This update is proof that it won't be a whole year before another new chapter. As always, thank you for the reviews!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. This chapter title comes from the song "First Day on a Brand New Planet" by Jesse James.

The homeroom situation did not start off well.

Finn would always say hello to her as soon as she sat down. Sometimes, Rachel would give him a small smile in return; other times, she ignored him completely. Homeroom lasted for half an hour, and it was half an hour that Rachel struggled to get through every day. They also shared European Lit, a free period, and lunch hour together.

Thankfully, Puck was also in their European Lit class, Santana was in their free period, and all of their friends shared the same lunch hour. So home room was the only time that Rachel was forced into close contact with Finn. They were a whole week into the new school year, and it wasn't getting any easier.

Quinn tried her best to as supportive as possible. She lived with Rachel and they had developed a close friendship, but she was friends with Finn as well. It was a literal example of being stuck between a rock and a hard place, and she would offer both sympathetic smiles from the next row over in home room.

Another week passed. Rachel tried hard to focus on her classes and preparing for the fall drama production of Much Ado About Nothing. She hung out with Puck, Santana, and Quinn, and got her job back at Anne's Café. She tried to make herself as busy as possible so that she wouldn't have to think about Finn—but it wasn't working.

She was married to Finn, after all. They had made exactly zero decisions about their marriage since the end of their junior year. They hadn't even come close to discussing what would happen next with them. And all of that just reminded Rachel that neither of them had discussed Funny Girl or First Down. A serious discussion needed to happen between the two of them, and Rachel knew that it was going to be intense. She had been putting it off, but at least she knew that Finn was doing the same thing. Outside of saying hi to her at homeroom and sitting at the same table as her during lunch hour, he hadn't tried to communicate with her.

It was getting exhausting, constantly being on edge. As the third week of their senior year came to a close, Rachel was nearing the end of her rope. She had noticed that Finn wasn't being nearly as charming during home room, as well. He still said hello to her, but he had moved on to watching her with sad eyes. It was enough to drive Rachel insane, especially because there was a part of her—bigger than she wanted to admit—that was just as sad as Finn was.

So she settled for bitching about it to Puck. She had complained to Santana and Quinn as well, but they remained annoyingly diplomatic about it. Even though Puck was Finn's brother, he had been Rachel's best friend first, and as such, was obligated to listen to Rachel complain.

"He's just so sad when I see him now, Noah." Rachel knew that she was whining, but she couldn't bring herself to care.

She and Puck were sitting in the café after it had closed, sharing a plate of grilled cheese sandwiches and French fries. Before Finn, before football, before everything, this is what they had spent most of their nights doing. With all of the changes in their lives, it was nice to be able to come back to something that was just for them.

"Um, maybe that's because he is said, Berry," Puck pointed out. "What did you expect? You're his wife, and you won't talk to him."

Rachel picked up a fry and dipped it in ketchup, watching it swirl around so she didn't have to look Puck in the eye. "I'm sorry, he wasn't exactly talking to me when he put me on a train to New York, did he?" She knew that she was setting herself up for Puck's inevitable response, but she couldn't resist saying it anyway. It was true after all.

Just as she knew he would, Puck immediately retorted, "You didn't talk to him either! It's not like you even told him what was going on with Funny Girl, anyway."

Rachel balled up her napkin and threw it at her so-called best friend. "Hello, I thought you were supposed to be on my side!"

Puck sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face, reminding Rachel that no matter how much they pretended, things had changed. Puck was close with Finn now, and they were really and truly brothers. This was hard for him, too.

"I am on your side, Rachel," Puck finally said. "But I'm on Finn's side, too. I care about both of you, and I want you both to be happy. You love each other so much. Would it kill you to talk to him a little bit? At least say hi to him in return?"

Rachel pushed the plate that they had been sharing away from her, suddenly losing her appetite. She stared at the table and finally said something that had been on her mind since July: "What if love isn't enough?"

Puck's mouth dropped open. Out of all of the things that Rachel could have said to him, that sentence had never even crossed Puck's mind. "What?"

"Just… there was something wrong. We didn't talk to each other. And yes, I love Finn. I love him so much that it hurts. And I suppose… I suppose I know that he still loves me. It's hard to remember, sometimes." Tears burned in her eyes, and Rachel blinked rapidly to try and keep them at bay. "Is love enough for us? Why didn't we talk to each other last year? What were we thinking?"

As soon as he saw the sheen of tears in Rachel's eyes, Puck jumped out of his chair and knelt down next to Rachel's, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and hugging her to him. Rachel let the tears spill over then, allowing herself to cry against her best friend's shoulder. She hadn't let herself cry since July, and she knew that she had been overdue for an emotional release like this.

Once Rachel's tears had subsided, Puck handed her a wad of napkins to dry her face with. "That's a question that you and Finn are going to have to answer for yourselves."

Rachel mopped up her tears and bit her lip as she inhaled a shaky breath. That's what she had been afraid of.

For the following week at school, Rachel couldn't even bring herself to look at Finn, let alone say hello to him. She knew that she was only prolonging the inevitable, so she resolved to finally talk to him after the first football game of the season, which was that Friday.

Rachel went, of course. Quinn was still trying to convince her to be a cheerleader, and Rachel was annoyed to find that she was actually considering it. She tried to tell herself that it would be a good way to keep up with any dance and gymnastic skills she needed for future theater tryouts, along with being a good way to round out her applications for college. Really, though, she knew that she was considering it because it would be a way for her to be closer to Finn, without actually having to talk to him.

The conflicting feelings were too confusing, and Rachel knew that there was only one way to get over it. So she watched the football game, amazed at how good the Lima Titans were. They had won their first game handily, and Rachel had finally sucked up her nerves and texted Finn, telling him to meet her at the River Park so that they could talk.

He was already there by the time she arrived. He looked hopeful, but was obviously trying his very hardest not to, which made Rachel's heart squeeze in her chest. He was wearing jeans, a white t-shirt, and his letterman jacket, his hair messy and pushed back from his forehead. He looked so good, and Rachel felt a pang of want and desire course through her. This was all just so unfair.

Finn gave her a small, lopsided smile. "Hey, Rach."

Despite it all—the tumultuous feelings within her, the events of the past six months—she found herself smiling in return. "Hi, Finn."

They stared at each other for several long moments, smiling at one another. It got to the point that it was actually kind of ridiculous, but neither of them could help it. For the first time in months, they were alone together, without anyone watching them, waiting to see what would happen.

Finally, Finn cleared his throat. "So. I guess you wanted to talk?"

"Um, yeah." Rachel shoved her hands in the pockets of her jeans and walked two steps closer to Finn on the field. "I just figured, now that we're back and we're in school again, and everything, we should try to figure out what… what happens next."

"What do you want to happen?" Finn asked immediately. He couldn't stop the hope from welling within him, even though there was something inside him trying to caution him against it. It wouldn't be just as easy as her saying that she wanted to be with him, as much as he wanted it to be.

"That's just it." Rachel dragged her hands through her hair, finally showing how agitated she truly was. "I don't know what I want to happen!" She watched Finn's face fall, and she made an annoyed noise. "Finn, there's a part of me that wants nothing more than to just run back into your arms and kiss you and act like this whole summer never happened. But I can't, okay? Because there's another part of me that thinks I might never forget the way I felt when you put me on that train."

"Rachel—"

"How can I trust you again, Finn? How?"

It was like something had snapped inside Finn, then. He knew that he hadn't handled the situation the best way—he'd had more than one person tell him as much since he'd put Rachel on the train, after all. He knew that he should have told her about First Down, and he knew that he shouldn't have just stuck her on the train without telling her.

After finding out that Rachel had kept the part in Funny Girl from him, he'd made the decision for both of them. At the time, he thought it would just be easier—that way, Rachel wouldn't be forced to choose between him and her dream. He made the choice for her, he'd taken himself out of the equation. It was only recently that Finn was realizing that at least a part of that decision had come for a place of hurt. He'd been upset that Rachel felt like she couldn't tell him about Funny Girl, and he'd been hurt that she hadn't given them the chance to figure it out together. So he'd done the same thing to her.

His next words came from that same place of hurt. "I could say the same thing about you, you know."

Rachel deflated at that, the fight leaving her in the face of the truth. "I know," she whispered. "I know. I started this whole thing. If I had just told you about Funny Girl from the beginning…"

Despite it all, Finn couldn't stand to see the look of heartbreak on Rachel's face. He stepped towards her, reaching out, but stopped just short of actually touching her. His arm dropped back to his side. "What now?" he asked.

They had both finally said it out loud. That trust had been broken between them, by both of them. They had both made a mess of this situation. Rachel couldn't avoid him any longer, and Finn couldn't pretend that he could just win her back without acknowledging what had happened.

Rachel wrapped her arms around herself. She could feel the hot burn of tears in her eyes, but she was determined not to cry in front of Finn. "Why didn't we talk to each other?" She wasn't really sure she expected an answer, but she had to ask anyway. "Why didn't we try to communicate what was going on, what we were feeling?"

Finn's jaw jutted out in frustration, and he looked out over the field for a long moment. "I don't know," he finally said. "Because we were scared, maybe? I mean…"

He trained off, but Rachel nodded her head. She didn't disagree with that statement, at any rate. "I love you," Rachel said, because she needed to say it. Those feelings had not changed, and she wanted Finn to know that. She needed him to know that.

Finn smiled sadly at her. "I know. I love you, too."

Rachel took a deep, shuddering breath and then finally asked the question. "Is it enough? Can we… should we still be married when we couldn't even communicate what we wanted to do over the summer?"

Finn knew exactly what Rachel was getting at with that question, but he wanted her to say it plainly, because he certainly wasn't going to. "What do you mean?" he said, his voice low.

Despite her best efforts, a tear tracked its way down Rachel's cheek. "We've been married for less than a year. If we wanted to… if we decided that we couldn't do this anymore… we could get an annulment."

Finn pressed his fingers to his temples. His heart was beating too fast in his chest, and he just wanted this conversation to be over with. Rachel wasn't going to let this go until he gave her a response, though. So he gave her one.

"I don't want an annulment. Or a divorce." Rachel blinked at him, eyes wide, so he pressed on. "What do you want, Rachel?"

Another tear rolled down her cheek, quickly followed by a third. "I want to not hurt this much," she whispered.

In the end, they didn't really make any decision—other than that they wouldn't get an annulment or a divorce just yet. They didn't really talk about reconciliation, either. They just agreed to give one another time. They were back home again, they were in each other's circles. Maybe, something could change.

One change was very evident, though, and it was made obvious by the phone call she got not five minutes after she got home. She looked down at the ID photo that popped up on her iPhone, sighed heavily, and considered not answering it. Rachel dismissed that idea almost immediately, however; he would just keep calling until she gave in and answered.

Rachel answered the phone. "Noah, what do you want?" Just because she answered didn't mean she had to be nice.

Puck didn't even bother to say hello. "An annulment, Berry? A divorce?"

"I never said divorce!" Rachel exclaimed. "I don't want that."

"Regardless of whether or not it's an annulment or a divorce, you're still talking about ending your marriage to Finn." There was a knock on the door to the apartment, then, and Rahcel knew that Puck had come to have this conversation face-to-face. "Do you really want that, Rachel?" Puck asked once she had opened the door. "Do you really just want to give up?"

Rachel sank to the floor in front of the couch and drew her knees up to her chest. "Noah, I don't know what I want anymore. But someone had to say it, to put it out there. We can't talk about reconciliation if we don't acknowledge the other outcomes."

"That's… surprisingly mature." Puck sat down on the floor next to Rachel, wedging his shoulder against hers.

"Yeah, well." Rachel closed her eyes and leaned her head against Puck's shoulder. "I've had the whole summer to think about how dumb it is not to say the important things out loud. When you had your little conversation with Finn—" because clearly Finn had called Puck as soon as he had left the River Park— "did he also mention I told him that I love him?"

"He did. But he was kind of stuck on the subject of annulment. As I'm sure you can understand."

At least Puck now understood that Rachel and Finn couldn't just pretend that everything was going to be alright now that they were both back in Lima together. They needed to face what happened, together, and that included the possibility that this might not work out. Because if they really wanted to give this shot, a real try, then they have to acknowledge everything.

"I don't… I don't think I want an annulment—"

"Have you told him that? And why even bring it up in the first place?"

Rachel ignored Puck. "—but I can't see past the hurt we caused each other this summer. It's just… where do we go from here?" Rachel pressed the heel of her palm to her forehead and sighed. "Do you remember how easy things were at the beginning of last year? Before football, before New York…"

"Before you got married," Puck added with a laugh.

"Well, yes. It was just high school. And it was so much easier then. We hung out at the River Park, I practiced for the fall drama and the spring musical, and we played mini golf."

Puck wrapped his arm around Rachel's shoulders and hugged her to him. "We're still in high school," he pointed out. "So we should act like it. Let's use the mini golf course again. Let's hang out at the River Park with everyone. Keep coming to the football games and just have fun, instead of worrying about everyone at the school watching how you might interact with Finn. You could join the cheerleading squad, you know."

Rachel lifted her head to shoot Puck an incredulous look. "Me? A cheerleader? What about the fall drama?"

"Calm down, you drama queen. There's only like two weeks of overlap between the end of the football season and the rehearsals for the fall drama. You had fun at the Classic last year, didn't you? Santana and Quinn said you did a great job, and they want you on the squad."

"Excuse me, I'm the drama queen?" Rachel flicked Puck's ear. "Weren't you the one who got all pissy that I filled in on the squad?"

Rolling his eyes, Puck reluctantly admitted, "I was wrong. But don't make me say it again, because I'll deny it if anyone asks about it." He tugged gently on the back of Rachel's loose hair, laughing when she batted his hand away. "Think about it. What better way to act like a high school student than participating in a bunch of school-sanctioned events?"

Puck conveniently left out the fact that Rachel was already involved in quite a few school-sanctioned events: the theater department, the student tutoring program, her constant presence on the honor roll that had her in the running to be valedictorian by the time graduation rolled around. He had an ulterior motive here, one that would get Rachel and Finn to spend more time together in an environment that was a little more natural.

That didn't even include the fact that she had decided to join the squad last year, when they were having her celebratory dinner for getting the lead in the spring musical. It seemed like a lifetime ago, and while Rachel knew that Santana and Quinn's offer to have her on the squad still stood, she hadn't felt right taking them up on it while things with her and Finn were so estranged. Maybe it was time for her to rethink that, however.

If Rachel knew what Puck was trying to get at, she didn't let on. "It would be an excellent addition to my resume," she finally said.

"That's the spirit!"

"Oh my god, I'm so happy you decided to join the squad!" Quinn was practically squealing, which was not something they were used to hearing from her. Santana and Rachel stopped stretching and stared at her, and Quinn rolled her eyes. "Look, Rachel has been taking dance for years, and she'll round out the skill set of this squad."

Plus—and Quinn didn't need to say it out loud, since they all knew it to be true—having Rachel on the squad this year would ensure that things were going to be different from last year. Rachel was a part of their group now, and she was a voice of reason for them. Things were going to be different this year, better. Quinn and Santana were going to remind Rachel of this as well, despite how the year had started.

"You know, I almost miss the doom and gloom Quinn from last year," Santana muttered to Rachel, who started laughing loudly.

"I heard that!"

The whole squad started stretching again, and right before their practice started, the football team arrived to start theirs. Finn came up at the back of the team, talking to Puck and Coach Beiste. Rachel stopped what she was doing, ignoring Quinn's direction to get into formation in favor of watching her husband.

In his practice uniform, here, on the field, he looked calm and in control. He looked more at peace here then she had seen him in a long time, and it was… nice to see. Rachel bit her lip, fiddling with the pom poms in her hands.

Finn looked up, immediately catching Rachel's eye from the across the field. He looked surprised for a moment, and it was obvious that Puck hadn't shared with Finn that Rachel had joined the squad. Puck was clearly meddling, but Rachel couldn't find it within her to be annoyed with him.

Finn smiled at Rachel.

She smiled in return.

They both turned away to start their respective practices then, but Rachel couldn't keep the smile off of her face. For the first time in a long time, she finally had hope.

Keep in mind that this is based off of One Tree Hill, and we're in the angsty part of season 3. This is actually way nicer than what happened in the TV show, but season 3 turned around quickly. It actually happens to be one of my favorite seasons of OTH. Thanks for reading!