Chapter 29
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"Harry, I think that using your magic like I did might have strengthened our connection. I wanted to argue with you about being fine when I can feel how magically drained you still are but I could also feel that you were telling me the truth that you really believe that it's okay. When I think back on casting those spells last night, I couldn't tell where my magic ended and yours began and I'm still not sure which of us decided what spell we were casting half the time. It all felt kind of automatic," Susan said quietly.
"I can't feel our connection at all," Harry admitted.
"What!" Susan yelled.
"I can't feel it, and I can't really feel my magic. I thought I might have given it to you permanently," Harry replied.
"And you still believe that you're okay?" Susan demanded.
"Voldie's dead, I never expected to survive killing him," Harry said gently.
Susan glared at him in horror then took off running down the stairs.
Harry closed his eyes in defeat. He knew it would hurt to lose her but he hoped it wouldn't be so soon and he hadn't known that it would totally break him. For a moment he regretted that Tonks and her mother had saved him.
-o0o-
"Harry says he can't feel his magic at all. He thinks he's given it to me permanently," she blurted, interrupting Amelia and Andromeda's conversation rudely.
Amelia immediately drew her wand and cast a spell revealing her niece's magical signature. "No there's no sign of his magic in your signature like the Unspeakables said there was during the battle," she reported.
Andromeda in the meantime had hurried up the stairs. She entered the room and waved her wand at the boy lying on the bed, casting diagnostic spells before nodding in satisfaction. "Your magic is still low but it's improving, you should make a full recovery," she said.
Susan rushed back across the room and hugged him. "It's okay Harry, you didn't give me your magic, we just used too much and it needs to replenish. The bond will come back once your magic is built up enough," she said.
"Do you regret it? Being connected to me?" Harry asked anxiously.
"No of course not Harry. I'd be dead right now if we weren't," Susan replied. "I think that we might have new things to worry about now, or it might go back the way it was at first when the sensations I got from you seemed almost more real than what my own body was feeling, so it might be much stronger once your magic builds back up enough to make the connection again. Hopefully it might fade away again, back to a controllable level like last time."
"I don't think that our connection got weaker than it was at first, we just learned to manage it better and that shouldn't have changed even if the connection itself has got stronger, which it doesn't feel to me like it has. We'll get used to it again and it will be okay," Harry tried to reassure her.
"I'm worried how much stronger it will be, and that we won't be able to manage the intrusions the way we did before," Susan said.
Listening to Susan use the word intrusion to talk about their connection hurt. Even though she said she didn't regret it because it had saved her life and her Aunt's life as well, but that didn't mean that his presence in her mind or the feelings she got from him were welcomed or she wanted them to continue.
"There's no way of knowing whether what we did the other night will have any permanent effect so I'm not going to worry about that unless it happens. Maybe our connection won't come back at all, I haven't felt you at all since the battle until you walked in the room, but I thought that was just because my magic wasn't strong enough to make a connection. I meant do you resent that our connection would make dating or marrying someone else almost impossible? Do you regret that you cannot accept one of the other betrothal offers. You'll probably get a heap more betrothal offers and wizards asking you for a date now," Harry asked.
"No Harry, when I think of what we did the night we unblocked our magic, I couldn't imagine doing that with anybody else. Or the things we do through our connection in the shower or in our beds at night. It just feels so right with you and I'm sure it would feel wrong with anyone else," Susan replied blushing profusely.
"But you wouldn't have chosen to date me or marry me if this hadn't happened," Harry said.
"Maybe not Harry but that's mostly because I didn't know you well enough to think about dating you and like most people I figured that you'd end up with Hermione. I thought you were way out of my league," Susan said reasonably. "I would want to marry you now even if what happened the other night had destroyed the magical connection between us."
"You know I've never seen Hermione like that, and she's never fancied me either. We get along better than she and Ron do but Hermione gets along better with most people than she does Ron, unless they're pureblood bigots," Harry said.
"Yes but I didn't know that about you and Hermione before we became connected like this. I think that most people think that she's been your girlfriend for years, even when she started crushing on Ron most people in Hufflepuff took it as the two of them bickering over you since no one can understand why she and Ron think that they fancy each other. She's very protective of you, and with what happened when you left Cho in the middle of a date to meet with Hermione," Susan said.
"No, it wasn't to meet Hermione, she'd organised for me to meet with Rita Skeeter. Hermione just had to be there because she's the one who had blackmail material on Skeeter to force her to write what I said. Besides I didn't just leave, I invited Cho to come with me," Harry replied.
"But you didn't explain it to Cho, and you let Hermione organise an appointment for the two of you in the middle of your date with Cho. Cho thought you'd made plans with Hermione," Susan replied.
"Skeeter picked the time not Hermione. Meeting Skeeter was important and I know that I should have tried harder to explain but to be honest I wasn't sorry to have to leave. Cho and I just didn't have anything to talk about and it was really awkward, I was worried Cho was going to want to talk about Cedric again and start crying and Madam Puddifoote's is a nightmare," Harry admitted.
Susan laughed. "First dates usually are," she agreed. "Remember how awkward we were in the room of requirement getting ready to unblock our magic?"
"That started out a hundred times worse than the date with Cho!" Harry exclaimed. "I didn't know how we were going to manage to have sex when we couldn't even look at each other fully dressed."
"I was never so embarrassed in my life. I just kept telling myself that having to explain the situation to someone else and ask him to have sex with me and not tell everybody about it would be so much worse and I couldn't think of any boy I trusted as much as you even if I didn't know you very well, so there wasn't anyone it would be easier with, I knew that you would act honourably," Susan said.
"I knew that I could trust you too. And I thought you were beautiful. I just really didn't know what I was doing and I was so afraid of hurting you," Harry said.
"You were very gentle and sweet, I couldn't imagine a better first time in that circumstance," Susan reassured him.
"Me either," Harry agreed blushing.
"Hopefully one of the changes in our connection makes it easier to communicate with each other without sounding like we're talking to ourselves," Susan said.
"Yes that would be useful, so long as you don't end up being able to hear everything that I'm thinking," Harry agreed.
"That would be embarrassing," Susan said shuddering as she recalled dozens of thoughts she'd had over the last week that she wouldn't have wanted Harry to hear for various reasons.
"It'd be worse than embarrassing. I don't think that any relationship could survive the couple being able to hear everything the other person thinks. Some thoughts are just not for sharing," Harry said.
Susan was immediately curious what thoughts he was talking about but considering some of the thoughts she didn't want to share with Harry she knew she couldn't ask him and probably would regret it if he told her.
Not to mention that it would make the confidentiality oaths required of an Auror, lawyer, healer or probably half a dozen other professions impossible to make," she agreed. "I couldn't even keep my friends' secrets."
"I doubt we'd have many friends if people knew that we were kind of therein each other's heads all the time, and nothing they said to one of us could ever be private," Harry said.
"We have enough problems guaranteeing that we don't accidentally hear a secret we aren't meant to while we're checking in on the other as it is. I don't think we need to worry about that, our true friends will support us like Neville does, even if they are a little uncomfortable with the connection at times. What I am worried about more is people wanting to research our connection if it becomes known, and the fact that seeing and hearing what was going on in two different places all the time would drive us both mad, it would be impossible to get things done with the constant distraction," Susan suggested. "Though I also think that we should share a bit more about it with Madam Pomfrey, McGonagall and Professor Sprout. I wouldn't want to have accidentally formed a connection like this with anyone else so next time they have more than one person who needs their magic unblocked they should warn them why they shouldn't do it together."
"Yes, I'm very glad it was you," Harry agreed.
"Do you think it would make a difference to the connection if it were someone else?" Susan asked.
"It's impossible to say for sure but being connected to someone I disliked or I couldn't trust would be horrible," Harry said.
"You once said that our connection is why you trusted me. Don't you think that the connection would make you able to trust them?" Susan asked.
"Would being bonded to MacMillan like this improve your relationship?" Harry asked. "My connection with you showed me I could trust you because I could feel that you weren't trying to lie to me or manipulate me or anyone else around you. I admit that I was glad of the confirmation that you believed you were acting in my best interests but I didn't truly doubt it, any more than I would question that Hermione is acting in my best interests even when I don't like or agree with her actions."
Susan shuddered. "Point taken, maybe I'd be more understanding if I knew a bit more about why he acts like he does, I still wouldn't like it, though perhaps he'd try to be better if he could feel how genuinely frustrated I am with him so much of the time, or maybe he'd still feel that way inside no matter how he changed his behaviour and I'd feel him trying to hide it and know I couldn't trust him," she said. "I'm glad I didn't have to find out though. Thank heavens I had you. I wouldn't want this bond with any of the other boys I am friends with either."
"I think that he fact we weren't close friends and that you weren't a huge boy-who-lived fan probably helped. We didn't have too many preconceived notions of what the other should be like and we could get to know each other almost from scratch, without being hurt by our own misconceptions or influenced by the opinions of others because nobody but Neville knew we were friends and he isn't the interfering sort," Harry suggested.
"He's a good friend to both of us, but I was surprised how much more open you are with him than with Ron and Hermione," Susan agreed. "Though I think, Hermione would be the interfering sort."
"She didn't used to be like this. In past years the only thing she'd get upset about was if I hadn't done my homework. I think that the trouble she's having with her magic is making her fuss because she doesn't think that she can keep me safe if I have to save the school again," Harry tried to explain.
"She's always been bossy and needed to know everything," Susan said.
"Hmm. So What happened at the end of the battle last night? I sort of lost consciousness as soon as I was sure that the threat was over," Harry said, changing the subject.
"I was a bit out of it myself but a lot of Aurors came and cleared the house and grounds and took a million pictures and cast diagnostic spells to work out exactly what had happened before they took the bodies away. I think they arrived just after we killed Voldemort but I was a bit out of it so it might have been a while after. Auntie said that there were Unspeakables there as well to confirm Voldemort's identity and they cast a heap of spells to tell them how he'd resurrected himself and how he died to confirm that he's really truly dead this time. Kingsley told Auntie that you'd sent him, though he was asking how you would have known we were in trouble. I think I told him about you using all your magic to help me or me using your magic or something but I know that I insisted that he send someone to check on you because if I needed a healer, you probably did too. Then the pink headed Auror came and told Kingsley that you were magically exhausted though she couldn't understand how when she'd been at the Dursleys and you hadn't used any magic. She said her mum had taken you home with her to look after but then Kingsley sent her to watch you again because she was Bellatrix' sister or something.
"Bellatrix Lestrange and Lucius Malfoy's wife, Narcissa are both Andromeda's younger sisters. Don't worry, she's nothing like them, she hasn't spoken to either of them since she was disowned for marrying a muggleborn twenty five years ago," Harry explained. "And you must have told Kingsley about our connection because he came to ask me about it yesterday."
"I guess that makes sense, I was a bit out of it after the battle, I couldn't be sure what people were saying and whether it made sense or not," Susan replied.
"Have they announced that you killed Voldemort, Dumbledore must have had a conniption when he heard that the prophecy wasn't about me and Voldemort," Harry said laughing.
"It was still your magic so I think that we did fulfill the prophecy. I just never thought that our connection could possibly be 'the power he knows not'," Susan said.
"Neither did I, but I guess it kind of makes sense. Our connection may have been caused by us unblocking our magic together but it grew to be what it is because we trusted each other with our magic, and he couldn't have known about it because we hadn't told anyone. Voldemort hasn't trusted anyone in his whole life, even his followers he's branded with magic to prevent them from being able to leave. I doubt that he knows how to trust, and he certainly didn't know he was facing both of us last night," Harry replied.
"So the prophecy has been fulfilled," Susan said.
Harry hesitated, "I hope so but I'm not sure if it has. Dumbledore was sure that the reason why he didn't die when the killing curse rebounded on him when I was a baby was because he had horcruxes anchoring his soul. Dumbledore and I have both destroyed one but Dumbledore thought that there might be as many as four or five more which means that he could come back again. Probably more quickly than he did last time because this time his Death Eaters know he was immortal and if I was him I would've learned from my mistakes and made sure a few of them knew how to resurrect me if I needed them to again, so I didn't have to spend another thirteen years roaming around as a wraith trying to possess people to get a message to someone I could trust in my weakened state," Harry said.
Amelia had entered the room as he mentioned Voldemort setting up his return. "We cannot discount the possibility but there honestly aren't many wizards to whom he would admit to being vulnerable enough to need a resurrection back up plan. And I think you and Susan killed at least two of them last night."
"Are you absolutely sure that he was dead? And that he really was Voldemort? Dumbledore believed that we needed to destroy the horcruxes before we tried to kill him," Harry said.
Amelia frowned. "The unspeakables declared him to be Tom Marvolo Riddle and his magical signature matched his signature from the battle at the ministry in June last year. I'm glad that he was wrong. Now we have time to hunt the horcruxes without having to battle the Death Eaters and mop up after their attacks," she said.
"I still think you need to try to arrest as many of his followers as possible and find out about any you don't know of too because I don't think that Voldemort would've trusted Bellatrix or Malfoy with his next resurrection. Bellatrix is too insane, he couldn't have predicted how she'd react to his death and Malfoy is too fond of power of his own to be trusted that much, I don't know about the others he had with him that night. Nobody talks about Rodolphus and Rastaban LeStrange unless it's to mention that they're Death Eaters and Bellatrix's husband and brother-in-law, as if they had no personality or existence of their own, but they were inner circle Death Eaters so they had to have been more than Bellatrix's hangers on," Harry suggested.
"Who do you think he would trust?" Amelia asked curiously, what he'd said about Bellatrix and Lucius made sense though she hadn't thought of it that way.
"Someone who he believed would benefit from him being resurrected again, not just today but if he was killed ten years from now. Someone without a lot of power in their everyday life, a born follower, not a natural leader in their own right," Harry said thoughtfully. "Not someone like Malfoy with money and power and a comfortable life who's actually better off with him dead. He really didn't gain anything from this resurrection of Voldemort except for the fun of going on raids but he's probably outgrown the thrill, and he could have got together a group of friends to go raiding if he'd really wanted to. I'd say someone who is a real true believer like Barty Crouch Junior but we know it can't be him next time. Or someone like Pettigrew who has no other options than to resurrect Voldemort so old Voldie will look after him, make decisions for him, give him a somewhat safe place to live and work to do, but there wouldn't be many followers that weak that Moldyshorts would trust."
"Yes that makes sense. But I would say that it's also likely to be someone we may not suspect is a Death Eater, who doesn't participate in raids. Voldemort would want to be sure this wizard would remain free to perform the resurrection ritual," Susan said.
"Probably someone that only a his most trusted followers knew about so he wouldn't be betrayed like Crouch Jr gave up the names he knew, and who didn't know how insane Moldyshorts was," Harry added.
"How did you know about that?" Amelia asked.
"I saw his trial in Dumbledore's Pensieve, I didn't know what it was at the time but I saw it glowing and got too curious," Harry replied sheepishly.
Amelia nodded amused, correctly interpreting from his body language that Harry hadn't had permission to watch the trial.
"I think both those points of view have merit. I sent Aurors to arrest Severus Snape this afternoon. He isn't a pure blood so with the proof that he invented a spell that was exclusively used by the Death Eaters until last night we can pour Veritaserum down his vicious little throat until it runs out his ears and he's named every fellow Death Eater he knows," Amelia said with satisfaction.
Harry grinned at the thought of Snape being arrested and potions used against him.
"If it's someone recruited since his resurrection, then it's possible, perhaps even likely that Snape won't know that they're a Death Eater. Voldemort would have to be mad to have trusted him again after Dumbledore announced that he was spying for him, in front of the entire Wizengamot, Voldemort had supporters there who would have told him about it," Harry said.
Amelia sighed. "That's true, I'd forgotten about that. Merlin it's a wonder You-Know-Who didn't kill him."
"Voldemort must have had a use for him. I wonder how many conversations he staged for Snape to overhear and report on," Susan suggested.
"I wondered how so many Death Eaters got away with claiming they were under the imperius curse last time. Voldemort's imperius spell wasn't strong enough to have controlled that many wizards for that long. Let alone to be still controlling them after he'd been disembodied for thirteen years," Harry said.
"We need to get the law changed to allow us to question all witches and wizards with a dark mark under veritaserum," Amelia agreed.
"You know they could be telling the truth about being under the imperius," Harry said as a thought struck him.
"You're not serious?" Amelia said appalled. "You just told me it was impossible."
"I'm not suggesting that he was controlling them the whole time or that they didn't commit most if not all their crimes of their own volition, but if I worded it carefully I could testify under oath that I'd been under the imperius curse by Voldemort and one of his Death Eaters, and every other student who took DADA from the imposter impersonating Mad-Eye Moody in our year and at least the three years above us can claim to have been imperiused by a Death Eater. He only had to cast it on his followers for a moment or two and make them clap their hands or something simple to provide them that alibi. I always thought that Malfoy and the likes bribed their way out of a conviction but maybe whoever questioned them was so shocked when they were able to vow they had been under the imperius by Voldemort that they didn't ask enough follow up questions to find out if it happened voluntarily or how many of their crimes were committed under the imperious or if they were of their own free will," Harry explained.
"Some of them might have genuinely been under the imperius," Susan suggested.
"No, I don't think so. Voldemort is too arrogant to want unwilling followers and his imperius curse wasn't actually any stronger than Barty Crouch Junior's, I don't see how he could have controlled dozens of people for years. Or I don't see how he could trust that they'd stay imperiused and not break through it or be caught, and you can see when someone's under the imperius. Someone would have noticed if they were under it for years," Harry replied.
Amelia looked at him in shock though Harry wasn't sure if it was his alibi idea or if Susan hadn't told her aunt about Professor Moody casting the imperius on all of them, supposedly to teach them to recognise it and fight it. "I'll be sure to be careful how questions about the imperius are worded," she murmured. "If you have anymore ideas like that, please share them with me, and please seriously consider becoming an Auror, we could use more wizards who can think outside the obvious like that."
"I did consider being an Auror but I don't think it's a good idea with the connection I have with Susan. I know she wants to be an auror and we can't both be in dangerous jobs because we'd end up distracting each other at a crucial moment, and I'm not sure I trust the ministry enough to work for them after what they tried to do to me in fifth year, and the way things have gone at school this year with them making a mountain out of a molehill investigating minor attacks on Malfoy when nobody ever did anything when it's him instigating the attack." Harry replied.
Amelia saw Susan nod as if she'd already known this and accepted it.
"It's time to go. You need more rest and I need to get back to work," Amelia said.
"Can I have five minutes to say goodbye to Harry in private?" Susan asked.
"Five minutes and no more, and the door stays open," Amelia replied.
Susan waited until she heard her aunt descend the stairs then cuddled up against Harry's chest. "As I was saying before we got sidetracked by horcruxes and the potential for his resurrection, Voldemort is dead and the ministry is all running around like headless chickens. It's safe for us to date now, and it might be the perfect time to formalize our betrothal. While the ministry and the newspapers are all so busy and have so much other news," Susan suggested looking in his eyes to see his reaction.
"It's not going to slip under the radar, they might be too busy to worry about what I'm up to but everything you do will be news once someone leaks what happened the other night," Harry warned her.
"I don't think that you're going to be off the hook like that," Susan said laughing. "In fact, if we announce our betrothal they'll start to question whether you were there that night."
"One thing for sure, announcing a betrothal to me won't make you more of a target now than you are already once word gets out that you killed Voldemort. But I think it's wishful thinking to hope that the ministry clerks will be too busy or inundated with Voldemort's death and rounding up the remaining Death Eaters not to publish our betrothal. After all you're probably more famous than me today, or you will be tomorrow, when one of the Aurors leaks the information that you killed Voldemort. Our betrothal will probably make the front page of every wizarding newspaper in Britain and Ireland. I bet you'll even get a stupid hyphenated name. 'The-girl-who-conquered' or 'The-saviour-of-the-world' or 'The-smoking-hot-witch-who-defeated-he-who-must-not-be-named'," Harry replied jokingly.
Susan laughed and Harry joined her laughter. Susan could see surprise in his eyes and happiness and anxiety through their bond she leaned up and kissed him lightly.
"So do you want me to roll the contracts together to finalize our betrothal?" Susan asked trying to sound optimistic.
"Do you still want to?" Harry asked carefully, aware of the slightly false tone in her voice but not able to sense what she was feeling with the bond suppressed by the lack of access to his magic.
"I do, there's no point in waiting if we both know we're more than compatible and it's what we both want," Susan said trying to sound confident.
"Yes. How about you collect them from Gringotts and bring it here so we can both do it together. I'd like that," Harry suggested. Kissing her back chastely.
Susan liked the idea of being with Harry as they became betrothed but she wondered for a moment whether he suggested it to delay their betrothal and give him time to think of a reason not to do it.
"I'll try to convince Auntie to take me to Gringotts and to let me come back and visit tomorrow, but she's very busy sorting things out so it might be the day after," Susan said.
"Contact me first because I'm not sure where I'll be. I think that I'm only staying here while I need a healer because Tonks, Auror Tonks I mean, wouldn't let Healer Mrs Tonks take me to St Mungo's and she wasn't willing to leave me home with muggles who had no way to contact her if I got worse and needed her, and probably wouldn't have tried and she was worried about the wards there using the last of my magic and making things worse. They have no reason to keep me once I'm well enough to be up and about but I think Auror Tonks talked her into letting me stay tonight at least because she knows what the Dursleys are like. I won't be able to rest there," Harry said.
"Do you think you'll have to go back to the Dursleys?" Susan asked.
"No. I don't care what Dumbledore or anybody else has to say. I'm not going back there. I'll find somewhere else to stay," Harry said. "I'll get an aging potion from the apothecary and check into a muggle hotel or rent holiday cabin somewhere if I have to. I'm sure I've got the money if I don't choose a fancy one. Perhaps I can find a hotel near where you live, and we could go on some dates to the local pictures or restaurants."
"I'll ask Auntie if you can stay with us once we return home," Susan offered. "Once she knows were betrothed she will want to get to know you anyway."
"Thanks Susan," Harry said smiling at his soon to be betrothed.
"Where will you go if she says no? Will Hermione let you stay with her?" Susan asked. She didn't want Harry to be at the Weasleys when Ginny found out about their betrothal. She wasn't jealous but she worried it would probably damage his relationship with the whole family if they were able to yell at him before they had the opportunity to calm down and think things through.
"Hermione usually spends the summer travelling with her parents before going to the Burrow. She's never even invited me to her place for the day, let alone to stay. Neville invited me to visit, I've never been there either but I'd like to spend more time with him," Harry replied.
"That's good, but did Lady Longbottom agree?" Susan asked.
"Honestly, I don't think he asked her. Neville will be the head of house Longbottom at the end of July and he thought that it was high time he started making decisions for himself," Harry replied smirking.
"I hope he tells her before you arrive, the fireworks are going to be pretty spectacular otherwise," Susan commented.
"I think she will be so pleased that the LeStranges are dead and her son and daughter-in-law have finally been avenged, that she won't be as strict as she was," Harry said.
"Susan," Amelia called impatiently from the bottom of the stairs.
Susan kissed Harry again and reluctantly pulled herself out of his arms. "I'll connect with you when I'm alone," she said.
"I've been avoiding trying to connect in case it uses up what little magic I have available. I don't want to spend any more days lying in bed than I have to, I don't want you to exhaust yourself," Harry said uncertainly.
"Tomorrow then," Susan comprised.
"Bye Susan. Talk to you tomorrow when we wake up," Harry agreed smiling.
A/N: Thank you to all those who reviewed followed or favourited this story for your support.
