Soon the Christmas Holidays were coming up. Hermione's parents were indifferent to her coming home. Unlike some students who were poor it was cheaper for them to stay at Hogwarts some years, her parents could afford to have her home and probably splash out a bit on a festive dinner or some special outings if she were to go home for the holidays. For Hermione, since Hogwarts and the magical world was where she wanted to make her fortune, she mostly wanted to be here rather than the oppressive world that was her muggle home. The world where no matter what she did she was never queen bee, little miss popular, and could never arise to become anyone in that world.

However, she had the brilliant idea that this was a good time to invite Tracy-Davis over and learn more of her secrets. A part of her felt guilty for doing this. Especially when Luna was truthfully more of a friend, or ally at this point, and Hermione knew she and Luna could've spent many happy days together at her home but...

I have no friends. The people that I meet are all just to use for my own ends. Find out things about them. Blackmail them later on. Climb up the ladder. I know this is what's ordinary in the path of success but perhaps I just...I don't know. When I started out imagining myself getting into Slytherin I sort of...wasn't aware I'd spend my friendship making opportunities like this... She wrote in her diary.

You can make a friend out of a person. Find a way to have them eating out of your hand. And then find a way to force them into your schedule if you desire their company. They shall be your entertainment. Your plaything. You can have that eventually. Until then, you'll just have to do well with this.

That's right. I can make myself a friend one day. A friend that I want. A friend that I like. It may not be Luna. She's too dreamy and unreadable for me. We were always allies at best...

Indeed.


Dear mum and dad,

I'm doing fine at Hogwarts. I came top of the class again in all the end of term exams and my teachers said I'm one of the brightest witches of my age! I would love to come home for Christmas this holidays. Would it be too much to ask to have a friend over? I want to invite a girl in my dormitory, Tracey-Davis, home with me.

Love,

Hermione Granger

Dear Hermione,

that's wonderful. We are so glad to hear you have not let yourself fall for your previous track record at your elementary school was so great we shall expect no less of you at Hogwarts and if you were to get worse than you did, we would have no choice but to think Hogwarts was a bad decision for you. We of course would love for you to have friends and we would be delighted if you could keep in regular correspondence with at least a few of your friends after you graduate from Hogwarts, but we thought you were closer to Luna Lovegood? She is more of a mentioned person in your letters than Tracy-Davis. If possible we would be more interested to meet Luna Lovegood than Tracey-Davis.

Love from,

mum and dad

The periodic letters that Hermione exchanged with her parents came to and fro. They always responded rather fast. Hermione told her that the school was in a remote area without a post office so sometimes owls flew the letters, and that they had been well trained. She said that sometimes letters got lost in the post office because the school was so remote that the owls would be trained to fly to students' addresses and the school knew hers. Her parents responded to her letters so they must've accepted the explanation in the end even though Hermione felt it was one of the harder things to explain about Hogwarts.

I asked my parents if Tracy-Davis could come over. But they want Luna instead. I did mention her more in my letters to them. What should I do?

Oh dear. This is difficult indeed. Your parents opinion could hold massive sway over who your friends are. Parents...such annoying people. Who ever wanted them?

I'm guessing you're not close to yours then. Do you think there is a way out of it? I suppose I could be happy with Luna. But I think Tracy-Davis would actually get along better with my old friends from elementary. They'll think higher of me that I'm friends with her than Luna. Even though I'm not really friends with Tracy. I don't think Tracy would say no though. Not if I phased it right. She doesn't really have any friends here, not really. I'm sure she wants a real friend...

I wasn't at the time I was created. I don't know of anything afterwards though. Carefully...if you plan your way carefully. There must be. Would it work if you told your parents that the wizarding world was highly based in blood status and Tracy was a halfblood who had more of an in, into that world than Luna was? That your future depended on it. Surely your parents don't want their only child to fail in life due to something easily in their control...

I lie about most of the things in the wizarding world to them. They're muggles. They don't know anything much. Besides, the wizarding world is a bit behind the muggle world in some ways. I don't think they'll like blood status. It's something that if you didn't grow up with it, or didn't go to school alongside people that did, you can't see the seriousness of it. Or at least, some muggles would refuse to. My parents being such.

Then go to Tracy's house. Find a way to invite yourself over. Make it seem like she asked you. It's rude to say no you know.

That's genius! Yes if it seems like I'm getting closer to Tracy and she asked me to go to her place, and I found it rude to say no. I'll...think about it...


"Why are you getting close to Blaise all of a sudden? You clearly think he's a creep," Luna peered at Hermione as the term drew to an end. They were studying together in an empty classroom closer to the Ravenclaw side of the castle.

"Do I? Does everyone else in the school think I'm disgusted with Blaise? I mean, we have been talking more of late but I don't want others to know how much I disliked him before. Cause it makes me seem...like I have less choice in the matter than I actually do," said Hermione.

"You said one or two things about him which made me think so. What's changed? Something had to," Luna pressed.

Hermione paused. She liked Luna. Luna was her ally. The two of them had some shared beliefs in the wizarding world such as one's destiny shall be made due to their own choosing and not because of anything that happened as a baby. But yet there were some things they kept from each other. Hermione didn't feel like she could read Luna. She hadn't meant to pause for so long but the split second's hesitation meant everything.

"There's some stuff you don't wish to tell me," said Luna. A note of sadness was in her voice.

"No, Luna, I don't mean-" said Hermione.

"The trust between us was never so big," said Luna, springing up, "but it seems to have gotten smaller. I shall still be friends with you Hermione. Because I simply enjoy your company-"

"You do-" Hermione's eyes were wide.

"I know you think everyone dislikes you because you're bad in some way," said Luna, "but truthfully you have a rather delicious personality and I could enjoy it. Anyone could. I have enjoyed it all these years. But I suppose you don't let everyone see your delicious personality...only those you're allies with...because you don't trust others..."

"Do I? Why am I so...blunt," Hermione stamped her foot in a bit of frustration. She hadn't realised it but she ruled out everyone at Hogwarts who wasn't intending on moving up early on so she never interacted with them much.

"Because you don't need to be not blunt. You're smarter than most people and everyone knows it. You've gotten your whole life through not being not blunt..." reasoned Luna, "I still enjoy hanging out with you. And I shall enjoy all the hours we have left when you bring pleasurable company to me. Even if there's some stuff that shall never be mine to know..."

"I guess, I enjoy your company too," said Hermione.

"Everyone does I think," said Luna, "I don't seriously annoy anybody. Not on a deep level. It's just that most people don't look past the superficial aspects."


I feel sad. Hermione wrote in her diary later. I feel like there's a new rift between Luna and I.

You are still allies. The diary reminded her back.

Not with the same innocence as before. I think Luna's opinion of me changed. But she doesn't really mind. Luna could go from thinking you're a good person to a bad person, but as long as she gets some measure of happiness from you she will preserve the good. She's not like most people.

Indeed she isn't. I don't like Luna. Stay away from her.

Hermione blinked. It was one of the first times she and the diary really disagreed with each other. She wondered what happened if she were to push it...

Actually I like her. I don't think you understand. She's the first real person who I felt had my back at Hogwarts. There's a bond that can't be broken. I almost wish I could go back and change her mind. I think she's one of the best people I've met in my life. Nothing will ever change that.

Indeed. Pathetic little people like you shall never get anywhere. You can't get what you want from her. She's just a neutral ally at best, and an odd one at that. Tell me you don't find something mockable about her?

I think I shall disagree with you. I liked you at first and still do. But you are a very nasty enchanted diary.

Enchanted diaries all take after their owners. Didn't you know that? All enchanted objects do to an extent. There are cheerful enchanted objects, mopey enchanted objects, flashy enchanted objects...I of course have the personality of the one who enchanted me.

Who's a Slytherin prat. You sound like another Draco Malfoy, or possibly Theo Nott.

I'm as Slytherin as they come. Us Slytherins haven't changed much throughout time. Not since the days of Salazar Slytherin and his ways. If you're waiting for a day when Slytherins don't take after Salazar and his snide cunning ways you're out of luck.

You know, there's a Draco Malfoy in every generation. Just that some don't come with the old Sacred 28 excuse to have a giant stick up their ass and think they're so much better than everyone else. But you're all the same! No one is really any nicer from year to year!

You love me though. I have helped you on your way to greatness. I have given you tips that have worked. Close my pages and you shall never reach your full potential. You know this.

This has been bottled up hasn't it? You've always wanted to have a go at me. In fact, I get the feeling you don't think I'm Slytherin enough for you.

Correct. And now that I have unleashed a bit of my true self I shan't hold back. Well done Hermione, you have unlocked a deeper part of my personality through writing in me enough. I shall be the best Slytherin conniving voice you ever had.

In fact, I notice that sometimes when I'm not writing in the diary I feel like you're in my head somehow. An enchanted voice.

Yes, some enchanted objects leave marks on the person who interacts with them a lot. It's not really me, but an echo of myself when you hear my voice in your head outside of writing in me. Kind of like how a ghost is an imprint of a person. If you stopped writing in me you wouldn't hear my voice in your head so much.

I'm going to sleep now. I...don't know how I feel about the real you. This realer layer. I mean, on the one hand I like it because I feel like you'll give me better tips but I guess...I miss being innocent and naive. I know more about Slytherin politics now than I did before and I almost wish I didn't.

Thoughts every Slytherin has I suppose. Goodnight Hermione.

Goodnight Tom.

Tom had been the name of the enchanted diary. He'd mentioned it at a point. Hermione shivered. Tom...even though she barely knew the person, she didn't even know what he looked like, a part of her felt like she may have a crush on him if she ever knew him in real life. Except she always thought he was old and maybe closer to her parents age now, which helped her in not fawning over him. Still, it was a bit of a forbidden attraction, this one she had towards the disembodied voice in the diary...


"Want to gossip about the Slytherin boys?" Hermione asked Tracy in the girl's dormitory one day. The Slytherin clique were out and Tracy had come into the room to get some items. Hermione was usually the one who stayed in the dormitory the most out of all of them, sometimes just reading a book. She had bought along one or two of her favourite novels to read at Hogwarts just in case she felt alone enough. So far she was only a quarter of the way through her umpteenth reread of it so it looked like the year was interesting enough.

Since the Slytherin girls gossiped about marriage and boys with a sort of competitive tension, Hermione recognised it as an interesting topic and was using it to hook Tracy into conversation with her. Surely Tracy would be a bit tempted...

"Can't. I've got other friends to tend to," said Tracy, who had branched out with the Hufflepuffs since the Slytherin girls rejected her. Hermione saw Tracy and the Hufflepuffs sometimes, where Tracy tried to play the lead gossip with all the juicy secrets among them, acted as if she was doing each of them a favour by spilling what little (made up mostly) stuff she knew about the other Slytherin girls. It was like how she couldn't be anything in Slytherin, she tried to become something to the Hufflepuffs. They ate it up mostly.

"I know juicy stuff about Blaise," said Hermione.

What am I doing? I don't really. He's just someone who I've recently started trying to use because he keeps flirting with me. I don't know anything about him. I think I panicked in the heat of the moment. Oh no, have I turned into a liar?

Hermione had never exactly really lied before. Now she was finding herself thinking up lies about Blaise to keep Tracy's interest.

It's not really a lie. Tracy thinks up gossip all the time. Big lies too. It's different lying to a liar. It doesn't really count.

There was Tom's voice in her head again.

"Really?" Tracy crawled to the side of her bed that faced Hermione's bed the most, Hermione got the bed on the end and Tracy's was next to hers. Otherwise it was rather gloomy in the Slytherin dormitories which was always a bit dark. Things felt mysterious and ancient here.

"Screw the Hufflepuffs. I'll say I had a detention," said Tracy.

Lies, lies and more lies.

"Yeah, he's in a relationship with a fourth year. But I won't say her name," lied Hermione.

"Why? I won't tell. I know how important it is to keep it a secret. Please," Tracy revealed her puppy-eyed look at Hermione who didn't previously know she was capable of pulling of such a look until now. It looked awful on her. Hermione hated it. This obligation she should be kind or satisfy someone's desires or help...

"A secret for a secret," lied Hermione. What am I getting myself into?

Good. You will have to learn how to lie well. How to think up lies on the spot. Cunning allows you to move up...

"Now we're talking," said Tracy, "can I play with your hair? My friends from elementary school and I would do each other's hair sometimes when we talked. Pansy, Daphne and Millicent wouldn't even let me touch theirs."

"I don't like people touching my hair," lied Hermione even though it was because she knew people could use each other's hair in potions and she didn't want to give Tracy that power. The polyjuice potion being one of them that Hermione had read up about.

"Who do you want to marry when you're older?" tried Hermione.

No. You don't know how to get the most interesting secrets from people. That's not really a meaningful secret.

"What's your biggest secret," corrected Hermione.

"No," Tracy glared back at her.

"Second biggest," said Hermione, "I told you something about Blaise."

"Oh Blaise, he's actually pretty boring. I want to know things about you," said Tracy.

"Done deal," said Hermione.

I'll mine the most secrets out of her.

"I'll admit a secret since you told me something about Blaise. It's also about Blaise. He's mother is a golddigger. Her ex-husbands keep dying mysteriously," said Tracy.

Hermione had heard the Slytherin girls giggling over this a couple of times so this wasn't news to her. She had never bothered to get it confirmed until now and well...she still didn't fully trust Tracy, but whatever the truth was, it seemed to be a bit of a powerful image that people had of Blaise Zabini which was very prominent whenever his name was bought up.

"Blaise kissed a 7 year old girl once. On the lips," lied Hermione, "he told me about it. He doesn't know how messed up that was." Hermione didn't know why she was still talking about Blaise and not herself but she supposed it was perhaps self-preservation, she wasn't that confident in her ability to think up lies about herself yet and was more than comfortable to still trade secrets about Blaise to banter with Tracy for a bit. It was the furtherest she had built up a relationship with her so far.

Tracy's eyes went big, "that's pedophilia. We could blackmail him with it!" she grinned.

No. Please don't. What will Blaise do if he finds out I've lied about him behind his back. Why do I make up lies?

How pitiful. Your one weakness Hermione. You like certainty too much, also seen in how you always want the answers before every class test and practically worship the textbook. You can't tell a lie to save your life.

"No. I feel bad. He doesn't mean it, please don't. He doesn't deserve it," Hermione found herself saying. I have to find a way to stop Tracy from doing this secrets for secret thing. Because I'm not one of those people who can lie about secrets I don't have.

Tracy's eyes got even bigger, "you don't see how wrong that is? Wow, you're super immoral Hermione. I think that's your secret," she smirked at her, then got up and left, like she had her fill of interesting things for the day and also like she had other things to do.

"Wait-" Hermione called out.

This situation is going horribly. I don't feel like I have an invite to her house for the christmas holidays and it is what I want.

"What are you doing for the Christmas holidays?" she asked, "staying or leaving Hogwarts?"

"Leaving. I can't wait to see my magical and muggle friends again," she said, then promptly sashayed out of the room as if she had better things to do than talk to Hermione.

Hermione didn't ask any more questions, in fact, she was happy to get a rest from Tracy for the time being.

They didn't talk more and she went home by herself for the Christmas Holidays. It was a fun holidays and even though she still felt like she had ways to go before she was truly in in Slytherin, she did grow a little in the process so that was all for her own betterment.


Author's Note: I didn't really like the last couple of chapters, I feel like I tried to put too many plot points here with Blaise, Tracy, but they didn't result in anything very significant to the story and diluted each other, so the last few chapters felt quite boring to me. I also regret trying to put so much here in the story, I would I thought be further along the general idea I had for this story by this chapter. I'm not really sure how to fix it (rewrite it? keep it?) but I think I'll keep everything I've written and try to write better next chapters. Hope these few chapters are the low point of this story and it's all uphill from now on. Please review, I love reading them :)