BPOV
ELEVEN MONTHS AGO
"The date has been set officially," my lawyer states over the phone. "October nineteenth. So, what we're going to be doing now…"
Everything had gone by in a blur after October nineteenth. Luckily Jasper was there, and she was on speaker phone. I honestly don't know what I would do without him. Right now I am scrubbing the bathroom shower to keep my mind off things for a while. Unfortunately, the voice- Edward doesn't allow me such a reprieve of this.
"Everything will be fine," Edward promises softly. "I promise. Besides, I'll be there every step of the way."
I snort shaking my head as I continue to scrub the pristine tile. "What do you know? You're just a voice in my head," I growl angrily. "You decided to do what you did and this is where you've left me. How you left me." I hold back the tears that threaten to take over.
Edward sighs softly, almost wistfully. "You're right, love. I cannot change that now though. However, I haven't lied to you thus far since then and I don't plan on doing it ever again. So please trust when I say, everything will turn out in the end."
Will it all turn out in the end though? Am I even strong enough for everything to come? I stop scrubbing when I hear the front door opening and closing back up. The tears finally take over. My emotions go haywire, I can't seem to control them as I hear footsteps drawl closer as panic sets into my body.
"Bella!" Jasper exclaims, his eyes alarmed as he takes me in and cautiously takes two large steps towards me before kneeling before me as to not frighten me. "Oh, darlin, come here," his arms stretch out for me.
My body aches to lunge for his embrace but my head shakes itself. "I can't comfort you anymore, Isabella. Let him hold you," Edward encourages softly making me shake my head even more but slowly as I watch Jaspers movements and breathing, I feel myself able to clear my head out more to concentrate.
"Can I come closer?" Jasper requests softly, his face full of worry just before it turns to shock when I launch my body into his arms. "Oof!" he grunts as he catches me, circling his arms around my waist securely. Jasper sits down, moving the cleaning chemicals I was working with out of his way and peels off the gloves protecting my hands. "I'm here," Jasper whispers rubbing my back in soft soothing circles. "Let it all out."
As he continues to talk, I continue to show absolutely no signs of stopping my tears any time soon. Eventually though, my body tires out and my body begins to feel heavy. My eyes burn from crying so much and I can only imagine what I must look like, but I can't even muster up the energy to care about it. As some more time passes, I feel my eyes begin to droop closed and then my body is shifted slightly but I lose my battle with staying conscious.
I'm on a beach somewhere in my dream, walking along the shore close to the water's edge so that when the tide comes washing up, my feet get covered. I giggle at the feeling of sand tickling my bare feet.
"Do you recognize this place?" Suddenly asks Edward seemingly out of nowhere, startling me as I look up to find him walking beside me now dressed in khaki shorts and a white button-down shirt.
I don't notice I stopped walking until he is a few feet ahead of me and turning around to look at me. I, however, am looking around the beach to see if I recognize the place.
"We took our honeymoon here," I reply softly as a fresh wave of water washes over my feet.
"That's right," Edward smiles widely. "You were so excited to be in the sun that I couldn't get you inside the first day we got here. Instead of making love to you in bed as originally planned, we made love just right there- "suddenly the scenery has changed slightly, and I am now watching two people who were madly in love making love on their honeymoon surrounded by candlelight and blankets to block the sand.
I gasp. "That's us," I whisper utterly shocked at what I am witnessing. I can see us in our throws of passion, a replay just like in the movies.
"We were so in love," Edward replies, walking closer to me and I swear I can almost feel his body heat. "I remember how you felt wrapped around me," he continues to say unbashful. "There are things you need to know, Isabella," he sighs softly as a hand grasps me own.
My whole body turns to look at Edward, taking a step to him and testing to see if I can touch him of my own free will. I can! I gasp as tears well up with happiness. Clutching his shirt, I yank him to me and wrap my arms tightly around his waist crying. He smells the same as well. I'm tightly held. Minutes pass as we pull away from on another but not allowing our hands to drop completely.
"I'm so sorry, love," tears are evident in his eyes. "I'm sorry for everything, if I could go back and change things I would."
"Why did you do this to me?" I cry with my hands balled up and pound on his chest. "Was I that undesirable and worthless that- "I'm cut off by his mouth covering mine in a hot steaming kiss. One that used to turn me on in a second flat but now has no effect on me except to make me feel longing.
"Never think that," he angrily tells me as he yanks away from my mouth. "I was stupid. I was reckless. Everything that has happened is because of me, not because of anything you did or didn't do. Nothing."
"Then why?!" I shout with rage building, needing to understand.
"Because I forgot how in love with you that I was," he pleads. The scenery changes again and we are in his office at work, his days and late nights running through before flipping to him coming home to collapse into bed not even bothering to touch me. "I took you for granted. Everything really. When Demetri made an appearance, I don't know exactly what happened, but it was like I was alive again."
I can't stomach to look at him as he finishes his sentence. All I hear is that I wasn't enough to keep him in one bed. In my bed. "So, while I worked my ass off and did my part, all the while waiting for you to come home every single night…" I cry even more angrily than before. I shake my head.
"I can't apologize enough," Edward tells me, wiping my tears that flow. "I wasn't seeing the damage that I was causing."
"Was what he told me the truth?" I ask backing away from him and sitting on our bed.
The pained look that shoots across Edwards face is enough confirmation. I lean over, placing my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands shaking my head. Suddenly the scenery changes and we are at a fancy restaurant sitting at a table watching some type of business meeting happening between Edward and Demetri Volturi. Whisky after whisky is poured and served to the two men and eventually the business part of the meeting is over, and it turns personal.
"Have you thought anymore about what we spoke about?" Demetri asks making my attention snap to him intently.
"I love my wife," Edward replies instantly shifting in his seat nervously.
"Of course you do," Demetri seemingly agrees. "You did marry the woman for a reason. I'm not questioning your feelings for her though. I'm questioning your feelings for me."
Demetri has a look in his eyes, something I've seen in myself while completely head over heels in love with Edward and now with Jasper. His feelings are true. Demetri really had felt something for Edward. But how could he do such a heinous crime against one he claimed to love? Suddenly we are in a hotel room and the two men are slowly undressing the other, Edward licking his lips nervously while Demetri is much surer in his actions.
"Do we have to watch this?" I ask in a pained voice as a lump forms in my throat.
"There's something you need to see," Edward regretfully informs me. "It's about to show and then it's done," he whispers wrapping his arms around my shoulders from behind my back to keep me in place.
"You're going to be so tight," Demetri whispers. "You're going to feel so good wrapped around my cock, baby," he smiles as he nibbles his shoulder blades.
"I've never- "Edward rasps out as Demetri reaches his hand around to caress him through his boxers causing Edward to moan softly lean into his embrace.
"I know, baby," Demetri whispers, walking around and gently pushing Edward on the bed after pulling his boxers down to reveal his member. "Let me take care of you," he crawls gently up to Edwards mouth, kissing him deeply and… lovingly. In turn Edward does the same, matching his passion…
"You loved him," I whisper, hurt clearly laced in my voice. This is what he wanted me to see.
"Very much," he replies, emotions running thick in his voice. "But then I finally realized what I was doing… too little too late," he scoffs.
The scene rushes by and once more we are in a hotel room except this time two others are inside the room along with my… with Edward and Demetri. They're yelling at Demetri about something and Demetri is protesting whatever it is before Edward grasps his forearm and murmurs something I can't hear. Demetri becomes more agitated all the while seeming to soften his eyes towards Edward. I swallow the lump in my throat.
"He's going to beat you up, isn't he?" I turn my head to look at the Edward showing me everything.
"Yes," he looks at me with a sad smile. "I lied to you of course. I lied about everything."
Out of the corner of my eye I can see Demetri raise his fist and punching the other Edward in the face making him stumble back a couple steps.
"When I broke it off with Demetri… it was like a breath of fresh air almost, except at the same time I was suffocating," Edward tries to explain. "I knew I had to do it though, because while I hadn't initially seen what I was doing to you, I eventually seen it. I tried to visit you at the coffee shop one day and…" I look at him as the scene changes around us. He motions for me to look in front of me making me gasp. I looked horrible! I had clearly lost weight and covered my dark circles under my eyes with some makeup.
"I waited up for you to come home the night before," I inform him. "I called several times and only got the voicemail. I had to be at work an hour and a half earlier for inventory and still went to my second job and stayed two hours over to help cover someone else's shift that night as well…"
"I had the audacity to be upset when you came home and didn't even come to see me in my office," Edward replies as he shows me what happens later on that night.
Edward had walked into the bedroom and woke me up abruptly, maybe fifteen minutes after I had crawled into bed shouting at me. We had fought for a half hour before we finally made love for the first time in over a month. Our argument long forgotten when we came together crying out the others name. Even now I can feel small butterflies erupt in my stomach but it's nothing compared to what I feel for Jasper.
"Why are you doing this?" I question suddenly. "Is this even real or is this just a dream I am conjuring up?"
"This is real, and it is happening inside your head as a dream," Edward tells me. We are back on the beach sitting in lounge chairs with the water rolling up to our ankles. "There is going to come a time when you will no longer need me. It's going to be sometime soon- I can feel it happening and when it does, I don't want you to be worried or sad or angry anymore. I don't want you to cry over me like you have been."
"But where are you going?" I ask in a clearly panicked voice. "I- I need you to stay!" Tears overflow all over again. Will I ever stop crying?
"Home, love," he smiles. "I'll be going home. You won't be able to hear me or see me anymore- but if you ever truly need me, you'll be able to feel my presence."
"Please," I shake my head.
His arms reach out to me. "Come here, love, let me hold you." I lunge into his arms. "I was nothing more than a fool to get involved with Demetri, love. I wish things were different but as it is, nothing can be changed. I have loved you from the moment I set my eyes on you in college. I forgot how much I loved you and I took you for granted. For now, I will be able to watch you grow old without me by your side which I forever regret. But if I could just show you one last thing?" I pull back away from his chest to see Jasper and I lounging in the living room of the Forks house giving one another gentle caresses and kisses. "As much as I would love for that to be you and I, you look so much happier and content with Jasper."
"Please," I beg. "Please don't leave me."
A/N: I think possibly a bit more for Edward before the story wraps up. Let me know what you think!
-bellacullen166
