XVI – "We need to talk"
Asuka Langley Soryu could be called many things: impulsive, annoying, impatient, aggressive, violent, cruel, hostile, unbound, unrepentant… She, of course, preferred to frame those things differently: quick-thinking, persistent, unwilling to waste time, to-the-point, able to get things done, self-assured, refusing to be contained… Opinions on how correct was her reframing differed – usually between her and the rest of the world – but she did not let such a detail ruin her worldview, let alone ruin her mood. And at the moment, it seemed that the positive perspective was not incorrect; she was, once more, holding watch over Unit-01.
"…and as usual, Hikari was asking all the stupid questions", she monologued as she munched on yet another salted pretzel that she managed to wrest from NERV's supplies. "You know the kind: 'When is he coming back?' and 'How should we expect him to catch up with the curriculum?', et cetera, et cetera… and I was all like 'He's a smart boy, he'll manage', and she was–"
She cut her rambling short the moment she noticed something was wrong; her relaxed posture vanished immediately, replaced by a tense, ready-to-strike attitude she always had in a combat situation. She could not consciously say what made her assume this posture, but she knew better than to ignore her instincts. It took her a few long, tense seconds to realise that the hitherto solid, red surface of the Core was rippling. "What the…" she mumbled as she slowly climbed to her feet, not letting the increasingly unstable surface off her sight. Her combat training was telling her to back off at least a few steps, but since the Cage walkways were far from compliance with any safety rules and she was unwilling to take her eyes off the potential danger, this was not a real option. "Shinji? Is that you?" she asked in a loud voice, holding her ground instead. "If you want to scare me, it's not–"
She did not get to finish: the rippling suddenly intensified and her reflexes took over.
When her conscious mind returned control a few short seconds later, the sensations hit her all at once: the hard floor of the walkway she fell onto, ending too soon and leaving her head and shoulders hanging; the pain from the sudden fall and being hit by something, and – most importantly – a clearly human form that was, right now, laying atop her, a form she was holding onto tightly as a defensive reflex, a form that definitely felt off for some reason she could not point her finger on–
"Mrglbfff… Ftrafberry?"
"Was zur neunten Hölle…" she blurted out as she tried to quickly assess the situation.
"A… Afuka?" came out in a muffled and incoherent voice that could belong to nobody but Shinji. Good, even wonderful, her mind told her. He was, clearly, out of the machine and in her arms. Also good, not to mention convenient. He apparently fell atop of her and almost knocked her down from the Cage's catwalk, not so good and definitely inconvenient. And something was still off about his–
Realisation clicked in Asuka's mind as the obvious but impossible-to-accept facts came to her.
"Du… du… du perverse Idiot!"
...
Meanwhile inside Unit-01
Yui's expression was inscrutable, a mix of amusement, annoyance, satisfaction, and defeat.
"How did it work out, Ikari?" Kyoko finally decided to ask after a few long seconds of studying her companion's face.
"Well, it could've gone a little bit better", Yui finally admitted, shaking her head with a heavy sigh. "But he got out just fine… well, a little confused, but that's it. And she is fine, too."
Kyoko raised her eyebrow questioningly – and Yui started to explain the issue in a voice that was far from happy.
...
NERV HQ, a few hours later
Shinji Ikari was accustomed to seeing the hospital ceiling. Admittedly, he was here not that often anymore – but it was often enough to be both familiar and annoying. "Well, here I go again…" he sighed with mild resignation.
"You are awake", a familiar, impassive voice stated. "I shall report that to Major Katsuragi."
"Oh. Wait", Shinji managed to blurt out before Rei reached the door, turning his head toward the source of the voice; the simultaneous similarity and difference between the face he was seeing now and saw in the weird forest was jarring – but there was no time to ponder that now. "What… what happened?"
"You had been absorbed by Evangelion Unit-01 and subsequently returned. Your return has been reported by Pilot Soryu, who was present at the scene. Between being found and the time the medical team has reached you, you have lost consciousness and have been brought to this location to recuperate", Rei Ayanami reported in her usual, emotionless voice. "Are you able to describe your general condition?"
"I'm… fine?" Shinji replied after a few seconds of consideration. "I feel no pain, I'm just… hungry?"
"I will report that along with the fact of your awakening. Is there anything else?"
"Did any other Angel come while I was out?"
"There were no Angel incursions between your absorption and your emergence", Rei replied.
"Well, nice of them to have waited. Thank you, Ayanami-san", he smiled weakly.
Rei seemed to have raised an eyebrow by about a millimetre in a mildly confused expression. "There is no reason for your gratitude. I have been requested to keep a watch over you. I shall now depart to report my findings."
"Of course", Shinji nodded to that. "Is… is Asuka here?"
"Positive. Pilot Soryu is waiting outside, for reasons unknown to me", Rei replied; Shinji could swear he heard an annoyed huff even through the solid wall. "Should I request her presence?"
"No, no, thank you", Shinji shook his head. "I'll ask her myself."
"Leaving your bed is unadvised due to social reasons", Rei countered.
"Social?" Shinji asked, his voice suddenly confused.
"For reasons unknown to me, possibly scientific in nature, judging by the sensors attached to your chest, you had not been provided any form of hospital attire", Rei explained in a perfect deadpan. "Your unclothed appearance could cause disturbance in social norms."
"Um… could you tell someone in charge that I'd like to get… well, something to wear?" Shinji asked, his ears quickly turning red.
"I shall relay your request", Rei confirmed, her tone still emotionless. "Is there anything else?"
"I don't… I don't think so?" Shinji replied with a heavily embarrassed expression.
"Acknowledged", Rei turned to press a door-opening button. "You are likely to receive a visit from Major Katsuragi within a short timeframe. Please get well soon", she added – and left.
"Goodbye!" Shinji called behind her as his eyes tracked the departing figure – and chuckled at a movement behind the door, the door that did not close fast enough. "Asuka… I know you're there", he started in a voice that could be called amused if not for the fact that this would be an unthinkable audacity on his part. "Please, come in before Misato-san comes in running", he requested.
A moment later, the doorframe was suddenly filled with a posturing form of an annoyed redhead. "Hey, don't think too much about it, idiot", Asuka scoffed. "I just came to check whether you're really down, or maybe they're exaggerating, and I can kill you for making me worried dead for you!"
"I'm okay", Shinji replied with a chuckle. "You can kill me if you want", he added in a suddenly sad voice. "But… please listen to me first."
"Nah, it's a hospital, they'd revive you quickly anyway. And then Misato would scold me. Again", she sighed and shrugged. "So… what do you have to say for yourself? Hm?" she asked, her hands still on her hips, her form still towering over his half-sitting figure.
"Asuka… I'm sorry", he started, his voice solemn.
She shot him a watchful glare; the reflexive rant on how he was "always sorry" and "not knowing other words" died even before it reached her tongue. Granted, she had heard those words dozens, no, hundreds of times from him – but this time they felt very different. It was not about sincerity – his apologies were always sincere. It was not about the words – those were the same he always used. It was not even about the tone, even though it was definitely more serious, almost solemn. She could not point her finger at it – but this felt genuine, very different from his reflexive, dozen-a-day apologies.
Unaware of her thought processes, he continued. "I'm sorry for everything. I… you didn't tell me… or no, you did, in your way, but I didn't listen. I'm sorry I called you heartless, I'm sorry I didn't understand what you did to save Toji… to save me. And what you felt."
Asuka's expression went from watchful to confused within the time of those few sentences. "What do you mean, what I felt? I mean", she paused as she felt a blush creep up her face, her heart starting to race, her hopes suddenly returning. 'Be still!' she demanded quietly. 'It's no time for teenage romance, it's time for teenage drama! Or rather, mystery, since I have no fucking idea what is going on here!' she tried forcing her heart to stand down, without much avail. "I mean… can't you, like, start with what happened to you? In some more detail and without the technical babbling I got from Misato and the new Head of Sciences?"
"Well… in short… something went wrong when I killed the Angel–"
"When you tore the Angel apart, tooth and nail, you mean?" she interjected, her tone incredulous. "You officially lost any right to comment on my temper", she added with a sudden smirk emerging on her face. "Ever again!"
"Only if it's on the battlefield", he countered, immediately making Asuka's expression go from smirking to surprised. "As I said… something went wrong and I spent… what day is it, actually? Misato-san forgot to tell me, and she almost ran after she glanced at her watch."
"It's 1st of December", Asuka replied automatically in a slightly confused tone. "Why does it matter?" she asked as she crossed her arms on her chest.
"Oh. Good. Now, as I said, something went wrong, I spent some time extremely confused… and then I landed on my face", he explained. "I really hope I won't have to go through this again."
"You've got some nerve to complain!" she scoffed. "You landed on me! Buck naked!"
"I'm sorry", he said, looking aside, his face becoming red again in an instant.
"And that's it?" she asked, not even trying to hide her disappointment. "That's all you have to say to me?"
"Um… yes?" he replied – but Asuka noticed a small head-shake on his part, along with a shifty, anxious movement of his eyes to his side. "Please, sit down, Asuka… you're making me nervous."
Her brow furrowed – and she obliged, unsure what was going on. Shinji shot a quick nervous look around, wiggled on the bed for a moment, fixing his pillow – and for a few seconds, he leaned towards her. "We need to talk somewhere safe", he whispered. "I can't tell anyone but you", he added and straightened on the bed again.
Asuka stared at him for a few seconds, her glare confused, angry, and finally – hopeful. She pondered something for a few seconds before her lips became a thin line. "This is not how a pillow should be", she declared loudly, annoyance clear in her tone. "I'll call a nurse… nah, they never do it right… let me fix that", she said as she leaned in, her hands reaching for the pillow. "What do you mean? Tell me what?" she whispered a second later with her face close to his own, somewhat struggling not to touch his skin.
"Not here", he started in the quietest whisper but relented when Asuka shot him a death glare. "I was awake the whole time, Asuka. I know what happened to our mothers. They are alive. I saw them."
If Shinji had slapped her face instead of speaking those words, this would have had a lesser impact. Asuka's hands paused and she stared at him for a few long seconds, her face growing increasingly pale. "You'd better not be–" she started in a growling whisper.
"I'm not", he whispered back. "I'm not crazy, too. I'll explain. When safe. We need safety", he reminded her, his eyes darting around the hospital room.
Asuka straightened with a forced calm expression, stood up, and took a step away from his bed. "Now it's right", she spoke aloud. "I hope they'll release you soon, I'm done with Misato's cooking", she spoke the last word with a concentrated venom in her voice. "I was hoping for some nice story, but I guess a good dinner will do, too."
"I'm not really hurt, am I? I don't think they'll keep me here for more than a day or two", he replied carefully. "So, you won't have to suffer long."
"I sure hope so", she replied, turned on the spot, and almost ran out of the room, a stampede of thoughts running in her head as she walked the NERV corridors.
He was alive. He was not gone. He did not hate her.
The nightmares that were plaguing her soul over the last few days were over in a way better than she could have hoped.
And he knew something, something important. Something about their mothers. Assuming he did not hallucinate during that time, of course – his claims to not being crazy were not much – but Asuka tried not to think about that option too much. Evangelions were strange enough; if they just decided to start granting forbidden knowledge and dark secrets, she was willing to take it just as much as she took everything else before that.
'This is going to be a bad day or two, Soryu', she told herself as she forced yet another step that was taking her away from him and towards a place where she could safely collapse and process all that. 'But if he hasn't lost a few screws inside and if he really knows something… you might get the best birthday present ever.'
A few more dozen steps took her to the elevator, and after a while, she was out in the sun.
She stopped and raised her eyes to look at the scorching orb, her eyes forced to squint.
"God above… I know this is not how I'm supposed to pray, I never really did…" she started in a whisper after making sure nobody was near enough to be listening, "but I guess it'll have to do; it's the intent that counts, right? I can find a chapel later if you need me to. Anyway, thanks for returning him to me… or for not making it harder for those who did, I don't know… and I don't care. Good thing that I was not getting tested, you know? And if he was, he passed it with–oh", she paused as a horrifying thought passed through her mind.
"You're not making him into some kind of messiah, are you? Testing him, giving him secrets to teach others, only to make someone betray him and sacrifice him for some mystical purpose in the end? Because if this is what you're doing, then you better think this over and switch that Chosen One crap to someone else. Someone far, far away. I just got him back, and if I am ever losing him again, ever…" she paused with her fists balled and her eyes shut tight. "If I am ever losing him again, this is going to get ugly. Because for now, I am grateful for him being here again. I hope, I really hope, that nothing changes that. Ever", she finished, relaxed a small bit, opened her eyes and stared at the sun for the last time before she started to walk again. "Amen."
