**This story contains some triggering content. Reader discretion is advised.**

Chapter 1

I let the box of groceries practically fall out of my arms and onto the table as I let out an audible sigh. The weight of the world feels like it's on my shoulders and the burden of anything else feels unbearable. I hear the landline ring incessantly, ignoring it as I sit down at the table and put my head in my hands. I literally don't have the mental energy to answer the phone right now. The phone finally stops ringing before a beep rings out and a voice comes across the answering machine, "Hey Little Moose, I called you a few days ago and you never called me back so I wanted to check in again and make sure you were okay and if you wanted to come to dinner Friday night? I'm making your favorite. Call me back when you can, I miss hearing your voice. Love you." The machine beeps a final time and the house fills with silence once again.

I shake my head, "Why do I feel such dread calling him back?" I say aloud. "He's my uncle, the man who raised me. He helped me with my anxiety…why is this so much different?" I glance up at the pictures on the walls as my mind's eye flashes to that fateful night.

"I'm not going to hurt you!"

"AAAHHH!"

"Alyson…this…isn't…what…"

SPLASH!

I shake myself out of the chair as I try to break myself free from the vision. I gasp for air as my chest tightens and I curl into a ball on the floor. "I ruined everything…I killed her…I got my brother sent away and blamed by the whole town…but it was me. He got sent way and all the help he needed to move past it while I'm stuck here living in our old home trapped in the memories of what really happened. I can't reach out to anyone and expose our lie…or that I'm a murderer." I manage to sit up and wipe my face as I glance at the refrigerator and the picture of Michael, Tyler, and I from their New Year's party. "Why am I resenting him? He just tried to protect me. And he wouldn't have had to if it weren't for what I did." I glance over at the cabinets and my eyes land on the knife drawer. Slowly, I begin to slide my way over to it.

Michael is going to be so mad at the amount of junk food I bought, I think to myself as I slow down the car to turn onto the road our apartment is on. But if he wants less junk food, he should consider getting the groceries himself! I chuckle to myself a little bit as my phone lights up on the dashboard and starts ringing. I glance at the caller ID, "Why is Eddy calling me?" I roll my eyes as I answer the phone, "Hello?"

"Hey Tyler," Eddy answers. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," I say rather bluntly. "What's going on? Am I in trouble?"

"No, you're not in trouble, son," he answers. His voice sounds concerned and I sit up. I hear a sigh from the other end and he says, "When's the last time you heard from Alyson?"

My stomach drops. "I texted her this morning I thought," I say as I pull my phone away from my ear. I pull up the text conversation with my sister and see nothing but blue messages…none from her since last week. "She…she hasn't responded to me since last week. Is something wrong?"

"I tried calling her earlier this week and never got a call back," Eddy says. "I called her earlier today too and it went to voicemail. I'm getting worried…I know everything with that article shook her up and I tried to convince her to move out of your mother's house but she shut me down."

"I was really worried about it too," I say, concern rising in my voice. "She took that whole week of us trying to find answers and clean it out so hard that I was shocked when she said she wanted to stay and not go to Juneau in the first place…and even more so now. I tried talking her into staying with me and Michael for a little while but you know Alyson." I start to chuckle but the sinking feeling in my gut won't let me.

"Do you think Michael has heard from her?" Eddy asks. "I know she would sometimes be more willing to talk to him than she would be with me."

"Maybe," I say, numbly as I try to keep my mind from wondering to the worst-case scenarios, "I'm driving home from the store now but I will ask him when I get home and if he hasn't heard from her, I'll try giving her a call."

"Alright, keep me posted, will you?"

"I will for sure."

"Thank you, son."

"Of course, she's my sister. Thank you for calling me."

"No problem. Talk to you soon." The phone clicks as I set the phone back on the dashboard. How did I miss this? I think to myself. How have I gotten so wrapped up in my life that I didn't notice not hearing from my sister in over a week? I grip the wheel tighter as I press a little harder on the gas. I whip into a parking spot and rush to the door. I test the handle and, as usual, it's unlocked. I'll have to lecture Michael on that later.

"Hey, Ty," Michael says as I walk in the door, "did you get everything we need for dinner tonight?"

I slam the box of groceries on the counter and ask, "Have you heard from Alyson recently?"

Michael shakes his head, "I texted her when I got up this morning and never got a response. She hasn't texted me as much recently but I just figured she's been busy with the house." My stomach drops and I feel the color drain from my face. Michael furrows his brow, "Why, what's going on?"

"Eddy called me on the way home," I answer. "He said he had called Alyson twice this week and she's yet to answer or call him back. I've texted her multiple times this week without a response. I haven't heard from her since last week."

Michael's eyes widen, "I know she hasn't been herself since everything went down with Tom. You don't think…"

"I'm calling her right now," I say as I dial her number and hold the phone up to my ear. Please pick up.

I let a moan escape my throat as I drop the knife in the sink and stare at my handiwork. It's not the first time I've carved something besides wood. I let my arm flop down as blood trickles from it. I close my eyes and let the pain ebb out just a little. A buzz jolts me back to reality and I grab my phone. "Tyler," I whisper to myself with a sigh. My hand flinches and my finger taps the answer button before I can put the phone back down. No backing out now, I think to myself as I pull the phone up to my ear. "Hello?"

"Aly?!" Tyler almost yells. "It's me."

"Hey," I answer, sounding more exhausted than I mean to.

"Are you okay?" Tyler asks in a concerned tone. "No one's heard from you in like a week."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lie, staring at my crimson arm. "I've just had a lot going on."

"Working on the house?" Tyler asks, concern still present in his voice.

"Sure," I answer, trying to wind down this conversation and hang up.

There's a pause on the other end before Tyler says, "Aly, what's going on? You don't sound like yourself and you have ignored me and Eddy and Michael. It's not like you…I'm worried."

I shake my head, ignoring the tears pricking the back of my eyes. "I'm fine, Ty," I say in a strained voice. "I just wanted some time alone to think for a while is all. Don't worry about me. I just need to be left alone." A tear rolls down my cheek. My heart aches at the thought of pushing my brother away but my mind convinces myself that it's for his own good. You've ruined his life enough…Eddy's too. And Michael has Tyler. They're fine without me.

"Aly," Tyler says with a shaky voice, "talk to me, sis. I don't think isolating yourself is a good thing. You've got three people who are worried about you and love you and don't want to see you struggling if we can help. Just talk to us…please."

"I can't Tyler," I say, allowing the numbness to set in. "I'm tired and I can't do it. I'm sorry. I'm done." I hang up the phone and let it fall out of my hand and clatter on the floor. The throb of guilt comes back and rips at my chest. I clutch my knees to my chest and bury my face and sob.

I stare at my phone in disbelief. "She hung up on me," I mutter.

"What?" Michael says as he walks over. "How did she seem?"

"Not good at all," I say, my body literally quivering. "She sounded numb and distant and she said she needed to be left alone and when I asked her to talk to me, she said that she can't and that she was done." I sit up straight and grab my keys, "I'm going over there."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Michael asks. "Maybe I could help talk to her?"

I shake my head, "She's isolating herself. I don't think bringing a bunch of people in would be a good idea."

"Fair enough," Michael says. "Just be gentle with her. Whatever is happening in her mind is hurting her. Don't do anything that's going to make her feel worse."

"I won't," I say. I let out a sigh, "I'm just terrified of what I'm going to find."

"Don't go to worst case scenario," Michael says. "We're hopefully catching this in time. Keep me posted please." I nod as I open the door. "Don't kill yourself getting there. I love you," he calls out.

"I love you, too," I say as I shut the door and bolt to my car. I drive furiously as I drive towards the ferry. It takes me way too long to get to her, I think to myself. Maybe we ought to move closer to her. As I reach the ferry and park the car on it, I let my thoughts wonder as I sit in my car. "How long has this been going on? Aaron always said that things like this normally fester long before anyone sees them…has she been hurting like this for a while? How could I have missed it?" I rest my forehead on my steering wheel. Just don't let me be too late. I call out to her with our Voice, "Aly, are you there? Can you hear me?" Silence is all that greets me in return and my heart sinks even lower.

The ferry finally docks and I practically floor it to Alyson's house. As I pull up, I glance around at the property. Everything is the same, I think to myself as I park my car next to Alyson's. I dart up the stairs and breathe a sigh of relief when the door is unlocked. "Aly?" I call out as I look into her bedroom. No sign of her. I walk towards the living room and scan the area. I turn to walk toward the kitchen and freeze. First thing my brain registers is Alyson on the floor. Next thing it registers is the blood on the floor beside her. No, no, no! I rush to her and nudge her, "Aly? Alyson wake up!" I shake her again, my heart pounding in my chest. I hear a slight moan as Alyson's eyebrows furrow and she blinks her eyes open.

She looks up at me confused. "Tyler?" she mutters, clearly still groggy.

"Oh, thank God," I say as I pull her into my arms. "You gave me a heart attack when I saw you on the floor. I thought you were dead."

"Could have saved yourself the heart attack if you'd leave me alone like I asked," she almost growls in response as she pushes herself away and leans against the cabinet. She pulls her knees close and looks down.

"You already gave me one when you told me you were done and hung up on me," I say, trying to keep my voice calm. I glance down and notice her forearm covered in deep slices. My eyes land again at the blood on the floor. "What happened to your arm?" I ask gently.

"It's nothing," Alyson replies numbly, refusing to look up at me.

"It's hardly nothing," I say. "There is blood all over your arm and the floor. They look deep, they need to be taken care of."

"When I said it was nothing, I thought it was a nicer way of saying 'it's none of your damn business'!" Alyson says with venom dripping from her voice. She finally looks up at me, her eyes bright red and tears trickling down her face.

My heart throbs. "Aly, I just want to help. I've never seen you hurting like this."

"Maybe because you weren't here for ten years," Alyson says looking away. "I meant it when I said it was none of your business. Just leave me alone. I can deal with this on my own like I always have."

I frown standing up, going to find something to wrap her arm with. I rummage through the medicine cabinet in the bathroom before finding some bandages and antiseptic. As I walk back into the kitchen, something in the sink catches my eye: a knife covered in blood. I look back down at my twin, "You cut yourself, didn't you?"

"Tyler, please," Alyson cries, "stay out of this."

"How do you expect me to do that?" I shout. "You isolate yourself, hang up on me after telling me you're done; with what I don't know. I come here and find you on the floor bleeding, God Aly, I'm terrified you're going to kill yourself!"

Silence fills the room for a moment. I wipe at tears that had trickled down my face and settled in my stubble. "I wasn't going to kill myself," Alyson finally says. She pauses before saying, "But I thought about it."

My heart sinks as I sit back on the floor and put a hand on her shoulder. "Alyson," I pause, my chest tightening, "I can't lose you. I need you. I mean Eddy and Michael do too but I need you. I…I've never lived a moment where you didn't exist. I don't think I can survive without you."

"I don't want to hurt you," Alyson says with desperation in her voice. "But I can't escape the nightmares and the guilt that our mother and this town brings. And maybe this is what I deserve for what I did but I can't take it anymore. I can't live feeling like this. I need out of Delos and I'm starting to not care how." I sit there shocked for a moment before wrapping my arms around her and letting her sob.

After a few moments, I take her arm and clean out her cuts, her hand grabbing my thigh in a vice. "I'm sorry, I know it's got to hurt," I whisper as I lather her arm in ointment and wrap it. I tape the bandage down to hold it secure and hug her again, letting the weight of the past few minutes out in a sigh as a few tears trickle down my face. "I love you Aly, you know that?" I ask gently. She nods and I rest my head on top of hers for a moment. I finally let out a sigh and say, "I think it's time we made some phone calls."

Alyson pulls away and shakes her head, "You can't commit me. I won't survive there…it'll kill me."

"Hey, hey," I put my hands on her shoulders, "I wasn't talking about that."

"Then what were you talking about?" Alyson says, visibly confused.

I give her a small smile. "I think we need to call a couple cousins of ours."