A/N: In which Emily fights to get her way at the doctor's office (and Beca is supportive but also slightly embarrassed too); [nsfw]
"I really don't think those were necessary to bring," Beca muttered again. She was staring at her phone so she wouldn't look at the box in Emily's lap, its flaps open but the items inside hidden from view folded between a towel. She was still torn between embarrassment and amusement and didn't know which emotion would win over if she dared to look (in the car on the way it had been amusement, and she'd been unable to contain her nervous laughter at the fact that Emily was bringing those things out of the safety of their bedroom and into a doctor's office).
"They were completely necessary," Emily replied, not looking up from the box in her lap. "You'll see."
She was trying not to smile, still trying to be as serious as she could be about this. She'd joined in the laughing with Beca in the car, but as soon as they'd entered the doctor's office and she'd checked in, she'd put on a serious tone. She wouldn't even look at Beca; it would be too risky because one look could start them both laughing again, and she was set on being as serious as possible. She tapped her foot and hoped her appointment was next.
They weren't next, but finally she and Beca were called. Still carrying the box (and both of them still looking everywhere but at it), Emily and Beca followed a nurse into a small exam room.
"The doctor will be with you shortly, but please undress and change into this gown in the meantime," the nurse said, pointing to the blue folded gown on the exam table.
"Thanks," Emily said. She began to hand Beca the box, but paused and after a moment of debate, she put it on the exam table next to her.
"Don't want you laughing," she muttered, her back turned to her girlfriend.
"I understand," Beca replied, sitting in the plastic chair by the door and shielding her eyes with a hand as Emily undressed and redressed in the gown. (Again, neither of them wanted to risk breaking their serious tones; they weren't embarrassed about seeing each other undress in the slightest).
"Okay, dressed," Emily said after a few minutes. Beca uncovered her eyes and immediately bit her lip. It wasn't laughter threatening this time, but seeing her girlfriend in a gown with her legs slightly spread in the stirrups of the exam table was...well. A little more than slightly distracting.
"Don't," Emily said, allowing herself to smile a bit as she saw Beca blush as she gazed at her. "You're gonna make me break down."
Beca held her hands up, her ears still red. "I'm fine. You're just..." She didn't know how to finish her sentence, so she didn't.
Emily took a deep breath, clenching her teeth as she focused on getting serious again. "Okay, don't laugh, but I'm gonna get them out of the box to get ready, okay?"
Beca just nodded, she still didn't dare try to talk. She looked towards the room's window, just watching Emily in her peripheral vision.
Emily was careful about her task, as if it was as serious as diffusing a bomb. It didn't take her long to complete it, and soon she had both of her and Beca's toys laying on the towel they'd been wrapped in in the box on her lap.
"I still think they were totally unnecessary to bring," Beca muttered, shifting her eyes to the ceiling to completely avoid looking at Emily (or the toys) now.
"If these don't help me to convince the doctor that I don't want kids, I don't know what will," Emily replied, also looking everywhere else but at Beca (or the toys, despite being the one to hold them in her lap; she could tell without even looking which one was which by their differing weights, and had to admit that with them being this close to her with only a towel and thin gown between her and them was making it hard to not think about certain things that might get her off track of what she was trying to accomplish from being here, but she stayed strong and focused).
It felt like forever that they had to avoid eye contact and potentially doing anything that would make the other break her seriousness (at one point of the long silence, Emily nearly dropped one of the toys while innocently trying to shift her body to ease the slightly painful stretch her spread legs were causing her, and it had almost broken both of them), but finally a small knock on the door came and the doctor entered after a moment.
"Hello, Ms. Junk," the doctor greeted. She looked to the side where Beca was sitting in her chair, still avoiding meeting Emily's eyes. "And you're...?"
"Beca. Her girlfriend, here for emotional support," Beca replied. The doctor nodded.
"Okay, it's always nice to have a trusted friend for support for these kinds of things."
"No, like, girlfriend," Emily immediately piped up. "As in, we're dating."
"Ah, I see," the doctor said at the correction, but didn't say anything else about it.
She walked over to the sink, grabbing a pair of gloves and beginning to put them on. "So what are you here for today? Pap smear? Pelvic exam?"
"I want to get a referral to get my tubes tied," Emily said. Once the doctor had pulled her gloves on, she came over to the exam table with a sigh.
"I think you know where this is going," she said, pulling up an extra chair and sitting on it, directly between Emily's spread legs. "So...um, what are those?"
She had quickly noticed the toys in Emily's lap; this was Emily's opportunity to get ahead of the doctor.
"I do know where this is going, and I'm just gonna be straight up with you and lay out my case," Emily said. She'd been pumping herself up all morning and the last few days for this (and the girlfriend comment from the doctor had been her tipping point, she'd later realize after calming down from the adrenalin). "We have talked, extensively, about how we both do not, under any circumstances, want kids. We both have anxiety and depression and numerous other things that we wouldn't want to pass on to kids. We can't even take care of ourselves properly on some days, and that's not fair to anyone, ourselves included, but especially to a kid." She paused to bring out the big guns. "And, please don't laugh, because I really want to be serious about this, but these are what we use sometimes when we have sex. We use strap ons. Yes, I have this...thing where sometimes I get really into it and beg her to get me pregnant even though of course I know she can't and don't really want her to. I never, ever, actually want kids outside of whatever roleplay we may be doing. It's a joke, and we even made up a saying about it. 'No pregnant, only breed'. And it's true!"
Beca was scarlet, trying desperately to hide her face in her hands; one look at her from across the room would have caused Emily's passionate speech to end, but luckily she couldn't see Beca and could just continue with her speech.
"I don't want kids, she doesn't want kids, no I don't have a husband or ever plan on having one. Please don't ask me that, even though I know it's the norm. I'm gonna marry Beca, we're gonna keep using straps in the bedroom, being lesbians is our birth control. But I promise you, we don't want kids. Please, take me seriously, I'm begging you."
There was a pause, and in that time came another knock at the door. Another doctor entered.
"What's going on in here, is everything okay?" he asked, looking between Emily and the other doctor present.
"I'm pleading my case on not wanting kids to get my tubes tied," Emily continued, completely pumped up now. She held up the straps by their bases again, looking the doctor that had been there already dead in the eyes. "No pregnant, only breed."
The new doctor looked very confused at everything in the scene in front of him. "But what if your husband—"
Emily loudly groaned, looking away from the first doctor to the new one and shaking the straps at him, making them wobble. "I have a girlfriend! She's right there, and she wears these straps! I'm gonna marry her! We don't want kids, damn it! How much more clear can I be about this!?"
There was another pause, and the doctors looked between each other. Finally the first one shrugged. "I suppose if you're serious—"
"I am!" Emily interrupted, before sighing. "I'm sorry. I'm serious, she's serious—" She looked over the doctor's shoulder at Beca, who nodded quickly (her cheeks were still red), before looking back to the doctor. "Please. I'm completely serious about this."
The doctor nodded slowly. "I can feel your passion, and even though it goes against usual procedures, I'm going to go ahead and sign off on it for you."
Emily beamed. "Thank you. Oh my God, thank you! You don't know how much this means to me, to us."
She looked over her shoulder at Beca again, who gave her a thumbs up. The doctor still peeking in the door just quietly slipped out without another word. The doctor still present nodded.
"Um...okay, so I'm just going to go get the paperwork now." She stood up, leaving the room without another word. Emily felt like she was floating on air.
"I can't believe..." Beca shook her head with a shaky laugh. "Wow. But it worked."
"I told you the toys were necessary," Emily said. This time they both laughed, finally able to let it out after having to hold it in all morning.
"Okay, so you'll go here for the actual procedure," the doctor said, circling the hospital's address in blue ink (her signature was just below this, her confirmation that she'd signed off on the procedure). "You'll have to call and make an appointment, and do all the other paperwork and things there. Congratulations...I think."
"It's definitely a celebration," Emily said, still beaming. "Thank you again."
"You're welcome. Is there anything else I can do for you today?" she asked. Emily shook her head, and the nurse nodded. She unclipped the papers from her clipboard and handed them to Emily. "Have a good rest of your day."
She stood and waved to Beca, who gave a quick nod back. Once they were back alone in the room again, Beca finally stood up from her chair.
"You did great, Em. Your speech was really passionate. I only wanted to claim I don't know you and disappear through the floor during like, one part of it, but otherwise it was great."
"What part? Where I said about how I sometimes beg you to get me pregnant even though I know you can't?" Emily asked, smirking as she worked on redressing herself in her regular clothes. Beca blushed, but nodded.
"That, and the no— the thing we say," Beca replied.
Emily laughed. "Sorry, but I was on a roll."
"I know, and it was great," Beca said. She did have to admit that she sort of liked it when Emily begged her to do that while they were having sex, but this was no time or place to be thinking about it now. She shook her head to ward off the thoughts. "Um, are you ready to go? Don't forget the toys."
"Way ahead of you," Emily said, holding up the box where the toys had been safely tucked back inside. "Ugh, I feel like I have to wash them super well before we use them again. I know this place is clean and sterilized, but it feels dirty at the same time, you know?"
Beca nodded. "Doctor's offices are like that."
There wasn't much more said between them as they left the room and walked through the office (a few looks, sure; the other patients had probably heard Emily's passionate speech, Beca realized with slight horror).
"Well, good job again, Em," Beca said, once they were back in the safety of their car and on their way home.
"Thanks, Becs," Emily said. There was a beat. "So, uh...after I clean these, you wanna use one and make me beg you to get me pregnant?"
Beca didn't know how many times she'd gotten flustered that day, but this time was definitely worth it; despite the fact that they had spent the whole morning working towards making it so Emily would never actually be able to get pregnant, she wouldn't say no to her girlfriend's offer.
A/N: My girlfriend and I are two individuals who don't want kids (or even our periods tbh), so we're interested in trying to get our reproductive parts yeeted and joked about what might work, so this is a loosely based version of that conversation. Thanks for reading! c:
