A/N: Decided it was high time I transferred some more of my one-shots over to here since I'm probably shutting down my LJ soon...
Title: Hey Jealousy
Prompt by: n/a - written as a gift for the Copper for a Kiss comm
Rating: PG-13
Setting: A year or two post-BDM
Word Count: 3,060
Supposedly, she met him on Persephone, when she was playin' look out on the last job they pulled. Since they left the place a month ago, twas all the girl had talked about and it was driving Jayne to the point where he was feelin' as crazy as she gorram ought to be!
Little girls yammerin' on about boys and such weren't what Jayne signed up for when he joined the crew of Serenity. Course, back then, Kaylee had been the only chirpy little girly girl and even she knew to hold her tongue when people weren't in the mood for such chatter. She was his mei mei, and Jayne could deal with it if'n she had to be stupidly happy a whole bunch of the time. River was a whole different story, and she was getting more and more annoying to Jayne every day.
First he heard of this boy o' hers was when they got back aboard on Persephone and headed up into the black. She and Kaylee was sat on the couch beyond the galley and Jayne was at the table, cleaning his guns. He could hear the giggling and all, then started gettin' bits of conversation. Every sentence outta the Moonbrain's mouth started with 'Rayden is just so...' followed by a whole string of adjectives and a bunch of sighing that made Jayne wanna spit. Like he needed to know how cute and sweet and all some stupid little hwun-dahn was, just 'cause he come from nearer the Core than his ownself.
Course, didn't matter to Jayne none that Crazy got herself a boy toy. Weren't nobody happier than him that the girl was gettin' a little more sane every day, a little less likely to slash him with butchers knives nor kick him in the head for nothin' he done wrong. Since Miranda, she'd been better, two of them had fought side by side many a time, and he'd almost o' said they trusted each other, if'n he was the type to talk on such a topic, which he weren't.
Things was getting different since their trip to Persephone a few weeks back, that day she'd come in grinnin' all over her face, gushin' in great and glorious detail about this kid she met and got to talkin' to. Just when she seemed to be quietin' down some about the boy she started back up again as Mal announced they was makin' a return trip to the planet they weren't meant to call home. Badger almost always had work for 'em these days, Jayne reckoned 'cause he was just a bit scared of Mal since Miranda. Either way, work meant coin, and Jayne didn't argue with that. What he could argue with was all he had to hear about this stupid Rayden character that he never met and never cared to.
The closer they got to Persephone, the more he seemed to hear about the brat, if not from River goin' all dreamy eyed about him, then from Kaylee gettin' excited to meet him or even Simon who was all for his little sis gettin' hooked up all of a sudden. Jayne thought the Doc'd be the last one to want his mei mei making eyes at fellas, but then he never did understand them stuck up Core folk and their weird ways anyhow.
The crew sat down to breakfast right after River had landed them safe at the Eavesdown Docks. Between mouthfuls of protein, Mal was explainin' how the job was gonna go down, whilst Zoe bounced little Jacob on her knees. The girls fussed the baby like always, and Jayne and Simon both tried to focus alternately on their food and the work that was to come. The Doc was to play at bein' a businessman, a role he was made for now he got a bit more where-with-all about him, and Jayne was to be his bodyguard type. The pair of them would be the decoy, whilst Mal and River got light-fingered and snatched the loot. It was all pretty standard, no worries for anybody, 'ceptin Jayne had one thing that was buggin' him.
"So, where in this plan does Moony fit in her stupid-ass fawnin' over her fancy fella?" he asked around a mouthful of food, much to the disgust of everyone else present, "'Cause she starts up with that when she needs to be concentratin' on the job, we all gonna end up dead."
River stuck her tongue out at him for making such a suggestion, whilst Mal shot his merc a dirty look for saying such a thing.
"Lil' Albatross knows we work before we play, dong ma?" he said, double checking that the girl really did understand that, and she duly nodded her agreement.
The plans all settled, the crew got back to eating and mentally preparing themselves for the days events. It all ought to go off without a hitch but then this was one of the Captain's plans and as such not at all guaranteed to run smooth!
It was a couple of hours later when things got going. Simon played his role pretty good, even Jayne had to admit that, if only in his own head. Still, he kept a hand always to his gun in case things went wrong as so often happened, most especially here on this gorram planet where they was altogether too well known.
Simon and Jayne passed by Mal and River without a word as they moved around the back of the building to get what they came for. The distractin' was pretty easy since the pompous little business man that was actually no better than them was all too eager to wax lyrical about his wares and all. Still, Jayne started gettin' uncomfortable when ten minutes later he still hadn't seen the signal that meant they was clear with the loot. Something weren't right and that meant trouble, he was certain of it.
Making excuses about needing to go check something, Jayne left Simon alone with the seller and headed round back to see what was happening with Mal and River. Got a hell of a gorram surprise when he found the Captain was clearly long gone with the boxes of goods, while River remained, giggling like a school girl at whatever the hwun dahm stood with her was saying.
"What the ruttin' hell you doin', Crazy?" he asked in a low voice, mindful of being overheard, "Where's Mal?"
"Captain Daddy returned home," said River easily, "She was to follow but she was... distracted," she admitted, eyes sparkling with fun as she looked to the young man beside her.
Jayne eyed the kid with suspicion and disgust. He weren't rich nor nothing, but he was stuck up his own pigu some, that much was obvious. Closest the little woman was ever gonna get to someone her own kind these days, since the Core was well out of bounds for fugees and outlaws, and they sure as hell fell into them two categories these days.
"Hello, sir," said the boy, "My name is Rayden."
"Don't care for your name, boy," Jayne told him before he even had a chance to finish,
"Care that we gotta get outta here 'fore her brother gets shot up or some such," he said, head tilting towards River a moment, "Just knew you was gonna get in the way of this plan one way or 'tother, didn't I?" he said, looking to River who duly rolled her eyes.
"He over-reacts, as always," she sighed. "They were talking only."
"You got some funny ideas 'bout what fellas want with a girl like you, Crazy," he smirked a dirty sort of a smirk then, at which Rayden's face hardened.
"Hey, you can't talk like that to her!" he protested, stepping towards Jayne who duly pulled his gun from the holster just enough to make him back up.
"C'mon, kid," he smiled almost evilly. "You just give me a reason to hurt ya, 'cause that'd suit me fine."
"Too much testosterone," River complained, her hands going to her head, "and no time!" she said, her annoyed expression quickly replaced with fear. "He cannot keep his mask in place much longer," she said in panic, looking to Jayne to assist in what she knew he must understand as trouble for Simon.
"You get back," he told her, going so far as to put his hand to her shoulder and push her towards the ship. "I'll get your brother out of a jam and see ya back there."
What Jayne didn't realise was that River did not head back to Serenity alone, grabbing Rayden's hand and dragging him along with her. Course there was nothing he coulda done about it if'n he had paid any mind to her taking boys back home. He was still on a job here and that had to come first, for the sake of his pseudo-family and the coin they was gonna make as much as anything else.
Within a half hour they was back onboard ship, Simon glad to go straight into the waitin' arms of a panicked Kaylee and Mal just pissed that another plan had almost gone all to hell in a handbasket. Jayne didn't see River at first, but assumed she'd be up on the bridge looking to take them out of the world a spell til things settled. Apparently he was wrong as he caught sight of her across the cargo bay, watching whilst that stupid brat from before messed around on the weight bench that was Jayne's and always had been. Anger flashing in his eyes at the both of them for various things, he stalked on over there, not noticing whether anyone else cared or not. As it was, Mal, Kaylee, and Simon was all now gone, the rest never even having bothered to come see what had happened.
"Hey!" he yelled, startling Rayden just a little and making him scramble to his feet, "What in the gorram hell you think you're doing, boy?" asked the merc, though his eyes went fast to River when she giggled. "What you doin' bringing the kid on this boat? You gone and got crazier when we weren't lookin'?"
"None of his business," she told Jayne as she pulled herself up to her full height that still looked pretty short next to him. "She can make a pair with whomever she choose, wherever she chooses," she said indignant as she took a hold of Rayden's hand.
The boy grinned all over his face, thinkin' he was smart and clever for getting the girl all het up over his ownself. Jayne weren't standin' for none of it. Hell, he was looking for an excuse to pummel this guy into the ground, though he hadn't entirely thought about why that oughta be so.
"Get outta my face, old man," the kid said cockily. "Me and my girlfriend here got things to do don't concern you none," he told him, as Jayne silently seethed.
"You watch your tongue, boy, or so help me..." he threatened, though it didn't seem to bother the kid at all as he tugged on River's hand and they began walking away.
"My hero," she whispered, fluttering her eyelashes like the girly girl Jayne knew she weren't, though that didn't bug him half so much as when she went leaning in to kiss the little hwun dahn right on the mouth.
"That's it," he said, losing his tempter entirely by now.
The red mist settled before his eyes and Jayne saw nothing else as he strode over to the kid, practically picked him up by the scruff of his neck and dragged him all but kicking and screaming to the ramp. The second there was gap enough to drop him out, that was just what Jayne did.
"And don't come back, y'hear?!" he yelled after the kid, getting the doors shut up fast afore he could try.
He hadn't done exactly what he wanted to do. Pummel the guy til he couldn't stand would've been good, better to fill him full of lead in fact, but that wouldn't sit right with River and he didn't want that. Sure as the worlds turned, Jayne didn't know why this Rayden kid had made him so mad nor why he couldn't just thrash the guy til he bled on account of River likin' him. Hell, she was probably mad as all hell at him for dropping the guy off the ramp like he had, but that he couldn't help. Brain hadn't exactly been firin' right when he did that, just acted on the instincts that'd kept him alive so long. Not that Rayden had been any threat to his life as such, so...
"Poor Rayden," River sighed heavily.
Only then did Jayne realise he was still facing the cargo bay doors, breathing erratically from the anger pulsing through him and the sudden exertion of tipping the boy off the boat, and that the girl was right up behind him getting in his personal space.
"What you yammerin' on now?" he asked crossly. "Don't you come cryin' at me just 'cause I dropped your boy-toy off this boat, we ain't got no time for his kind."
"He was only means to an end," said River with a roll of her eyes as he finally turned to face her, "Very strange. She assumed her plan would not fail, she had not accounted for his being quite so stubborn or so blind," she said, apparently quite aggravated by somethin', though she had turned and walked away long before the penny dropped with Jayne.
His eyes moved from the girl to the door and back, as the cogs in his head turned over, practically creakin' with the strain of tryin' to figure on what she was tellin' him. Rayden was a mark o' some kind, a set up. Crazy had brought him here to make Jayne mad, but that didn't make no sense unless...
"The light has come on?" said River in the distance, and Jayne turned to see her peeking around the side of the door she had just past through a moment before. "He sees the wood for the trees now," she smiled as she realised she was right.
"You set me up?" he asked her, looking equal parts mad and confused. "What you want from me, girl? Green eyed monster o' jealousy or some such? 'Cause that ain't as like gonna happen," he told her with a shake of his head.
"Dropped the boy off the boat," she reminded him smartly as she came back into the cargo bay and they moved toward each other. "Barely touched the girl and he saw green, then red..."
Jayne Cobb was at a loss, which weren't a completely unnatural state for a fella with limited brain power at the best o' times. Sure'n he had to admit he didn't like seein' that stupid-ass kid Rayden cozying up to his girl and all... But for the life of him, Jayne couldn't figure on when he started thinking she was his girl anyhow! The smile on her face sure proved that she knew it, though how she'd read that clean out of his head afore he even thought on it, Jayne had not an idea.
"She is a genius," she told him smartly, with that look that she mostly pointed at her brother when he was being what she called 'a boob'. "She knew of his feelings and reciprocated," she explained, "Knew he would not admit unless made to, had to construct a plan," she shrugged, her explanation simple enough to her own mind and making altogether too much sense to Jayne now that he thought on it a bit.
"You's some kinda... You're a scheming little moonbrained witch that oughta stay outta my head!" he said, apparently somewhat angrier at being duped than she had anticipated.
Still, River didn't flinch, even when he stepped in closer and pointed an angry finger in her face. Instead she only tilted her head a little and let a smile come to her lips once again.
"He would prefer her elsewhere?" she offered. "Out of head, into bed?" she suggested in such a way as to make Jayne wonder how he'd held out so long without getting closer to her.
"Hell, girl, you better be serious when you say stuff like that to a fella," he told her, swallowing hard at the very thought of what she was suggesting.
Sure'n he had a need to let out a whole bunch of pent up feelin's and such he'd gotten from gettin' so mad about the kid that was here before, and at River herself for messin' him around. She had a body he'd seen do things enough to send a man blind just from lookin', and with her mind almost all fixed up these days, and her bein' of age and all, there weren't really nothin' stoppin' him from...
"She is too much for boys to handle," River told him, her hand creeping up onto his shoulder, "Needs a man like him... like Jayne," she said, her eyes meeting his once again, looking as sane as she ever had in spite of the fact she was making him offers that oughta be her craziest idea yet.
"I go to the special hell, I'm blamin' you," he said definitely, even as he swept her up off her feet and got to carryin' her straight down to his bunk.
All River could do was giggle at his attitude, glad her plan had come together.
Later, she must send a wave to her friend, Rayden, and thank him for his part in her plans. He was a good actor, not least since he had no leanings toward womenfolk in the first place. River might explain that to Jayne in time, but not before she got what she wanted; a night in the arms of the man she had not realised she loved so much til she heard him one night, telling the crew of some special woman he'd made time with whilst planetside.
Even geniuses had green-eyed monsters inside sometimes, but no more. Jayne was hers now and she was to be his, for tonight and forever. After all, the only thing stronger than jealousy is love.
