A/N I forgot to mention this with my last updates. lol So I watched this adorable freaking anime called Buddy Daddies. 10/10 recommend, adorable Three Men and a Baby meets Leon the Professional? Adorable best friend hit men raising a sweet little girl together because trauma and found family. Anyway, one of the main characters is named Kazuki. Due to me not speaking Japanease and trusting the shit read aloud program I use to help me write, I have been pronouncing it wrong this whole time lol. It is obvious now. I was saying and hearing KaZUki but it is KAzuki. lol just like the rest of the names are pronounced correctly. Now it bugs me every time I listen to the doc, I keep correcting it in my head. So distracting. Well just in case anyone else didn't realize that either lol ALSO only one chapter left after this for part one! WOOO Yeah for heartache!

Chapter 22

Sakura

Six-hundred and eighty-three days into the past

"So, let's see." Mebuki looked thoughtfully down at the list they had put together over lunch while Sakura packed their most recent purchases into a storage scroll. "We've got almost everything you'll need." She smiled over at Sakura. "Now let's do the fun stuff."

"Fun stuff?" Sakura questioned.

"Baby clothes and toys!"

Sakura smiled back at her mother. "What do babies do with toys, Mebuki?"

The older woman chuckled. "Well, not much at first. But they won't be a newborn forever. And even when they're small, an eye-catching toy can help with tummy time and entertain them when they're fussy."

"Oh, that's true." Sakura had made sure to highlight the section on tummy time in the parenting book the Hokage had given them. She'd spent one of Kakashi's last missions skimming through it and highlighting the most important parts. He was probably one of the smartest people she knew, so he didn't need her highlights and notes. But it made her feel like she was somehow a part of raising him.

They spent the next couple of hours cooing over tiny outfits and socks. Sakura was positive she'd bought more clothes than Kazuki would ever be able to wear. His first pair of shoes and three different kinds of pacifiers—one just because it had a pug face on it—were also purchased.

"What's wrong, Hana?"

"Hm?" She looked up at her mother from the plush frog she'd picked up. Only then did she realize how hard she was holding the poor thing. "Oh. I… nothing. I'm fine."

Misunderstanding her distressed expression for nerves, Mebuki gave her a knowing smile and put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "You're going to do just fine, sweetheart. And if you ever need anything… advice, or just someone to hold him so you can shower, I can be there."

Turning into her, Sakura hugged her mother. She knew she had meant every word. Mebuki didn't know that the baby in question was her grandson, but she and her husband would be sources of invaluable support to Kakashi and love to their son. If she was going to go back to the future, Sakura knew she wouldn't be able to thank her enough.

"Thank you, Mebuki." Pulling away, she turned back to the stuffed frog, picking up another. She knew another little boy that needed one too. "I'm going to get these, and then I think I'm done."

KSK

Seven-hundred and five days into the past

After coming home from her shopping trip with her mother, Sakura had begun a serious phase of what Mebuki called 'nesting.' After washing heaps of baby clothes and sanitizing three different kinds of bottles—because apparently they were all different and some babies like different ones, so she couldn't just get one kind, what if Kazuki didn't like the first one he tried and Kakashi didn't realize that was a possible problem—she cleaned and organized everything.

She put cute little baskets filled with nappies and wipes and rash cream and spare onesies in the main living room beside the couch and in their bedroom on the bedside table. Kakashi dutifully helped her put together a little dresser for their room for all of his little outfits, and held her when she cried over them.

Sakura blamed it on hormones. They're so tiny and cute and he's going to grow so fast! But really, she had broken down when she'd recognized an outfit. One in particular that Kazuki had worn—that she now realized had been purchased by his unwitting grandmother—the first time she had held him. She had been eight and thought he was the most precious little thing she'd ever seen. Now she found herself devastatingly jealous of her younger self. It was ridiculous.

At least she felt like Kakashi had everything he was going to need. Between all her preparations and the support of her family and their friends, even though it would be the hardest thing he would ever have to do, she knew he would be okay. It still killed her when she allowed herself to dwell on it, but she knew—so long as nothing had changed—he would survive this.

Whether or not he would still love her in twelve years if she woke up in the future, that was something else entirely. This, too, worried in the back of her mind as her days with him dwindled. She knew he wouldn't remarry or have any public relationships, but that didn't necessarily mean that he still wanted her. That he missed her was obvious, but would he still want her if she dropped back into his life?

He would be thirty-four and not the same man he was at twenty-two. Their years apart would change him, not the least because of their son. The war had changed Kakashi for the better too, she knew. She hadn't been present for all of it and the details were unclear—but knowing what she knew about his past now—Sakura realized how much of the guilt that predated their relationship was alleviated when he lost his Sharingan and was finally able to get closure with his former team. He'd seemed lighter, somehow, after. And stronger. The only thing still weighing him down was his grief for her.

Maybe that meant he really was waiting for her. Maybe it would be easy for them to come together again. After all, the older Kakashi wasn't a complete stranger to her. And now that she'd gotten to know him so well, when she thought about the man she remembered he seemed much more familiar to her.

But if he had let her go? If he couldn't see past having been her Sensei and knowing her as a child, would she be able to live with that? She spent days quietly thinking about this. Eventually, she decided that she would understand. It would break her heart, and it would take her time—probably a very long time—but she thought she might be able to let go of him too, if that was what he wanted.

And then, as soon as she reached that conclusion, she spiraled. It was bullshit. If he didn't want her, it just might kill her. That was amazingly selfish, she knew. Twelve years was such a long time. But, if she really was going to wake up in the future, it wouldn't have been any time at all for her. She would go from giving birth and being forced to leave them both, straight into another heartbreak.

At least she would have Kazuki. He, she knew, would want her. So long as she was allowed to love her son, Sakura thought she might be able to survive.

Then Kakashi would find her and all thoughts of his possible future rejection would fade beneath his touch. For right now, the little precious time they had left, he loved her. She wouldn't waste it thinking about the future.

KSK

Seven-hundred and thirty days into the past

Pakkun was curled up on what was left of her lap, feigning sleep. After Kakashi kissed her goodbye, off to get them dinner, the pug snuffled and opened his large dark eyes. "Alright girl, out with it."

Startled by his directness and what he'd asked, Sakura huffed a watery laugh. "Have I been that obvious?"

He butted his head gently against her stomach. "You smell too much like sorrow for someone expecting their first pup. He won't be long, so what's wrong, Sakura-chan?"

A single tear slipped free—quickly wiped away—even as she managed another pathetic laugh. "You're supposed to call me Hana, Pakkun."

"Heh. You have me around too much, girl. He calls you Sakura when you're alone. Does that have something to do with why you're so sad?"

This time, her stuttering, breathy laugh turned into a sob. "Oh, Pakkun." Brushing away the rapidly falling tears, Sakura tried to get ahold of herself. "It's a long and unbelievable story. Can you trust me?"

"I could smell a lie on you." He sat up, fully giving her his attention.

"I'm from the future. Twelve years from now, the day after our son graduates from the Academy, I was sent back fourteen years. I don't know how or why. I didn't know Kazuki was my son. I'm only eight right now, but we've already met my parents. They think I'm a cousin…" She paused, wiping her eyes again.

"Kakashi already knows all this?"

She nodded. "Yes. But… in three days our son will be born. I don't know how or why yet, but I'm not going to survive it. I grew up believing Kakashi's wife died giving birth. But now that I'm here, that can't be right." She tapped the seal on her forehead, Pakkun nodded, seeming to understand.

"You think you're going back?"

Shrugging, Sakura stared out the window. "I hope so. My body seems to be failing. It's losing chakra at an astonishing rate and I can't figure out why. I've run every test, nothing's physically wrong with me. I wish I knew for sure… the uncertainty is killing me. Am I actually dying or am I going to wake up in twelve years? If only I could summon…"

Pakkun tipped his head to the side, taking a deep sniff. "Well, you smell off. You have a summons in the future?"

She nodded. "Katsuya."

He made a face. "The slug. Useful though. Have you tried calling her? Contracts are made in blood, I don't know how time could change that."

Not wanting to waste time and deciding to take another summon's advice, Sakura formed the hand signs and bit down on her thumb. In a small, confused puff of smoke, Katsuyu appeared on the other side of her lap.

"Oh. I do not know you, but you summon me."

Pakkun answered for Sakura. "Time travel, Katsuyu. Humans…" He shook his ears. "Always messing with things they shouldn't."

"Hmm. I recognize the seal on your forehead, human." Her eye stalks waved slowly as she seemed to think things over quickly. "I sense urgency. How may I be of assistance."

Relieved she had apparently decided to trust her, Sakura carefully picked her up and sat her atop her belly. "There's something wrong with my body—I'm hemorrhaging chakra and I can't determine a cause. It isn't the pregnancy and there doesn't seem to be anything else wrong with me."

"Hmm. This is not your true body, human. I can see how you would miss something like that."

Astonished, Sakura gaped down at the vaguely glowing slug. "Not my… how can that…"

"A clone. You're familiar with the usual jutsu?"

"Well… of course. But… I've sparred and even fought a bit on missions, and that alone should have ended it. I've been in the past for two years, I'm pregnant, Katsuya! How can that be possible?"

Her eyes waved again, looking her over. "I am unsure. This seems to be a particularly stable clone. Wherever it came from, it would have taken nearly all of your chakra. I would imagine your true body to be in some kind of comatose state from the drain." She sighed. "Whatever the case, it's beginning to fail. I'd say you have days left. Have you made arrangements for the baby?"

Numb, she nodded. "I… his father… A clone?" Thoughts, rapid and confused, filtered through her still reeling mind. What did they mean? How could a clone create life? Was her real body still in the future, waiting for this body to fail to wake? Kakashi. Everything they'd shared, was it real even if her body wasn't?

A swift kick just under her ribs broke her from her spiral, reminding her where she was. Yes. Of course it was real. Their son was proof enough of that. Suddenly resolved, Sakura thanked her summons and dismissed her.

"Pakkun?"

He blinked up at her. "Yes, girl?"

"I need you to do something for me. I think… I'm choosing to believe that this means I'm going back. I'll wake up and the time will have passed in a blink. But Kakashi…" Swallowing, she pushed past the tightness in her throat and the agony in her chest. "He's going to have to live those years. He is going to need help. He's going to be so… Kami, it isn't fair, Pakkun."

Sadness in his big, dark eyes, Pakkun put a paw on her hand where it covered her stomach. "It never is."

"Will you…" She sniffed hard, ignoring the tears that never seemed to have stopped. "I need you to look after him, Pakkun. Make sure he isn't reckless, make sure he takes care of himself. And our son… look after him too? Please?"

"Of course, Sakura. I've been looking after that boy since he was a pup. You don't have to worry about that." He licked her hand, resting his head on her stomach. "I'll look after your pup too. We all will."

Sighing, relieved, Sakura sank back against the couch. "And if he wants to let me go, let our love go, tell him it's okay. If I come back to the future and he doesn't love me, want me anymore… as long as he lets me love my son, I think I can survive it."

Pakkun made a sound that might have been a laugh at that. "That boy doesn't love easy, girl. His heart belongs to you… I don't think he'll ever take it back."

"Twelve years is a long time, Pakkun."

He snuffled. "And in your future, did he ever remarry? Was there ever anyone else?"

Sakura sighed, exhausted. "No, not as far as I know, but that's not really what I mean. He's going to be fourteen years older than me, Pakkun. He'll have been my sensei, watched me grow up from an eight-year-old little girl. He might not want me the same way anymore."

Pakkun snuffled. "Give him more credit, girl. Kakashi's heart belongs to you, I'm sure he's capable of separating a giggling little girl from the woman he married. As for the age difference…" He made another laughing noise. "Humans are just like other animals. Most males would prefer a younger female if given the choice. I'm sure you being twenty again won't be an issue for him." Sakura scoffed as he gave her a look that was definitely a canine smirk. "Besides, thirty-four ain't that old. I sired my third litter of pups when I was so young."

Sakura didn't have anything to say to that. Staring out the window and stroking his head, she hoped he was right.

In her lap, Pakkun yawned. "You spend a lot of time with him in the future?"

"A good amount, yeah."

"And how did he treat you? Most recently, not when you were a girl."

"Well, he was increasingly distant in the months before I came back. That was new, but the last night…" Suddenly she couldn't breathe. It looked like he couldn't either. He reached out like he wanted to touch her face. It was a gesture she was now achingly familiar with. How he'd run his fingers through her hair and caress her cheek before leaning down to kiss her. She could see it now, the desire, the ache to kiss her like he'd done countless times before. A habit as easy to fall back into as breathing. There in his eyes, the way he'd looked at her that night… She hadn't understood it then, but she knew now what it meant.

'I love you, still… always.'