The Misadventures of Ponified Friends
Chapter 8: Big Bird's Mean Cousin (Griffon the Brush-Off)
My day started out like this.
I was doing my typical morning routine on weekends. I got out of bed, ate breakfast, got back in bed, and read some books to pass some time, and eventually, I got bored. Also, my body was stiff as nails. I figured I should do some exercise, well, more of a stroll around town actually.
Coincidentally, Twilight herself planned to take a walk, so I decided to join her.
Hours later, we stopped by the park and gave our legs a break. We both sat on a bench and entertained ourselves to relax. While Twilight brought a book (I wish I had, too), I observed the scenery around me. It was one of the most peaceful mornings I've ever had.
Until a particular pink pony arrived, that is.
Hoof flying action overload! She was like a stunt superstar! Flying higher and higher, until Rainbow Dash swooped down!"
She zoomed away in a blink of an eye. Seriously, how was she doing this? We're all cartoons, but even I couldn't do that.
"And just when before she hit the ground-" Ok, now she was floating in midair with no support whatsoever. "-she pulled up! VROOM!"
"Uh-huh." said a very busy Twilight.
"That's quite amazing of Rainbow Dash, Pinkie," I commented, attempting a genuine smile. "And then what happened?"
"And then! She looped around and around like- whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! WHOO!" Pinkie turned her head in every direction as if implying that Rainbow was dashing everywhere in the sky. She then flopped to the ground.
"Uh-huh," said Twilight yet again.
When I was about to tell Pinkie to get up from the dirt, the sound of an aircraft came ringing in. I looked up and saw Rainbow Dash flying above us.
What's with the airplane sound anyway?
I looked down and saw Pinkie following the blue Pegasus. I heard a relieved 'phew' come out of Twilight.
"Is that book really good that you don't want to be disturbed?" I asked her curiously. The book cover was blank, so I have no idea what she was reading.
She turned to me. "Well, not exactly, but THIS chapter's full of thrills! I wish every part's as good as this!"
Now I know that it's a story.
"Hm, good for you then." was my reply.
Twilight got up from the bench, then with her magic, closed the book and placed it inside her saddlebag. "I'm heading back home. There's this formula of a potion I found that I wanted to try. So, you have any plans for today?"
I pondered for a moment. "I could go job hunting. Why?"
Twilight smiled. "Oh, nothing. Then I wish you good luck, Star Blast."
"Thanks."
I waved goodbye as she started to head back to the library. I sighed.
Now, where do I start from here? I guess I should continue walking. There could be some wanted posters and requests in town for job openings.
Before I had the chance to get off from the bench, I felt the air in my lungs rush out of me when I was suddenly tackled to the ground.
I groaned painfully. I felt dizzy. There was someone on top of me, which I couldn't quite clear for my vision was a haze. It was saying something to me.
"You've got to help me!" It shouted.
Help you with what?
I was then being shaken violently.
"Star Blast! Help me find a hiding spot!"
"…Rainbow Dash?" I once again groaned. "Was it necessary to tackle me into the ground?"
"I'm sorry, but I need your help! Pinkie has been bothering me for days, and she just won't stop following me!" Rainbow said to me.
"Rainbow Daaash~!" I heard Pinkie's voice in the distance.
"Oh, shoot! Gonna fly!" Rainbow Dash took off, pressing on my stomach to gain more momentum. That hurt so bad.
This morning didn't turn out to be peaceful.
"Hey, Star Blast! Have you seen Rainbow Dash?"
I looked up at Pinkie, "Nope, I haven't…"
"Really? Oh well, thanks anyway!"
She hopped along away from my location, leaving me lying here on the grass.
I'm going to let my body recover for a bit…
"So all I need to do is carry these scrolls to the library, and that's it?" I asked the tiny dragon.
Spike nodded, "After that, leave the rest to me."
I sighed. This is way too easy.
While I was collecting the scrolls, for a second, I saw a blur of pink outside the window. Then, I felt this chilly feeling, the same kind of chill I felt when that portal appeared back home, but I quickly shook it off.
Spike was already outside the building when I had this strange feeling again as if my instincts were telling me not to go outside.
Then it was proven right when I heard thunder.
"Spike?!" I called for the dragon worriedly as I rushed.
When I got out, I heard hiccups and laughter from some pony.
"Oh, Rainbow Dash, we startled Spike into getting the hiccups!" Pinkie Pie said before she resumed laughing.
"Pinkie? Rainbow? What the heck happened out here? And what was that thunder all of a sudden?" I asked as Rainbow laughed along.
Spike chuckled, "Don't worry-*hiccup*- Star Blast! Pinkie and-*hiccup*-Rainbow Dash just-*hiccup*-pulled a fast prank-*hiccup*-on me!"
As Spike picked up a scroll on the ground, he yelped when his hiccup ignited his dragon fire that accidentally sent the paper to the Princess.
"Are you ok, kid?" I walked towards the little dragon.
"Don't worry! *hiccup* Dragons are-*hiccup*-fireproof!" Spike reassured.
"But, are you sure that you're fireproof on the inside?" I kept asking him.
Spike waved it off, "Don't be silly! *hiccup*."
Spike continued picking up the scrolls, but every time he picks one up, his hiccups sends the papers to the Princess.
"I wish the same thing is-*hiccup*-true with scrolls…" Spike commented.
I shook my head at the sight, and the two mares were still laughing…
"Well, you two are certainly enjoying other people's misery," I said to them.
"I know! Have you ever SEEN something more hilarious?" Pinkie asked before chortling herself down to the ground.
"I can think of ONE thing," Rainbow replied. Looking at an unsuspecting Pinkie Pie, she hopped out of her cloud, stretched her legs and kicked the same cloud they used on Spike.
I winced when the cloud boomed. Pinkie Pie cried in surprise, and a few moments later, she started the hiccups.
Seriously, I've never seen anyone laughing while getting the hiccups at the same time. And it was quite disturbing.
"I thought you were trying to hide from Pinkie Pie? Yet here you are as partners pulling off jokes." I said to the Rainbow maned mare.
"Well, I was, but I didn't take her for a prankster. She's not as annoying as I thought!" Rainbow admitted.
"Are you-*hiccup*-kidding?! I LOVE to pull pranks! It's all in-*hiccup*-good fun, and Pinkie Pie-*hiccup*-loo~-*hiccup*-ves to have-*hiccup*-fun!" Pinkie Pie brought up.
Rainbow Dash flew down. "Hey, Pinkie, you wanna hang out?"
The pink pony grinned. "That'd be-*hiccup*I'd really-*hiccup* When do-*hiccup* I mean-*hiccup* When would you-"
I quickly placed a hoof on her mouth. "A simple nod is what she needed, Pinkie."
"Have you seen Speedy Glee, Blast? I was wondering if he'd like to join our prank montage." Rainbow Dash asked.
"He's still sleeping back in the library, but I'll relay the message to him once I get back."
"Cool! Tell him to meet Pinkie and me in the Gag Store uptown if he does!"
I nodded. "Ok then, see you two later."
The two waved and went off. Now, should I tell Lem about this?
(Speedy's POV)
It was eleven o'clock in the morning when Robert woke me up. I would've just ignored him and sleep in a few more minutes (or hours), then he mentioned pranking with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie.
And being the prank-loving teenager that enjoys other people's demise (but not to the point where they get hurt. I'm not a jerk), I feel that it's just right to show up, you know? Besides, I have nothing else to do today since it's my day off from work.
I flew towards the store where Pinkie usually buys some of her materials for her parties, like ammo for her Party Cannon. I figured that's where they are buying the stuff for pranking.
Can you believe it? Buying ammo for a dumb party cannon? I laughed at the thought.
… Okay, I may have underestimated that thing once. It almost tore my head off.
I landed down in front of the store and looked for the two. They trotted out of the building with baskets full of pranking materials.
Rainbow Dash saw me, and she placed her basket down. "Hey, Speedy! Glad you could come!"
"I came over as soon as I heard that you're pranking. I even forgot to eat brunch!" I said, "So, what's the gameplan?"
"Well, at first, we planned to prank everypony in town at once, but we have a slight problem with our budget. These are only good for six, at least." RD said.
Six huh? Hold the phone. "Why don't we just prank our friends with those as a backup?"
"That IS plan B!" Pinkie exclaimed.
"Really? Then problem solved!"
So it began. First target? Rarity.
I carefully placed the fake flowers in front of Rarity's door. I opened the cap of sneezing powder and sprinkled it all over. When it was all set, I hurriedly rang the doorbell and skedaddled away from the boutique.
I hid behind the bush with Pinkie and Rainbow.
"Is she even home?" I heard Rainbow wondered.
I glanced at her, "She is. She was working on some frilly looking dress."
"This is gonna be GOLD!" Pinkie said in excitement.
Finally, Rarity opened the upper part of her door then she looked down at the fake flowers.
I couldn't help but chuckle silently with the two girls when Rarity started to smell it. When she raised her head, her nose was covered with the pink powder, then she began sneezing.
Jeez, even her sneeze was too delicate.
The three of us laughed as we moved along to the next target.
The freakin' library!
So the plan was to replace the ink Twilight's using with an invisible one. Since I live here, it was my job to execute the prank so everything will go smoothly. Just got to be careful not to get caught by Spike, Twilight, or Rob. He would kill me with his stare that could even match Ghost Rider's...
Yeah. It's pretty traumatizing, especially in ones in his anti-social days.
I looked around sneakily, and it looked like Twilight went up to her room and bingo! I found the vial of ink just lying around.
I 1replaced the vial with the invisible one then I took off, zooming out of the library.
Pinkie and Rainbow Dash were perched on a tree branch, so I flew over their place. We watched as Twilight walked down the stairs with some big books. She looked over those, and she began writing down something on a paper.
"Turning invisible in three…two…one…" Rainbow Dash counted down.
All the words on the paper disappeared when Twilight turned around to check on her chemistry watch-a-ma-call-it. She looked back at her writing and the look of confusion on her face made me snicker. Her lab experiment glowed brightly and made her alarmed. She tried looking for her notes until finally, it exploded.
Like the previous prank, we laughed as we made our way towards Sweet Apple Acres. Oh boy, I couldn't wait to mess with Hassan again.
"Wait, wait, wait, we're going to paint ALL the apples here?"
"With spray paint. Did you think we're gonna paint 'em with a brush?"
I scoffed. "Yeah!"
"This will only take a few seconds. Quick! Before Applejack and Silver Spur returns!"
I forced my willpower to keep up with Rainbow and Pinkie Pie with the job. Imagine if we actually used a paintbrush. I would've had tire myself to death.
Ten minutes later, Applejack and Hassan went out of the barn with wagons attached to them. Pinkie, Rainbow, and I smiled in their direction.
"Howdy, guys." Applejack greeted.
"What the heck are you three smiling about?" the Shuriken demanded. Heh, shuriken. His Cutie butt mark still looks like a shuriken to me.
"I don't know," Rainbow Dash giggled. "Aren't you noticing something strange goin' on in here?"
"Yeah~!" Pinkie Pie joined in. "REAL strange!"
When AJ and Hassan discovered the prank, the next thing we knew was that we were bombarded with colorful apples.
The sun was setting around the time we had our last prank of the day. A fake tortoise leisurely minding its own business as it swims in the pond. The trick here was that it was attached to a hose, which Pinkie Pie was controlling.
And when someone comes close to the toy, it's squirting time…the safe for work kind :)
While Pinkie Pie hopped in place due to anticipation, Rainbow Dash acted as the lookout, using a binocular. I just made sure that no one was looking at us so that we could make this prank a success.
"Is someone over there? Who're we gonna squirt? Who're we gonna squirt?" Pinkie asked.
I giggled silently. Heh, squirt…
RD responded with a chuckle, "Fluttershy."
I widened my eyes to that one, "Flutters?"
"What?!" Pinkie Pie spat out the hose. "No, no, no, no! We can't prank Fluttershy!"
"She's so freaking delicate! I bet she'll break down crying even with this harmless prank." I said.
RD sighed. "Yeah… I guess you're right. Huh, we need another victim who's made of tougher stuff. So, who's it gonna be?"
She took her sight out of the binocular, and I noticed that there was black ink encircled around the area of that eye. This was definitely Pinkie Pie's doing.
And she was amused, "I've got someone in mind. The toughest around!"
Rainbow was still unaware of this classic prank. "Awesome! Who? Who? Do I know them?"
PP pointed at the water, "Oh yes. You're very close!" and she laughed some more.
Rainbow laughed along as well. I just rolled my eyes in amusement. This is the work of an amateur.
"Good one, Pinkie." I offered her a high five- I mean, high-hoof.
She gladly accepted my hoof.
"Down low…"
I quickly reeled back before she could make any contact.
"Whoops! Too slow!"
As the sun finally went down with the sounds of joyous hilarity, Fluttershy poked the forgotten toy tortoise.
(Blast's POV)
"Wait, they did WHAT to the apples?"
"They painted them! I don't know how they managed to do that, but they just did!"
I sighed. Well, they certainly went all out this day.
As if on cue, Speedy came barging in our room.
"Top of the evening to you, ladies!"
Silver glared at him. "Look who decided to show up. You and those two ponies just had to paint all the apples."
Speedy just laughed at his remarks. "Relax! The paints are washable."
"Yeah, and it took us hours to clean them!" a huff came out of Silver. "You could've at least made it rain with those Pegasus powers of yours."
"Sorry bro, I was just caught in the moment!" Speedy continued laughing.
"Hahaha… Yeah, laugh all you want, you overgrown Canary."
Speedy rolled his eyes and flew towards his bed, "Oh, don't be such a killjoy, Hassan."
"By the way, are you the reason behind Twilight's failed experiment?" I asked.
Speedy lifted his head up to look at me. "Uh…Maybe?"
I raised a brow, "I'm pretty sure that you saw the result when you came here, right?"
"Oh, so that's why the table looks like coffee jelly."
"Not only that, but Twilight was also upset man," Silver said. "I would apologize to her soon if I were you."
"What's the big deal? It's just a joke." Speedy reasoned.
I frowned, "Look, some people may enjoy your pranks for laughs, but there are some who found it annoying." Including me, of course. "Please tell me you three are done with this thing…"
"Well, they didn't say anything after our last prank," Speedy said. "I guess we'll see tomorrow."
I yawned, as well as Silver.
"I'm beat." Silver moaned as he buried himself in his bed. "All the extra work drained my energy."
"Me too…" Speedy sighed exhaustingly. "Sweet dreams, boys."
After I was done reading, I neatly arranged my bed and flopped down on it, and I turned off my lamp.
I closed my eyes, and I silently thanked that I was the only one here that didn't get pranked before I drifted.
Today was Sunday, and I just repeated my routine.
This time though, I've got company in the form of Lemuel.
"So dude, I heard you went job-hunting yesterday. How did it go? You've found one yet?"
"Actually…It was rather cut short." I answered. "The only wanted ad I saw was for a Clown Emporium. I don't know why the Mayor's office recommended it to me, though."
"Maybe they thought you have clown fetish, perhaps?"
"… Don't even go there."
Speedy chuckled. "I'm hungry. Do we have food around here?"
I nodded. "There are some leftover Hayburgers in the fridge."
"Awesome. Gonna go head down for a bit." He said as he flew towards the door and opens it.
As he headed downstairs, I wondered why there was a fridge in this world in the first place. A mixture of generations, I guess? That DJ pony had bass cannons and synthesizers, yet they have stage plays typically, and I have not seen a TV around here. I'm still mostly confused at the medieval setting of this universe.
"Twilight! TWILIGHT!"
Did I hear Pinkie Pie scream?
It felt like the whole library shook when someone closed the door with enough force.
"WHAT THE HELL?!" Speedy shrieked in surprise. I better head down and see what the problem is.
"Great, Pinkie! Now look at what you made me do!" Speedy ranted as he pointed at the soggy burger mess on the floor. "You owe me breakfast!"
"I'll give you TEN boxes of cupcakes! Just hear me out!" Pinkie said.
"What's going on? Is there something wrong, Pinkie Pie?" I asked.
"I…guess, you can say that?" she shook her head. "Anyway, when I headed towards Rainbow Dash's house, there's this really big Griffon who turned out to be her friend!"
"Ok, first of all, what the heck is a Griffon?"
I turned to my yellow friend. "Half-lion, half-eagle if I remember correctly."
"A lion-eagle hybrid? That is so cool!" he said with a smile, but his face turned into a confused look. "But why do you sound so troubled?"
"The thing is, she's acting like a really big meanie! I've never met a griffon this mean! Well, actually, I've never met a griffon at all, but I bet if I had, she wouldn't be as mean and grumpy as Gilda!"
I hummed attentively, "Those are very strong words coming from a friendly pony like you. Are you sure she's that mean?"
She rolled her eyes, "Uh, yeah! She keeps stealing Rainbow Dash away, she popped my balloon, and she told me to buzz off!"
"I don't know," Speedy pondered as he put his hoof under his chin. "Sounds like you're pretty jelly."
"Jelly?" Pinkie asked.
Looks like she didn't know the slang, "Jelly means jealous, Pinkie."
"Jealous?! I'm not jealous!"
"Eeyup! Pretty pink with envy. Not green." Speedy added.
"Yeah…" I cleared my throat. "Look, just because Rainbow has another friend doesn't mean that she's stealing her away from you. We don't even know who this Gilda was until you mentioned her, so we're not sure if what you're saying is true."
Pinkie looked at me, perplexed. "But-but I! Gilda's that-! A-are you seri-?!" She screamed before she stomped her way towards the door, and she slams it.
Speedy whistled, "Well, that's a new kind of PP."
"I can't believe it…" I said. "She seems like the type who wouldn't say those things."
"Dude, you wanna check this Gilda chick out?"
"I'm sorry, but I'm going to be kinda busy dealing with your mess." I pointed at the coffee jelly table. "Twilight told me that there was a spell that could turn this table back to normal somewhere. She went shopping with Spike for her next experiment ."
"Oh… So it's up to me then?"
I nodded. "Just… be careful. We don't know how to deal with this Griffon friend of RD."
"Relax, dude!" He said with a reassuring smile. "If anything weird happens, I'll either step in or get out of the way."
"Alright," I opened the door for him with my magic.
(Speedy's POV)
I flew all over Ponyville, and there were still no signs of Gilda. Surely, it's easy enough to spot a huge bird flying in the sky, right?
Well, I wouldn't count on that anymore.
I couldn't even spot Rainbow Dash, even in her favorite hangouts.
I decided to walk on foot; my wings were killing me, I tell you. I need to rest at least for a while.
As I walked around aimlessly, I spotted Pinkie Pie drinking a milkshake outside of Sugarcube Corner. Now, this is a place I hadn't checked.
But Pinkie, though…I have never seen her look so glum. She's like a totally different perso- pony, pony.
Damn this world with their horse puns!
Anyways, I marched towards sad pony, "Hey P, you alright?"
"Huh? Oh, I'm ok, I guess." Yeah, I can tell she's bummed out.
I took the seat next to her, "So…Why don't you tell me more about Gilda, huh? What's she like?"
"I already told you! She's nothing but a big mean grumpy-big-meanie pants!" Pinkie groaned before she sighed and slumped down on the table, "I don't know, Speedy. Maybe you're right. Maybe I am a jealous-judgmental-jealous-jealousy pants. I may as well improve my attitude or something…"
I shook my head. "No, you don't need to improve anything about you. You're already the friendliest pony in Ponyville, and everyone here adores you! Don't change it just because of some random stranger. Like wise men say, just be yourself!"
That made her smile happily at the least. "…that is true."
"Oh, and it is completely alright to be jealous. It's normal! It's part of life's challenges and gifts!" I pointed at myself with a hoof. "Trust me; I sometimes get jealous when it comes to friends."
"Really?"
"Mm-hmm." I leaned closer to her. "About five years ago, when we first met Silver, I was so jealous because Star Blast spends most of his time with him. When my jealousy got the best of me, I pranked Silver. And do you wanna know what happened?"
Pinkie nodded in full attention.
"He almost tore me in HALF!" I announced. "Of course not literally. More like, my stomach hurts so bad when he punched me in the gut. After that, Star Blast lectured me, and he said that he was just helping Spur to adjust and get used to our city, and long story short, we now have a love-hate kind of friendship."
Pinkie stood up and rubbed her head, confusingly, "So are you saying that I need to do the same thing to Gilda?"
My face scrunched for a moment, "Oh! I was just sharing a story. Did you thought that was some sort of advice lesson or something?"
Before she could reply, we heard a sound of laughter in the sky, accompanied by zooming sounds of a jet.
In my opinion, it was SOOOO over the top. Even I could make those sound effects, hell maybe every Pegasus that flies fast. It made me look and sound faster, though, so I'm not complaining.
I noticed that Pinkie hid under the table. I looked up, and there was Rainbow Dash and…that's Gilda?!
So that's what Griffons look like, and man she looks scary! I think I'm starting to believe Pinkie Pie!
"That was sweet! I gotta take care of a few weather jobs around here. Shouldn't take long, just uh, hang in town, and I'll come find you!" Rainbow said to the fierce-looking mutant eagle as they glided down near our place.
"That's cool, I guess. I'm gonna go chow down!" Gilda replied.
I quietly moved under the table, down to hide also. I better observe her carefully so that I could report something back in the library.
RD took off, and that was the moment to see if Pinkie's allegations were indeed true.
Gilda observed around a little bit before catching an eye out in a vegetable stand. I saw a malicious grin form in her face. She glided her way towards the stand and made a prank on Applejack's grandma.
"Aaaah! A RATTLER! A RATTLER!" Granny pointed her shivering hooves at Gilda's tail. "Run for the hills! Everybody! Protect yourselves!"
Though the sight of Granny's running speed was hilarious, she's an old woman! I wouldn't do that!
"Poor Granny Smith, she didn't know it was a joke. How mean!" Pinkie glared for a moment. "No, no, I can't misjudge her. It was kind of a funny prank…"
I disagreed with her on this one. "That's no joke in my standards. Something terrible could have happened to Granny! Scaring an old lady…was she even thinking?"
I turned my attention back to the troublemaking Gilda. She looked so suspicious in front of those busy shoppers…
For a split second, I saw her snatch an apple with her tail. Now she's stealing?! She's becoming a sore in my eyes the more she continues!
I heard Pinkie gasp sharply, "I DID misjudge her! She's not only a meanie-mean pants, she's also a thief!"
I was now burrowing a hole behind Gilda's head with my glare, "One more strike, and that's it…"
PP looked up for a bit, "No, no, no-no-no. She might give it back! It's just a joke."
I looked at her, skeptically, "Stealing is not considered a joke. Also, how the hell will she give back something she already ate?"
She shrugged.
"Alright, little ones. This way, this way." I heard a fairly soft and timid voice in my left. I then found out it was Fluttershy going all Snow White again, helping a family of ducks cross the path of this busy market place. "Mama Duck, you're free and clear."
However, Gilda, who could clearly see anyone in front of her, bumped into Fluttershy and said, "Hey!"
"Please excuse me…" said Fluttershy.
"I'm walkin' here!" Gilda yelled, prompting Flutters to back away.
"I…I'm sorry…I was just trying to-"
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Why don't you just watch where you're going, doofus?!"
I gasped. How dare her mock someone as innocent as Flutters!
Gilda marched towards Fluttershy in an intimidating fashion, scaring the family of ducks that Fluttershy was helping.
"Bu-but…I…I…" Fluttershy looked so defenseless.
Strike 3. She's out.
Gilda took a deep breath, and before she could do something that would harm my pony friend, I stepped in with my annoying offensive mode.
"Hey, sister!" I bellowed. "That's my girl!"
Gilda gazed at my presence, "Are you talking to me, you tiny pony?"
"What did you just call me?!" I kept moving forward in front of her, trying to invade as much of her personal space and annoy her as possible. This method works most of the time back home.
"Hey back off!" she said annoyingly.
"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? I break-a yo face!" I did my best Robert Deniro impersonation for some reason.
Everybody was looking at us, probably wondering what the commotion was about. Gilda glanced in every direction. "All these ponies watching are making me buggy. I gotta bail."
She flew upwards, and away she goes. She couldn't handle THIS booooi~!
I heard sobbing behind me, so I turned around and saw Fluttershy nearly weeping.
"Yo Flutters, it's alright now. Gilda flew away like a lil' bit- I mean, female dog." I reassured her.
She sniffed. "Thank you, Speedy…"
I smiled, "Don't mention it." The sounds of quacking caught my attention. "Also, you might want to keep those ducks away from the vegetables. Looks like their dropping somethin' stinky."
"Oh, my goodness!" She galloped away. "Not there, baby ducklings!"
I returned to Pinkie's table. "You were right! Not only is she mean, but she's also an F-ing bully and a thief!"
"I know, right? And she almost roared at Fluttershy's face! No one does that to her! No. One!"
She began walking inside Sugar Cube, so I followed her in.
"This calls for extreme measures! Pinkie Pie Style!" she declared, stopping in the center of the shop.
"Oh! Oh! Are you gonna shoot her in the face with your party cannon? No, wait! Poison her cupcake! No no! Something even better! " I stopped suggesting when she had this startled look. "…yeah, those are a little too much."
"I've thought of something much effective, Speedy. I am one hundred percent sure that THIS will work!"
"And that is…?"
(2 hours later)
I couldn't believe she's throwing a party for this devil incarnate!
I would've called the police or something! Hell, maybe even report this to the Princess herself! The thing's that Gilda had done was a pretty big deal even in this cartoon world.
Damn it. If Pinkie said this would work, then I had no choice but to support her.
I sat down near the punch bowl and poured myself a cup. Somehow my sweat shows through my yellow pony coat. An hour of flying around Ponyville to invite ponies was exhausting.
Pinkie Pie was welcoming the ponies entering the party. Finally, most of the gang had arrived. I waved at them.
"Who is this Gilda I've heard nothin' about?" Applejack wondered, walking around with Rarity.
"I hear she's an old friend of Rainbow Dash. A Griffon! So rare!" Rarity showed some interest.
I looked at the entrance, noticing Twilight and Fluttershy walk in. Good timing! I was going to say something to her anyway. "Yo, Twilight!"
"Hi, Speedy." Twilight looked away in spite.
This made me chuckle nervously. "So… Did you get new ink for your studying?"
"I almost went over to Canterlot, thank you very much. Good thing there's a store beyond the town. The ink I use is rare and high-quality."
I winced. "Didn't know that was so valuable… I am so sorry! RD and PP made me do it, and somehow I lost it!"
She sighed. "Don't worry, all is forgiven. But next time, keep the pranks at a minor level."
"I swear I won't do anything stupid and inappropriate to you ever again! You know what? Let me make it up to you. Give me one of your chores or something!"
"I told you, all is forgiven." She changed her expression. "Anyway, you've met Gilda, right? What is she like?"
Before I answered her question, I looked over her and saw Flutters whimper.
"Oh, you are gonna love her, Twi!" I said sarcastically. "She's a total hoot."
"… Okay?"
I moved past her, and I whispered to Fluttershy. "You don't have to worry. Not while we're around."
"Uh…Speedy? About Pinkie's party for Gilda, do you think it's a good idea? I mean-"
"Don't worry your pretty little head about mean, old Gilda." Pinkie interrupted, tapping Fluttershy's head. "Your Auntie Pinkie Pie's got it all taken care of!"
"I'm a year older than you…" Ain't that a fantastic fact? So that's why she had this mature aura all over her.
Meanwhile, Gilda walked in the building, prompting Pinkie to move towards the door.
"Gilda! I'm so honored to throw you one of my signature Pinkie Pie parties! And I really, truly, sincerely welcome you amongst us pony folk!"
Pinkie held out her hoof, in which Gilda hesitated to shake. When she did grab it, she jolted, and she was electrocuted. Pinkie laughed, and I saw a buzzer wrapped around her hoof.
The F? It was just a vibrating button, but in here, it's literally electric!
This caused everybody in the building to laugh.
"Oh Pinkie Pie, the old hoof-shake buzzer," Rainbow laughed along with Pinkie. "You are a scream."
"Yeah…Good one, Pinkie Pie…" Gilda said nervously. It seems like she's cautious because RD is here. Hah! So she can't do anything stupid from here on out!
"Come on, G. I'll introduce you to some of my other friends." RD wove past in between Pinkie and Gilda.
"Right behind you, Dash!" she then turned to face Pinkie angrily. "I know what you two are up to."
I did a double-take when I overheard her statement, "Excuse me, but I had nothing to do with this, so count me out. In fact, you should be glad that we ain't tattle-tale-ing you to Rainbow Dash…not yet at least."
She grumbled, "I know what you're planning."
Pinkie laughed obnoxiously, "Well, I hope so! This wasn't supposed to be a surprise party!"
"I mean, I've got my eye on you…" Gilda said in a hiss.
"And I got my eye on you." Pinkie countered, her eyes popping out of its sockets for comedic effect.
Hmm…Let me try that. Nnnnngggghhh-! Ow, ow, migraine!
"Everyone," all the attention turned to Pinkie. "I'd like you all to meet Gilda. A long time, dear friend of Rainbow Dash!"
Gilda was standing in front with a scowl. Suddenly, she was hugged by Pinkie.
"Let's honor her and welcome her to Ponyville."
Everyone cheered for Gilda, whose smile was rather forced. Rainbow went to her side and grinned proudly. If only she knew.
"Please, help yourself." Pinkie presented Gilda a table full of delicious food.
"Vanilla lemon drops?" Gilda eyed said food. "Don't mind if I do."
She picked up a piece and popped one in her mouth. Her face suddenly twisted, and out came fire from her mouth so hot that Pinkie roasted a marshmallow.
"HOOOOOTTT~!"
"G! The punch!" RD instructed when Gilda really didn't need to be told.
Big bird dashed her way to the bowl of refreshment. She took a cup full and chugged it down…only to realize that the cup was broke and all the juice spilled all over her chest.
"Well, whaddya know? Pepper in the vanilla lemon drops AND punch served in a dribble glass!" Pinkie stated.
"Priceless!" RD said through chuckles.
Gilda poured punch in a new cup and gulped, "Ha ha…hilarious."
I clearly see a pattern here. That electro-shock buzzer, the pepper-filled lemon drops, and the broken cup? Was this Pinkie's true intention? To prank Gilda after prank after prank, until she can't take it no more and leave?
"Hey, G! Look! Presents!" RD showed her the table of gifts.
Gilda obliged happily when she took a cylinder-shaped present. She untangled the gift with her beak, and out came toy snakes that popped.
"Spittin' Snakes, some pony pulled that prank on me last month!" said Applejack.
"Haha…I bet I know who that was…" Gilda instinctively looked at PP.
"You do?" asked Pinkie innocently.
So the party went on for a while. What a miracle that was considering the tension between Pinkie and Gilda. Fluttershy went full Disney Princess mode again by orchestrating a bird choir for the party's merriment while the others listened to the tunes. Honestly, I wish Vinyl Scratch was here. She'd turn this party into a rave with her music! But yeah, the ambiance of this place suits the bird choir well.
"Cake time, everypony!" Pinkie arrived back from the kitchen, carrying a gigantic pink frosted cake.
"Hey, can I blow out the candles?" Spike asked.
"Why don't we let Gilda blow out the candles, Spike?" Twilight told the tiny lizard. "She is the guest of honor, after all."
I nodded, "Watcha' waitin' for, pretty birdie?"
She mumbled curses (yeah, I could hear them) to me silently as she walked towards the cake. She huffed and blew the candle lights. Seconds later, the candles were re-lit.
Oh, so relighting candles, huh? This is a classic!
She huffed and blew, huffed and blew numerous times as the crowd laughed at her demise.
"I wonder who could've done that?" Pinkie said.
"Who cares?" Spike dug into the cake and then sprouted up like a mole on top. "This cake is amazing!"
"Spike!" Twilight exclaimed.
"What? It's great, so try some!"
Gilda's face was furious.
"Hey, you're not upset by some silly candles now, are you?" I said to her in a teasing tone.
"Why you little-" She noticed Rainbow Dash arriving, "I mean, no way. Like I always say, I'm down with a good prank."
I snickered at her nervous tone. Her fury came back when Rainbow Dash passed us by as she continued to kill me with her stare. Not gonna work, sister. I've had worse and survived.
"Hey ya'll, it's pin the tail on the pony!" Apple J announced as everypony gathered around.
"My favorite game!" Wow. What are you five, Rarity? "Can I go first? Can I have the purple tail?"
"Well, I am the guest of honor," Gilda quickly snatched the tail away from Rarity. "So, I'll have the purple tail."
"Yeah! Gilda should definitely go first!" Pinkie said.
"All over it," I added. I then picked up the blindfold and gave it to Spike. "Let's get her patched up!"
"What are you doing?" Gilda yelled at Spike as he tied up the cloth around her head.
She was then spun around by Pinkie Pie, spinning like a top at an absurd speed.
"You'll spin around and around until you can pin the tail on the pony! Now just walk straight ahead and pin the tail!" Pinkie instructed, helping Gilda face the direction of the tail-less pony poster.
However, "Just walk straight ahead and pin the tail! Yeah right! This is another prank, isn't it?"
I looked around. It didn't seem that there was a prank set up. I realized that this was an actual legit game.
"I'm going this way!" Gilda turned around and did as she said.
"But wait! The poster is this-!" Pinkie tried to tell the griffon, but it was too late.
Gilda slipped all the way straight to the direction of the kitchen, thanks to a spilled frosting on the floor. She went out in a sticky mess. The tail was pinned in her beak.
"Yo, Gilda?" I snickered. "I think you pinned the tail on the wrong end!"
Everypony busted out laughing. Yeah, I'm a savage.
"Thank you! Thank you very much!" I bowed dramatically, which also made them laugh harder and cheer.
I suddenly heard a frightening roar that made me jump up a bit.
"This is your idea of a good time?" Gilda bellowed as she floated. "I have never met a bunch of dweebs in all my life! And Pinkie Pie? You are queen lame-o with your weak little party pranks! Did you really think you and your annoying Pegasus friend can make me lose my cool?"
"But, you already lost your cool." I pointed out.
"Shut your trap or I'll close it for ya!"
I shrugged.
"Dash and I have ten times as much cool as the rest of you put together!"
RD looked displeased when she heard this burn out.
"Come on, Dash. We're bailing on this pathetic scene." Gilda said, but RD didn't move a single step. "Come on, Rainbow Dash! I said we're leaving!"
"You know, Gilda…I was the one who set up those weak pranks at this party." RD spoke up- wait, WHAT?
"What?!" I had the same expression as you, Gilda.
"Ooh…" Pinkie said awkwardly.
Uh oh Spaghetti-O's, she's in trouble!
"So, I guess I'm queen lame-o," RD said with a hint of disappointment at her friend.
"Come on, Dash, you're joshing me…" Gilda laughed weakly.
"They weren't all meant for you specifically. It was just dumb luck that you set them all of." RD shared.
"I should' a known. That dribble cup had Rainbow Dash written all over it." Pinkie commented.
"No way… It was Pinkie Pie and that Pegasus!" Gilda pointed at us stubbornly. "They set up this party to trip me up! To make a fool of me!"
"What? I threw this party to improve your attitude." Pinkie admitted. "I thought a good party would turn that frown upside down."
"And I honestly thought that PP set up all those pranks and I found out her true intention just now. I had nothing to do with this party." I stated my innocence.
"You sure didn't need help making a fool of yourself," Dash said in anger. "You know, this is not how I thought my OLD friend would treat my NEW friends. If being cool is all you care about, maybe you should go find some new cool friends someplace else."
"Oh yeah? " Gilda began stuttering. "You are a flip flop! Cool one minute and lame the next! When you decided not to be lame anymore, give me a call."
She marched her way to the exit, but someone opened the door before her.
She halted. "Get out of my way!"
I looked over her shoulder, and my eyes widened.
She is SO dead.
Gilda roared. "I said, get out of my way!" she looked into his eyes. "Wh-why are you looking at me like that? Hey! Stop it, I'm serious!" I could hear her voice tremble. "Stop staring at me. Stop staring at me!"
Gilda flew away in fright, and there he stood. Rob just used his Stare at her.
"So it's true, huh?" Damn, he look so cool! "I guess the party's over then?"
"Dude!" I galloped my way in front of him. "You used your Stare at her, right?!"
The green Unicorn in front of me rolled his eyes. "I told you to stop calling it that."
"But you did it, didn't you? She sounded so scared!"
Star sighed. "Anyways, I'm sorry, I'm late. I got a little busy with the failed experiment back home, but I heard every word Gilda said."
"Told you!" Pinkie said in a sing-song voice.
"Talk about a party pooper, right?" Spike said to RD, who frowned.
"I'm sorry everypony for bringing Gilda here. I didn't know how rude she was," she turned to Pinkie. "And Pinkie Pie? I'm really sorry she ruined that awesome party you put on for her."
Pinkie smiled. "Hey, if you wanna hang out with party poopers, that's your business."
"I'd rather hang out with you. No hard feelings?"
"No hard feelings."
When they're hooves made contact, they both got electrocuted. Still pranking with each other at the end of the day, huh?
I saw Blast walking towards Pinkie Pie. "Hey, sorry we accused you of being jealous."
"It's ok, Star Blast! Even you can't be a super smart, smartypants like Twilight all the time." She said, accepting the apology.
"Hey! I'm not a know-it-all ALL the time!" Sure you don't, Twilight.
Everypony laughed once again at the situation.
"Come on everypony! There's still a whole lotta' partying to finish!"
And so another problem solved and the day ended again with a celebration. Her parties maybe her daily routine, but somehow it feels a lot different than the other.
I wondered where that Gilda ended up to. I don't know about you guys, but she seems like a tsundere if you ask me. There is still a chance for her to turn good at some point.
Also, where the heck is Hassan? Oh well, I'll just eat that delicious cake to my heart's content!
(Silver's POV)
Hmm…I feel like I'm supposed to go somewhere and I forgot.
(Speedy's POV)
"Dearest Princess Celestia, today I learned that it's hard to accept when somepony you like wants to spend time with somepony who's not so nice. Though it's impossible to control who your friends hang out with, it is possible to control your own behavior. Just continue to be a good friend, and in the end, the difference between a false friend and one who is true will surely come to light. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."
I clapped, "That is a nice letter to Princess Celestia, Twilight. So, can I ask why I am cleaning ALL the books in the freaking library?!"
"Well, earlier you said that I can give you some of my chores to make up for my disastrous chemistry lesson. I know it takes a lot of time, but, simply, you know?"
"But, I thought I was forgiven!"
Twilight picked up a notebook. "I'm sorry, but I realized that the rearrangements will come into conflict with my studies. And I wonder whose fault this is?"
My mouth gaped. "Then tell Rainbow and Pinkie to also do it! And they were the ones who started this thing in the first place!"
"I suppose, but after the events back in Sugarcube Corner, I thought that they deserve a little break. I already talked to Star Blast to not lend a hoof while you work."
I groaned, "This is so unfair. Fine."
"Great! I expect the books to be dusted, arranged by topic, and in alphabetical order once you're done."
"Yes, Twilight..."
Me and my BIG mouth…
Author's Note!
FINALLY! I. AM. BACK!
Sorry it took so long, people! Now, I need to remind myself to write a thousand words per day in a chapter to really get it going.
Lemeul Adams a.k.a Speedy Glee finally made his narrating debut, with a small one from Hassan a.k.a Silver Spur. He'll get some more in the future chapters obviously.
Hope you all liked it! As always, Fav it! Follow it! Review and tell me what you think!
Until the next chapter! – Super Bright Brat
DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT MY THREE OC'S!
