XXIII
My eyes felt heavy when I eventually awoke. I forced them open, only to discover that I was now laid comfortably in my bed. Without moving my head, I glanced around, wondering how I had gotten myself up here after losing consciousness on the floor. I attempted to roll over, but almost jumped into the air when my eyes locked with Xena. She was sat at the head-end of the bed, her head leaning over my own, staring down at me quietly. Presumably, she had been the one who had put me safely back in bed. It was somewhat unnerving, admittedly, but at the same time, oddly comforting.
"Xena…" I began, sitting up and getting myself out of bed. I clutched at my cheek as soon as I spoke, my jaw still numb from Ryan's punches. Xena simply watched me, smiling all the while. She was sat in my desk chair, although the bony spines jutting from her back pushed the backrest down so far that it had almost completely snapped off. I walked over to the desk, where the tray of food which Ryan had brought me still stood.
"Stone cold." I sighed, poking gingerly at the pork chop and roast potatoes which sat on the cheap plastic tray. That told me that I must have been out for at least an hour, although it could have just as well been four or five.
"Do you want this?" I asked, turning to Xena and handing her the tray. She didn't need to be told twice. Within a matter of mere seconds, she devoured the entire meal, leaving behind nothing but a drizzle of cold gravy.
"Jesus…" I chuckled, taking the tray back from her, slightly concerned that she might eat that, too. "Hungry, are you?" She smiled, nodding her head as she chewed. I was surprised that she hadn't eaten it while I was asleep, to be honest. It was nice to think that she'd actually been kind enough to save it for me, despite her own hunger. It was also nice to think that she'd been there to help me up where my human colleagues had failed to, and had even sat here with me whilst I came round, despite the fact that I had pushed her away after our last… encounter.
"I'm… sorry, by the way," I sighed, sitting down on the bed, still rubbing my injured jaw. "About earlier. I didn't mean to… I mean, you know that I… Look, the truth is, I pushed you away because I was frustrated. I was confused, panicked even. Obviously, something like this has never happened to me before." She looked down at the floor, apparently slightly upset.
"But it's okay, now…" I continued swiftly, attempting to lift her spirits. "After all this, I've realised how selfish I've been. I didn't even consider that… that you might have cared about me, too." Her frown hesitantly lifted to form a slight smile. She cocked her head to the side slightly, as if she couldn't quite comprehend what I was saying. I reached out an open hand to her, which she took gently. Perhaps now would have been the perfect moment for me to tell her how I truly felt about her. I didn't, of course, because I had slightly more pressing things on my mind right now. My jaw still ached, my stomach rumbled, and Ryan's chilling words still buzzed in my head. No, for now, the emotional conversation would have to wait.
"Ryan planned this whole thing." I told Xena, getting up from the bed once again. "Us getting the XH-12's distress call, Cara being attacked by the Facehugger. It was all a plot for him to fill his wallet." Something dawned on me then, though. I realised that without Ryan's plan, Xena might never have existed. The XH-12's derelict escape shuttle could have drifted in space until the end of time, none of the Xenomorph eggs ever seeing the light of day. Because of Ryan, Cara was dead. The one woman I'd been closer too than any other I'd ever known. But by that same logic, because of Ryan's twisted scheme, Xena was alive.
"It's not too late, though." I continued, pushing the unsettling thought aside. "If I go to Alan now, I can tell him all about Ryan's plan. It'll be more than zero-level clearance for him when we get back to Earth." I went to the door, pushing a button on the panel beside it. The door, though, stayed firmly closed. I pushed the button again, once more to no avail. I attempted several times to open the door, each as ineffective as the last. It was as if somebody had disabled the door control panel.
"Archie?" I called out, still furiously pushing the useless button. "Why can't I open the door?"
"With respect, sir, you are currently under zero-level clearance." Archie replied politely.
"I know that." I snapped, frustrated. "But I opened the door earlier when Ryan came. Why can't I now?"
"First Technician Ryan Goddard has filed a complaint against you, sir." The calm-voiced mainframe replied. "Goddard checked into Science and Medical at 6:32 PM with minor facial injuries, including a bloody nose and a gash on the left cheek. He then proceeded to inform Senior Lieutenant Grike that you had assaulted him when he had taken you your evening meal." I could hardly believe my ears. Ryan had reported me? After he'd come in here and punched me?
"Come on, Archie." I pleaded desperately. "You know as well as I do that Ryan's lying. Have you seen my face?" This was a foolish question, of course, since security cameras were not allowed to be placed inside a crew member's living quarters.
"I cannot see you at all, sir." Archie assured me. "However, I am aware of your injuries. I am also aware of the fact that First Technician Goddard did, indeed, physically abuse you."
"Well tell the others that, then!" I shouted, becoming impatient. "For fuck's sake, Archie, why haven't you said anything to them? Unless… wait a minute, has he told you to lie to them again? Just like you lied about Cara's medical scans?"
"No, sir." He replied, speaking as calmly as ever.
"Has he told you to lie about lying, too?" I asked, annoyed with Archie's blatantly obvious fabrication.
"No, sir." He repeated, with exactly the same tone and pitch as before. It was at times like this when I really hated artificial intelligence. One little loophole and you could get them to cover up anything for you.
"So," I sighed, sitting down on the bed once more. "In other words, you're not going to let me out?"
"I'm afraid not, sir." Archie insisted. "You must remain in this room until such a time that the Archimedes returns to Earth." I wanted to punch somebody, I was so frustrated. How could Ryan do this to me? And more to the point, how could I tell the others about his true motives? About how he'd known what the Xenomorphs were capable of the whole time? It was at that moment that I suddenly remembered Xena. I looked over to my desk chair, upon which she still sat quietly.
"Looks like we're not leaving." I sighed, shrugging my shoulders. "Well, you can. I don't much fancy crawling through the air vents when your brother's still wandering around out there." She frowned when I labeled the other Xenomorph as her brother, but biologically speaking, it was true. Then again, by that logic, Cara was also her… mother, I guess? Look, I wasn't really in the mood to start writing up a family tree right now, okay?
Gazing up at the digital clock on the opposite wall of the room, I noticed that the time was actually already 10:37 at night. It seemed that I really had been 'out' for quite a while. Would the others even still be out searching at this time of night? Probably not, considering we'd given up at eight the night before. I let out a huge yawn, stretching my arms into the air in an exaggerated manner. Even if I had been unconscious for the last four hours, I was still tired. Besides, I had a lot to think about right now. How to tell the others about Ryan, how to keep Xena safely hidden. I still hadn't even begun to consider what I'd do if she was actually still alive by the time we reached Earth. I decided that for now, it was best to sleep on it. After all, I had the next sixteen months alone in this room to think about stuff like that.
"Look, Xena…" I began, afraid to upset the tender creature. "Thank you for helping me out today, I, uh… I appreciate it. But it's getting late, and I'm pretty tired. So… I'll see you in the morning?" She whimpered softly, clearly trying to take me on some kind of guilt trip. Regrettably, though, it worked. I just couldn't say 'no' to her, could I?
"Fine." I sighed, heading over to the light switch. "I suppose you can stay in here for the night. You can, I don't know, curl up on the floor or something, if you like. As long as you're quiet." I watched as her face brightened up once again. She smiled, and nodded silently, before slumping down from the desk chair and onto the warm, carpeted floor. I waited until she had lied down, then flicked the light off, before walking over to my own bed and climbing in. As I lay there, I heard the quiet shuffling of Xena as she made herself comfortable on the floor behind me. Once again, I found myself at a moral crossroads. I felt bad making her sleep on the floor like some kind of animal, but I couldn't just invite her to share a bed with me, now could I?
"Goodnight, Xena." I whispered, to which she replied with a gentle 'grunt' of agreement. Then, I said something else. Something which I think I had know for quite some time now, but which up until just a few minutes ago, I had never fully accepted. Something which I had said to very few people before, and which I'd probably say to very few again.
"Xena?" I began. She made a sort of 'hmm?' sound, as if to say 'I'm trying to sleep, for God's sake, what do you want?'
"I… I love you." I finished. Then, I closed my eyes, and drifted peacefully to sleep.
