Rosa's hands squeezed the hem of her shirt, her grip almost painfully tight. Standing there, watching her comrades preparing for the expedition launch at the mainstreet, was even harder than she had imagined. She felt sick, her heart aching, and she wished there was something she could do. She wanted to join them, to go with Levi and the others, but instead, she was forced to watch them leave her behind.
"It's gonna be fine, you'll see. I'm sure you'll be able to join the ranks the next time we leave the walls." Hange tried to encourage her, but the pained look on Rosa's face didn't falter.
"I'm sure Commander Erwin will change his mind once you've recovered completely. You'll be back in action before you know it." Armin added, smiling sympathetically.
"It's not the same..." Rosa sighed. "But, I guess you're right. Thanks, guys."
"Hey, Eren! Mikasa! Armin! You ready to go?" Hange asked, waving her hand to signal them to follow.
"Yeah, we're coming!"
"Be safe, you guys. Okay?"
"Sure. Take care, Rosa." Eren nodded, and the trio left.
For a moment, Rosa just stood there, watching her friends join the formation. It was a strange feeling, standing there all alone. She was used to being part of the squad, and she had never really cared if her own life was in danger, but now, the thought of losing her friends was overwhelming.
"Rosa?"
Rosa didn't need to turn around to know who was calling her name. She recognized the voice immediately, and the sound of it caused a sharp pain in her chest.
"I… I was hoping to catch you before we had to leave." Levi said as he stepped next to her. "I was looking for you at the barracks, but you weren't there." Seeing him in that dark green cape made the realization hit even harder— He was really leaving, and there was no telling if he'd be back.
"I came here to wish the others good luck. They're going to need it." Rosa replied, still unable to look him in the eye. Her tone was cold, but only because she was struggling not to let her voice waver.
Levi fell silent. He shifted his gaze to the ground, not really knowing what to say to her. He knew he needed to say goodbye, but it was so much harder than he had expected.
"I wasn't sure if you wanted to see me before you go." Rosa began after a short moment of silence. The two of them hadn't spoken after the argument. This time, though, Rosa had to admit that it was her who had been avoiding Levi.
"Of course I wanted to see you." Levi muttered under his breath. "I can't leave without saying goodbye to my fiancée, right?" He added, his tone softer as he turned to face her again.
Rosa didn't know how to respond. It had been a while since the two of them had exchanged a smile, and she had started to think that the relationship between them would never go back to the way it was. But now, seeing him like this, hearing him speak those words, she could feel her heart melting.
"Well… I guess not." She finally said, letting out a short laugh. "You'd look like a real asshole if you just left without a word." The tension between them slowly faded away as they laughed together. For a moment, everything felt normal again.
"Hey, um, about the other day..." Levi said quietly, the look on his face more serious again. "I'm sorry." He didn't want to part on bad terms, and the guilt over the way he had treated her was eating him alive.
"I'm sorry, too. I didn't mean to push you." Rosa sighed, running her fingers through her hair.
"It's okay. You had every right to be upset."
"Maybe, but that doesn't make it okay."
"Well, looks like it's time to go." Levi said when he saw Erwin riding by. He was about to head towards his horse, but he hesitated. "Rosa?"
"What is it?"
"I'm gonna do something. Don't freak out." Levi muttered under his breath, his gaze scanning the crowd gathered around the main street.
"What do you mean, don't-" Her words got stuck in her throat when she felt his fingers brush against her jawline. Cautiously looking up, her eye locked in with his. Levi's hand moved up onto her cheek, his fingertips gently trailing the edges of the piece of cloth that covered her eye. "What is he going to do?!" Rosa's heart felt like it was about to burst. "Don't tell me he's about to-"
Then, he leaned closer… and pressed a soft kiss onto her forehead. She couldn't believe what was happening— It was just so unexpected. Her eyes fluttered closed and she took a deep breath, savoring the moment. She could feel her whole body shivering as his lips lingered against her skin, and it was the best feeling in the world.
"Alright… I'll be going now." He said after pulling away, his voice so low that only she could hear it.
Feeling his presence shift away from hers, Rosa snapped out of her trance. "Levi!" She called out, grabbing his sleeve when he was about to leave. "Just… stay safe, okay?" She whispered, her eye still fixed on him.
He was clearly caught off guard by her words. He didn't move a muscle as his gaze remained glued to her, the faint blush spreading on his cheeks almost invisible in the morning light. Rosa could have sworn that she had seen a tiny, barely noticeable smile forming on his lips, but the moment was gone before she had a chance to register it.
"I will."
Rosa watched him mount his horse and leave, and a wave of sadness washed over her. She couldn't deny the fact that she was terrified that she might never see him again.
The next few days Rosa spent trying to keep herself busy. She buried herself in her work, spending most of her time at the training grounds. She kept herself occupied, and for the most part, it worked, and she was able to forget about her worries. But once she was back at the barracks, the feeling of loneliness crept over her, and it was hard to not think about him.
Rosa was making her way back to the main building after her training session, her head buzzing with thoughts. As she walked, her thoughts wandered back to her friends. She was still worried, and the thought of something happening to Levi or the rest of her friends made her chest ache. If she could just do something to help, anything, then maybe she wouldn't feel so useless.
The last moment she shared with Levi kept coming back to her— The way he had looked at her, his touch, the gentle kiss on her forehead, and the softness in his voice... The memory filled her with a mixture of warmth and sadness. This fake-engagement arrangement with Captain Levi had truly been an emotional rollercoaster; A series of highs and lows that were starting to mess with her head. Rosa had gotten attached to him, and the realization that he wasn't hers, and that he never would be, was difficult to deal with. Eventually, she'd have to let him go.
She looked down at the ring in her finger, her thumb rubbing against the intricate carvings of the surface. Rosa couldn't help but to wonder how things would have turned out if their relationship was real— What would it be like, waking up next to him every day? To be loved by him? Rosa didn't know the answer. And the fact that she never would, was painful.
Rosa let out a deep sigh. She wasn't sure if the good moments they had shared were worth all the hurt and heartache.
