Cowritten by PuniPuni

Story is also published on AO3.

Vine was tired. An empty microwave sat upon her head as the high velocity launched her and 74.239 toward the east side of a country known as the United States.

Vine tried to keep her eyes open. 74.239 was making sure the piloting of the ship was going well. He scratched his hair while tapping his fingers on an empty space by the control pad.

"Elizabeth, stay awake."

Upon hearing that sentence, Vine closed her eyes and groaned. She wanted to do the opposite.

"Vine."

She opened her eyes. The stern ginger was staring right at her.

"This jet lag is going to be the death of me," she complained.

"That should be the least of it. You have a long day ahead of you," 74.239 groaned. "I just remembered that I have to give you your shots."

"Shots?!" Vine felt herself jolt up and grasp the handle bars of the cushioned seat she was sitting on. "The Kids Next Door do not condone shots! I thought that was very clear!"

"This is an exception, Elizabeth. Besides, it'll be quick," the boy mentioned as he put his gloves on.

"HOW COULD YOU?! Trapping me on this rocket to poke a needle in my arm?!"

"Vine, if you don't get these, you're going to get really, really sick," he approached with a needle in his hand.

"No!" she pouted. As 74.239 came closer, she swiped her hands away. He kept reaching for her hands to make her hold still, but she would not cooperate.

"Vine! Hold still! Come on, this won't take long!"

"No!" she protested as she continued to shove her arms away.

74.239 found out he was getting nowhere. He turned around and gasped.

"Is that a Venus flytrap?!"

"Where?!" Vine beamed. 74.239 then quickly turned back to poke her with the needle. She yelped.

The rocket ship made its quick way behind a nice house, in which the two human disguised operatives made their landing.

"We're here," the boy announced. He took off the microwave from Vine's head to set it aside. The door opened, the sunlight entering. It beamed on Vine's legs and body, but cut off from her head. She gasped quietly. The morning sunlight glowed from the outside. Birds were chirping.

"Let's go, Elizabeth."

Vine stepped off her seat slowly, walking toward the sunlight. She used her hand to cover her eyes when she stepped forward. The warmness of the sun embraced her skin as she came closer to the outside world. She has never been this close to a star before.

"Come on, I'll show you your house."

Vine stepped out of the ship to see herself in the backyard of a nice, high-income home. It was beautiful, covered with terracotta colors covering the outside of it. The roofs were rounded, just like the top of her head when she was in her alien form. She reached to feel for the top of her head with her hand, but only felt hair.

74.239 unpacked the rocket ship as he started to monologue. "You have two traditional parents: a mother and a father. You also have an older sister, who is an adult. To comply, we gave you a younger brother as well, who has the appearance of a toddler. We have also given you a grandmother. Each of these high tech parental robots serve a functioning purpose. Your parents can access and register you to school, provide the care for you as well as teach you things you may not know about, and in certain dire situations, protect you."

74.239 ceased his speech to toss Vine something. She caught it in her hands quickly.

"Those are the keys to the house, by the way. Don't lose them, nor let the robots lose them."

Vine looked at the shiny blue and red keys. She lifted her head to then stare at the boy.

"Well? What are you waiting for? Open the back door. It's the blue one, by the way…"

Vine attempted to try to unlock the back door. To her surprise, she figured out how locks work quickly.

The door was pushed open by the ginger boy, revealing a family waiting for her in her presence.

"Elizabeth! Darling!" The mother-appearing cyborg wrapped her cold arms around her false daughter.

"Oof-!" Vine irked at the tight hug. The uncanny valley of knowing those humans were not real made Vine feel like she was experiencing Capgras syndrome— but it was real.

"DeVine family, can you please introduce yourselves and your functions to Elizabeth here? I'll bring her luggage inside."

"Of course, Dave!" the mother spoke up. "I'm your mother! I'm going to help you with entry into school and give my consent on forums— you know, all the adult law stuff!"

The father put his hand on his wife's shoulder. "I'm your dad! I'll be in and out of the house for a job— money doesn't grow on trees, Sweetheart!"

The young adult next to Vine's father kneeled down to gently take Vine's glasses. "Let me clean those for you, OK?" She then wiped them down with her shirt sleeve. "I'm Bonnie. I'm your older sister. I help gather information about the adults here. I'm also here if you need anything," Bonnie smiled as she used her finger to gently grace a strand of hair back into Vine's bangs. "Come here, Mike!" she called gently.

The dad laughed. "This is Mike. We call him that because he has the mic in the family. Haha!"

The little boy walked up to Vine to stare at her.

"Oh, he can't speak on his own. He's actually for communication from us to you when you're inside your home, you see," 74.239 chimed in. "We will communicate through him when you need to contact us."

Vine stared at her little brother, slightly horrified. Mike smiled at her, reaching toward Vine to hug her. She backed away, but his small body hugged her. Vine felt chills.

"And your grandma is responsible for Tracking your house. OK, I think that's about it. The robots can take it from here," 74.239, finished. Bringing the luggage in, the boy willingly started to walk out the door to leave Vine.

"Hey!" Vine called out. She grabbed for the boy's arm and pulled him to herself.

"Geez! Calm down! What is it, Elizabeth?!"

"Sev— I mean, Dave," Vine's eyes went down down at the floor hesitantly, then back at the ginger. "How exactly do I… test the loyalty of Sector V? What does that mean?!"

74.239 shrugged while rolling his eyes. "Well, I wasn't the one who gave you the letter. Maybe it's a rough translation? Bonnie can give you ideas, Elizabeth. Now can you let me go?!"

Vine released her grasp on the tall boy. He scoffed. "And by the way, close your mouth when you're breathing."

Vine closed her mouth with her hands. The galactic operative left by closing the door behind him to the backyard.

Vine had awkwardly turned around to see her family still smiling and staring at her.

"Can we help you unpack?" Vine's mother asked kindly. Vine nodded reluctantly.

"They just gave me the most vague instructions!" Vine complained. "I don't even know what the kids at Sector V look like!"

"Aww, you're going to be fine…" Bonnie coaxed while patting her little sister's shoulder. The two were sitting on Vine's bed in her bedroom. "Sector V is going to the same school you'll be enrolled in. They are numbers one through five. Perfectly aligned, coincidentally," Bonnie laughed.

Vine sighed, then crossed her arms. She bit her lower lip in frustration. "When do I get to go to school?"

"Well, Mom and Dad have to register you in. And it's summer."

"When will I get to go, then?"

"In a month or two."

"UGH!" Vine pulled on her pigtails. She felt pain from doing that. "Ow!"

"Now, don't do that, hair may not hold pain receptors, but it can pull your skin."

"Nice deduction," Vine quipped. She stepped off the bed and clenched her fists, eventually kicking the drawer next to her bed with her foot lightly. She groaned.

"Hey, Elizabeth…" Bonnie reached her arm out gently. "I'm here to help you as much as I can. I don't want to see you so angry."

"Bonnie, you're not even real!" Vine complained with discomfort in her voice.

Bonnie hesitated. She looked to the ground, then back at her fake little sister. "You're right, I'm not. But you know, I was made for a good reason. I just want to help you and make sure you feel comfortable. Being on a different planet is a big, stressful change. You're a really brave girl, Sis!"

Vine stared at the ground in discomfort. She was not sure how to respond. There was nothing this artificial intelligent sister could say or do to change the scenario Vine was in— she could only be frustrated.

"Hey, I got you a present when I went shopping the other day. Take it as a welcome gift."

"A present…?" Vine felt herself raise her shoulders in some excitement, her mood turning more positive.

"Mom and Dad are making breakfast for us. You must be very hungry after that long journey here. Sunlight isn't going to cut it on Earth! Anyway, I'll show you your present after we eat at the table."

"Really?" Vine walked closer to her sister. Bonnie hopped off the bed, then held Vine's hand with hers.

"Yeah! Come on!" Bonnie grinned.

Vine felt herself smile at the nice gesture. Maybe the idea of having a robot family was not so creepy after all.

"Come, sit down. We made pancakes," Mrs. DeVine called over.

Vine found an empty chair to sit herself in. The table was set up with plates, utensils, and glasses. Vine ogled over these simple man-made artifacts. She picked up her glass of water to look through it, her eyes glowing from the light shining through the water to her face.

"Elizabeth, silly! Put the glass down," Bonnie laughed.

"Deary, did you have anything to eat before you came here?" her grandmother asked.

"Um," Vine hesitated after losing focus on the glass. "No. Just some water, though."

"You must be hungry! Oh, Elizabeth, eat something!" her grandmother pleaded.

"Yeah, I am hungry…" Vine whispered.

"Hi hungry, I'm Dad!" Mr. DeVine laughed.

Vine picked up one of the pancakes on her plate that had syrup on it with her hands. She held it close to her mouth, but then put it down.

"Um, why are you guys eating them too?" Vine asked, not sure if she wanted to hear the answer.

"Well, how do you think we recharge?" her grandmother smiled.

Vine looked at them all awkwardly, even her little brother. She stared at the syrup on her hands instead.

"Oh, let me help you with that…" Bonnie insisted.

The older sister took her time to instruct Vine about how to use a fork and knife. It was not like she was not familiar with the utensils, but there was proper etiquette for each different type of dish.

Vine's eyes lit up upon eating her first bite of a pancake. It tasted so good. Vine had now eaten her first bite of food with a tongue. A sense of taste was something she never had as an uvinea.

Vine was ecstatic at the fact that she had the privilege to eat. She even had the chance to do it three times a day now that she was a human. There were lots of foods to try that she learned humans could make— and she was joyful about it.

Vine and her family had finished up their breakfast. Vine was then taught to wash her hands after every meal. She felt a little uncomfortable knowing that robots had to eat to recharge, so she did not want to think about it too much.

"Come here," Bonnie cheerfully called Vine over with a little bag in her hands. "I promised to give you this."

Vine excitedly rushed toward her older sister with curiosity. She grabbed the bag from Bonnie's hands. She removed the tissue paper. She gasped. Vine removed her brand new device from the bag.

"It's a brand new camera! I thought it would be nice," Bonnie sang to herself. "If you have any questions about the things on Earth, you can take a photo and we'll tell you what it is! Use it to your heart's content, Elizabeth!"

"Oh Bonnie, thank you so much!" Vine came forward to hug her.

"Oh, it's nothing!"

Bonnie picked up her little sister to spin her around while they both giggled. Vine then started to adore the fact she had a robot family.

The rest of the day was filled with a lot of bonding between the fake family and Vine, as she did not mind the fact that they were not real anymore. Her family, mostly Bonnie, taught her daily routines that every human does throughout the day. Vine's parents would snuggle up to her on the couch to watch the news. But that was boring, so Vine asked to watch human cartoons. They were very colorful and entertaining. Her dad could not help but laugh at the cheesy jokes in the show and even made some himself.

Mike peaked Vine's curiosity. Since he did not speak for himself, it was her only option to ask questions he could either shake his head or nod to. If he was a cyborg that would be controlled with a controller, speaker, and microphone from a galactic operative, did he have free will as a robot, or were his questions being answered by an operative? When Mike answered yes to the question that he had free will, except for the times when he was being controlled, Vine felt her head get dizzy from thinking about it too much.

There were many foods Vine could try to eat as the day went on. During lunch, she was told that sandwiches come in all sorts of combinations. With this information, there was a lot to try what would be the best taste combination. The family members of Vine could not participate, as they had no taste buds. There was a lot of trial and error with these sandwiches, especially since Vine still had the urge to get minerals from the soil into her body. The fact that humans did not have soil in their diet at all did not stop her from this instinct.

Eventually, the evening came by, and the sky was turning pink. Vine asked Bonnie to watch the sunset with her.

"Can you give me a moment? I'm finishing the dishes," Bonnie would reply.

It was not that big of a deal. Vine's first day on Earth went great. There were plenty more days to come and days to end. There would be seasons to experience, food to try out, clothes to try on, and humans to talk to.

Vine leaned against the rail on the back porch, sighing deeply through her mouth. She blinked slowly, getting tired. She leaned her chin on her arms to watch the sun fall, the sky changing color slowly.

Out of the corner of Vine's eye, she saw a small arachnid crawl closer to her on the rail. She gently lifted her finger out to the creature. The spider stopped moving at first, but then touched its front legs with her fingertip. She smiled.

"Elizabeth!" a strange voice called out.

Startled, Vine jolted. The spider scurried away.

"What is it?!" she hissed rudely, turning around. "I'm watching the sunse—"

Mike stood in the doorway with an intense expression on his face.

"Mike!"

"No, Elizabeth. This is Numbuh Infinity. On Earth, you shall address me as my disguise name: Phil Anansi."

Vine was shocked to see her toddler brother with a hostile look on his face, his fists tightly grabbing his soft blankie. He spoke in the accent the operative had, but his voice was just that of a toddler's.

"Make it quick!" Vine barked.

"No can do, this is important. You'll have to come inside."

"What?!" Vine gasped. "Oh, come on!"

"Follow me," Mike directed as he waved his hand to signal her to come toward him. Vine groaned with disdain, reluctantly following her little brother inside. As Vine closed the door behind her, Mike came closer to her.

"We have an important message from the soopreme leader of Earth, Numbuh 274. He needs to meet you, Elizabeth. I'm assuming Numbuh 9L told you about him?"

"Yes, she did…" Vine grumpily remarked. She did notice that when Mike spoke, she could vaguely see the microphone in the back of his throat.

"He'll show up at the door in a moment. He wants to give you specific information about Sector V."

"But—!"

"No buts, Elizabeth! Remember, you're meeting a real human."

That sentence made Vine realize that she could become excited for this. Finally, time to meet a real human boy!

Vine rushed to the front door to awkwardly wait. She folded her hands together while looking out the peephole. She then turned back at Mike, who was now sucking his thumb.

Suddenly, a rocket blast noise became present from outside. Vine gasped in excitement, opening the door to see a young blond boy dressed in 2x4 armor, descending down onto the front door with a fire extinguisher jetpack.

"Hi!" Vine waved excitedly.

Numbuh 274 landed gracefully to then dust himself off. "You must be Numbuh Vine, yes?"

"Hehehe! You must be Numbuh 274!"

"Yes, that's me. But you can call me Chad."

Vine reached up to hug the blond boy. "You're a real human! Eeeee!"

"Whoa! Easy there!"

"I can't believe it!" Vine squeezed the boy tighter. "I get to meet a real one!" She let go of him, holding his hands while jumping up and down. "You're the soopreme leader of the Earth's Kids Next Door! You're a real human! And you're so tall… and you have great hair!"

"Yes, I'm real," the operative laughed to himself. "May I come inside?"

Vine invited Chad to step inside her home. Her parents and grandmother had asked who this boy was, so Vine had to explain to them that it was fine for Numbuh 274 to know about everything. Numbuh 274, in return, would find out they are robots with high technology. It made his lip quiver from the uncanniness.

Eventually, Chad would sit down at the dinner table to talk to Vine. He took his helmet off to brush out his hair with his fingers.

"Well, I'm here to tell you about the operative you should test for your mission. Numbuh Aleph Zero informed about that mission he gave you."

"Aleph Zero…?" Vine started to whisper. "He's the one that gave me the mission?"

"Yes. He's been quite interested in Earth."

Vine twiddled her thumbs. Numbuh Aleph Zero is the highest ranking leader of the Galactic Kids Next Door. He is the top dog. She had only heard of him, but never did anyone she knew had seen what he looked like, or if he was even a "he" at all.

"Anyway, I think you should focus on Sector V's leader: Nigel Uno. He's very serious about his position as a leader and what he does for the Kids Next Door."

"Nigel Uno, huh?" Vine gave a side-eyed stare at Chad. "What kind of name is that?"

"He's a bald kid, about your age. He wears sunglasses often."

"He sounds silly. Where can I find this weird looking boy?"

"Well, that's the thing, Numbuh Vine. I'm having him come to you."

The girl tilted her head in confusion. "Excuse me?"

"Yes. I have two villains on my tail right now. I'll call him to deal with them, and then he can save you."

Suddenly, a large boom was heard from above. Vine felt her heart sink.

"You don't plan on hurting my little sister, do you?" Bonnie interrupted, giving a stern glare at the 12-year old.

"N-no, not at all," Chad affirmed nervously. "Come on, Vine."

"What?!"

Vine's hand was grabbed by Chad's. He rushed her outside as the sun had already disappeared from the sky, the horizon turning orange. Vine had missed the sunset.

"Where are you taking me?! You better answer me right now!"

"Sorry, Vine, no time! They're after us right now!"

"LET GO OF ME!"

When Chad rushed Vine to the park, he let go of her hand. He turned on his jetpack. "I'm sorry! I can make it up to you later!"

"HEY! Come back here!" Vine yelled, but it was too late. The leader had flown all the way out of her sight.

Vine turned around nervously, continuing to hear booms every few seconds. She scanned the playground frantically to try to observe where she could hide, or if she could use her environment to her advantage. She had none of her technology. She felt scared. Vine ran to hide behind a slide.

Vine clenched her fists tightly. "When I get my hands on that Chad kid I'm gonna—!"

The girl was interrupted when a giant metal foot crushed the slide right behind her, booming into her ears while jumping her off the ground from the weight.

"It looks like this kid is in the way of our plans to destroy the playground, Mr. Wink."

"Indeed, Mr. Fibb."

Vine looked up to see two adult men— one resembling a pinniped and one resembling a bovine.

"HEY! Get away from this playground, NOW!" Vine shouted. It was her only defense.

"Looks like we'll have to play this the hard way, don't you think, Mr. Fibb?"

"I think so, Mr. Wink."

The other leg of the Super-Chair Robot lifted up, growing spikes from the bottom. Vine dashed out of the way to dodge the spiked foot. She fell while avoiding it.

"Hold still, you pesky girl," the tusked one said.

Vine gasped. She scurried on her hands to lift herself up to run away toward the swings. She stepped on one of them with both her feet, launching herself back to use it to jump on one of the robot's legs. Vine would try to climb up, but her limbs were not as resourceful for that type of task like her tendrils were. She slipped down.

"How pathetic," the horned one said.

One of the four red gloved hands reached to grab for Vine, plucking her from the robotic limb like a leaf. She was squeezed tightly.

"Our plan to turn the playground into a parking lot for the adults will not be stopped by some random girl."

"Go back home to your parents, strange one. This doesn't involve you."

Vine tried to release herself from the grasp of the red glove, but it was no use.

As the was being launched back from the hands, she expected to be thrown by the Super-Chair Robot. She struggled to release herself in time.

"LET GO OF THAT GIRL!" a voice roared.

The glass dome holding the two hybrids turned around to inspect where the noise was coming from. Zooming through the air on rocket-powered shoes was a bald ten-year old boy in sunglasses. He carried a device known as the G.U.M.Z.O.O.K.A., shooting gumballs straight at the glass dome holding the two villains. It cracked, leaving the remote control in the bovine's hand to be frantically messed with. Losing balance from trying to step away, the glove dropped Vine.

"HANG ON!" the British boy shouted. He swooped down, successfully grabbing the girl. He brought himself and her both down to a slow descent, landing gently.

The bald kid used one of his hands to shield Vine while the other hand continued pulling the trigger to fire gumballs at the villain duo.

The two adults used their Super-Chair Robot to walk away, fleeing to prevent any more gumballs from cracking the glass.

"We'll be back!" one of them shouted. A gumball broke through the glass from behind them, hitting one of them in the butt. "Ouch!"

The boy lowered his weapon. He sighed. He turned hurriedly.

"Are you OK?"

The boy's face changed from a serious to an innocent expression when Vine was letting tears fall from her eyes.

"Hey, it's OK. They're gone now. You didn't get hurt or anything, did you?"

"This is the worst day of my life."

The boy reached his arm out to help Vine stand back up on her feet. She reluctantly took his hand and stood up, sniffling.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Vine, utilizing the third rule as a human, spoke.

"First, I get to go the hospital with a bunch of doctors I don't know after getting all this immense pain in my body. Then they make it rough and tease me when they try to get me to stand and walk again. And all my favorite stuff was confiscated! Then I get shots in my arm before I come here. I make it all the way here— I just moved here! I get settled in with my family, thinking everything is fine, and then some kid just has to lure me outside here, so those stupid animal-people can attack me on a playground!" Sprinkling in some truth, Vine felt confident her rant did not sound suspicious. Though, she was scared that her story would not add up. She was ready to give up and let the bald boy run away after his rescue was finished. She then sat down, starting to tuck her knees toward her chest to hide her bawling. She was done for the day. Vine wanted nothing else bad to happen.

"Wow, that sounds so stressful. You were in the presence of adults that treated you so horribly. Hey now," the boy interrupted by resting his warm hand on her shoulder. "It's going to be OK. You can talk about it to me if you want. You're safe now."

Vine lifted her head. Her eyes and nose were wet from crying.

"Let me get that for you," he suggested. He took the girl's glasses to rub the glass on his sweatshirt to clean them. Vine rubbed her eyes.

"Here," he gently put the glasses back on her. She laughed a little from his gesture. He was smiling politely, stroking her shoulder to make sure she was going to feel better. "You deserved none of that. Adults are terrible, terrible people. I'm Numbuh 1 of the Kids Next Door. My duty is to protect children no matter the cost. I'll be happy to walk you back home if you'd like, or just stay with you. It's not safe to be out at night."

Vine smiled awkwardly. This boy was being so kind to her. He actually listened to her. It made Vine relax knowing this kid was sympathetic toward her venting.

Numbuh 1 reached his hand to help the girl up. She wiped her nose with her arm. She smiled at the gesture.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"I'm Elizabeth…"

"Elizabeth? What a pretty name. I'm Nigel."

Someone agreed that her name was pretty. It made Vine feel special. Finally, someone agreed with her. The name Elizabeth was pretty.

"Nice to meet you, Nigel."

"It's nice to meet you too, Elizabeth. Want to get out of here?"

Vine nodded with the smile still on her face.

The sun was long gone, so the stars were out. The day was over, but it was not so bad after all. Nigel reached to hold Vine's hand. She led the boy to the direction of her house.

"You know, you can call me if you need any help. I can give you my number."

"But you already told me you're Numbuh 1."

Nigel chuckled. "No, silly. My Kids Next Door emergency contact number. Here," Nigel stated as he rolled up his sleeve to reveal a 2x4 watch. It printed a small piece of paper from underneath it. He pulled it off to gave it to Vine. "You can call me if you need anything. The Kids Next Door are always looking out for children in danger."

When Nigel put the piece of paper in Vine's hand, his cheeks turned red as he cupped his hand over hers.

"Thank you, Nigel," Vine bubbled.

The boy cleared his throat, putting his hand behind his back. He was still holding her hand with his other one.

"You just got out of the hospital, huh?" Nigel muttered aside to her.

"…Yeah."

"What for?"

Vine tried to think of a story to make up, but Nigel spoke before she could think of something.

"It's OK, you don't have to tell me. That's probably personal," he genuinely interrupted.

Nigel's warm hand continued to squeeze Vine's as she led the boy back to where she lived. There was not much exchanged through conversation on the way back, as the trip was short. Eventually, they let go of their hands as Vine made it to the front door.

"Hey, Elizabeth, do you want to be friends?"

This was going easy for Vine. She could relatively check in on Nigel if they were friends.

"Yeah! You're really cool."

"Well, Eliza— hey, do you mind if I call you Lizzie? Your name is quite long. N-not that that's a bad thing!"

The nickname "Lizzie" made Vine's eyes widen with sparkles inside them. It was even prettier than Elizabeth— and so much cuter!

"Lizzie? I love that! Yeah, you should call me Lizzie!"

Nigel chuckled to himself. His lips quivered as he fidgeted with his hands.

"Well, I-I should be going," he stammered. "Have a g-good night, Lizzie! Call me. I-if there's an emergency!"

"Bye Nigel!" Vine waved as she opened the door to her house, walking back inside to close the door behind her.

Nigel sighed. "Yes!" he whispered to himself in excitement. He held his hands in fists, shaking them. He tapped his feet as he stepped away from her house. His face was red, but he did not notice it. He clicked his shoes together twice to active the jet power, then flew away.