A/N: Hi, guys. The bug hasn't been corrected so far, so I still have no ideia how many people have been reading this. Therefore, I want to say a big thank you for those who have left reviews. I'm counting on you guys again for this chapter, which by the way is filled with romance and drama.
You know me! Jott can never be Jott without a hell lotta suffering. That's what makes them so special!
Also, the Lone Wolf is cute. 'Nuff said.
Chapter 14 – The Proposal.
I woke up to the delightful feeling of a gentle man caressing my cheek. After a moment, my sleepy eyes opened to meet Scott's.
"Morning, beautiful," he whispered. The bedroom was quite dim, but I could distinguish a content grin on his lips. A warm sensation arose in my belly.
"Morning, Sheriff," I replied, smiling too. Before he could scold me for not using his name, I pulled his face to mine and kissed him with all the affection I felt.
We ended up making love again, tenderly, unhurriedly. Scott must have kissed every inch of my body, his sweet devotion sending tears to my eyes.
"What's wrong, Laura? Have I hurt you?" he inquired as we laid facing each other again. I'm sure he didn't imagine that I had been a virgin before last night; still, he worried.
"Not at all, dear. I'm just happy. They're happy tears."
We stayed silent for a while just looking at each other. Suddenly, he blurted out, "Marry me."
My heart started hammering against my ribcage. "Wh-what?"
He gripped both of my hands under the covers. "Marry me, Laura. Be my wife. I love you – I don't want to spend another day without you."
I didn't know what to respond or how to feel. Becoming Scott Summers's wife would certainly make me the happiest woman alive; the problem was, I was already married. And so was he.
"B-But…" I hesitated. I wrapped the blanket around my chest and supported myself on one elbow to better see his face. "You're still married, Scott."
An amused chuckle left his throat. "I'm pretty sure my matrimony became annulled the minute Madelyne hopped up on my brother's horse," he pointed out. He mirrored my position so he could look me in the eye. "Us getting married won't turn into a new scandal, if that's what you're worried about."
The sheriff couldn't be more mistaken on the subject of my vacillation. What worried me wasn't becoming the protagonist of another scandal but spending the rest of my life lying to him. To marry Scott, I would need to arrange a fake birth certificate stating that I had been born in Canada and was indeed a Howlett. Also, how was I supposed to dye my hair every month without him noticing it? And more important, I could never let him see me naked during daylight otherwise he would realize I was a redhead. All of a sudden, sleeping with the man I loved began to feel like a terrible mistake.
"If you want to, we can ask for Father Xavier's opinion, but I already know what his answer will be," Scott continued. "And of course, I'll talk to your brother and ask for his blessing. I know how protective Logan is of you – he made it clear to me yesterday."
My eyebrows raised in surprise. "Really? What did he say to you?"
"Nothing unexpected, actually… only that you've had your share of heartbreak in life and that he expected me to treat you right."
"Oh."
I was still shocked with how that Sunday morning was turning out, and it wasn't even dawn yet. However, it didn't escape my mind that I hadn't given the sheriff an answer. He certainly noticed it as well, for he took my hands in his again and pled, "Say you'll marry me, Laura… please! I love you, and so does Nathan. We need you."
Marrying that man and raising his child was all that I desired but nothing I could have. I felt new tears forming in my eyes. "I… I love you too, Scott… with all my heart. It's just-" I looked at his face and saw expectancy and dread stamped on his features. I was about to break his heart and he knew it. "I-I uh… I need some time to… to think this straight. This -us- is happening so fast that I… I don't know how to feel. Let me… let me think about it for a few days… alright?"
His look became miserable the second the words left my mouth. Once again, I felt awful that I couldn't tell him the truth – not even that I could never marry him, no matter how much I wanted to. I was so sick of lying and pretending, especially to Scott. He didn't deserve that.
"Alright. Fine. I can wait a few days. No problem there," he lied to me. He was clearly hurting. Nothing was fine.
"We, uh… we should get dressed. It's beginning to dawn, and I need to get home. Logan and Kitty must be worried."
"You're right, of course. We better leave before Nathan wakes up."
The sheriff quickly put on his clothes and exited the bedroom to give me some privacy. I dressed myself and peeked out of the window. The town seemed to be asleep still, the only movement coming from the cold wind blowing the remaining leaves off the elm trees.
I found Scott downstairs, in the kitchen. He handed me a cup of coffee and the bonnet I had left in his living room the previous night. He barely looked at my face in the process.
"We should get going," he warned me as I finished my coffee.
We rode on his stallion's back like we had done on several occasions, but the awkward silence between us made it feel completely different this time. How unfortunate it is to learn that the person you're in love with loves you back, only to realize you'll never be able to fulfill that love! Ironically, I hadn't needed Scott to break my heart. I had done it for the both of us.
We were practically at the ranch's entrance when we spotted Victor Creed coming from the opposite side of the road. I tensed up on the saddle and reached for the revolver in my handbag just in case. As our mount passed his, Creed sneered cruelly at us and yelled, "Hope the broad didn't smell like Logan, pal. That old dog's stink must be hard to get rid of." Then he laughed loudly and sped away before the sheriff could utter a word.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Scott questioned me.
"I-I have no idea. That man's a brute, and a bully. Who knows what goes through his evil mind?"
"Huh."
When we arrived at the ranch, the sheriff helped me to dismount the horse, then climbed back on the animal, tipped his cowboy hat, and wished me a good day. I impulsively grabbed the reins before he could leave.
"I do love you, Scott. Believe me."
He nodded once, his face unreadable. "See you on Monday, Miss Howlett."
The sheriff hadn't called me that in days, and his cold voice sent a shiver down my spine. When he was out of sight, I dropped on my knees to the dirty ground and allowed myself to cry my eyes out.
A moment later, I felt a calloused palm resting on my left shoulder. "Darlin'… this was supposed to be a happy mornin' for ya. What happened?"
I glanced up at James over my shoulder. "God, Logan… Scott… he asked me to marry him," I revealed between sobs.
"Shit. What did ya say?"
"That I… that I needed to think. You know that I can't marry him… no matter how much I want to… no matter how deeply I love him. I'm married to Jason."
Logan let go of my shoulder and crouched in front of me. "Are ya? I thought ya're a Howlett… my unmarried baby sister."
I snorted at that. "Come on, Logan… I can't spend the rest of my life lying… especially not to Scott. He doesn't deserve that."
My 'brother' wiped away my tears and lifted my chin so he could look me in the eye. "Jeannie, darlin'… I hate to tell ya this, but lyin's the only way ya're gonna live the rest of your life. I know it 'cause that's what I've been doin' for the last ten years. Accept that, and your sufferin' will end. Ya gotta let yourself be happy for once in your lifetime."
Despite his simple manners, James was a wise man. He had committed his share of sins in the past and had atoned for each one of them. That said, he could relate to what I was going through. But could guilty and happiness coexist in one being? I didn't think so.
"But do I deserve to be happy, Logan? I'm a monster! I tried to kill my husband's boss, then set his house on fire. I ran away from the consequences of my actions and all I accomplished was to put you, Ororo and Kurt at risk."
James held my face within his two hands and spoke firmly, "I'm gonna say it for the last time, Jean… Ya were just defendin' yourself! Sebastian Shaw and that scum ya married are the monsters! The only thing ya're guilty of is choosin' your husband poorly, and even that's more on your father than on ya. Now pull yourself together and quit takin' the second chances life's been givin' ya for granted!"
He stood up and helped me up as well. I looked down at my dirty dress, afraid of what I had yet to tell him.
"Logan… the sheriff and I met Victor Creed on our way here. He insinuated to Scott that I've been sleeping with you."
"Have we been sleepin' together, Red?"
"No," I replied. That had happened once, months ago – before Ororo, before Scott. I had been hurt and lost, and James had comforted me. There was nothing but friendship between us nowadays.
"Then we got nothin' to worry about. Creed's a crud and the people of this town know it. It's your word against his."
"But-"
"No buts. If ya love Summers, ya marry him and spend the rest of your life with him – lyin', yes; but happy. Trust me, he'll never suspect of his own wife. And if he ever finds out the truth someday, ya tell him the circumstances that made ya attack Shaw. If he truly loves ya, he'll forgive ya. D'ya understand that?"
I sighed. "I don't know, Logan."
"Think about it. Now go make us breakfast before Kitty wakes up and decides to cook."
I smiled at his disgusted face. James walked back to the house while I stayed a little longer in the front lawn putting my thoughts in order.
If there was one thing these last five months on the run had taught me was to be brave. Looking back, I realized I no longer was the insecure, submissive young woman I had been with Jason. I was much stronger now, much more courageous. And isn't that exactly what it takes to be happy? A hell lot of courage.
Perhaps I could still mend my newly started relationship with Scott. With a little effort and a lot of caution, maybe I could indeed become Mrs. Summers.
A spark of hope heated up my heart. I decided that tomorrow I was going to tell the sheriff that nothing would make me happier than becoming his wife. We were going to live long, joyful lives, and years from now no one would even remember that Jean Wyngarde had existed.
When I entered the kitchen, the Wind Rider looked up from the sewing she had been doing and grinned at me.
"Fire Bringer's heart is in peace," she declared.
She was right.
On the following Monday, I arrived at the Summers residency twenty minutes earlier hoping to talk to Scott before he left for work. I had rehearsed what I was going to say at least ten times and I was confident he would accept my apologies for not having given his marriage proposal an immediate answer. After a whole day of pondering, I was finally ready to say yes to him.
With my heart beating fast, I knocked on his door. To my great surprise it was his sister who opened it.
"Lorna! I didn't know you were back! How are you feeling?" I asked, hugging her tightly. She looked much better than the last time I'd seen her.
"I'm fine, thank you. Scott decided to bring me home yesterday, and bless the Lord, Sister McTaggert agreed to it!" she replied cheerfully.
"I'm very glad to hear it," I told her sincerely. "Nathan must be thrilled that you're back."
"He is," Lorna nodded, and her smile abruptly faded. She was still standing on the doorway, and I found it odd that she hadn't invited me in.
"I know I'm a bit early," I said. "I was hoping to have a word with your brother before Nate's classes begin."
"I'm afraid my brother's not home," she informed me, sounding uncomfortable. "He left really early for work, but he did ask me to give you this."
She handed me an envelope with the Summers family monogram on its surface. I knew that I would find my weekly payment inside; except that this time, there was also a letter in the sheriff's handwriting. It said that my tutoring was no longer required and that he and Nathan thanked me for my dedication so far.
"I… I-I don't understand. Lorna, why would Scott dismiss my services? I'm a good tutor, and Nathan needs his education," my hands trembled, and my eyes filled with tears. "I-I know I've hurt your brother, and I had every intention of making it right with him this morning. We love each other. So why? Why is he doing this to me?"
The girl eyed me with sympathy. "I really don't know, Laura. He hasn't told me anything."
I had figured that. The sheriff was a closed off man; I doubted he would've shared his feelings with others.
I took a deep breath to try to calm myself. "Can I… can I see Nate? I'd like to say goodbye to him."
Lorna shook her head. "I'm sorry. I have orders not to let you approach him."
"Oh God!" I uttered. I knew I had offended Scott, but I had no idea it had been so deeply. I reached for the young woman's hands. "Lorna, I really love your brother… I love him like I've never loved any man in my life. Please, tell him not to push me away. Please."
She smiled sadly at me. "I'll try. I promise."
"Thank you." I cleaned the moist from my eyes and retrieved a copy of 'The Adventures of Tom Sawyer' from my handbag. "Could you please give this book to Nathan? I bought it for him last week… I wanted him to read it for our English classes."
"Sure, Laura. Thanks."
I nodded miserably and turned around to leave, hearing Lorna closing the door behind me. I glanced one last time at the house, and behind the second-floor window I saw Nate watching me. He waved to me as desolately as I waved back to him. Another innocent victim of my sins, I thought to myself as I let my tears run freely.
I walked alone to the ranch, too sad to be concerned about my safety. Why was Scott being so cruel to me? He had said that he'd give me the time I needed to think about his proposal. What had changed?
A different thought crossed my mind: what if all that he had wanted from me was one night in his bed? I hadn't taken him for that kind of gentleman, but at this point of my life I was aware that I was terrible at judging men's intentions. And that's what Summers was at the end of the day – a man.
But no, that didn't make sense. Scott had proposed to me after our lovemaking, not before as a lure to convince me to sleep with him. Plus, by firing me he was jeopardizing Nathan's education, and if there was one thing Sheriff Summers would never do was to deliberately harm his son.
Therefore, something graver must have happened, and the only thing I could think of was he discovering my true identity. If so, in the next few hours a bunch of lawmen would be storming into the ranch to arrest me and my 'family'.
Hopeless and dejected, I no longer cared for what they did to me. Still, I had to warn the Howletts and make sure they didn't suffer for my mistakes.
Three broken hearts was enough for one damned morning.