Day 19
Ellen stormed through the palace, not even bothering to hide her wrath. Servants fled from her sight and even the iron-disciplined Tempestus Scions seemed nervous as she passed them by, marching into her chambers.
Her? Weak!?!
She'd have Praxiah's head on a platter at the end of this, along with anyone who followed her heresy. It took every ounce of self-restraint she had to not command the Imperial Guard follow her little crusade and slay every Sister of Battle in that damned tunnel.
But no. Not yet. Not with so many other threats to deal with.
She growled as she activated the display, updated with the newest reports from the battlefield and other insights. The four rebel cities in the west were displayed in blue, the genestealer controlled hives in purple. The Ork forces were green splotches across the planet, roiling like oceans as they crashed against the defenses of the hives. Those hives still loyal were crimson red. And Malum, Throne-damned Malum, was among them, somehow. The entire south was in rebellion, except for the one spot where the most rebels seemed to gather.
She altered the controls of the display and the hive changed to a sickly yellow. Let the Sisters have their 'blessed city'. The God-Emperor would see her vindicated yet and they would all burn, like the rest of those skeletons in that tunnel.
She would go about saving what remained. No more waiting, no more holding her forces in reserve. When this damnable warp storm ended, not one of the traitors would still be drawing breath. If her own forces were damaged she'd conscript replacements from those still loyal.
"Bring me the Lord-General," She commanded into her commbead. "Tell him it is time for the Hammer of the Imperium to come down upon this heretical filth."
They would start by slaughtering every Ork around Deimos. Then, they would move to free Mania, then reinforce Whiro. Half the regiments under the command of the Lord-General, supplemented by PDF forces gathered from each city they passed through, would move south to destroy the remaining genestealers.
The rest of the regiments would be hers and they would deal with the Orks in the rest of the north before descending upon Ate and the traitors therein with His fury in their hearts.
Serrita felt the Rhino lurch to one side as its treads came upon a particularly large and stubborn pile of skeletons, though there was a muffled, dry cracking sound as the ancient bones disintegrated under the heavy weight of the transport. She winced beneath her armor. The driver had not slowed down the speed of the vehicle in the slightest, possibly due to the fervor of the serf piloting it, possibly out of a desire to depart from the tunnel as soon as possible.
Serrita couldn't blame him if that was the case. The tunnel was not a pleasant place to be in for herself either, regardless of the heat. She had lost over a dozen of her fellow initiates in this place when she had first travelled through it. Friends she had known for years. Her memories of that time were muddled by delirium and exhaustion, so she could not even say which skeletons were theirs… But that only made her feel kinship with them all.
Her fellow Sisters, even her own Retributors, had told her that such initiates were failures. Not worthy of memory or mourning. Serrita… could not agree. They were not scum for having limits. They were devoted, hard-working, faithful… That had just not been enough to keep them alive. They deserved remembrance and she often thought of the names of each of her dead friends when she prayed to the God-Emperor, hoping they were at His side.
She thought of their names now as she prayed for guidance in the task that had been given to her.
After the Inquisitor had departed fuming, and not from the heat of the tunnel, the Canoness had ordered her to ride ahead of the main force and ready Malum for their arrival. The sudden appearance of a heavily armed force within the city's walls, especially at a time of high alert, was not likely to be received warmly. Even if they were Sisters of Battle.
No longer needing to maintain apace with the marching Sisters and serfs, the Rhino that had been requisitioned for the task of carrying her and her squad ahead of the rest had sped their journey considerably. Another two days of marching had been transformed into a few hours ride. Serrita wouldn't complain.
The tunnel's end, where the air was marginally cooler than the rest, was marked by a statue of the Imperial Aquilla, its vast wings overshadowing the two massive exits that led into the chapel above. By all appearances from the outside, said chapel was unremarkable in all ways. Sisters who made it to the end of the tunnel were granted a brief respite from the heat to pray before the God-Emperor.
Those who weren't able to speak the prayer properly were bade to return to the tunnel and not come out again. Serrita's best friend was one who had stumbled over the words and been commanded to depart.
The convent had been alerted ahead of time and preparations for the arrival of the Sisters of Battle and their vehicles were already made. Their Rhino had ample space to drive into the lift that carried them to the surface swiftly and cleanly. Serrita barely remembered the convent or her time there during initiation, though she recalled far more than she had of the journey through the tunnel itself. She had not had a reason to return in her years of service.
The convent was filled with the vox-chants of numerous litanies and prayers, as any convent always was. They had arrived in the middle of a service and even the sound of the Rhino's idling engine was drowned out by the cries of praise and worship from the throng of civilians.
Their arrival was met with no little fanfare. As the lift crawled to a stop and opened into the central hall of the convent, the mass of humanity seemed both drawn towards them and pushed away. The Rhino slowly moved forward and convent serfs formed a barricade around it, forcing away the worshipful citizens of the Imperium so they were not crushed beneath the tread of the tank and possibly hamper its movement.
Serrita thought for a moment, then opened the hatch of the Rhino, rising out of it to gaze upon the God-Emperor's people. The appearance of her gleaming white helmet sent them into seeming rapture, tears streaming down their eyes, praises of the God-Emperor leaving their lips, their hands reaching out as if they hoped to touch the Rhino or her armor, despite their limbs being nowhere long enough to reach past the blockade of serfs.
"Sister?" One of her Retributors, Allay, spoke, her tone just sort of condescending thanks to the mechanical filter of their vox. "We should keep our heads down until we reach the governor's palace. There is no telling what corruption may have possessed this city."
Allay was one of the few among the Sisters who… disagreed with Canoness Praxiah's decision to go against the wishes of the Inquisitor. She was also a veteran nearly as old as the Canoness herself and had seemingly made it her duty to inform Serrita of every mistake she made. Allay had not risen up the ranks like other veterans, seemingly content in her position as a Retributor, but she was also less than pleased by having someone as young as Serrita be her commanding officer.
"These people are the ones we have come to save, Sister Allay," Serrita said simply. "They are the God-Emperor's people."
"They do little more than work in His factories," Allay scoffed. "Their duties could be fulfilled more efficiently by servitors."
As their transport reached the end of the congregation, the heavy doors of the convent that were only opened for special events swinging wide to let them pass, Serrita lowered herself back into the Rhino and fixed her helmeted gaze upon her subordinate.
"We are here to protect our people, Sister," Serrita said, a hint of sharpness in her voice. "This is the God-Emperor's will."
Allay seemed to bristle under her armor but said nothing to that. She may have disagreed with Praxiah, but she was not so foolish as to speak that insubordinate belief aloud. Serrita settled back into her seat, a smile on her lips, well-hidden behind her visor.
Purilla was falling in an empty void, sinking into the mattress of her bed. Thoughts ran rampant through her mind, images of the prior day's events flickering across her mind's vision. The stress of the past few days had finally caught up to her and, despite her excitedness at reconnecting with the Tide, she had collapsed into her bed the moment she'd returned to her personal chambers, swept up by a torrent of drowsiness.
It's just Tide, you know.
She opened her eyes at the voice that came from all around and through her, but she was no longer in her room. She was no longer in the governor's palace, or Deimos, or even Monstrum.
The place she was in was filled with trees. But not like half-remembered trees of her old home, whose name she could not recall, that structured agriworld with its neat rows of carefully cultivated trunks, space equidistant from one another. The trees here were wild, free, growing anywhere there was room, with underbrush covering the vast floor of the forest. It seemed to go on forever and she turned her head up to peer through the canopy. She saw the hints of a blue sky and a golden star hidden by swaying leaves and branches. The air she breathed was crisp and clear, free from even the most minor of chemical residue or recycled taste of filtration devices. She had never breathed such clean air and every lungful was possessed of a feeling of welcome, of belonging. Of home.
"Where are we?" She asked, but she already knew the answer. She had felt it before even opening her eyes, the presence of the-, of Tide. It was all around her, in every tree, in every bush, in each breath of air and each ray of sunlight.
She was surprised she could speak so clearly in this place in comparison to last time. Had something changed within her? No, she decided. The presence of Tide was less intense, less choking. It was still as powerful as before, but it wasn't so focused on her anymore.
This is a memory of my own. One of Earth. You know it as Terra. This is it as it was many tens of thousands of years ago, when there was still vibrance to that world.
She sucked in another breath at that knowledge. Even after being shown so much, there was a part of her that still held Holy Terra in reverence. Was that wrong? Should she apologize? Beg for forgiveness-
No.
The simple statement came with intensity, but it was not the kind that intimidated. Instead, it was a plea, a request, and it shocked her into silence far more than any rebuke could have.
You have done nothing to wrong me. Your connection to your homeworld is not something to ever apologize for.
She vaguely recognized that the rhyming way Tide had spoken to her before was no longer in use.
I don't desire to talk down to you. I did then because it was effective in showing you what you needed to see, what you needed to do. Now, I wish for you to understand that, while we are different in innumerable ways, we are more similar than you think. To that end…
She felt a shift, a change in the space around her, but visually there was nothing different. However, she felt something like a pressing on the back of her neck, the presence of something more… concentrated then the diffuse memory around her. She turned and saw… someone.
They were not human. They were tall, nearly two and a half meters at a glance, and had grey, tough-looking skin, with a long neck and almost hunched posture. Their legs were digitigrade, almost like a Tau's, with large hooves. Their hands were four-fingered with two of those being thumbs on opposite sides of the hands. Most noticeable, however, was their face. Four, mandible-like jaws formed the lower half of the xeno's mouth, with two silver eyes embedded in the skull above them.
The xeno was clad in silver, almost archaic-looking armor. They sat in the hollow of one of the massive trees almost like a throne. Another tree facing them had a similar hollow but shaped for someone of human size and body type. Shaped for her.
"I hope you don't mind." The xeno spoke with the voice of Tide, though it only came from a single source rather than all around her.
"Is this…" Purilla trailed off, unsure of how to phrase her question. It was pointless, of course, since Tide already knew what she was going to ask.
"Not my 'true form', by any means," Tide said. The jaws moved in strange ways, yet the voice was very human in sound. "Just one I adopted for easier conversation. Please, take a seat if you like."
There was a staircase leading up to the hollow, one that seemed to have grown out from the trunk of the tree itself, made of the same bark, yet surprisingly flat and level. She studied the xeno in front of her.
"Why not a… human form?" Purilla asked, trying not to be rude. A few weeks ago, she'd have fled at the sight of such a xeno. While she was less inclined towards terror or disgust now, she couldn't help but find the sight of such a large and obviously powerful alien so close to her. Especially one regaled in wargear.
As she sat in the tree, she was expecting it to be rigid, even uncomfortable, but it was surprisingly smooth and even soft like a pillow.
"It did not seem right," Tide replied simply and the xeno did an approximation of what she assumed to be a shrug. "I am not like you. I do not wish you to think of me as a normal or even strangely powerful human. I am alien to you in both form and mind, make no mistake. But that doesn't mean we have to conflict."
Purilla nodded rapidly, not wanting the… entity that had showed her the truth of things to think she was opposed to it for not being human. It was just…
"Indoctrination is not an easy thing to overcome, I understand," Tide said and the xeno waved one of their hands almost dismissively. "Humanity has been given ample reason to fear the alien. As many aliens have been given ample reason to fear humans. But, please, I know you have questions. If you'd like to, I will gladly answer them."
"What- Who are you?"
She got the feeling the xeno was smiling at her as their mandibles peeled back. However, perhaps sensing the sight was disturbing to her, they stopped soon after.
"Well, to answer the 'what' first," Tide seemed to find amusement in her misstep, though she sensed no ill-will or maliciousness in their words. "What you call 'Organism-04' is an extension of me. I am a being adept at the manipulation of genetics, be it human or xenos. It comes naturally to me, as breath does for you. I spread, I grow, I change and adapt. I can 'infect' humans as you have seen and now experienced for yourself, though the extent of my abilities goes far beyond that. Also, as you have now experienced, for which I would like to apologize."
The memory of her hand twisting into a spear-like shape, the sound of bones fracturing and refusing, was not a pleasant one.
"Is… you said that tech-priest was…"
"He lives and is at work even as we speak. He simply has no memory of your presence within the lab or the events that occurred therein. The vial you took has been replaced, the augur and their recordings have similarly forgotten the incident."
Purilla breathed a sigh of relief, leaning back into the hollow. It was very comfortable, almost supernaturally so. She could have fallen asleep within its embrace. Could she sleep in this place? Wasn't she already asleep?
"As for the 'who', as I told you, I am Tide," They continued.
"Are you… the panacea, like Vidriov thinks?" Purilla asked. She didn't believe they were, but…
"I am not, nor am I a creation of your people's ancestors," Tide stated. "That said, I hold no ill-will towards humanity as a people. Individuals among your Imperium are a different matter, of course."
"Like Ellen," Purilla said, grimacing. She could feel the distaste for the Inquisitor from Tide. It was not thanks to her psychic abilities, so she could only assume they were permitting her to sense those feelings. "Are you… of the Warp?"
"Not even remotely," Tide said, almost in an assuring manner. "The realm of Chaos holds no sway over me. The Ruinous Powers are even more repugnant to me than they are to you. They are parasites on the universe itself that have caused damage to all reality, cysts in the skin of the Warp."
She had already gotten a good look at how Tide felt regarding daemons and their dark masters, but to hear it confirmed for her was a blessing. She knew well the perils of the Warp and a small part of her had feared Tide was unaware of them. Of course, that was nonsense, how could such a powerful being not know?
She suddenly got the distinct feeling the xeno was frowning at her, though its jaw structure made such a thing impossible.
"I am not omniscient, Purilla. You have several misconceptions about me, through no fault of your own," Tide said, the xeno's long head shaking back and forth. "We did not have enough time to speak before for a more thorough discussion."
"I-…" Purilla started to apologize, but stopped. Tide had already said it was not her fault. The xeno smiled again and Purilla found it slightly less unsettling.
"First and foremost, I feel it important to inform you that I am not a god or any kind of divine being," Tide said and Purilla blinked. She… supposed she had thought of him with the same reverence as she once had the God-Emperor? Was that displeasing. "I possess might and abilities others do not, but that is all it is: might and abilities. No more divinely granted than a human's lungs."
"Then… Do you worship any gods?" Purilla asked, mostly from curiosity. Even after what she had experienced, she found it difficult to imagine someone not believing in a god.
"None at all," Tide replied. "Though I hold nothing against religion in general or those who follow them. Merely the worship of such entities as the ruinous powers or others masquerading as gods whose actions making them deserving of nothing but eradication."
"Like… the Emperor?"
Tide paused, as if in consideration. It was sort of reassuring, that such a being still needed time to construct an answer to what may have been a difficult question.
"The Emperor is… a conundrum I have yet to solve," Tide finally admitted. "His beliefs and plans are obfuscated by countless lies and half-truths. As I said, I am not omniscient, not even close to it. My knowledge is expansive in some areas, but severely limited in others. It grows as I grow, but I may never find the answer. Even if I did, I would likely forever doubt its veracity. He has many masks, most crafted by His own hands, many placed upon Him by worshippers."
That was… surprising. Purilla was not used to people admitting when they were wrong or didn't know something. Her teachers as a psyker had always seemed to know the answer to any questions she dared to ask. Although, looking back now, she realized they had likely been repeating the same things they had been told.
"It's easy to believe something to be true when everyone says it is," Tide shrugged again. "The difficult part is determining who actually knows what they're talking about and who is just repeating what they were told. The Imperium, unfortunately, has more of the latter than the former."
Purilla considered their words, mulling them over in her head. A thought occurred to her. "What you showed me before, it was… Was that the universe dying?"
"This universe is suffering, not dying," Tide corrected. "Not yet, at least. Just as you have insight that most humans do not, I do as well, albeit not of the Warp. I suppose you could say I am more in tune with the universe. It is alive, in its own way."
"Alive?"
"Mm," Tide seemed to be considering something for a long moment and silence fell across the forest for a time before he spoke again. "There are others, not unlike me, who refer to this concept as 'Neural Physics'. It is difficult to explain, even in this place where meaning is conveyed beyond just words. This concept is what grants me much of my power and abilities."
Purilla was no longer in the forest, but in the void filled with glittering stars. She saw long strands of a sinew-like material, soft blue and glowing white, stretching between those far-off places, spanning impossible distances. They were beautiful in a way she couldn't describe and they seemed to thrum with life. The vision lasted no longer than a moment before she was back in the forest once more.
"Those are called 'Star Roads'. Some, even greater than I at wielding Neural Physics to the same degree that the Emperor is mightier in psychic powers than you, can fashion them from base matter. Such creations are only a fraction of the possibilities granted."
"You possess such might?!?" Purilla was astounded. Constructs that spanned the impossible distances between stars. Such things would render even the greatest works of Mankind less than toys by comparison.
"No. I am comparatively weak among those who are more learned in Neural Phsyics," Tide admitted again. "Though my adeptness at wielding these abilities grow alongside my knowledge, such things will take me many centuries to even hope to achieve."
"C-centuries?" Purilla repeated. That amount of time was… nothing in the grand scheme of things. Ordinary humans, with proper medical treatments, had lived longer than that.
"At least," Tide added, seeming almost embarrassed. "According to my own speculation. It could be far longer and I will need to grow many times larger, though I do believe I will eventually reach that might."
"You grow," Purilla singled out the term. "Do you just need to spread to more people?"
"That is one method, yes," Tide said. "However, one I am less than comfortable using, even during times where it is necessary like now. I do not 'grow' by spreading. I grow from… the dead being added to my biomass."
Purilla felt a cold tendril snake into her heart. "T-the dead?" She whispered.
"I am afraid so," Tide confirmed, sounding ashamed, the xeno's head lowering. "In Malum, as we speak, those who die of natural causes or of accidents, I add to my own growing form. It is… not something I enjoy."
At that, Purilla all but sank back into her tree-seat in relief. "Oh, I see. I thought you meant you were actively killing people."
She thought she might have felt something like surprise from Tide, perhaps even outright shock. "You… Have no issue with this?"
Purilla blinked, confused. "The souls of the dead pass into your care. I doubt you'd be tormenting them like daemons would. This realm of yours is also quite hidden, so they are not in danger of being swept away by the Warp."
This time she definitely felt shock from Tide.
"They… what?" The xeno blinked, mandibles wide almost like a human's jaw hanging open.
"You… weren't aware of this?" Purilla asked, glancing around at the trees. Their leaves were filled with the subtle power of countless sleeping souls. She'd thought they were just those connected to Tide through infection, like the one she'd piggybacked off of into Tide's realm. She hadn't noticed them that time, presumably due to the dark void's intensity, but they were obvious now. Had Tide really not known?
"No!" Tide exclaimed, sounding confused, delighted, and worried all at once. The xeno stood up, looking around at the leaves with a shockingly human look of wonder in their eyes. "I lack the Warp sight that you do. Nor was I looking through any but your surface thoughts when you returned here, I had not realized… Please, tell me, are they in pain? They aren't suffering, are they?"
"Uh," Purilla stumbled over her words and thoughts, surprised by the sudden change in Tide as the xeno closed the distance between them. The sheer pleading in the eyes of the xeno made any fear of them evaporate in the strangeness of this moment. "They're… Not as far as I can tell?"
The xeno did not speak but breathed a sigh of such relief that the realm around her itself seemed to brighten and grow even more… chipper, she thought was the word.
"Thank you, Purilla, thank you," Tide spoke with such sincerity that it made her feel almost embarrassed. Tide really wasn't omniscient, it seemed. "I thought… I wasn't sure if… Oh, thank you."
The xeno reached out and, before Purilla could understand what was happening, wrapped her in the warmest, most loving hug she had ever felt in the entirety of her life. If the tree-seat was comfortable, this was like sitting by a warm fire, wrapped in the fluffiest coat in the universe, sipping from a hot drink in the middle of a snowstorm. Feelings of Tide's relief and happiness flooded into her from the contact. The only thing Purilla could think was wondering how a xeno so terrifying in appearance and clad in metal armor gave such nice hugs.
The xeno stepped away after a moment and Purilla found herself almost missing the feeling.
"Sorry," Tide apologized, sheepishly. His tone almost sounded like a child who had just finished crying from joy. "A-hem."
In a moment, the feelings she sensed from Tide were returned to equilibrium. "I… was not aware the souls of those I Altered went to me upon their deaths. As I said, I lack the same powers that you do. However, I am deeply glad to hear they are not consigned to the mercies of the Warp."
"Ah, yes, of course," Purilla said, still somewhat unsure of what had just happened. She shook her head to clear it. "Um, you mentioned your biomass?"
"Yes," Tide said. "Much of the biomass I have gathered comes from humans who have died in Malum or from the Orks. Ah, are their souls, or whatever they have, here as well?"
"I'm… not sure?" Purilla admitted. It felt surprisingly good to be able to say she didn't know something without fear of punishment. She closed her eyes and reached out with her psychic senses. It was strange in this place, but the souls were like brightly-burning candles in her mind's eye amidst a sea of calm. There were innumerable seas of them, millions upon millions of every size. Some burned brighter than others, like torches, others were so small they were all but hidden among the ocean of firelights. "I… am not sure. Souls are difficult for me to differentiate at a glance, especially in such numbers."
"I see..." Tide somewhat reminded her of Vidriov learning a new piece of information. "Ah, my apologies again, I said I would answer your questions, but I am pestering you with my own. Please, ask away."
Purilla smiled. After everything that had just happened, she wasn't so sure Tide was some god-like being with an ultimate plan as she'd previously imagined. Perhaps they were something better than that. A person, like her, trying to make their way through a terrible universe without making things worse.
YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYE-
Tide's thoughts were a jumble even as a portion of his focus continued to converse with Purilla. The humans were fine!
Well, they were still dead, but their souls weren't at the tender mercies of daemons! He counted that as a huge win!
Purilla had already turned out to be of immense help to him through that revelation alone. He'd tried to limit what he read from her mind this time around to respect some semblance of her privacy, so he hadn't realized she could sense the souls around her. It was difficult for those limits to have greater accuracy than reading surface thoughts due to the nature of his Domain which essentially made most of those thoughts into speech, but he had tried.
The amount of relief he felt could not be properly expressed in words alone, but he honestly felt like dancing.
In unison, every Flood Form aboard the formerly Ork-controlled space hulk began to do a little jig. Tide had not been a very good dancer in his past life and the types of dance utilized by those of the Imperium were limited in that almost all of them were created and used by nobles for things like balls and other events. As a result, their dancing was rather subpar, but Tide didn't really care at the moment. In the total distraction of his Flood Forms, he did not realize he was indeed being watched by various ship security cameras.
The controller of said cameras was rather confused by the sudden event, but chalked it up to a strange ritual of these alien infected.
Tide himself likely would not have cared even if he had known someone was watching, so great was his joy.
Slowly, almost reluctantly, he pulled himself back from the unmitigated glee. As happy as this knowledge made him, he had work to do.
Purilla's insight in this matter had proven something he had begun to suspect already: He was all but blind to the Warp. Oh, he could likely see any physical manifestations of psychic power and the tear in his Domain that led into the Warp was rather obvious even to him, but seeing souls without the aid of a psyker was not something he could do. At least for the moment.
Was it a genetic problem, or a psychic issue? If his Domain, his 'mind' did not exist within the Warp but outside it, did that mean he didn't have a 'soul' of his own? Or was it just because Precursors weren't familiar with souls in the same way that those in 40k were aware of them?
He'd had no issues perceiving the daemon when it had entered his Domain, nor did his shredding it into its raw immaterial components make him lose sight of it. Obviously, daemons were different from souls, but in what way?
In a 'space' separate from the memory-illusion of Earth that he conversed with Purilla in, an empty void, he found nothing of interest. However, as he imprinted the space with that same illusion, he studied it closely. And it was there that he made his discovery.
He could see the souls of those Altered who had perished. They were very different from a living soul like Purilla, perhaps that was why he had not noticed them before. They were… subdued, barely active. Asleep, she had called them. That was a good word for it. If Purilla was a roaring flame and the essence of the daemon was a lake of calmed water, these were motes of dim light, like fireflies, easy to lose track of and difficult to distinguish. There were many more souls in his Domain than there were dead human Altered, but he couldn't tell which were, presumably, either orks or the wildlife he had initially spread through.
His Domain was clearly more than he had initially expected it to be and it was intriguing to him that he didn't understand its full capabilities. Intriguing… and concerning. While he had 'explored' it before, those studies and experiments he had conducted had been little more than messing around with the essence of Vra'kzil to limited benefit.
There were ideas he had, theories about how his Domain interacted with the Warp, but he hadn't dared to try any of them for fear of drawing notice or corruption from external powers. The ruinous powers were not the only dangers to him and the universe that resided in the Warp.
However, if he continued to operate in ignorance, there was the very real possibility of him missing something crucial, as had happened with the souls. Could he afford that risk? And could he afford the risk that came with seeking knowledge in this cursed galaxy?
Even with all the mental might of millions of minds that were his to call upon, he wasn't sure. He couldn't rush into things, so he would dwell on the matter for a time, working over the possible costs and possible benefits in his 'head'.