Disclaimer: This story is all fiction. There is no attempt to damage or profit from the image of the people mentioned. This story is solely for the reader's entertainment.

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Keep me busy.

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"Are you sure?"

Junho nodded, as firmly as he intended.

His agent, who had inquired about the proposal to participate in the program as MC, was staring at him and seemed to want to say something else, but they were not alone – the rest of his team was in the same van, so he did not meddle in the subject.

"Well, that's a pity, it's true, but you have other commitments. You need to rest," his agent encouraged him, as he picked up his phone to call and give his answer. "Your cold hasn't gone away yet, and you still have other dates to attend to, in addition to the promotional for the brand. You must be in good condition..."

As he continued to remind him of the other activities he needed to do, Junho remained quiet most of the time, nodding from time to time and responding when they called him directly, but his mind was slowly turning to another thought.

He wasn't feeling quite right, and he wanted to chalk it up to his tiredness, but it wasn't working the way he wanted it to. The drive from home to the airport wasn't that long, but it felt heavy.

"Are they avoiding each other?"

"Shh, someone can hear you."

"But I'm not the one saying it, look."

"You know you shouldn't pay attention to what they say on the internet.

"But sunbenim, it's not a rumor. Why else would he decline his participation? It was something that had already been negotiated for months. They were so close and now they don't interact anymore, then it's because Junho-ssi doesn't want to be near her."

"You're not with him all the time to say for sure. Stop that mouth of yours, or I'll do it. The last thing Junho-ssi needs is that kind of comment hanging around from his staff."

"I'm just worried..."

"..."

His hand seemed to be frozen on the doorknob of the door he was about to open, being stopped by the comments that now were turning into murmurs. Junho couldn't help but listen, and it wasn't intentional, nor did he want to hear gossip, but a moment of distraction turned into the inability to open the door and walk out. He recognized the voices, the dressing assistants. He made a mental note to control his reactions to them and to keep his distance.

And though he wouldn't confront them, as it was ridiculous that he would do so just because of nonsense, there was one comment that bothered him: not only did outsiders think that he had declined his participation in the show because he avoided Yoona, but his own people had come to that conclusion. From the outside eyes, Junho was intentionally avoiding any contact with the woman.

It's not like that, he thought, simply... It's the best thing for both of us.

He knew people would talk, and if he was someone weak who couldn't handle the comments, the pressure, and the constant surveillance, he would have long ago quit his career. But to be honest, the pressure that his good work with Yoona was due to personal reasons bothered him. Not only did they put his professionalism on trial, but they also tarnished Yoona's image. The initial plan was, as always, to ignore the comments and deny the rumors, because he knew that time would help everyone forget about it... But it didn't. Wherever he searched for his name, rumors of a relationship with his friend appeared, even the media was so interested if it was true, that he was surprised there were no paparazzi after him. Even in his presentations, he had to control his reactions even more, such as the meeting he had just had, once again he was presented with the image of her friend on a huge screen, projecting a video clip of his latest drama, and in that, like all the previous ones, Yoona was in it.

He was very grateful and very sincere for all the love that was given to him, as well as the good reception of his last acting work, but he felt confusion and pressure.

Because of that, he looked at his phone, the conversation with Yoona, and his inability to send the message he had written –just like the others before it, and that ended up being deleted. Junho stared and overthought "Was that message too simple? Would she think he was being too harsh?" The ideal thing to do was to call her, but in Korea, it was early in the morning, and she might be sleeping, and he knew how much she needed to rest. He sighed, pondering when it became so difficult to communicate with her.

He just wanted to keep at bay the incessant pairing that the fans and the media made of the two of them. Junho preferred to keep his private life out of the spotlight, but Yoona had been a friend for a very long time and their closeness increased in the last couple of years, but why was he overthinking this? Something that should have been as simple as allowing time to pass so everything would go back to normal, now seemed to consume his peace and squeeze his throat.

"Oppa"

"Ah!"

If his reaction was more vocal than he would have liked, it didn't matter at the time because as he struggled to understand what was going on inside him, his phone lit up at the notification of a new message, and Yoona's name was on it. He watched for what he thought was a moment -but before he knew it, more than a few minutes had passed and another message appeared.

"I found out you won't be participating this year. I hear you've gotten sick; I hope it's nothing serious and you recover quickly," was on the screen.

It took him a few more moments to realize that the messages were marked as read. He had a surprising amount of worry and anxiety, and before he considered what he was going to do, he already had the phone glued to his ear waiting behind the line.

"Oppa?"

"Ah, Yoona-ssi..." His voice seemed to choke for a moment that the formality of his call seemed odd.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, ah, about your message, I thought to answer..." She, polite as always, was patient as he tried to get a grip of coherence. It was impulsive to call her without even thinking about what he would say. "I just wanted to say... Thank you."

He could hear a soft, faint laugh. He felt relaxed when he could make out the smile in her voice.

"You must be very tired. It's overwhelming to have so many commitments in such a short amount of time." She said.

He nodded, even though she couldn't see him, so he tried to vocalize more.

"It's been heavier than I expected. It's been incredible, though. It's exhausting, but it's worth it. Some of it feels like a vacation..."

"Oh? I envy you. Please eat lots of delicious things."

Behind her words, there was such a noticeable warmth and affection that Junho doubted again. And once more, he was confused by her.

"To tell you the truth," he slurred, feeling he had to excuse himself somehow, "I was about to write to you when I got your message."

"Really?" Yoona laughed, and Junho couldn't help but smile at himself, partly embarrassed, partly delighted with her.

"Yes, uh, actually I tried it other times before, but... I am sorry."

"Oh," she seemed to understand his intention to communicate, but his decision not to. Was she disappointed? If so, Yoona didn't show it.

"Yoona..."

"Oppa," she interrupted, "don't worry. You've been so busy, you have important things to do. I understand, and that's okay."

There was no remark or reproach in her words, and that should make him feel better, but it was also the understanding and selflessness of her that made Junho hesitate.

That was the beginning of the dilemma, wasn't it? His insecurity in determining how Yoona felt, and therefore Junho's indecisiveness.

"The truth is… I don't-" He hesitated. It didn't feel right to tell her that on the phone even though she was attentive. If I wanted to be honest, that wasn't the way. Yoona was patient, and Junho thanked her for that. "It's too late. I shouldn't have called you without asking first."

"It's okay," her tone didn't seem to change, the kindness continued. Junho wished he could see her face and know if he could provoke anything but sympathy in her.

"... Yoona ssi? Congratulations on your ninth year in a row as MC."

"Ah," she laughed. Humbly, she thanked him, "It would have been great if you were with me, but you deserve to rest. I will do my best, so please keep supporting me."

"Of course," there was a smile on his face, but an uneasy feeling was filling him as the call finished.

It was just absurd how it seemed that everyone had realized his true feelings for her before he could even accept them or be able to deal with them. Now, even in front of her, he had to suppress them, unable to approach Yoona properly and know if it was mutual.

As much as he didn't want to get any idea of how she might feel about him, or whether he should feel anything more than friendship for her or put those feelings aside, Junho seemed to walk in circles without finding a way out. Yoona was always very vocal and expressive in her thoughts, but when it came to romantic relationships, Junho didn't think he knew her well.

There were signs that she was interested in him, or so he thought, but he wasn't sure. Likewise, he didn't feel confident asking her directly which created an awkward atmosphere between them. It was already difficult for him to keep himself at bay so that he did not overwhelm her with his need for closeness, nor to push her away for good if he made a mistake and it turned out that she did not see Junho in the same way he wanted.

For Juhno, his longing was torn against fear, and he just didn't know what to do.

New Year's Eve was just around the corner. He was finally done with his travels and fan meetings and the long-awaited break began. He had arrived the day before and slept until that moment, barely recovering from the flu that was too insistent. As much as he tried to take care of himself and stay healthy, it was exhausting to travel so often and keep up the brisk pace at each event. Outside of his physical state, it was his mind that now consumed him. Without a hectic schedule and with the next few days off, what he had been running away from was still strongly present, and it didn't leave him alone.

Junho was staring at the space in front of him, but thinking, thinking, and thinking... what should he do? What was the right step to take?

Since his impromptu call with Yoona several days ago, communication between them was re-established, and with that, his mood improved significantly, and it was noticeable. He heard some other whispers from his staff, but just like before, he ignored them. It was his manager who, realizing it, reprimanded them. Junho, on the other hand, was busier keeping those emotions under control, which just wouldn't subside.

He felt like a naïve boy, but he couldn't help the feeling of bubbling up inside him, which, instead of discomfort, spurred on a kind of tranquility and joy. It was the same as months ago, when they shared activities and schedules, in addition to the communication that became constant, the one they had cut off after the beginning of those rumors between them. Thinking about that erased the smile he didn't know was showing.

He scratched his cheek, complicated thoughts returning. He threw his head back, leaning back against the back of his couch. He exhaled and considered with more calmness and a cool head everything he had experienced during that year. He knew what he was doing, also knew what he wanted, and most of all who he wanted, but... That was the most complicated thing.

Although the simplest answer was to keep his distance from Yoona and focus on his work -keeping himself busy would make him stop thinking about her and what could have been... but then, why did he feel his chest tightening?

The end-of-year music program had begun and without being able to avoid it, his eyes were fixed on her, on every shot where the camera focused on her. Dressed as pretty, as elegant, smiling softly and professionally. It was strange, to be a distant spectator again, with the screen between them, when before he had been by her side, causing many of her laughs and watching his eyes shine with sweetness and admiration as she called to him.

"What am I doing?" He said to himself, exasperated. Junho felt like he was losing his sanity.

He was greedy because he wanted it all: his career, his privacy, and Yoona. But he knew it wasn't that simple.

If he had to give away one of them, which would it be?

She was walking down the hallway, thanking, and wishing colleagues and staff a good New Year greeting, smiling with excitement, and hurriedly walking along. In one hand she carried her phone, and in the other insisted on keeping her coat closed. She was still wearing her makeup, but fortunately, her wardrobe was already the comfortable clothes she had arrived at the station in. She followed her assistant, half distracted by what the rest of the staff behind her were talking about. It wasn't until she was inside the van and out of the camera's attention that she revisited his last conversation.

I want to talk to you.

A call?

In person. Can it be after your itinerary?

Sure

Now that she was going home, Yoona allowed herself to think about Junho's strange exchange and request. When she received and responded to the messages, she was on the first break, practically changing clothes for the next segment. She was so surrounded by people and her own camera that she couldn't let her confusion show.

He wants us to see each other, right at that moment... It must have been very important that he couldn't wait.

Yoona contemplated the possible reasons for this unexpected and urgent visit. It must have been something important for Junho to ask to see her at that moment because he wasn't someone to take the time of others without consideration.

When they arrived at the building and drove into the parking lot, Yoona turned to her staff, who were about to get out of the van before her. It was normal for them to accompany Yoona until she was inside her apartment, but at the time she wasn't sure it was a good idea.

"Thank you so much for your work today," she was already outside, barely holding her bags, her coat, and her phone waiting for a call, making a gesture of farewell with her busy hands, ready to make her way to the entrance.

"Yoona-ssi? Don't you want help with that?"

"It's okay, I can handle this, it's just a few things." It was more than one, but no one corrected her. Her manager and assistant looked confused, the bodyguard on the other hand was already out. Yoona looked at him with a smile, but she was somewhat tense. How could she refuse without it being completely strange?

"I'll be fine, you can go."

They weren't that far from the elevator, but anything could happen, and they weren't going to allow even the slightest chance, she knew. Ideally, Yoona should tell them she had a visitor, but again, it would be strange if she didn't say who. However, she didn't know how to explain the situation by saying that it was Junho, because of all that it entails. Even she was not aware of the situation.

It looks like you're doing something wrong, she reprimanded herself. It shouldn't be a problem if her staff knew about the meeting, after all, it wasn't a bad thing or a secret, was it? But she didn't want any misconceptions or rumors, and she knew that Junho wasn't a fan of that either. She wanted to avoid explaining why she was meeting him just that day at such an indecent hour.

"I'll be fine, go rest, I'll come in right away."

"Yoona-ssi".

She almost flinched at the call that interrupted the silent parking lot. She quickly turned to look, and Junho was getting closer to where they were. Amazed, she called his name and walked a few steps toward him.

"What time did you arrive? Have you been waiting a long time?" She questioned, worried about his well-being, forgetting that they were not alone.

"Not long ago. Ah, good night," Junho greeted the people behind Yoona, reminding her where and with whom she was.

Yoona looked up at the van, where four people were staring at them in amazement. She could see in their faces many questions were formed, and they were all addressed to her, and a single answer settled in them.

Ah, so you'd see him, that's why you wanted to be alone... she could almost hear her manager, her quiet voice but the gesture on her face was so loud. Yoona felt embarrassed.

It's not... Well, technically it is, but not in the way you think. Yoona wanted to explain, but she knew it would be embarrassing to do so in front of Junho.

"I have… I have a prior engagement," she excused herself weakly, avoiding their faces. She could feel their gazes staring at her. This was something she wanted to avoid.

"Is that so? Well, have fun," her manager said in a humorous voice.

"Have a nice year," her assistant could barely hide the excitement in her voice. Yoona wanted to throw the "it's not like that!" tantrum.

"Thank you for your work. Rest and have a good year," Junho said goodbye, bowing briefly. Yoona imitated him and only saw how her staff looked at them with mixed emotions.

"Let me help you." Junho took the large bag from her hand and waited for her to lead the way. Yoona didn't know why, but the whole situation made her feel self-conscious. They made their way to the elevator, and before the doors closed, she could see her assistant give her thumbs up with a big smile.

"Oh, God," Yoona leaned against the wall, feeling exhausted.

"What's wrong?"

She shook her head, even explaining to him sounded exhausting. Whatever, in a few days she would see them and clear up all the misunderstandings, so it would be better not to think about it.

"I apologize," Junho said after a few moments of silence, surprising Yoona with an unexpected apology.

"Huh? Why?"

"I know you're tired after your work, and I still asked you for this. I should have waited. I'm also sorry to ambush you like that and interrupt you. I was too impatient."

She sighed. "It is fine. This is more important."

Then, Yoona remembered the reason for all this. Pulling away from the wall, she looked closely at Junho. Before, she had been so surprised that she hadn't paid so much attention to him, but now… he looked conflicted. Seeing that he didn't speak, Yoona assumed that once inside, he would tell her about the situation that couldn't wait.

They reached the floor, she grabbed the handle and with the sound of access, the door opened.

"Please come in. You can leave that there," she pointed to the cabinet in the entryway once she turned on the rest of the lights. They both took off their shoes and as Junho watched the place, Yoona took off her scarf.

"Would you like a drink?" Yoona offered like a good hostess -and because the atmosphere became a little strange.

It was the first time Junho had been in her apartment and the first time they had both been alone at such an hour. It was the first time in several months that they had seen each other. Too aware of everything, Yoona didn't know what to do or say that wouldn't show the growing anxiety in her.

"I'm fine, thank you."

She nodded but walked over to the kitchen and poured herself some water. She wasn't very thirsty, but she needed time, and it seemed that Junho needed it too. She watched him from her place, tentatively.

"It's been a long time since we've finished work together," he finally spoke. Yoona nodded, accepting his words. "We got very close during that time, but then... I've been busy, and so have you. Also, things got a little awkward because of the rumors."

Oh, so that was the reason? Yoona had assumed that Junho had drifted away from the growing attention of their work and closeness. She didn't blame him, on the contrary, she understood him. She was in an awkward position, and she was limited to expressing herself. She accepted his actions, for it was what it should be.

"Even now, it's pretty annoying."

Yoona looked at him, surprised, and honestly, a little offended. Junho looked irritated by the rumors, so he had to endure, but Yoona felt a hit to her ego, was it so bad that people believed that there was something other than friendship between them? Why be so sensitive, if that thought would dissipate over time, like any other?

"I'm sorry you have to put up with something so annoying," she offered, trying not to look so upset.

At her reaction, Junho sighed in frustration. Yoona couldn't believe he was coming to her home after such a tiring day at work, just to say that. When he called her, she had noticed the disturbance in his voice, though she hadn't pointed it out. That's why she agreed to meet, believing that she could help him with what was troubling him.

"You're misunderstanding," Junho walked over to her, trying to calm the mood. She looked at him skeptically, yet she allowed him to continue. "No, I'm sorry. I'm the one who's not explaining it correctly… you see during these months, I had not been able to understand the frustration and annoyance at the rumors, comments, and expectations that seem to drown me..."

"Oppa…" Yoona wanted to get closer, but couldn't, stopping on the spot. All of this, what she had let go, was really affecting Junho more than she thought. She felt guilty.

"But today I recognized why," Junho looked into her eyes, wanting to know how she would react to the following: "I was frustrated that everyone saw right through me before I accepted how I feel about you."

Junho felt his breath hold in anticipation. He watched as the understanding of his words reached Yoona, and how she reacted to them. Her solemn face changed to confusion, turning to astonishment and finally to bewilderment. She opened and closed her mouth, wanting to speak, but not finding the words, her eyes fixed on his face, who looked at her expectantly.

The atmosphere was tense, and the silence only added to Junho's anxiety. He almost regretted his words, maybe he had gone that far. However, not to have done so would have been a remorse from which he might never be free.

"You mean -to me, are you really interested in me? More than as a friend...?" Yoona was seldom speechless, and at that moment with her rosiest cheeks, the nervousness in her words, and the unusual anticipation in her voice, her reaction brought him an unexpected sense of hope.

Moderating his voice, trying to contain his emotions one last time, and spurred on by the adrenaline rush that filled him, Junho decided to finish off with the question that would change everything.

"It's important to me that you tell me how you feel, that you tell me if it's my imagination or if it's real..." he observed her face. Her eyes were fixed on him and with all the honesty and courage Junho said, "All this time, even now, this love is something I can't ignore anymore. So, tell me, do you feel the same as I do?

He said it. What his actions demonstrated, and what he feared to put into words. They both felt something, but was it the same? If Junho fought against it, what about her?

"... I didn't think you felt that way," she mumbled, unable to hold her gaze.

Honestly, Yoona hadn't been sure that Junho was interested in her, after all, all the men she knew used to tell her that she was their ideal type, but few really came close. Yoona understood that men saw her more like platonic love and not as a true companion. She became accustomed to not being deluded by the words or actions of men. It was the same with Junho, but unlike before, those feelings that bubbled up months ago that Yoona couldn't get rid of.

If you are sincere, then is it okay to feel that way too?

She didn't know how long she'd spent trying to finish her answer, but slowly a sense of joy was pressing down on her chest, trying to hold back a smile.

"If I tell you I feel the same way you do, then what will happen? Can I love you freely?"

With bright eyes, a shy smile, and all the expectations on her, Junho stopped breathing for an instant. Believing himself trapped in a dream: in front of him, Yoona looked so pretty with her makeup and hairstyle still intact, she looked like a porcelain doll saying the words he had longed for the most.

"Oppa?" She called him, with an amused smile and her hand extended to his face.

It wasn't until she called him that Junho understood it was real. That his words were accepted. That their feelings were mutual.

Immediately, Junho exhaled as if he had run for miles.

"Are you okay?"

He shook his head briefly. It was as if all the adrenaline and anxiety he had built up evaporated, leaving him tired. But on the contrary, he looked up and smiled with such happiness, that it left Yoona speechless for a moment.

"I feel very happy," he said with such sincerity. Then, he walked over to her, taking her arm and asking for permission with his eyes glowing with emotion. Still stunned, she nodded, and he put his arms around her. Junho sighed with such relief and bliss.

Although they had shared physical contact many times before, this time was different. There were no spectators, there was no "right pose", it was not work, just mere excitement and the need to touch the loved one. The warmth they felt could be accepted rather than ignored.

"I should have told you sooner," he spoke against her hair, engraving into his memory every essence and sensation of his body in contact with hers, as intimately as that embrace was.

She chuckled under her breath. "Yes, you should have. But I forgive you because you came all the way here."

Junho laughed joyfully, feeling his chest fill with such delight, that nothing could change it. He withdrew his arms from her, looking at her intently, feeling mesmerized by the lovely woman in front of him. He took her face in his hands, freely admiring her beauty. Yoona looked at him with such affection that it made him embarrassed, and her smile stole his breath. Thus, Junho leaned over to her and touched her lips to his. The kiss was faint, more like a brief touch, but he felt her smile against his mouth and soon imitated her act. Small, brief kisses were shared between words of affection.

"We won't be able to see each other very often."

"I know," Yoona showed off a small pout that Junho wiped away with another kiss. "But we'll be fine, I'm sure."

"I tried for a long time to ignore my feelings and they never subsided. Now that I've got you like this, there's no way I'm going to let you go."

With all sincerity in his voice, Junho promised Yoona. And she accepted his words, knowing that she would strive for this new relationship as well.