New Author's Note: Well, when I said I would be regularly posting I didn't expect a lot of things to happen back then. Hopefully now I'll be able to actually keep that promise and work on things and get a schedule for posting properly. Though, upon rereading the earlier chapters I realized I never gave a real expanse of what happened in the year between All Falls Down and the current story, so I'm reuploading the first chapters to edit that in and explain this better and then hopefully I'll get on a better track with my actual uploading/writing schedule! This is a rewrite of a story originally begun back when this account was first created.

Important Information:

Eli's grade is in their senior year, Clare's is in their junior year.

Eli and Clare have been together since All Fall's Down, the only issues they had was when Fitz came back from juvi, with Eli's jealousy and Fitz's emails to Clare, and with Eli's hoarding issues. Eli never crashed his car and they never broke up.

Clare's parents are still married, they're having problems and Clare's aware of that but divorce has never occurred to her. Clare has been writing with her sister Darcy through e-mails as frequently as she can get in touch with her.

Jenna and KC's storyline is basically the same as the show. Jenna moved in with KC and then after they decided to give Tyson up for adoption she moved in with the Bhandari family. KC, however, will not be moving away from Toronto with his mother. He does still work at Little Miss Steaks, though.

Drew cheated on Alli with Bianca and has begun dating Bianca, but he's also apologized to Alli since then too afterwards when Alli and Adam began working on the Science team together.

Adam was shot at prom last year, Clare and Eli were by his side most of the time during recuperation over the summer to help out with the Torres family, as well as Bianca who Audra Torres had gotten a part time job and was working with the lawyers and probation.

I think that's all of the important information that you'll need to know before reading the story that might not be explained within the chapters! If I think of anything else, though, I'll let you know in other chapters. Happy reading!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or it's characters, but I do own this idea.

Chapter One: The Realization

Clare had been up all night, her stomach in knots. It wasn't the first night she hadn't been able to sleep, but it was the first night the realization hit her. The nausea fell in waves, suddenly overtaking her and consuming her thoughts. Still, the realization hadn't hit until she'd been awake at six in the morning, staring out her window as the sun was rising. As the sun began to shine brightly through the curtain in her room, Clare's mind had wandered. She didn't want to believe it was possible, but what if that thought in the back of her mind was right? That voice she had tried so hard to forget, the voice that sounded like her mother's disapproving tone, could be right. It frightened her, she didn't know how she would handle it. If that voice was right.

If she was pregnant.

Since six in the morning Clare had been staring at her computer screen, biting her lip as she searched Google. She read about pregnancy, symptoms and how people could tell they were pregnant. Obviously she knew she would need to take a test, but Clare was so worried that she hadn't wanted to really think about it until she confronted herself with the reality of it all. Staring at her computer screen for hours, looking at every possible link she could and studying it like she needed to know all the information. She barely even looked up until she heard her name being called from downstairs.

"Clare!" she heard the voice call once again followed by a set of footsteps up the staircase. Staring, like she was still stunned, Clare watched the door open and reveal her best friend Adam. She tried to smile, but she saw Adam already looking worried once he stepped foot into the room. "I know we had plans but if you're...not feeling well I can get you some soup or something and call you later?"

Clare closed her eyes, pushed her laptop away from her and stood up from her bed. "No! No, you don't need to leave." Her voice carried a tone of panic and she caught Adam's eyebrow raise as he looked at her. Clare felt scrutinized under his gaze and she glanced down, nervously playing with the sleeves of her shirt, not wanting to meet her friends gaze, afraid he might guess something was wrong.

"Seriously, Clare, you're really pale. Are you sure you're okay? We don't need to hang out if you're sick or something." Adam sounded worried for her, and that thought made Clare feel even worse. She didn't want to worry her best friend about what might be wrong with her, but obviously she would need to tell someone. Clare had been worried about this for hours, weeks if she'd been honest with herself, so shouldn't she let someone into her crazed thoughts? Maybe there would be some sense of comfort in telling someone. In saying the words out loud.

Clare opened her mouth, then closed it again. She couldn't do this. She couldn't tell Adam she was pregnant. She didn't even know if she was pregnant, so why should she say anything? Clare's gaze turned to her bed, glancing at her laptop and the stuffed animals on her bed. She looked at the tattered pink bunny rabbit she'd had since she was a child, it's eyes seemed to look right through her at the moment. She couldn't help but curse at the rabbit in front of her, blame it for making her feel guilty. Stupid rabbit. Stupid judgmental rabbit.

"Okay you're starting to freak me out. You're really pale and you're not talking to me. What's going on?"

At Adam's words Clare turned back around and looked at her friend. Might as well rip off the band aid, right? Plus, maybe she would feel better once she said the words out loud. "I...I...I can't do this." Clare suddenly stopped, waving an arm and falling back against her bed, an arm resting over her stomach. She groaned loudly and turned her head to Adam. He looked confused, like he was about to say something. Clare cut him off from whatever it was as she quietly spoke. "I think I'm pregnant." Her voice shook as she said the words. She did not feel better saying the words out loud, in fact she felt...worse. Much worse, as if this was all becoming really real and she needed to face it. Clare closed her eyes, not bearing the thought of looking at her friend while he processed what she just said. She didn't want to see judgement across Adam's sweet face. She didn't want to have to explain it any further. She couldn't.

Clare was a smart girl, that's what she'd always thought about herself anyway. So, how did she end up in this situation? They'd used protection. Even after all her years of hearing how sex before marriage was a sin, Clare couldn't help but think back to what her parents would say. She'd chosen to have sex, and Clare had not come to that decision lightly. She was young and in love with her boyfriend, why should she feel wrong to express that love in a way other people had? And it wasn't like it had been bad. It wasn't enjoyable, and Clare had been a little uncomfortable at first knowing that Eli had had sex before and she had no idea what to do. But at the end of it, she'd been happy to give Eli her virginity. Especially after all their ups and downs, it was nice to have a good moment with him. To have that moment with him. Something she wouldn't share with anyone else.

"You and Eli..." Adam finally spoke after what seemed like an eternity to Clare. His voice didn't hold judgement, it sounded like he was still processing everything. Clare peeked at him and saw him scratching the back of his head. "But...your purity ring."

Clare glanced down at her finger and let out a low sigh as she twisted the ring around her finger. She sat up slowly, her hands clasped together, and turned to look at Adam. "Well I didn't want my parents to know. Eli and I made that choice together and...I know after everything you've heard from me and my parents that you think I wouldn't make this choice but I've been thinking a lot lately. I still believe in God, I just came to the decision that while I believe in God I don't think I believe in everything else. I mean, I do, in some weird way. Like I've heard all my life all these things, and I still believe them but I wanted to make that choice with Eli. I really do love him, Adam. I'm a Christian, but that doesn't mean I can't do things that go against my faith, does it? Oh God, what am I saying?" Clare spoke rapidly, trying to explain it to Adam but also keep herself calm. She looked at her hands, staring at the silver purity ring she wore on her finger. The promise she had made to God, to her parents, echoed in her ears. Not until marriage. But, what if she was in love?

Love is special, isn't it? Like marriage in a way, and she should be free to express that love. She'd made that promise to her parents when she was eleven years old, she was fifteen now. Obviously she'd changed. There was no way she could explain that to her Christian parents, but it was a change she felt inside. She'd wrestled with it for a while, and prayed for an answer. When she chose to give Eli her virginity it was a choice she didn't take lightly, and she didn't regret it. Until now. Was this God's way of telling her that she shouldn't have done it? She didn't believe God was vengeful, but could this be a sign that her act had really been a sin? Tears pooled in her eyes as she thought about it. She was overwhelmed with emotions.

Adam came over and sat on her bed beside her, wrapping his arm around Clare's shoulders. Clare turned and put her head on his shoulder as she cried. "Was it wrong, Adam? Did I make the wrong choice? Is this punishment for making love to Eli? Does God hate me?" She murmured between cries as she clung to her friend. Adam just sat there, rubbing Clare's back.

"I'm not really religious, Clare, so I don't know what to say. I don't think you should be punishing yourself, though." Adam replied.

Clare looked up at him, tears still in her eyes. She wiped her face with her hand and nodded. "I just don't know what to believe right now." Clare bemoaned.

"I guess the only way to answer your...question is to get a test?" Adam suggested.

"You're right." Clare replied, nodding her head. It was true. There was no way to know for sure without getting a test. Without being positive. Clare stood up from her bed, and turned to face Adam. "We can go get a test. You'll be there with me, right? I don't want to have to wait alone, or go alone. I don't want to be alone." Adam nodded his head when Clare paused, a look across his face that seemed to assure Clare he would be going with her. It made her smile. Turning around, Clare gathered her wallet off her desk and shoved it in her purse along with her phone. "Okay, great. There's a pharmacy down the road and we can go get the test. It's only a ten minute walk."

Adam cleared his throat and Clare turned back to look at him. She'd almost made it all the way to the door. She wanted to get it over with and know, for certain. She didn't want to have this question looming over her head. She stopped and looked at Adam, waiting to see what he was going to say. After a moment Adam spoke, "I don't think we should walk. It'll be too long and you're already...anxious. I'll call Drew, he can pick us up." Adam already had his phone out and hit a few buttons and put it to his ear. Clearly he had made this choice for the two of them.

Clare suddenly dropped her purse, shocked. "Don't! Don't tell Drew. Please don't tell Drew about..." Clare didn't know what to say. She wasn't sure she was pregnant, so she stopped short of saying "the baby". Instead she just gestured to her stomach, hoping that Adam got the message. When her friend nodded, Clare felt relieved and bent down to pick up her purse.

"Hey Drew. Can you pick Clare and I up?" Adam paused, and clearly Drew was responding to his query. Adam groaned, rolling his eyes. "I know you just dropped me off here not too long ago. Don't pretend like you have plans. It's not even two on a Saturday! What plans do you have that start before six at night?" Adam paused again and then nodded to whatever his brother was saying. "Where do we need to go? The pharmacy. Clare needs to pick something up. Uh, tampons?" Adam says it like it's a question and then Clare can hear Drew groaning over the phone. But he must agree because then Adam says, "See you in a few." Hanging up the phone Adam put it in the pocket of his jeans and gives Clare a light smile. "Let's go wait for him."

"Tampons. Good cover." Clare comments, as she walked with Adam down the staircase of her house. The pair made their way outside, Clare locking the door behind her and then taking a seat on the front step of her house. "I don't think I'll be needing those for a while though." Clare mumbled quietly, commenting mostly to herself.

Adam took a seat next to Clare, his voice kind when he spoke. "We don't know that for sure." He tried to give Clare some form of reassurance that this wasn't the end of everything. She gave him a weak smile and then turned her attention to the road in front of her as she waited for Drew to pull up. They stayed quiet until they saw Drew pull up and then Clare got into the backseat while Adam claimed the passenger's seat.

Once the car was moving, Drew started talking. "Don't girls keep enough of that stuff to make sure this never happens? That their best friend's big bro needs to take them for an emergency...run."

"If you can't say tampon then we have more problems on our hands, Andrew." Adam teased his older brother with a laugh that makes Clare chuckle herself. Drew just rolls his eyes and mumbles under his breath. The rest of the drive to the pharmacy is quiet.

When they arrive at the pharmacy, Drew parks the car and tells Adam that he'll be waiting outside. Clare and Adam say thanks and dart inside. They make their way around the store until they find the aisle that they need. Clare stares at the wall of pregnancy tests in front of her and sighs. It's a reality now, that she's there.

"Don't you think it's a little odd they keep the pads and stuff in the same aisle as these?" Adam asks, trying to lighten the mood. Clare just shrugs at her friends comment. The tests in front of her seem to be mocking her. Poor teenage girl coming around to get a pregnancy test, don't you know any better? They seem to be taunting her. Clare grimaces at the tests but stays silent. "First Response, EPT, Clear Blue, One Step...there's a lot of options? Is one of them better than the others?"

Clare just shrugs. "I mean they all work the same way. Pee on the stick, it tells you positive or negative." Clare closes her eyes and reaches in front of her, silently vowing to take the first test she reaches. Opening her eyes when one of the rests is in her hand she speaks again. "First response it is." Clare says quietly as she takes Adam's arm and leads him to the front of the store. She places the test on the counter and the woman behind the counter looks it over and then glances at Clare. Clare grabs a pack of gum and places it on the counter as well, hoping to get out of there soon. She doesn't like the feeling of being judged by some woman who clearly doesn't know what she's going through.

"Nineteen dollars and fifty two cents." The woman speaks and Clare passes a twenty her way, silently taking the change from the woman and making her way out the pharmacy with Adam.

"Someone's got a problem." Adam rolls his eyes, commenting on the woman behind the counter. "You think she doesn't see anyone our age picking that up?" He quietly asks as they open the door to the car.

Clare shrugs and mumbles quietly, "I guess not." Then she clears her throat and smiles to Drew. "Thanks for taking us to the pharmacy. Can you drop us back at my house now?" Clare asks as politely as she can. Drew just nods and gives Adam a look to which his brother shrugs. Once they're off, Clare leans her head against the back of the seat and sighs. The pair once again thank Drew when the car stops and he just nods and drives off once they're on their way up the front steps. The walk to Clare's room seems to take them forever, or at least that's how it feels to Clare. She closes her eyes when she gets in the room and looks down at the bag in her hands. "Might as well get it over with." Clare says, unenthusiastically as she makes her way to the adjoining bathroom. Adam gives Clare a reassuring smile and takes a seat on her bed, grabbing the book on her nightstand, an old copy of The Great Gatsby.

Closing her eyes, Clare opens the door to the bathroom. She takes in a deep breath and walks in, shutting the door behind her. It feels like everything is in slow motion as she takes the pregnancy test out of the bag, opening it up. She reads the instructions a couple of times before she feels comfortable. Well, not comfortable. Ready. Before she feels ready to take the test. At this point Clare just needs to know the answer. Will she only be prepping for finals or will she be preparing to take care of a child and finals? The question hangs over her head as she waits for the results. Three minutes, give or take. Clare sets an alarm on her phone and doesn't look at the test in the meantime. She doesn't want to know until she needs to know. Setting the test on the counter, Clare curls up on the plush rug on the floor. Opening the door slightly, Clare looks in her room. "Adam?" Her voice is small, but it still manages to get Adam looking up at her. He looks anxious too and for some reason that comforts Clare. She's not the only one worried. "Can you pass me the rabbit?" she asks softly. Adam gives her a look, scrunching up his nose, but turns and grabs the pink rabbit and tosses it to her without hesitation. Nodding, Clare tells him thanks and then closes the door once again.

Clare sits on the floor, playing with the ears of the old rabbit in her arms. She counts in her head, letting the moments pass. Her anxiety builds and bubbles until the alarm she'd set on her phone goes off. Suddenly Clare jumps up, dropping the rabbit to the floor and turning her attention to the pregnancy test sitting on the counter. She sees the symbol telling her the news, and stares down at the plastic object for a long minute. Clare breathes out, gently touching the test. As if the plastic might explode like how she feels.

Plus.

Positive.

Pregnant.

Clare picks up the test from the counter and then bends down to get the rabbit from her floor. Suddenly her wave of nerves of not knowing turns into clarity. She's pregnant. With child. It's actually happening. It's no longer just a worst case scenario. This is real. This is happening. She's going to be a mother. Of course, these thoughts bring on a new feeling of anxiety as Clare opens the door. Adam is waiting right by the door, tapping his foot. He's been waiting for this news too. He gestures and says, "Well?"

Clare holds the test out to show him, as if her words will only mean so much but the test will be proof. She can't find her voice right then. She doesn't know how to feel either. Nervous? Worried? Angry? Sad? Happy? What exactly is a fifteen year old girl supposed to feel when she gets pregnant?

"You're pregnant." Adam breathes out, glancing back up at Clare. Clare nods. For five heartbeats ringing in Clare's ears, neither of them speak. Then, "What are you going to do?"

"I..." Clare begins and then she shrugs. She'd never considered what she would do if she got pregnant as a teenager. It was never something she'd thought about before because she had vowed to not have sex until she was married.

"You could get an abortion, there's adoption, or you could just keep it. It's your choice, Clare."

Clare doesn't speak, she just stares emptily in front of her. Waiting for an answer to magically come to her. Maybe to feel some relief. Nothing happens, and she doesn't feel any better than she did when this was all a possibility and not a reality.

"But you have to tell Eli. It's his kid too."

That word. Kid. There is a kid inside of me, Clare thinks. A small person, a being that is completely dependent on me. She hugs the rabbit close, pressing it against her face trying to hide from the reality of it all. Knowing that it's not possible to hide from the reality of the situation because it's completely real and happening.

AN: Hopefully this didn't disappoint! I've got thirteen chapters of the old story to work with, plus other ideas to continue to this story as well. I'll begin working on the next chapter soon and maybe have it up later on, but likely tomorrow. Let me know what you think!