The truck's engine cut off as Theo turned the key, leaving him to sit in silence, eyes glued to the gray front of 821 Williamson Road. Sighing, he dropped his hands to his lap, the back of his head smacking back into the headrest. A knot of dread had tied itself thoroughly in his gut early that morning, and had been writhing more and more the closer he got to the McCall house.
News of his lack of housing had apparently gotten around, courtesy of a certain beta he wanted to throttle at the moment. He had been doing just fine on his own. Odd jobs around town kept gas in his tank and gas station food was cheap. The pack's charity was better spent on someone that needed it, someone that actually deserved it. All his points had fallen on deaf ears as light peaked into the lake house kitchen as Scott informed he had three options as far as where to stay. The alpha's house was the only one he had been willing to consider, even though the thought of running into Melissa still made his heart beat faster.
The woman was as much a wolf as her son, fierce and protective to a fault, and he had threatened her child — worse than that, he actually killed him. Under no circumstances, even three years later, did he want to be alone with her. If anyone in the pack was still willing to kill him in the blink of an eye, it would be her or Malia. Both women were still, rightfully, angry. He used to smell it on them all the time.
A flicker in the rearview mirror caught his eye. Theo turned his head, glancing into the back seat, a furrow deeping between his eyebrows. Nothing was there. He almost shrugged, starting to twist back to the front when a chill settled throughout the cab. His breathing stuttered, air catching in his tightening trachea, as he froze, partway to facing forward and partly stuck looking at the empty back seat. The slow drip of water landing on his neck breaks the spell.
He flung himself back, throwing an arm out behind him, elbow narrowly missing the horn, scrambling to get the door open without looking away from the empty seats. The lack of grace as he spilled out of the truck, chest heaving, would have embarrassed him if fear had any less of a hold on him. As it was, he stepped back from the vehicle, every inch of him cold and shaking and tensed, ready to run.
Despite the goosebumps pebbling to life across his body as he stood stock still on the sidewalk, the November breeze was warm against the bare skin of his arms. Another shudder rippled down his spine, clacking his teeth together. The sunlight filtering through the sparse clouds burned by comparison as it melted away whatever was anchoring him to the concrete.
His feet barely lifted as he shuffled closer to the truck, hand stretching out as far as he could to pry open the handle. The pop of the latch releasing made him flinch, half expecting an inhuman corpse to spill out as he gingerly opened the door. His head was swimming, a haziness creeping through his thoughts as he stumbled forward, catching himself on the door frame. Belatedly, he realized how fast his shoulders were rising and falling with his shallow breaths.
"Fuck," he hissed, fingers clenching around the metal, knuckles blanching.
The rough edges dug into his skin as he shut his eyes, focusing on the pulsing of his blood through his iron grip. His ensuing deep breath failed to do much other than shudder out of him, resulting in his jaw stiffening and his fingers tightening, the pressure against his skin just shy of breaking through. He tried again, inhaling through his nose and letting it out the same way. The sharp thumping in his fingers and bite of the metal threatening to slide through his skin his main tether, keeping him grounded. His breathing slowed, allowing oxygen to percolate through his body, alleviating the tingling in his head.
When his eyes opened, he lingered, ignoring how his hands were near cramping from the strength of their hold on the doorframe, simply staring. The seats were empty, devoid of any sign the vehicle belonged to a young adult, save for his duffle. He twisted his head, tucking his chin to the juncture of his shoulder and neck, eyes squeezing shut briefly.
The shadows were still. No one was there.
He wrenched a hand from the frame, snapping at the bag, closing around the handle and ripping it from the floorboard, a wordless snarl twisting across his features. The cold from inside the truck had seeped into his duffle and filtered into his palm and fingers, numbing them as he spun away, slamming the door shut in the process.
"It's not real," he whispered, barely moving his lips or giving any air to the words.
Logic dictated he was safe, up top, far far beyond her reach. She was stuck there, not just because she was dead but with her body burned and ashes scattered there was no way anyone could bring her back. All he needed was sleep and she would leave him alone again. A good solid sleep.
He huffed, walking to the house, "Like that's gonna happen."
Pigs would fly before he had a peaceful night's sleep, he was sure of it. He had thought the nightmares from Hell were the worst punishment life could give him, but the new ones seemed intent on proving it wrong. A jolt from his stomach had him shaking his head, shoving away the frigid memory, focusing instead on climbing the stairs.
Decidedly ignoring the lingering chill and shudder wracking through him, he raised a hand and knocked firmly. Where once he would have counted the heartbeats beyond the door or picked apart the scents lining the drive and porch for any chemosignals, he simply stood.
A renewed grimace took residence on his face as he shifted back a step, clutching tighter at his duffle bag. The lake house had been hard enough to navigate the couple weeks without his senses, he was the opposite of ready to face living in the pack's central hub. The puppies were always coming and going, checking in with Melissa and Argent even if Scott was off at school. Stilinski even stopped by regularly, Parrish in tow. Too many people he had zero competence reading off hand beyond the typical, too many variables, too many ways he could fuck up…
"Theo," someone mumbled, their voice too soft.
He backed up, shaking his head, eyes scrunching partly shut, words gearing up to flow out, a smooth cover for his spaciness.
An icy bolt shot through his gut as a strangled whisper echoed around him, "Theooo…"
His eyes snapped open and up to meet Isaac's. The wolf's face was riddled with confusion, mouth opening, likely about to ask if he was okay. For the briefest of second, Theo wondered if someone else finally heard her, if he hadn't been imaging her. In the next heartbeat, he shook the thought away, softening his eyes and jaw, relaxing the whole of his face as best he could to try and mimic a relaxed expression.
"I'm fine," he mumbled, stepping back up to the door.
The quirk in the tall wolf's brow line as he swept his arm out, making room for Theo to enter, was impressive, conveying a total absence of belief. Much to his relief, Isaac stayed quiet as he passed, moving carefully around to his other side, eyes sweeping over the foyer, living room, and kitchen.
"Where is everyone?" Theo asked, glancing over his shoulder.
"Figured you wouldn't want a welcome wagon," was the extent of Isaac's reply.
Theo nodded, focusing on keeping his face schooled to neutral as a wave of gratitude radiated from his core. The ball of nerves that had been bouncing around his rib cage not a minute earlier, settled, unwinding itself the slightest bit at the kind gesture. They didn't owe him any consideration, or comfort, or anything they were doing for that matter. He would have been fine. Eventually. Probably.
"Thanks," he mumbled, half-turning back to look at him.
Not a muscle in his face twitched or shifted as Isaac shrugged, a nonchalant air about him. Once again, he was slapped in the face with the pack's overt level of too good for him. Each and every one of the idiots in it would probably have reacted the same way, as though him staying with their alpha was no big deal. Theo's gut twisted, almost hard enough to break the stoic lines of his carefully crafted face.
Isaac chose that moment to step around him, hand waving behind as he took the stairs two at a time. Not so quiet mumbles echoed down no sooner than his fluffy mop of hair disappeared over the landing. A soft smile broke Theo's mask, gentle and getting a little too close to fond as he listened. Most easily recognizable was Scott's voice, the warmest of the bunch, especially compared to Stiles' impatient huffing and Isaac's slow rumble. That he could hear them at all was yet another act of kindness on their part. They all knew how to be quieter, almost disappearing into the background and imperceptible, and he knew it.
He shifted his grip on the duffle bag, taking a breath, replacing the neutral layers on his features. Rocks shifted in his stomach, little tendrils of doubt and fear bursting as they clacked against one another. Receiving help was a foreign concept, and at the moment he was drowning in it, with more being heaped on by the second.
A shudder ran through him, knocking off the mask again as his face scrunched.
"Theooo…" Tara called out again, her voice a raspy whispered gurgling.
His feet hit the steps before he registered the sudden chill creeping up his back. As if catapulted, he flew up the stairs two at a time, as Isaac had but with significantly less grace. All three heads snapped to him when he hit the landing, surely watching his shoulders heaving if the confused expressions meant anything. Every hair on the back of his neck was upright, an intense prickle shooting out, nearly curling him in on himself.
Scott was the first to move, his frown taking up half his face. The alpha shuffled forward, one hand behind him, telling the other two to stay, and the other stretched towards Theo.
His voice shook, uncertainty creeping through it, "If you're not comfortable staying here, we can-"
Theo's mask cracked as he snarled, "I'm fine."
He almost regretted the bite in his words as Scott flinched. All the guy had been trying to do was show he cared, a simple thing that came as innately to him as breathing. The rocks in Theo's stomach shifted again, a new clattering into the pile as he swallowed back the bile rising in his throat. This was exactly why he stayed away from everyone, why he was perfectly happy in his truck.
"I'm good, promise," he sighed, dropping his head an inch. "Just not used to…"
"Good things," Isaac finished for him.
Theo's nod was slow, a light heat rising to his cheeks as his guts rolled. For once, his lack of heightened senses seemed to be a blessing. No way he would have been able to stop himself from scrunching his nose at the sadness rolling off all of them. Even without being able to smell it, his mouth contorted, a sharp stab of guilt hitting him in the gut the longer he lingered on their faces.
So, he dropped his eyes to the floor, shrinking into himself. Just a little longer, he promised himself, taking a deep breath, forcing his pulse to slow, trying his best to keep himself together.
"He- Theo, it's, you're fi- This, this is your room," Scott settled on, a strained pitch lingering in his voice.
The squeak of a knob as it turned drew Theo's attention. He lifted his head as the trio backed up. Not needing further invitation, he beelined for the room, avoiding eye contact as he bypassed both Isaac and Stiles. A chilling hiss followed him as he stepped into the room, spiking his pulse and constricting his chest.
Theo stalled in the doorway, eyes flicking every which way, pulled by the shadows dancing in his peripherals that stilled as soon as he looked at them. The same chill that had invaded the truck swamped over the room, sucking the air from his lungs.
Without preamble or pretense, he flung out an arm, fingers scrambling to curl around the wooden edge. Once he had a hold of it, he backed up, pressing the flat of his spine into it, effectively slamming it shut. The solid weight against his back held him upright as tremors took over his body. His chest was heaving again, refusing to settle or slow as his neck continued to prickle.
A bitter chuckling sigh slid from him as he scrunched his eyes shut. His knees wobbled, threatening to cave beneath him, to betray him, as surely as his chemosignals were. He could only imagine how potent they were, how confused they were leaving the two wolves outside his door. If they hadn't been worried about his sanity before, they most certainly were now.
Theo fumbled for the lock beside him, finally flicking it closed as his body sank to the floor. A singular deep sigh of relief floods from him as three sets of footsteps retreat from the door, understanding the clear as day message that he was done talking. The cold around him intensified, sucking the heat from him, his breath steaming in front of his eyes as panic renewed its grip on his insides.
"It's not real," he repeated, quiet as he could manage with how shaky his voice was. "She's not here. It's. Not. Real."
His teeth ground against each other, the whole of his body tensing as he took several rhythmic breaths. Getting off the floor was going to be easier said than done. Numb, shaking legs were ill-suited to hold weight, but he was fresh out of other options, unless he wanted to sleep on the floor. Considering it only for a moment, he shook his head, letting his breath roll out of him, a little bit of a growl seeping into it.
He reached his hand up, blindly tapping the door, searching for the handle. Once the cool metal was in his hand, he levered himself up, pushing off the floor as best he could while hauling his torso up the door with his one arm. For the first time, he truly looked around the space. It was much the same as the lake house bedroom, in that it had a bed, dresser, desk and chair, and probably infrequently used, judging by the layer of dust that covered everything.
Regardless, a small smile curled at the edges of his lips as he took in the bed. An outline of the headboard was sun-stained on the long wall, but the whole frame now pressed up against it. It had to have been moved recently. The likelihood it had been set up for him was exceedingly high, knowing the True Alpha.
After a second or two, his focus locked onto the window. Kicking off his shoes, he takes another set of deep rhythmic breaths, shuttling as much energy throughout his freezing, exhausted body as he could. If he was going to be stuck inside of Scott's house, tormented by the endless sound of dripping water and his sister freezing him to death, he was at least going to air out the damn room. He stumbled his way toward the window, nearly face planting into the carpet twice before he fell into the radiator, scrabbling for purchase on the sill.
With a triumphant grunt, Theo reached for the lock, only struggling with it for a second before sagging with relief. He grabbed the handle with his other hand and jerked the window open. The burst of air was superbly warm, pulling a sigh of relief from his chest as he turned around, bracing himself on the radiator.
"Theooo," Tara's voice echoed around the room, bouncing from shadow to shadow until she finally emerged herself.
Even fully in control of himself, Theo doubted he would have been able to hide the vicious spike in his pulse as she stepped out of the room's far corner. Her whispers continued echoing around the room. He winced as his heart kept hammering at his ribs, knowing the erratic spiking and falling of his heartbeat was likely freaking out the wolves. Guilty as he was, there was nothing he could do about it. Tara had every right to haunt him.
The worst part of losing his connection to his animals was losing control over himself. As much as it was for the best, he couldn't help the twinge of frustration building in him. There was so much of himself he kept tucked inside, hidden in vaults tucked away behind wall after wall, away from anyone and everyone. Tara was but one thing. How long would it be until they confronted him about his erratic heartbeat? Until someone wondered why he randomly smelled like death and fear? There was no hiding those things anymore. His rapid-fire heartbeat was open knowledge. His chemosignals were on full blast, every hour of every day.
He hung his head, a tight knot of shame tangled in his chest, strangling his lungs. If he didn't get some modicum of control over himself, it would not be long before Scott or Isaac was bursting through his door. The steady drip drip drip of water trailing behind Tara as she crept towards him increased in volume.
"I'm sorry," he said, shoulders curling in, too cold to pretend otherwise as he pushed off the sill and somehow twisted himself onto the bed.
He closed his eyes, sinking into the mattress, electing to ignore the fact that he was still wearing jeans and his shirt. There was no energy left anywhere for him to remove the garments or fish for his sleep shorts in the bag by the door. Besides, the chances of him actually falling asleep for longer than five or ten minutes were close to nil.
"I need it back, Theooo…"
The prospect of sleep was marginally better than his current predicament, so he pulled the covers up to his shoulders, trying to shake off the cold clinging to his bones, teeth chattering as he exhaled. Theo gritted his teeth against the wetness spreading over his head and shoulders as her fingers trail over his skin. He just had to make it through the night.
By some miracle, between Tara's unending whispering and his body trembling from the chills, a sweet darkness started to claim his eyes, shutting his lids for him.
Tomorrow would be better; ever since Liam, it always was.
—
Theo stumbled through a doorway, hands slamming out to the side, stopping his momentum before it carried him to the ground. He blinked, looking around. The bland, off-white walls and hallway lined with art belonged to the lake house. A confused huff and glance over his shoulder later and he was off, slowly moving down the hall.
The mustiness from the carpet mingled oddly with the stink of cedar from the woods outside. A familiar spiced scent hit him, notes of copper and sulfur tangled within it. His brows furrowed. What was Liam so furious about? He picked up the pace, jogging to the end of the hall, pausing only briefly to figure out which direction to turn. How was his scent equally strong in both directions?
He shook his head, a confused whine building in his chest, sliding out easily. Teeth pinched the skin of his forearm. Theo spun around, eyes widening as the coyote snarled at him.
"No, you're… you're gone," Theo stammered, backing up, trying to put space between them. "You don't exist anymore."
The beast's lips seemed to curl as they pulled back in a deranged approximation of a smile. Ice shot through Theo's blood, the sickening crunching and cracking of Tara crawling out of the pit somewhere behind the canid. Fear flooded the air. There was no holding it back, not when it slammed out of him like a tsunami.
"You selfish bastard," Liam growled, appearing out of nowhere, shoving Theo into the wall.
Claws dug into shoulders as the wolf grabbed him and levered him up against the wall till his toes barely touched the ground. A guttural scream ripped from Theo, dragging on and on, till his throat was sore and raw.
"You're just another problem we have to manage, another thing to distract us from keeping everyone safe." Liam's fists curled tighter, forcing his claws deeper into Theo as he leaned in close, breath ghosting over his skin, sneering, "I should've left you in the ground."
All the fight drained from him as he looked into Liam's eyes. The stormy blue was ice cold, as frigid as Tara's corpse, and sharper than his claws as anger glinted in them. Gone was the light and happiness he always found buried somewhere in the depths, and he was responsible for it.
Liam's sneer dropped to a furious scowl as he stepped away from Theo, claws retracting and hands releasing their iron hold. He fell to the ground in a heap, a pained grunt slipping out on instinct. The chemosignals swimming around him were thick, drenched with rage and pain and fury. His head ached with the intensity of it all.
"Liam, please, I'm sorry," he coughed out, lungs too tight to let much air in.
He lifted his head, ignoring how the world swam around him, stomach lurching, only for his eyes to go wide again as soon he could focus them on the silhouette standing in front of him. The beta was in his full beta shift, eyes glowing and raw from rage beneath the thick brow ridge, Kira's sword glinting in his hand. Terror rocketed through Theo, pushing him shakily to his feet.
"No," he gasped, eyes flicking between the sword and Liam's face. "Nonono, I, I didn't mean- Liam, please , don't! I-I can't, I can't go back!"
"Too late," the wolf snarled, jamming the sword into the ground.
Theo crumpled back to the ground, not even blinking when he just kept falling, the earth having opened up yet again to swallow him. There was nothing left in him that cared.
The one person who saw good in him was gone; his golden, guardian angel turned against him. The sun that burned and burned and burned with unwavering, lethal loyalty to those he loved, had finally gotten a good look at the dark side of his moon and turned away, horrified by what he saw.
Metallic ringing flooded his ears as he slammed face-first into a body-locker. He scrambled back, shoulders screaming in time with his now bleeding, and broken, nose. The morgue is a familiar sight, but it does nothing to quell the panic rising in him. Antiseptic flooded his nose, somehow covering the stench of death he knew had permanently etched itself into the room.
He spun himself around, grunting triumphantly as he found the door and ran to it, bursting into the hospital hallway. Which way he turned didn't matter so much as the fact that he dug into the deepest part of himself and actually got moving. His feet slapped against the ground, echoing in the eerily quiet hall. He didn't bother looking over his shoulder, he knew by the crunching and cracking and rush of running water hot on his heels that Tara was steadily inching closer.
When paws hit his back and teeth dug into his already ripped open shoulder, he screamed, toppling to the ground. The coyote released his shoulder, yipping and howling in excitement, claws shredding the skin of his back in the process of expressing its elation.
" Theooo, time to pay. It's time to pay," she rasped, scurrying up behind him.
The coyote stepped off just long enough for him to flip over, its paws planting firmly over the still oozing claw marks in his shoulder and pressing its whole weight onto them. Beside it, her bones and body broken and contorted, water dripping from her soaked hair and clothes, was Tara. She took a step closer, head rotating all the way till her chin was towards the ceiling.
" Time, Theooo. Time's up, pay up," her corpse's smile contradicting the gravely anger in her voice.
Frothy saliva fell from the coyote's gaping mouth as it lowered its face to Theo's brushing its bared teeth over his cheek. The cursed smile on his sister's face twisted, widening.
"It's alright," Theo panted, his eyes closing. "Take it. You don't have to stop."
He let his head thunk back onto the floor, waiting for the pain, readying to be back in the morgue yet again. Everything the last few days was just a blessed break in the torment, a tease, a too good to be true dream he somehow fell into.
A sharp wail ripped his eyes open. Something warm and wet gushed over his chest, drenching his shirt instantly. He expected the explosion of pain as Tara's hand went through his ribs, reclaiming what was rightfully hers. The sight of her arm sticking through the coyote's, its heart in her hand, drove a wild shriek from his lips.
—
Panic. Fear. Pain.
Theo's eyes clamped shut, the wild shriek from his dream continuing, dragging out of him as more of a sharp whine. He flailed against the blanket, trying to kick it off, but his body wasn't listening, at least not entirely. Everything felt wrong, weird, like moving through Jell-o. He shook his head, reaching to his face, trying to dig his fingers into his scalp, but they won't work, won't bend.
Snarling, he tried to sit up, contracting his abdomen to roll up as always, but again he just ended up flailing. The momentum carried him sideways, toppling him off the bed with a thump. Where he expected his knees to hurt, there was nothing. He forced open his eyes, blinking heavily before turning his head. A renewed shriek ripped from him at the sight of black fur.
His paws scrambled uselessly at the hardwood as he flung himself to his feet repeatedly, only to slip and end up back on the ground. Eventually, he managed enough of a grip that he stayed standing. Every ounce of him was shaking, head to tail, every single hair.
This was impossible. Not only were they gone , he had only ever full-shifted into a wolf. The coyote had never shown any interest in playing that game. Why now? A panicked squeal pressed out through his tight throat. Scott . It wanted his power or his death, just as it had before. He shrank back, head curling around to his side, eyes shut tight. The whole pack was in danger, again, because of him, because he stayed.
With a snarl on his lips and growl in his chest, he jerked his head up, spinning in a couple tight circles. Snapping at the air, he shook out his body, trying to dislodge the itching beneath his skin, to settle it back onto his bones properly.
His whole body swayed from the forceful shake he gave his head, ears pinning to his skull with a snarl. Every hair on his body was stuck straight up, the itching beneath his skin driving him insane. He lurched sideways, snapping at the air, trying to release the tension still piling into his body.
The curtains ruffled, displaced by the breeze crawling through the open window. Without a blink, he launched towards it, clearing the distance in a single breath, and leaping out of it. His paws hit the ground with a crunch, but he ignored it. He dug into the ground, surging forward, stride eating up the ground.
Thankfully, the moon was still up, night blanketing the streets, letting him blend in effortlessly as he moved through the shadows.
It didn't matter where he went, just that he did. Being so close to Scott was dangerous. The coyote could snap at any second, throw him in the back seat and rampage all through the city, taking the alpha with him in the process. A trap set by his sister, no doubt. Why else would he be in Scott's house? The alpha knew better than to trust him. There was no way he would let him stay there, that he would be welcome there.
So he ran and ran, and for good measure ran some more. Streets blurred past him, some familiar but most significantly less so. He avoided running through Beacon Hills proper most days, but this seemed to be the exception. His legs ached as much as his paws burned. The coyote was nowhere near as conditioned to run as the wolf.
It never came out before, not like this.
With a snarl on his lips and growl in his chest, he jerked to a stop, spinning in a couple tight circles. Snapping at the air, he shook out his body, trying to dislodge the itching beneath his skin, to settle it back onto his bones properly.
A loud horn blared, drowning his ears, rattling his brain in his skull with the force of it. Theo's ears flattened to his skull in the same breath as his eyes snapped open.
Lights bore down on him, blindingly bright. Despite the burning, he couldn't look away, or move. The screeching of rubber on asphalt cut through the honking, but still, even as the car's license plate came into focus beneath the headlights, he couldn't make his body move. Only when the stink of burning rubber finally shook him loose.
He leapt to the side, diving between two parked cars. The whoosh of air buffeted his fur as the one on the road blew past. Every inch of him was cold. Not from the night chill, but something deeper, something reaching through his veins. Icicles dug into his ribs, curling around the bones as fingers would close around a throat.
He shrank bank, whining and whimpering, head shaking viciously side. They were gone, impaled on claws and burned to a crisp. The stink of chemical heavy smoke rushed him, flooding his nose, making him gag and choke on the clean air biting at his lungs. The Doctors were nothing but ashes now, ashes and dust, unable to cause any harm or pain or death again. Except through him. He was still their weapon, the gun they forged and wielded with impunity. More blood was on his hands than the whole of the McCall Pack, including crazy Uncle Peter and Argent.
A broken, hollow huff fell from his gaping maw. His sides shook with the shudders that ran through him, forcing more of the ghost-like sounds out. He didn't have a chance at belonging. Not here. Not with these people. This town had enough demons writhing in the shadows, it didn't need someone like him, someone whose only talent was creating more, to stick around. It really didn't.
Ocean blue eyes swam through his head, making him wince, pushing a quiet whimper from him. The beta thought differently. His whole stink up at the lake house was evidence enough of how deeply he felt about Theo leaving. It didn't make sense. Liam, more than anyone, should want him gone. He used the beta, manipulated his anger and twisted it to serve his own selfish purpose. Realistically, nothing Theo had done since should have been enough to outweigh all that. It should have been unforgivable.
Yet, the blond had come after him, fought for him in more ways than one, and was dead set on fixing Theo, on getting him to stay. The edges of his lips twitched, a reflexive snarl at the tightness in his chest and the shaking taking over his limbs and body. Leaving was the safest plan, the one where the fewest people died and he got to stay above ground, walking, talking, breathing, alive. It had always been the plan to leave. Get a power, get a pack, and book it.
None of that particular plan had been very successful. Especially the leaving. It wasn't for lack of trying, because he had tried. Dozens upon dozens of times, actually.
First, after Stiles goaded him about being the Doctor's lap dog just days before the human left for Quantico. Then after a bad nightmare that had led him to the bridge. The first time any of the puppies had so much as smiled at him or gotten into his truck and promptly passed out as he drove them, and so many other times…
Every single time he got into his truck, threw it in drive and bolted east, flooring it, pushing the vehicle to its limits. Hard as he tried to leave, every time he tried, something made him turn around. At first, he slammed on the brakes as the " Welcome to Beacon County " showed up in his rear view mirror. His hands shook for hours after the first time he turned around, and Tara had come back with a vengeance. After that, he never got farther than the " Leaving Beacon Hills " sign.
He shot backward, full on snarling at the ghost of a touch tingled down his spine, turning his skin inside out and back again, leaving moisture clinging to him beneath his fur. She was always dripping wet and ice cold, and every time she touched him, he was back at that damned bridge.
Theo tiptoed away from the street, eyes stuck to it. He jumped as something brushed his haunches, whirling around, snarl already in place, ready to tear whoever it was to pieces. The fury died as fast as it sparked to life, finding only a garden gnome to blame. His lips twitched as he shook himself out, resettling his fur. Glancing quickly side to side, he zeroed in on a nearby porch, leaping onto it, huddling in the shadow of its decorative pillar, still eyeing the street.
The longer he stood there, attention fixated on the now dead silent pavement, the more his legs shook. With a sigh, he let them collapse beneath him. His breathing was still quick, but each breath was longer than the last, oxygen slowly suffusing his body once more. He should get up, keep running, put more distance between him and Tara, but not a single one of his muscles listened.
Even lifting his head off the rough wooden floor seemed too large of a task. Some survivalist he turned out to be. A groaning huff puffed through his relaxed lips. At least this time, he was outside the damn hospital.
His eyes slid shut again, though he kept his ears trained every which way. Birdsongs rose above the rumbles of engines, melding with closing car doors two streets down, the shuffle of trash cans, barking dogs… A soft crooning rumble drifted from him, hardly even a noise with how little volume it had, mirroring the tranquility within the neighborhood as it slowly crept closer and closer to wakefulness and he drifted to sleep.
—
A warmth spread through him, slowly rousing Theo from his dreamless sleep. His maw parted, a loud yawn squeaking out of him before it clacked shut. Gentle noises from the neighborhood filtered in, more or less the same as they were before. The scent of day had replaced the chilled essence of nighttime and brought a delicious spiced note to the surroundings.
"Theo."
The voice cut through the remainder of his sleep-addled lull, snapping him to full attention. He shot to his feet, recoiling from whoever it was with a snarl, ears flat to his skull. A deep warning chitter sprang from his chest as he glared at the man kneeling in front of him, cutting off his exits.
Movement at his side sent Theo skittering to the side, snapping instinctively at whatever had moved. Teeth connected with soft skin, breaking through, spilling blood over his tongue. As the arm tugged away, a litany of expletives and groans of pain following, the soft spice smell and warmth clicked.
Liam.
He shrieked recoiling again, cowering. His pulse spiked and fear flooded from him. Liam's mouth is moving, his hands making hurried gestures, but Theo was moving, darting past him on his injured side, before he could figure out if they were meant to calm or retaliatory.
Pavement disappeared under his feet as he ran, pushing his legs to pump faster and stretch farther, needing to cover more ground than the beta. He had to put distance, to get away, to leave. A pit in his stomach said he wouldn't get the chance. The two big rules were don't kill anyone and don't hurt the pack, which he just broke. Dangerous things weren't supposed to get second chances, or third ones. Four would be asking for a miracle from something he didn't believe in.
Rough cement and asphalt gave way to the crunch of the forest floor as he blasted past the Preserve boundary. A broken whine reverberated through his chest, surging into a short, sharp howl as he veered to the right, feet finding their way to an unmarked path. Having walked it a hundred times, both on two legs or four, he didn't bother to slow down. Rather, he charged forward harder.
Clean, woodsy air soured, a foul stench mingling with it, turning his stomach the same way it had since they made the sewers his home. It wasn't long before the winding tunnels spanned before him, twisting and turning. The dozens and dozens of dead ends made it a maze, one people could easily disappear into and never be found again.
A barking chuff echoed as he rounded a corner, dropping to a weary walk. He hadn't meant to find his way back to this particular dead-end, but it was oh so fitting. The ground was flat, hole magically filled back in, but cracks where the sword had jammed into the earth, ripping it open, remained.
This was the perfect labyrinth to contain a monster like him.
"Theo?"
He froze, hackles raised, one paw off the ground, as Liam's voice echoed down the tunnels. His head whipped back and forth, a sharp keening whine filling the space immediately around him. The beta wasn't supposed to be here. Didn't he understand? His chest shook with the growl that rose within it. He was dangerous, as much as the idiot of a werewolf refused to believe it, he was. Dangerous and out of control. A liability. A threat.
The familiar shadow grew larger, splashing footsteps signaling his imminent approach, sending icicles through his veins. Distance was the only protection he could give the beta anymore, and he was refusing it, trampling all over Theo's sacrifices and attempts at safeguarding the one precious thing in his life.
As the blonde rounded the corner, he snarled, lowering his head and backing further into the corner, half-obscuring himself behind the pipes. The stormy blue eyes that met his were wide, fear and concern swirling around him like a hurricane.
"Theo," he sighed, shoulders and expression softening with relief.
The answering, re-doubled snarl did nothing. Liam didn't even flinch. Instead he started walking further into the tunnel, closing the gap between them. Theo scrambled farther back, his growl pitching up into a shriek-like whimper, ears flattening to his skull. That stilled the wolf, deep furrows forming in his brow-line.
"What's up with you?" He asked.
Theo shook his head, shutting his eyes. He couldn't stand the look Liam was giving him. It was too fond, too close to soft and warm and gentle and all the other things he absolutely did not deserve. Broken, twisted, murderous things were supposed to be kept at arm's length, never to be trusted, never to be loved or let back in. He was a menace, a danger, a monster.
His whines grew louder, ricocheting off the concrete walls to create a wailing loop of his misery. This was where he belonged, far away from people, removed from all the things he could hurt. Well, almost all of them. It would be all if Liam would just do the smart thing and leave him alone. He opened his eyes again, meeting the beta's and growled, loud and low. It was a warning with no room to misinterpret it as his lips peeled back, showing his teeth.
"I'm not leaving you here," Liam said firmly, crossing his arms.
Theo narrowed his eyes, snarl deepening as he lifted more of his lips and dropped his head another inch, shifting his weight as though he were readying to leap at him. It was an empty threat, a bluff. There was no universe he could hurt Liam in, not voluntarily at least. The way the beta was holding his stare, he knew it too. With a huff, he lowered his lips, rigid tail following suit. His ears stayed pinned.
The smile Liam let stretch his features made Theo's chest ache. His quiet whine, tight with frustration, wiped it away, and he almost regretted letting the sound out. Just another example of how he was failing the pack and its kind hearted beta. All he did was hurt or maim or destroy. Nothing good lasted long around him, and Liam would be no exception.
His head fell, nose brushing the moist floor. Twice it had cracked open, once to swallow him and again to spit him back out. It was the start of all his problems, the first place the coyote got shoved back out of the driver's seat, leaving him to face his sister's wrath.
"They're not putting you back." Liam said it with such certainty, an edge that would have cut anyone that tried to argue with him to ribbons.
Theo's breath is stuck in his throat again, trapped behind yet another lump that refuses to move. He tensed, every last muscle coiled beneath his skin, ready to run or fight, the perfect statue. Still as his outward appearance is, the cyclone of fear, guilt, and confusion raged on in his head. How did he know? There was no way he could have known what was going on in his head, what he was thinking.
"I won't let them. Ever," Liam growled, eyes flashing as he knelt, putting their eyes on the same level. "You're not going anywhere, I promise. The only way they put you back in the ground is over my dead body."
The whine that escaped him was loud and piercing, leaving a ringing even in his own ears. He shook his head, both to rid himself of the ringing and to shove away the inklings of warmth riggling their way into him.
Theo stepped to the side, turning his head away, nosing at the ground again. No one would doubt the beta's ferocity or conviction, but he had no way of enforcing those words. He was a beta, one of many, an underling. Scott might listen to others, but ultimately leaving him out and about was his decision, and he had already proved he was willing to make it.
A shorter, much quieter whimpering whine pulled its way out of his chest as he looked back to Liam, pleading with his eyes for him to reconsider, to understand that he was not worth everything that Liam was laying on the line. He was a defunct toy, broken straight off the line with a zero probability of ever functioning as intended, and that was okay. That was just his lot in life. Liam deserved better. He deserved the best.
The beta shook his head, shoulders slumping forward with a sigh. Sour sadness leached into the air, almost pungent enough to drown out the ever present putrescence of the tunnels. Theo let out another whine, creeping a step toward where the blonde was kneeling.
"You think you're unimportant, that you don't matter and the pack will throw you away the first chance we get, but you're dead wrong." Liam frowns, voice thick with emotion, eyes brimming with unshed tears. "You do. To me , you matter. You're…"
He stopped, throat visibly constricting around the words. The fluffy blond mop on his head bounced as he swung his head back and forth, biting roughly at his lip, clearly thinking over his words with care. Uncertainty punctuated the worry rolling through the dense air. A frustrated groan punched through whatever lump had settled in his trachea, as Theo was starting to shrink back again.
Liam inhaled, eyes sharp and focused on him, voice steady, "You're my anchor, okay? So even if you won't trust that they care about you, trust that they care about me, and how quickly I'd follow you down there." He took a deep breath, wiping at the tears that rolled out the corner of his eyes. "I'll be damned if anyone takes you away again."
One second, Theo was frozen, paws rooted to the ground so solidly he doubted he ever would move again, and the next he was sprinting to close the distance between them, leaping into Liam, burrowing his head into the warm, strong chest. A shuddering whine reverberates through him, leaving him shaking. Liam's hands are running through his fur, reaching down, somehow past the skin and everything physical, and pulling him back into his body.
A steady stream of " I got you. You're safe. You're okay. " poured from above him, drenching him down to the bone. The shaking grew, as did the sharpness of the whimpers and whines that tumbled from him freely.
—
When the pops and cracking of reshaping bone and sinew echo fill the air, Liam was anything but prepared. He knew how painful and freeing the shift was, but feeling the coarse coat of the coyote recede and bone shift beneath the skin had his stomach twisting and flipping. Still, when everything settled, and Theo went limp in his hold, he tightened his arms, pulling the man closer.
The shaking continued, worsening when a stale trickle of air dragged over them. Liam sat back, unzipping his jacket as fast as possible, gently ssshing Theo as his shoulders shook harder and his garbled, tear-filled mumbles intensified. He slid his arms from the sleeves, wrenching it around with one hand as soon as it was off, flinging it over the chimera, covering him as best as he could. Only then did he circle his arms around Theo again, hugging him even tighter.
Sobs wracked the chimera's body, shaking Liam with the force of them, but his embrace remained firm. His gentle words never stopped, flowing in a steady stream, repeating over and over, even as Theo grabbed onto him with bruising force, holding on as though he was the only thing keeping him on solid ground.
"I've got you," Liam whispered into his hair, tucking the other's face into the side of his neck. "It's alright. I've always got you."
He lost track of how long he had been sitting in the cold, damp, and still disturbing sewers, but he honestly didn't care. He would sit there as long as Theo needed him to. With a soft smile, he looked down at the puddle of a person in his arms. The myriad of forces rippling through him seemed to have lessened, ragged, gasping sobs had turned to sniffles and muffled whines under his breath. Liam kept his hold steady, gently rocking them, repeating what was becoming their mantra.
Not long after, soft snores met his ears instead of whimpers.
Liam looked down, a weary smile on his face that didn't reach his eyes. The man in his arms was confusing and broken beyond belief, but he was so much more than he believed himself to be. There was so much good in him, if only he stopped worrying about whether it was real or not.
He dropped his head, craning his neck to brush his nose over Theo's neck. The steady pulse and calm scent made his wolf rumble contentedly. A shudder ran through him, the last of the fear that had lodged itself between his ribs six months ago releasing.
Finally, he could breathe .
His arms, wrapped tightly and securely around the chimera's sleeping frame, loosened, just enough to carefully shift his left beneath Theo's knees. It was a miracle he had fallen asleep at all, let alone fallen asleep in his arms, but this was no place to rest. Even after bringing him back, this tunnel always came off as sinister, something about it rubbing the wolf the wrong way, and he couldn't imagine it was any different for the man who had been sent to and brought back from Hell in it.
Standing was difficult, given his arms were full of a sleeping chimera, but somehow he managed it without jostling his precious cargo too much. A pang of guilt stabbed at his chest as he looked down at Theo's sleep slack face. How exhausted did he have to be to still be passed out? Normally any sound or shift had him jolting awake. He shook his head, starting out of the tunnel.
The guilt clung to him as he walked, moving quickly through the tunnels, following their scent trail out. He had to do better. He owed Theo that much, even if the chimera would deny it to their dying days. The only reason he was Fallon's plaything was because of Liam, and he fell even farther under her thrall than he should have because the idiot was protecting him.
He stifled a snarl, swallowing it back and relaxing his hands, letting the itching in his nailbeds subside. Waking him up was the exact opposite of doing better. He took a deep breath, letting his head drop down, nose skirting over Theo's skin again, drinking up the softness of the decaying forest.
After one more turn, the tunnel opened into the preserve, the truck not more than five hundred feet from the entrance, driver's door wide open. He walked to the passenger door, somehow maneuvering it open and gently placing Theo into the seat. Still his eyes were closed, soft snores trickling from him as his chest rose and fell in an even, slow rhythm. A smile rose to his face, chasing away the remnants of guilt that tried to latch onto him. Nothing stuck. He was too content, watching as his Theo slept on. He brought a hand up, knuckles brushing the stray strands from his face.
"I love you, so much," he whispered, resting his palm over the chimera's heart.
It was another few minutes before he finally shook himself loose and pulled away, gently closing the door before hopping into his own seat on the other side. The truck was silent, apart from the engine's gentle rumble, as he turned it, not only due to Liam making sure the radio was effectively turned off the moment he was able to do so, but because Theo remained fast asleep, unable to run his mouth.
Something deep ache inside of Liam settled as he flicked his eyes from the road to Theo's sleeping form, noting the way the chimera has his nose pressed into the hoodie, his hoodie. Soft snores leaving his cracked lips was music enough, though when little huffs and whimpers slid through, Liam's fingers twitched on the wheel. Everything inside of him screaming, begging for him to just reach out, to touch, to soothe. There had been fighting too much lately; between him and Theo; him and his wolf; he was not about to fight himself too.
Which was exactly how his hand landed in Theo's hair the next time his snores turned to distressed whines, gently scratching at the chimera's scalp as he drove. Theo shifted slightly, bobbing his head for a moment before settling back down again. Liam exhaled, letting the breath he hadn't even realized he was holding peter out of his chest, hand relaxing once again against the wheel.
He repeated a steady mantra of, 'Theo is okay, Theo is safe, Theo is here.' under his breath, occasionally letting his hand drift from his scalp to his chest, feeling the steady thumping of his heart, until he pulled up his driveway. Thankfully, there was no one on his porch. The last thing he needed right then was Scott to pop up and wake Theo up. God only knew when the last time he had slept this long, this peacefully, had been.
With another glance over at the chimera, Liam pulled out his phone, finding the pack chat and typing out a quick, concise message.
Liam D 6:45am - Safe. Staying at my house. Permanently.
Carefully muting it as he opened his door and slid out, he replaced the phone in his pocket as he moved to the passenger side. His pulse climbed slightly as he opened the door, crossing his fingers and toes that Theo stayed asleep. To his surprise and glee, he was able to repeat the slow process of unloading the, somehow still sleeping, chimera, carrying him inside and upstairs with ease.
For a split second, he stopped in front of the guest bedroom. Social niceties said letting his friend wake up in an unclaimed space was the polite thing to do. His wolf, however, vehemently disagreed, gnashing its teeth at him for the very thought. Without a further debate he turned to his own room, hip checking the door open and closing it the same way behind him.
He walked to his bed and stopped, looking down at the chimera again, watching his face intently. Setting him down would, again, be the more socially acceptable path, but still his wolf rebelled. It wasn't like he wanted to take his hands off of him either, but he had to at least entertain the idea of doing what any rational person would.
With a huff and shake of his head, Liam lifted a leg and crawled onto his bed, Theo still cradled in his arms, head tucked into his neck again. Getting settled up against his headboard was a challenge, but eventually he sagged into the sturdy wood, arms still wound around his chimera, holding him tight to his chest.
"I got you," Liam promised, dropping his head, pressing a kiss to Theo's neck. "I've always got you, from here on out.
