A/N Oh wow! It has been a couple of years, hasn't it? My life has obviously changed (drastically) since the last time I wrote this and I honestly don't know what made me come back. But I am, and I have recently gone back to bingeing the show which reminded me how much I loved the characters. Don't know if any of the original readers (here's looking at you Mmfan1 and eyeon) are here anymore, but I hope you are. Here goes nothing!
Ch 9
Matthew replayed Mary's words in his head over and over again as he went back home. He could kill himself for his stupidity. Why, oh why had he not kept his mouth shut for once? He was in a dreary state by the time he reached his apartment.
His mood did not improve throughout the day either. It was a Sunday, so he was stuck at home. He tried surfing the channels but it seemed as though the universe was conspiring against him. The movie channels were all either playing romcoms or tragedies and he was in the mood for neither. He then thought of watching the news to prepare for work the next day, but every time something caught his eyes, his first thought was how he and Mary would work together to present it. Everything reminded him of her and by daybreak he was driving up the wall. He desperately needed a distraction and many, many glasses of wine to talk his heart out.
But he was in a new city and between being busy at work and getting his place ready, Mary was the only friend he had made. For the first time since he had shifted, he missed Manchester. He realised that the thought of either Manchester or Lavinia did not hurt him as much as it had for a long time and he knew it was all because of Lady Mary Crawley – the wonderful woman who had captured his heart and his entire being in a way no one had. As these thoughts rushed into his mind in quick succession, he grew even more agitated. Unable to spend another minute in his apartment, he put on a shirt and a pair of jeans and rushed out of his place.
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Mary sat still on her sofa for a long time after Matthew left. Then, she slowly rose and looked around her room. The glasses on the table, the haphazardly placed cushion, the crooked rug, everything was a witness to of the night before. She could almost hear and see him coming out of her washroom, speaking incoherently, toothpaste in mouth. She transported herself back to that hour in the morning, that beautiful hour, where her world was perfect as she woke up in the arms of the man she loved.
She loved Matthew. She was sure of it now. Never before had she felt this way about anyone. Never before had turning someone down or breaking off with someone hurt this much. She was reminded of a line she had once read "So it's true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love."
Mary had been stupid. Incredibly stupid. She was supremely trained in the art of repressing emotions, but she had let her guard down and had now lost her one true friend. More than anything she was blaming herself for destroying the friendship and the comfort she shared with Matthew, because surely that would be lost now, right? Oh, what would she do at the office tomorrow? Would Matthew be vindictive? Then she would also lose her position at Downton, the only thing that mattered to her more than Matthew. The one thing she had spent her entire life working and aspiring for.
All these thoughts, blames and questions were driving her mad. Picking up the glasses, she began cleaning the room.
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Matthew took a walk along his neighbourhood and felt his head clearing. As he managed to somewhat control his agitation and grief, he tried reasoning with the situation. The more he thought, Mary's actions started making more sense to him. Of course, she had reacted that way. In spite of being the most capable person in the office, she had been denied power for some unfathomable reason. Was it simply a case of discrimination on her father's part because she was a girl or was there some deeper reason for Robert's actions? It had to be the latter right, because who in their right minds would appoint an irresponsible fool like Patrick over Mary simply because of her gender?
As these thoughts crossed his mind, Matthew began to sympathise with Mary. It must have been so difficult for her to see a virtual stranger taking away the position and responsibilities that should have been hers. With her already being in such a disadvantaged professional position with her father, he could not imagine how precarious it would get if Robert got word of their actions, keep aside the entire office. Everyone would assume Mary was sleeping up and her reputation would be damaged. Although he was mad at the sheer injustice of it all, he could not deny the reality. The ideal solution would be for him to leave but he was sure that even if he did, Mary would still not be promoted. His initial confusion about her being denied the position intensified. He had to find out the reason behind this at the earliest.
Setting his mind on this goal, he sent a mail to Carson asking him for an appointment as soon as could be arranged.
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Mary was just putting the finishing touches to the sofa in the living room when Sybil entered.
"Really, was it so good that you have to clean up?" Sybil said with a smirk.
"What on Earth do you mean?" Mary asked, bewildered.
"I saw you and Matthew snuggling this morning. Where is he? Has he left or is he hiding here somewhere?"
Mary froze in her tracks. Her mind was in a turmoil. Shit, shit, shit. Sybil knew! But thank God it was only her. What would have happened if it were mama or worse, Edith?
"What happened Mary? Don't look so mortified. It's ok. I quite like Matthew and I won't tell anyone." Sybil said, interrupting Mary's train of thought.
Mary could not bring herself to put on her mask and dismiss Sybil. She needed to talk her out with someone, and now that she had lost Matthew and she could not possibly burden Anna with such a secret, Sybil was the only one she could turn to. Looking at her sister, Mary said "I like him too Sybil", in a small voice.
"Oh Mary, that is wonderful! For the life of me I cannot remember you admitting that you like someone. Matthew must be one special guy."
"He is. And that is what makes everything so difficult, you see."
"What are you saying? Mary, what is difficult?"
For the first time since she came into the room, Sybil studied her sister's face and realised that something was not right. Mary looked broken. Even more so than the day she learnt she had yet again been denied the assistant editor position, that too in favour of a stranger. Even more so than the horrible night when a stupid decision she had made as a teenager had been blown out of proportion and presented to Robert; the night that had changed their relationship forever.
"Mary, what is wrong? Tell me. Please darling. You know I will be by your side at any cost, right? Please tell me. I don't like seeing you like this at all." Sybil pleaded.
So Mary told Sybil everything. She recounted the beautiful moments she had spent with Matthew till reality had barged in and her perfect world had crumbled around her.
Sybil felt herself tearing up at the cruelty of it all and gave Mary a tight hug. She loved her sister and was often awed by her strength, but at this moment she understood how fragile Mary was and felt the need to protect her at all cost. But the overwhelming emotion she felt was that of unbridled rage; rage at the unfair system of the world that always shamed women, but mostly rage at her father who did not support his daughter who had time and again proved herself, and at Edith who had let malice govern her actions and hurt Mary to an unimaginable extent.
As she kept Mary in a tight embrace, Sybil vowed that she would not let her suffer in this way. She needed to intervene. It was time to give Granny a call.
A/N: Phew! That was quite a chapter, wasn't it? I am writing after a long time and have been out of touch, so I'd really appreciate feedback. I love receiving reviews, they really help me improve my writing. So, leave a review maybe? Pretty please!
