Apparently, there's a rumor going around that our lovely fanfiction site is shutting down! Hopefully it proves to be just another rumor, but in the event things do go south, I'd like you all to be aware that I am equally active on AO3 with all the work I care to save copied there. Enough depression, though, it's time to read!
Out of all his adventures and all the places he'd been, there was one place that Dib was sure he'd never get tired of: space. There was something incredibly cathartic about plowing through your own atmosphere, pushing toward something very few people got to experience in their lives. Humbling, even...tearing away from the perfectly preserved bubble of safety and life into an unforgiving vacuum that truly held mercy for none.
Dib did his best not to completely plaster himself against the glass of the ship. It had been so long since he'd had the opportunity to be out here...he hadn't even completely fixed his- er, Tak's ship. After the hit it took from his descent back to earth during the whole "Florpus" incident, it was even more damaged than when he'd found it the first time.
"Alright, rules," Tak sighed, whirling around in her seat to face him, "Number 1: you will keep your dirty human mitts to yourself. 2: do not wander off because I won't look for you if you get lost," she ignored the pointed look he gave her, "And 3: do not, under any circumstances, speak to or make eye contact with the employees in yellow."
"O...kay. Why?" Dib asked, quirking a brow.
"They're soliciting droids. We're headed to one of the largest utility planets on this side of the galaxy; inferior suppliers send out their bots to increase traffic to their businesses."
"So, they're like door salesmen."
Tak rolled her eyes, "Right parasites are what they are. They're rigged to be incredibly sensitive to outside stimuli. Your acknowledgement acts as a contract and once they have it, you're obligated to buy their cheap merchandise."
The teen blanched, "That can't be legal!"
"It can and it is. What part of "rigged" do you not get? It falls under consumer error and subsequent onus. They're intentionally noticeable and they will bait you, but it's still your fault if you're dumb enough fall for it."
Dib fell back in his seat, "If the risks are that high, why didn't we just stay on Earth? We have hardware stores too, you know."
Tak let out a harsh laugh, spinning back to the console, "Your people haven't managed to set foot beyond your own moon and you think you can provide the necessary components to take on a galactic superpower? I may just have to take back what I said about you being smart."
"I blame the lack of funding to NASA Place, really...and cut me some slack, it's not like I have the same knowledge you guys do. All I ever get is 'oooh, planet big, lizard people scary!'" Dib exclaimed, wiggling his fingers mockingly.
"You need more than that?"
"Well, if the goal is to not fail and/or die, then..." he trailed off, eyeing the alien expectantly.
The Irken said nothing, having gone still in her seat as she contemplated giving him what she knew. She didn't know exactly how useful the humans could be in this equation. Zim had an strangely high amount of trust in their capabilities, but how much was that really worth? Whether they lived long enough to escape with the plans was only half the worry, Irk would still see war. Both races shared the same goal of universal domination and, call it programmed loyalty, but she preferred the cruelty of one far greater than the other. With a ragged sigh, Tak flung the ship into autopilot.
"I don't have all the little details," she began, "but it's government stands as an absolute monarchy, been that way since before the Empire. The planet itself is plentiful and its people are well-off, but...there's rot in its bones. Crime is fairly rare, though it may simply be because no one lives long enough to commit the second offense. Culling the herd of its undesirables, so to speak. Its military is constantly evolving, leveling with Irk only a short time before surpassing it in the span of mere centuries."
Dib hummed, contemplative, "That implies they were weaker than you at some point. History is my weakest subject, but depending on when The Armada starting conquering, why not just invade it? Why wait until they were a threat?"
"I can't attest to how much is actually true since, you know, history is written by the winners, but there had been plans to conquer it," she paused, hesitant, "It was meant to be treated similarly to Vort, wherein we gain their trust as allies before sweeping it out from underneath them, but...it didn't happen that way. The invasion failed and our forces were almost completely wiped out. Irk surrendered just before Noxan forces could make landfall to finish the job on the rest of our civilization. A treaty was signed, millennia pass, Irk militarized and stopped separating civilians from soldiers-"
"The treaty gets broken and we're back to square one," Dib adds.
"Worse," Tak snorts, "the treaty was reinstated by Tallest Miyuki with the catch of a union between the planets, but apparently not even that is enough anymore."
Dib hummed in agreement and the cabin fell quiet for just a brief moment before Tak spoke again.
"Why do you need me to tell you any of this anyway?" she blurted out, face tightening in annoyance, "I assumed Zim would be running his mouth nonstop about his acts of bravery against the regime."
"Y'know, I almost wish he would," he chuckled humorlessly, "He hasn't really talked about any of it, to be honest. First it was just radio silence, now it's all about what we have to do and what's going to happen, but what about what's already happened?"
He paused, thoughts running, and Tak watched him patiently.
"It's farther down on the priority list, I know, but damn! We're here, we're still working, but he acts almost like he did when we were in middle school. Like when we first started actually trying to be friends, but hadn't started putting in the effort yet."
Tak shrugged as she listened, "He's the worst, what do you expect?"
"No, he's not, he's just dumb and stubborn and has trauma dialed up to 10."
"Pathetic," she replied offhandedly, picking at the fabric of her gloves.
"Rude."
"Meaningless coming from you," she snapped back, eyeing him seriously, "Real Irkens don't get 'traumatized'. We see bloodshed within our first 10 years and battle by 15! We're designed to face danger and do what lesser lifeforms are too soft for. Our Paks guard our bodies and our inhibitors guard our minds, it's how we function, save for the broken code of unreliable defects. If he'd been built correctly, he wouldn't have such faults. "
"It was apparently good enough for Miyuki."
Tak rolled her eyes, stating, "Being a Tallest does not an engineer make and your friend is a perfect example of why smeet production is best left to the experts. One decision made on a whim and she poisons the water with one drop!"
"I don't know, maybe she was just ahead of the game. Saw something more in life than winning and ownership...something similar to how Irkens were before they turned all cold."
"Early Irkens were weak," she hissed back, leaning closer, "Stupid and dying in droves because they wanted to colonize without the numbers to support it. Nearly extinct because there just aren't enough smeets being born in order to make up for the ones dying, but hey, let's go pick a few more fights anyway! Irk turning 'cold' saved us. Harnessing the very nature that cursed our species and bending it to force us to thrive saved us. You humans are working steadily enough to exterminate yourselves, but we will only continue to grow. If seeing 'more in life' gets you as far as Tallest Miyuki got, then it seems we made the right choice in spurning it!"
Just then, a dial on the console starts blinking, a soft beeping sound filling the air.
"We're here," the alien said, whirling back around and preparing to land, "Remember: eyes down, mouth shut, hands close."
Dib stayed silent, reeling from the verbal onslaught he'd just been dealt. As ashamed as he was to admit it, being the expert in paranormal studies as he was, he knew almost nothing about Irken culture outside of what it had become. Years ago, when he'd began studying Zim as opposed to trying to autopsy him, he'd discovered that the alien knew very little. The basics were there: social hierarchy, some sporadic history that may or may not just be ego-stroking tales, their strange biology that he could only make sense of by making the flimsy comparison to sea horses...which Zim had hated, of course. It dropped off after that, as if someone had simply erased everything that came before the dawn of their technological advancements. He didn't know whether or not to be surprised by the apparent fact that Irkens seemed to be inherently invasive. Without the help of genetic engineering or a Pak, who knew what their true capabilities had been?
As the pair made their way outside, Dib's senses are bombarded with stimuli; roaring chatter from the dense crowd, bangs and whirrs of heavy machinery, the hum from the streams of vehicles flying overhead. The air was thick and warm, various fumes and steam tickling the back of his throat and he fought off a coughing fit on their way to the nearest entrance.
"Wait," Tak said curtly, stopping at a small podium that sat before the threshold. Waving her hand across the sensor, the screen lit up in a language he didn't recognize. After punching in a few things on the keypad, a thin, elongated platform slid out. The screen flashed an image of instructions and, after glancing at Tak questioningly, he slotted his thumb firmly against the indentation. Nothing happened for a moment, until-
"Ouch!" the teen yelped, wrenching his arm back. Inspecting the digit, he noted the fresh puncture in the pad, blood welling up from the wound.
More symbols ran across the screen and the machine rattled to life, grinding and groaning as it worked. A few more breathes and a crisp *ding* later had Tak nudging him out of the way. Another platform rolled out, this time offering a bulky face mask and a small disk. Plucking the items from the container, she wasted no time in pushing the mask to his face. It beared down on his flesh as it pressurized and suddenly he couldn't breathe, the device becoming airtight in an instant. Instinctual panic sparked in his stomach, hands flying up, but the Irken was quicker, slipping the disk into the mask's slot. Suddenly, the atmosphere that had been weighing so heavily on him turned light, fresh despite the smog.
"Holy-!" he gasped, fingers feelings around his face as he sucked in a few more breaths.
"Your wheezing was annoying," she stated bluntly, walking away.
"Wow," he breathed, awestruck, "It's so clean, it feels almost illegal...wait, it's not going to give me CO poisoning or paralyze me later in life, is it?"
Tak turned back incredulously, "Of course not! The machine calibrated a breathable formula based on the components it detected in your blood and comprised it into a purifier to mimic your atmosphere. The air here is basically poison."
She smirked a little at his mortified expression, leaving him glued to his spot as she moved inside and didn't bother to check if he was still tailing her.
"Now," Tak began, violet eyes scanning over the flood of people, "We're here for only a few things, I'm sending you to get the least vital ones. When you're finished, switch to channel 8 on your communicator and meet me in this exact spot. Don't break anything or you'll be explaining to staff the intricacies of Earth currency and why they don't accept it here."
"I'm not that clumsy, everything here is probably- I'm sorry, does this say cold fusion battery?" the teen bawked, staring at the scrap paper she'd handed him.
"Yes, they've been on the market for decades now, big with environmentalists. Find a kiosk, grab a map, and try not to make a scene. I'm walking away now."
"Great...great! I guess I'll just...get started. Hey! What's the budgeee- and she's gone..."
The next hour saw Dib roaming aimlessly through the vast expanse of shelves. Naturally, the map of the building didn't come with English translation. Thankfully, he knew enough Irken to be somewhat functional...if he got lost, there was no way he'd get out and he wasn't exactly eager to call Tak's threat not to look for him a bluff. He thought that the City Center Mall was huge, but this place looked like it had its own area code! He got a few rather uncomfortable flashbacks to the parking garage incident years back as he weaved through through the crowd.
Zipping this way and that through each isle, he was becoming increasingly frazzled by the disorganization of the place. Any offense he'd felt earlier at being given the smaller half of the list was replaced with gratitude. He tapped again at the screen, happy with the fact that he only had one item left to find.
New keyword, no results.
Category search, nada.
Help Center, You Thought We Had One of Those?
Dib bit at the inside of his cheek. He tried a couple different inputs when he suddenly noticed a set of options at the corner. His gold eyes scanned over the information, but his innocent curiosity took a nosedive into regret when he finally realized what he was looking at.
"Four stories?! District 3?! Of 586?!", he exclaimed, uncaring of the looks he got.
Scratch it, this is exactly like the parking garage, he thought. Running through the denial stage of his grief, he cast his eyes upward; the towering isles faded out into the sky, disappearing behind a white haze of thick clouds...or they would be if it wasn't simply smog resting against the ceiling leading to the second floor. Searching through the database of the other stories, he finally spotted both matches on the very top floor. Laughing manically, he looked all around him before laying eyes on the closest lift station. Seeing his approach, one of the patrons kindly held the entrance open. Dib stopped, taking note of how profoundly cramped the space was, with the occupants pressed tightly against one another and some smaller ones even resting on top of the pile. Adjusting his glasses, he gave a nervous smile and waved, hoping to signal that he would wait for the next. Luckily, the universe hated him and he received a nod in return before being grabbed and smushed into the mass of aliens.
He stayed tense, doing his best to keep in his own space and not acknowledge the staleness in the air or the unknown substance suddenly dripping onto his head, oh god, what is that?!
*ding*
As soon as they came to a stop, Dib surged forward, pushing passed the doors before they'd even finished opening. Thankfully, the fourth floor was much less congested, in both population and atmosphere. His map beeped, signifying he was close to his target. One last turn of the corner and...
"Yes!" he shouted, eyes sparkling as he finally made contact with with the battery. He was granted a moment of happiness until his gaze fell up on another in a different colored package, then another, then...another. The options expanded down the rest of the isle, running further than his vision could see.
"This has got to be some sorta sick joke."
Bobbing on his feet, he snatched up his radio and pressed the call button.
"Tak!"
*Chssh* "Are you done?"
"Umm, no. I have a tiny problem over here..." he said, cringing.
"I've got my own problems," Tak growled in to mic before turning back to the clerk in front of her, "Do you want it backtracked all the way to manufacturing?!"
The radio pinged again as the human responded, but she ended up only half listening, more focused on throwing the other woman a handful of gestures and she pushed her items forward for the millionth time. Her opponent gave her a dull look.
"It's for security purposes, ma'am, we don't see this sort of currency often."
"Since when did this place start caring about security, it's crawling with felons and wanteds! Including yourself, I should add," Tak lowered her voice to a whisper, her mouth working into a smile as the worker's face became one of shock.
"It's a shame, I missed the bounty window by this much...the reward for your head really would have had me set for a while."
The girl sputtered, hands fiddling nervously at the Irken looking at her with all the fake sweetness in the world, "Wha- what do you want from me?"
"You already know what I want," she replied, hand sweeping the items forward once again, "I'll have you know I work under a very influential client who's expecting these items as we speak. I'd hate to return empty handed, and I doubt he'd be delighted to hear someone thought his money was no good...one slip of the tongue is all it would take to disintegrate your already threadbare societal position and all that implies."
She held a positively searing glare, leaning in threateningly, "Do we have an understanding yet?"
The cashier shied away with a frantic nod, immediately working to push the items through. Satisfied, Tak turned back to the radio with a scowl.
"And you," she spoke, "The type doesn't matter, it's just branding! If it doesn't explode with a J5 compartment and is capable of processing at least 80KV, grab it and get down here. Hub 4."
*Chssh* "Right, right, I got it...hey, that was pretty cool how you- oof! Sorry- *gasp*"
Tak made a confused face as a series of strange noises began pouring out from over the communicator.
1...2...3...4...
*Chssh* "Hey, uh, Tak? What was all that you were saying about those droids before?"
Choosing not to mention how weirdly winded the human sounded, Tak rolled her eyes and said, "Avoid them. It shouldn't be hard, they're all painted bright yellow."
*Chssh* "And...do you know if they ever stop chasing you?"
"I told you before that they're made to be relentless, only an idiot would-" she stopped, his words finally catching up to her, "...you didn't."
*Chssh* "...it was an accident."
"Dib!" she shouted, pinching the space between her eyes, "Alright, listen to me; if there's a crowd nearby, run through it and meet me by the entrance. You won't lose it, but it'll buy you some time. Did you finish the list I gave you?"
*Chssh* "Yeah, but-"
"Good, hurry up!" The Irken frowned, switching the channels on her device, "Mimi, get the ship ready for immediate take-off."
Dib groaned as she hung up on him, putting the device away and doing his best not to focus on the very short distance he was outpacing by...oh lord, how many were there now? The human all but dove through whatever crowd he could see, offering pitiful apologies as the poor suckers were run down by the pack of corporate husks tailing him. He managed to shoot through the closing door of the nearest departing lift, one of the robots entering right behind before the doors shut and all the rest were left to slam into them. Breathing hard, Dib paid no mind to the elevator's other occupants, standing stock still next to the droid that was currently boring its gaze through him.
*Chssh* "Yo, Dib, are you alive?"
Oh thank god, Dib thought as he batted away its a reaching hand, "I said no thanks! Gaz! Glad to see you got out of the house, over."
*Chssh* "I'm not doing that, and I'm..."
With a *ding* he was finally on ground level, Gaz's words nearly drowned out by the roaring in his ears. Falling into another sprint, he nearly cried upon finally laying eyes on Tak, vowing to never take her beautifully furious face for granted ever again. Coming to a stop in front of her, she gave a strange look to the android that had managed to keep up with him.
"...a butt or something."
Tak gestured angrily at him, making him shrug sheepishly, "Didn't you get my note- sorry!" he squeaked to her before the droid rolled out in front of him.
"FOR EVERY 7 MILLION CREDIT PURCHASE-"
"What? No!"
*Chssh* "Everything...okay up there?"
He chuckled nervously, "Yeah, yeah- quit it! I-"
Before he could finish, a deafening boom rang out from behind them and the overhead lights morphed into a deep crimson. Plumes of smoke filled the air from the now destroyed lift as several robots began racing toward them. Alarm bells echoed all around them and Tak's eyes widened as heavy metal gates began blocking off each exit.
"Human! I told you not to make a scene!" she screeched, flinging an arm in the direction of the horde.
"And I said it was an accid-AHH!" Dib ducked as a laser was shot over his head, "They have guns?!"
"You owe them money," Tak explained, her Pak already sending counter shots, "Now get back to the ship!"
She gave the human a head start as he darted toward the door, items in hand. Looking over her shoulder, she grit her teeth when she realized he wasn't going to beat the security gate, juggling his getaway with talking to his stupid sibling! Spotting a fragment of debris, she paused her defense and reared back to give it a forceful kick, sending it flying. It cut through the air before lodging itself between the floor and the gate, jamming it open. Tak fired a few more shots before turning to make her own escape, passing by the clerk and throwing the rest of the money at her face when she protested. Droids hot on her tail, she fell into a sprint toward the entrance. The integrity of the metal keeping the gate in place began to fail, one end scraping painfully against the ground as it began to bend under the pressure. A well-aimed shot struck her in the leg, the burn making her cry out and stumble. Panic setting in, she frantically studied her surroundings, eyes landing on a poorly balanced set of fuel barrels off to the side. Tak discharged one last blast, hitting the bottom barrel and causing it to combust violently as the vibration worked to topple the rest.
Adrenaline coursing through her, she bolted. Ignoring the shooting pain running up her leg, she ran as fast as she could before diving into a skid. The heat of multiple explosions licked threateningly at her skin and as she passed beneath the threshold, she gripped onto the metal and yanked with all her might. The door dropped shut after her with a loud *bang* and a puff of putrid smoke.
The world was quiet, save for the hushed mumbles of a few concerned patrons, but Tak couldn't care any less about them. Heaving breaths left her and she opened her scrunched eyes to survey the damage in disbelief. It amazed her how fast things had gotten so out of hand, even more so at how oddly alive she felt in this moment. Sure, she had her brushes with danger whenever she took a particular odd job, but how long had it been since she'd actually had to put effort into not dying?
"Need a ride, little lady?"
Tak turned, the human's voice bring her back to reality as he sat in her ship, offering her a hand with Mimi peering over the edge. She let out a breathy chuckle, struggling to her feet.
"Don't call me that," she replied, taking his hand.
The relief didn't last, however, as more alarms sounded off in the distance and several ships became visible.
"Damn it."
Guys, please accept this HUGE chapter as a thank you gift for your patience. ALSO! If you haven't already seen it, I have rewritten the last half of chapter 22. As always, thank you for reading!
