Two on a Train- chapter 5
By the time Tony got to the ICU, he was out of breath. He ran the whole way there, not stopping for the elevator but rather taking the stairs, two or three at a time. Mona's door was busy with activity as nurses and doctors were moving in and out at a very fast pace. He ran up to the door but was stopped by a nurse. He couldn't see into the room as the flurry of medical staff were surrounding Mona's bed.
"Sir… sir please. You have to step back" said a nurse as she moved past Tony and into the room.
"Please! That's my… my mother-in-law in there! What's going on?" he pleaded.
"Mr. Bower, your mother-in-law's heart stopped about 20 minutes ago. It took sometime but we got it beating again. She's not out of the woods yet. Her vitals are still erratic and we are trying to determine if the bleeding in her brain has begun again. If so, she's going to need emergency surgery right away. We are taking her for an MRI shortly to try and figure out what's going on" said one of the doctors.
"Is she… is she going to be alright?" he asked, with fear and apprehension in his voice.
"It's too soon to say. She's still with us, so that says something. I can tell she's a fighter" said the doctor as he went back into the room. He could only watch as they continued to work on her until they wheeled her out of the room for the MRI.
"It's Tony, Mona. You hang in there! You're gonna be just fine!" he managed to say before they took her off down the hallway. Tony entered her room, trying to avoid looking at all the discarded medical supplies he knew were used to bring her back to life. He reached the phone and dialed Angela's room number.
"Hi Angela it's Tony… they were able to get her heart started again. They aren't sure if her brain is bleeding again so they just took her up for an MRI. I'm going to stay up here until she gets back and see what is going on… yes, I will… I'll tell her that… oh sweetheart don't cry… she's gonna be okay! She's a fighter! Just like you! As soon as she comes back and I get an update, I'll call back…" he said as he hung up the phone.
"Excuse me nurse? My wife Angela Bower is a patient downstairs. Her doctor gave her clearance to see her mother tomorrow morning. However, is there a way she could come up now? If something happens to her mother and she didn't get to say goodbye, it's going to devastate her… please can something be done?" he pleaded.
"Let me call the on call doctor and see what can be done. Give me a minute" said the nurse as she picked up the phone. After a few minutes, she hung up and went over to Tony.
"Given the circumstances of Mrs. Robinson's injuries and situation, her doctor gave her the go ahead to come up. A nurse will be sent down shortly with a wheelchair to assist your wife. The visit needs to be short, for both their sakes. Head down to her room" said the nurse. Tony didn't wait for further instructions and took off at full speed back to Angela's room. He reached her room and entered without knocking.
"Tony! Is she… is she okay?" asked Angela as she wiped away the tears that just wouldn't stop coming.
"They took her for the MRI so I don't know yet. I spoke to the nurse about having you come up to see her now, not tomorrow and they gave it the okay! They should be sending a wheelchair here soon so I can take you up to see her" said Tony as he sat on the edge of her bed. Angela reached over and pulled him into a hug, holding on tighter than she ever had before, crying both tears of relief and utter sadness.
"Thank you Tony" she said as she pulled back from his embrace. He handed her some tissues as he moved slightly back on the bed.
"If they aren't here in five minutes, I'll go to the nurse's station and make a scene!" he said with a slight laugh.
"I'm sure you will Tony. Thank you. If something happens to her and I don't get to see her, I… I don't know what I'll do…" she said. Tony again moved closer to her on the bed and took the tissue, wiping her tears from her face. He gently caressed her face with his hand; Angela placed her own hand over his and remained locked in another intense stare. Without much thought on either of their parts, they entered into a slow, sensual kiss. Soon, the kiss deepened into a passionate kiss, each running their hands through each other's hair, Tony avoiding Angela's injuries. Finally, they remembered they were in the hospital, in the middle of a crisis.
"Angela… I'm so sorry… I shouldn't have, not when Mona is… I'm sorry" he said, not knowing what to do at the moment.
"No Tony, I'm sorry. Our emotions are heightened right now and we shouldn't have done that… maybe it's time to check with nurses about the wheelchair…" she said.
"Yes I better get out there and see what's happening. I'll be right back" he said as he walked out of the room. He almost doubled over once he got into the hallway, practically hyperventilating as he tried to catch his breath.
"What have I done? How could I kiss her like that? With everything going on? With Andy? With Kathleen? She probably hates me right now! You're so stupid!" he said to himself as he stood back up and collected his thoughts. He finally managed to walk over to the nurses' station and asked for an update. They promised to have someone come right away as he headed back to her room.
Meanwhile, Angela's mind was racing just like Tony's. She had to take some deep breaths to slow her heart rate and the pulsing pain sensation in her leg.
"How could we have kissed? We are both seeing other people! My mother is lying somewhere in critical condition and I'm here making out with Tony! Although I can almost hear her voice of approval, regardless of the circumstances" she was thinking to herself as Tony walked back into the room.
"They are coming now and we can go up. Angela…I'm so sorry again. I don't know what came over me" he said as he looked down at his feet, struggling to look Angela in the eyes.
"Tony… Tony look at me. It's alright. Our emotions are all over the place. It makes sense that we would lose control of ourselves for the moment. It's not a secret we've had feelings for one another and have at times acted on them, but that was then and this… this is now. We won't let it happen again" she said, that wall she's perfected over the years coming right back. A pit in her stomach began to grow and not just from the worry about her mother.
"You're right Angela. This is now and we have to focus on getting you better and seeing Mona. That's all that matters right now" he said, an air of disappointment in his voice.
"Mrs. Bower? I'm here to take you up to see your mother. We are going to keep you on the bed to stabilize your leg. If you are ready, we need to go" said the orderly.
"Yes I am ready thank you" said Angela. He pushed Angela's gurney, Tony walking to the side of the gurney. They made it to the elevator and up to the ICU. Mona was being brought down as they arrived to her room. They were able to put both beds next to each other.
"Mother! It's Angela… I'm here now" she said as she reached to hold her hand. Just then, the doctors came into the room.
"Mr. and Mrs. Bower, I am the attending treating Mrs. Robinson. The MRI has revealed bleeding on the brain. We have secured an OR for her and will be taking her up shortly. If the bleeding can be controlled and she can survive the next 12-24 hours, I am cautiously optimistic that she can recover. The situation is, however, very critical right now, so I want to prepare you for all outcomes. There is a significant possibility she won't make it through the surgery. We will do everything we can to save her" said the doctor as he spoke to the other doctor and nurses about the surgery.
"Mother, you have to make it though. I can't do this without you! Please! I love you!" she pleaded to Mona through tears. Tony came over to Mona's other side and grabbed her hand.
"You heard her Mona… for once in your life please listen to your daughter okay? I love you too" he said through his own tears. They had a few brief moments with Mona before she was wheeled out of the room and into surgery. Angela was wheeled back down to her room, the doctors promising to provide updates as soon as possible.
"Thank you Tony for pushing them to allow me to see her tonight. If she dies, at least I saw her and the last thing I said to her was I love you, not an argument…" she said as she grabbed Tony's hand again.
"You're welcome Angela but I didn't do it just for you- I've felt so helpless since I first heard you were hurt. I'd do anything to make this better, to feel like I'm actually doing something productive instead of just being useless…" said Tony.
"You've gone above and beyond Tony. I couldn't have asked for a better best friend through this whole thing. If I live a thousand lifetimes, I could never properly repay you for everything you've done for us, for me…" she said as she squeezed his hand.
"So… what were you and Mona talking about this morning, if you don't mind me asking" asked Tony, trying to lighten the mood if at all possible.
"Ummm… well, to be honest… you…" she said quietly.
"Me? What about me? Did I do something?" he asked with hesitation and worry in his voice.
"No! You didn't do anything wrong… exactly. We don't have to talk about this now Tony…" she said as she looked down at their intertwined hands.
"If I did something wrong, I want to know Angela. I want to be able to apologize or make amends. You're my best friend Angela!" he practically shouted.
"Okay! Look… we talked about how things have been… awkward between us since Kathleen and Andy. She pointed out how before we were… dating them, we seemed closer, especially after coming back from Jamaica. Then, things became awkward. She was worried about me, about us… in her own way at least. I don't think she's very fond of Andy. She thinks… she thinks we belong together…" she said with tears in her eyes. She wondered if there was a physical limit that a person could cry in one day and if she was coming close to her limit.
"Oh Angela… I know it's been awkward. I've felt it for a while now. I hated seeing the hurt look on your face I saw this morning when I talked about my date with Kathleen. I never meant to hurt you Angela. I don't know how this happened. We spent the past six years building this life together, raising our kids together- plus Mona and she's not easy! We became so much more than boss and employee that I guess… I guess it scared me. What could I ever possibly offer you Angela? Even with a college degree, I won't ever be able to afford the things you deserve. Even if I… care about you, even… love you… it wouldn't be enough. I wouldn't be enough…" he said with tears running down his face.
"Oh Tony… like I said in Jamaica, I wouldn't care if you mowed lawns in Central Park… but I know you do and I understand. I really do understand, but… a part of me doesn't understand. If we care about one another, even love each other… shouldn't that be enough? Shouldn't we let each other know that and figure out a way to make all the other stuff work? Don't we owe ourselves that much? To at least have a conversation about it, instead of running around the subject, making it awkward? As best friends, we deserved more than what we have been doing and I think that's what Mother was saying to me this morning. We owed ourselves this conversation" she said.
"You're right Angela. We deserved more than what we've been doing. Let's make a pact that no matter what, we talk things through, not run or hide from them. Let each other know how we are feeling, if we need something from one another. We've always done that… with everything that's happened today, I don't ever want to miss an opportunity to be as real, open and honest with you" he said.
"Okay Tony it's settled. Only honesty from here on out. I think I need to take a break from all this emotional stuff and close my eyes for a bit. Promise me you'll stay with me and wake me with any news about Mother" she said.
"Of course Angela. Rest up and I'll wake you if there's any news. I'll be right here okay?" he said as he leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. He tried to make himself comfortable in the chair, but it was nearly impossible. He ended up resting his head on the side of her bed. Within a few minutes, they were both sound asleep.