Dahlia Carson Delphine, the amazingly awesome woman who birthed me into this dull, cruel world, after all the steamy hot sex she and Daddy Dearest had together when they were still "happily" married, allowed me to drive myself to the airport, given that I've recently gotten my license to do so and, also, she'd probably never witness me driving again, as we'd be parting ways soon, for a while at least; oh, and also, I'm nearly an adult, so, yeah, me drive, she no drive. She was, most obviously, in the passenger's seat; she was seeing me off, plus she'd need her vehicle back, duh.
I had the airconditioner blasting because while it was, like, very hot in Raven, Zonaari, I've never been a fan of the wind violently blowing against my face; well, Mother Dearest had her window rolled down, regardless, but even so, blasted the airconditioner I did, as I refused to roll mine down, fuck that. The sky was how'd you expect it to be on a very hot, super sunny day, so I won't describe it, as that would just be pretty pointless; we all know what hot, sunny days look like.
I was wearing the best outfit ever: normal clothing. Wow, so amazing, right?! Like, my white tanktop was blacklaced at the sides and octopus tentacles ran across my boobies! Very hentai! Super kawaii! So otaku! Ugh, I'm already so tired of this preppy school girl inner voice I've got going on in my head right now; be gone, unwanted annoyance. In continuation of my attire, my jeans were kinda ripped but whose jeans weren't like that, specifically around the knees? And, as odd as it might've looked, I was also wearing sandals. No jacket, though; it was too fucking hot for that shit, so I had it packed away for later, because I'd definitely end up having to wear it eventually, considering where I was heading. God, that sentence really dragged on; expect more of that. Also, from here on out, just expect me to wear all sorts of different clothes; I'm not always gonna describe my outfits, because that would just be repetitive or whatever the word is, so just look out for my favorite clothing styles, kay? That way, you can just use your imagination. Tee hee.
Southeast (or was it Northwest? Maybe Northeast? Southwest? I don't know directions; it was somewhere) of Warlington, the state I'd be moving to, was the teeny, tiny town of Spoonz. The sun hardly shined down and, when it actually did, it was only for, like, a day or two each month, maybe every other month; something like that, anyway. I don't understand the weather; do I look like I forecast it? It would rain there literally everyday, too, outside those very rare, supposed sunny times. Seriously, I don't understand the weather.
Why did I force myself to move, you ask? The fuck if I know; I do know but I don't wanna tell you, so I don't know, okay? I could've just stayed with Mother, and continued being a selfish hoe at a place I'd rather be, but, alas, stupidity overtook my sanity, what little of it I had anyway. I asked to live with Cassius, Daddy Dearest. I never asked why they divorced since I honestly don't give a shit, but I assume it's because they weren't meant to be, amongst the actual reasons why people leave one another; I'd leave, too, with all that dullness in the air, of Spoonz, I mean. I wasn't even a year old when she took me away, which also makes me assume that they rushed into a marriage. You have no idea how happy I was when I became a teenager; no more did I have to spend a whole summer with him in Spoonz, instead spending half a week chilling together in the state of East (or was it West?) Caribbean, where the weather was always pretty decent, sort of. I'm selfish, I know.
Ah, Spoonz. My prison-to-be.
Why do I always make very bad life decisions? I hated the town; it's why I started avoiding it when I became a teenager. It's too goddamn small, for starters, and who'd the fuck would want to deal with the bad, mad confusing weather all the time? Idiots like myself, clearly. I adored Raven so much; the neverending blazing sunlight, the warmest nights, and the lovely people I ignored all of the time, I would miss them. I should've stayed with Mother and her new boo thing; I just had to be a moron, though. And selfless, for once. Snort.
Yes, I vaguely revealed my reasoning for moving. Yes, you can blink and miss it. No, I won't elaborate; not yet, anyway.
"Iris, my little grown munchkin," Mother started, when I was about to begin boarding the plane. She just couldn't keep the awkward silence going, huh? "Are you certain you want to do this? You really don't have to."
She was right; I didn't have to leave, not at all. I could stay with a family friend in Raven or suck it up and travel with her (and the new bae), but I chose to leave. Because I wanted to, because of reasons. Just reasons. Why just reasons? Because I don't know the reasons, to be honest, but there are a few, probably. Maybe I just like making life harder for myself.
Anyway, my loving mother looks exactly like me, except opposite. That makes perfect sense, right? No, it fucking doesn't; I never said what I looked like, I only told you how I was dressed. Therefore, you don't know what she looks like, too. Sooo. My hair is super long and hers is super short; I have stereotypical princess hair, she has a stereotypical lesbain cut. I frown a lot and she smiles all the time; I'm sad all of the time and she's always happy. I have style and she doesn't; my fashion sense consists of random shit, but mostly punkish, and she wears boring Mom clothes. I can survive on my own and she can't; I'm the real mother and she's the child. I hardly accept my existence in this world and she enjoys life; I'm depressed and she's just always happy, like I said. Have you gotten the idea yet?
Where was I…?
…Ah. Mom had just talked to me about my decision to leave. I suddenly dropped to the ground, twitching; I was having a seizure. Just kidding; as worried as I was about her being without me, considering she cannot do shit on her own like the adult child she is, I knew she'd be okay. Because she had her boo thing; Alfie Delphine, the new husband, my very boring and irrelevant step-daddy. Surely, he'd get the bills paid (instead of allowing her to pay them a week late), get groceries and cook (because she doesn't ever remember to restock and also can't cook to save her godforsaken life), keep her vehicle's tank full (because she'd always be forgetting to refuel), and answer her phone-calls (when she'd ultimately get lost somewhere, even if she'd been there a million times before). Mother was completely, utterly helpless; it was a miracle that she got from Spoonz to Raven in the first place. He would be her new guardian angel. I didn't have to deal with that shit anymore; no more being Matilda. Thank God, and Satan, for that; I hated parenting my own mother since the age of three. I'm surprised I survived long enough to even make it to two.
"It's totally cool, Mother," I lied. No, it wasn't; I didn't wanna go, but I had to, because of reasons. Reasons you probably didn't pay attention to. Reasons I'm ignoring. Reasons. "I really wanna live with Ca-Dad! Daddy Dearest! I've just missed him so much, you know? What with the half a week per year, since I was thirteen, that I've been seeing him in…that one place we started chilling at during our short timespan together." I faked a few tears, to really make the lie seem truthful; it was easy, to be honest, because I cried so much in general. I can literally just do it on command, even when I don't actually need a good cry, which isn't too often because I'm always sad and stuff. Like I told you. Give me attention.
Why the fuck did I choose to move?! Life could've stayed simple if I just used logical thinking (and stayed)!
Mother was convinced by my performance; of course she was, she's an idiot. She hugged me tightly. Ugh, I just hated hugs. I still hate them; however, I can tolerate it when it's a certain someone and their family. They'll show up soon enough, I promise; I know it's the real reason why you're reading, you want the juicy "romance" details. Oh, wait, I should act like I have no clue what's in my future, instead of retelling from the point of view of knowing where I'll end up, but that's too much work, so my flashback into the past is gonna be riddled with foreshadowing. I think. That's the correct term, right? I'm confused now.
Back to what happened! Mother was hugging me; I pretended I was okay with said hugging when I wasn't because I'm just such a wonderful daughter. I'm lying. "Well, I hope you have a wonderful time, Iris. Give your father my platonic love."
"Yup." I wasn't. Please, just let me leave, was the thought I was having, the entire time. I just wanted to go already, even though I didn't want to go. You know?
"We'll be seeing each other again, really soon. I can feel it," she stated in a spiritual kind of tone, whatever that meant. Wait, huh? …Huh. Her prediction was pretty close; months later (currently, in present times), I'll be staring down death and she'll likely be attending my funeral a few days later (soon). How unfortunate for the both of us. Ugh, I wanna stay but I gotta leave, was another thought running through my mind at the time. "Remember, I'm just a call and text away; I'll drop everything and rush right back when you need me." What do you mean by "when"? That was just another thought on my mind. I won't need you; you'll probably need me, though. You get the idea.
Oh, wait! Now, conveniently, I remember why I left. Smirking…noises. I didn't want to travel with her and Alfie, and they didn't want me living in the house alone, nor did I want a family friend raising me for the next year or so. Hmm? I already told you this? It was brief the last time I said it? Was it really, though? Well, anyway, I told you again; for emphasis. Dramatic sigh; if only I'd been older, then I would've stayed with no issues. But, then, we wouldn't have such a ridiculous, well-loved book series, with an equally loved film series, and three fan-fiction series' stemming off its success, using vulgarness and more toxicity (copycats can be winners, too, you guys! Or we're all just stupid idiots! Or both! Either way, we're all losers!). Ah, but let's not forget the "hilarious" parodies! Those are just so terribly "good"! Sometimes! That's enough fourth wall breaking, for now. Tee hee.
"Uh huh," I uttered, uncaring, fake tears long dried. "Yeah, well, you don't need to worry about that happening. I'm a big girl now." I was very tempted to sing it, but I didn't; what a waste of a golden opportunity. "I can handle this. It's gonna be epic, living with Dad." Well, honestly? It did turn out to be a little epic, not gonna lie. Oof. I didn't expect such a nice result from the unwanted move. "Love you, long time."
Eventually, she stopped hugging me; at last, freedom. Soon, I was on the plane, heading for Warlington. I left my old, ordinary life behind me, forever. Shit.
It took such a long time to get to my new home, y'all. It took, like, fourteen hours to fly from Raven to Oceantis. Then, it took a day to fly the tiny plane to Haven Demoness. Lastly, there was a seven year drive to Spoonz. Altogether, it took, probably, six hours? Yes, I was exaggerating; that's who I am. I dreaded the whole trip. Flying was terrifying. I'm not a huge fan of heights, but amazingly, I was cured of that, thanks to true lust love; true love broke my fear. Love. You'll see. Pinky promise.
I wasn't looking forward to that ride with Cassius; yeah, I refer to Daddy Dearest by his birth name. I do it, sometimes, with Mother Dearest, just slightly less. There's nothing wrong with that, bitch; fight me. Deal with it, sucka.
Anyway, Cassius can be a…very awkward man, so I was dreading the awkwardness that would fill the conversation we'd ultimately have because I can be quite awkward myself, thank you. Awkward, awkward, awkward. We are awkward. Just so you know. We're awkward. Remember that. Awkward.
Thankfully, but also without much surprise, he'd been happy about my decision to live with him; he'd gotten me registered for the high school within an hour after he heard the "good" news. He even planned on getting helping me get a nice car. We all know he'd get it for me anyway. Mooching off your parents is fun and a privilege, children. Hell yeah. Next step; finding a rich husband to mooch from. Tee hee.
When the plane finally landed in Haven Demoness, it was already pouring down all that rain I briefly mentioned. I could relate; it was about as depressing as I felt. I missed the sun, but not too much; it'd been a constant reminder that everyone, and everything, around me was happier than I.
I made sure to put on my Gucci Vintage biker jacket before I left the plane. That bitch was expensive, by the way, but Alfie was such a dear step-father, getting it for me as a "you're my new step-daughter" gift. If I somehow survive the attack I'm currently going through, in slow motion so that these flashbacks can happen, I hope he gets me more cool, pricey shit. I'm stingy like that.
I was the last one to exit; I ended up stumbling off the plane, like the clumsy bitch I am, tripping onto the jet bridge. Good news, all the other passengers had gotten off before me, so they didn't dare glance back in my general direction. Bad news, I still embarrassed myself; some of the staff remained on the plane and, upon seeing me trip, snickered openly. I tried to ignore them as I went on my way.
Cassius awaited my arrival in his police cruiser. For fuck sake, why, Dad? Oh, yeah; probably should've mentioned it a lot sooner, but he's actually the Chief of Police in Spoonz, known only as Chief Carson to all the townsfolk. Chief, not Sheriff. Chief. Just making that clear. Chief. Why? I don't know how things work; people just call him that. I'll admit, it was kind of cool, getting a ride in the cruiser; I sort of felt like some kind of badass. However, I didn't wanna be known as "the new girl whose father is their police chief, who likely would arrest them someday for drugs, jaywalking, and staring at his daughter for more than three seconds". Which is why I was happy he agreed to help me get my own vehicle; I hoped it was something classic or old school. Spoiler alert: it was, bitch, eek!
"Iris, my little Ivy!" he exclaimed, catching and steading me as I tripped over my feet again. Or rather, I tripped over his words; why the fuck did he have to call me his little Ivy? And why did I have to remember that? I've always hated that middle name of mine, so much. Only Poison Ivy is allowed such a cruel, befitting, kind of epic namesake. …Why couldn't my name be Poison Ivy? Sigh. Bummer. "I've missed you so!" So? So what? Much? Still holding me, he hugged me as tightly as Mother had. Bleh. "So good to be seeing you!" He was very ecstatic to see me; he wouldn't shut the fuck up, nor stop smiling at me when the awkward hug was finished. "You're just as you were when I last saw ya, pal!" Pal? What? …Maybe I'm remembering incorrectly. "How's your mama? Still looking hot?" …Yeah, I must be remembering incorrectly. Too many spicy dreams about my…person of interest that hasn't been introduced yet. Oh well. What can you do? I'm about to be brutally murdered in the present; fuck it, if I mess up recalling my past, I mess up recalling my past.
"She's surviving with step-papa," I answered. "And, since he's my step-papa, I guess she is?" He was pleased by my second answer more than the first; gross. "And it's nice to see you again, too, I guess? Hi, Dad…" I hate this. Look, I remembered the italics this time; actually, I've been using those the whole time, I think. I mean, what? Shut up, you weirdo. I didn't say a damn word about italics. What do you think this is? A novel about my life? How would that be possible? I'm about to fucking die. You're just imagining things.
I left most of my clothing behind in Raven; not because they wouldn't fit the weather, they were actually perfect for it, but they had holes and I didn't want anyone thinking I was a bum. New school, new start, yeah? Therefore, new clothes. Back in Raven, I didn't give a fuck what anyone thought of me in my clothes of holes; they never paid attention to me anyway, the losers. At Spoonz, I felt like it'd be the exact opposite, for some reason, so cool clothes with no holes were to be worn at all costs. Unfortunately, I only had a single bag of clothing, the other containing more personal things. Thanks to my lack of belongings, my two bags fit pretty easily inside the trunk; I would've been bitching the whole ride if I had to keep my bags at my feet.
As we strapped in, sitting in our assigned seats (I wasn't driving, nor was I sitting in the back, so there's your hint at seating arrangements), Father Cassius (no, he's not a reverend) started talking to me. "Sooo," he dragged out. Oh, God, please no; Satan, protect me, I thought. "I got you a car."
…Huh? Well then. Job well done, I guess.
I hadn't expected that to be the conversation starter, but I was quite happy about it, not that I let him know that. "Oh, is that so?" I said, keeping my tone dull, void of my true emotions about the topic of interest. "What type is it? Old? New? Classic? Standard? What exactly?" I asked, totally nonchalantly, keeping my tone blank. To top it off, I remained expressionless; it wasn't hard, I usually never showed my emotions through expression. I would've crossed my fingers if I could've, but he'd have seen; I was inwardly praying for something no one would laugh at.
"It's a Chevrolet."
Eeek! Could it truly be a Classic car/truck/van?! "That's cool, man." I don't know why I threw in the "man", but Cassius didn't seem to notice, so it was fine. Anyway, I had to remain uncaring or he'd expect too much from me, in regards to positive reactions towards things. We couldn't be having any of that; I was too cool for it. "Where'd you get it? A car like that wouldn't just be laying around somewhere."
"It's a long story, actually," he began. Goddamn it, why…? "Remember good old Ewan White, from Le Pull?" Ah, that was the Lycanthrope land by the coast…area, filled with those Natives who have the whitest names ever, in my opinion. I didn't remember him, though, so I shook my head and hummed negatively, in case he hadn't seen my shaking head because of his driving. "Remember those summers you spent here before you were a teen?" I truly wish I didn't. I'd rather remember Ewan. "He used to visit, sometimes." Did he? I didn't remember most things that happened while I summered in Spoonz, if you couldn't already tell; being stuck in the house as it rained just about everyday was my only memory, having to play the most dull board games in existence, like Candy Land; I preferred Clue but we didn't have that. "He can't walk anymore; he rides around in an electric wheelchair instead." At least it's electric. "Beware of getting close to him whilst he's moving; it hurts something awful when your foot gets accidentally run over." …Is there a point to me recalling all of this? The paragraph is getting very long. "Anyway, the car was his." Ahh, right; he was just taking a year to get to the damn point.
"Mm. What year?"
"1955." Oooooh!
"Okay. When did he get it?" I hoped he bought it new. Otherwise, it was gonna need so much work done to make it presentable, and that could cost a fortune, which I don't have. Alfie might have the money, though; maybe I could mooch from him again if I beg Mother Dahlia (no, she's not a saint).
"About a year after we started spreading the summer at, uh, the East Caribbean, I believe." Two seconds later. "Or was it the West Caribbean?" he uttered, scratching underneath his chin. I see where my lack of direction comes from. Anyway, hell yeah! It's not that old, maybe; I'm assuming.
"Was it bought brand new? Or close enough to that?" Please, let it be in a very, very, very good condition, so I don't have to spend money.
"Absolutely." Eeek!
"So, it doesn't need any work whatsoever?" I needed to be certain; I wasn't driving it if it was just gonna break down a lot (and in the middle of the road). That would really suck; it would be so embarrassing.
"Nope, it runs fantastic!" He sounded more excited about the vehicle than I was (on the inside). "I assume he got a lot of work done on it before he couldn't use it anymore; it looks just like how it did when it was first made." It was my turn to be the most ecstatic about the new vehicle. Which made sense; it was mine.
I finally decided to show some emotion; not through my expression, though, just my general tone. "That's totally awesome, Dad," I said with very slight enthusiasm. "Thanks a lot; I appreciate your support and the assistance you've given me with getting the car." However, I avoided telling him that, while I was happy about the almost brand new car, it wouldn't make my stay in Spoonz any less depressing. It'd make me avoid being a laughing stock, but it wouldn't make me permanently happy about being stuck in that godawful, tiny town.
I glanced at him. He was smiling widely, staring straight at the road as he drove on; good on him for never glancing my way, too. Otherwise, we'd be dead in a ditch. "You're welcome, my little Iris Ivy." Ugh, God, that middle name, slash nickname, sucks such ass.
Not much was stated after that, not that I minded. The conversation was getting a bit dull, anyway. He tried to talk about the weather a few times, but I shut that shit down immediately; I already knew how rainy it would get. Don't worry, though; I was nice enough about it. After that, he didn't try to continue speaking with me for the remainder of the ride. Thank fuck for that.
I forced myself to stare out the window for the entire ride. …For the rest of the ride, I meant.
Everything about the town sickened me. Trees were everywhere. Earth and its so-called beauty could suck my ass. What houses and concrete roads it did have, the town, they looked old as hell, worn down, somewhat broken. Therefore, the town also could suck my ass.
Soon, we were home. Huge bummer. I'd rather be taking a plane back to Raven. So, I did. Too bad I couldn't.
It appeared that he was still living in that godawful, smelly, tiny ass house from back when he was still married; two bedrooms, a kitchen/dining/living room combination, a bathroom or two, a washing room, an upstairs and downstairs hallway, a staircase obviously, and, assuming my memory is correct, a few other rooms used for nothing in particular, other than perhaps storage for items he couldn't find a place for. I don't know; I swear, as contradicting as my explanation of the interior was, the house is tiny. I promise you; it's small as hell.
Parked on the street, just in front of the house I hated, was my new, almost brand new car; a Cherry Red Pearl, 1955 Chevrolet Bel-Air, an absolute classic. Thanks so much, Cassius. And whatever that other guy's name was; Edwin or something. I don't remember; it was some kind of white sounding name. Anyway, the car looked epic. I don't know how to describe the looks of a vehicle, so just Google it or something; I'm too lazy to attempt such an useless description, considering it doesn't really fucking matter. This is a story of how I came to die, okay? You don't need the little details of everything in my life; just most of it.
Back to my amazingly, beautifully epic classic car. I absolutely loved it; I still do. In fact, I voiced my opinion about it, aloud, to Cassius. "Goddamn! It's fucking awesome, Dad! Thanks, dude!" He completely ignored how improper I was being, instead smiling wider than before. I was glad to have pleased him. I just hoped he wouldn't expect any other kind of reaction from me after that. Perhaps tomorrow, an already forewarned disaster, would be more appealing; maybe my new classmates would think I was chill and I'd become popular. For once. For absolutely no reason other than having a really cool car.
"I knew you'd love it," Cassius claimed. "Your eyes used to light up so brightly whenever you saw a classic driving by on the road." Did they? I couldn't recall that ever happening, but I took his word for it.
I was pretty quick about getting my shits up the stairs and into my former, now reclaimed, bedroom. I used to sleep here when I'd come for the summer, and before that, I slept here as an infant. The room was facing the front yard, so I got a pretty good view of, you know, the depressing rain and unappealing landscape. Yay me… I should probably just keep the curtains shut for the entire time of my stay. Everything in my room looked equally as depressing, by the way, but I did like the red wooden desk, or more importantly the black desktop computer on top of it, and the bed didn't look too lumpy. For a moment, I wondered if Cassius had gotten the modem installed only for me to communicate with Mother through email, but then, I remembered that texting and calling was a thing that existed, so I could just search the web like a normal teenager instead. Literally no one, but professionals, used emails to chat; I mean it, not even super unique people.
Also, I was wrong for temporarily recalling there being two bathrooms; there was only one. Eh, I had to share with Mother for years, and then with Alfie, too. I just hoped Father wouldn't get all awkward about my feminine products. Sigh. A teen can dream.
Cassius let me be. I was allowed to put my clothing, and such, away without him hovering over my shoulder, like Dahlia (yes, I just first named my mother) would've done because she'd be a nosy ass bitch sometimes. Alfie, too, which was gross to think about, even though he meant it innocently and not pervertedly. I settled into my room rather quickly; the depressing setting was very suitable for me, a woman who keeps repeatedly talking about depressing things because she wants to and because it's true. Anyway, moving back to what I was saying. The room was made for me, a sarcastic plain Jane who was sad about everything in life for no actual reason; I wasn't diagnosed with depression, I just didn't like most things about life in general; I still don't and I'm about to fucking die. Life sucks ass; reality can be a cruel bitch. Fantasy is so much better; that's why a lot of this is probably incorrect information and is just how I viewed the past in my head. So be it if it is; it's better than whatever the reality had been.
I enjoyed being alone; I could cry without anyone becoming worried and asking me a million questions that I didn't want to answer as to why I was shedding tears. Like, bitch, let me cry in peace; let me live my life. How else could I release my pent up emotions? Goddamn. Being alone also meant I wouldn't have to give reluctant smiles, not that I did that anyway, or act as if I liked something when I didn't, something else I also didn't do anyway; my face was always in the state of blankness, minus when I saw my car and got excited about it. That doesn't count; I very rarely like shit in the first place. Maybe I should cry later, I thought, as I briefly stared out my window. Eh, whatever happens, happens.
Spoonz High contained a surprisingly, except not really, small grand total of less than four hundred students and staff combined; back in Raven, there was, like, seven times as many students and staff, probably. I don't actually remember. Anyway, I told you the town was small as hell, didn't I? …Didn't I? I don't remember that either. Wait, since there weren't many people, perhaps I could end up as a popular student. What a dream that would be; a wonderful one, I mean. Ahh, I certainly hoped for such luxury; a sarcastic, depressing plain Jane like myself, becoming popular for no reason, other than a cool car and existing, that would be something else, wouldn't it?
I couldn't wait to be the new student from a better city; everyone would ask me questions I wouldn't actually be able to answer, and would be dreading to answer, but I'd be the center of their attention. In books, the new girl was always all "everyone is gonna think I'm such a huge freak" but that was just so incredibly unrealistic to reality; sure, they may think that, but no one ever treats them that way, like ever, unless they're actually fucking weird. Besides, what idiot would be wigged out by a new student? Instead, they'd be super into it, for a few days or a week, and wanna know the person; the new kid usually becomes quite popular for a short time. It was almost like the honeymoon phase with couples; a bright beginning that ultimately dulls in the end. I'd appreciate my brief popularity while it lasted.
About half of the people in Raven were heavily tanned, enjoyed being outside all the time, and just so happened to be blonde; they were like real life stereotypes. The other half were very pale, lazy, and varied in size, shape, and general appearance; I fit into that category.
In Spoonz, I felt like I'd fit in relatively well; my overall appearance suited the atmosphere, or whatever, in the small town that I'll always dread having reluctantly chosen to live within. I was hella pale; I never really spent too much time in the sunlight. I probably should've since I'm probably never gonna feel it again. I was kinda scrawny and curvy, and I existed. You don't need any more description than that, bitch; everything else was pretty standard, so you can figure out the rest of your own. By listening to me retell my story before I die.
Really fast, I put away all of my clothes; I shoved them into a dresser drawer. Yes, even the shirts; I don't care about wrinkles. Shit happens. To be honest, I was just feeling lazy, so I didn't hang them. It was whatever. I doubt anyone would pay attention to my outfits anyway; my face would just distract them because of how hideously plain it was. They were all gonna fall in love with me. Tee hee. Plain Janes for the win!
Anyway, after that, I went to the bathroom with my toilet supplies. Placing them in their appropriate places, I stared at my reflection in the mirror and began reenacting that one scene from Mulan. Just kidding; I only thought about doing that. Instead, I just stared at myself, questioning my existence as I studied my ugly appearance; my hair looked awful, I looked ill, and I needed a shower. So, I took one. Then, I stared at the mirror again. When will my reflection show who I am inside? Sorry, not sorry. Anyway, I looked the same as before, except my hair was soaking wet. Awesome.
Like I was saying before, I could totally fit in there. My general appearance fit the atmosphere, or whatever, as I said multiple times or so; it was depressing and so was I, emotionally and physically, a perfect match. I could totally relate to everyone; I mean, I absolutely think I'm above everyone, as I'm not your typical teenager, instead being a plain Jane who just so happens to be very sarcastic, a bit sassy, and a little depressed (hahahahaha, a little! Pfft, I'm such a jokester! And I will never stop repeating myself; I need to make sure you're listening!), but with how sad the atmosphere, or whatever, was, I could totally relate to the people I hadn't met yet. Absolutely.
I mean, I thought it was pretty safe to assume they were all secretly depressed, too; I turned out to be entirely wrong but I'm gonna pretend I was always right because I'm above everyone. I swear, as plain of a Jane I am, I'm actually a whole lot different than other girls, you guys; I mean, can't you tell? I think a lot about depressing shit and I read, and I have a really unique way of retelling my story while I'm in the middle of dying, and I am actually entirely boring, unlike everyone else, which is exactly why I am far different than the other women in this world. And I can read; I said that already but it's very important, except it's really not. I read, guys.
I am the ultimate protagonist! *cue the Danganronpa theme music* Or I was; like I said, about to die as I'm retelling my epicly boring story with sarcasm, sass, and depression. Where was I, again? I already forgot.
…Oh, right; I could totally relate with my new peeps. Just, you know, I had to meet them first to know for certain if I was correct or not; I wasn't, not entirely, like I said or I think I said that; I don't know. People were generally boring to me; I mean, I'm quite boring myself but I've always found that part of me appealing while it's entirely uninteresting on anyone else. I'm supposed to be the most interesting boring person, alright? It's my story, after all. I'm the star, regardless.
Mother Dahlia wasn't boring, but as close to her as I was, taking care of her was a bitch; someday, I hope she learns to take care of herself, as she can't always rely on others forever (I can, though; I'm the Mary Sue of my own life). Why I mentioned her suddenly, again, I don't know; it's not very relevant. I felt like it, I guess.
Yeah, I was absolutely way better than everyone else; unlike them, I saw the world the way it was always meant to be seen. I was self-aware of how dull I was and I was even more vastly aware that everything around us was just horrible. Life was pretty dull in reality, but so many tricked themselves into thinking it was something special. I thought I was the only one in the world with actual common sense; where I'm standing now, I realize I don't think I ever had any.
During my first night in Spoonz, the beginning of the end of my life, I slept like a baby; I don't mean the typical peaceful version of how a baby sleeps but the before part when the baby just keeps crying and crying until they fall asleep from exhausting themselves. That's code for I cried myself to sleep; I did say I was gonna probably have a good cry later in the day, I just hadn't known it would be that very night (instead of day). It was also raining; surprise, su-no. I was shocked, however, that I found it to be soothing; how strange. Perhaps, in reality, the rain calmed me down enough to allow me some peace to finally sleep soundlessly.
When the morning arrived, I couldn't see shit through my window; it was foggy as hell. Oh well; I didn't care much for seeing the sky or the landscape anyway, as I found the "beauty" of the world to be unappealing. I sighed; high school, I had to go there that morning. What fun.
Before heading to breakfast, I got dressed; my Gucci Vintage biker jacket over a long-sleeved, black crop top that covered my abdomen and fold-pleated gray suspender pants, and white over-the-knee boots. Yes, I described my outfit again; it has my favorite jacket as a part of it, so of course I was gonna mention it, duh. But, I swear, I won't tell you all of my many different outfits of my not so many clothes I've got. Anyway, I had the feeling I'd wear the outfit pretty often; spoiler, I sorta did, but I doubt I'll ever mention it again, so use your imagination.
Breakfast with Father Cassius was silent and fast; he went to work afterwards. I examined the dining-kitchen; it was dull looking, very befitting. Truly, nothing had changed. From my brief study of the room, I deduced that Cassius wasn't over Dahlia; he kept up all their old pictures. Awkward, much? He really needed to move on.
Realizing there was no use procrastinating any further, I left my home. It was raining still; joy, oh joy. Hopefully, it wouldn't make me fall asleep within my classes. I made sure to lock the door behind me, using the hidden spare key; sike, I just did it the normal way, by turning the lock and then closing the door. There was a spare key, most definitely, but that was only used to unlock the door when another key wasn't available. I took my time getting inside my almost brand new car; it wasn't like the rain would make me melt, it was just rain. Nothing to be terrified of, unless you're a witch in The Wizard of Oz.
In the long run, the car worked perfectly; it started up fine and everything. I located my school without difficulty; Cassius had left instructions on how to get there in the passenger's seat. What a saint. It looked like any other school; multiple buildings that connected and happened to be made of bricks, mostly. Lots of greenery, though. And, by the looks of it, there were absolutely no safety measures because a potential school shooter will always find a way inside, regardless of that. Too dark? Too soon?
I ended up parking in front of one of the buildings; I assume it was the main one, perhaps the first building maybe, because everyone was walking through those doors. Oh and I happened to catch a glimpse of the front office through the glass. Unfortunately, no one else seemed to be parked where I was, so I figured I would end up having to move it elsewhere, after I got some additional instructions of what the fuck it was that I was supposed to do.
I didn't bother calming myself or taking a deep breath; I just barged right inside, hoping for the best. That turned out to be a bit of a mistake. Goddamn! I squinted my eyes; did they constantly change the light bulbs in that bitch? It was bright as hell; bitches trying to blind the fuck outta me. It was warm as shit, too, man; I was already starting to sweat but I wanted to look cool, so I kept my jacket on; thank God, and maybe Satan (still), for deodorant, bitch. And perfume.
Anyway, into the front office, I went; the room was reasonably sized, but most of the space was for the front desk and everything behind it, leaving the waiting area tiny as fuck. I swear, only three people could wait in there at one time, it was that small. Nothing else in the room was interesting enough to examine, except the loud ass clock hanging on the wall. Shut the fuck up, would you? It didn't listen, obviously. Oh, well, something else stood out, but only because of my growing hatred for it; plants. Keep Mother Earth outside, would ya? I'd seen enough of it to last the rest of my existence.
I approached the counter; behind it were a few desks piled with a lot of shit, one occupied by a tall, wide woman with dyed red hair; yeah, it was dyed, her eyebrows were fucking black. Also, some goofy looking glasses were hanging around her neck. She looked fancy as hell, too; I looked way better, though.
Lady looked at me; oops, I distracted her from her paperwork. Oh fucking well; I needed some help, dude. She raised an eyebrow; bitch, I should be the one raising my eyebrow with how you're dressed. Let me stop poorly dissing the woman. "May I assist you with something?"
Instead of answering her question properly, I introduced myself to her very awkwardly. "Iris Carson, I am." Immediately, her face lit up in recognition. Ah, she knew that lovely me, the grand Iris Ivy (bleh) Carson, was a new student there; I was relieved, I would've hated having to explain my shits to her because that would've turned out even more awkward.
"Ah." Ah? What do you mean, "ah"? Be more interested in my arrival, bitch. I quickly grew bored of watching her rummage through the documents she had, so I just looked around the dull room, waiting impatiently for her to speak up again or whatever. "Here it is." I glanced back at her; in her hand, there were two sheets of paper. She stood and approached the counter, handing them to me. One was a schedule, the other a map. How helpful. "That is your schedule and map." Yeah, no fucking shit, Sherlock; I can see that. What else could it have been? A dentist appointment? Bitch, please.
I was about to turn and leave when she snatched the papers back from me. She was about to catch some hands but when I saw that she was marking up my map, letting me know exactly how to get to my classrooms, I left well enough alone. I was also given some sort of slip for all my teachers to sign; that didn't sound like anything a school would do for new students, it felt more like something for convenience but whatever, I'd get the slip signed and returned when school was over, for that day. She kept frowning as she returned my schedule and map; I grimaced. Such a wonderful start it was, not.
I returned to my epic, almost brand new car; yes, I'll keep saying that, for as long as I remember to. Several more students arrived; their cars were wack, so I was even less worried about being a laughing stock, not that I would've been because my car was awesome. I drove behind the new arrivals, following their lead; to the student parking lot we went! I was so happy to see a few classic cars sitting around; my favorite from them was the dirtied Impala. The other cars were mostly just new but old cars, meaning they were newer but had been used for a long time so they weren't new-new, you know? The newest looking car was the Subaru; I could've sworn I saw it sparkling. I felt like I was tripping; it definitely had been sparkling, though. It wigged me out so much, I parked furthest from it.
I memorized the map; it took several minutes because my memory could be kind of shit sometimes when it came to school related stuff. I learnt from the last time I was a new student; I had that shit under my nose for, like, three weeks before I could remember where my classes were. Understandably though, I was a child then; I lacked common sense. I still lacked common sense, for the most part, but I wasn't as naive anymore.
Shoving the shit into my backpack, I threw the strap over my shoulder and kicked (not really) the car's door open. I kind of wished I had a hoodie on, though; I could've hid my face from everyone all day but alas, I wanted to look hot and important. However, no one even glanced in my direction; I wore my Gucci Vintage biker jacket for nothing. No one even complimented my epic, almost brand new car. Fuck them; don't they know how important I am? I was supposed to be the newfound popular new student! They were ruining my dreams!
Past the lunch room, or cafeteria (whatever you want me to refer to it as), the third building came into view; ugh, about to officially start my first day. Fuck… Fuck, I wasn't ready. However, I managed to keep my cool; with a blank expression, I followed two persons inside; I didn't know the proper pronouns of the people in front of me, so I chose not to assume and just said persons. I was all about that respect, bruh; still am, not that it matters anymore because I'm about to die, in case you forgot which you probably didn't. Also, sometimes, I forgot about that respect I just mentioned, so oops.
So, my first class. It was… boring as shit. The classroom? Small as hell. The teacher? Didn't seem to give a shit about teaching, based on how his voice was constantly in a monotone, and he looked like he'd fuck a student during detention or something; I mean, it was usually the ugly ones that ended up doing something like that; actually, the hot ones did it, too, but the ugly ones were almost always caught immediately and arrested. Mr. Strong was what my classmates called him to his face; Mr. Ugly was what I thought to myself each time I looked at him. The other students? Looked absolutely uninteresting and didn't seem to care about my new appearance in their lives. How did it start? Everyone was hanging up their coats as they entered; I didn't remove my jacket, out of fear someone would try stealing it after class. I got the slip signed, went to the empty seat, blah blah blah, learn learn learn, random reading list of classics I already read and did assignments on at my old school trope/stereotype, the class ended; you don't give a shit, I don't give a shit. Moving on to more interesting things from my past.
But first, more somewhat unimportant events!
The bell rang loudly; I went deaf for, at least, thirty seconds. Must be hard for students to be late with that loud ass ringing, sike; the loudness of a bell had nothing to do with people's personalities, they'd be late if they wanted to be late, bitch. Anyway, I was getting my shit together, ready to move on and get to my next class, but some jackass wanted to talk to me, all of a sudden. Like, I didn't give a shit anymore if I was noticed or not. Okay, that was a lie, but the guy had messy hair and looked nerdy (or was it geeky?); I couldn't be popular if I was seen around the nerdy/geeky kid, who also happened to be Asian, a little bit anyway; it was definitely a part of his blood, though, so he was really fitting into the stereotype (cliché?) that Asians are the smart ones; bitch, everyone is smart in the world, just on different levels.
I stared at him; he stared back. It got awkward really fast. "...May I help you?" Weirdo, I wanted to add but didn't, not aloud anyway. *innocent whistling*
"You're Iris Ivy, the new gal, yes?" He continued staring at me; I think he was expecting me to agree that he was right? Know-it-alls, man. Yeah, I'm playing into the stereotype; bitch, I'm about to die, I can be rude if I wanna. Racist even. Fuck you. I just nodded, standing there awkwardly, wanting to leave the conversation. Also, how the fuck did he know my middle name? Did the teacher announce my full name during attendance or something and I didn't realize? "What do you have next?"
A class, dumbass; I thought you were supposed to be smart. "Governmental Studies, Madsen, Sixth Building." I didn't even have to check my schedule; I memorized that shit, too.
"Cool, cool. I have a class in the fourth building, so I could totally show you where yours is. If you want, of course. I mean, you probably can find it on your own but with you being new and all, I'd like to help." He was rambling; how precious. "I-I'm Magnus Thomas Nguyen. It's a pleasure to meet you, Iris Ivy Carson."
I didn't need to know his full name but I suppose it was fair, given he knew mine, somehow. "Yeah, sure, whatever. Thanks, dude, erm, Magnus." I hoped he'd leave me alone if I let him walk with me; I was wrong. In the end, he would not, for the life of him, shut the fuck up.
He'd gotten his coat as we left, chatting up a storm the entire time. Even as we strolled through the rain, he kept talking and talking about shit I didn't care about; it was pouring down again, by the way, in case you cared. My worst fear ended up happening during our walk; people were finally taking notice of me, which would've been wonderful if the nerd/geek wasn't with me. I could kiss popularity goodbye forever. Such cruel fate. "So," he started up on another topic. "This must be really different compared to what you're used to, right?"
"Yup." Please, stop talking to me. I don't give a shit about you, random nerd/geek, nerdy geek guy.
"Does it rain there, too? It probably doesn't, huh?"
"Hardly. Maybe twice a year, sometimes thrice." Please, just shut up. I don't like you, dude.
"What's that like?"
"Really goddamn bright."
"But you aren't tan."
"That's because I'm a vampire," I deadpanned. He clearly wasn't ever gonna shut up.
He laughed at me; he thought I was joking when, in reality, I was just fed up with his talking and questioning that I wasn't answering seriously anymore. I so wanted the conversation to be over; I didn't give a rat's ass about the boy. Nerd, Geek, Asian, Albino, Black, White, Genius, Idiot; I wouldn't have liked him anyway because he wasn't interesting. He had the dullest personality ever to exist, not to mention he wasn't hot or popular. I was doomed to hang out with the outcasts; I could feel it in my erect nipples (the rain was soaking through my crop top so my tatas were getting cold).
We walked for what seemed like forever; I didn't even pay attention to our surroundings because I was just focused on the torture I was going through with listening to the nerdy geek talk and talk. I should've been the one talking my head off; I was supposed to be the person of importance, but no, he asked me pointless questions that made me wanna rip out my hair. I never wanted to be in class so badly before. Eventually, we made it to my building; we completely skipped over his because he wanted to keep walking with me. In the end, he told me that he hoped that we'd be in other classes together and I just remained silent, grimaced at him, then went into the building, feeling sweet relief as I finally escaped his presence.
The first half of my first day turned out the exact same way.
Mr. Jackson, a math teacher I had for third (I think) period, annoyed the absolute fuck outta me. Why I got stuck with a very difficult form of math, I wish I knew. It was gonna be a bitch, I just knew it; I was never good at mathematics, like seriously, but it was a requirement. Why? I don't know; I doubt I'd ever have to use math in my entire life, but there I was, wanting to sleep throughout my first time in class. The bastard even made me introduce myself; you could've introduced me instead, bitch. But no, he made me go to the front of class, which I tripped all the way to, and after giving a short, dull greeting, I tripped my way back to my desk, reluctantly holding my head up in false pride. Thankfully, no one laughed; I'm sure they wanted to, though, goddamn it. I would've if I was in their place and them in mine.
Very quickly, I was recognizing students left and right; I never thought I'd have that many people in multiple of the same classes as me. I lied to them a lot; they didn't need to know I hated Spoonz. Quite frankly, it really wasn't any of their business, anyway. Out of the seven familiar faces, I figured I'd only befriend two of them. I was really liking the attention, though, despite how lackluster my popularity was.
One of them was a female, who sat beside me in two classes. She was nice enough to walk with me to lunch; I guessed she was gonna be a lunchbox friend, a "friend" during lunch but ignored me outside it. I turned out to be wrong, though, unfortunately. She looked like she'd be a popular girl but no one batted an eye at us, so I was clearly wrong, as surprising as that was. She was only a few inches shorter than me, which was a bit unnoticeable and completely irrelevant, as she isn't that important to my story. Well, in a few moments, she'd be relevant enough but for the remainder of it? Not really, hoe. Her hair was hella awesome; short, dark, and epicly spikey; she looked like a rockstar with that hairstyle, but the rest of her was very preppy. Unfortunately, I could not, for the life of me, remember her name; she only said it once and for me to remember, I gotta hear it, at least, twelve times a day for a month. However, that wouldn't be the case for them, the people I'd risk my entire being for, despite hardly even knowing them. Happy sigh. I love them.
After getting our food, she led me to a table, where her friends sat. I couldn't remember their names either, after introductions were made. Also, I could've sworn that I saw someone waving at me from the corner of my eye but I paid them no mind; it was probably just my imagination.
That's when the moment of truth happened. The day my life changed forever. I saw them. I saw my soulmate and his family. I saw the man of my wet dreams and the family I kinda wished I could fuck, too, because, to be honest, they were a bit better looking than my man. No offense.
At the vast corners of the cafeteria, far away from everyone else that was enjoying their lunch, they sat; what strange sitting arrangements, having a single table cut off from the rest of the entire room. Very strange, indeed, but who was I to judge? Pfft, hahahahaha! I'm kidding, of course; I was always judging everyone and everything. The setup was complete shit in the cafeteria, but that was beside the point; the main focus of my attention was them.
So, altogether, it was a family of five, and that was just counting the not-siblings by themselves; oh, wait, I wasn't supposed to know they were "related". Erm, I meant to say, oh wow, five people chilling together at lunch; so ordinary, wow, and yet they were holding my attention. It was crazy, man; I met so many people that were ordinary and didn't wanna talk to them again but an awkward and strange seating arrangement made me find a group of ordinary people interesting. I had such great taste in people.
Silence; they weren't moving their mouths, so I assumed they weren't speaking with each other. They had food, as did everyone else, but for whatever reason, they weren't eating it. Like, they could've just sat down and chatted or chilled; it wouldn't have been that weird, not getting food, because I was like that sometimes since I wasn't always hungry. Like everyone else, minus the few nerds, geeks, and preps that wanted to befriend me, they weren't staring at me in interest; what the fuck was wrong with the school student body? I thought people were supposed to get hyped over the new girl? Or did that only happen with new guys? I wanted popularity so badly! Everything was officially, without a doubt, ruined. Fuck life. Fuck school. Fuck everyone, and quite literally fuck the whole family I was staring at; I would hop into bed with all of them if I could.
First, I shall give you the best description of their appearances ever to be given in existence; they looked exactly alike, except they didn't, and were complete opposites. Such a great description, right? It really isn't; that was my joke description, I promise. Now, for the real one.
First off, there were three males and two females; all of them were smoking hot in different ways. Of the men, one was extremely muscular, another was tall and lean but also had muscles and, compared to the one before him, his hair was a lot lighter, and the last broth-erm boy, I mean man-male, he was scrawnier than the other two combined and his hair was just a complete utter mess but it kinda looked sexy. Oh. My. God. Sex hair; he had sex hair. Even hotter.
Of the women, the blonde was hella tall, looked like a goddamn model, had to be popular despite her less popular looking not-siblings cause how could she not be, hair was fucking long as shit (I'd be tripping over it, I was certain), and personality was probably stereotypically bitchy for no reason other than fitting her overall physical appearance. The pixie with spiky cropped hair of darkness was less hot, a lot shorter, very thin instead of curvy like the blonde, and, from what I could guess, probably had a bubbly personality.
They had absolutely one single thing in common with each other: paleness.
I thought I was pale; bitch, they looked like porcelain dolls, holy shit, they were that goddamn pale. I cannot even. From afar, it looked like their eyes were all dark; like I said, from afar. Up close, I'd probably be able to tell the actual colors of their eyes. Also, from what I could tell, it was like they all either wore eyeliner or had insomnia; shadows of some kind seemed to be underneath their eyes. Other than that, they all looked perfect; way too perfect to be human. Hehe. Spoilers; don't tell anyone.
I kept staring. God, they were so hot; still are, by the way. Lucky me.
Ugh, gosh, they were so inhumanly sexy! They could just eat me alive and I wouldn't scream for help; I'd just die happy. So fucking hot. I felt like I was gonna faint from their beauty; I actually almost did, but at the last second, I remembered I was at school and I'd never be popular if I did something stupid like that over something equally, if not more, stupid. The blonde was easily the hottest; I'd go lesbian for her, absolutely.
They continued to just sit there, in silence, never touching any of their food. They didn't even take a sip of drink. Such a waste, man; they should've just done what I suggested earlier. They were just putting more unwanted attention upon themselves for getting all that and never touching it. The tiny female stood suddenly, taking her tray with her; she skipped to the trash bin, threw away the untouched food and soda (wasted, I say), and gracefully walked out the back exit. I wondered why the others didn't follow; maybe she forgot something and went to deal with it.
Casually, I looked at those within my own table; they were chatting and eating. I took a bite out of my own food and sipped from my soda can. "So," I said, trying to be discreet. I probably failed epicly at that, to be honest; discretion is not my middle name, unfortunately. "Could you tell me who they are?" I glanced at the preppy girl, whose name I still couldn't remember.
The second she looked at me and I gestured to the table I was referring to, we both glanced over to the aforementioned table just as my future man for lifey looked towards her. For just a second, he stared; then, he stared at me, our eyes locking. I was already in lust (love); it would take a bit longer before he was in lust (love) with me, too. I mean, what? Nothing. You didn't hear that. I wasn't lusting (loving) for him, no; and he definitely wasn't gonna do the same with me later; I mean, how could I possibly know? Oh wait, because I'm in the present and this is the retelling of my past. Yes, I will keep reminding you for no reason other than to annoy you; I'm allowed because I'm about to fucking die, you ungrateful bitches. Appreciate my life story; I'll be dead soon.
As quickly as he looked and stared at me, he was glancing away again, gazing at nothing in particular once more. I didn't glance away, not even for a second or out of embarrassment; I was gonna keep watching him, because he was the one for me. Kidding, I didn't know that then, so I was just staring because I didn't have the sense to look away like any normal person would've. He didn't look back towards me; it was very disappointing because I wanted to make a sexy face for him, goddamn it. Uncool.
I finally looked away. Preppy girl was cringing in her seat; I guess she felt awkward. To be fair, I did, too, but it didn't make me feel uncomfortable because I was used to being that way.
In a whisper, for whatever reason, she uttered their names; it was both helpful and unhelpful because whilst I learnt their names, I didn't know which male was who because she hadn't said enough to let me know. "Right, so, they're Maverick and River Soren, and Flora and Atticus Phoenix. The lollipop head girl, who isn't over there anymore, was Briar-Fleur Soren. Together, they live in harmony with Dr. Ansel Soren and his lover, Clover May."
I snuck a glance; damn it, he wasn't looking our way again. However, it looked like he was finally eating and talking to his not-siblings, even though it seemed like they weren't paying attention.
Such unique, epic names. I could definitely remember those; they were very easy to recall, unlike preppy girl's name. Wait. Wait a second. Oh my God. At that very moment, as I admired those lovely names, I remembered the namesake of the preppy girl and, immediately, I knew why I'd forgotten; her name was Erica and it was such a generic name, I didn't care enough to remember it because it was just so typical. Her parents must not have personalities.
I bit the inside of my cheek; I literally had to bite back my vulgar words because I didn't wanna lose the only "friend" I could've had in the school. "Cool names. They look pretty handsome, too, don't they?"
Suddenly, Erica transformed from preppy gal to gossiper extraordinaire. "Omfg, hell yes!" She bit her lip, then giggled shortly before sighing dreamily, then sighing in disappointment. Okay then…? "It's too bad they're all dating each other, though." I must have looked horrified because she immediately explained. "I don't mean they all sleep together. No, River and Flora are banging it out, so are Atticus and Briar-Fleur. I thought it was weird, too, at first, all of them living together and claiming to be siblings, but then, I realized it was more like a foster care sort of deal, you know? They're siblings, sure, but not by blood relation, so it's not, like, incest. Oh, Maverick is completely available but no one wants to hit that like they do with his siblings, which I totally get because he's the least attractive of the bunch. Besides, he isn't interested in people either, so win-win, I suppose." She shrugged.
"So, who's who? For the guys, I mean?" I asked, glancing back towards their table. DAMN IT! He still wasn't looking! Son of a bitch!
She talked about something other than what I wanted to know. "You know, their foster dad, Ansel, the doctor I talked about? He's pretty sexy, too. It's too bad he's already got a lover, though; I'd love to hit that, get a private medical examination if you know what I mean." She giggled at herself.
I stared at her, an eyebrow raised. "Aren't medical examinations private already?"
She looked thoughtful. "Well, sort of, I guess." She stared at me. "Did you ask me something?" I nodded. "Could you repeat your question? I hadn't been listening." Clearly.
I sighed and shook my head, waving off her words. "It wasn't important." I glanced at them again; they were still there, not doing much, never looking in my direction like I wanted them to, especially that one boy in particular. "That was really decent of them, Ansel and Clover May, I mean. It's pretty cool that they took care of them when no one else would."
"Totally. It just sucks that she can't have her own kids, you know? Must be such a bummer."
"Have they lived here long?"
"Nope, only two years. They came from Aliden, which is some small place in the middle of Skaala, I think."
That's wonderful, I thought dreamily. They were outcasts, popular somewhat but still outcasts. I could relate; I didn't fit in with those people that kept harassing me. I'd be better off with the Soren Phoenix not-siblings. Ooooh, that's pretty good for a coven name! Soren Phoenixes; it kinda sounds like Soaring Phoenixes, which is even better because actual Phoenixes are awesome. I mean, coven? What? I didn't say coven. No, you heard wrong. No, what I said instead was look, the sex hair boy finally looked at me again! Eeek! I felt complete; I didn't make a sexy face, though, because I lost the will to try. I couldn't tell what his expression was, though; he was too far away. Damn it, I wanted to know if he was interested in me, too. "So, which one is the available, supposedly unattractive brother?" I asked, looking at Erica again.
I snuck another glimpse; yep, he was still staring. At least I assumed it was my lovely self he was gazing upon. He must have been in lust (love) with me already. Happy sigh.
"That would be the one staring at you," she answered. "He's Maverick." She shook her head at me. "I don't know what you see in him; I mean, you're obviously really interested since you're asking about him. I already told you; he isn't interested in people. You'll just be wasting your time."
I smirked. "I love a good challenge."
Erica shrugged. "It's your funeral." Okay, admittedly, that comment did kinda wig me out. She rolled her eyes at me. "I meant your heart; it's gonna get broken, like, so hard." I just shrugged; I didn't believe that at all.
Soon, the hot foster siblings stood and did as the sister before them had; left the cafeteria through the back exit, after tossing their mostly uneaten food, and unsipped drinks, away. I quite enjoyed watching them leave; I hated to see them go. Such sadness.
Even after I long finished my food and soda, I remained sitting with Erica (I can't believe I still remember her name…) and her unappealing friends. I was ready for class; I wanted the day to be over with, plus I needed to know if I had a class with one of the hotties. That would be so great. One of the unappealing friends started talking to me; she reintroduced herself as Chrysanthemum Miller, but asked to be called Cyrus. Immediately, she was no longer unappealing; her name was epic, too. I would never call her Cyrus; she was Chrysanthemum, always. She told me what her next class was and, well, it was mine, too. We ended up walking there together. She didn't speak to me once along the way; she must be really bashful, how adorable. I might end up liking her most out of my "friends".
Eventually, we entered our biography classroom. Wait, biography? Was that what it was? ...No, it was biology. Eh, biography, biology; they're close enough to being the same, not really but I'm embarrassed that I thought it was called biography. Jesus, I'm an idiot.
Anyway, Chrysanthemum immediately went to her seat; it was a lab table. Biography doesn't have lab tables. I really am a goddamn idiot; I deserve to be about to die. I gazed around; almost every single lab table was full, except for his. Maverick Soren. He still had his sex hair. I was doing backflips in my head; I had a class with one of the hotties. Fuck yeah! I would be able to start putting on my moves; well, not on the first day but maybe the third would be a good time to begin trying to sleep with him. I meant what I said.
Blah blah blah, sign sign sign, trip trip trip, sit sit sit. That's code for the following: shit happened. Hehe, I'm hilarious. Anyway, no; I got the slip signed (never forgot I had it; I still think it was pointless to have) and I tripped a lot, that's what it meant. And then, I sat down, after falling on my face twice. Everyone, but Maverick and Chrysanthemum, laughed; how sweet of them. However, only Chrysanthemum looked concerned about me when I glanced her way; Maverick just looked angry. Awwww, he didn't like everyone laughing at me! So sweet! Getting laid by him will be easier than I thought!
I caught a glimpse of his eyes; it was like staring into the eyes of a demon, they were so pitch black. Damn. That's hot. Demons are just so sexy, I- Oop, sorry; getting off topic here.
Mr. Stark never introduced me to the class; I liked him immediately. It was also thanks to him that I got to sit with Maverick; I'm sure he made the previous seating arrangements. None of that really matters; Mr. Stark is just a random unimportant character in my story; just ignore his presence when he shows up.
Maverick wouldn't stop looking angry. By that point, I realized he wasn't mad about everyone laughing at me; he was pissed that I was sitting with him. And here I thought getting laid would be easy…
I glanced at him throughout class; he actively kept himself out of my reach, looking like he smelled a fart. He probably did; I wouldn't be surprised if one of the guys sitting in front of or behind us let one loose. I discreetly sniffed my armpit anyway, though, to be sure; yeah, he wasn't smelling me, I smelt like sunshine (that means I had no fragrance leaving my body). Anyway, since he was being an ass, ignoring me and shit when I'd done nothing to him (and did everything to everyone else, mentally), I actively ignored him, too. Take that, future man of mine.
Class was boring; the teacher talked about shit I already knew. I just doodled in my notebook because fuck notes.
I'll admit, I never actually ignored Maverick; I kept glancing to see if he'd calm his man-tits. He remained in the same position the entire time; that couldn't have been comfortable. To each their own methods of anger and disgust. I still thought he was hot, though, despite how much of an ass he was being to me. He was turning out to be like everyone else; annoying and a waste of space. There was one difference, though; he was clenching his fists. Like, dude, what the fuck did I do? Did I breathe wrong? Fucking what, man? He's so lucky I still dated his ass; I mean, I never got to date him, what? I was single up until my death-to-be; you must be seeing shit. Take your meds already; you're hallucinating.
Class dragged on.
Maverick stayed mad.
I lowkey wanted to cry and highkey wanted to die. Too bad it takes a few months before my death. Yeah, it's gonna be awhile before I explain why I'm about to die; right now, my past involves a lust (love) story, okay? Deal with it, bitch. The plot will come in later on, promise.
I glanced at him again. I got glared at by demon eyes. My badness.
Three years (seconds) later, class ended. Maverick sprinted out, followed by multiple others. Goddamn, does he hate me that much? I haven't done shit, yet.
I stayed in my seat for a bit, mentally cursing out my future man; he was a rude ass motherfucker. He must be really good in bed, though, holy shit. Maybe he's rough. I'm getting off topic again. Ummm. Oh, right; I was super sad, and mad, faced about his rudeness; well, I felt both things but my expression remained very blank.
"Wah wah wah wah." Some guy was talking to me. I didn't process a word he said, so gibberish is what I heard.
"Huh?" I looked at him. Ugh, not a fuck boi; anyone but one of them. Please.
He chuckled. "I said, you're Iris, right?" I blinked and nodded. He nodded back. "I'm Constantine." That's...a name; yeah, that is definitely a name. "What do you have next? Do you need help getting there?"
"Nah, I'm good. It's just gym. I'm pretty sure it'll stand out amongst the buildings."
"I'm heading there, too!"
"Yay." I wasn't happy about that, not one bit.
Together, we walked; it was the longest two-to-three minutes of my goddamn life. He. Wouldn't. Stop. Talking. Jesus. Christ. Lord. Satan. Somebody above, somebody below, save me from the bullshit, please. I don't even know what the hell he was talking about; it was all gibberish to me, like the language from The Sims. The only words I caught were "gym" and "friends"; either he was referring to having friends in gym or wanting to be my friend during gym. Hell no is what I wanted to say, but I stayed quiet and let him keep ranting about random bullshit. As we grew closer to the gym, I realized I recognized his face; he shared my first class with me, too. Damn. Also, he was too goddamn nice; weren't fuck boi's supposed to be charming, though? I was half expecting him to flirt at some point, but he didn't; perhaps later in the week.
Just before we entered the gymnasium area, thing, place where I would have the worst time ever, because gym class sucked ass, my arm was grabbed. I inwardly panicked; what is he doing? "I've been meaning to ask; what the hell did you do to Maverick? He took off out of the classroom like a bat outta Hell. Did you steal his pen? Stab his hand with lead? What exactly? He's never acted that way before, at least not since I've met him."
Protective of classmates, ain't he? He sounded angry, just a little bit. I was embarrassed, but I didn't show it; why the fuck did he have to notice? That was a question I couldn't really answer; I had no clue (snicker) why he was mad at me or why he took off running when class was over. It wasn't my smell (snort); I didn't have a fragrance to grimace at. I never touched him, even though I would've liked to. "I have absolutely no idea, man. He was like that when I got there. I didn't say a word to him; I hardly even looked at the man." That last bit was a lie; I glanced at him a lot, he was really hot, even when angry at me for no apparent reason. Sigh. One day, he would be mine…
"Are you sure you didn't do anything?" I wanted to strangle the fuck boi (or maybe I should call him wannabe fuck boi because first, he was too charming (from trying too hard to be likable), and then, he was slightly blowing his top in the defense of a classmate he probably never spoken to in the two years he'd been in Spoonz). Why was he so demanding? Did he want to fuck Maverick, too? Goddamn, he was pissing me off.
"Dude, back off; I didn't do shit. Something must have happened before I got in there. Maybe he had an argument with someone and took it out on me. I really don't fucking know. Get the hell off my back, please, for fuck's sake." I didn't care if he hated me for that or not; he was getting on my last nerve.
Whatever his name was (Stanley? Cormac? Fuck me… CONSTANTINE!), his anger was suddenly out the window. Instead, he was smirking at me. What have I done? "Hot." Oh, why me? "Alright. I believe you." He shrugged. "It was probably nothing. He can be strange sometimes." Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me. What the fuck was with the third degree then?! "We would've had a blast if you'd been able to sit with me."
"I highly doubt that." He chuckled at me.
Briefly, he lingered beside me; he ended up watching me enter the girls' locker room, the pervert. He truly was a wannabe fuck boy; he needed a reality check. He was all nice and friendly, but then, his true colors came out; he wanted a woman in his bed, wrapped around his fingers so he could rely on them for the rest of his life. He either needed a new personality or someone who was absolutely cool with having someone like him until they died. My mood was already sour but he made it worse.
When I met my teacher, I immediately felt like I was in an episode of South Park. Coach Wacko Condom. I wish I was joking. Firstly, who in their right mind would name their child, Wacko? They must've hated becoming parents. Hell, why would anyone refer to anybody as Wacko, namesake or otherwise? It sounded very morally wrong; racist even. Secondly, I never thought that would be a last name for anybody but it was and it was absolutely baffling. Maybe he changed it to that. The fuck if I know. How no one in the class laughed when he introduced himself to me, I have no idea; maybe they were all high as kites. I wish I was.
I was given a uniform; I didn't have to dress up that day but I did so anyway because I felt like it. I wasn't looking forward to having to take the class again the following year, because it was a requirement for some reason; I'm glad I'm dying right now. Crisis averted. Unfortunately, because I chose to dress, I had to partake in volleyball with the rest of the class; it was a bitch. Luckily, I didn't get injured and I didn't manage to hurt someone else; awesome, epic win.
I wanted to jump for Jesus when the bell rang, signaling the ending of my first day at Spoonz High. I wanted so badly to sprint to the front office with my signed slip; I wanted to go home, as depressing and dull it was, because it was a lot better there. Good news; it wasn't raining anymore, which was a miracle in itself. Bad news; the wind was trying really hard to blow me away and failed, but it did succeed in blinding me with my own hair. I further tucked myself into my jacket, walking faster. The sooner I left, the better.
I entered the front office; it was cozy in there, compared to what was happening outside. Unfortunately, I felt like screaming (in anger or excitement, I don't know) because Maverick Soren, the rude asshole I was lusting (loving) for, was standing there at the desk, back towards me. It was a nice backside. I impatiently waited for him to finish whatever he was doing; I checked out his ass because I have no shame. It sounded like he was having an argument with the dyed hair lady. I realized he was trying to get out of the class we shared; oh, fuck me sideways.
As I waited, I began to think my day over. I started feeling a bit bad; I was such a bitch to just about everyone who talked to me, in my head. So, Maverick being mad at me for no reason was my karma; I regrettably knew how it felt to know someone didn't like you when you wanted them to like you. Would I change my outlook of everyone? No, but I regretted my behavior, as temporary as that regret was gonna be.
Briefly, someone stepped in and out of the office; that was when Maverick finally acknowledged my presence. He glanced at me; I knew he was gonna glare again but it still bothered me when it happened. He really fucking hated me, for absolutely no reason; just like I hated everyone else for little-to-no reason. Karma was an epic bitch. I didn't look away from him; I kept eye contact. His demon eyes were gorgeous. He looked back at the lady, who was wearing her goofy glasses. Boy, were they goofy.
When he spoke to her again, I froze; I didn't pay attention to anything he told her. I finally understood why people had voice kinks; holy shit, he sounded just as hot as he looked. I was gonna have the best of dreams, without a single fucking doubt. I blinked out of my fantasies when he rushed past me, leaving the office. Damn it, I missed my chance to stare at that ass some more. Pouting, I stepped forward and gave the lady the stupid signed slip; I still thought it was pointless, by the way.
I expected her to ask how my day went but she immediately just went back to her paperwork. Well then. "My day was great, in case you wanted to fucking know." She didn't acknowledge my words, the bitch.
By the time I finally got to my almost brand new classic car, just about everyone had already left. Damn; I hadn't thought I took that long, shit. I just sat there for a bit, had a good cry; yes, I cried. Why did I cry? I was frustrated that karma got me back for my attitude. I wasn't gonna change shit about my views, though. Karma could suck my white ass.
I went home to Cassius.