After a long time I'm back to writing! This fic is a sort of care project for myself to slowly get me back to writing after having a serious writer's block for nearly a year. I promised myself that yes, I can overcomplicate the universe of this (as it is so common with my other fanfics), buuuut this one I will have to finish and update regularly.

When Scara showed up merely 50 pulls after Nahida, I knew it was a sign and before I knew it, the ideas was rushing in and all became this little project. By far, Scaramouche is one of my favorite characters and his story was beyond amazing, so I think he deserves some fluff with the best adoptive mom! I swear I was willing to lose my F2P status for him and then he showed up so darn early! Celestia really wanted me to have this child and I will do my best to take care of him! He really reminds me of Yuri from Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC V so writing him was that more enjoyable. I might be slightly late, but somewhere in this world, this was posted on 3rd January so it technically still counts as his birthday gift!

I hope you like this little story! Also please read the tags carefully since it does have some heavy topics and in case you know my previous hurt/comfort fics, you probably know what you're getting yourself into. The story deals with child abuse, neglect, night terrors, vommiting, panic attacks, references PTSD, self harm, suicide and depression!

Chapter One: To call a place home

"Make yourself at home!"

Despite the cheerful welcome, the hallway was met with silence apart from quiet steps and barely audible sighs. Even though she wasn't expecting much, the complete ignoration slightly pulled at her heartstrings.

A child, no older than twelve, or perhaps even younger compared to how small and skinny he looked, took off his shoes in silence without even glancing at the apartment. A tiny bag with little to no belongings was still on his back and he didn't bother to remove the sunhat. Thinking he needed some time to adapt to a new environment, Nahida decided to do a tour later and showed him to his room. The boy didn't say anything and just followed her steps until arriving at the door at the end of the hallway.

"I hope you don't mind the furnishing! I'm not exactly sure what kids are into these days, but we can change it later if you want!"

For the first time the kid actually looked up since even the soft flooring in bright green and flower pattern made him interested in the rest. The bed was practically hidden by a huge number of pillows and plushies shaped like… mushrooms? Or was it cartoon characters? He wouldn't know, he rarely watched tv at the previous group home since the recreational room was always crowded. The pillows half crept him out, half looked silly in their vibrant colors, but also made it look like a big nest instead of bed. There was also a desk with only a pack of crayons and coloring books, a wardrobe, a small bookcase with a big pink bean bag next to it that also looked like a cartoon character and a big window.

"I got you some clothes if you want to change. I more or less guessed the size so let me know if they fit you. We can also go shopping for more if there is anything particular you like."

Again no reply, just a barely noticeable nod.

"There is also a bathroom across the hall with fresh towels if you want to freshen up. Just keep it mind the water needs a while to heat up." Nahida continued as the kid put the bag on the desk "Is there anything you need?"

"No."

First sentence he said ever since he got into the car before a two hour long journey. Even though Nahida would excitedly point at monuments and places, he rarely looked up or expressed any sort of interest. It didn't seem like he was annoyed, just very exhausted. The journey and new place to live certainly drained him, so his passive state made sense.

"I'll make some dinner in about two hours, but I have some snacks and juice ready if you're already hungry."

Another practically invincible nod.

"Alright, I'll do some work in the living room until dinnertime, but you can freely let me know if you have any more questions!"

Another wave of silence as reply so she just closed the door and headed up the hallway. Her office, or more like an armchair with an extended table, was still the same she left it two days before, with neatly arranged files and a glass bowl full of candied nuts. As she brought a laptop out of her backpack, something nuzzled against her bare leg.

"Hello there Irmi!" Nahida smiled as she crunched down to pet the little white fuzzball "Did Tighnari feed you well?"

The bunny was twitching with his little nose as he made a few circles around her, begging for treats. Her neighbor indeed fed him since unlike her, he didn't give him that many treats. The smart bun knew well that if he does a few tricks he'll get something and indeed soon enough he was munching on a piece of a peach.

"We have another kit in the nest, so let's keep quiet for a few days okay? He might need more time than the rest."

Irmi could tell there was another new scent present in the apartment and that usually meant a new kit. The first time there was a new kit walking around, Irmi would constantly hide in his room, rarely peeking out and only getting closer if there were treats. But over time he realized each kit was more scared of him than the other way around. They would also calm down faster when petting him and that made Nahida happy and happy Nahida meant more treats and therefore Irmi tried to use every opportunity to bond with a new kit. But that gesture meant he shouldn't approach them and he didn't know why. Well Nahida was smart so instead of zooming towards the kit's nest, he jumped at a modified cat tree basket that was within Nahida's arm reach. He knew better not to chew on the papers and pencils, so he just lay there for a quick nap.

With a laptop set and all messages across the screen, Nahida went through all emails and possible tasks she missed in the last two days. Even in that short amount of time along with Alhaithem's help, her work certainly piled up, but she didn't worry about it as much as the single file that was still on the table.

Name: Kunikuzushi Igarashi

Age: 12

Status: In custody of state foster care with an assigned certified guardian (note: the parent gave up their parental rights when child was three years old)

Notes: Behavior issues, aggression, shows signs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, possible learning disabilities, social isolation, malnutrition, self-harming and suicidal tendencies.

"What do you want to do?"

"Get off this world. Be forgotten, erased, never been born at all."

That single sentence still sent shivers up her spine.

Despite knowing what made him reply with that, she still wondered why he wanted to be gone this badly. There was indeed a lot of anger there, but it was mostly for himself as well as sadness he didn't want to admit. Her work required her to communicate with children on a daily basis, especially when there was one under her roof, yet for this one she knew needed a lot of time.

She tried to use her work to distract herself, replying to emails and sending tasks to her co-workers. Due to fostering she adapted to work from home dynamic fast, trusting her team enough to take care of things, especially Alheithem who was practically her right hand. Even before fostering she would often travel long distances if that meant improving the lives of children at group homes and foster families.

Which was also the situation with this case.

She still remembered walking around the recently renovated Aaru Group Home, now run by two of her friends. The director, a kind woman named Candace, wanted to go a step further when designing it, not only to be a typical group home, but to have a feel of a youth center that could help all kinds of children. Nahida was especially impressed by a lovely garden area where kids could plant veggies and flowers while learning about nature and sustainability. While there were a dozen little flags that marked various sections of the garden to show which child worked on which crops, kids were not there at the moment. Dehya, Candace's right hand, laughed it off that it is likely due to a new basketball field that she observed as activity organizer.

But one boy was there.

So quiet she barely noticed him, the boy was sitting on a thick branch of sunsettia tree, staring into the distance. He was so still she thought he might've been sleeping, but that proved wrong when a small bird landed on his big sunhat, playfully bouncing up and down until landing on his shoulder. The boy slowly extended his hand to pet it, gently ruffling up its featherly puff. He continued to do so until he glanced in her direction and quickly shooed the bird away.

"Did Miss Dehya send you to pester me about joining sports again?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm not one of the staff." Nahida smiled. "I'm just visiting to see how renovations went. The garden was my idea!"

The boy stared at this short woman with long silvery white hair tied in a side ponytail, wearing a long white dress with green flower patterns, all cheerful and excited, like that bird he just shooed away.

"It is not bad." he said as he pulled his sunhat lower down his face and leaned against the tree.

Nahida wasn't sure if the boy was now truly sleeping or not, but she was curious about him, so at the end of the meeting with Candace and Dehya, she couldn't help but ask them about him.

"Kunikuzushi really said that?" Candace's eyes went wide.

"Well that's new." Dehya grinned, almost half in disbelief.

"Is there something wrong about that?" Nahida blinked at the unexpected reaction.

"Not really, it is just surprising." the director sighed as she headed towards the drawer with files "Kuni doesn't really respond unless he really has to."

Kunikuzushi… it clearly sounded Inazuman, country quite far away from Sumeru. While she occasionally worked with other than Sumerian children, she very rarely came across those from Inazuma. Being so far away and isolated from everywhere else, she really wondered how he would end up all the way here.

"This is his file." Candace handed her a rather thick folder compared to other ones "We were actually going to contact you about him for advice, but since you've already brought him up we may as well go through it now."

Thick folders were never a good sign, especially when there were red bookmarks as well as black and white foils stuck under medical records. With cases like this, Nahida was never really sure where to start, at the very beginning or at the most recent events, so she just gave the two ladies a questionable look, hopeful they will tell her more.

"He is from Dottorre's group home."

That was enough to let her know just how bad the situation was.

The case was notorious all across Sumeru when it was found out that a group home was actively abusing and neglecting children, some of them not even surviving. What was going on within the walls of the facility was still largely unknown since it was the fire of all things that revealed its dark secret. While it notified people of the crime, it also destroyed a lot of valuable evidence and the rescued children either couldn't or wouldn't talk about what happened. Police force, also known as matra in Sumeru, found enough other means to keep the man behind bars for a long time and social services worked tirelessly to help out the children. Even Nahida herself was helping with looking for suitable families for some of them and after nearly a year it seemed like the case came to a close.

But not for that boy apparently.

"As you may be well aware, the children from II Dottorre Group Home suffered from major psychological and physical trauma and will likely never truly recover from it. Most children were fortunate enough to find homes and families that provided them the help they needed, but him…" Candace said, looking down.

"He has been dismissed from over ten foster families or group homes in the last few just couldn't handle his outbursts, destructive behavior or overly passive persona. No one knew how to approach it and therefore gave up once the trial period was done. Some didn't even keep him for a trial thirty day period due to how unstable he was according to them." Dehya continued "He has been with us for a little over a month and while it seems to be alright, all of the other children from Dottore's group home showed progress in healing up… except for him. Mostly because he refuses."

"After he was rescued he spent a month in a medically induced coma due to injuries sustained in the fire and three more months at various hospitals going through treatments. There was not much issue when it came to physical injuries, he listened to every doctor when it came to the recovery of his body, very passively, but he listened."

"It was mental treatments that he refused." Candace pointed at one of the bookmarks "Whenever he was asked about his mental wellbeing it ended up in a disaster. Panic attacks, self-harming behavior, assaults at doctors, verbal assaults… it went on and on. At one point he almost committed the unthinkable when stealing medications, which landed him in a psych ward and while it sort of lessened his destructive behavior, it just made him trust people less and less. Many foster parents tried to give him the care he needed, but he proved too difficult to many. Last one even quit fostering all together because of him."

"I see…" Nahida sighed as she went through all the bookmarked files "How is it going here?"

"It's very uncertain to be honest." Dehya gazed through a window, spotting the boy still at his usual spot "It helps that he can have his own space in the garden, but he can't be there forever. At one point he will need to start to adjust to society again and with no idea how his mental state is like, we are not sure where to start. He does pick textbooks on subjects we have at the homeschooling program, but he refuses to do tests or interact with us. At most he would just get a textbook, read it at the tree and got another one once he was done."

"Not to mention the moments when he hurts himself or just… snaps. We had a situation when he suddenly knocked a glass jug off the table, then tried to clean it on his own with his bare hands. By the time Dehya found him his hands were full of glass shards, but he didn't say anything. In fact, when waiting for a medic, he just pushed them in the glass pile more. He ended up with over twenty stitches." the director visibly shivered "Another time there was some verbal disagreement between him and a group of older kids. He started a fight but then let the kids beat him up without fighting back."

"To put it simply… he is a very confusing case." Dehya crossed her arms in annoyance.

"I'm pretty convinced he needs a good individual approach, however with the reputation he got so far, I really doubt anyone would take him... I feel really bad about asking you this, especially after you helped us with renovations and everything, but if you know anyone who could-"

"What if I take him?"

…

Even though the response was very sudden, she was determined. He wouldn't be the first troubled child she would take under her wing nor would it be the first time she'd jumped at an opportunity to take in a child no one else wanted. In her mind each child was an unwritten piece of paper being written on until they were mature enough to write on it themselves. It was a sad fact that those who could write on them would often use the sharpest pencils or simply tore them apart.

It was clear that the child was tattered and barely being held together and will continue to fall apart if nothing is done.

In a matter of days, her agency found a children project at a nearby school happening and therefore a reason for her to stay here and not commute for two hours every single day. Candace gladly offered her a room at staff quarters as well as provided her with all daily plans, activities and routines. The group home hosted seven children and five more during the schooling program. There was enough help to keep everything under control, though from time to time Nahida could tell they could use more staff.

During the day she would be at the project at local school, organizing afternoon activities with a lovely theater teacher Nilou who used to be a famous dancer, but rather dedicated her life to sharing the art of performing with children. The program was supposed to connect children from nearby no matter the background and keep them busy with various activities during the afternoon. It still needed some time to be realized and Nahida gladly offered her help when checking things through as well as connecting her with the right people.

When the afternoon would come, Nahida returned back to the group home, just in time for dinner. The kids ranged from eight to fourteen and all seemed to be well connected and friendly with each other, even when there was the last piece of extra chicken.

But Kunikuzushi wasn't among them.

Nahida later learned he refused to eat with everyone and rather starved in his room. Therefore he would eat that small bowl of rice and canned eel in the kitchen, but he never really finished all of it. According to Candace he wouldn't eat anything else, except maybe fruits from time to time, in fact he would only eat the rice that he prepared himself and the can with eels had to be opened in front of him.

Trauma tied to food was all too common among foster kids, but this also showed just how little he trusted anyone. Time after dinner didn't show anything better since while others ran to the recreational room to play board games or watch tv, he headed back to the tree outside despite the sky turning dark. Whenever it would be too cold or was raining, the boy would apparently still do the same except he would retreat to his room. While most of the kids had shared rooms with at least two bunk beds, he had his own small room, just big enough for the bed, small closet and a window. There he would read textbooks or stare out of the window, pretty much the same as he would when on a tree.

Like now, she could see his silhouette as he put the leftovers in the fridge and washed the bowl, then heading to, presumingly, his room to get a textbook and then back to the tree. It will be a tough case, but Nahida had a plan. As soon as she finished helping Candace and Dehya clean the dishes and getting the kids to the play area, she grabbed a shopping bag she prepared as well as some borrowed tools.

While most of the crops were closer to the house, she headed right next to that sunsettia tree where some lone patches of dirt still were. It was obvious they hadn't been properly dug up yet so soon enough she was going through tough sumerian soil. Thanks to her neighbor she knew quite a lot about gardening, though as much as she liked the fruit she was planting, raising it herself was still something new.

The whole time the kid continued to read the book, not even once glancing at her, at least not until it was too dark and he climbed down to return to the house.

This repeated a few more days until the boy finally had enough of her presence and asked her why she was digging through the patches. By now he knew she was a friend of his current foster parents who was staying at the house for some work related project, however he had no clue why she was coming to the garden.

"Oh, you remember when I said I helped with the garden? I thought it would be better with some nice Ajilenakh trees!"

"Those take forever to grow, why bother?"

"They will still look lovely when they grow up! Little bit of nice fertilizer, sunlight and care and they'll be here in no time!"

"You are an idiot." he replied as he closed the book and for the first time left before it was too dark.

The harsh words were nothing new to her, yet for some reason these didn't hurt her. True the kid needed to learn some manners and respect, though with time she could tell he wasn't just harsh with other people.

He was harsh with himself as well.

Far too many times did she hear him curse at himself when measuring rice wrong, losing his grip when climbing on a tree or simply out of nowhere. He would snap at other kids when they would move his textbooks as well at himself when he struggled to understand a certain word, until Candace explained it to him.

And for some reason he always had a fresh cut and bruise somewhere.

Still after a week of watching her dig through patches, he finally climbed down and took it in his own hands.

"Seeds are too close, nothing will grow from this." he took a shovel to take them out "There should be a lot more space in between so more than two won't grow from this patch. This soil is too damp too."

He grumbled and ranted about palm trees for half of an hour more, until they were properly planted and covered by the right fertilizer. Nahida nodded at each instruction and playfully inserted extra questions, hoping she will learn anything more than his gardening skills.

"There, if you're lucky it will sprout in two months, but I doubt you will still be here by then." he practically spat when heading back inside.

"Perhaps I will." Nahida whispered to herself.

…

Quiet beeping brought her out of her thoughts, reminding her she should start dinner. Irmi recognized the sound as well, knowing dinner will be up soon, so he quickly raced back to his room to await fresh veggies. Nahida tended not to overcomplicate things when it came to cooking but with another mouth to feed the things were slightly different. Throwing on a casual shirt and apron over it, she set all the needed ingredients on the counter before heading towards the kid's room.

Three knocks, just how they agreed.

"If you want me to follow your rules, follow mine as well."

"Alright, as long as they are not unreasonable that is!"

"I just have three. First one… never sneak up on me."

The boy came out of the room only a few seconds later and Nahida was glad he at least changed into fresh clothes. The white shirt with a blue mushroom character was actually a donation from neighbors' adoptive daughter who was a couple years older and therefore taller, though the child didn't seem to care. He likely just took whatever was on top of the cloth pile even though that shirt easily reached over his thighs.

"We will be making a simple curry dish." Nahida pointed at the counter with ingredients "But you can just have rice if that's alright with you. We will also make some tea once we are done with curry."

The kid nodded and first went ahead to read the recipe right next to all the tools, plastered with a dozen stickers and highlighted with way too many colors. A lot of previous kids found joy in cooking, so Nahida gladly let them customize a big colorful collection of recipes. Each little scribble or smiley sticker was a memory and she hoped the boy would leave one or two as well.

He didn't say much as he started to peel carrots and potatoes, handling it with no issues. Dehya did compliment that he'd regularly help preparing the food, even if he didn't eat nearly as much.

"Second rule, I always balance the books."

Rule number two was not a problem either since it was her rule as well. When in a community, even if it's just a small family of two, each member had a role to play. The boy didn't mind handling whatever cooking task Nahida gave him and for a second she even thought she saw a tiny bit of excitement when she let him mix all ingredients in the pot on his own. His moves were very precise and controlled, almost like a choreographed dance.

They sat down to eat, the boy again just having rice, but he did let a spoonful of curry be put at the very edge of his plate, dipping a little bit of rice in it. The dinner was usually the highlight of the family time, when the experiences of the day would be shared. Nahida doubted that the boy wanted to talk, so she just let out a sentence or two about Sumeru city, with no indication that he had to join the conversation. He did pay a bit more attention when she brought up a hidden pathway that led straight to the forest since her apartment complex was located at the city outskirts.

She talked about how they could go explore it the next day and maybe stop by a stationary store to pick some notebooks and books he'd like for his homeschooling. He only replied that he is fine with whatever was already in his room, even though there were just crayons and maybe a few really short pencils due to the last foster kid being a preschooler. Noticing his tired expression and less and less focusing eyes, Nahida gathered the dishes to put them in the washing machine where he again helped. Knowing his second rule, she understood his way of thinking to a degree, but she still wanted to let him know that he doesn't alway need to see everything in equivalent exchange.

As soon as she got the electric kettle going, she reached for the box full of candied nuts she made herself. She often brought them to foster homes since the children loved them, thought knowing the boy's particular taste, she reached for a separate section where raw nuts were, those who still waited to be coated in a layer of caramel.

"Here, some home grown Ajilenakh nuts!" she set a small bowl with a fistful of them "They go well with bitter tea."

"I don't want any." he replied, ready to go back to the room.

"I'm glad you've helped me out with dinner." Nahida insisted "Think of it as your reward!"

"Good job, here is your reward."

He suddenly slid down, trembling and coughing until spilling out the dinner he just had. Nahida instantly got to him to help him, but he set his hand up while still using the other one to block his mouth.

"Third rule, do not pity me. I don't deserve it."

"Alright, but do know that in case of emergencies, I will have to break them. Especially if you get hurt."

"Do what you want."

It was clear that what Nahida said somehow triggered something to act the way he did. Many times the children under her care would have a set of triggers she sadly only discovered when they happened. The poor kid was shaking as the tears ran down his face, trying so hard not to look at her. She knew he was breaking his third rule, but this was about his physical well being and had to be taken care of.

He was just a child who was carrying himself because no one else did.

"I will just rub your back to make this easier." she simply said as he continued to cough out the pieces of food.

Soon he was just dry heaving since he didn't eat much in the first place. He didn't want to look up, not even when Nahida came back with a towel for which he assumed was to clean up the mess he just created. He was about to use it to wipe the dirty floor when she pulled it out of his hands to clean up his face.

"It's alright, I will take care of it." she said as she gently wiped the vomit off his face "Do you need any help cleaning up yourself?"

"I'll.. manage…" he whispered as he covered his face with the clean part of the towel and headed towards the bathroom.

Again it was just her in silence, except for the sound of running water from the bathroom. Indifferent to the acidic smell, she simply opened the cabinet with cleaning supplies to get rid of the mess. She really felt bad about being the cause for his trigger, but with all those years of experience as a foster parent, the guilt she felt shouldn't cause her to lose her judgment. Part of her wanted to hug him, to assure him it wasn't his fault and that it is nothing wrong with receiving comfort when he surely needed it.

But this wasn't what he wanted and for this to work, she needed to respect his rules as well.

Blaming herself wouldn't make it any better, she could only keep a note of what happened to avoid it in the future.

As soon as she was done, she grabbed a pair of pajamas and fresh underwear from his closet, leaving it by the bathroom door. With three knocks she let him know he had clothing by the door and that he can throw dirty ones in a basket right next to a washing machine. There was a faint "okay" heard so she headed back to the kitchen to get food for Irmi.

The bunny wouldn't get out of its room, its sensitive nose instantly picking on unwanted smell, but Nahida assured him it will be better tomorrow. Accidents like that happened before and if she knew one thing was that it was incredibly embarrassing for children, so when the boy was out of the bathroom in fresh clothes she simply asked him if he felt any better.

"Tired…" he uttered as he headed back to the room.

"Do you still want tea? I can bring it to your room later."

"Sure."

The almost forgotten tea was still waiting in a teapot next to the mugs with the cartoon plant characters that were so popular with kids. She had a whole cupboard full of themed mugs since per tradition, she would get a new one for every child. This time it was a blue character with mushroom-like hat, rather similar to the sunhat the boy kept wearing. It was a typical inazuman sunhat, the kind the farmers would wear to protect themselves from the sun. He seemingly customized it too since he tied many dark blue ribbons around it as well as dried leaves, pieces of cloth and other similar decorations. She asked Dehya and Candace about the hat and apparently he just found it in their attic when they were cleaning it up and asked if he could have it.

Once she placed the mugs on a small tray accompanied by a water bottle and packed rice crackers, she opened the locked medication drawer. All pill bottles and boxes were neatly arranged and a single pill box with "Kunikuzushi" written on it contained only one medication.

"Sleeping pills?"

"It is the only ones he'll take. He trusts nothing else."

She wasn't sure if she should give them to him or not, considering he just threw up.

And yet, she could recall the conversation with Candace during his first few weeks at Aaru group home.

"He wouldn't sleep otherwise." the tanned skinned woman pointed at the boy's file "Either he would stay up until passing out or wander somewhere. As exhausted as he was, he would almost always break something or wake up the other kids. And even when he was sleeping, it was never a peaceful one. Dehya would keep an eye on him and he would toss and turn to the point of hitting the wall, scream or claw himself to the point of drawing blood. We eventually managed to convince him to use sleeping pills and now he won't sleep without them."

Nahida wondered why insomnia wasn't mentioned in his file and apparently whatever symptoms he had weren't considered as such. Candace did mention that he has been taken to multiple doctors and each had their own idea what was going on with him. She will have to take him to one eventually too and hopefully the file would be therefore upgraded.

Armed with her tray she gently knocked on his door and waited until there was a quiet yes. The boy somehow managed to get in bed without moving much of the pillows and plushies, the blankets around him wrapping him up like a big cocoon. His face was visibly pale and even more exhausted than before, though he still tried to weakly avoid eye contact.

"It is a simple Sumeru rose, Kalpalata and Rukkha sha va powder mixture." she said as she poured it in two separate mugs "It is slightly bitter, but otherwise neutral taste."

The boy pulled himself up enough to sit and carefully take the mug in his hands. It was not hot, just warm enough to still feel like a decent cup of tea. He slowly started taking sips once he saw Nahida drinking hers. For a while they were both just drinking tea until the young woman finished her cup and pointed at the characters on the mug.

"There is a real legend behind those characters." she picked the nearby plushie "They are said to be guardians of the forest, protecting its roots and healing the parts that are withering away. Long time ago the forests of Sumeru were dying, but their queen made a great sacrifice to keep the forests safe. Now they are still hiding in the forests to care for them, invincible to adults, though not to children."

The child said nothing as he continued to drink the rest of the tea while eyeing the rest of the tray.

"It is just regular bottled spring water to keep you hydrated." Nahida took away the empty mug "Rice crackers in case you get hungry during the night and-"

"What about pills?" he asked quietly, his voice still hoarse from coughing.

"I don't think you can have sleeping pills today… they might upset your stomach even more." Nahida helped him slip back to bed once she saw how barely he was holding himself up from exhaustion "The tea mixture does have mild sedative properties so it might help you sleep a little better."

The boy's eyes went wide and his body started to shake, but Nahida gently tucked in the edges of the green bed sheets to keep him warm.

"I know a new place can be unsettling and hard to get used to." she sighed as she watched the sky get darker and darker "The birds and squirrels spend a long time building their nests to make it homey, but once they make it their own, they can hardly ever leave it behind. It is even harder when one is destroyed and they have to make a brand new one."

No reply to that either.

"I know you don't trust me just yet and you are right to do so. I already broke two of your rules while you didn't break any of mine. I apologize for that." Nahida said in a more serious tone to which the boy buried his face more under the blanket "I will do my best to follow them better in the future. For now don't worry about anything and rest for a few days, it will be hard, but we will find a way to make it work."

"Rou…tine?" he mumbled from under the blanket.

Nahida smiled at his question since it just showed how familiar he was with the fostering system already. Routine and home tour were usually the first to be introduced in order to help children adapt to a new home better, though in cases like this, Nahida wouldn't rush it in order to make sure the welcome wasn't as intrusive.

"We will set it tomorrow once you're better." she put the plushie somewhere close to the boy "Try to get some sleep and if there is anything you need, I'll be there right away. Don't worry, you won't bother anyone if you call for me, there are no immediate neighbors here."

The boy just wrapped himself tighter in a cocoon of a blanket with no reply.

"I hope you feel better after some sleep." she headed outside "I promise to always knock when I come to your room."

With those words Nahida left the room, leaving a tiny flower shaped light switch glowing in the dark.

…

It took her a great three hours before she was done with the plan for tomorrow, making sure everyone at the child welfare center had the right amount of tasks and knew what had to be done even without her. The candied nuts surely helped her to stay focused, along with several cups of warm almond milk with honey. Irmi would usually be lively during this time, but he didn't want to leave his room, not even for a treat.

Nahida noticed a few messages from Candace asking her how Kunikuzushi was settling in and she gave her perhaps too professional a reply on his well-being. It was a sort of habit when it came to fostering since she was not allowed to foster the kids she worked with. Her role here was not to be her profession, but a parent to a troubled child. Reports were necessary, though she didn't go in complete detail to keep at least some of the boy's privacy.

Speaking of which, she only heard barely audible sleeping sounds, quite typical and maybe even too peaceful considering the situation. Maybe the tea did help or the boy was just so exhausted and stressed from the day he outright passed out.

Despite the good looking situation, Nahida still stayed up for a few more hours on her armchair, keeping herself busy with going through all homeschooling material suitable for her ward's age. School was still out of the question, though she hoped that one day she could take him there and then pick him up, listening to all the exciting things that happened in school.

There was still a long road ahead that he was currently not ready to take, however there was no rush and she knew well that if he would choose so, he would take it one day without being pushed.

Suddenly there was a cry, followed by a loud hit to the wall and she raced to the boy's room without a second thought. She still knocked three more times and only turned on the small night light to analyze the situation.

The boy had made a sort of barricade out of pillows and plushies around himself, probably to instinctively protect himself. But the danger he was so afraid of wasn't coming from the outside.

It was within his mind.

Shaking like a leaf in the storm, the tears were running down his pale cheeks as he continued to punch the wall. His hair was disheveled and drenched in sweat, yet when Nahida gently grabbed onto his wrists, he was so cold to the touch. The young woman might've been short for her age, but years of working with children and regular gym visits with Alhaitham made her strong enough to deal even with the most unruly children.

The boy continued to let out loud whimpers and inaudible shouts even when the shaking stopped. His knuckles were heavily bruised, some spots missing skin as well as the walls had the paint chipping off from the hits.

With a sigh, Nahida gently rubbed circles around the uninjured parts of the boy's hands until his breathing gradually calmed down. She could still feel sudden jerks of the boy's arms, so she continued to hold onto them as she reached for the bottom drawer of the nightstand. Having so many kids with a tendency to injure themselves fast, made her invest in a first aid kit box in every single room in the apartment complex, including the bunny room and greenhouse.

The injuries weren't nearly as bad as she imagined, yet she still took her time treating them. She disinfected the small wounds with a mild herbal gel that wasn't as stingy as usual sprays and put band-aids on places where skin was torn away. Despite everything that was going on, the boy was still in a deep sleep or just a state of unconsciousness caused by severe exhaustion. He likely wasn't aware she was there with him, but she still treated him just the same as he was. Watching him now, so vulnerable and helpless in a trap of a nightmare, made him look far more like a child than he was a proud boy who carried himself high and refused to show any sign of weakness.

She recalled those three weeks of trying to get close to him, using any means to convince him to talk to her. By the end of first week she was fairly convinced he was annoyed by her and yet still didn't mind if she would stick around or if he simply did it because she was an adult he was supposed to respect, no matter how harsh he tended to talk with her.

Still, with every little step, she found a new part of him that carried the burden no child should.

She would ask him why he would hurt himself, he said he didn't know.

She would ask him why he didn't like other kids, he said he just didn't like them.

She would ask him what he wanted to become once he grew up.

He said…

… no one.

"Why do you want to erase yourself that badly?"

"I have no one left and the world would do better off without me."

"How do you know that?"

"I just do."

Nahida still patiently watered the patches with Ajilenakh seeds, no matter how many times he told her that trees won't sprout any time soon and that she wasn't doing it right.

"What if I'm the person who will miss you?"

"Why would you miss me?"

"Well, someone needs to let me know how to raise those trees since I'm clearly doing it wrong."

As playful as that answer was, the boy looked at her dumbfounded and then quickly turned away. Next few days he would avoid her, even when it came to meals, either he would only eat when she was meeting with Nilou or just stay in his room the whole time. Candace wondered what had gotten into him, but he wouldn't say. Nahida continued to take care of the trees like she did so far though she really missed the silent companion on a tree.

It was the rainy day when she stayed indoors, typing down some instructions for a family preparing to take in a child soon, when the boy came to her for the first time. At first it felt like it was something his current foster parents made him do since he brought Nahida a plate with homemade candied nuts and uttered a silent apology for avoiding her. She smiled and thanked him for the treat, though she wasn't fully satisfied with an apology and demanded some answers to her questions.

The boy punched the table in frustration, but let her come to his room later in the night. Once she got there, he was staring at falling raindrops slipping down the window.

"Why would you really miss me? Is it a part of your savior complex?"

"And if it is?"

"At least you're honest."

Nahida dug around her small bag until finding a small spiral notebook, covered by stickers, keychains and other random objects. When opening it, she scrolled through several pages until finding a photo of a green haired girl accompanied by a drawing of a cat-doll looking character as well as more of those forest creatures stickers.

"I once fostered a little girl from Dottorre's group home. Of course, it was way before it was found out what was going on there. She was a lot like you when I first took her in." Nahida bit into one of the candied nuts "Avoiding people, refusing to talk, building a protective armor around herself… but it was because she was scared of being hurt. She tried to look strong, covering any part of vulnerability that could be used against her. But she didn't know how long she would be able to keep going."

The boy didn't know how to respond to that. Deep down he wanted to shout that it won't work on him. So many foster parents who took him in would tell him stories about their past so called successes and he refused to become something they wanted. But another part of him was curious where the story was going.

"There was a time when she could no longer do it and stopped going forward. I was afraid she would give up, but then she found a reason to not give up. She still wanted to fight, she really did, but once she found out that she doesn't need to keep fighting in order not to give up."

"I don't get it."

"You don't need to fight just to survive. You just need to find a reason to live."

…

Nahida didn't know if he understood her message right or not, though in all cases it seemed to at least reached him. It took him one more week to finally make a decision and by the time Nahida wrapped up the project with Nilou, Candace had all the papers ready.

Now it just depended on him if he wanted to give her a chance.

He had another series of slightly avoiding Nahida, but at the same time he found reasons to get to her in some way or another, bringing her nuts or just asking her about random things he read in a textbook. This further puzzled Candace and Dehya and yet further convinced them Nahida was the right for the job.

…

Now that he was here, in a form he was trying so hard to hide while still shedding those tears, Nahida knew it was the right time to tell another story.

"There is another Sumerian legend about those forest guardians and a young princess who followed the queen's footsteps. She was locked in a cage like a little bird and could only watch as the forests were dying again, afraid that the queen's sacrifice would be in vain."

"But there was a hero who rescued the little princess who tried to heal the forest. A monster from a faraway land found a broken puppet who sought a heart and promised to give it one. Yet the heart was stolen, withering away inside the puppet and still it convinced itself that the dying heart was what it needed. With the new power the monster set the puppet to destroy."

"At the last moment, the hero led the little princess to the puppet who took out its corrupted heart and used it to save the forest. For many the story ends there, when the princess exiles the monster, becomes the new queen and continues to protect the forest."

"No one really questioned what happened to the puppet who remained broken and without a heart on the battlefield. Maybe it just withered away completely or remained still forever, never to be seen again."

…

She no longer saw him lying in a bed with bandaged hands surrounded by soft pillows and plushies.

No…

He was lying among the rubble of steel, glass and tubes, his empty eyes wide open and limbs sprawled in awkward positions.

…

"I hope I can save you in this life too, Balladeer."

I hope you like my very first Genshin Impact fic! I've been playing since 1.5 and I simply love its deep lore, characters, gameplay and story. I've been interested in Scara ever since he showed up for the first time (well the first time before I started to play), I hoped to see him more in Inazuma and was dissapointed buuut when he finally showed up in Sumeru and finally became playable along with Nahida, I just loved him even more. I swear my heart was breaking during his story and the way Hoyoverse handled his so called rebirth couldn't be more perfect! He is everything what I wanted Yuri and Vanitas from Kingdom Hearts to be!

At the moment I'm not sure how many chapters this story will have, especially since I will likely break the sections into shorter chapters in order to update it more regulary. I will try bi-weekly updates, maybe even weekly but I doubt about that. In all cases this will be about Scara recovering from his trauma, uncovering the mystery of Dottorre's group home and Scara slowly adapting to new life as well as meeting other children that Nahida fostered in the past.

How did you name your Wanderer if I may ask? XD Mine is Mochi! One reason - it is such a cute name and his bright skin reminds me of a mochi. Other reason - traditionally mochi is made by pounding rice and usually it is not clear what is inside. It kinda symbolizes that pain can shape you and what is inside you cannot be seen until you remove the outer layers. Of course, Scara in this fic will also get a new name which will be different, but that will happen at least a few chapters later.

Comments, critics, kudos, questions, ideas much appreaciated! You can also follow me on Hawkie Craft on instagram where I plan to share my genshin series plushies!

Also a good news for Broken by Humanity, Healed by Dragon readers - the fic is back in development. It will have five more chapters which are all planned out, they just need to be written and in order to avoid long breaks between updates I won't start posting until at least the first two are done. I know it's been literal years since I updated that one, but I really love that story and I think it deserves to finally be concluded.

Happy 2023 to all of you!