I, much like many, have been playing BG3 and becoming absolutely obsessed with Astarion and his story. So. Because it is totally my habit to do so, I decided to write my spin on his ascension story arc. I am including my own DnD character Anya De Rosa...with some changes (seeing as in my own campaign she is already a vampire), but this explores the path where Astarion has no choice but to turn Anya or lose her forever. Enjoy!

Chapter One

Astarion

She was telling me not to do the ritual. To give up all of the power I ever dreamt of…but…at the same time, my dreams had changed over the months I had been with her. I used to dream of destroying Cazador…ripping each and every single sinewy thread that made him whole from his body and using them to braid my new legacy. Now…my dreams were…of her. Of Anya. Of us spending that night together in the forest…of the nights spent afterwards.

I glanced at her…those perfect amber colored eyes held me with such…admiration. She wanted me to be more…more than this…and…something told me that she also needed me to be more. I needed to protect her just as much as she protected me. And to Hell with being a next gen version of an archaic monster.

I held the dagger he used on my skin time and time again…it would be poetic justice to end him with this dagger. To claw at his flesh with the sharpened blade as he had done to me so many nights before.

"...I am going to make you beg me…for release. If nothing else…I will have the satisfaction of-"

My words were cut short as I heard a loud retch. I turned back and my eyes widened to see Anya on her knees…clutching at her chest…her throat. Blood was pouring from her mouth, from her eyes, and ears as if something was pulling the very life essence from her.

"What's going on…what is happening?!" I shouted.

I watched as the crimson threads slid towards me…but rather than them wrapping around myself, they pooled around Cazador…and in a sudden realization I knew exactly what was happening. The cackle just confirmed it…the laugh that I endured whenever Cazador tortured me. It rang through my ears along with the ever fading heartbeat coming from my companion. I turned back to him and glared.

"What have you DONE?!" I roared.

"It was so EASY," he sang. "To find your latest weakness, Astarion. Admittedly…I was worried that not being able to control you would pose a hindrance. But…then my children saw you with Anya…"

Hearing her name on his lips was almost enough to force my hand. Before he could utter another word I brought the dagger to his throat.

"You do not get to sully her name with your lips." I snarled. "I will ask one more time…What. Have. You. DONE?!"

Cazador pressed his neck against the blade. Mocking me. Mocking my anguish. I didn't have time for this. Anya was dying…and I watched as Lae'zel and Jaheira did everything they could to help her. No healing spell would work though. I knew better than anyone what type of blood magic this was.

"A simple blood curse," he cackled. "And one I chose to administer personally. She was so easy…so eager to please you. So when I asked her to give herself to me…she was none the wiser. For who would she trust more with her life…than the creature she had given her heart to. You delivered your love…to her death…the moment you met her, she was already mine."

The horrible realization was a knife to the gut. My darling…my love…and he had defiled her. While I slept not even several hundred feet away…he was there, masquerading as me.

My hand faltered and I looked back at Anya. Her face was ashen and tears rolled down her face as she watched me…her lips trembled, stained with blood, but I saw her mouth form the words, "I…I'm so…sorry…my…love…"

The look of utter anguish on her face tore at my insides. She felt guilt for this…and I would never be able to take that feeling from her. The distrust she would have when I held her going forward. Nothing would undo what had happened.

"The clock is ticking Astarion. Are you willing to let her die so you can live? Let me ascend and I will turn her…she can be my new favorite pet. Given her skills in the bedroom-"

I couldn't stop myself as I rammed the knife into his shoulder blade. I felt the pop and my scream matched his as the anger within my body coursed through each muscle and bone. I couldn't kill him…I needed him…needed him to save Anya. But I could at least make it hurt in the meantime.

I just hoped that she would forgive me for what I was about to do. I looked at Anya, her hand weakly outstretched and with a shaky breath I took it. I took the weak grasping fingers into my own and I pressed my lips to them repeatedly. Tears welled into my eyes and I squeezed her fingers. I kissed her. I didn't care about the blood, I didn't care about the burn I felt from the curse, all I cared about was that I did one thing right with my life…and if that was my Anya…so be it.

"I promise you…" I whispered, my throat thick with emotion. "That I will be every bit of the man…you saw in me. I won't let this change me…because…I will have you by my side…I will have an eternity to prove to you that this was worth the cost.."

"A-Ast-arion–" she wheezed, each breath labored and pained. "P-Please-"

The tears rolled down my cheeks freely and I pressed my lips more furiously against hers, living what had brought me from the brink so many times before. I would remember this moment. This would ground me. The taste of iron, the image of her being with me night after night…it would be enough, it had to be enough. If love couldn't support us through this…then it was all for not to begin with.

"I need your eyes…I need you to trust me…" I begged. "Please…I…if I don't do this, you will die. I am begging you, Anya…do not make me live this pointless eternity without you."

I could sense the hesitance in her eyes, she was afraid I would be lost to this rage…to this greed. I couldn't blame her for her reluctance. I had been the one to tell her that vampires were power hungry creatures…and I was correct. We hungered for power and for a time I was starved for it…but when I was with Anya I felt a new hunger. A hunger that only she could satiate.

I felt the tadpoles in our minds link and I had to steady myself. This burning pain…the acrid taste of her own blood and bile…the self hatred for being fooled. It just renewed my resolve. I could see the etchings on my back more clearly than ever before. I turned to Cazador.

"You called her my weakness," I growled as I forced him forward and onto his hands and knees. "Perhaps she is…but that weakness has turned into my greatest strength."

I yanked his head up so he had to watch Anya. So his eyes would hold the reason for his entire undoing. So that he could watch my weakness become his downfall. It was a true shame that I had to rush through this moment. I had to get the scars perfectly before Anya's life was lost. I had hoped to have time to savor this moment. To truly enjoy his screams of pain and agony as I delicately scarred his unmarred flesh. But I couldn't. I couldn't truly enjoy it because all the while I cut and harmed him…Anya's own blood boiled within her own body. That was the fun of blood curses…they were meant to serve as an ultimate insurance policy. Do unto the curse holder pain, and that which is cursed experiences ten fold. Her screams propelled my hand to be quicker and when it was finally over…blood drenched my clothes and the stone floor.

"Perfect…" I whispered.

I slammed his head forward. One last act of physical defiance. I took up the ornate staff he once held over me and marveled as it hummed within my almost felt like it had a heartbeat of its own. I could feel the other spawn's life forces thrumming through it. I closed my eyes briefly. I knew I was sacrificing them…but out of all that deserved to live…all that had sinned so little in comparison to what I and my siblings had done…it seemed like a fair trade.

I stole one last glance at my beloved…I would hold her vision inside my mind…she would keep me sane. She would prevent this immense amount of power from changing me. I closed my eyes and slammed the staff down once.

"Ecce dominus!" a sudden rush of magic swirled around me, pulling me. "Has animas affero in sacrificio!"

It was too much…too much power…and god's damned did it feel AMAZING. I laughed…it felt like every single cell in my body was being reborn...being re-made…and it was absolutely delicious. But as it drowned out my senses…still…I felt something small pricking at my mind. Something utterly annoying.

You can be better, you know…better than him. All I have ever wanted for you…is for you to be free and live a life you can be proud of. You can't be proud of-

"SHUT UP!" I roared. "You have no IDEA what I went through to fucking get here!"

I was so close to the cusp of what it meant to be all powerful. I was going to be the most powerful vampire lord in the realm. I was going to create an army of spawn and we were going to blot out the sun in a river of blood. I was going to rule this world and every insignificant peon would bend the knee or die at my hands.

"...Nunc volo potestatem quam pollicitus es mihi…"

I could hear their body's popping like overfilled water balloons. One then two, then three…until finally only one sacrifice remained. I wanted to watch him. Watch his eyes cloud with pain and fear as he realized that there was no eternity for him beyond this life he had chosen for himself.

I was going to relish this death more than anyone's…but just as I was about to…I felt something snap.

I love you Astarion. I will always love you.

Not the same pop that came with the other spawn that had died…this…I felt in the far recesses of my mind. I tried to reconnect to Anya's tadpole…to feel anything of my beloved's lifeforce…but it was gone. There was nothing there. And in that moment…as I watched Cazador's body burst like the pustulent piece of shit he was…The light in Anya's eyes faded and only several red tears of blood were left streaming down the bridge of her nose.

"NO!"

The red barrier of magic that had kept me from my companions dropped, and along with it my staff, my hunger, and everything glorious I had felt at the start of this ritual. I moved with a sort of speed I couldn't previously fathom, pushing Jaheira and Lae'zel both from Anya's form with what felt like a mere shove…but in all reality I heard a loud crash as they landed against one of the pillars.

"NO! NO! NO!" I begged, clutching her to me. "PLEASE! NOT HER! NOT HER!"

I rocked her back and forth, my screams the only noise crashing through the empty halls of the crypt. I screamed and sobbed for longer than any creature should be able…but I wasn't just any creature anymore. I was a Vampire Lord. I looked up as Jaheira and Lae'zel both approached.

"You have to bring her back…" I begged Jaheira. "Please? You are a druid…it's what you do!"

"...I…she has to be willing to return to her body…" she began. "But…I…I can try."

I wouldn't let her go…and as I removed every diamond, ruby, and gem that could be used for the spell. I gently rolled up the sleeve of her leather armor. I bared my fangs and bit down, taking only a few gulps of her blood.

"What are you doing?!" Lae'zel snapped. "You cannot control your hunger long enough to leave her with what blood she has left?!"

"I can't turn her unless I bite her first!" I snapped. "Once she is…alive…even if it's only just…she will bite me…and she will be immortal. A vampire."

They shared glances, but this was not up for debate. The moment I felt a slight thump in her wrist, I sliced my own forearm with my dagger and guided it into her mouth. I watched as the blood poured down her chin, and gasped as I could feel her sharp teeth bite into my flesh. It wasn't what I had anticipated…it was more. I could feel our life forces merge…we were one. Forever bound to one another. Not just as lovers, not even as vampire and spawn, but as two souls forever intertwined. The world would perish before it took either one of us from each other.

Everything after that is almost a blur. I carried Anya past the Gur, arguably the people that had started this entire catastrophe two hundred plus years ago. They were furious…angry that I had sacrificed their "children". But I had done them a favor. I had spared them having to see their children as monsters. As blood hungry scavengers that would tear them apart without the slightest form of hesitation.

I let Jaheria placate them, I had more important things to tend to. She was in my arms…dead but also not dead. She had just enough life in her for me to turn her. Now it would be a grueling next couple of hours as I watched and waited for her to be reborn.

I refused to bring her to Cazador's rooms…and mine also brought back too many memories of horrible nights locked away. So I chose somewhere else…somewhere…that I knew would be safe and empty.

I took Anya to where I was buried. Or…where I had clawed my way back to the land of the living. I held her on my lap, my back leaning against the cold tombstone and closed my eyes.

I didn't need sleep. But at the moment…I felt the weight of everything that had happened crashing down on me. What if Anya resented me for this? What if she was changed by me turning her in such a way that I had lost what I had loved most about her? It was too late for such thoughts now…but it still worried me. Her body wasn't warm anymore. The icy grip of death was finally taking hold…and her heart no longer thrummed rhythmically in her chest. It would take getting used to…but it was a small price to pay in exchange for having her for all eternity.

"You know…" I whispered, gently moving several strands of hair from her face. "I haven't been here in 200 hundred years. Not since…I had to crawl up from my own coffin. I…I am happy I get to spare you that…even if you end up hating me for making this decision for you…I am happy that you will have your freedom. And we will find a way for us both to walk in the sun together."

I didn't know why I was talking to her in these moments…maybe because I wanted her to wake up to something more than the taste of coagulated blood and stomach acid. Maybe I had selfishly wished someone had been able to talk me through it as well.

"And this is our manor now…our castle…" I laughed bitterly. "I still can't believe that…that we did it…you could have run at any moment, you know? I'm not so sure I wouldn't have. I didn't care for you when we first met…I found your vices rather insufferable if I'm being honest. And I'm still a bit bitter about how you dropped a building on me in that Gith Creche. But you were always so damn…sincere…dedicated. I'd never had someone like that in my life before…"

Her skin felt like it was made of glass now…and her complexion held the same lack of color as mine. I couldn't remember how long this would take, but somewhere inside of me I could sense we were close. I gently opened one of her eyes and frowned. They weren't the same topaz color I had come to love…they were a dark almost plum red. It was uniquely beautiful and heart breaking at the same time.

"Almost there my darling…" I sighed. "Then we will find something lovely for dinner tonight. If I had the energy, I'd say let's hunt a bear…maybe Halsin could lend us his services."

I was only half joking. She was going to be ravenous when she awoke and I refused to let the first meal she had be that of a rat or anything of that nature. I would prove that I was better than Cazador.

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