to make Binns erm… move on, but as I said, the other ghosts just… expect him to be there."
"Oh, erm, any trouble about m, them knowing about your family?"
"They're too old to remember that" said Isobel "Except the girl – Myrtle Warren – she keeps getting confused and thinking I'm the daughter of the Minister."
"Myrtle?" asked Justin. "Old moaning Myrtle."
"Well, show me the list?" asked Isobel. Justin turned it round and slid it over the table. She peered at it. "Cursed vaults?" she asked.
"Safer than it sounds." said Justin "From what we gathered, they were explored completely in the late eighties, when we went looking, all the actually dangerous bits had been taken out by staff… coming to clean up the mess."
"The mess?"
"It's before my time" said Justin, and Isobel's expression turned down. "But from asking people's older siblings, there was a student trapped in a painting for years, some actually cursed things, and one of the Defence Teachers turned out to be – "
"The dark lord?" asked Isobel.
"No, apparently that one was just a thief, who wanted to steal the magical artefact in the last vault.."
"Last vault?"
"The um, vaults have clues to find later vaults" said Justin. "The first one's not that hard."
"That sounds dangerous, and suspiciously like a deadly obstacle course for students." said Isobel.
Justin nodded "Han mentioned that Neville said that Ron said about the hallway of death in our first year. Um, ninety-one. "
"Hallway of death?"
"The third floor hallway on the right is out of bounds to anyone who doesn't want to die a painful death" said Justin "Something with a three-headed dog. Harry and co, of course, explored it, and nearly died."
"Was Dumbledore completely mad?" asked Isobel.
"You'd have to ask them to know that" said Justin. "But Neville said they managed all the monsters and puzzles."
"That seems like, exceptionally poor care of students," said Isobel.
"Yeah, even Harry's not going to advocate deadly monsters." said Justin. "Even if he has brought back Necromancy and ghoul studies."
"Ghoul studies is, and Rookwood is, fairly harmless." said Isobel lightly, "Sanctity, of course needs a thorough slapping."
"But… necromancy?"
"Theoretical. As Lord Slytherin said, as theoretical as History used to be." said Isobel. "You couldn't show the cursed vaults could you?"
"One of them's in the forest, and I think it was closed up" said Justin. "That was the last one, of course. Some underground thing."
"How old were the students going out of bounds into the forbidden forest ?" asked Isobel, lifting her eyebrows.
"Um," said Justin, "Not the first years!"
"Good" said Isobel, standing up.
"Huh?" asked Justin.
"Come on. We're leaving. You're going to come and show me all these locations." said Isobel. "I've got the rest of the day off."
Justin considered his dispatch case, in his bedroom, on his desk. There wasn't anything urgent, and he had managed to get across the somewhat insane legislative bills schedule for the wizengamot, and summarise for the dispatch on Friday. So he could have today off, really.
Justin followed Isobel, in the general direction of the few Hogwarts carriages, till she stopped, and held out her hand. Her hand was, well cooler than his, and drier, and … felt nice. It reminded him rather viscerally of holding other parts of Isobel Lufkin. A somewhat uncomfortable Justin climbed into the Hogwarts carriage after Isobel and sat down.
"How was your week?" asked Isobel. Just had finished summarising his summary when Hogwarts hove into view again. It looked fine. No fires, no dead thestrals, no goblin knights. Just Hogwarts, and the odd student whizzing round on a broom. It looked nostaligc, he realised. His Alma Mater.
"So, what part of all of that did you find interesting?" asked Isobel.
Justin thought for a moment. "Well, Hermione Granger's bill for house-elf rights is, of course facing stiff opposition, but its… it just makes it the same as mistreating an animal you own. Oh, and apparently that wasn't a thing, so she had to write up a bill harmonising our animal rights laws. Justin sighed. "When Her Majesty gets time to read my dispatch, I rather think she won't be pleased."
"She won't?"
"She's a dog-lover, loads of Corgis? Anyway that and horses," said Justin. "It wasn't till Hermione made the point in the Wizengamot and got nothing that I even realized the laws weren't the same."
"Oh," said Isobel. "Well, that's sort of your job, I suppose."
"I am Her Majesty's servant" said Justin.
"Well today, you're my tour guide." said Isobel "And I want to see secret passages. I keep having students disappear on me when I'm doing rounds. You'd know a lot?"
Justin remembered a terror-filled year hiding from Carrows and Inquisitorial squad. He suppressed a shiver. "Yes" he said, and swallowed. "Quite a few."
"I suspect I know one you might not," said Isobel as the carriage bumped a little going onto the gravel closer to Hogwarts castle.
"Really?"
"There's a staircase from just outside the staffroom to the room behind the high table" said Isobel "It's called the staggers by the staff."
"The staggers?"
"One might stagger down it from a post-lessons brandy to dinner," said Isobel, "I don't drink on work-days. Patrols and marking."
"I can't imagine a rowdy classroom first thing with a hangover would be fun" said Justin.
"That sounds like a recipe for a very bad day." said Isobel, and the carriage stopped.
"Now," said Isobel, "We're not going to fool around. This is serious archaeology. Oh, and Filch is a bit… of an arse."
Justin got out, Isobel climbed down, and the Thestral walked the carriage about the length of a cricket-pitch, to wait, Justin supposed.
Lurking by the front doors was a lank-haired, dust-coated figure that Justin recognised immediately, even though his back was turned, as Filch
"Filch" said Isobel. "This is Sir Justin – he works for the Queen, and he's here to show me some archaeological sites. I will probably want them roped off, so be a dear, and find time next week. They may end up being part of Hogwarts's public spaces."
"More to clean" grumbled Filch, turning. "More places for them to breed." Only this Filch was young and only looked a bit like Filch.
Justin sighed. "I think," he offered "Most of them have secret doors or locks. I think Hagrid has all the keys, so, um… "
"I ain't cleaning secret passages" said Filch "I'd be here all year and never get anything else done."
"Indeed," said Isobel. "Thank you Filch."
"Miss Lufkin" said Filch.
"Now, Sir Justin, are there any secret doors on the ground floor?" she asked.
"Just behind the stairs there's an alcove" said Justin.
"That's my cleaning cupboard!" protested Filch, who was hanging around.
"The other side of the steps" said Justin. "It leads up to the third floor; goes up inside the wall."
Isobel walked over to the right alcove, and looked in it. "Kronos?" she asked Filch "How do you open your door?"
"With a key" said Filch "Or the student's would be in there breeding."
"Hmm" said Isobel "Sir Justin?"
Justin stepped around Isobel, acutely conscious that he'd um shagged her, and pressed the two carved fish at the same time that opened the stone back of the alcove.
"Both fish at once" he said.
"Duopisces?"? asked Isobel. "doesn't ring a bell." she remarked.
"See you later, Kronos," said Isobel, and she squeezed past Justin into the narrow stairway.
She immediately stopped and lit her wand, and searched carefully.
"Justin?" she asked "This staircase could well have gone down as well." she said, poking at the wall to the left. She cast a complicated charm, and the seams between the stones glittered briefly in blue. "Hmm.., seems solid" she mused. Justin stepped in the secret door, and pushed it shut.
"Light up," said Isobel, "We need to check this wall carefully."
"Um" said Justin "Harry's map says it just goes up."
"Harry's map?"
"He's got a map of all the secret doors and passages" said Justin.
'Of course… as Lord Slytherin" said Isobel.
"Um, actually his father and friends made it. It's enchanted to show where everyone is at all times" said Justin. "We could have used it in ninety-seven, I can tell you."
"And you know about it how?"
"Ginny mentioned it" said Justin. "Wished her stupid ex had left it, so she could use it."
Justin got them all the way to the seventh floor without really being on the hallways at all.
"I'm getting the impression" said Isobel "That students who knew the secrets passages would be invisible."
"Well, that's how we survived seventh year" said Justin "That and the room of requirement."
"Which is where?"
"East wing. We're nearly there" said Justin.
When Justin walked back and forth, Isobel stood and stared "This seems… involved." she said.
And then the wall shuddered and reformed into a doorway.
"I was expecting behind the tapestry, honestly" she said. "It's like the front door of Diagon Alley."
Justin opened the door – he had to give it a good hard push, into a common-room with hammocks and three house banners. Notably not Slytherin house.
"The room, of requirement." said Justin. "The house-elves call it the come-and-go room. Whoever opens the door can get the room to be whatever they require. It sort of reads your mind and gives a pretty good try. This is kind-of what we had as a hiding place in the war. We slept in here after things got bad."
"And No Slytherin house banner because?"
"There weren't any in Dumbledore's army" said Justin. "The likes of Lady Slytherin kept out of everything, and the nasty ones were inquisitorial squad, well, and obviously Death Eaters."
Isobel looked around the room "Hammocks?"
"Well, that's how we slept." said Justin.
"Obvious difficulties present themselves. Toilet runs?"
Justin concentrated and a pair of Hogwarts doors appeared in the interior stone walls.
"Loos." said Justin, "Well, bathrooms."
"And food?"
"We had some friends in the house-elves, and the entrance to the kitchens wasn't that well watched. But mostly the couple of house-elves that delivered."
"So, what else has this room been?" she asked. Justin concentrated, and the room cleared out, got mirrored walls and a duelling piste, bookshelves… all empty and a few desks.
Justin frowned "The shelves used to have books" he said. "Something's wrong with the room, I suppose.
"And this was?"
"This was the Dumbledore's army training room. Ninety-six, ninety-seven" said Justin. "Harry Potter taught practical Defence classes with Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley."
"That seems, in hindsight, like a very capable set of teachers."
"Mostly Harry, honestly. He's a natural at Defence, and … well, he's good at teaching it. He gets enthusiastic and suddenly everyone's practising Patronus charms."
"Can you do a Patronus Charm?"
"Yeaaah.. but it's hard." said Justin.
"Marry me," said Isobel abruptly.
"What?"
"Well, not right away, obviously" said Isobel "But… a handfasting. Today's April the first which erm, may be the most propitious day for a handfasting to start. A year and a day hence, we marry. Assuming we don't decided to end it."
"Like getting rngaged"
"Well, a bit more medieval, but.. I'm a history teacher. Also, for a couple of important things, you'd count as my husband."
"Things?"
"Hogwarts staff code of conduct. So, hypothetically, you could stay overnight in my rooms and… I wouldn't get a lecture from Professor McGonagall." said Isobel, biting her lower lip.
Justin concentrated, and the room shrank into a bedroom-sized space, with a four-poster bed, balcony windows looking out at the view on three sides, and a roaring fire.
"Oh my god" said Isobel "This must have been Hogwart's absolute best make-out spot."
"We um, tended to have the room for DA stuff. If someone's in the room and they don't want other people coming in, the door vanishes."
"And how, as a teacher, am I supposed to stop students from having sex in here?" she asked. "And I don't think I'm game to touch the sheets on that bed."
"Hmm" said Justin "I've never um… used the room like this" he said.
"Point of order, Sir Justin. You have, you just did, and if you are about to say 'Because I can turn it into a kinky sex dungeon,' well, the Handfasting's over before it began." said Isobel.
Justin snorted, and the room cleared out, and got a book-case, and a stone pillar with a statue of a witch on it.
"What's this?" asked Isobel.
Justin walked over to the witch and tried to work out who she was "All I asked for was a room to make a handfasting. The um.. the book-case should have books about handfastings. There's definitely something broken."
Isobel walked slowly around the statue. "You know," she said "That could possibly be Hecate."
"Hecate?"
"Goddess of magic and death. Mostly magic." said Isobel. "Fascinating. It's almost certainly a tenth century depiction – the figurative style, and the shoes, if nothing else."
"So, do you know how handfastings work"? Asked Justin.
"It's a vow" said Isobel "We clasp hands, and both of us use our other hands to conjure a ribbon, wrapping our hands. It could be done in front of friends or family, or privately. Afterwards, the ribbons would be kept till the marriage date, and used in the ceremony."
"So… like an unbreakable vow, only not deadly." said Justin "Not that I'm planning on breaking it off."
Isobel inhaled sharply "You… you would?"
"Yeah" said Justin. "You and me, and basically we see how we go for a year?"
"I feel obligated to tell you that I have cats," said Isobel.
"You do?" asked Justin. "How… many cats?"
"More than two" said Isobel.
"Huh… Harry was desperately trying to find cats the other day. All the orphans wanted pets."
"Cats not a deal-breaker?"
"I don't mind cats, and I do have to point out that I live with my parents."
"In a huge manor house, in the country."
"Well yes, but. Um"
"Um what?"
"There's a castle too. Neidpath castle, and we don't ever live there, and it's usually open to the public."
"And nothing magical about it?"
"The fireplace is on the floo network, as a … "
"Bolthole. You should get some protections set up."
"It's a public monument."
"It's hardly a bolt-hole if … Death Eaters could pay sixpence and walk in" said Isobel.
"It's two pounds, four for a guided tour" said Justin. "We've discussed the logistics of using it as even a dinner venue and it's fraught. We can't shove cook through the floo, for starters."
"She's muggle?"
"As are my parents." said Justin. "That's not a problem is it?"
"No" said Isobel "Some sort of runestone system for your family castle, with one last piece missing would be a solution, possibly. It's not my field, but Batty's mentioned that Aurors use something like that, I think."
"Batty?"
"Bathsheba Babbling, Professor of Ancient runes" said Isobel. "Batty's quite good fun really." She frowned "You're actually a knight, whose family owns a castle."
"My father the Baron's castle," said Justin, "There is a big hole in it."
"Hole?"
"Not economic to repair" said Justin.
"Get some goblins in" said Isobel.
"Statute" said Justin.
"All big historic building go under wraps for work to be done – to keep the rain off if nothing else. Get goblins in after the wrapper's up."
"You've never dealt with Historic Scotland," muttered Justin.
"Did you say something?" asked Isobel.
"I was just… muttering to myself. So, handfasting?"
"Don't mutter dear," said Isobel, and Justin heard the exact same tone his mother used with his father.
-==0==-
It was nearly September, and Harry wondered over the sou course about getting organised to go to the Hogwarts express when you had twenty-two of everything… the fuss and bother of the Weasleys wasn't going to work for four times the number. And Daphne would get a splitting headache, and Harry suspected he'd probably get one too. There was no time, he thought like the present. And the shopping trip had sort-of worked okay. Apart from the cost.
He stood up "Right. Hogwarts students, and that includes Corine, Delpha, and Kerian, we're packing for Hogwarts starting today. By tomorrow evening, you will have your trunk packed."
"Check off the lists" said Daphne, helpfully.
"Everyone will be checking off their school lists, and making sure you have all your pet supplies. I am aware that it is not September the first. You all have plenty of clothes, so pack your uniforms and leave out two days worth. Anything missing, or that you need you will write down, and bring to the … ballroom after lunch tomorrow."
"Trunk check tomorrow evneing" said Andromeda pointeedlt.
"Trunks will be in the ballroom after dinner tomorrow, to be checked." said Harry "We're… taking the carpet to Kings Cross, so all trunks will be in the ballroom for inspection by dinnertime tomorrow."
There were small worried faces looking at him. Harry tried to smile. "We will have a day to fix any problems like, cracked trunks, missing tools, lost uniform socks… so do not worry. We just need to be rognaised"
"But brooms!" wailed Olive.
"I'm sorry but yes, brooms will need to be in the ballroom tomorrow night with your trunks."
"Strapped on" said Andromeda.
"Brooms Strapped to your trunks" said Harry loudly "Yes I know you're missing a day of flying. Yes, I know I'm totally unreasonable. But there are forty-two of you, and we just can't have everyone muddling around in the morning before we go."
"Yes dear" said Daphne. "Our fearless leader" she added.
"And if anyone isn't ready" said Harry "Daphne will find them something extra good to do on the last day of august… like… maybe shovelling horse dung all day. Cleaning dung shovels… I'm sure she'll think of something."
"That's disgusting. I'm not a sadist" whispered Daphne.
"Or perhaps I can simply have a chat to Professor McGonagall" said Harry, and something occurred to him "By the way, I did notice none of you are prefects. Now, there are two prefect per year per house, so twenty-four prefects, and head boy and head girl. Of which, none of my children… who make up what percentage of the school, Olive?"
Olive's face went pink, and she blinked Um… I um… I dunno?" she said.
"And neither do I" admitted Harry "But you'd think, given there's twenty of us, one of you would be a prefect. Do consider making an effort. I'm sure you'll get home points for it."
"Ten points for making prefect" said Daphne clearly. "Not that Harry or I were one, so don't get worked up about it!"
"Well yes. To recap. Hogwarts students, pack your trunks using your list. Check off items as they go in. Broom strapped to trunk. Trunks into the ballroom, simply ask a house-elf. Anything missing, we'll deal with after lunch tomorrow? Great." Harry sat down. "God it's like running an army" he muttered.
Daphne stood up " Furmann, Claude and Olive, you're coming to a talk in the office in ten minutes."
Then she sat down. "What?" asked Harry.
"We need to give them the talk" said Daphne.
It's like being a general, and embarrassing at the same time, thought Harry later.
Olive had said "Well I think from watching Mum Slytherin, I've got a pretty good idea."
"Oh trust me Olive, we're keeping it seemly." said Daphne.
"Potion" said Harry.
"Yes." said Daphne , clicking her fingers. A bottle of potion appeared on the coffee table. "Potion. One capful a day. Owl me for more. "
Olive hid her face and bluished.
"I'm not interested in being a grandmother" said Daphne ."I knw you probably aren't but it's a precaution."
"The boys get potion too" said Harry "I'm not talking to someone's dad about this."
"Feelings" said Daphne.
"Oh yeah. um. You might not believe this but boys get feelings too." said Harry. "Obviously, teenage boys are mostly horny, but also lack confidence."
"So in almost all respects, they are like teenage girls" said Daphne "Apart from the obvious."
"I'd rather give you a book at this point" said Harry awkwardly "But, boys get hard. Till they get off or get less excited. They may leak a bit.. and obviously, semen of they come. Get it off things – it stains." Olive looked horrified.
"And no don't take their suggestions as gospel. Teenage boys are often disgusting, with poor hygeine." said Daphne "Though a good blowjob can be fun, just remind them you will bite if they try to, for example, choke you."
"And any mention of that from girlfriends., you tell your head of house so the boy can be set right immediately "said Harry. "Not in my school."
"Well, for consenting adults, with practice, there are charms but children are amateurs" said Daphne, and Olive paled.
"No daughter of mine is getting a reputation as a professional" said Daphne. "I can't imagine wanting to be a school broom, but if you get the urge, do try to be discreet."
"Or ask Daphne about memory charms" said Harry.
"Oh and no using love potions" Harry added.
"Unless you're in an established, stable relationship and frankly you're only at Hogwarts for two more years, so just no potions."
"And any sign of them, again, report to head of house"said Harry, his Slytherin ring finger itching.
Harry sighed "Look, as an ex-teenage boy, I got crushes on girls. Most blokes did. Sometimes we'd ask girls out. Sometimes it was just too hard."
"But you're…"
"He was a weedy quidditch player with messy hair" said Daphne.
When it came to the boys, Daphne had the bright idea of getting her parents over to talk about relationships.
"And just ignore those two" said Cyrus waving to Harry and Daphne on one couch. "God, they never talked to each other at Hogwarts, met while he pretended to be someone else, and took years to get engaged."
"With a lot of drama. I think it's because they're both such… moodish people."
"Moody." said Cyrus "Though let's not dwell on either of them mellowing significantly after they started sleeping together."
"I feel personally attacked" said Harry.
"Oh hush you" said Daphne. "You were very moody."
"And why aren't we seeing that Neal of yours, he's even a relation of ours on the Greengrass side?"
"Okay. One more" said Harry, heading for the whiskey decanter.
"Claude, be a dear and go send Neal here?" asked Daphne.